Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 5 Episode 6

0:03This episode of Conor or Brian needs a friend is sponsored by LLLBean. Just 15 minutes of outdoor time can make you feel happier and more energized. That's a fact. It's true. Ask any doctor, ask any noise, ask the lady with the alligator poise. Get out there and get your butt in LL Bean. LL Bean makes getting outside more comfortable and more fun with expert quality clothing and gear, towels, coolers, totes, and capping chairs. You'll be get up for your best day outside ever for the best outdoor products and to save 10 % on your order. Visit llbean.com slash Conan. outside together since 1912.

0:42This episode of Corner Brian Needs a Friend is sponsored by Hershey's. Guys, I'm going to ask you a question. What better way is there to make summer memories than having s'mores with Hershey's milk chocolate? None that I can pick of. There's nothing. Toasted marshmallows, melted Hershey's chocolate, crunchy graham crackers. The classic taste brings family and friends together for ooey, gooey, good times. And I'm saying that with a straight face. Yeah. And a college diploma, ooey, gooey, good times. Make s'more memories. See what I did this summer with Hershey's milk chocolate. Summer s'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums.

1:18A six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsassian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Welcome to the final installment of the 2025 Chill Chums with Conan the Goo Goo Gang. I'm talking summer s'mores, weekend chores. We had a great time. I mean, looking back on everything that happened, what a panoply of fun. Don't you think? Wow. I mean, from the moment I started to get very negative about the conduits. Oh, my God. That really, I mean. That was a hell of a way to kick it off. Yeah. I was shocked by the amount of electrical wiring that I saw on the back of our, by the way, very small yard.

2:10Yeah, we should talk about it more. Can I say something? I was envisioning it being much bigger. I thought, because maybe this goes back to my Irish roots, but I thought it's going to be like, ah, it's the old. It's the oldest state. And so imagine my surprise when I'm led back to a postage stamp. No. It's tiny back there. It is small. It's quaint. Yeah. It's a little small little space. But do you feel different about that conduit now that you see that it's on the other side of that wall and it's powering all of this majesty? Yeah. It just makes me wonder why more amazing stuff isn't happening in here.

2:47Because it looks like a nuclear reactor. I mean, the amount of conduit back there, it looks like something incredible's happening in here, and it's just three schlubs talking. I mean, I'm sorry, but you know what I mean? There's no 3D adventure here where we're like floating. Go ahead. So we can tame Sona's voice. Exactly. Yes. Oh, my God. Well, there you go. There you go. What the fuck? Jesus. More, we need more conduit. there were some real we had some good times there were some real highlights I mean first of all Dr. Arroyo showing up oh man and you know you always hope for a guest star someone big and I don't I can't imagine first of all I don't know how we got him to get Dr.

3:37Arroyo I think it's easy to get him we're just lucky to have him yeah exactly wow God it's always better he's such a he's great he's great he's such a terrible doctor and we learned that he's not actually a doctor it's just his first name is doctor yeah dr arroyo there's

4:00um yeah he's uh he he's fantastic and he says a lot about what's happened in the medical profession last couple of years yeah uh it was great having him uh your cocktail was fantastic yeah i have to say you've outdone yourself and to watch you craft these cocktails i mean it is like watching a mad scientist at work on his uh greatest formula yeah how long ago did you start learning that you could make a cocktail not too long ago i think when uh covid hit and i was depressed you know so you know what helps depression alcohol yeah we've all learned that So, and are you already thinking about what the cocktail will be next year?

4:44No. I bet you've had thoughts already. You seem like the kind of guy to be like, next year, a little more Negroni. The Coney Negroni. Oh, well, got it. Coney Negroni. Yeah, writing it on a piece of paper that will soon be thrown away. That's true. No, like you, I've been kind of scaling back my drinking, so I haven't thought about it. In fact, I planned this one the day before and I had to scramble to do it. And I had two different versions and I was tasting them and I truly got drunk the day before. And I couldn't tell if what I had made is good or not because it tasted good because I was drunk.

