Ryan Reynolds

25:10And I just thought, I don't want to be a food broker. So, and you don't, my dad did it without a university education. So, uh, did you do groundlings when you got to LA? I think you did. I did do groundlings, but I moved to LA to be in groundlings. And I, of course it doesn't work like that. You don't just show up and go ready for the main stage, everyone. Um, you know, I can give you strides. I can give you everything you want. Um, no, you go through the class. That's what I did. I, when I showed up in LA and I was like, I'm ready to perform. And they said, you will take these classes. And I said, yes, I will.

25:43And, uh, I did, but at least I got stage time. That's the thing. And got to improvise with some great people. Yeah. And so. Well, they're so good. They're all so in shape in there. Like, you know what I mean? That's a muscle, like that kind of ability. Oh, I thought you meant physically. Physically? No, no, no, no. God, these are comedians. No, I've never been in shape. That's why I was confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. They get home and just vanish into a jar of, you know. But I would think you as an improviser, that would be, I could see you being devastating as an improviser. I think it would be.

26:16Yeah. That'd be your fun space. Just, I mean, just in the times that I've encountered you, we start fucking around instantly. And I could see like, oh, this is someone who wants to play 24-7 is the vibe that you give. I don't know if that's true. Yeah, but also I would say that you are a person that does it as well, but you can also pivot quite quickly to something that's emotional because most people that are funny, I think, have some pretty, you know, deeply emotional people as well. I think like comedy and drama subsist on the same thing. Tension, subverting it makes, moves you. and if you have a like a film that has emotion then you can or anything redemption called whatever you want but it makes all that funny stuff so much more funny and rich and powerful so i loved groundlings when i did do their shows i used to do it like a once in a while like a thursday cooking with gas show they had and um and i would do i think i did armando a couple times here and then i loved it because there was no limit to it but on a film set i don't want to i like it's almost like method acting i'm not gonna like when people are coming on a film set a Deadpool film anything I'm not gonna make my process their process right so like I'd never want to be that guy so I always I chat and we talk and we say okay so how how can I help you feel awesome and like you know even a actor who's a day player who comes in um for one day it's a that's a hard that's the hardest job in show business because he's got two lines and he's gonna over the fuck do it like you wouldn't believe because in his mind you know there's no small parts, just small actors.

27:43I gotta crush the shit out of this. And then you, but if you can make it safe, I always love the - Your soup, sir! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're going to liquefy you, and I'm going to snort your ashes on the top of the Place de Beauj. Oh, my God. Just to say I did it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I always say to them, when they're leaving, you say, hey, look, excuse me that moment, you're gonna drive home and yeah when day players you yeah you drive your cell phone uh and uh you uh you have to touch everything in the car too by the way uh you you're gonna get in that car and you go i should fuck i should have done that and then i was like then we go like okay take 10 minutes and think about what that is yeah and then let's go do that and it's like this fun little trick and then you do that and then you say now do the worst version you can do like i'm telling you you're safe we'd never use the worst version you trust me but like do the worst and then that's That was the take that ends up in the show.

28:42Because now you've basically said, like, you're as safe as you could ever imagine. And I love that feeling. So I'm not like a, my improv is like, I've written 10 alts for each joke, but not just for me, but for my co-stars. And it's a, well, here's a menu. Is there anything you'd like here? Wesley Snipes was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I was like, you did not read that fast. Come on, this one had a beginning, middle, and end. I'm like, come on. Wesley Snipes has gotten pretty far on Nope. Yeah. Oh my God. But then he delivered. He was like, you know, I gave him that hit. This ice skate uphill line.

29:20He was like, I'll do it. There was great. So much, you know, when I watched Deadpool and Wolverine, I mean, I'm just, I'm thinking the credit sequence at the top, you know, the - It served nine purposes pretty much, but yes. Well, but I'm thinking I'm hard pressed to think of how much was packed into one film and to just be watching. So my son and I love that we were going to that movie and something went awry and we got there and I just said, oh, trust me, we're just going to miss like two seconds up top. And we missed, I think we missed like 45 seconds of the opening. That would have hurt. That would kill me if I knew that.

