Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 4 Episode 2

0:00Solo Stove and Whistlepig Whiskey have joined forces to introduce Camp Stock, a limited edition wheat whiskey. that's aged in barrels toasted by Solo Stove, the world's favorite fire pit. On the rocks, neat, or in a s'mores old-fashioned, camp stock wheat whiskey with its notes of graham cracker, baking spices, and vanilla is the perfect fireside drink for summer nights. Cheers to whiskey flavored by the flame and savored by the flame. Please remember to pig out responsibly. This episode of Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend is sponsored by L.L. Bean. Summer's all about getting outside for quality outdoor clothing, gear and accessories, turn to L.L.

0:37Bean, the expert for over a century. They got camp chairs, campsite organizers, blankets, coolers, plus got the stylish yet durable clothes you need for all types of weather, including their famous bean boots. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chumps, a six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsassian, and Matt Corley. Let's get started. Well, we're out of the studio and into the night. What? Sure. I want to paint a picture because I think that's what one must do in this medium.

1:19I want to let our fans know that this is a very special summer s'mores, chill chums, whatever you want to call it, because not only are we out of the studio, we were at Sona's house. Yeah. And Sona's house is in Altadena, California. This is not a long jaunt for you, is it, Gourley? Because you live in Pasadena. Right. It was 15 minutes door to door. Okay. Let me... It was so nice. Do you mind? I didn't know you were going to talk about how far it is to come here. Is it okay if I explain my journey? My journey began six days ago. A series of buses. Three horses died underneath me. There was a period on foot.

1:58I took a ship. it's absolutely incredible. I went, first of all, from my house to our studio. Now, you guys know that I live on an abandoned oil rig that's off the shore of Santa Monica. And I live there because of my great wealth and my eccentricities. And most of the time, you just wear a hard hat and cut off jean shorts and that's it out there? Yeah. And I actually, you know, for a while I lived there just to be eccentric. And then I realized I might as well get some oil out of this. So I often just work there getting the oil out of the seabed. And I make a good money that way. Anyway, I go from western part of Los Angeles.

2:35Yes. And then I go to Larchmont. And that only got me like a quarter of the way to here. Did you try driving in a car? I did. Okay, because you were talking about a bus and a horse. Yeah. And I'm just curious if you tried getting into an automobile. I guess I was allowing my comedic flights of fancy to get the better of me. Oh, that was supposed to be funny. It was very funny, hence all the laughter. We speak a different language of comedy up here in the mountains. So anyway. I'm sorry. I didn't know that's what you were going for. That was really funny. It took a long time to get here. It took a long time to get here.

3:10But you know, there's two of us that live here. You're the one that lives far, not Sona. Yeah, you live far. And you know what? I commute to Larchmont all the time for work. And it's not that bad. I think it's this time of day. There was a lot of traffic. Also, you're sick. I'm fine, actually. No, yours sound very sick. And I think when you're sick. Bad show business, guys. You're not well. No, when you get sick, you get very like complaining about things. You're not well. It's bad show business. You never tell people that you're not well. I got a little bit of a chest cold about a week ago. Normally, I wouldn't say anything about it.

3:43People can hear your voice. What's that? People can hear your voice. You don't sound normal. I don't sound normal. I actually sound better, probably. You do sound a little sexy. You know what? Whenever I get a cold, I sound the way I should sound as a man. Really? Yeah. I have kind of a rasp to my voice. It is pretty cool. Yeah. I wish I smoked. But anyway, I'm feeling much better now. I just still got a little bit of the rasp. Make my day. Yeah. Remember that one? Yeah. Why'd you ask him? Everybody remembers that one. You were too young. It's a famous line. You remember that? Yeah, but I think you don't have to be older to know that that's a famous line.

