Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 4 Episode 4

0:00Solo Stove and Whistlepig Whiskey have joined forces to introduce Camp Stock, a limited edition wheat whiskey. that's aged in barrels toasted by Solo Stove, the world's favorite fire pit. On the rocks, neat, or in a s'mores old-fashioned, camp stock wheat whiskey with its notes of graham cracker, baking spices, and vanilla is the perfect fireside drink for summer nights. Cheers to whiskey flavored by the flame and savored by the flame. Please remember to pig out responsibly. This episode of Conrad or Brian Needs a Friend is sponsored by L.L. Bean. Summer's all about getting outside for quality outdoor clothing, gear and accessories, turn to L.L.

0:37Bean, the expert for over a century. They got camp chairs, campsite organizers, blankets, coolers, plus got the stylish yet durable clothes you need for all types of weather, including their famous bean boots. For the best outdoor products, tips, and inspiration, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums, a six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsassian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Episode four, summer s'mores, Altadena. It's hot dog time. All right. We're going to roast some weenies, I think they're called. Yeah. These are, by the way, handsome roasting tongs.

1:21What are they called? Spears? Tines? Skewers? Skewers? Yeah, skewer. That's the word. Here, take this guy. Okay, thank you. Thank you. roasting some hot dogs here and we're roasting them over. I've never roasted a hot dog over a fire. You haven't? No. And you don't get a real Christmas tree? Okay. She's roasted fake hot dogs. Now, the principle, correct me if I'm wrong, a hot dog is already cooked, right? Right. So this is all, is it just aesthetic or is it for flavor? That's a good question. I guess it's just for flavor. Why is this fun for people who are listening? Sona you clearly don't understand what podcasts are all about my life has been podcasting oh okay and uh I think people love hearing us have experiences I think they like having a glimpse at the real life of us getting real you know is this us getting real yeah we're getting real what about what's that SSR what is it when noises ASMR ASMR I was thinking of a supersonic jet yes people may like hearing us eat a hot dog.

2:29I don't think... It might be a central experience. I don't think very many people like hearing others eat stuff. No, not much. I think they like, you know, I watched a video today of someone with long nails touching, like, some food. Here. Like mukbang? I'm going to toast my bun a bit. Why are you laughing so hard? Tanisha, what did I say? Because it was so random. Because I took a long time to just think of the word food. That's dumb. Are you guys done already? I'm trying to cook my... I have now put the whole hot dog and bun... It's going to catch fire. Will it? I just want it to toast up a bit.

3:06I'm with you. I like a toasty bun. I'm with you. I want to toast my bun. I think what I'm doing is kind of actually innovative. Let me explain. At home, I think I can... I've taken the two prongs of the skewer and I wedged the hot dog in between.

3:23Yes! The hot dog fell right out Oh yes Please explain what happened sir The hot dog slipped right into the flames As I was congratulating myself Oh my god that was amazing And you know what my favorite thing is My favorite thing is for things to go awry As someone is congratulating themselves It's the best oh and look The rest of the bun just fell apart Oh my god do you want condiments? Yeah I do I'm just going to toast up what's left of my bun Just going to toast that up. Oh, God, I love a hot dog. I could try again. Do you guys like hot dogs? You know what I like? Those street dogs that you can get when you're coming out of a bar or a club, and they're out there with the...

4:06Oh, yeah. Eduardo's nodding. He gets it. What's a street dog? I don't know what that is. They're out there. They have onions. They're out there. And they're out there. This is nice. Now, I'm going to get a little sentimental here. Oh. But what year were we in your backyard, Gourley? Was that last year or two years ago? Two years ago, right? Yeah. And that was nice. And now we're in Sona's backyard, which makes me think we'll be in my backyard someday. Will you let us go there? Well, I'll have to clear it with security in the area. We're going to have to zoom in. Whatever. I'll take care of it.

4:38This is so hard. I'll have to make calls. Because I have some pretty big deal names live in my neighborhood. And so they can't, you know, if you guys just drove in without clearance, that would be a whole disaster. You know what I mean? Would it? Yeah, I got to make sure that Joseph Gordon-Levitt's cool with you guys being in the neighborhood. You know. Chad Michael Murray. Chad Michael Murray. Saul Esposito. I guess got to make sure that everybody knows that you're coming. He's more of a sound technician, but very well known. Do you need these? The ketchup and the mustard? Just a little mustard, please.

5:08Oh, you want me to put it on there? Ah, fuck. Jesus. It's like you guys have never handled food before. Sona, what's your problem? This is hard to do it this way. You're such a train wreck with everything. My God. No, no, just in life. I didn't mean it that personally. I meant just every time you try to do anything, it's just a big mess and it's awful. Oh, my God. Right there. That's good. Thank you. Thanks, Gertz. You want some ketchup? No, no, you don't do ketchup on a hot dog, that's for sure. Not on my watch. What? No, no ketchup on a hot dog. What? That's crazy. That goes against the German tradition.