30:05And you know what? It killed me to the point that we went back and watched it later on. But it's rare that you can miss 45 seconds of a movie at the top and feel like, oh, shit. I'd miss some sweet, sweet syrup. Because the whole thing was jam-packed. You just missed me singing along to the Marvel theme song. The bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Marvel. They're so stupid. You know, I keep my own movie. you know uh but it was they were they were amazing you could like make i mean bob eiger was you know he he saw the film and the first time he saw the film it was in pretty good shape and he he said uh i gotta you gotta get out to remove the one line ryan and i was like what what line you know the line and i went mickey mouse he's like yeah i was like the bob the whole movie orbits around that line like when that line is the film it's the thrust the thesis it's everything right and it's Because my brain, when he says the one line, is like, precious.

31:03Yes. Must keep the line. And so I really had to kind of like walk around his office a little bit, do a couple of laps, and then it was fine. We were good. We switched it up. And he just didn't want the Mickey Mouse joke in. And now it got, not because of me, they released this script for like WGA, you know, awards season and stuff. And they just shower these kinds of movies with awards. so um you know i was dancing behind you and trying to suggest things at the uh at the academy award yes you were yes you were what we're calling the academy award situation yes uh you were in um in the situation i love that nobody knows that when i hosted the oscars that really was you as dead oh my god no one knows you know yeah most would assume arthritis at this stage they have pills for that too did you have i have a question which is did you have an idea of what you wanted your trajectory to be would you have been happy if tv had hit uh and that worked out or did you always know like pretty much where you wanted to end up well it's so different now it's like now people who are in film are hoping to gain enough respect to get a tv show Right.

32:14If I could get White Lotus. Oh my God. Limited series. Yeah. Yeah. I know everything happened perfectly. My whole career was an aggregate. It was very slow. It was never, I never experienced that overnight fame thing. And I honestly, I think about how lucky I am because a lot of the guys that I came into the business with are gone. And a lot of them are passed away or like, you know, took these tragic, you know, turns where you hear about it, you know, one random Wednesday. you're like what you know you just can't these are friends of yours yeah you know in in los angeles when i first met i lived in east hollywood and and you know everyone was partying everyone was doing you know this and that and i just it was uh scary it's a scary place to yes you know to to to be young and to have fame and money is a very very odd combination of things and i i thankfully was so slow with everything i wasn't i wouldn't consider like i i'd sort of hit it in a way when you asked me earlier when my dad he never made it to Deadpool like he never made it to that coming out he made it to I was in post production on October 25th in 2015 when he passed away it was three months earlier my daughter James is named for him so he's James Reynolds James does not like it when I call her Jimbo she'll grow to love it I know yeah I'm and that's our dog Hawk Tua

33:42Okay, you know what? I'm going to stop naming things. Yeah, don't name anything anymore. Here comes my parakeet Adolf. Yeah, yeah. God. Poor sons of bitches around that time, right? Who had that stuck with that name. God damn it. I mean, we had a feeling at his first speech, right? That putsch. You know the putsch? It was nuts. You were nuts. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what the fuck we were talking about. Well, your trajectory, but you just you took it one step at a time. Yeah. And I think it allowed me to enjoy it like in points. I'm always uncomfortable with the thing that I'm also in pursuant of.

34:22Right. Like your fame is a weird thing. It has a little power to it. It's odd. But like I I I found a way to kind of make myself appreciate that part of it more because I love acknowledging and playing with the cultural landscape, whether it's a movie, a commercial, sports. like I don't care I just I don't discriminate I love that they're in all those areas so sharing fame made it way less weird for me like when like a kid comes up and says can I get a selfie with you I'm like who's the most important person in your life and they're like my dad Frank and I'm like video I switched to a video and I'm like Frank I'm here with fuck's your name Will this is not a hostage situation he's fine but he wants he you're the most important person and he's like you're the one you were the phone a friend.

