Sarah Silverman Returns Again

26:14and then say, those are the, okay, I get it. I understand. So the logs will basically just be Juan Epstein and Juan Epstein's mother. Yes, yes, which was, okay. Disgusting people. Criminals. Are you a conspiracy theorist? I don't know. I mean, the moon landing was fake.

26:38Are you? I don't know. I am not, no. I am one of those people that thinks the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Occam's razor. There you go. I shave with it every day. I didn't even go to college. You don't need to go to college. Yeah, I'm not. I am not. When people say, hey, man, you know what I think happened, man? I'm not in on that ride usually. Yeah, the guy who does my makeup really fell into a whole thing about how the challenger didn't really explode and all those people are still alive. Right. You know, and I, you know, I was in, I was in ninth grade and we watched it because there was a teacher from Concord, the next town over, Christy McCullough.

27:23Yeah, who was killed. Yeah. Yeah. Well, or was she? Where are they? Where does he say they are? They're just living regular lives. Oh. And with different names. Does he ever explain why the people on the Challenger would agree to this? you all have families and stuff but we're going to pretend that you blew up and then you're all going to live in different parts of Cincinnati and what was the reason for faking it? yeah exactly it doesn't I don't know see that's the thing they don't even need a reason they don't even need a reason hey man you're not thinking it through man I'm sorry that's my idea of most conspiracy theorists I'm sorry if you're a conspiracy theorist and you're listening out there I think you're wrong well like conspiracy theorists don't call themselves conspiracy theorists right?

28:06It's like cults don't call themselves cults. I have a friend who I know I feel confident grew up in a cult. And he goes, it's not a cult. I go, you wouldn't know. You're in it. There's no punchline to that. There doesn't have to be until you call it out. And then, you know what I mean? That's just it. We're in it, man. We're talking about it. You know, we're all in the flow. There's no need for there to be a big boom, boom. You know, we're past that. We're in a new, we're in a post-comedy world now. Laughs are for pussy walls. Exactly. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that pussy wall. I'm telling you, Sonya, you're on to a great new routine.

28:48This is a good routine for you. I can't do this routine. This is Sarah's routine. No, no, I'm giving it to you. Yeah, she's giving, she does not want it. Okay. I don't do stand-up. Did anything come up when you searched pussy walls? The only thing I could find, which Eduardo and I, I think, agree. And he was looking for this long before you came in. That's right. I looked at my internet search history. I looked back. And instead of cock blocking, she got pussy walled. Oh, I've heard of that as clam jamming. Oh, clam jamming is probably. Oh, wonderful. The theorem and dictionary said that. Clam jamming?

29:22Yeah. I totally got clam jammed. Oh, my God. Oh, Black Betty. Clam a jam. Yeah. And then. Did you try it as two words or one word? Well, it says two. I think it's incorrect. We don't know. We still don't know. Did you try one word with a Z? So my first thought was it had to have appeared in a rap song somewhere. And sure enough, there's a couple lyrics where it says, like, ripping through the pussy walls. You don't want to do that. Because that feels like we're making a lateral move to the side or something. That doesn't seem right. You know what I mean? It doesn't sound like it feels good. This is the least hot and heavy talk ever about intercourse.

30:08A lateral move. A lateral move near the vaginal wall. Well, I didn't want it to sound... Could lead to tearing. Oh, vaginal wall. Vaginal walls. It's vaginal walls. It's the hymen. Isn't that what that means? I don't think you know anything. Oh, okay. Ripping through the pussy wall is probably the hymen. Right? That makes sense. I don't think of it that way normally, but maybe that's what it is. The hymen is like a little bag of blood that has no purpose, except... It feels more of a gate than a wall. It's more like a... I'm resting my head on the microphone. Have you ever smoked a camel crush before they were out loud in California?