5:15It was good. Yeah. I can tell you it was good. But you were drunk too. I was. Yes, I was. I got drunk pretty quickly on this one. Chuggy, chuggy, chug, chug. Okay, let's talk cornhole. I mean. No, let's not talk cornhole. Cornhole could suck a dick. I'd rather talk about conduit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sona, you got really mad. Why? Why are you so competitive? First of all, I am naturally competitive. I'm fine losing. I hate losing to you. Not true. Yes, I do. I hate losing to you. You get smug. You will bring it up. Like in three years, you'll bring it up. I had forgotten I even won until I brought it up.

5:53I can see it on your face. I can't see anything. Yes, I can. I have no knowledge of who won that game at this moment. I forgot. Oh, okay, then Sona won. You know what, then I'm happy for you. No, don't do that. I am. Don't do that. If you won, I'm very happy for you. I don't remember. I honestly don't remember who won. These things aren't important to me. You know exactly what to do to, like, annoy me. You know exactly what to do. You, I don't want to talk about that game again. If you told me I won, then I'm happy that someone won. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Be nonchalant about it.

6:22Harness your chill. I'm angry. I can't. I'm so angry. Okay, so. This is what he wants you to do. I know. But what did you go home and relate your lost attack? Of course I did. And what'd you tell him? I said, I said, I said you cheated. What? I didn't cheat. How do you cheat at Cornhole? Do you put a magnet in the bag? I don't know. You did do psychological warfare. You did. I think that what really was upsetting to me was that I started off very strong. I know what happened. I shifted the side I was throwing from. I think about it all the time since it happened. You haven't really thought about this.

6:56I have. I started throwing from where you were throwing and then I shifted to the other side and that was my undoing. Your mistake was you were throwing. I was tossing. Tossing is the better way to go. Oh my God. You know what? I think what made my win impressive, it's coming back to me now and what a victory it was. What made it so impressive was, and you will back me up on this. I will not, whatever it is. Okay, I called it. I called it in great, Eduardo, you were a fan of this because I announced when I was deep, deep in the hole, way behind. I said, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to get way behind, but then I'm going to come surging back and I'm going to win at the last minute, which is exactly what happened.

7:37And it reminds me of a tale from baseball that might be one of baseball's greatest moments. Babe Ruth called a shot. You know the old famous called shot? Not the same. Babe Ruth pointed with his bat to center field and then proceeded to hit a home run there. And there's no photograph of it, but there's paintings of it, sketches of it. People have memorialized this. This is one of the greatest moments in American sports history. I think I did what Babe Ruth did. I called my shot. It was beanbag. It was cornhole. Maybe not as grand. How? You know what? Pixar didn't happen. If it happened, someone should have taken a picture.

8:16You shut the fuck up, Matt. No, I'm just trying to help you so you don't dig too deep. I'm talking about the Babe Ruth moment. Okay, I'm sorry. The Babe Ruth moment, it's been like memorialized in paintings conveniently there's no uh photo of it but we have video of me destroying you it's not destroying you didn't destroy me i think i think the thing is i lost focus you're trying to be a hype man you didn't i lost focus i really do hate losing yeah that's how people lose in sports that's called losing this is why i hate it this is the thing though you you act you i could have won but i lost focus you where's my last focus medal you know what diminishes your victory is your sportsmanship yeah it's non-existent you act like you don't care but you really want to win yes of course i do okay and also i think the listener the fan uh when i'm putting on a show with my raggaro show they they want to see me pull it out.

9:20Do you know they want to disagree? No, I think I think at least Sona owns her desire to win. And this affectation of you saying, I could take it or leave it. I'm just coasting above it all. Yeah. Above the fray. It's it's I'm not buying it. I'm not buying it either because I know I know you and I know how how like happy you were that you won. And it's just upsets me that I brought you a level of happiness. You were truly a different person after you won. Truly. Even After the recording, you were like talking to the trash cans at one point. Did you see that? Did you see that? I have so much else in my life.

