Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 5 Episode 2

0:03This episode of Connor or Brian needs a friend is sponsored by LLLBean. Just 15 minutes of outdoor time can make you feel happier and more energized. That's a fact. It's true. Ask any doctor, ask any noise, ask the lady with the alligator poise. Get out there and get your butt in LL Bean. LL Bean makes getting outside more comfortable and more fun with expert quality clothing and gear, towels, coolers, totes, and capping chairs. You'll be get up for your best day outside ever for the best outdoor products and to save 10 % on your order. Visit llbean.com slash Conan. outside together since 1912.

0:42This episode of Corner Brian Needs a Friend is sponsored by Hershey's. Guys, I'm going to ask you a question. What better way is there to make summer memories than having s'mores with Hershey's milk chocolate? None that I can pick of. There's nothing. Toasted marshmallows, melted Hershey's chocolate, crunchy graham crackers. The classic taste brings family and friends together for ooey, gooey, good times. And I'm saying that with a straight face. Yeah. And a college diploma. Owie, gooey, good times. Make s'more memories. See what I did this summer with Hershey's Milk Chocolate. Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums.

1:18A six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsassian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Hey, Conan O 'Brien here, and welcome back to Summer S'mores. 2025, baby. Outside and feeling alive. What? And that's no jive. And sometimes I get the hives. I love that actor whose last name is Clive. Are you talking about Clive Owen, the one with the first name of Clive? Yes, I was. Okay. Yes, I was. That's the sad part. Let me tell you something. As incoherent as I am in studio, I'm worse when we get outside. I like it. I want to tell everyone where we are. We are, this is the first for us, it's daytime.

2:00Yeah. We traditionally do summer s'mores at night. we now thought hey let's do one in the day and see if there's a different energy and we are in a very special place that I didn't even know existed we are in the backyard at the headquarters for the Conan Octopus the ever-growing international conglomerate known as Team Coco yes Spectre we are an octopus and if there were more than one I'd be octopi of course We've been over this. That's not true. Shut up. Okay. Shut up. It's not? Hey, it's my new improv guy. Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. Okay. Shut up. Okay. Shut up. Okay. Let's do a scene together.

2:39Okay. Come in the door and say what's going on. Hi. Shut up. You shut up. Shut up. You shut up. Shut up. You shut up. You shut up. You shut up. And scene. Yay. They broke through the wall. New kind of improv. Upright Citizens Brigade out of work. So I don't go outside the studio much because my foe is the sun. Yeah. Or as I call him, Old Saul. That fiery ball of hydrogen in the sky. I don't love the sun, as you know. I'm kind of a necromancer. I'm the undead. Right. I like to be entombed within my little studios and podcast places. And so to come outside is a bold move. But we have an ally. Yeah.

3:21L.L. Bean. Yeah. L.L. Bean supplied these incredible umbrellas, which are making me feel safe outdoors. That's good. Now, I had heard of umbrellas. I've been told about umbrellas. But these are apparently top of the line. They're great, and they're completely providing total UV protection. So I'm outside for the first time in years. Yeah. What do you mean? That's good. Yeah. Sona, you're adding so much to today's podcast. I know. You're head to toe in dark clothing on a pretty sunny day. Very lightweight clothing. Yeah. You know. A full jacket. And it's got to be warmer. It's got to be mid-80s, right?

4:01Can't take any chances. It's very light. This is a very light jacket. Of course, a t-shirt that I happen to love, which is a California bear playing the electric guitar. Yeah. And he's got Ray-Bans on or sunglasses of some kind. I don't know. Speaking of sunglasses, Sona, your sunglasses look great. Thank you. Dude, they are L.L. Bean. Are they really? They really are. I didn't know that when I asked you, he said lying. I didn't know L.L. Bean even made sunglasses. No, I didn't either. And then right before we were going to record, I grabbed these and I put them on. I loved them. You are a bit of a shoplifter.

4:39I grabbed some sunglasses and took them. If things are laying around, I'm going to take them. That's why you've been kicked out of many museums. everything here the umbrellas these mugs that we're drinking out of there's a cooler over there but it's got some cold ones in it we could put our feet up right we're the chill chums if you can't put your feet up who can it's summer s'mores summer s'mores is back we're outside we're in the cool little sort of grassy area behind I'm trying to remind my podcast, my sort of Stark Industries. Have you ever been back here? I said before, not really. Oh, okay.

5:22My dogs peed here a couple times. I can tell. I've peed here a couple times. I'm getting that sort of harsh ammonia smell. I can tell they had asparagus. What? What's that? Okay. Guys, feel free to jump in at any time or I'll just carry the whole show. You're doing great. Oh, and these chairs are L.L. Bean. Great back support. I'm taking all of this stuff, by the way. No, I'm not even joking. She's already brokered this deal before we even started. Yeah. She gets to keep all this. You know, my house burned down. You lost your house, as did many people, in the Altadena fire. Yeah. And you lived with your parents for a while.

5:59Now you've moved into a new place. Yeah. Still figuring out what you're going to do with the old Altadena property? Yeah, well, we're going to rebuild it. We know that. Would you like me to rebuild it? Absolutely not. I don't think I've ever seen you hold a hammer. Never have, but I'd like to try. I will build the sort of main structure of the house. No, that's not a good idea. No. We're going to do it, and we're going to record it and monetize it. That's a hard no for me. I mean, I would trust Gorley to build it. A new reality show. Conan will try it. No. No. That's a terrible idea. Well. Well, yeah, maybe.