30:48No. You keep talking, and I'm resting my forehead on the microphone. But what is a camel crush, and I'm just going to be listening. It's got a little ball of like menthol poison that you can squeeze and you hear it go. And then it's a menthol cigarette. And I guess I guess what I was saying is that's like a hymen. Oh, boy. Can you Google that? Can we take a nap for the rest of this? I think we need I think that we need to take all the furniture out. We need to have it resurfaced. I mean, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I'm at a loss. I think I started out, if you can believe it, with a compliment from Billy Crystal

31:36about how you turned your memoir, The Bedwetter, into a musical and how he saw it and he thought it was brilliant and to pass on that compliment, now there's exploding hymens, lateral penises. Reagan is yelling at Gorbachev to tear down the pussy wall. vulgar sketches courtesy of a ghost Mark Maron. Your sister has a crazy device. It takes a rear view mirror off a Hyundai and people can examine themselves. And the whole podcast is just, it's over. It's over. It's over. There will never be another podcast after this one. This is the end of Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend. This is now Conan O 'Brien Needs a Job.

32:24You've done this. You did this yourself. Yay. You should. No sound. You should feel good about it. You would think I would be done with vagina humor in my 20s, maybe my 30s, surely by my 40s. But there's just still so much more to explore, you know? There is. There is. And it's you speaking your truth. I'm so sorry. Why don't we talk about your penis and balls? Okay. Let's get into it. I feel like they talk like this. like what? That was my dad trying to do an Irish accent. Oh my God. Haunted, it's your penis and balls. Penis and balls. Oh my God. It's your penis and balls. I think I've anthropomorphized my genitalia before on this show and it's always just kind of petulant and whiny.

33:15Yeah. I don't wanna. It's always flipping through like the New Yorker. I'm trying to get it interested in, you know, doing something. I don't want to. I see it more of that. It's recalcitrant. There's a word that's a good word. Yeah, it's just kind of fussy and flipping through the New Yorker and looking over its little shoulder, which I guess would be a scrotie. I want to apologize. I promised one grade school that we would donate an episode. And in advance, I said it was this episode. I just did it numerically. I didn't know it was going to be Sarah Silverman. I said it was episode 3252. So this is being live streamed to the Michael Driscoll School, which is a K-8 school in Brookline, Massachusetts.

34:07You can be anything you want to be. Yeah. Yeah. Today's word is scrotide. Let's not, you know. Let's elevate this. Well, or. Take it further. Or. Or. So let's not stigmatize words that mean, you know, there are genitals. Exactly. I mean, what's the problem? I don't see a problem. I really don't. What? You don't even need to say words anymore. To do Seinfeld.

34:48He's held hostage and he had tape over his mouth and he'd still be like. Oh, God. I'm just an impressionist. Seinfeld. Seinfeld being held hostage. Ho-ho, hey-ho. Ho-ho, hey-ho.

35:06He wants to know who kidnapped him. He's got duct tape all over it. Ho-ho, hey-ho. Ho-ho, hey-ho. It's a simple question Jerry has. It's a very reasonable. He wants to know the identity of the people. They wore masks, of course, to get the ransom. Somebody must have done an impression of him, like, once he has dementia. Yes. No, it's who are these people? Seriously? And who the fuck am I? And where am I? I'm frightened for my life. That has, like, undertones of Mr. Howell. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It does. Just to keep it on the 70s. Another sitcom, yeah. Well, that's 60s. Sorry. It is? Yeah. Gilligan's Island?

35:57Yeah. Sorry. I think probably, I'm just going to guess. Again, these are things I know from Nick at night. Maybe 68. I don't know. Well, anyway, a little sip of water now.

36:09Now, my brother Neil would know exactly the air dates for Gilligan's Island, so I could always consult him. Wow. I swear to God, if I called him up right now, he would tell me exactly. and say, oh yeah, the original air date was September 3rd, 1964. And then it went off. Yeah. It was September 26th, 1964. Is it? I just made up a date. Oh my gosh. Oh wait. I think what we're revealing here is that I don't have a brother Neil. Neil doesn't exist. Neil doesn't exist. And I just use Neil as an excuse for my insane knowledge of 60s television. Is Neil in the room with us right now? Yeah. I am. It's like the end of Spartacus.

