Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 3 Episode 2

0:00This special episode of Summer S'mores is presented by Solo Stove. Solo Stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Trust us, once you've sat around a smokeless fire, you'll never want to go back. Go check them out at solostove.com. Use promo code Conan to get$10 off your new pit. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chumps. A six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Welcome to episode two of Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Outdoors Edition. Now, as I recall, and I don't recall a lot, last year we met in your backyard.

0:43Is that right, Matt? That's right. Wonderful. We had a wonderful time. I think Sona was a little over-served, if I recall. Okay. Because you make a powerful cocktail and then Sona showed absolutely no restraint. That's very true. And you know what? I think it's going to be the same thing this time. What was the cocktail last year? It was spectacular. It was called the chilled chum. Okay. And it was made of chilled bits of fish that are used to attract sharks. I believe you said it looked like little mouse hearts. Yeah. Pulverized mouse hearts. No, it was actually amazing. It was great. It was fantastic.

1:15I'm being perfectly honest with you. Last year's drink was amazing and has a lot to... This year's drink is going to have a hard time. This looks quite different. What is this? This is called the ginger menace. Okay. And these are little Conan heads. Oh, look at that. It's got the, either that's a pompadour or a tumour. Well, it can be both. Okay. Beautiful looking. Great presentation, Matt. Thank you. Yeah, that's really nice. This is bootleg Cuban rum, Aperol, and ginger beer with a little bit of fresh ginger and lemon. And there's also, just because I know you like dazzly drinks, there's some edible glitter in here.

1:53Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. I mean, I'm like Hemingway, only I demand glitter in my drinks. Well, cheers. But in every other way. Thank you for making this. Yeah, my pleasure. Cheers. Look at that. I like the little Conan that you made out of, looks like a sectioned grapefruit. And then here to test it. Is there some shit on the ice cube? Yeah, that's a little cowboy. What? On the ice cube? My grandpa had this little logo for his company of a little cowboy. and you can get like little wax stamps made and you just run it underwater and press it into the ice. Oh, that's fantastic. Isn't that stupid?

2:29It's not stupid at all. I love it. I love this promotion for Yellowstone in my drink. What is, okay, here we go. Here's my first sip. Oh, that's nice. You know what, Matt? You know, I'm not a fan. So this, I mean this with all honesty and sincerity. You make an amazing cocktail. Oh, thank you. This is really good. I mean, it is not only aesthetically pleasing, but good Lord. I knew you liked rum. I love rum. Yeah. And this is communist rum. So, you know, it's good. I love communist rum. Yeah. I love it's the people's rum. Yeah. It's the rum. We've brought down the pigs. And I can't drink it. What is your problem?

3:13Sona, look what I did. I took out mine. I know, but you put it in. You put it in your drink and I'm still I'm going to drink this drink. Sona, it's not your fault. It's a little top heavy. It is. As am I. Yeah. Okay. This is fantastic. I do love a rum drink and I just want to put it out there if you ever see me at a bar and you want to strike the right note. I love me rum. I'm part pirate in that way. I don't pillage. I don't plunder. And I have no courage. And well, there's - What makes you a pirate? The rum part. Okay. I like to drink me rum. Okay. And then I like to fall asleep listening to my own podcast, which to me says pirate all the way.

3:58It's nice to be outside. Let me set the scene for our listeners. We are out. It's a beautiful evening. And we are outside and we are at the Team Coco headquarters here in the Larchmont area of Los Angeles. Home base. Home base. And there's a wonderful porch and we're sitting out in this porch. There is not a cloud in the sky. It's a gorgeous teal blue and everything is flowering because we had a lot of rain this winter and spring. Yeah. Hey, take it easy. Sorry. It was gray up until like yesterday. Okay. Can you let me just set the scene? I'm sorry. Okay. You're the worst. What the? I'm sorry, let's hear more about your very descriptive of this patio that's covered.

4:46This is wonderful. We're sitting outside, and we're sitting around a wonderful fire. The solo stove. Now, listen, the solo stove. Listen, I'm not some shill, but I have to tell you, this solo stove is incredible. Beautiful design, and we can sit out here, and it's a smokeless fire. Oh, just wait till episodes three and four. We're going to be making actual pizza in a solo stove pizza oven. Wait, they, wait a minute. Stop. Hold it. Talking. Are you saying? Yes. That they took the ingenious design of a solo stove and then they somehow use that brilliant technology to make an incredible pizza oven?

