Sir Patrick Stewart

23:27And you will have a flat to live in. And your wife, if she feels like it, we could give her a job as well. She could work in the hotel, and you would live there with your children. And my father was very pleased about it. It sounded perfect, and it would have been perfect for him. But my mother refused to leave her hometown, which she had never left ever before. She had lived in this small little community in the West Riding of Yorkshire and said, no, I will not go to London. I will not. Now, I've often thought my father could have said, that's fine. You stay here. I will go to London, and I will send you money through the post, and you can come down and stay.

24:07But he didn't. He stayed. And that was the beginning of the end for much of his life as he was concerned. He was a weekend alcoholic. Monday through Friday, nothing. Rigid about that. And of course, the first five years of my life were bliss. My mother and I, I had a cot next to her bed. And when the side was let down, I could roll out of the cot straight into her bed, which I did often. And we would cuddle all night long. And then 1945. Yeah. It's very Oedipal. It's like suddenly who's this guy? That's very primal stuff. You talk about how, when you grow up in this situation, you often don't have, people would assume, well, a young Sir Patrick Stewart would have big dreams.

24:53You didn't initially, you thought, oh, I guess I'll be a lorry driver, a truck driver. because you think you look at your world and you think this is what's possible. And then what changed? What happened was a man called Cecil Dormand. He was my English teacher in my secondary modern school because I was totally not academic. In fact, I was never tested, but I went into secondary modern school. And in my second year, the English master, Cecil Dormand. clearly. I did something, read something in a class, and I saw him pay attention. And he was the first person to put a copy of Shakespeare into my hand.

25:36I never held a copy of Shakespeare in my hand. And it was just a surprise one day in the English class. And he was handing out these books, slim little books, and said, all right, this is Act 4, Scene 1. And okay, you're playing Portia, you're playing Bassanio, you're playing Orlando, and Patrick, finally, you're Shylock. And we read this scene, and my character didn't speak for half a page or so. And then he had a speech of about 40 lines, which is one of the most famous speeches in Shakespeare. And I had no idea what I was saying. I was trying to say the words, though most of them I didn't understand.

26:21And yet something happened. I made a connection. I loved pronouncing these words. I was never, I'd never spoken a language like that out loud. I mean, I hadn't even spoken English when I was a child. I spoke not just with an accent, I spoke dialect. So do you want an instance? Yeah, I do. This is my favorite. If I go to a neighbor's house to ask if the lad my age coming out, you know, for kickerball round and everything. When he came to the door, I would say to him, Atta Lakin At. What?

27:00Atta Lakin At. Atta Lakin At. Atta Art Thou, because when I was growing up, we said thee and thou. Not because we were religious at all, but it was just the way, you know, working class West riding people spoke. Atta Art Thou lakin now this is the amazing thing in shakespeare's day actors were also known as lakers and the word i was using was playing lakers stood in for playing at uh are you lakin playing at out that's a lakin out it's funny and you didn't know the derivation of any of this you just know that's what it is you just are saying you don't know you don't know what any of this is coming from.

27:45No, nothing at all. But the moment came when a second teacher, who was the, my book is dedicated to these two people, Cecil Dorman and Ruth Wynn Owen, who was a retired professional actress now living with her husband in Yorkshire and teaching. And she said to me one day, you know, Patrick, if you really are enthusiastic about performing, you've got to lose that accent. And so I started the next day right away. And for several years, I spoke with one accent at weekends when I was going to my drama classes and one accent Monday to Friday when I was in school. Because if I talk like that in the classroom, whack!

28:28I would have got thumped. No, the other kids don't take kindly to that. Ah, gentlemen and kind women. Who the fuck does the thing to ask? Sorry. Don't, don't, don't. I believe it's time for my jelly and peanut butter. You say that you remember, this is a quote, word for word, the one comment about me in a newspaper review of the first amateur production I ever appeared in. And it said, quote, as Hopcroft minor, Patrick Stewart was barely adequate. it. And you said you remember that line for line, despite the fact that you were getting a lot of positive affirmations left and right. That's still, and my God, do I know what you're talking about?

29:15Yeah. It is interesting to me that it is memories like that that stick, and there's no possibility of them ever being removed. Barely adequate. Right. And the one thing I remember that worried me most about that was that my father might see it, and it would disappoint him, I think. You know, we had Harrison Ford on this podcast very recently, and both of you have known a kind of success that 1 % of 1 % of 1 % of actors will ever know. But he went on at great length. He knew the name of the man who turned him down in 1968 and told him he didn't have what it takes. And he repeated his name, I think, 15 times.