35:09That was you. You know, and then you let it go. It takes just a few seconds longer than a selfie. Yes. But like, now it's a fucking memory for them forever. Yeah. And it's a thing that I walk away feeling like good. It's a great philosophy. You will attest. I, I pursue people who don't want a selfie with me. Oh God. Yeah. And say, you're going to like it. It's going to be funny. I've chased children into traffic. Give me a phone. It'll be good. It'll be good. Who's the most important person in your life? You don't know who you are. Oh my God. Yeah, so there's neediness and then there's neediness, but they will enjoy that one day.

35:48I once made a video for lorazepam. You know, I mean, somebody said lorazepam was the most important thing in their life. And I was like, okay, well, make a video for that, for sure. I've seen it. They air it now. Yes, with a disclaimer at the end. You missed out on it. And I just want to say, because I have to say this now every time I bring it up, is that if you're having clay-colored stool, please consult a doctor immediately. Razepam. I feel like me again. Trademark. Pfizer Corporation. You can bleep those out, right? No. We're going to get that money. Thank you very much. They got a lot of money.

36:22We will not share it with you. You will get none of it. The clay-colored stool thing really costs them a lot, too, because you don't want that. Or do you? Or do you? You can pass it off as clay in our class. If you listen to it while you're on the toilet and you put some unchained melody on and that comes out. You're like,

36:40it's never going to happen. But if Demi... No, no, no. No, no, no. For your touch. And Tack is holding you and you're both on the toilet. This is me and Tack. Yeah, it's you, Sona. No. Yes, that's why they have reverse toilets. Don't put me in this. Oh, God. So you can sit this way. Yeah. Oh, God. I've never done this before, but can we just turn off the mics? Just cut it. Just cut the hyphen. I used to work with a studio executive who will not be named until we stop recording. And he always aimed it at someone, whoever stalks. Jesus. Yeah, what do you mean Jesus? I mean, yes, we'll do your idea.

37:23It means you don't point your crotch at me. I'm going to, yeah, for those at home, Conan just went back in his chair and then aimed his crotch at everyone he was speaking to. I learned from the best yes you did I do learn from the best and that man could use some underwear I tell you that much because that also is we are in a moment where of course politically there's some tension between Canada and the United States over tariffs what do you guys send us what do we send you and it occurred to me today that we have been getting some of the greatest comedians and comic minds and actors of all time from Canada, I don't think we've sent you shit.

38:05I don't think we've exported much to you in the comedy realm. And I think if someone were to do a reckoning just comedically and you started to add up the Ryan Reynolds and the Martin Short and the Lorne Michaels and the Mike Myers and it just goes on and on and on. There's too many to even begin naming. Seth Rogen went to high school up the hill for me. Yeah. There you go. No, no. Seth Rogen went to high school. Oh, my God. He can read? Yeah. Fluent. A lot of kids who go to high school can't read. No. You can pass. I had to do a commercial in French Canadian the other day, and it was sort of like a very scary thing because when you're in those schools, you have to know French Canadian.

38:45You have to speak it fluently, and it just goes away. It just goes away. If you don't use it, it's gone. So I was trying to do a commercial in French Canadian. It's just like everything. This is a terrible sob story. But all the... So you're French Canadian. You should do a really sad tour where you go, I'm like, people think I've got it all. No, yeah. Ryan Reynolds, but I can't speak French-Canadian. Until I asked for a pastry in Paris. And they're like, oh, is that French-Canadian? You're speaking. You need a chocolat pour moi, yeah? Yeah, no, no, not good. We realize that Canada does have, it does have a lot of fun.

39:16But what I'm saying is you've sent us, and I'm thinking, what have we sent? What have we sent you guys? It's not a fair, there's an imbalance. Birdflue. Yeah, birdflue. Thanks. Thank you. So there's an imbalance of trade in that respect. And that's about as political as I get, but I think it's got to stop. And it's got to stop now. It's got to stop now. It's a good, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had the Ackroyd voice in my head all day. I can't, yeah, you've heard me doing my bad impression, but I can't get it out. Now you've had, sorry, I can't get it out. Oh, out kid. I'll tell you what kid. He is a, fuck off back to Canada.