5:27That very thing. Yeah. Okay. But you're not a shill. Oh, not at all. Not at all. but let me just say again solo stove the one we're sitting by right now even if it weren't also capable of being a pizza oven is incredible I've just never been happier sitting here and I know Suna doesn't like it but again the teal blue sky the quiet the quiet song of the whippoorwill look the lone bird up on that wire watching us oh look at that bird or it's a drone that's a drone that looks like you know what it is a rival podcast they took it it's smartless it's those smartless guys it's you know what it is that is and i know that he's a tech guy but jason bateman has created a drone and dressed it they're so fearful of our podcast and they basted it with feathers and they sent it out and that's bateman right now yeah fuck you jason bateman yeah fuck off bateman yeah we know what you're up to right now he's watching it and well here's he's doing two things right now he's watching us through the drone from his luxurious home in the hills uh that i've never been invited to and he's also watching uh his uh his appearance in teen wolf at the same time he's watching teen wolf 2 he's on a split screen so uh here's to you i salute i salute those guys i love those guys yeah i don't know them um no of course Oh, what do you mean, of course not?

6:55I think if they got to know me, they'd think I'm cool. You're not in the club, Sona. There's a celebrity club. Yeah, Sona. Yeah. Matt and I are in Da Club. Da Club. Oh, it's called Da Club. We have a schvitz together, Matt and I. We go to Turkish baths. Exactly. Where else do you get a schvitz? I'm okay not being in this club. I'm totally fine with it now. We hang out with all the big celebs. Okay. Everyone who's sort of like a C-lister on Vanderpump Rules, we hang out with. And by big celebs, we're talking 450 and over in weight. You know all those really heavy people on Vanderpump Rules?

7:39They're all fatty. I'm only friends with very... Oh, no, that's not nice. No, you shouldn't have said that. I know. I'm sorry. Can you cut that out? Nope. Do not cut that out. But Sonia, you know what I love? You start getting inappropriate after one sip. Yeah. I mean, basically, you just had the equivalent of a cough drop. I know. And you're going, ah, those fatties are the... Nothing's happened. I don't like that. It makes me feel like I fat shamed. And you know what? I did pregame before this with you. Oh, please. Yeah. I had nothing. Okay. I had nothing. All right. So, you know, I'm already feeling just a little bit of nothing.

8:14But then, you know, we just feel fine. I'll admit that before this happened, we walked down the street and we went to a lovely Greek restaurant because we had a lot of time to kill. We finished a podcast and then we walked down the street and there was a lot of time to kill. And Sona said, let's invite Matt. And I said, I can't hear you. Let's keep walking. And we very nice outdoor Greek restaurant here in the Larchmont area. If someone knew the name, I'd shout it out. But I don't think anyone does. It's called Le Petit Greek. Is it Le Petit Greek? Yeah. Yeah. Wonderful. And you can sit outside.

8:44Yeah. Maybe we had a glass of wine. Maybe we had two. I don't know. Yeah. The important thing is that I was recognized. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. No, we had so many people come up to me and say, I loved you in that movie where you're the conductor who's outed. Tar? Yeah. Do you think people thought you were Cate Blanchett?

9:09That way we get your comeuppance for... every month you change which kind of strawberry blonde actress people mistake you for because it goes like tilda swinton to cynthia nixon to now i believe cate blanchett uh it's also been jane lynch for a while jane lynch right yeah all those women are angry with me that's and it's not exactly uh but anyway we had a wonderful time then we walked back here and i have to say and again at the risk of repeating myself a teal blue sky oh god the sun now listen it is um It is a wonderful, wonderful night. And we're here and we're together. And that's the important thing.

9:47We're together. And actually more important than that, we have some rum. Yeah. And more important than that we're together is that we get to be apart when this is done. What does that mean? Well, it just, you know, a little goes a long way. My wife always says, if you don't leave, how can I miss you? And she says that a lot. My wife says that maybe eight times a day. Now I originally pitched that we did three episodes of this at night. We spend the night and then we do three episodes in the morning. Like we camp here. Oh. I would do that. Really? Yeah. So Sona, you were the holdout? I am. I'm okay.

