Slush Metal

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi. Hi, Katarina. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. Hi, it is so great to see you. Well, I wish I could see you, Katarina. I don't see you yet. Can you really see her? I just see a... Can she really... Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is. There you are. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I just saw a dark screen and I thought I was having some sort of cerebral event. But I'm fine now. I can see you. And could you start again and just say who you are and all that stuff? Yeah, my name is Katharina.

0:45I am calling from Austria, from Feldkirch. And I am also having a cerebral event. This feels like a weird fever dream. This is so weird. It's weird. Yeah, weird to use Zoom. Is that what you're saying? What's weird? Yes, exactly. That's weird. Like after four years of pandemics. Yeah. No, like, I mean, I've listened to your podcast on an 11-hour drive from Poland back home, listening to your voices, and it is very weird to interact with you right now. Well, I'm sure that's the best way to take that road trip, is listening to our... I was going insane. I think half of my brain melted during the drive, but it kept me awake.

1:28Worth it. We have saved many a driver's life. Well, listen, is it Katarina? And you are from... Katarina. Katarina, and you are from Austria. Which part of Austria again? Yeah, from the very wild west, from Feldkirch. It's actually just a... Feldkirch? Feldkirch. Yeah, it's just a 15-minute walk to Liechtenstein. Okay, so it's a 15-minute walk to another place I can't pronounce. I come from Scheizenhautzer. It's just seven minutes from Utensladen, Liedendarmel, Schlittenblatt. Well, it's nice to talk to, Katharina, and tell us a little bit about yourself. what do you do? For work? Well, for whatever.

2:13Just tell me about yourself. Whatever. Okay, yeah. I work as a psychologist. I did my bachelor master's degree in Zurich, did a PhD in social neuroscience in Bern. And now I work with adolescents between 14 and 18 years old. I like to make metal music. Oh my God. Okay. Well, wait a minute. First of all, you seem like a very impressive, you're a very impressive person. You have great knowledge. You're helping people. But I want to hear it. You said, I like to make metal music. You're talking heavy metal, yes? Yeah, well, heavier than heavy metal, yeah. Oh. This is the vibe I'm getting. Yeah. I know.

2:57A banner that says Cringe Blizzard. Yeah. Tell me about this. Oh, yeah. There's a banner behind you that says Cringe Blizzard. Is that the name of your heavy, heavy, heavy metal band? Tell me. Yeah, one of my bands. What kind of music do you play in Cringe Blizzard? And feel free to have a drink at any time. Okay, thank you. Then I will switch to beer. Hey! Yeah, we're talking. Very good. You are from Austria, yeah. So tell me. Yeah. We have the best alcoholism over here. Well, we'll get to that fun stuff in a bit. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm Irish. Behind you, there's a banner that says Cringe Blizzard.

3:33Is that the name of your heavy metal band? Yeah, it's one of my bands. Yeah. Well, tell me what kind of music, what is Cringe Blizzard? What kind of music do you play? Cringe Blizzard is a fantastic journey through insanity and madness. I love that sound. We do like, well, it is, it's kind of hard to put it into a subgenre. I mean, it's like sludge metal, but also death metal, but also trash metal, but also whatever. Yes, yes. No, I'm familiar with. You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, of course. Yes, yes. It's death metal, but it's also slush metal and cringe metal. And why the word cringe?

4:14You know, I like slush metal. Why cringe blizzard? What does the word cringe mean to you? Well, our goal is to make great sound, but unbearable live performances. so you're trying to are you trying to force people out of the room when they come see you yes you are so yes we are so the goal is to sell out like stadiums with thousands of people but by the third song people are gonna leave and we're gonna be about by ourselves you know what i have confidence you can achieve that dream i just so your your job is to basically just clear out the audience when you play. And so the word cringe means you really want people cringing when they hear your music.

5:05Not when they hear the music, but when they see us live. I love this. So essentially, you just want to do a job that you can go home as early as possible. Oh, exactly. Yeah, but still like cashing the money from the entrance fee. What do you do live that makes people leave? Oh, well, I do have a vape taped to my microphone and call it the fog machine. So do I. Well, we got like silly outfits and tell like really, really horrible dad jokes. You tell dad jokes in addition to the music to try and bum people out. Basically, that's what you're saying. Yeah, like in between the songs. Yeah, sure. If they do know the answer to the song, if they can figure it out, they get some candy.