39:49Dan Ackroyd, legendarily funny guy, but a, not someone, he's an unusual man. He's, you don't meet a Dan Ackroyd every day. And, um, Nope. And one of the more underrated, though, I think, talents. Oh, my God. Like one of the smartest people you'll ever talk to. But yeah, eccentric. But we were talking about how his comedic ability to, I mean, he did it on SNL in so many ways, but to fire information out of his mouth in with great authority and accuracy. No one else could do that like him. Like he could pump like half of the movie's boring exposition, make it funny, make it entertaining into your mind in like a third of a second.

40:33It was the crazy. I've never seen someone speak as fast as Dan Aykroyd does. In Ghostbusters, she has this speech that must have been that long on the page and it just comes out. And you know it, you still hear it all. That's the trick. And I just think he's, I'm kind of, I think I'm a little obsessed with him in some ways. So he invited you to hang with him a little bit, right? Yes. But then he also wanted you to take off at some point. Yeah, you gotta come up here to Ontario. kid and then we're gonna eat at dinner and you're gonna sleep over and in the morning we're gonna do the interview and you're gonna you're gonna fuck off back to where you came from that's what we're gonna do bring an extra order order canada pin for me and uh put it on and we'll do it let's go you know what i love is there's a reason he made the dragnet movie because he is jack webb in some ways i think he is jack webb because jack webb if you ever watch old dragnets it's all jack webb just spitting out all this information really square cop 1960s.

41:26These are Benny's. Those are high. If you have a in his palm, he would have a list or a whole bunch of pills and he would rattle them out really quickly. Those are blue butterflies. You know, and it was hilarious. And then he did the Dragnet movie with Tom Hanks and it was he was fantastic. That was back when, like, the miscellaneous line item on a like a production report. It's just like all cocaine. Like and then you guys spent eighty thousand dollars on miscellaneous in one night. What the fuck is that? That's always the thing. Dan also shows like a thing, a bit that Candy, that John Candy, you know, you saw, I think you saw in Plains Trains, which is what you're seeing in a performance.

42:05It's heartbreaking, funny, vulnerable, and all the things, all the reasons I have always been and will always be very much in love with Mr. John Candy. But Dan Aykroyd, if you've ever seen Gross Point Blank, he gives the most unexpected villain performance I've ever seen. It wasn't over the time. It was just grounded and weird and infinitely watchable. When I finally tracked him down because he's elusive, I said I owe money because I've stolen so much from him that I believe I owe him$41 million. Don't put that on paper. No, not at all. Because you'll take it. I heard him jot it down, though. But no, he's just a real gentleman too.

42:51Like really, you know, just made a good stuff. And he sells a tequila that comes in a skull. Crystal skull vodka. Because he's really into actual crystal skulls, right? And aliens and things? And UFOs. And aliens. Yeah. Did you try any? Did I try? I think I've tried everything that exists at some point. You know, try it twice, right? Yeah. Clay colored stool. Yes. You can smoke it. We don't have to go back there. but don't smoke the lorazepam because I also have another PSA for that and you don't you don't want those side effects oh my god or baby formula don't smoke baby formula are we gonna list things you shouldn't smoke now yes most of them when you smoke you don't know you're peeing anymore for the rest of your life you dislike your life oh it's warm now it's cold it's warm and comforting all of a sudden but now like the womb a little stingy a little cold yeah no no no I didn't I was never big on all of that it's probably why I'm like as I come down a real heavy case of alive.

43:51Yeah. I've always wanted to do a non-alk commercial for like one of those, you know, I wrote one, I haven't figured out how to end it all yet, but like where people do the same things drunk people do, except on their non-alcoholic beverage. Yes. Choice, where they're like, you know, the next morning, they're like, you know, there's a woman who's like, I went out with Gail and the girls the other night and I don't drink, but I had a one night stand with this guy and then the camera just shifts over to him and he's like, and let me tell you something, I don't drink either and I felt everything. And she's like, I was awakened and basically says, you know, we got crazy in the middle of the night and we just decided, fuck it, let's have a baby.