30:03Jerry Tukowski. Jerry Tukowski. We all remember him. We all remember it. And you're thinking how much there is no amount of success that you can ladle on a Sir Patrick Stewart or a Harrison Ford. There is no amount that can take that away. And this is just the blessing and the curse. I'm so glad that you've told me that about Harrison. I've been a huge fan. But I've always been aware in his work that there is some kind of internal softness, a gentleness that occasionally just bleeds out into what he does. And he's letting it out. Oh, by the way, we have the same birthday. Oh, is that true? Yeah, 13th of July.

30:49I am one year older than him. But does he show respect? No. No. Does he bow before you? No. That's my mom's birthday. I'm sorry. Really? Well, that's three great actors. Really? Yeah. Because she acts like she's happy to see me every time she comes by. 13th of July. 13th of July. Yeah. Yeah. That's extraordinary. I'm really excited that I told you that. We're wonderful people. You are. Yes. Yes. You talk about, and this is a fascinating part, when you're a teenager, this would be traumatic for a lot of people. you start going bald as a teenager. You're completely bald. You said almost by the age, 19, 20, 21, somewhere around there.

31:32And you just decided I'm going to make this work for me because you realized wigs. I can wear any wig in the world now because I am an actor and I play different parts. Nevertheless, wasn't easy as in my late teens to find that I was losing my hair and I lost it so quickly. And I come from a family of bald men, my brothers, my father, my grandfather. Actually, no. Freedom had hair, a lot of hair. His name was Freedom Baraclough. Now, that's Victorian if ever that was. That's fantastic. It is, yes. But one of the things I very quickly realized, because I'm quite interested in economics, Brent Spiner calls it my poverty mentality.

32:17He said, you were poor when you were little and you've never, ever got past that point. Part of you is still stuck in the poverty region. And, uh, I think that he was right. So losing my hair felt like a failure and also, you know, dating. Who wants to go out with an 18 year old who's just got a few, And I used to do all this combing it over, you know. And then one day, a director I was working with who was very, very conscious of costs said to me, oh, no, no, no. You're two actors for the price of one. Oh, my God. What? What? These are. Okay. That's right. With wigs, we can get three roles out of you.

33:09Yeah. That's fantastic. Exactly. And I've had some sensational wigs in my lifetime, really, because, you know, they say the wig maker says you were born to wear wigs. You know, maybe it's not the biggest compliment.

33:28You were born to wear a mask. Right, right, right. So you're moving up in the world. You're making your way. You move to London. And there's a part in the book because you had led this very sheltered life in Mirfield. And you'd been taught all these stereotypes. And one of the stereotypes you'd been taught was don't trust the Irish. You move into a flat and there's some Irishmen. No, it was a lodging house. Lodging house. Okay. First of all, I still believe don't trust the Irish. Yeah. Solid advice. And I'm 100%. So you come to this wonderful revelation that, no, that's wrong. These are wonderful people.

34:07I think whoever told you don't trust the Irish was spot on. But we'll let that go for now. I'm glad you had a good experience with them. I had a wonderful experience. They were all young men. They'd mostly come from the West Coast of Ireland because they needed work. At that time in the late 40s, there was a job shortage, significant one. and people were dying because they couldn't feed themselves. And all these young guys had come over to London to get work, and they were all working on building sites. They were laborers. Nobody was a skilled constructor. They were laborers. And they welcomed me into the...

34:51I shared a bedroom with one. Over the first night when we had dinner, one of them, he introduced me to everyone. They were all Irish. And he said, listen, when dinner's over, we go out because there's a pub around the corner that's very Irish friendly. And he said, your name is Patrick. I mean, it couldn't be better.

35:14We can introduce you to anyone. Put on this leprechaun wig. Yeah, that's right.

35:22You had this experience that, I mean, I think is absolutely mind blowing. You were in a production in London with the great Vivian Lee. You became friendly with her. And at one point, they are showing Gone with the Wind. It was a... Re-release. A new release, you know, that had been smartened up and tidied up and given new technology. And because you're friendly, she invites you to attend with her. And you sit next to Vivian Lee. You sit next to Scarlett O 'Hara as you watch Gone with the Wind. Well, and by the way, just to get the seating layout proper, I was on her left side. On her right side was her boyfriend, who was a leading actor in the company we were working for, which was the London Old Vic Company, on tour.