5:44Why are you guys nodding? that's not right that's not normal hot dogs aren't German you're thinking like bratwurst hot dogs are American you put ketchup on hot dogs in America you commie USA USA USA I don't think we're in the USA right now I think we left the American the borders of the United States about four hours ago I do love it here and I'm going to learn I'm going to make it my mission to learn more about this place they call Altadena this magical land it's lovely out here what are you going to learn about like the history and stuff yeah And just like, when are you going to get a postal service?

6:18That kind of stuff. I'm just curious. At some point, it's the government has to provide postal service here. It's what you pay taxes for. Do you pay taxes? How does it work here? Do I pay taxes? Yeah. Okay. All right. I just didn't know it. So, I mean, we're really out here. But you should look into it because you have a right. You have a right as a citizen to have like a postal truck. Why are you laughing? Maybe I'm close and you're far. Maybe you're far. Oh, for God's sake, no. Maybe you're far. No, no, no. I can roll out. I'm close. No, no, no. I can lean out my window and eat some of the best sushi in town.

6:52You just admitted pretty much that the only grocery store in Altadena closed three years ago. And you guys have to get, you have to portage a canoe to go and get basic goods. I did forget. I just told you that. I actually did tell you that. What's the name of the Baja what? Baja Ranch Market, which was the closest market to us, closed. Well, really the only market. You can drive far and go to another market. Yes, many people can say that. You can be anywhere on the continent and say you can drive far and there will be a market. So your defense of Altadena is crumbling left and right. What I'm trying to do is I am your advocate.

7:30I am telling you that you have the right to postal service. You should have a working phone. You should have irrigation. Awful. Those are things that you should have. You're entitled to them. You don't think we have irrigation up here? Well, what's that thing going on down the road? When we were driving up the road to get here, we passed over something that looked like an abandoned gully. What's that? What's going on there? I don't know. I think that's just a reservoir. No, it's not a reservoir because reservoirs have water in them. This looks like, does anyone know what I'm talking about? On the way up here, I've seen a lot of nodding.

8:04On the way up here, we, David, David, would you get to a microphone, please? Do you remember when I commented on it as we passed? In that tiny car that you call a car? Yeah, that I risked my life in riding with you, Sid. David, what did we see on the way up here? Just before we got to Sona's house. Yeah. What was it? Describe it. I don't know what it was. It was like a big... Remember in, if you watch Parks and Rec, whenever they fall down into that thing? It was like that. It looks like you're going to be walking and you're just going to fall into this... You're just going to go down, down, down.

8:35I love your generation. If you need to describe something, you name a random TV show and say, remember that thing in that TV show? It's like that thing. This is the guy that was talking about Jack Lord's hair from Hawaii Five-0. Well, using specifics. I want it to look like Jack Lord. Specifics. I didn't say, you know that thing that was in that show with the thing? Why do you act like you had a choice about what your hair would look like? I don't think I cooked this hot dog enough. The center just doesn't taste right. Are there more hot dogs? And you know what? It's important. We're not doing ads for the hot dogs, right?

9:09No. This is just a great ambiance. I don't like these hot dogs. Oh, no, this one's kind of weak ass. These are L.L. Bean hot dogs. Yeah, who got the hot dogs? No, no, who got the hot dogs? Did you get these from the closed Baja Fresh supermarket? Because you know what? When they close the supermarket, sometimes they don't throw out all the food. And I have a suspicion that Chalemi broke into a window and went into the long, unrefrigerated, refrigerated section and took hot dogs from the Eisenhower administration. That one looks less... Is that what they always look like? No, this looks different.

9:44What happened? Did you change the wieners on us? The first three were microwaved a little bit just to get a pre-cook going. Where were they microwaved? I don't have a microwave. Oh, Rao cooked them in the kitchen. He did something. I don't have a microwave. He cooked them in the kitchen. They said we microwaved them in Sona's kitchen and Sona just said, I don't have a microwave. That means that Rao put them in a shoebox. waited 30 seconds and then took them out of the shoe box. But these are just straight from the package. I would just cook them more. I'll do some of the chills. No, I can't eat another one.

10:17Are these like really good grade A hot dogs? This is the real deal. This is like a ballpark. I think you need another wood. These are the real deal. It's real deal hot dogs. You just want to make sure it's cooked all the way through. Really? Why? Could I get sick? No, you're fine. I mean, they're cooked. Hot dogs are cooked already. Yeah, that's what I thought. You're sicker. This doesn't taste right on the inside. But you're still eating them. There's a piece of jewelry in this. I love that you're complaining about it, but you're still eating it. That's the fun of a hot dog. I grew up in the Depression, meaning my mom was depressed.