4:23Make my day. Remember when Reagan used that? Remember when he tried to use it in one of his speeches and it was a big hit? That I don't remember. He said, if you think Congress is going to try not to pass that bill, make my day. So sexy. Do you remember that, Matt? I kind of remember that. Okay. So sexy. Well, it took us on a bad road. You're losing even me now. Okay. Wait, so now that you're here, though, you made it. What do you think? It's nice to be up in the mountains here, isn't it? Uh, sure. Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you. I drove, I was driven here in a very tiny car. Wait, you're complaining and you were driven here?

5:00Well, when you hear which car I was in. I was in David's car. Now David drives a car. I looked up his car. His car is technically a croissant on wheels. It's a tiny little machine. What is the make and model? It's a BMW, but they don't even put the B. It's just the MW. you it's just murder works he drives a mini cooper no i know he does he got a mini cooper that's cut in half it's a roller skate yeah model i you know several times his car has been mistaken for a breath mint on the highway and so david was driving me and so i am crammed next to him he's driving and then David proceeds to tell me some very upsetting news now you'd think his job would be to calm me on the ride over I'm talent yeah first of all he should have rented like a limo or something but no we're in his and was David to drive that limo would he be in a little chauffeur's cab yes I would wear a hat and a glove I would make him wear a very tiny chauffeur's hat but David went on David told me that he he said oh Conan you know this the site Dumois yeah where they have celebrity sightings he said on Dumois David do you want to step over here for a second it's fine it's really it's there's a microphone right there David's here he just unfolded himself from the car David is your car okay or did a bird eat it everything's fine okay all right okay you told me first of all that Dumois listed a couple of celebrity asks when they travel hotel requests they go to a hotel room and you listed two and then you had what is supposedly mine.

6:41Yeah. So can you do the other two first and then mine? So it's like J-Lo requested a bathtub full of Evian water. Oh. Where's the other one? I've heard that about Nicole Kidman. Things are turning into urban legends. Keep going. Let's see. Anyway, there was another one. John Travolta requests a VCR and blackout curtains. And then you go to Conan and it says, Conan requests a basket of muffins. Basket of muffins. Now first of all Sona You've worked with me Many years I've never requested A basket of muffins I don't mind That they make stuff up That's part of the game I know it But can't they make up Something that's kind of cool I know I don't know That seems pretty On point for you A basket of muffins A basket of muffins With this photo Of you holding your vinyl Oh my god Conan requests A basket of muffins You're the least threatening person in show business.

7:36Picture me, you know, crammed into this tiny clown car. Apologies to BMW. With David. And David says, oh, and I've got some news for you. And he tells me that the world, because all the world knows about Dumois, thinks that I'm some muffin addict. Hold up in a hotel room. Just gorging my fat Irish face with muffins. and then we're driving and driving and driving and I'm watching these hawks circle circle our little chicklet of a car because they think it's a breadcrumb rolling down the highway you know and then so I was in a bad mood when I got here what if it said like oh you request like you know a bag of dildos you know they don't come in bags they come in packages of four They come in steel suitcases.

8:31Well, I'm just saying, like, I wouldn't want to be the Avion person because that just makes you sound like a dick. But, like, a basket of muffins. Hey, you're a nice guy. No, but I'd like it to be like... You're the muffin man. You're a muffin guy. You're the muffin man. No, I would want it to be Conan... Now I know the muffin man. The muffin man. The muffin man. Stop it. Stop it. He wants the autobiography of General Ulysses S. Grant, a copy of it in his room, and, like, a shot of tequila. that. That's what I want people to think about me. But you want that every time you travel? How many biographies of U.S.

9:04grand are you going to read? You can read that thing again and again and again. It's such a good story. But now you realize you're going to start getting baskets of muffin in your dressing rooms wherever you go. I know. That's pretty cool though. That is cool. I think that there's... I don't want a basket of muffins. Does an egg McMuffin count as a muffin? No, I don't think so. It's a McMuffin. Once you put a Mick in front of something, it's not that thing anymore. You know? A corn McCob is not a corn on the cob at all. it's just a rule. Okay. Mick takes away all the properties of the noun that follows it.

