Singapore Sona

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, Let's get started. Hi, Dee. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi. That's me. Hi, Dee. How are you, Dee? It is you. Really good, Conan. Look at you. Wow. Look at me. You've got a little beard going on. Look at you. Yeah, I just, I took a little break from shaving and I'm starting to look like the Groton Fisherman. Oh, wait. That's a reference that no one's going to get. Groton. Dee, where are you calling us from? Wow, I'm from Singapore. so that's what's happening six in the morning here I'm up and early for you guys I've never been to Singapore tell me well you should, absolutely tell me a little bit about yourself what do you do, how's your life going lay it on me firstly, this feels like a fever dream so I'm just going to need to settle in a bit because wow, look at you guys you guys look beautiful all of you are beautiful you're very stunning Yeah, you're the beautiful one.

1:11Yeah, yeah. We feel terrible compared to you. Well, Sona, stop. Sona's beautiful. Sona's beautiful. Take my hair a little bit. It's not a big deal. Sona's a very attractive woman. Just a couple hot girls, you and me. And then there's me and Gourley. Hey, don't take me down with you. A bunch of creeps. Dee, tell us about your life. What's happening? Well, what is happening? Hmm, let's see. What do you do? What do you do? I work at a hair salon. So I do a lot of hair stuff. Okay. Yeah. Are you actually a hair stylist? No, I'm not though. I wish I was, but I think there's a lot of ladders to climb for that.

1:54Eventually, maybe I will. Well, wait, what do you do at the hair salon? What do I do? I do like reception. Oh, okay. Yeah, I manage things, make sure nothing's on fire. Okay, for a second there, I thought you didn't have a job there. You just hung around. Yeah. Honestly, oftentimes I do. Oftentimes I do. I'm just there. I'm just, guys, if you need me, I'm here. But, yeah, I get to, like, wash people's hair every now and then. I get to pop some color on every now and then. Yeah. What? Okay, that's, now we're talking because this fascinates me. You wash men and women's hair, right? Yes. Yes, mostly women.

2:36men and there's a couple of them who pop in every now and then which is strange to me like you know when men don't go to like a barbershop and they come to like a hairdressers yeah it's a weird one it's a strange one and then they're there and i'm like why are you here like this is a very women-friendly cozy space and you're just coming in with your men yeah yeah i don't have to wash it you know d i have a theory that uh maybe some of these men would just like their hair washed by a beautiful woman is that possible honestly yes because like i mean we're all women working as well we're all women so it's like i think they just come in to like have a look at us which is fine yeah i'm okay with that but it's just strange when you have to wash the hair because they're just there and you get your hands in the greasy hair and i don't know it's just strange because they don't move right i don't know if you guys can relate they don't what they don't like move fright like what do you mean you gotta like tilt your head a little yeah oh i get that i know when i've had my hair washed at a salon i i don't know what they want so i try to uh anticipate it and then it just ends up no that's the worst thing you could do well it's not that bad i tell you here's what i do in that same idea d what i do you know when you have to register your face on an iPhone, you know, for facial recognition.

4:00I always just, when my hair is being washed, I think it helps. I move it constantly. Oh my God, that's eerie. So they can anticipate it and then I go counterclockwise. And sometimes I do it very rapidly. Absolutely what everyone does. And it drives me insane. I'm like, you can't. I'm just going to end up waterboarding you. So you got to see that. Just listen to instructions. Get an email. you know? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So, so you work at this. It's a day in my life, I guess. Okay. And tell us, how's your, how's your life going? Tell me about your life. Are things on the up and up? Oh, Conan.

4:37I want to help you. You're hitting me with the deep questions here at six in the morning. Let's see. Hmm. What is going on? What do I need help with? I love every question. She turns back to you with a question. You want to know how it's going for me? I'm in terrible trouble. I'm trapped in a room with people that don't respect me. You know, yeah. I, you know, aging out of a career. I mean, what am I going to tell you? You know, it's over for me. I'm at the very end of my life. Yeah. It's okay. Oh, no. No one was saying it. So I felt like I had to. No, no, no, no. Because you were hoping someone would say it.