44:34And we just met. I didn't know his last name. And basically, experiences that each person has that you would normally, like the groom at, or the best man at a wedding, you know, gives a speech that's just fucking profound, you know? And it's not like just the letter L for five straight minutes and then like an anecdote about himself. You know, just nails it. Toe pick, everything. So I've always wished that's like the angle. That's the angle. That would be fun with it. It could have been an advertising. You missed out. Yeah. Because I can tell when you do your, whether it's Mint Mobile, and I'll give you guys a plug.

45:11I think it's a fine service. That's okay. Yeah, it is a fine service. Very good. Your ads are very funny and I get the impression that you are behind them or steering them because you have that kind of brain. You like to say this is a commercial, but also call out that it's a commercial you love. They know they're being, I mean, consumers know they're being marketed to. Yes. So don't do, you know. It's not a very special episode of Dharma and Greg. It's a fucking, you know, it's a fucking tide stick commercial, you know. Yeah. But it's, well, it's, you know why I like them and it's sort of, it's not just me, certainly.

45:43I have some of the greatest, smartest people that, quite frankly, I find threatening, who I get to work with. I mean, Sean Levy, who I've done three movies with now, you know, it's like a brain trust. And like there's a real, I mean, movies that you sort of, quote, control are like, you're not controlling it. They just trust you. You know, you said like, hey, I'm going to land the plane. You know, I remember trying to get my Deadpool and Wolverine movie made. And I just focused on that. I was like, I will return your investment. Like, I will return your, I got you. Like, I am not a reckless, you know, pilot.

46:18I am, I will land the fucking plane on a dime. It will be a four quadrant R-rated film. I'm going to make Disney's first four quadrant R-rated film. And this is after they said no to 18 different things, including a movie where Deadpool is after the hunter who killed Bambi's mom. They said, we don't touch Bambi. And I said, you said you don't touch Mickey Mouse. We don't touch Bambi and we don't touch Mickey Mouse. You know what? Given the profits and what you've shown, I think you can do it now. Yeah, we did. Yeah, but that's a part of our responsibility, too, is people that produce the movie and we co-write the movie and we're back to all those things.

46:55It's like making sure it works. Because I've done movies that are, you know, small films that are in Sundance and all that stuff. And I loved making them. And they were hard to make. and they would get great reviews and everything, but then you'd find out later it just bankrupted whatever little tiny studio made it. And I thought, I'm going to be out of work. They're getting out of work. I've got to find a job that fits. So it's a win-win. If I want to do it for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to figure that out. And then it grew to all of it, like all the other things. I loved commercials when I was a kid.

47:28If you saw a good commercial, it stayed with you. And I was one of those kids, like you probably were, you were sitting there two inches from the TV. and just trying to stay up as late as humanly possible. Being irradiated because TVs back then ran on plutonium. Oh, my God. Right? And my face was melting.

47:47Scarred for life. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, no. We sometimes turn off the lights in the studio and I'm a grinning skull. The teeth whitening. It's got to stop.

48:07Really, the biggest change for me was Green Lantern because it didn't work. And I watched a studio throw money at problem, at the problem after problem after problem, instead of creating. Like, you know, constraint is the greatest creative tool in the world. And that's why I like commercials because there's an economy to them. You can't have to make them quick. You have to be not precious about them. You know, it's a fucking commercial. Who cares? It doesn't have to be a Fellini film. It'll either work or it doesn't or it moves at a speed of culture. So it's at least relevant. Like it's a it's an easier way to kind of fix it, you know, but the that movie was where I changed my life because I just saw money.

48:44You saw this is going down or this isn't I don't think this is coming together and they're just throwing more millions at it. Yeah. And it was really like that's hard for everyone because it's it's you're too much money, too much time will murder creativity. Like if you have to you're under constraint, like the next movie I did was Deadpool, which had a fifty six million dollar budget, I believe, which is nothing. Like, I think they probably spent$2.50 on Green Lantern, and this one had nothing. So you had to supplant or change all of these action spectacle set pieces into movies that, like, you remember the dialogue, not the thing.