9:54I have my friendship with Timothy Olyphant. Okay. I have, you know, we're pals. I have my imaginary friendship with Timothy Olyphant. You know, I have my accomplishments. And so I didn't need, that's the great thing is I didn't need that Cornhole win. But when it happened, I felt like I had risen to another level. You know? I hate this. We need a rematch. Yes! I'm down for a rematch. Yeah. The phrase sore winner comes to mind. Yeah. But also very sore loser. And I think that that's what I'm saying is I'm down for a rematch. And I'm going to train. Yes, train. I'm going to Rocky it up. You're my Apollo Creed.

10:41You're Drago? Ivan Drago? Ivan Drago? You're that guy. I'm the good guy. You're the bad guy. You're the bad guy. Yeah. You're the Soviet. I'm going to fuck you up. Yeah. There you go. And I'm your Mickey rock. I think in a world where Putin is in charge in Russia, maybe there's a yearning for the old, good old days of Drago. Maybe Drago's... As a villain. Yeah. Drago's now the good guy. Because they're like, you know... Oh my God. Drago you could deal with. Do you know what I mean? There's not one scene where Drago invades the Ukraine. Oh my God. You know, and tries to take territory that isn't his.

11:22We have to do this. And there's a training montage where you have all the technology and all the systems. My wrist is being injected with various chemicals. And Russian scientists are monitoring me. And you literally have actual dried beans in a sack and you're just flexing with them. In a meat locker. Hey, can I go off on a tangent here for a second? He said, knowing he could. Why is it, this always amazed me that if you watch all the Rocky movies, as I have, in the arc, unlike the 15th Rocky film, he loses all his money, okay? And his only choice is to be the greeter in a small Italian restaurant in the old neighborhood.

12:00He lives in the apartment that he's in in the first movie. And there's no acknowledgement ever that he is the greatest sports figure. He could be a convention signing autograph. I mean, he could, without even leaving his house, if he just answered his phone, he'd get paid 100, because he single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall. You know? He's won, he had come from behind victories. He's the most celebrated in that universe. He's the most celebrated figure. He's done the most incredible things. It would be like saying, well, geez, did you hear what happened? No, Michael Jordan, I guess he had a crooked business manager and all the money's gone.

12:41Where is he now? He's at a Dave and Buster's. He's over by the bin of balls and he's, you know, yeah. And he's telling the kids like, take it easy. You can't jump in until that one comes out. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. No, no. Michael Jordan signs one sneaker for, you know, the ghost of Steve Jobs and gets $150 million a pop. So am I wrong? I'm sorry. I'm taking away from some of the magic of what was a wonderful time. I'm shifting the focus to a new one, which is I don't understand why Rocky's working in that restaurant. Do you remember he was also living with a robot in one of the movies?

13:21Yes. No. I remember that, beady, beady, beady. No, that's Twiggy. Okay. Is that from Buck Rogers? Yes. Boy Spy. Oh, Mel Blanc. There you go. It's just Mel Blanc. He's not Burblanc. I'm so - You went Mel Blanc. My God. Oh my God. What pairs well. Do you remember also in the summer sports that pissed off you got about the trivia? What pairs well? What pairs well with the fish? I will try the Mel Blanc. Who's the voice of Bugs Bunny? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. You're such a fucking twit. Hey look. I'm Data from Star Trek. It's Shorty.

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15:02No, we're very close to a restaurant. Oh. We're in the parking lot of a very nice restaurant. But we've got our L.L. Bean stuff. We've got, you know, I've got my Adventure Tote Cooler, my L.L. Bean Easy Comfort Camp Chair, Max. It's just good times. Good times for everybody. So for the best outdoor products and to save 10 % on your order, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912.

15:30And now a shout out to Hershey's And a huge thanks to them For sponsoring Summer S'mores I was very psyched When I heard Hershey's was on board Same Me too Because I gotta tell ya I've been eating Hershey's milk chocolate Since I was a little kid Yeah I was like give me that milk chocolate And they'd say okay And I'd say is it Hershey's? And buttermilk will kill ya I was a mean little kid Oh my god Yeah I really insisted it be Hershey's Now you can s'more like never before With new Hershey's milk chocolate With caramel What's the verdict? Oh my God. It's truly scrumptious. Yeah. It's a sweet new take on the classic treat.