5:14Life expectancy in my family. I think I have six months to go. But that's, it's fine. I've had a good ride. So that's what's happening with me. That's how I feel, though. Like, I feel the same way. What are you talking about? You're a beautiful young woman. How old are you? You're the opposite of him. How old are you? Nah. I mean, I'm 27, but you know. You're 27? Oh yeah, you're done. Yeah. No, I mean, you have another. It feels just like it. Please, Dee, you have at least two years to go. I know. I thought that two years ago, but here we are. Do you have any bucket list items? Yeah. What do you want to do?

5:51You're young. You're very attractive. You've got your whole life ahead of you, but what are the things that you'd like to do? What do you dream of doing that would put some zest into your life? Let's see. I don't know. Maybe do something like bungee jump. Why not? That could be fun. Well, I have a good why not. Let's put that on there, yeah. Yeah, if the cord's too long, you hit the canyon floor. Well, I think they would have sorted that out. Yeah, they figured that out before you do it. I think they, in some places, they use the first four people to sort it out. Yeah. Yeah. True fact. I think they just send you off and then they've crossed their fingers.

6:31Yeah. Yeah. And then they, okay, that one's dead. Let's cut six feet off the rope. You know, let's try it again. Okay. That one dead too. Another, a few more. It's like cutting hair. You always want to leave it a little long to see if it's okay. And then you cut from there. Absolutely. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. That's precisely how it works. Yeah, it makes sense, but yeah. You know what, Dee, I like you because no matter what stupid thing I say, you're right there to say yes, of course, which is really nice. I'm on the same wavelength, we're good. Can I ask you, and if I'm, it's just too personal, you can say back off, but how's your romantic life going?

7:10Oh, back off, Conan. I'm in you. I, you know, I feel like I'm asking in a fatherly, you know, uncle way. Yeah. Uncle Conan. All right. So grab your tea. Hmm. Nothing much is going on. There's things that go on. You know when you're 27? Yeah. No, I don't. I don't know. Yeah. Nothing happened when I was 27. Yeah. No. It was a quiet, quiet time in my life. Of course, it was the late 1950s. We were all worried about Sputnik. But that's not the point. Yeah. Oh, I've got Gourley now. You too. don't stop keep going yeah go to Spud Big Talk let's do more of that so I mean what's the dating scene like in Singapore there's not much of a scene I would say well there is but not one that I don't know goes well with me so I don't know it's like there's things happening here and there I just you know I don't really like to put my finger on it and be like oh that's the one for me or there's things happening Conan things are looking good though so that's a constant note for that oh so you got something brewing is there some potential person out there of interest possibly yes but you might jeopardize it I'm not going to jeopardize anything I just want to know who this person is she can't talk about it because then he's going to hear it and he's going to be like wait a minute this is moving too fast for me because I've been there yes I know Unless he really is into her and is like, like is bolstered by this and then suddenly decides to make more reciprocation because he feels confident.

8:56That's what ladies like is more reciprocation. What do you mean? That thing's, I've seen that on a little candy heart. I would like to reciprocate with you. So you don't want to talk specifically about this person. Yeah, you don't want to like sabotage it, you know, in any way. When are you seeing him again? Maybe, maybe. I don't know. Let's go. Let it go. Get involved. Just tell us his name. Yeah. No, guys. I'm with you, Dee. I'm going to try to comment down over here. No, I need to get involved. I need to meet this guy. Yeah. Because, Dee, we care about you. We have a bond with you. And I don't want just some anybody coming along.

9:40Right. You know, some, you know, Johnny Singapore. Well, that's his name. Is it Johnny Singapore? I hate that guy. I know, this is why she didn't want to say anything. He does his hit and quit it. Reciprocate. Yeah. If his name's Johnny Singapore, call it off now. Do you understand? Got it, got it, got it, Uncle Conan, yeah. Dee, tell us, do your parents get involved in this stuff? Oh, no, not at all. No, not at all. I'm very private, I like to say, except I just said this on the podcast. so. Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't, I mean, first of all. Yeah, like, no one's gonna see this anyway, so it's fine.