36:41I am Neil. I am Neil. I am Neil. Yeah. But Neil still doesn't know anything about vaginas. Okay. let's just say Conan doesn't know anything about vaginas that's the podcast the new podcast the new podcast should be Conan doesn't know anything about vaginas right but then think of the guests we'd get who'd come in here and explain things to me be fantastic what a great show okay I've been looking for the picture in my phone of your mouth that I used as my vagina that's right I've actually been tasked with finding it I think we should explain that for any you should explain it for any listener who doesn't know the story behind it.

37:19What story behind it? Just kidding. Yes, and not an improviser. Just going to rest my head on this microphone. I'm determined to conduct a serious interview with you. Okay. And you guys are welcome to jump in at any time and help out, but I'm going to forge on, which is... Let's get quiet. Let's get really quiet here. You wrote a memoir in 2010, and then you decided... That's what I'm plugging here today. It needs to be a musical. Oh, yes. Where did that leap come from? Actually, Adam Schlesinger, may he rest in peace, came over my apartment and was like, this book's a musical. I read the chapter titles.

38:03He's like, that's a song, you know, whatever. And then I was like, all right, we made it. Had you experienced writing songs before? Yeah, I had a show on Comedy Central that was a musical, and my first special had music in it. But I didn't know that you wrote. I didn't realize you wrote all the songs. Yeah. No, I didn't write all the songs in the Sarah Silverman program. I wrote some of them and co-wrote some of them. But in my special, Jesus is Magic, which I'm guessing doesn't hold up because I say a lot of things that I wouldn't say today, I'd get in a lot of trouble and have. but yeah I wrote this oh god oh my god are you still on my mouth you alright can you still on my mouth I just wanted to see if I could do ventriloquism guess what you can't it's very clear you also have to throw your voice to be a ventriloquist it's just not about

39:08well also articulating but you also have to throw your voice, I believe. Gee, gee, Conan. Yeah, no, I can't do that. Well, if the doll has had a stroke and that's its backstory, then it's okay. Hey, buddy, how are you? Oh, no, it's terrible what happened to you. Oh, it's okay, I'm slowly getting better. What's your intense therapy? Well, you still don't sound great. Oh, it's a long process, I'm getting better. That's what I would do if I had to be a ventriloquist. I'd make sure the doll had a terrible cerebral event. That's what I would call it. Impressive, huh? Yes. Okay. You did it. You got us back on track.

39:48I'm doing what I can. I'm doing what I can. But anyway, I hear great things about this musical. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. And he saw it because I saw his musical, Mr. Saturday Night, which was really great. And the woman who played the incredible Broadway star who played his daughter plays my mother, Beth Ann. That is Shoshana Bean and she's incredible. And so he came to see it because they, yeah. Now are you nervous if you know that someone of that caliber is in the audience? I don't like to know that people are in the crowd. I don't want to, like if I'm performing, no, I don't want to know. I actually took a chance.

40:30Did I tell you this? But I remember, do you know Todd Glass? Yes. So funny. So, so funny. But I worry that he can get in his head. So it was years ago and he was about to go on at Largo. And I knew he had like some big wigs coming to see him. And I took a chance. And right before he went on, I said, I feel like I should tell you they didn't show up. But they had. But I felt like if he thought that they didn't show up. He'll be more relaxed. Yeah. He'll just be fucking and be super relaxed. And he was. And then when he got off, I go, I lied. They're here. and he was so happy. But it could have gone really bad, of course.