10:25Listen. I think we're okay doing it this way. Did you hear that? Can you hear that in the background? Those choppers going by. Those motorcycles. Those are guys that are living fast and free. They don't. And you know what? They're probably listening to old episodes of this podcast right now while they ride their choppers. Yeah. I don't know. I would do that. I would camp out. Yeah? Yeah. Do you camp? I've never, in all the time I've worked for you, I've never, like, helped you buy a sleeping bag. Well, you don't need to help me buy a sleeping bag. Like, do you have a tent? How would you help him buy a sleeping bag?

11:01I would buy it for him. I would say so when I need a sleeping bag. and then she would go and say, do you have the John Tesh? Do you have the Frankenstein? Get me a body bag for Andre the Giant. I mean, that's basically what you're saying.

11:23Summer S'mores series is back. Each year we gather on a solo stove fire pit. It's kind of nice. Love you guys. I love you too. I'm okay. I know. Matt and I love each other. So it's just okay. Okay, this year, Solo Stove sent us the bonfire. It's designed to put out some serious heat without putting off that dirty S word. You know what I'm talking about? Smoke. Yeah. Here's what I gotta tell you. The Solo Stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit. Once you've sat around a smokeless fire, you'll never wanna go back. Guys, correct me if I'm wrong.

12:00I've sat around some fires in my day, okay? Yeah. Smoke gets in my eyes. I start crying. People think I'm having an emotional breakdown. I'm taken away and put into an institution. There's no smoke here. We've got a nice fire. We've got some heat, but no smoke. That's why we know your crying is actually just emotional and not smoke-related. Exactly. Yes. I'm crying because I'm with two people I love very much. Aww. Oh, wait. Who's here? That's us. Oh, it's me. Oh, wait. Sorry, my glasses weren't on. Anyway, So Sof has multiple different colors that are portable, so you can take it into the back country.

12:33You can go to the beach. you can go up to the top of a mountain you go into a deep cave it looks good it works great plus it has a lifetime warranty which means we could do easily 7 ,000 seasons of this show that's a lot and it would well I'd like to retire at some point I don't think so your family has said they're fine with you working anyway we could do a lot of seasons and that solo stove would keep on cooking go check them out at solostove.com and use promo code Conan to get$10 off your new pit

13:14Have you ever pooped in a hole? What are you doing? Don't take it to that level. No, I'm not saying. I'm saying this is part of legit camping is when you dig a hole and then that's where you go into the bathroom and then you dig it back. That is not true. Those of us who are sophisticated campers bring a porcelain toilet with us. Solo stuff makes one of those. Well, actually, I don't want to sully their name because I do love the company, Solo Stove. But guess what? If anyone could do it, they could. You could warm your bottom as you relieve yourself. No, I am going to tell you that I check it out on Amazon.

13:50There's incredible inventions out there. They have beautiful toilets, porcelain toilets that weigh hundreds of pounds that you can take camping. And then you pull a chain when you're done. Oh, OK. Yeah. You don't strike me as like the camping, roughing it tight. I don't. I did a lot of camping back in the day when I was a young lad. What day? Well, it would be when I was a young 'un. I was sent off to Freedom, New Hampshire, and I hiked all of the White Mountain Range, all the presidentials. And I did a ton of hiking and mountain climbing when I was a kid. So, yeah, I did. And I was a lean machine back in that day.

14:30then time went on time marched on and I became the sad sorry figure you know no but no I I would like to camp I will say that no one in my family is that interested in it but I have taken my kids camping a bunch of times I just feel like if we decided to camp here Gourley and I would be out here in like sleeping bags and you'd be inside on like a really comfortable bed that you would have brought in that's not fair I would be at the Four Seasons Hotel Oh, look! Paparazzi! Paparazzi! Helicopter! It's a cop! Leave me alone! I'm just a person! You know what the problem is? They always think I'm Prince Harry.