9:36Yep. We're here in Altadena. That was... Wow. And... That's the Muppet. Wow. It really is so stupid. So we are here... Oh, you know what's really cute? How did we get to that point? You know what's really cute? And I like to look around me and observe things because that's what's made me a good broadcaster. I'm a broadcaster. Is that right now I just looked and the curtains parted and two angelic faces looked out. Right after you just yelled out bag of dildos. I know. My kids can never listen to this podcast. Sona's twins, Mikey and Charlie, are peering out the window and I'm waving at them and they're wondering why is Jane Lynch waving back at them from the yard?

10:16Hi guys. They're there. They're staring at us. They're probably very excited. They were very proud to show me their room. Yes. They showed me their room. Every time they get something new like a pillow they need to show, everybody they're so boring right now terrible thing to say you see your children who wants to see a pillow do you know how many people they showed their blankets to like okay it's a blanket i think it's because it's them and they're they've never like had new things like new blankets before so it's exciting you're underestimating him though because all he wants to do is sit and look at muffins they have so few things just that's probably why they treasure them That's not true.

10:54They have very little. My kids are very well taken care of. They're in a good place. Well, you know, you each will have one toy and a cookie at Christmas and that's about it. You run a strict household. It's beautiful here, though. It's very nice. There's a nice marine layer. Would you call that a marine layer? I don't know. Can you? Okay, you're a fun group. Oh, I'm sorry. We're not talking about the marine layer. Sorry, there's not a bag of muffins here for you. You're really starting the party here with the marine layer. let's talk more about the weather you came in so cranky and you're getting on us I know because you're sick and that's what I'm saying you get cranky when you're sick you do not harp on people being sick you don't do that in show business you don't we're in show business and that's where we're different I grew up in show business show business is in my blood you hijacked show business your mom's a lawyer my dad's not a real doctor I asked to see his certificate you get a lot of mumbling and shumbling No, but, you know What?

11:53Would you got something? No, I was going to say again how you're sick Because you sound sick And then you get grumpy when you're sick sometimes Not at all, I'm in a good mood Not only did you have to drive far to get here I think you started in an angry spot I don't think I started in an angry spot I think my staff They've been squeezing me a little bit lately Whoa! You're blaming your staff? Yes, all great leaders blame their staff Stalin shot every staff he ever had. Listen, did I fly to New York to do the Upfront? Sure. Did I fly back and do a podcast the next day? Yes, I did. Am I constantly shoved around and told, go here, go there?

12:31Yes, I am. I give and I give and I give. And what do I get out of it? What do I get out of it besides great wealth? And a series of properties that are just stunning. I think that everyone here owes me an apology. Nobody owes you an apology. Okay. But I'm glad you came here Yes That was all a prelude to me saying Thanks for having me over Oh, that's where we ended up I'm sorry I don't have muffins for you But I'm really glad you're here Well, I got here as soon as I could It takes a while longer when you're in a car As small as David's The wheel has to turn 15 times Every time that a normal wheel would turn once

13:26L.L. Bean's clothing accessories are staples all year round, like the classic L.L. Bean boat and tote bag. You can monogram that, by the way. But this summer, there's so much use that can come out of their outdoor gear, like L.L. Bean's campsite organizer. You ever use one of those? It's great. You're sitting next to one. Yeah, you're using one right now. That's the organizer. That's amazing. I know I'm pointing to it. This portable organizer features three shelves for storing camping or picnic gear, camping utensils, grilling tools, and more. It's perfect anywhere you want to keep gear in order, because I need my gear in order, and Gourley, I'm guessing you do too.