49:18Because audiences also are inured to special effects. Like, if you, the world in danger, I was like, I love that the character's like, I don't give a shit about the world. Like, I care about those people. Right. And no one else. I've been saying this for years. I refuse to see a movie. at a certain point I declared I will not see a movie that has a portal. If a portal opens up. Oh God, the portal thing. We did use the portal. I know. But we did call it the Marvel Sparkle Circle. Yes. You had fun with it and made fun of it. There are so many movies where clearly they don't know what to do. So what they have is six people put the nine stones together and then the sky opens and anything can come out and it doesn't have to make sense.

50:01I love that this is your cause because most people are like, oh, politics and kids these days. And you're like, portals, portals, portals. Portal. I saw another portal today. Yeah. Used to be get off my lawn. Get out of my portal. A dragon made of fire and lava came out of the sky and punched Captain America, who's a strong man. Yes. And he fell down, but then got up and punched the dragon and it went flying. Preach, sister. I'm telling you. I'm sorry. I know that people think there's problems with racial inequality, gender inequality. There's a poverty in the world. Don't even get us started on tariffs.

50:41But all of that can be fixed by portals if you'll just allow it. No, a dragon will come in and smash it all. Bullshit. I love the use of it because you could say anything in the Deadpool movies. I loved watching Kevin Feige watch the thing back. got together where Deadpool's like, he's like, you know, listen, we don't have to do this. There's a big fight about to happen and they're like, no, we're going to fuck you up or whatever the line is. And he says, no, I mean the multiverse. It's not working. It's not great. It's just been miss after miss after miss. It's been two Ant-Mans forward and one Black Adam back.

51:26And it's not working. and you know Kevin Wentz on each miss after a message so funny and yeah but then what a sport but you make a really good point which is that I do find that that's what's missing is a good movie gives you a couple of people and you if they're doing it right you really care about them I know it sounds corny but I was watching the third man Orson Welles just got Vienna Vienna and I watched that a couple nights ago and And God, they had me caring about these three people in Vienna in 1948. And I think the movie cost$11. But, oh, my God, it's fantastic. And I do think that CGI had people thinking, oh, we don't need that so much as long as because people really care that that portal gets closed.

52:19Yeah. And you're like, I'm not sure they do. They don't really care if the portal gets closed. He's back on. I'm sorry. He's back on the portal. I know, we got right back. I knew we were going back there. I could have seen the gravity. Oh my God. The scene that we've seen so many times where one character is on one side of the glass and there's the radiation and it's you, it's Deadpool. I spocked him. Yes, Deadpool Wolverine. And it's the parody of that scene. And one of the things that in a weird way I got suckered into caring, I was caring about the people in the scene. And then you start fucking around.

52:56Once. I did it just to make Hugh laugh. And I swear to God, there's one. It's actually, we had to realign my head a couple times because of going down the stairs. Yes. It didn't work quite well. So we were like rejiggering it, trying to get it. But I just did it to make Hugh laugh. Because there he is, shirtless, hasn't had a carb since the 80s. He's like, oh my God. You know, can we just get through this scene so I can have a bagel? And, you know, I'm fucking around. This is terrible. You're a horrible friend. Yeah. You know what's so sad? the first time he said it, I thought he said to make you laugh.

53:28I thought so too. And I thought he was saying, Conan, I put that in just for you. And then I realized, no, he means Hugh Jackman. Yeah. And I suddenly lost interest in you as a person. Well, I actually had the same problem with the Whitney Houston song, oh, the Dolly Parton song, but I always thought it was Hugh. I always loved Hugh. And then I was like, wait, Hugh? Oh, shit. No, she meant it. She wrote it about Hugh Hefner. Yeah. Which is weird. Because it's, yes, it's very sexist. Yeah, yeah. she likes that he's commodified women's sensuality I don't know commodified that word's come up three times today it has?

54:01yeah yeah I was sitting next to someone who said co-modified and I was like I think you mean commodified and he's smart as shit I was like so I felt the power in that moment right I was like oh I have something over you right now don't I? no I knew what I was doing because I've trademarked co-modified oh I got you to say it you and McElhenney because it was McElhenney Robert Robert Robert Copernicus. McElhaney was walking around here earlier. You guys were working on something in our, I, we often use your office. I let you use my office to shoot a major film. No, one of your, I think for your Wrexham project, you guys were shooting something.