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16:29Today, s'more more.

16:37Anyway, if you think I'm a monster in this final episode, that's what these chill chums do to me. They wind me out. And now it's our fault. Yeah, it's our fault. And this is what's going to be happening next year. This is the tip of the iceberg of the new Conan. because the Conan that comes to the next Chill Chumps is going to be an absolute monster. Are we going to just do like Olympic games, all these different games? We should. Like Battle of the Network stars? Yes. Yes. Well, I'll run a race against Gabe Kaplan. But now. Excuse me, it's Gabe Kaplan. Yeah, Gabe Kaplan. I'll have a Gabe Kaplan and I'll have a - Pardon me.

17:11Do you have any Gabe Kaplan? Do you have any Mel Blanc by the glass? But of course. But of course we do here. It's cafe mispronounced. you know can I say something you of course you know you can way back in the first episode of this series Bley you teased something that we also did the year before and I think it's important that we cover this you got a new medieval renaissance weapon yeah you never brought that out did you bring it to the set and then never use it I felt like there was a lot of tension between you and Sona we didn't need any more like any actual weapons on set did you just forget though I mean it's unusual for you to bring a dorky weapon and not show it Jesus Christ, man.

17:49Oh my God. I can't wait for the war crimes trial where we all present our evidence. I just love it. Who drives home and - I like this guy. Look at who drives home at the end of the night and looks in the backseat of their car and sees a broadax and goes, Darn it! I forgot to wield it. Why am I catching strings and shooting at any point? He just got to - No, but you didn't, you said you were gonna bring one of your weapons and you brought it, but never brought it out? Yeah, well there's a lot going on. What was that like when you got home and you're unpacking stuff? Did you apologize to it? And you have your cooler and you move it and there it is.

18:33That is kind of what happened. The scythe from Sword of Gildar. I was unpacking my car, yes, and I was like, oh, that's right, like, yeah, this year. So what was it? Well, I have it here. This year, I... Of course you do. You just have it with you? Well, I left it at the office because just in case we needed... So let's see it. What is it? Well, so this year, last year I got a big sword. I was like, you know, at four foot. And I wanted something smaller because I didn't really use it at all in this past year because it was so big. You didn't use the fantasy sword as much as you thought you would?

19:02Why did you think you would use it? Why did you use it though? It's two-handed. It's, you know, it's a whole thing to get out. It's like very big. So I didn't use it as much as I wanted. What a sad to-do list. To-do, milk, orange, wheeled, magical sword. Wheeled, fake, magical sword. Oh, I'm sad you didn't get your bucket list checked off. Anyway, so I wanted something kind of smaller, more useful, so I got this ax. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's really sharp, so be careful of it. It just looks like an Irish musical instrument. Yeah, it's a big. This looks like a Guinness harp. It's a big, but yeah. Yeah, now tell me what this is.

19:40Oh, it's a big, I don't really know. It's just a really sharp. Where did you get it? I got the Renaissance fair. I went to the. So you went to a Renaissance fair. I dressed up. In costume you were wearing. I did. Yeah, I did. And this year I learned. I don't even know why am I. And this time I went. Why am I telling you this? I brought an empty holster because I. Last year I had to carry around the sword. It was really awkward. So you brought a holster for a sword you thought you might buy. That's right. So I could be. I hate that. I hate that when you have a holster. Yeah. Yeah, so I had an empty holster.

20:12So this fits perfect. It's a sheath, I think. Yeah, well, no, I had a holster because I was like, oh, I'm gonna, I don't want to buy another big sword. I want to buy something smaller, like a dagger. But then I saw this baby and I was like, oh, this thing is. This is incredible. Yeah. And I was, you know, also, I will say, I will say, I will say. No one's interrupting you. What? You're just, you're pausing because you realize where you're going is sad. Yeah, it is kind of sad. Well, I will say, I will. Could someone please let me finish? We're letting you finish. I don't want to say it. Well, I was thinking after I bought, I could use that to cut a pizza.