14:02I like a good gear order. I need gear. No, okay. Take it easy. Yeah. It comes with a carry bag, so you can just throw it into the car with all the rest of your campsite accoutrement. Just don't forget the L.L. Bean insulated camp tumbler. it's a great choice for hot or cold drinks I got a cold one in here right now when you're sitting around the campsite you want to keep the hot hot and the cold cold I like it because it's a nice size it's a nice size perfect the double wall vacuum insulation keeps beverages hot or cold for hours you know when I'm out in the woods or Altadena no I like to have first of all L.L.

14:39Bean clothing is great I like the clothes they have I do too but I like all their stuff And as you know, I'm a New Englander, so I grew up with L.L. Bean. You know, it's just part of it. Do you hear that bird in the background? The bird's going, L.L. Bean, L.L. Bean, L.L. Bean, L.L. Bean. Even the birds are into it here. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912. Solo Stove is back as a sponsor for their third year in a row. And yes, there's still no smoke with a Solo Stove fire pit. People don't think a smokeless fire was possible, but Solo Stove did think it was possible.

15:19That's why it's the world's favorite fire pit. All Solo Stove fire pits are so easy to light, portable, come in variety of sizes and colors to fit any and all fire pit situations and tastes, and come with a lifetime warranty. At Solo Stove, the future of fire is smokeless. Head to solostove.com and use promo code CONAN20 to get$20 off your order of$200 or more. Big pig news. We've got Whistlepig Whiskey as a sponsor. Whistlepig transformed an off-the-grid Vermont dairy farm into one of the world's leading whiskey distilleries. Whistlepig is famous for their award-winning whiskeys that are aged longer than any other American whiskey, some waiting in the barrel for decades.

15:58They're also known for pushing the boundaries of bold flavor with wildly experimental whiskey making, like their new Whistlepig Camp Stock Wheat Whiskey, aged in barrels, toasted by Solo Stoves. Good Lord! Third, product integration. There's nothing better than a bottle of great whiskey around the campfire in the summer. We'll be sipping it with s'mores in hand. Here's a toast to Whistlepig, the whiskey of the summer. Find Whistlepig whiskey at shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com or at your local bar or liquor store. Please remember to always pig out responsibly. He he he he he he he he he.

16:42Did it specify what kind of muffins or just a basket of muffins? It just said basket of muffins. It just said basket of muffins? Yeah, someone's pulling my chain at Dumois. That's so weird. You know, I like that it has to be in a basket. That feels almost like fairytale. Muffins are always in a basket. Can you just make shit up and send it to them and just be like, oh, this person needs, you know. Yeah, David, is there a way to correct Dumois? We can DM them. The only other thing you're always on there, it's either the basket of muffins or you eating sushi. Well, I do eat a lot of sushi. That one's true.

17:14What about a basket of sushi? They're 50-50. I'm just saying, can we make stuff up about people and send it in and just be like, I know that so-and-so requests, you know, whatever. This feels like Gossip Girl. Yeah. I don't think, I mean, it's not the Washington Post. You know, it's not. They're not fact-checking. Yeah, they're not fact-checking. Also, people are loving, if it's true, the muffins in the comments. People are really happy. Well, then I'm going to double down on it. I loves me muffins. I loves me muffins. Tell us a little bit about Altadena because the whole point of making this a special podcast and us being outside and spending, I think, a fortune to have everyone come here and travel great distances to set up cameras and microphones and what appears to be a solo stove.

18:00And if it's not a solo stove, I don't want to be near it because I will only be near a solo stove. Oh, God. Those things are fantastic. Yeah. Solo stove. Best stove you can have outdoors. Solo stove. Tell us a little bit about Altadena. Do you know anything about its history? I don't. Oh, okay. All right. It's north of Pasadena. There's horses that come here all the time. Every once in a while, I can hear a pack of coyotes killing an animal, and it's a horrifying sound. Are they killing them? Coyotes attack animals, and you can hear it. Oh, you can hear it. What does it sound like?