41:08But I took a chance. What if he had gone out and just bad mouthy exactly? Fuck them for not coming. Yeah, fuck them. I don't need them anyway. They're just a bunch of empty suits. It was impulsive. My heart was pounding, but I felt like it was the right thing to do and it ended up being good. And now he's a big star. I think you did the right thing. You took a chance. He is the funniest. The second funniest. Third funniest. Fourth funniest. That's the seventh funniest person who's not in this room right now. Let's take it down. Let's take it down to you have a new stand-up special. Oh, yeah. Yes.

41:44And I'm going to bring it up because you've clearly forgotten, but it's called Postmortem. Yeah. Now, how long did it take you to put this together, this set? It was definitely the fastest hour I've put together because of the events that it's about. my parents, you can't relate to this, but died very closely together. Yeah. What's that like? They died nine days apart. And we moved in and like dueled them through death at home. And so it's, it just, and it happened when my last special came out. I've only done, I think this is my fifth special. And my last special before that was my fourth special.

42:27Ow! I'm sorry. This is a terrible right turn, but maybe I don't know what's going on, but my elbow, if I even touch it to a surface. It hurts? Excruciating pain. It's like nerve ending or something. Does this sound familiar? Yes. Really? Yeah, that's happened to me. What is it? It's like something is weird and then when you touch it the wrong way, it's very painful. But then it just kind of self-corrects itself. My boyfriend goes, you should call the doctor. I go, no, because in three days it will be gone and I'll just have never known what it was. Anyway, what was I saying? My parents died. Sorry, go on.

43:07What was I talking about? Oh, yes. The two most important people in the world to me passed away within nine days of each other. Yeah. So you win. I'm very competitive about these things. My parents went within three days of each other. But... Oh, yeah. So as we're taking care of them, my last special came out. And so when I went back to doing stand-up, I was starting completely over. And of course, all I had to talk about was that experience. And it developed faster than usual. Yeah, because those are such strong feelings. You go out there. It's fresh. You're talking about it. Would you workshop this at the aforementioned Largo?

43:48Is that where you would go? Of course. Of course. Largo's, well, we did many. we did podcasts from Largo, I believe. Did we? Or did we just do? No, we did. You know, we did. We did late night shows. During COVID, we did the late night shows. Why are you talking about this like it was in 1987? It just happened. It was all during the pandemic. COVID feels like a long time ago to me. It does. It actually does. Now people talk about it and it feels like, oh yeah, COVID. Anyway, Largo, terrific space. And every time I'm there, I was there recently doing a bunch of - Oh my God, you were amazing. at the Oscars.

44:23Oh, this is the point of this podcast. Thank you. You are amazing. But I worked out stuff for the Oscars at Largo and your picture is everywhere backstage. Plus, there's a big pillow of your face backstage which you donated. Yeah. It's very nice. That's a great space to be. There's not pictures of me everywhere. Yes, there are. But there's a couple pictures. There's a lot of pictures of you. I think you just bring pictures every time you go. No, I don't. You hang them up when no one's looking. There is a pillow with my face on it back there. as my friend Mark Cohen crocheted it. And then he gave it to me and I lived in a tiny apartment and I was having lunch with Flanagan and I was like, I love him so much, but I can't have a pillow with my face on it in my living room.

45:04I was like, it's embarrassing. What is your problem? I can have. He goes, bring it over here. Bring it over here. Wait a minute. My penis suggested? Yeah. Bring it over here. So you did this hour. Do you think, this is a question that I get a lot, that one of your parents was aware that the other had passed? Because most people that find out that your parents went at the same time or almost the same time think that it's not coincidental, that one person knows that the other has passed and decides to also join them. Well, no, my dad knew that my stepmother, my stepmother had died. She had cancer.