5:53Okay. If they figure out the answer to the joke, you mean. If they figure out the answer to the dad joke, then they get some candy. Wow, you're giving so many mixed messages. You're telling terrible jokes, but if they get the jokes, then they get some candy, but you want them to cringe. You want them to be unhappy. This is a real overlap of her child psychology and death metal. It's all happening at the same time. Do you have an example of one of those jokes? Yeah. There's not many that translate into English. I can't think of one, though. You know, these type of jokes are very typical. It's very typical for, like, the German areas.

6:32They're called anti-witze or anti-jokes. For example, what is green and looks through the keyhole? It's spin-atch. What? Spin-atch. That's great. Spin-atch. Okay, you've driven me from the podcast. I will leave and never come back now. Hey, so, I'm just, Katarina, you do the vocals? Are you the vocalist for Cringe Blizzard? Now, is there a lot of, is it a lot of yelling? Is it screaming? Can you give me examples of that? Well, I don't want to wreck your headphones. Go for it. But yeah, it's a lot of, no, it's a lot of growling and screaming and it's fine. Also, I didn't warm up my voice. I see, you don't want to hurt yourself.

7:20Do you think you could teach me to do this? Do you think I could be maybe a guest vocalist for Cringe Blizzard? Fucking hell yeah. You think so? What would I have to do? Would I have to really yell? I mean, like, wow, that kind of thing. I mean, these are some of the sounds I can make. I'll be shy. You know. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No? None of that is metal. How are your dad jokes? None of it is metal. Well, I mean, we can sample it and work it into the song anyway. No, but I mean, the technique is actually pretty similar to opera singing. It is coming down from a diaphragm. You try to not hurt your voice and, like, push all the air from the diaphragm.

8:02Can you coach him? Can you teach him? Yeah, teach me how to do it. Right now? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, come on. You're my coach now. You are the lead singer for Cringe Blizzard. You're drinking heavily. And this is your chance to teach me how to be a metal vocalist. um okay um the easiest way to start out for like the basic like the basic of the of the growl is um breathing deep from your diaphragm which means you breathe into your belly which extends and your shoulders stay down so if you breathe in yeah your belly extends your shoulders stay low right and if you breathe out slowly in a very controlled way stop making sounds you feel your throat relaxing usually right why are you making those sounds just get off my ass i'm trying to learn i'm talking to someone in austria who's teaching me for the first time in my life to do you know cringe metal and you're I'm just on my dick the whole time.

9:15Sorry. Okay, go ahead, Katarina. Well, actually, okay. Well, and then in the next step, actually, I've listened to your podcast episode from last week where you talked about like odd breathing exercises. And this is actually already pretty close to the basic of a growl. Yeah. You try to like breathe out heavily, relaxed with your voice resonating with it.

9:44This is actually, this is like the basis of it. Yeah. Imagine coming home, you have to unload the dishwasher and your wife comes at you yelling, you should do the groceries and you're like really tired and you don't want to do it. And you go like, I don't want to do this. It's hard for me to imagine that because there's like nine people between me and my wife and they handle these things. I haven't touched a dish in 15 years. but anyway I'll pretend to be exasperated why didn't one of the nine people who are supposed to take care of this do it why why why that's not bad right yeah that's not bad that's a good start why

10:48Do you think that I would be good at embodying cringe metal? I was hoping you asked that question, because I do think we can get with new lows with your assistance. What do you mean? You think I can bring you to new lows? That's a good thing in her world. Yeah, we don't want to have heights. We want to have lows, right? So wait a minute. Why do you think I would work with Cringe Blizzard? Because it's fun. Okay. And you get candy. Yeah. Okay, well, now you sound like a guy outside a van. 1978. It's fun and you'll get candy. Well, that didn't work out too well. They caught him. Anyway, my point is, Katerina, what is...