18:37and then it's just silence we get that on my street too in Pasadena doesn't it sound like just like screaming it's vicious it's awful it's like something that'll like traumatize you so we hear that a lot and then there's just you know there's always animals there's bears and there's you know bobcats sometimes I love wild animals no you don't I don't think you do Do you really like wild animals? Yes, I think it's cool. I love being around nature. I think it's neat. I think it's neat to be in your house and know that there's just animals out there roaming around. It's cool. Do you go camping? You don't...

19:12Have we talked about it? Have we talked about him going camping? I don't know if we've talked about... Do you go camping? Like, did you go tent in a... What? Sona? Are you okay? Sona. Have you ever slept in a tent? Touch your finger, your index finger to your nose right now. I'm totally fine. Okay. Have you ever slept in a tent, in like a sleeping bag? Of course I have, yeah. When I was a kid, I went to camp. I know, and you boiled your legs on a tin boat or something. Yeah, I boiled my legs in a canoe. Yeah, I went to camp many years up in New Hampshire. Okay. Went to a camp in Maine. But did you ever go camping of your own accord, like with friends or family?

19:48I mean, of my own volition. Yes. Do I? Is there a difference? Does accord not work for volition? No, accord works perfectly. I just gave you a synonym. I don't know what the problem is. All I did was give you another word that was also valid. What's wrong with that? That's fun. That's saying, yeah, I see what you... That's fun! Yeah, I'm going to give you a different word for fun. That's a dick move. It's not a dick move. It's fun. You said you go over to court of my own volition? Well, of course I do. That's just two guys having fun with one of the greatest languages ever invented. When did you just become the human thesaurus that nobody asked for?

20:23Have you gone camping of your own volition? Yes, I did. Yeah, I have. And I also took my kids camping. So, yeah. Were you glamping or were you camping? Define glamping. You're in a yurt and there's a refrigerator. No. Did you pitch your own tent? Have you gotten a tent? Why are you smiling? Why are you a 12-year-old boy? Have you ever pitched your own tent? Stop laughing. What is wrong with you? Stop laughing. You're a grown man. I'm not even laughing that much. I don't even know how else to ask that question. Have you ever gotten a boner?

21:02That I've proven is much, that's much more difficult than pitching a tent. Pitching a tent is relatively easy. Getting an erect penis is a whole other, that takes a lot of pullies and struts. Counterweights. You need counterweights. You need to get a lot of other people involved. You hold that end. A lot of other people. You hold that end. You hold this end. This is good fun. See? Now we're cooking. We're cooking really good now. People don't do that in show business. Say what? They don't say, hey, guys, this is real good fun. Sure they do. Hey, I gave you a synonym. That's funny. They do when they're not well.

21:37Yeah. You're doing things we don't do in show business. Yeah, you sure knows your show business, Sona. I sure knows it. I love the air here, too. Smells like fire. It does sort of smell like a fire. Well, that might be the solo stove. But you know what's cool about the solo stove? And we haven't even gotten to the ad part of the solo stove. I know. There's no smoke. Beautiful. What a beautiful design. I don't know who did it. I did it. I hope they get a Nobel Prize. No, I didn't. I didn't design it. Let me ask you something. Do you know your neighbors? I do. Do your neighbors know that you're recording a pretty well-known podcast right here in your yard?

22:12My friends who live two houses down, I told them. Are they going to come by? They wanted to, but I didn't know how to do it where it wasn't awkward. What do you mean? They can just come and... They're just going to come and stand here? Yeah, and I'd sign an 8x10 for them. Oh, come on. Not of me. That's weird. Of who? I don't know, like the star of Hawaii Five-0, the new one, not the old one. The new Hawaii Five-0. Daniel Kim? There you go. Daniel Kim. I often sign his headshot. People get really confused. Did you ever see the episode of the new Hawaii Five-0 where they CG Jack Lord into it? It's some of the worst CG you've ever seen.