10:22Okay. That was, oh, gee. You just crossed a line, D. Into totally my truth. Okay, obviously, obviously, no one's gonna see it, and like, three other people I know. I like D. I do like D. And I'm sure you're by the fence. D, you would work, you would fit right into my organization. Yes, yeah. Yeah, we would be best friends. You're like Singapore Sona. That's my favorite cocktail. You are the Singapore Sona. If we can just keep you away from Singapore Johnny, we're okay. Yeah.

11:02Is there a Singapore version of me? Are there guys like me in Singapore? I wish, Conan. I wish. I've always thought that. If that was a Conan out there for me, I'll be done. I'll be saddled. Oh, wow. That's very flattering. Well, I want to tell all the ladies out there, no matter where you live in the world, there's a Conan out there for you. What a curse. It has to be, though. So get a double bolt for your door. Set off the streets until they catch him. Tell your children about the dangers of a Conan in your neighborhood. Is there a Conan in your neighborhood? Stay low. I think. Yeah, the whole campaign, if you see something, say something.

11:44Start it with if there's a Conan on your subway. Teach your children how to spot a Conan. Is he 6 '4"? Red beady eyes. Like the communist. Does his hair look like a tort that would be served at a French reception? Tree blowing in the wind or Conan? Be sure you know the difference. Wow. Man, you're a lot of fun, D. I hope this guy, listen, here's my advice to you. You have to make sure that you have high standards because you're a special person. You have to have high standards. And be honest, Sona, I do tell this to the women that work for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've always have that you cannot settle.

12:32You can't say, okay, good enough. You have to hold out for this special. Well, then why are they working for you? Oh, I say professionally. you have to settle. Professionally, you have to settle. You have to settle. I'm talking only about romantically. I see. Romantically, don't settle. I see. But if you get a chance to work for sort of a shitty podcast operation, grab it. Let's go. Yeah, I think that's really good. Don't settle. And I like, I like your free spirit. I like your free spirit and your optimism. Do you have, do you know what you want to do with yourself? Do you think there's a future for you working in this hair salon business or do you want to do something else completely?

13:10Um, yeah, I think I can see myself growing in this industry. We'll see though. Cause I don't know. I like to, I tend to do different things at, you know, after a while. So I've been doing this for like two years now and now I want to do something else maybe. Who knows? No, at your age, I liked to, I'm two years was about the maximum that seriously, I'm not joking. When I was in my twenties, if I did something for more than two years, it felt like an eternity. I just wanted to move on to the next thing exactly no stress right I'm only 27 right no stress no pressure I think you're feeling some stress I'm getting old or anything you're not get over that right now you're talking like someone next time you see me I'll be like 52 I'll be long dead yeah I'll know you won yeah you might Yeah.

14:10Someone said you're a fan of my style, my clothing style. Is that true? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You had a question about his fashion sense. Yeah, you had a question for me, right? Yeah. No, basically, I was just thinking, what happened to your leather jacket, the one that you used to wear all the time? Like, that was you at your peak, I would think. Oh, where is he? Should you bring him up every now and then? Well, it's a she, first of all. Oh, okay. Her name is Enid. and no I did have one leather jacket that I wore in so many different remotes and then I think after Kevin Hart and Ice Cube just were mocking me so much for my clothing style yeah that I they said I looked like a male prostitute no they did and they said we'd make a lot of money off of you we're gonna put you out on this street Oh, Conan Did that hurt your feelings?

15:06No, I found it very erotic And it's another money It's another revenue source It's kind of a compliment I think it is Absolutely I still wear I have a weakness for leather coats Especially old ones I think the one you're talking about Is from the late 1940s or the 1950s I love those jackets the problem is any jacket that was made the ones I love are like 40 years old they're real sort of antiques the arms are always too short the arms are always too short because people there was nobody like me until they had proper nutrition so whenever I see a jacket I really love in some cool store that is from the 40s or the 50s I put it on and it's all beat up and cool and the sleeves come to about here.