36:16We were only on tour. We didn't ever play in London. And, I mean, first of all, this invitation was wonderful. the reason being that i was the humblest member of the company i had been a last minute inclusion two days before rehearsals began i got this offer and the working hands-on producer was a very unpleasant individual and he found he chose me as his one to go for and he did once say in front of the whole company. Patrick, we're doing this in honor of billing and you're at the bottom. So sit down. I mean, you know, you wouldn't get away with that today. I try, but no, you can't. Quiet, you.

37:02He called me barely adequate the other day. Really? Yeah. What was in a review? Well, you know. The London Times. Look what happened to me. Oh. You're going places. Oh, yes. Could be a testimonial. Oh, my God. You've finally given me something to live for. So you're at this production. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're sitting side by side. And I am so excited and thrilled and proud to be sitting alongside her. By the way, in a dinner jacket, because we've been told, by the way, when you go on this tour, you must have dinner jackets. There'll be a lot of formal parties. Dinner jacket. I never owned a dinner jacket.

37:38And I went to look. I couldn't possibly afford one. They were so expensive. But on Charing Cross Road, there was a used garment, men's used garment shop. And I went in and there was this tuxedo. And I don't know what it was made of, but it looked like a blanket. And it was huge. I think it was a blanket. I think you got conned there. A slanket. And so I was sitting on one side of her and her gorgeous boyfriend was sitting on the other side of her wearing a fabulous expensive suit. And I saw that she was touching her face quite often. And then finally, she turned to me and she took my hand and she said, Patrick, I'm going to have to leave.

38:33This is so upsetting. You see, so many of these lovely people I worked with are dead. And it's upsetting me so much. So thanks for sharing this. I hope you enjoy the night. And she got up and she and John walked out. And I was so touched. She could have just left. She didn't have to say, thank you for coming. And it's very good of you. And explain to me why she was crying. She was a superstar. Oh, God, yeah. Of her day, there was no actress today that's ever been bigger than Vivian was. And two Academy Awards, I think, as well. It wasn't just that she was fabulous looking or that she was a very, very nice person, but she had a temper.

39:19I saw her once. There was a wonderful actress who I cannot name, but she is dead too, who was playing a character. And she had a leading role, very important roles. And during the curtain call one night, she was on one side of Vivian and John was on the other side. I was at the back on another row. And this other actress leaned forward. I heard her say something to the other person who was leaning forward with her. I didn't hear what it said. But as she was standing up, Vivian, who had just been presented with a bouquet of flowers, lifted it up and hit her across the face with a bouquet of flowers.

39:58For speaking. Yes. But apparently she had said something that Vivian didn't like. And she erupted. Then later on, we learned that she had illnesses and they were very problematic. And indeed, I think eight years later, she died of this. I believe she might've had tuberculosis or something like that. I think it was a lung issue. Yes. And she also had, what do they call that thing that goes up and down. You know what? We're talking about Vivian. Oh, you're talking about mental illness. Yes. Yes, yes. Bipolar disease. Bipolar. Yes, that's right. Which never showed in her work. Anyway, it was a great privilege to have known her and she was so kind.

40:43And I celebrated my 21st birthday through a party and she came to it. Oh my God. None of the other producers did, but Vivian came, and she gave me a golden cotton handkerchief, which she had sprinkled with the perfume that she always wore. She only wore one perfume, which was called Joy by Patu, and it was wonderful. And for years, I could breathe Vivian in from the handkerchief that she'd given me. And then I moved and went different places. And about two years ago, I found it. Yes. Oh, good. I was going to say, if this thing is missing, I'm walking out now. No. The smell was gone, but the memories were still in place.

41:29We could get some jupe. Yes. Oh, no. Oh, no. You don't want to talk about it. It's a cologne that men wear. I wore it once. The dream was to be in the Royal Shakespeare Company and you made it happen, which to this day, of all of your accomplishments, it might be hard to top that, being in the Royal Shakespeare Company. From the moment that Cecil Dorman had put Merchant of Venice into my hand at the age of 12, right up to the age of 24, 25, by which time I'd done five or six years in repertory theater, first weekly, then two weekly. I mean, we played for a week, so we put on a new show every Monday night, then a fortnight, then three weeks, and then finally a Bristol-Olvic monthly rep.