22:48You know, I grew up on the original Hawaii Five-0 with Jack Lord, and Jack Lord was the inspiration for my hairstyle. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, I used to see his hair, it was all piled up. and he always had a little coil going forward. And I remember as a kid going, I wish I lived in Hawaii and was a detective and had that haircut. Well, one of those things came true. I got the hair. And then, all these years later, I'm talking to one of my heroes on the podcast and I forget who it was, but it was so many heroes. I think it was Nixon. No, I was talking to, you know who I think it was? It was Kurt Russell.

23:26I was talking to Kurt Russell and Kurt Russell was a child actor and he was on that Hawaii Five-0 and he said he did a scene with Jack Lord and Jack Lord didn't have his wig on and I said, what? and he went, yeah man, that was a piece so my hair hero, my hair that I've spent my lifetime perfecting and crafting is based on a sham. What if your hair just all fell out at that moment? At that moment it just fell off it's like the coyote realizing he's standing on nothing and he looks at the camera and falls so anyway, now there's a new Hawaii Five-0. Who's Jack Lord? He's the first Felix Leiter, Sona.

23:59Oh, right. Okay. I thought Don Johnson was in. No, was that Miami Vice? Yeah. Okay. It's not the same show. It sounds like it is. It's across. It couldn't be farther in the union. Hawaii and Miami couldn't be farther apart. But they're both sunny. And aren't they both detectives? So I know one of them, they roll their shirt, their jackets up. Yeah. That's Hawaii Five-0. No, that's Miami Vice. That's Miami Vice. Exactly. Don Johnson. Okay. And have you seen Don Johnson? Here's my point. My point is that Hawaii Five-0, a show from the 60s and it goes into the early 70s. Miami Vice, show from the 80s.

24:38There you go. Jack Lord, star of the show in the original Hawaii Five-0. My hair was basically based on his hair. And then it turned out to be a sham. Now there's a new Hawaii Five-0. And you say that they tried to put Jack Lord, who I'm sure has been dead for a long time. It's insane because they didn't have much of a budget The CG is god-awful, and one of the main guys is talking to him in a really dark room. You have to watch it. Anybody that's listening to this has to see it. I want to see it the minute this podcast is over, if we can get electricity up here. I want to plug something in. No, no, we'll use your generator, whatever.

25:16It's a normal place. Altadena's a normal place. It's a normal city. That's what the sign said when I entered. It said, Altadena, a normal place. just like the other places. Just like all the other places. Established 2014. What's our elevation here? Do you know your elevation? No. Oh, for God's sake. What kind of life do you live? Who knows their elevation? Do you know your elevation? Yep, A-lister. Okay. Mic drop. So anyway. Sorry. Yeah, anyway, I know my neighbors. Me, DiCaprio and J-Lo. 1 ,358. What's that? 1 ,358 feet. How did you find that out? Did you just look it up? Yeah. Sometimes people have it on their watches.

25:55Oh, no, I looked it up. Okay. Sometimes a watch will tell you. That's great. An Apple watch sometimes tells you. You really lead us down to very fruitful places. I think I lead us to many great places. Yep, I'm a good leader. Like that synonym thing you did. That was really good. What's that? Anyway. Own a cord? No, let's not rap yet. You want a synonym for rap? Shall we conclude? And shoot this thing in the fucking head. Can I talk about how my pillow flew into my neighbor's yard from a windstorm and I was too scared to ask them for it back? You told me this the other day, and I don't understand why you were so scared.

26:28When was the last time you went to your neighbors and said, hey, something went over, and I need to get it? I would walk over there. I'd ring the doorbell. I know both my neighbors, and I'd say, hi, my pillow fell into your backyard, and I need to retrieve it. Yeah, it doesn't seem that strange. Why is it weird for me? I just got so scared. Is it still there? No, we got it. After a month of me and Tack going back and forth about who was going to go get it, I finally got it. It's so weird that you guys would be so afraid to confront your neighbors. They must be absolute monsters. They're so nice.