15:12They see a really... Yes, they always see a really good-looking ginger. Certainly not. Shut up. And then they're like, there's Prince Harry. And it's like, please, leave me alone. I'm a person. Yeah. I know I've given a lot to this country with my comedy and my stylings, my rap, but... Your rap? But anyway, I'm sorry for the occasional chopper, but that's just what comes with the territory. We're outside where the paps can get a good look at. Yeah. Alfresco. This is living. Yeah, this is really nice. I'm just going to take another sip. Who needs a little topper off? I might need her a little bit more.

15:56Okay. So first of all, you just failed a sobriety test. Three minutes into. I feel perfectly fine. I know you look terrific. I know, I feel perfectly fine. And I believe you gendered your drink. It's a hurt. I like that. It's like a ship. Do you want some more, boss? I'm looking at the ice and it's Sam Elliott and his face is melting. Yeah, you can put some more in there. Okay. No, I would very much like to go. I like to sleep in a tent. I really do. I enjoy that life. And I've loved the times that I've gone camping with my kids. Okay. So I, you know, I think you're wrong on all counts. Okay. I don't think I am.

16:33You are. Okay. All right. Bye. Okay. And also, I'm really good at a camping breakfast. Are you? Yes, I am. I know how to make. I brought a little portable, like, heat-up skillet last time I went. I bought and I made a lot of pancakes for my kids. And then other kids came who were nearby and I made a lot of pancakes for them. I'm just saying, I know I'm a failure at most things, but I do very well at a campsite. Who are these other kids? They were actors I hired. The sad thing is they were child actors from a long time ago. So when they showed up, they were all in their 40s and 50s. Remember me on Eight Is Enough?

17:12Oh my God. What are you doing here? Yeah, Jason Bateman. Yeah, this is lovely. It's really nice out here. I'm going to throw another log on the solo stove. Oh, nice. Man, that's the great thing about solo stove. Whoops. Wow, that was not graceful at all. It doesn't have to be graceful. Yeah. I'm sorry. The way that they've designed it, it's just, I mean, I love that there's no smoke. Whenever I sit around a fire, the smoke is always blowing on my face because the smoke is like, oh, look, it's him. And it comes towards me. smoke always goes towards the A-lister in the room.

17:49I can't believe that you spun it. I swear to God, I've gone camping with Jason Bateman and the smoke is blowing in his face and then I sit down next to him and it switches over to me. No. It does. I'm sorry. Right now the smoke is heading towards a plant. No, the smoke did not enjoy the ending of Ozark. What is your beef? With Jason Bateman. He sent, if you knew the things that Jason Bateman has done to me over the years, he's made it a mission to ruin my life. So this is lovely. And you know what I have to say, Gorley, you're the consummate professional in every way. You have that, you look great.

18:30Look at him. Look at the way he's all dressed up. Sona, no offense. You're wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. Okay? It's fine. I didn't know we had to dress up for camping. You have to dress up, but you're Brando in Streetcar Named Desire. And then over here is the professor. He's professorial. I'd rather. He's Henry Higgins. I mean, I don't want to be Brando in Streetcar Named Desire, but that's a better comparison than a professor. I just think if you, like, when's my transmission going to be done? You know? What do you think the damage is? I didn't know there was a dress. What about you? Don't I look nice?

19:07Look at me. Don't I look nice? who does that hey aren't you late for your feud with the sharks that's a sweet burn is it if that's a sweet burn what's that story reference you guys are the biggest dweebs aren't you late hey stay gold pony boy like there's a time for me to go rumble aren't you late for your feud notice I said feud not rumble just a general distaste for the sharks. Like today at 4 p.m. You're going to go feud with the sharks. Look, I think you look fantastic, Tony. You know that. I'm just saying you didn't go all out. That's all. I didn't know we had to go all out. This is an audio medium.

19:53I bought this shirt like half an hour ago. Did I not? You were with me. You did. I walked into a store and I said, I've had the same look all day. We've been on camera talking to different people. I need to change it up. I spent my own money to buy this beautiful shirt. And yeah, this sent me back$110. Really? Yeah. What's it made of? You said really? Yeah. It's made of gold. No, I don't think it was$110. I think it was$10. Anyway, it... I want to talk about these pants. You've got these kind of like fringe cut off pant legs. What's going on here? Okay. You guys are really bringing your A game to this.