42:17And this was a plan. It wasn't accidental. I was aiming to go up each year if I could, because my objective was the Royal Shakespeare Company. And they had been to see other actors when I was in Bristol. And one of them who has left us, may he rest in peace, Charlie Thomas, who was only an assistant stage manager and playing little parts. And they cast him. They're all Shakespeare company. They wanted him and they cast him. Why not me? You know. Why him? Why not me? Why not me? I need this role.

42:57It's mine, all mine, I tell you.

43:04Come out of it. Come out of it. I am a character actor. I mean, people are not aware of this. Jean-Luc Picard was a character. Sure.

43:15Charles Xavier. There you go. No, I'm a character. Yeah. Especially in Logan. What next? Well, I was just saying, it's fascinating to me that the objective was always the Royal Shakespeare Company. Yes. And you were not interested. You had no ambitions in television. You didn't have ambition in film. And then, you know, you're doing quite well. You've achieved your dream. And then at the age of, I believe, 45, 46, this possibility of this Star Trek show, because you bring up Jean-Luc Picard, this comes along. and what I always found fascinating and you verify in the book is you approach this as a Shakespearean role.

44:04You took it, which I think is brilliant. You said, oh, this is a television show and this is a, you know, part of a generation of, you know, there's another Star Trek. I'm going to approach this as if it's Lear or Hamlet. That's the seriousness with which I'm going to take this. It certainly served you well. It did, but it also made me comfortable because I was familiar with that. However, when I came to review the first season of Next Generation, I wasn't altogether happy with the work I'd done. I thought it was too internal, too restrained, too solitary, too unconnected with the others. So I resolved that from the start of the second season, I would begin to open him up and let him out.

44:49And that continued for seven years, seven years, and four movies, and then three seasons of Picard, which only wrapped about 15 months ago. It feels like you started to let yourself have more fun. Is that what it is? Well, one of my favorite moments in the book is telling this, because I haven't told it to many people, that halfway through the first season of Next Generation, and we were a wonderful group of of actors. I fell for Jonathan and Brent and Marina and Gates and all of them very sudden, and LeVar and Michael. I mustn't leave anybody out. That's a whole lot. And Whoopi when she joined us.

45:32And one day I called a meeting because I thought I'm captain of the enterprise, but because I'd led companies in the theater, I felt this should be my role here. I'm a leader, not just of Star Trek, of Starfleet, but of this band of people who are working these endless days, 12, 14, sometimes 16-hour days to get all this done. And so I called this meeting and I said, all right, listen, what it seems to me you people don't understand is that there are two sets of work going on here. There's the work we do and the time off that we get occasionally, you know, a day, a long weekend. And then there's the rest of the crew and people in the office who are here every single day and working brutal hours.

46:30We have got to make their lives easier. And the problem is we are having too much fun.

46:40that was the phrase that has still not left me today yeah i mean i heard jonathan frank say to me yeah i'm sorry we're having too much fun but you got over it that was your instinct and you got over it yes yes because it it was limiting yes restricting you know and and the older i guess as I hope in part this conversation is illustrated, I get looser and I attach things that are inside myself to my outside life. The first time that you came on the program, I remembered I not met you and I just know you by this man, this man, Royal Shakespeare Company and so accomplished and who am I to talk to him?

47:28And you were funny and delightful and self-deprecating and silly. And I think that was a real gift. That was a real gift to see that if someone who's accomplished all this can let go a little bit, that's a great gift to give to people. Thank you. It benefits me in my life. And things occasionally have been said to me that have stuck and had an impact. My first ever day in front, which is in the book, in front of a camera, a film camera, was in a film called Hennessy, which starred Rod Steiger. And I had half a day's work, which was me and Rod Steiger in the back of a car. And I pulled the gun on him.

48:14And it was just one scene because it didn't end up happily for me. I mean, the character. and it's a long anecdote this I'm not going to even start it from the beginning but when Rod learned that this was my first day on a film set he said oh well what are you doing for lunch and I no no he said what are you doing for lunch and I said oh I don't know I mean what do you do Did you find a cafe? He said, no, no, no. Over there, there's a counter and a bar, and you can get what you want there. And bring it to my trailer. And I said, you sure? Yeah, bring it. So I did. And we had lunch sitting in his trailer.