54:38And I said, yes, yes, of course. Mi casa, su casa, which I believe is, I think that's Spanish. I think. no, that's German. Oh, it's German. I guess. Mein casa. Mein casa. Su casa. But it's angrier. Anyway, I saw you when I first walked in, I see you and I see McElhenney and I give you a hug. And it's like, this is, this is, Ryan Reynolds takes good care of himself, works out. I hug you and I'm like, well, this is an impressive lad. And then I turn to McElhenney, I hug him. That guy is alabaster. Yes, no, heart is a rock. Heart is a rock. No, me, heart is a rock right now. Just describing it, your heart is a rock.

55:19Right, 100%. McElhenney, I saw him without his shirt. how you feeling now there? You guys were expertly lit and in slow motion in my mind when I saw you guys coming together. No, McElhenney, don't sleep on that body. Well, sleep on it if you can. Happily married though, so don't try it. But he's a rock. He's a beast. Incredible. So yeah, Rob, I treat with respect. You better. With kindness. Yeah. Occasional condescension and that's about it. Yeah, mostly just those things. But he did say co-modified because not great. Yeah, he fucked up, not me. I wouldn't do that. Just finished like two years of just in the guts of something, you know, with them.

55:57I always think of filmmakers, and they say filmmakers, like Sean Levy is more like a brother. We just love each other. We're three movies together. We're going to do a fourth one at some point. But that like filmmaker word is not broad enough, though, because like it's so when movies work, you guys talked about this on one of the shows. I think it was like Adam Scott. How like they're hard to make a movie. A movie's hard to make. It's impossible. Yeah, like everyone has to be excellent, like really in care. People sort of underestimate how valuable caring is. And, you know, when you work with a props department or a production designer who in his cells wants to make the best possible.

56:35Our Deadpool and Wolverine, Ray Chan, he passed away, unfortunately, on our last fucking day of shooting, too. It was really sad. But it was one of those things where in post we got to put Easter eggs of him everywhere in the movie. but that movie would never have done what it did or connected with people the way it did without this guy. And I consider a production designer, a filmmaker. Sometimes a costume is a filmmaker. Sometimes it's a, you know, cinematographer. It's just, these are, it's a more vast a pool than I think people realize. You know, there's a lot, like, it's part of why it changed my trajectory when I was at the right time was, you know, you do a movie and you're working with people who if there's one person in charge and that is it, my way or the highway, You get everyone into a yes sir, no sir.

57:18You know, like when I pitch a joke, I'm always like, okay, here's the shittiest version possible. But and what I'm actually doing is inviting dissent. I want you to disagree, like disagree with me because then then we're going to have fun. It's going to get better. Right. And you may have an idea that it's amazing that you've suppressed because I'm like, this is the way. But it's that pool always has to be expansive. And then you make great stuff. And then it's why movies are like, you know, I was so happy you were hosting the Oscars because like you, I think you've now and have always understood the joy of collective effervescence.

57:53It's why you work in front of a live audience a lot, too, which is why, you know, some friends. You make things with people, which is always the magic is we this is a group of us. If you have a good audience, you can make them part of it. I like I think it's coming from a family. I like to do things with people that's another example of why I love this man and now I guess you guys are so sorry he's pointing to me Gail Cone Cone has anyone ever gone Cone Cone they've never gone Cone Cone the reason I love you is that you don't you don't punch down it's not your vibe and it's a good these are the best targets I did it once in in in my life uh and i deeply deeply regretted it and i it was 22 years ago and it was such a lesson they'll never forget and i said something on late night but it was a little bit like uh when the just a comedian or the guy with the microphone starts picking on someone you're just like they don't have a microphone as well it's not fair you know and it's yeah and it just that land that that was a left a mark that i'll never ever yeah you can't forget you think you've really hurt someone's feelings you it as crazy as it sounds and you're in comedy if you really think you've hurt someone's feelings um unless it's mussolini or stalin oh how did you know you have trouble like i can't sleep you know you wake up and you're just you know wide away it was yeah and the person it gets worse i um i wrote a long note to the person afterwards and i said i I don't know why that came out of my mouth.