20:46What? What? What? Well, I'm just saying because, you know, the sword doesn't have a lot of - You can also use a pizza cutter. Yeah. It doesn't have a lot of practical applications. And I was just saying - No, it doesn't, though. I didn't really use my sword last year. And so I was like, well, I'll be able to use this to cut it. That would be pretty badass if you had a dinner party and you brought a pizza out and you just went - Yeah. Thank you. There we go. I don't know if badass is the word. I am Zygar. I shall turn this pie into six slices. You're making my case for me. So, all right, so you finally got to show it.

21:18That's great. Thanks, thank you for letting me show it off. Well, I didn't let you. I didn't know you had it in the room. I thought we were just gonna talk about it. Of course you have it. Where do you keep all this shit in your house? I imagine it's not a huge apartment. It's not. Actually, do you want to know the truth? I asked you, so I'm expecting the truth. I have, this is, oh man, fuck, this is so sad. Well, I think it's cool. I have a weapon corner that I just lean everything up against. You own it. Go for it. Don't apologize. Okay, yes. I have a weapon corner. You should apologize. I have a couple swords.

21:51I got this. I got a flamethrower. I got a - Do you really have a flamethrower? I do, yeah. You're an asshole. Why do you have - What kind of flamethrower? One of my friends gave it to me. We had a thing where we gave each other weapons. And then I have one of the - I have spiked balls and chain. A mace? A mace? No, a mace I think is like a club. I think that's like a Morningstar or something. But, and then I also have a - We're losing listeners right now. Knife. We're plummeting. I think it's from Cobra or from another movie. It's like a big, crazy, wavy - That's the Cobra knife that the villain has.

22:21Yeah, wavy knife, and then it's got a spiked handle. Yeah. So I got all that stuff. It's just kind of just in one corner. Throwback when Greg Daniels and I were writing together on our first TV show, Not So The News, we went to our offices we were working there for like three days at sunset gara studios this is 1985 when this package arrived uh that they sent back to our office and um we used to get like weird promotional things and i guess for some reason because we were a tv show we got a promotional package they thought maybe we would mention it uh and here i am mentioning it 70 years later It worked.

23:03It worked. It worked. And it was a promotional package from Cobra, the movie Cobra. Oh, my God. And it was all these pictures and, like, a couple of memorabilia, little thingies from the movie Cobra. We were just looking at it, and it was like, this is going to be Sylvester Stallone's next franchise. He plays, what's his name? Marion Cobretti. Marion Cobretti. You're like, his name? You know, you have to justify, this is a sting operation. He cuts pizza with scissors. Yeah, but no, and it was, and then Greg and I went and we decided we got to go see Cobra. Yeah. And I don't know if you remember.

23:39I do. It's, I know. Do you? He was a producer on it. He was three years old. Do you know the story that - But you know what's crazy? It's Cobra against a cult. Yeah. And it's people from all walks of life who meet - Yeah, business people. Yeah, business people and bakers and people that sell orthotics all meet in a basement and clang weapons together. Big acts in Spotlights. In Spotlights. In like chains. Yeah. Do you know the story of that? Is that Sylvester Stallone was originally going to do Beverly Hills Cop. And he retooled it so much that they eventually went, no, you can't do this anymore.

24:13They gave it to Eddie Murphy. And he took his version. And that's what Cobra is. Oh. Yeah. And that's Matt's movie corner. I have more fun facts. And if you could just open up a corner of your apartment for me. Yeah, dude. But anyway, that was my, when you mentioned Cobra, I thought, wait a minute. I have a visceral memory of opening a box. But what was in it? Oh, a lot of photographs from the set and a press packet of who Marion Cobretti was and what his character is. And then there might've been like a plastic knife in there or something. I don't know, but I remember Greg and I thinking, wow, I guess this is gonna be the new thing.