10:55Everyone's laughing at that. That's terrible. It was bad at the time, but it's funny now. You need more on that, don't you? I don't know. You did it so quickly. I was roasting for a while. I like it the way I like it. You like a raw wiener. I think we have to go back to what did Rao think he was doing when he put the hot dog in a box in your house and waited. How do you reheat things in your house? We put them in the toaster oven. Oh, so that's what he did. But you got to put them in there for a while. He was in there for a while. It's not like you zap it for like a minute. He was in there for a while.

11:27Why don't you guys have a microwave? But these, the ones I just gave you right here, are not reheated. We don't do microwaves. Microwaves are not good. They don't have them at Altadena? No, do you think microwaves are unhealthy? I think they don't taste good when you reheat stuff with microwaves. They get mushy. I mean, what's worse than a mushy pizza that you reheat in a microwave? You can't put a pizza in the microwave, that's true, but there are many things you can put in a microwave. You could also just reheat it normally, and it takes like a minute longer. Okay. I guess you win this argument.

11:58I do, because you had no response. Yeah, I guess so. One point for Sona. I won that one. Yeah, take that one point and put it in that big empty jar of points. Big empty jar of points? Yeah. So the jar has a lot of points in it? No. Because you said it has a jar of points. Yeah. How is it empty if it's got a whole jar of points? Win that one again, put another one in my jar. Clang, echo, echo, echo, echo, echo, echo. I go thunk. And then it's like. That's three points you got in there. All the noise. I'm leaving. There's no more noise because it just goes thunk and it hits all the other points that I have.

12:30because all I do is win, win, win, no matter what. I have aqueducts. I have points that are just in aqueducts. And there's runoffs and channels. And points are just flowing everywhere. There's so many points. Your points never count because you give yourself points, and those aren't real points. But the world gives me points. Society gives me points. No, society's given you. Everybody here gave me those points. They didn't give you any points. I didn't see any point transaction. I have just waterfalls. There's an electric plant that's completely powered. Turbines are turning because my points are shooting through it all the time.

13:05All of Altadena is built with my points. This entire city didn't exist before I moved. Talk about building a castle upon sand. I mean, this is biblical. If Altadena is built on your points, everyone should flee this jurisdiction immediately. That's a terrible place to live. My neighbors are here. They live comfortably. I live comfortably. You know, you won't get home insurance the minute they find out your house is built on your points. I have so many points. You've got no points. You're so jealous. You've got nothing. I win all the time. It's like sometimes I'm just like, I'm so tired of winning all the time.

13:34You can see my points from space. How do I lose? If you're in an orbiter, you can see my points from space. And they're often mistaken for the city of Las Vegas because they're so bright and so shiny and so masked. I just, you know what? I just talked to an astronaut and they're like, those aren't real points. But Sona's points are real points. My points are real points. Your points are fake points. you give yourself. It's like when you say something that you think it's a joke and you're like, that was real funny because no one laughed. And then you're like, that was real funny. When I say something's really funny, I'm a professional.

14:03That means that's like 11 points right there. No, I think you're just sad because nobody's laughing and you're like, I'm just going to make myself feel better. I've never said something and not heard laughter and I don't know what that would sound like. You know what I mean? If I ever say something and there's no laughter, I would probably kill myself immediately. That's how used to laughter I am. I'm so used to laughter that the absence of it would probably cause my heart to liquefy and then explode. I have not laughed so many times. I not laugh. When I not laugh, I get more points. When I not laugh.

14:32Listen, Hulk, it's... Hulk, I like you, Hulk. You're good. Hulk, good. But Hulk, wrong about points. Conan, right about points. Hulk, wrong. I think... That's a nice sweater you're wearing. I'm going to change the subject just for a second. Points, points, points. But you have... No, points. But listen... That was so many points. But that's very nice. Gorley left a long time ago when nobody even noticed because we were having this stupid argument. Well, Gorley took a break. Okay. Wait, my sweater? You were complimenting me. Yeah, I was saying it looks nice. We're outside. It's getting a little chilly.

14:59Yeah. It would be chillier except we're being warmed by this solo stove, which is very nice. And also these lights. They have these bank lights here because we're also being filmed. It looks a little like when there's a crime scene and they're investigating it at night. You know the way they put those big lights up? I know. So that the guys can sort of do the forensics during the nighttime. Did you have a little stroll there? Yeah, I went home and took a nap and dreamt I was happy. Oh, and how'd that go? Well.