49:04He was one of my heroes. Yes, you might think it should have been Marlon Brando. And it was. Was it from On the Waterfront? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And the porn broker, which is what Rod won an Academy Award for. But that scene with him and Brando in the back of the car in which Rod pulled a gun on Brando, and Brando goes, oh, I just moves it aside. Fuck. Goosebumps, goosebumps. And anyway, one of the things he said to me during this lunch was, just as we were about to leave, He said one thing. What's remembering? The camera photographs false. And that was all. And I have never forgotten that. So you think it and the camera will see it.

50:03And I watch other actors who I admire immensely and the work that they do. And I see it on them. Somebody might say, that face hasn't moved. no but look at the eyes it's full of thoughts and you know you're you're involved and it's so funny you say that because i just watched the other day i hadn't seen it all the way through for years the steve mcqueen movie bullet 1968 and i watched it and what stuns me is mcqueen barely moves his face in the whole movie and it's riveting a lot of it is people yelling at him they're angry with him you know this isn't you you don't like the way you're running this investigation what are you doing and it's him and his eyes slightly moving side to side and you see the wheels turning and he's got all this coiled energy that he's not spending and it's fantastic if you're not under the the the pressure that you've got to be doing something you know i often feel with some young actors, they think, you know, just do less, but think.

51:10The camera sees it all, and it's magical. But of course, those guys, Brando Steiger, Lee J. Cobb, Eva Marie Saint, all of whom, by the way, I have met, except for Brando. I had an invitation from somebody who was very close to him to go up to his house up on the top of the Hollywood Hills. An appointment was set, and I pulled out. Yeah. Someone had said to me, he's very difficult, you know, and all I had was this memory of this brilliant, believable, real actor. And I didn't want it to be changed. I want him to remain as he was when he moved Rod's gun aside and just saw the sadness in his face.

51:55It's a great job if you're lucky and you get the work to do. And of course, right now, No, there is no work. Well, that's why you wrote this book. Exactly. COVID, and you wrote this book, and the book is great. And there's so many great revelations in this book. I love reading about how you heard that Frank Sinatra was a fan of your Star Trek. And I just imagine Frank Sinatra's, Shadow, get out of here. I got to watch. Punching somebody and they're saying, shut up. Star Trek's on. Next generation. I just love that. I love that. And I just, I love that my favorite people have careers that define categorization.

52:39And I think that's, you fit that beautifully because it's, there's so many different phases. You've done so many different things. You've put on so many different hats slash wigs. And then you write this book, which is beautiful and ultimate, ultimate respect. Really, this is, quite an achievement. And I love that you are still in it. You're still interested in trying something new. You're still interested in what's next. What's next? What's different? Something new, please. I guess I get offered jobs in space.

53:19You're stuck in that, huh? You know, I try to say no. It's King Lear in space. Yes. That's not a bad idea. No, and it's my idea. Listen, I'm going to set you up an appointment. You call Gavin Pallone, and he'll take care of you. I get 80%, you get 20%. Trust me, we can work on the numbers, but it's 80-20, and it doesn't change. Thank you, Conan. Good. Generous gentleman. hey i i cannot thank you enough for taking time for us you're a huge deal and this is uh this is a big deal for us so making it so a memoir patrick stewart and if you don't buy this book you're a fool you're a fool not you i'm not i'm looking at you but you are not a fool sir you are far from a fool you are a fool yes yes oh yes i played touchstone once i played touchstone you did oh Oh, yeah.

54:14Oh, my God. The Fools. It's a good role. Yeah. And he's not just funny. He's kind of tragic as well, you know, which... All the really funny ones are... Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, God. Did I ruin a moment here? You ruined the whole thing. Did I make it about myself? The whole thing. Let's go again from the top. Sir Patrick Stewart, onward and break a leg in all your endeavors. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

54:51I like to support the people around me. Why is that the biggest laugh in a while? I do. Oh my God. I like to lift and elevate those around me. Spick out my water. Punch down and bury. My only joy, my only real joy is watching those around me thrive. By the way, I'm hostage right now. Now I'm being held at gunpoint and being forced to read this. No, I do. I'm happy. But then there are limits. There are limits. And Matt Gourley, a very talented fellow, works on this podcast. You add so much to the chitter chatter. But then behind the scenes, you're constantly making all these great edits and audio choices.