20:35Hey, Sona, can I tell you something? when a couple of guys go camping, the man side of us comes out. And then we start talking about the wonderful blue top that I bought. And then we talk about my jeans from Schaefer Garment Hotel. Oh, that's that, like the John Wick Hotel where you go and - No, it is the place where, remember years ago I was doing something and our good friend - Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum. I said, Jeff, you're a similar build to me and you always look impeccable. those jeans are amazing but oh oh my boy oh and he started touching my face and going oh oh oh schaefer garment hotel oh oh and then he became the fly and he buzzed away um but yeah there's a it's an amazing place in hollywood and they make jeans that fit a man of my proportions other than that i'd have to go to the circus yeah anywho um you asked and i answered you two are really rugged guys.

21:36We are rugged guys. Yeah. No, no, you are. Just a couple men's men. I'm loving it out here. I'm having a good time and no one's going to take me down. You know what? The sky is a lovely teal blue. Well, it's changing now. It's not teal. It's a turquoise now. It's a turquoise. Really? I think it's a dim periwinkle. Okay. That's your rap name. Here he is. Dim periwinkle. Hey, hey, yo, yo. I'm bringing it.

22:09I always thought the worst rap name, you know, would be Podacrem. For like, for a rapper who wanted to, who, you know, had been like shot 15 times and like had a ton of street cred, but his name was Podacrem. And Bananas Foster. And Bananas Foster. What's Podacrem? Podacrem is like a pot of heavy, rich chocolate cream. Okay. It's a very fancy, rich dessert. You wouldn't understand it unless you'd gone camping with us, you might know. Oh, okay. Or if you grew up in the hood, you'd know about the great rapper Pau de Creme. This rum is so delicious. Various Caribbean escapades I've had in the past.

22:49Yes, various trysts in the Caribbean that I've had. Let's see. Did I ever have a tryst in the Caribbean? Ooh, what would you... Coming up empty. I know. Coming up negative balance.

23:07I'm having a good time and you know what I'm looking forward to seeing where this where this adventure goes because this is just the start of the evening that's right there is more to come this is just the beginning the next episode the sky will have turned I'm gonna say a dark dark navy blue with just a touch of slate yeah holding my breath yeah but also I can't wait but listen we're gonna make pizzas I'm told and we're gonna make them in this incredible invention, which boggles the mind. And as you listen, you're going to hear Sona lose more and more control of herself because you have to admit, Sona, you cannot hold your drink.

23:46You can't hold your liquor. I don't drink as much as I used to. I dabble in the ganj now. Okay. And so I don't... Is that your rap name? I dabble in the ganj? Yeah. Yeah, sure. That'll be my... That's not cool, though. But yeah. So I don't drink as much as I used to. But even when you drank a lot, if you would have very little, you would get tipsy and often abusive towards me. Oh, yeah. I think that I used drinking as an excuse to get abusive, but I wasn't that bad. You weren't that bad. You've always been a consummate professional, he said, lying through his face. But the important thing is you need to stay tuned because Sona is going to lose control.

24:28She's going to be saying, yeah. Remember last year? yeah i know that's why i'm i'm sipping that's your beverage you're on your second yeah and it's the first episode i'm yes well i'm sorry you're on your second and we it's our first night outside it's your first crack at the first night are you trying to convince people how are you doing yeah what are we what are we doing because didn't we do one in studio yes we did i thought i was being very responsible and actually on track oh keeping track of everything yet I'm accused of being the drunkard. Well, you said our second night outside? No, I fixed it.

25:02I did my best to make sure that everything was on track. I'll say that again. Okay. Oh, you got to leave that in. Okay. Because he messed up. I don't think I did actually. I don't know. You're going to listen to it again and realize that what I said was the correct thing but you guys weren't thinking. I know. And then you'll be embarrassed. I'm not going to lie. I already forgot what you said. Let me just put this in. I don't even remember what we're talking about. Two options. You are so right, Conan. You are so right, Sona. and then I can splice that in nicely. Okay. Terrific. Well, I'm glad we're all here together.

25:32Yeah. I've always wanted to be with my best friends. Your chill times? Well, they were unavailable. Oh. But then I got you guys. But I'm here in a building that I own