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16:03Yep, it has ruler marks on the lid to make it easy to measure your fish when you're fishing. Oh, that's... Hey, yep, very good, Gourley. L.L. Bean thinks about those details so you can sit back and relax in their easy comfort camp chair. Guess what? We're sitting in them now. These are really comfortable. They're easy and comfortable. Well, you know what's nice? A chair that's this comfortable, but then when you're done with it, you just pack it up, you take it with you. Unheard of. Unheard of! Yeah. This seat offers optimal comfort for the campsite with fast one-step setup so you can quickly kick back after a fun day.

16:36I love camping. I love getting out in the wild. This is nice to have all this stuff with us. It feels like we're really camping. I know. It's really nice. And it's comfortable. These chairs are really comfortable. It's very nice. For the best outdoor product tips and inspirations, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912. That's right, the year Reagan was born.

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18:33This is an exciting evening. We're here in Altadena. Sona's neighbors from down the street. Yeah. They're not your next door neighbors. No, they're two houses down. Are these the ones that you told me heard you talking? Yes, they've heard us before, especially when the boys are crying and stuff. They can hear, because we're allowed. We're allowed people. And sometimes our neighbors can hear us. And sometimes when I'm outside, I hear my family members, like when I'm down the street talking. Who's the loudest person in your family? I would say my mom. Between me and my mom. My mom. If you two, let's say, I'm sure it doesn't happen often, but let's say you two were to have an argument.

19:11It happens all the time. I know. I was being funny. Yeah. When you two argue, how loud does it get? It gets loud. I mean, imagine how I normally talk and imagine it amplified. I can't imagine it getting louder than what I've heard. But it probably does. Oh, yeah, it does. I can amplify. Yeah. So it gets loud. You can get loud, probably. Nah, not really. Kind of a quiet mouse. Quiet mouse. Oh, my God. Everyone's laughing. You're not a quiet person. He's just a guy that keeps to himself. Neighbors are always going to say he kept to himself. He was a good neighbor. We never knew he was going to snap.

19:50He kept his yard real neat. Didn't come to any of the social things in the neighborhood, but he's a fine neighbor. So that's me. That's the kind of guy I'd be. When you first moved into your place, did you want to make sure everybody knew they were living next door to you? Yeah. first of all, I complained because I was not on the map of the Starzones. I'm the only celebrity to ever do that. You called them and you were like, guys. I went there. Oh, no. Because I have a stand on Sunset Boulevard. And I said, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, I think there's a mistake here. And I showed them where I lived.

20:27You had a huge Conan sign outside your house like a car dealership. I said, and I told them, I said, you have the other celebrities that live in my neighborhood, but I'm not represented. and I told them exactly where I lived and I expected to see the bus at least five times a day. Yeah. Did you wait outside? Well, they first of all kept saying, and what is it you do and stuff like that. And they said, are you still on TV? And I said, that's not the point. I said, that is an irrelevant point, young man. You're not to speak back to me. And they were wondering why I was wearing a tuxedo. And yeah, I was upset.

21:01I thought I should be part of the tour. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry too. Yeah. you know other stars were on the tour what what's that sounds like a horse that's a horse that's a horse a horse just we have horses that just wait who's riding a horse the good horse people okay god you're good does that wait does that mean a person on a horse or people that are horse people like there's like a minute or a minotaur minotaur centaur centaur yeah wait you have centaurs No, no. Do people regularly ride horses up and down the street? Regularly they ride. There's an equestrian center, like not that far. Okay, that makes sense.

21:38And they ride horses, just chill up and down the street. That makes sense. And then a couple times there was horse poop in front of my house. Well, if you get horses, you're going to occasionally get horse poop. Yeah. They go hand in hand. But why isn't it like dogs? Why do we have to clean up dog poop? You don't have to clean up horse poop. It's a funny kind of thing. For some reason, horse manure is less offensive. I don't know why. That's true. People just feel like, yep, that's just some horse manure or whatever. Big deal. It's poop. It's on the street. Pick it up. Shovel it. No, you can't.

22:05Put it in a bag. I mean, have you seen them? They're huge. You'd have to have a truck driving behind you. No, it's just not feasible. All right. Look, work on getting a mail system first. Oh, okay. And then we'll get the poop off the streets. Okay? Fair? Good deal? No, I'm not going to agree with you. Thank you for the high five. No, no high five. I did not high five you. Yes, you did. For the record, there was no high five. Don't do that. And high five. Thank you, Sona. That's not how my hand would sound if I high five. Sona looks like we had a pretty good time I'm leaving again Are we filming this just so we can put out a clip of Conan high-fiving himself?