11:35So you think that I would get, I kind of would embody the essence of cringe Blizzard, you think? I could do that. I think you could definitely do that. I mean, you've been making people uncomfortable for decades. You're a master. So he's more cringe than Blizzard. Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Katarina. That is not what I've been intending to do. Is that what you're getting, that I've been making people uncomfortable for years? Is that what you're getting from my work? No, I'm not. Yes, you are. You just said that. I've been making people uncomfortable. You think my comedy makes people cringe.

12:14Is that what you're saying? Feel free to go for it. Maybe sometimes.

12:21Well, maybe that's what made you a fan. You know, that's the important thing. Yeah, maybe that's the reason why Cringe Blizzard exists in the first place. Is that I inspired you? Did I inspire Cringe Blizzard with my cringy humor? Is that what you're saying?

12:38Well, maybe a little. Okay, thank you. So glad we could chat. So glad we could talk. Who else is in the band with you? Who else is in this metal band? My brother and a friend of ours. Okay. So who's playing what instruments? My brother's playing the guitar and our friend Arne, he's playing the drums. Is there a bass? So, no, not yet. So feel free to come over. Maybe you could play bass. Play bass with Cringe Blizzard. Go all the way to Austria. Yeah, yeah. Do the backup vocals, play some bass. Now, you used to watch the television show back when I was doing a TV show, is that correct? I actually discovered you on YouTube through a couple of friends of mine.

13:28and then yeah i didn't like we didn't get your show in austria right not that i remember a lot of people don't get it here um uh but you uh did you write into the show once is that correct oh yeah i was actually featured on a on a fan correction video you were on my show I do believe that I was on the last fan correction video because I was procrastinating my studies and I watched a couple of your fan corrections and I was wondering if the link still works to send in corrections and it did. so you sent in you said no a fan correction was a thing that we did on the show many times that was where fans we dared fans to find any flaw with our show and they would find things that we had said or done that were technically incorrect so you sent in a fan correction yeah what was it yeah what was it it was about you giving liquids to baby birds mm-hmm okay yeah I'm drawing a blank here yes of course I don't know what you're talking about.

14:38I have a content correction. And you have a, you found something wrong and so you sent in a correction. Yeah, you shouldn't feed liquids to baby birds. They will die from it. They cannot swallow liquids yet. In many cases. Yeah. I called you a baby bird killer. And you said you loved me. And now you don't remember me, Conan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I've had many loves in many parts of the world. I don't remember this one fan correction, but I can look it up. But I guess we were doing something on the show and I mentioned you can nurse a bird maybe with liquids. You said, no, you can't.

15:19You wrote in, you tried to help me and we aired the fan correction. Yeah, you did. That's great because we would get many submissions, but only a few would be aired. So what a high honor for you. This is a fucking crazy coincidence. Except I have something here in my notes that she was supposed to get a T-shirt and she never got a T-shirt. Yeah, that's true. Wait, tell me what happened. Well, when I sent in the fan correction, it said that people who get featured on the show will get the Team Coco T-shirt and I never received one. You didn't get your T-shirt? No, I didn't. You also called me up by the wrong name on the show.

15:56What did I call you on the show? Katarina? No, you called me Katarzyna Radziwanowska, which is my Polish name, which I used for social media, but not my actual name that I used to fill out the form. Oh, I'm so sorry that I used the Polish name that you used when you wrote in. How is that my fault? And now you're mad that you didn't get your T-shirt? Do you think I'm in charge of sending the T-shirts out? She was going to be just a folk musician until that happened. And then she turned a cringe music. Yeah. I'm sorry you did not get your t-shirt, but you have to understand that I am at the top of a very large pyramid.

16:36Do you understand? I am. I sit high atop a mountain and then there's millions of people that work for me. Millions. And they let you down, not me. Do you understand? Oh, man. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. No, right now. Where does the buck stop? What I'm saying is you're calling up Tim Cook and saying my iPhone jammed. That's unfair to him. Do you know what I mean? Don't let some poor random guy suffer for me. No, no, no. I'm going to find out who didn't sell you that T-shirt. They probably don't work for me anymore. No. Yeah, I'm going to find them. No, spare them. And I'm going to have them murdered.