45:42It was terrible. She loved life. Blah, not blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry. Not blah, blah, blah at all. But you know what I mean? How was your eulogy, by the way? She laughed like blah, blah, blah. She was so wonderful. And they were in bed together holding hands. So she was, he was, he was, they were holding hands and she had passed away. And my sister had texted me because I had gone home to sleep for the night. And she said, Janice has passed away. And dad is, is, would normally be awake by now. But I think he, in his bones, he knows and he doesn't. but yeah he well he lived another week and and people came to visit him and stuff and and he so he knew and and he even um he was so funny in his final days like he um jeff ross came over he was very close to my parents roast master jeff roast master general not your uh executive producer for my name though that would be yeah and um jeff would not go by if your dad was on his way out yeah what's the point why would i go there's no soup there um i got food i don't think i'll go he'd be he'd be talking to your dad as he was as he was dying while texting but anyway so uh but so roast master jeffrey master general yeah and he first of all he came and i odd shockingly have this on video so i talk about the thing and then you see it at the end you know like in the credits i put a bunch of like videos and pictures like you know when you see a biography or something and then you see that like the real people.

47:18I like that. Anyway, Jeff walked in and he said, everyone called my dad Schleppi. Schleppi, I got bad news. I don't think you can be my emergency contact anymore. My dad was laughing. And then Jeff had introduced my parents to this magician named Bernie Shine, who's closer to their age, and they all became good friends. And about six months earlier, they had all gone to see Bernie do magic, you know. so Jeff is sitting with my dad and he goes do you want me to FaceTime Bernie so you could say goodbye and my dad said okay and because my dad wanted to go he probably could have gotten better but he was like no I'm good I want to he really just wanted to be with his Janice so Jeff calls him and he holds up you know the camera and and Bernie gets on and he goes Donald I'm so my you goes, Bernie, your show was so bad it killed Janice.

48:17God bless him. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. And then he goes, and I'm not feeling so hot either. He knew it was going to go. Oh, my God. That would be, I hope. I mean, I hope I'm able or in condition. Whenever my time comes, I hope I can be nice to be funny on the way out, wouldn't it? you're gonna be funny I don't know how you stop yourself from it but I really want to do long involved bits that take a long time that interfere with my medical care you're gonna lie in bed like I'm funny still right am I funny? how was that last one? Liza it's funny right? Mr. O 'Brien you'd live if you could just take this pill but we can't get it in your mouth because it keeps moving but right But like, it's still funny, right?

49:09Like what I'm doing is funny. I'm telling you, what you have is not that bad. You just need this antibiotic right now if you just sit still. He's dead. He wouldn't stop. Come on. You love it here. You love hanging with us. We're the best. I do love it here. What's better than hanging with us? How are we doing that time? No, I'm just kidding. No, we've... That was a real Kevin Nealon... My favorite Kevin Nealonism of all time was when he was on the talk show once. And I've mentioned this, but I don't care. He's on the talk show and he's doing really well. Everything's going great. And then there's a brief pause where neither one of us are talking and Kevin just says, where is our waiter?

49:49That just kills me. And I've seen that clip is out there. I think he's like the most underrated. Although people do love him. I mean, his episodes on this show consistently. so he is acknowledged people know how funny he's the funniest i always tell uh i tell kevin all the time i'm telling you you're the funniest and people know it yeah it's out there it's out there oh okay so that's the that's the line it's on the dark web everybody knows no he's so fucking he's so funny and i love his jokes you know his joke where he goes this is what bothers me about like the generation after you know like that were of comics who are like that's so hacky talking about airplanes talking about rental cars difference between New York or LA that's because comics used to have to be on the road and they still do you know yeah and that was their lives and that's what they're talking about it's not just hackneyed because like you heard someone tell you that stuff is hackneyed nothing is if it's funny like there's no topic that's you can't talk about.

50:56Anyway, this isn't part of his joke, but he has a joke about being on an airplane. He goes, you know, I was on an airplane, you know, and I don't think that the pilot was very experienced. You know, he got on and he goes, oh, thank you for flying with us. We'll be taking off in roughly five to ten. Whoa, whoa, here we go.