16:06Yeah, that's true. So it's hard for me to find those, but I will, I'm gonna, you know, just because you said so, I'm gonna start wearing it more often again. You should, put it on the podcast, you know, just bring her out every now and then. You know, I'm sure the fans would love to see. Why not? Yeah. You've got such a, doesn't Dee have, yeah, she's got it style. She's got it. You know, I have to say, I don't pretty much, I would do anything D told me to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just dangerous. It is very dangerous. Like, I don't care what it is. If D said, come on, Conan, just get on the motorcycle and drive over the flaming barrel.

16:44D, then now's your chance. Ask him, get him to do something, you know? Exactly. Could you just do a backslip now? I don't know. Why not? You know, I think if you say I can do it, D, I can do it. Do it. No, don't do it, actually. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. His bones are a bit fragile. That's just. Take care of you. You're fine. What if I get three really strong men to just rotate my body slowly and then set me down and then immediately take me for a nap? We're going to have to look outside the building for that. Yeah. I'll find it. Dee, it's really nice talking to you. You've got. Yeah. You're very cool and you're.

17:26And you guys are too. No, you really are. You're really self-possessed and you are beautiful and very young and everything's looking your way. But don't forget what I said. Do not settle. You need a really special. Thank you. You need a really special guy. It's got to be someone really special. And they've got to clear. They've got to get my approval. Yeah. Whoever it is. You need to be your wingman. Got it. I'll be your wingman. Yeah. You should come out to Singapore sometime. Take a walk. What would you do? What would you take Conan to do? Yeah, what would we do if I came and visited you in Singapore?

18:01Oof, I don't know. We're going to take lots of walks. We're going to walk a lot. I mean, I wish I could tell you there's beautiful things to see, but really, it's just skyscrapers. It's sunny. It's really sunny. That's not going to be good for you. It's really hot. It's the tropics, right? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't come then, because it's really hot. You can get flipping hot. Dee, you spoke for like 30 seconds and went from you've got to come to you really shouldn't come. Maybe not the tourism board for you. If there's a really expensive restaurant you've always wanted to go to, you can have him take you there.

18:40What are you talking about? Or, you know, if there's like a nice shop you've always wanted to shop in, you could take him there. And I'd be like, oh, I really like this jacket. Whoops, I wish someone got it for me. Yes. Yes. And I'd be next to you going, yeah, I wish someone would. Well, anyway, let's go find an international house of panties. Yeah. It's Singapore. It's international. It's international. Come on. So nice. Legally, the UN says they have to exist in every country. Yeah. Well, Dee, I will make it there someday. I will. And I'll find you. You should. Bring back your travel stuff, mate.

19:18Like, you need to do that again. Okay. It's my word. I mean, I'm telling you what to do. What am I? Who am I? No, no, you're, listen, Dee, you are very persuasive and very cool and everything you say, I really do feel like, yep, Dee's right. I got to get that leather jacket. I got to get back on the road. It's time to go, go, go. Yeah, we got to stop a little. That is 2023, baby. Let's go. Oh, wow. All right. Turned into Austin Powers there for a second. Much more attractive than Austin Powers. Hey, Dee, thank you so much. It was really cool talking to you. Thank you. have a great day tell those creeps that are hanging around the salon that we know what they're up to that I'm on to them that's another thing I could do I could come there and I could hang out the salon and anytime a guy comes in I will toss that guy right on his ass yeah anytime a Johnny Singapore comes up they have to get through you they have to get past or you could give them the shampoo and then they'll be like we're never coming back here that would be on stop you know they come to you and say oh D, I'd love it if you shampooed my hair and you'd say, oh, I'm not available today and you step aside and I'm there.

20:27And I'm like, hello, fellows. Light up and I'll give you a nice shampoo. But it's gonna be the I Live Lucy paradox where they go, okay. Yeah, that's true. We gotta avoid that. Hey D, thank you so much. Have an amazing day. Thank you again. Nice talking to you. You guys are great. Bye. Bye. Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Joanna Soloteroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.

21:10Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

21:30This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.