17:15Well, I'm sorry you didn't get your T-shirt. We'll find you a T-shirt and I will get it to you somehow, okay? because I want to right this wrong. You should get your T-shirt. Sounds great. Thanks a lot. Yeah. You seem thrilled. So great. Finally, this void in your life has been filled. Well, I'm sorry that that happened. This is so nice. Yeah. I'm talking now to a fan who did something nice and wrote in and helped our show a bunch of years ago and never got their T-shirt. and uh and that probably is that was that disappointment what is that what drove you to uh start getting into heavy metal and then cringe blizzard and slush metal yeah yeah and especially the slush metal there was no other way to release my anger and disappointment yeah okay i understand well i you know what i've never been to austria and do you think i'd like austria I think you'd love it I mean you do like skiing right yeah I like skiing and riding bikes so yeah our region is renowned for their skiing areas and their biking trails I like riding bikes I like skiing how's the food in Austria what will I be eating very savory like you will drown in cheese wow like the Midwest that's the nicest thing yeah Yeah, that's right.

18:43You're going to Austria for some cheese curds. I could just go to Wisconsin. I can ride a bike there and drown in cheese. No, no, no, no. It's not the same. Okay. Well, did you have a question for me, Katarina, lead singer of Cringe Blizzard and disappointed fan who never got her t-shirt? Do you have a question? What was that other name you just said? The Artifice. Oh. It's the other band I play in. Oh, sorry. Wow, you're getting as many plugs in as possible. Oh, I have to. Yeah. Do you have a line of jewelry you'd like to talk about? Do you have a question for me? Yeah, I do.

19:25Are you sure? I'm having a hard time to formulate a sentence that makes sense. Man, this interaction with me really means a lot to you, doesn't it? you just spaced out and started thinking about lunch.

19:44Now, I do know that you've also had like your fair share of like struggles in your life and in the career. You got this talk show when you were fairly young. You were just 30 years old and didn't have a whole lot of experience. And I was wondering what helped you to stand up for yourself when you faced criticism, to go through to stand by yourself and and still know the work I'm doing is great and I'm gonna keep going well that's wow that's a that's a really good question to be honest with you there were many many moments of true despair I cannot lie to you and now I want to drink while you're drinking but I think a lot of us just push ahead because we we don't know what other option there is.

20:33And so I think ultimately for me, my desire to do this was stronger than other people's desire for me not to do it. And, and over time that, that won out, but it, it felt like it took a long time to get people to catch onto my sense of humor and like it. So I'm very glad and I'm very lucky that I managed to get to keep doing it because there were times there when I thought this is going to be over. And then I'll just have to do something else for a living. But I was very fortunate that it worked out. So I can't lie and say, oh, just believe in yourself and keep going because sometimes it gets pretty dark.

21:15But I'm talking to the lead singer for Cringe Blizzard. So I think you would understand.

21:23But the big reward is getting to talk to people like you who are really cool and really smart. I cannot believe how well educated you are. You're just, it seems like a - Yeah, I mean he does. No, isn't it? It's incredible. You've had this incredible education. You're doing this great work. I cannot believe how educated you are. She is, she has, I think that's a compliment. I know, I know. You've got like a PhD, I mean, Anna, do you think you could psychologically help me?

21:53Many people think I have, I know you treat adolescents - What's there to fix? What's there to be fixed? You're perfect. Oh, boy. Oh, girl.

22:08All right, take it easy, everybody. I think your guttural noises are better than mine. I know. You guys should start your own metal band. Well, Katarina, it was so cool talking to you. I like you. It was nice meeting you. Yeah, it was really nice meeting you. And best of luck with the band. And please give my best to your bandmates. Do you get them? Are they familiar with some of my work? Do you get them? Have they watched any of the videos?

22:38I don't know, actually. Do you like me? Do you watch my videos? No, I'm saying that for a reason. Will you tell them about me? I wanted her to say no. I mean, I don't think that they are very familiar with your work. I mean, my brother might know a video or two because of me, but our drummer probably doesn't know a whole lot except for the Pompadour. Then I pity them. I have great pity for them. Me too. Yeah. What terrible lives they lead. Well, really nice talking to you, Katerina. Yeah, it was great meeting you. Yeah, take care and have a drink and then get some sleep. Okay? Yes, I will, sir.

23:19Thank you very much. How do you say good night? Good night. Good night? Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night, Katrina. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan. With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

24:15me. Thank you.