51:17And then he comes back on ten minutes later. Oh, where is the oh, here it is.

51:29and he used to do impressions that I don't think not on in on in his professional love but he would always do impressions of the Beatles talking about does this ring a bell no I'm not gonna do it right you just have to have him do it when he's here but it's like I remember it was like I was fucking John and the asshole and I pulled down and came on his face and that's when we wrote I will that's like an easy version but he's like a real like an almost aristocrats version yes the beatles talking about how they wrote songs i've never heard him go blue i think that's why it's just only for you know at home words you just sold him out as being incredibly uh yeah i i adore him i adore that man we both do he's not here but um i mean he's not dead he is to me our thing is we don't look each other in the eye we just will never be you know i won't take down my wall he won't take down his there's there's there's the way see it all comes around this year around oh wait no okay i'm stopping it here uh pussy here the show is postmortem it's streaming on netflix um yeah and uh i but it's not sad I mean it's got sad moments but it is it's a comedy special it's a comedy hour it's a comedy special I don't think I I just all I did was say the title and you went it's not sad I said the title you have that title that's the title you came up with it's about my parents dying but I am pointing out that it is you know just the funny parts a good comic can take any any any event tragedy plus less than a year equals comedy

53:21thank you so much for being here we've said it all we said it all like Bogey and Bacall I treasure our friendship I do too and I'm happy whenever you're coming by and I think I learned a lot about female anatomy today and male anatomy and that Kevin Nealon's really blue disgusting comedian when I'm not around he never does that stuff for me only for you sad now but Sarah thank you for being here he can also fart on command anyway thanks bye

54:01okay let's do some review the reviewers this is where we kind of read through some of the Apple podcast reviews and we can review or answer or comment on anything they say they're all five stars right yes this is from Deborah P-D-X, okay? Called Conan the Bacterium. I love you guys so much. Have you heard about Conan the Bacterium? This is a real bacterium that can survive radiation. Check out the recent episode of Shortwave. Here's a quote from the episode. It sounds like it's describing all three of you. Oh my God, he recalls thinking, there's something new that forms when you put the pieces together, which makes it better than one or the other.

54:39It's the combination in which they interact with each other. In other words, the interaction between the three components is greater than the sum of its parts. Aw. That's Conan the Bacterium. But I don't understand. They say the bacteria is hard to defeat because it's got three components? They just said it can survive radiation. So, huh. Good question. What if that's what you're named after? Because your dad's a microbiologist. What if he was like, oh, Conan the Bacterium, and then you were born, and then you were like, oh, God, let's name this one Conan. That's a really mean thing to say. That's not how I was named Conan.

55:13Okay. My dad went to the, I was unnamed for a little while. For how long? I was born, I don't think that long, but they were, you know, they want the name right away. And my dad said he wanted to go to the medical school library and look, he didn't have the name yet. And he looked up names. He thought it should be interesting. And my dad had very specific ideas about how a first name should work with a last name. And because the last name is O 'Brien, he thought it should end with, it should elide well with the last name. Yeah, he's right. He's right. And he also wanted something that was simple.

55:48He hated nicknames. So his name was Thomas and everyone called him Tom and he didn't like that. So he wanted a name that wouldn't be broken down into a nickname. He had all these rules. And so Luke, Neil, Conan. But where did he find Conan? He looked up and I think it's, you know, one of the early religious figure. I don't know if it was a cardinal who was in Ireland and actually there's a very famous thing called the Bayou Tapestry, which is this like cartoon that describes the battle in 1066 and all the things that happened when England was invaded by the Normans. And there's one panel that shows a guy fleeing and underneath his name, he's a cowardly person.