55:37And you're putting it all together and getting it out to the people of the world. So I do commend you for that. But then you have these other projects. And I'm trying to think of the way to put this. It enrages me that you would ever divert your eye from this. I mean, this is a golden egg. This is a lightning in a bottle, what we have here. And yet every time I turn around, you say, well, I got to get going now. I'm going to go work on Gloop Dilly Gloop. And I'm like, what's that? And you're like, oh, it's one of my 700 other podcasts that I do. You have one called Mall Walking. Is that right?

56:11Yeah, that's a culturally significant and important podcast where my friend Mark and I just record ourselves walking through America's malls. And you've been manhandled during that, during those recordings, haven't you? Yes. Sona joined us once and we got kicked out. You make it sound like it was we got kicked out because of me. No. Oh, OK. What did you shoplift? Just curious. How dare you? What did you? Well, one time. How dare you? Have you shoplifted in the past? No, we did reparations. Well, yeah, we went to the store that I did shoplift from and then we I apologized. Oh, good. All right. That's.

56:44And we bought something from the store to atone. Yeah, that's nice. OK. Well, Matt did. Yeah. So so you have these other you have and you have a lot of other projects as well. It's true. And I look at those as moonlighting. This is my day job. This is, you know, I take this seriously. You do. I mean, I just worry that. Even though they existed before this podcast, but still. I know, but come on. You're a guy that's been mucking around, making little sculptures, and then you got a chance to work on. I mean, this is the Parthenon. It sits upon. This is a massive structure that sits on a high mesa in a hill in Athens, and people look at it and marvel at its beauty.

57:28A corporate entity that's rotting America from within. Well, you say tomato, I say tomato. But the important thing is that you do have these other podcasts. And even I have to admit, someone with a Grinch shriveled heart like me, I have to admit that you do have these other ideas that sound cool. And you have these other projects that sound like they're kind of interesting. And you've got this new one that I heard about. Adam mentioned it to me in the hall today. And I said, wait a minute, that sounds like a really good idea. I'd listen to that. And I wanted to bring it up on the air. That's very nice of you.

58:01I mean, I will say that my podcasts are stupid. This one is legit. Oh, this is erudite. It is. I'll tell you why. Because my wife and I are doing it together, and she adds a level of respectability that I cannot bring. Well, okay, let's talk about this, because the project that you're working on is called Keys to the Kingdom. And what's interesting is it's about the experience of working at a theme park. And first of all, that's how you met your wife. That's right. We're both recovering theme park employees. She was a former princess. She played a bunch of princesses. I was just kind of a actor performer improv person there.

58:37And we met at Universal Studios that we both worked at Disney together. And through the years, we were beset through crazy stories of shit that goes on there that you wouldn't believe. And this whole podcast is like a eight episode docuseries of people telling stories about when they worked there. You guys are the hosts, and then you're talking to a bunch of people you know who are coming forward and just telling you the funny, crazy things that happened to them while they were working in theme parks. Yeah, and some people we don't know, and some people actually that are going under assumed names and having their voices changed because they're either worried about job security or past job security.

59:12They might not even work there, and they still don't want to upset certain theme parks. It's kind of a tongue-in-cheek Watergate expose. Oh. You know what I mean? I thought the original Watergate expose was kind of tongue-in-cheek. we're treating it like we're busting the lid off something when in fact we're just having a good time with some stories that are really ridiculous some stories that are kind of spooky and then sona was a guest as well and she tells her story of getting busted by the disney police trying to smuggle in edibles to the park yeah i did yeah and also you don't even need to tell me what it was because you could guess what sona got in trouble for it usually revolves around a certain theme uh but keys to the kingdom and how do people listen to keys to the kingdom it's anywhere you can find podcasts.

59:53It's out now. You can subscribe on any podcast player. There's also eight behind the scenes bonus episodes with extra material that you can get in the show notes of the podcast. Like I said, I would listen to this because as someone who, every time I go to a theme park, my mind is racing, wondering what's really going on here. It's crazy. And there's no way to find out because you can't just ask people. But it sounds like you have, you've blown the lid off this story. It's a crazy, creepy cult and I'm happy to be out of it but also all respect to these major companies oh god and I look forward to doing business with you in the future because I didn't just say that well anyway look out for it Keys to the Kingdom I'm excited for you thank you this was very nice of you to do too well this will never air okay I'll just make sure it's not even being recorded yeah no no make sure this never ever airs I just want points for doing it and then just make sure it never really happens okay Cool.

1:00:50That's the Conan formula.

1:01:19Jennifer Samples, engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.