59:31And it was because I'd seen them like a couple of days before. Yes, yeah. Near the apartment I was renting in Santa Monica. This is so long ago. And I sent, I wrote a long letter to him, sent him a case of champagne. I don't know. I was young. No one drinks champagne, right? I don't know. And later I read a story about his wife saying that he fell off the wagon back in June. Oh, no. Yeah, no, it was, I didn't, I had no idea. This was before you don't just Google someone. like I didn't know so you mocked him and then your apology was to send him the substance that he had successfully kicked fuck me like I really and then so that's where I got the lesson to never apologize never if you're listening right now your ground don't apologize yeah no no he's fine and wonderful and may I say thriving I will tell you that I have had the same thing just like twice in my career where I said something it just slipped out of my mouth i'm doing a volume business it got back to me that the person's feelings were hurt and it felt like i had been shot and i wrote a letter and sent it to them like i'm so sorry that you you know that means i mean as parents you see i mean no yeah exactly i do that all the time with the kids if you like i if you get down kneel down to their level and say hey when we last night when you wouldn't you know go to bed and you did all the the street art on the wall,

1:00:57I could have handled that better. And I wasn't great. I wasn't good at dadding. And I'll even do the do-over. I'm like, can I try? Can you make some more street art? Fuck. Over there. But on the paper, and I will come in and I'll do it again better. I love that you're asking for a retake. Yeah. Basically, that is what I'm doing. I'm imposing. Let's go again. Who doesn't want a child actor? You're a sociopathic monster. Let's skip showbiz and just enroll you straight into cocaine. Right here. And then go into showbiz with all your injuries, emotional injuries. We have to wrap this up because we've kept you for too long and you're a man in demand.

1:01:37Ryan, you are one of my favorites. I say that at the end of every podcast. I know. I know, but I'm still going to react. Sometimes I'm talking to absolute criminals in jail. And I say you're one of my favorite people. And I believe you're innocent of those 19 murders. which you would confess to. Jay Leno fell.

1:01:56We were all looking for the Hampton Inn. You pushed him down that hill. Who doesn't look for a Hampton Inn when you're a millionaire? Ryan, you are so fast. You were so fast and so funny and making so many people happy and I'm thrilled that we could spend time today and hang out. I've never seen four hours go by as fast as it just did. No, I'm serious. This is one of those things where I could tell in your voice it's time to wrap it up and I got genuinely sad. Because you are an idol of mine. You are somebody who I've watched and, dare I say, at the risk of overpraising, look up to. And always have, always will.

1:02:36Because you're kind, you have integrity, and that doesn't mean it costs you subversive comedy or any of those things. All that edge is there. And it is a high bar you set. You always have. and that's why I did the Jay Leno thing. I just, I fucking snapped. I don't know what you're talking about. I forget everything before 2010. It's all gone. But you didn't forget my wire numbers. You came in islands. Ryan, thank you so much and God bless. I bless you and I am a God. So God bless you. I know you are a deity. Deus? What is that? Isn't there that way they call it? No, deus is the thing you stand behind when you talk.

1:03:19It's co-modified. Hey, at least we stopped the landing going out. That's the important thing. Also, we talked about a lot of Canadians. Thank you for that. I'm saying there's a huge trade imbalance here. Yeah, we're going to work on that. We're going to have a caucus. Is that what we say? We caucus on it? Okay, don't do that. Legislative branches. Your worship in Canada? That's a fun one. You have to say your worship to the judge. Do you have the little honor of Canada yet? Have you had that? I do have it, yeah. Okay. You know who one of the people I think wrote the letter? with Lorne. That's nice.

1:03:47That's a nice man. I think he won't admit to it. All right, sir. Thank you. Go with... Thank you, guys. Thank you all. Go with blessings. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:04:16Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan.

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