56:31It says C-O-N-A-N. And then the next panel is Conan surrendering the keys to the city and he has the keys on a long pole. like he's so afraid he just wants doesn't even want to touch the bad guys he's just handing them the keys on a long pole oh my god it's one panel and then the next and my parents um years ago went to the gift shop where the Bayou Tapestry is held and you can you can look up the different panels and they bought the two panels and gave them to me aw Conan fleeing the battle and then Conan handing over the keys and um it's hilarious so I'm named for this guy I was gonna say so they saw this No, no, no.

57:09That's not why he named me that. He just, he found that later on and thought it was really funny. He gave me that name because he saw it somewhere. He thought it was really, didn't know anything about Conan the Barbarian, nothing. It's cool. Yeah. Conan is a really cool, it's just because all your other siblings have like pretty traditional names. Yeah. And then you're not traditional. It's like, you know, there's that story, that song by Johnny Cash, Boy Named Sue. Yeah. Where a guy names his son Sue and he gets beat up all the time, but it makes him stronger. And then at the end, he goes to his dad and says, why'd you call me Sue?

57:43And he's just like, because it made you a tougher guy. I was, you know, Conan was a little like that at times growing up. Did it make you tougher? Oh God. Well, clearly you've seen him. I'm a pretty rough and tumble fellow. Very much like the tapestry version of Conan. I was going to say, how many keys have you handed over? It can go one of two ways. Let's just say it can either make you tougher or it makes you immediately surrender in the Battle of Hastings. The first time I met you, you just handed me your car keys. I'm sorry, on a pole. I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. So who were you named after?

58:20Your grandma, is that right? My grandma, yeah. Well, you know, I go by my middle name. Tallinn is just like a, I think it was just like a nice Armenian name, but then they just called me Sona. Does Sona have a meaning? Well, she was Greek, but the name itself in Hindi means gold. That's cool. But I don't know if there's a Greek meaning to it. I don't know. I have no idea. Yeah. You haven't given it much thought. Matthew, are you named after anybody? My namesake really belies me because it's really cool and it just doesn't fit for me. I was named after Marshall Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke. You're kidding.

58:54What? I know. What a cool person to be named after. I was almost named Festus. And that's really funny if you watch that TV show. my grandmother who died the week i was born loved that show and loved him so she kind of i think to honor her they they named me after him i thought it was biblical that's cool i know my name after a tv show from the 60s 70s is hilarious yeah that's awesome i know my name is very biblical matthew james but my dad's name is james none of it's biblical it's yeah interesting very interesting can i point out that it says in latin sona means can be heard No way! That's so funny.

59:32Try not hearing her. Okay. I'm sorry. That is so cool. I can't believe I never thought to, like, Google that. Do you know what Matthew means? What? Gift of God. It is a child? Boo. You didn't get everything right, God. I'm going to re-gift this one, God. You've got a factory irregular. What am I doing? What, is this a white elephant? I'm jerking off the thing, I'm doing the jerk off motion, but like no one can see it. Can I say something? When you do the jerk off motion, you always have the penis way off to the side. I know. And it's coming out at a weird angle. It's like you're around the corner.

1:00:10Yeah. A what? And also - No, it's not salad dressing. Yeah, it's not salad dressing and it's not castanets. Oh my God. Oh, now you're a pepier. Ooh. Grind that out. Oh my God. All right, well, don't look at the video for this. You won't like it. No, I know, don't do it. I'm worried for your husband. Hey, thank you. No wonder Tack has always doubled over in pain. Surprise. That's not how it's done. Is that not how it's done? You don't punch it? Sona got all hot and heavy last night. It's also not just one of those. It's all of those. He's got to go through all of them. I'm like, stop it. Stop it.

1:00:47Oh my God. Now he's at Benihana. Pizza. Now he's at Benihana. Oh my God. Blink, blink, blink, blink. Oh, he made the onion volcano. Okay. Okay. Let's wrap this up. Thanks, you fan. We took your kind of interesting scientific fact and we got to Benny Hanashev chopping up with blades, tacks, penis. Tackle. All right, peace out, Tupac. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:01:34Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan.

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