6:32You know what? Conan will try it. Yeah. Oh, I'll try it. You'll try, like, scuba diving. or you'll try playing beach volleyball. I die in the second season. Okay. Our first episode, second season. And it's just playing, it's just not even playing volleyball. It's just going out to play volleyball and there's sunlight. But these chairs are great. You're going to take everything. I'm going to take everything. Because your place isn't furnished, right? No, I mean, we're in the process of furnishing it. A, I like it. They're pretty. And B, I just want them. So I'm just going to take them. Sure. Wow, this is good.

7:06So thank you to LL Bean and these sunglasses too. Yeah. And this. Do we know that we're allowed to keep this stuff? I don't know. You're just going to take it. I'm just going to take it. Now they have to give it to you. I mean, that's not. They have to now. What are they going to do? Is Bean going to come and take it from my trunk? Excuse me, it's L.L. Bean. I know, but I'm just. Only I can call them Bean. It's Lost Leader Bean. He'll give it to you. Hey, Bean. I don't know in my head. Bean. L.L. is one guy and Bean is another guy. You're thinking of Abercrombie and Fitch or something? when LL met Bean a new magic had been formed it's not Wilbur and Orville Wright but it's really nice back here I have not appreciated we have a lovely spot back here this is gorgeous yeah it's really nice we should hang out here more often well I should hang out here more often I think it would be nice if there was like a little statue or something I think it would be cool to have no seriously of what?

7:59I don't know like a Buddha or something cool and calming oh I thought you meant a statue of you for a second. No, no. I know I do bits about it. We should get a little fountain statue of you peeing in the fountain like a little baby Conan. Yeah, like those little babies. So we'd have a baby penis. Yeah. Yes, it would. Teeny, teeny, tiny. It's your favorite thing to do. What? It's a joke. Because you drew me with a microphallus on the album and you were so delighted with that. I still am. And I call him like I've seen him. We've shared a shower. We have never shared a shower. Trust me. If you saw what I was packing, you wouldn't fit in that shower.

8:34Okay? Well, let's get a statue made, and maybe it can be all pipe. You know, it's just a little guy. All right. Oh, God. Just a little guy. So the water's just going right into the ground. It's a penis that's jammed into the ground, and it goes four feet down. Oh, God. Water's the whole aquifer. You didn't think that was coming? All of Larchmont is irrigated by Conan. Didn't take us long. I love there's some nice flowers here. What kind of flowers are those? Are those... Is that bougainvillea? I don't really know my flowers. It's terrible. Adam's nodding. That's how I know that. My job as a kid was to do the work on our yard with the bougainvillea.

9:12And that stuff grows like a weed. It's a nightmare. Can I say one thing that bothers me aesthetically? The back, when we first moved into this place and converted it to a podcast studio, we had to run a ton of cable and wire through because we're a serious podcast. so they have all these what do you call them? Conduit. Conduit. Thank you. Thank you very much, Eduardo. You're welcome. I want to acknowledge that you're here as well. God, he's a good looking guy. He is. He is. Thanks for having me. Thank you. He's fit. Yeah, we are a good looking bunch. I'm just acknowledging Eduardo for now. Oh, okay.

9:51We're going to sprinkle out acknowledgements as we go. Who works here is easy on the eyes. Okay, there's Conduit and there's all this Conduit on the back of the building and it's very garish electrical conduit. It's all over the place because there's a ton of wiring around the building. And I saw it and went, oh, that's too bad. And the plan was, oh, don't worry. Those are instantly going to be covered in vines and flowers. Yeah. Because they just planted them. That was three years ago. And nothing. They're still there. These meek little vines are going, not sure I'll grow this year. Can I just say something?

10:27Yeah. If either Matt or I brought up electrical cables, the way you would just shit on us. You just talked so much about electrical cables. I didn't just talk about it. And conduits. You were like, what's the word for it? Oh, thank you, Eduardo. Conduits. I didn't just talk. I opine. Nobody can see these either. That was wasted real estate in audio podcasting. You know what's wasted real estate? A nice grassy lawn where you're looking at conduit. That's wasted real estate. This could be a beautiful place to have a dry Chardonnay, some kind of Barolo. You could sit back here with a glass of a Chianti, and you could enjoy the nice nature that's back here.

11:15Instead, I mean, it looks like we're powering 15 iron lungs. You really find the best in everything, don't you? Yeah, you do. Well, I'm just saying I see the world, and I see a world that can be improved. You have a pergola with this, like, what is that, like a wisteria vine or something? The pergola's there and all the wisteria's there to cover up massive satellite dishes that I put up. We have a... That you put up? I put up. All right. I had it installed, and we can return missile fire if we need to. Oh, good. This place is ready to go. Okay. All right. Sometimes I think someone can just walk in from the street.

11:50Well, the problem is they can walk in the street. The missiles are to attack people in Cincinnati. These, I saw some posts there recently that I did not appreciate. About you? Yeah. But no, people can wander in. That's cool. Gates often unlocked. Sorry to get that out there.

12:08This episode is brought to you by L.L. Bean. But the Chipper Mood is sponsored by some time in the sun. I have to say, when the weather's nice, I like to get on my bike and ride. I really do. I love riding my bike. Yeah. That's cool. It's a very small girls bike. Oh. From, yeah. Does it have a basket in the front? It has a basket. And a banana seat. It has a banana seat. It's got those little streamers on it. It's sparkly. I love it. With a range of quality outdoor gear from L.L. Bean, getting outside can be enjoyable for everyone. Just because you're outside doesn't mean you can't be organized.

12:41The L.L. Bean campsite organizer has three shelves for keeping everything you need, like picnic gear, grilling tools, or snacks. You can keep your files in there for when you're camping and you want to go over your filing system. I only do my taxes when I go camping. I've seen you. And for everything you want to keep, ice cold, the L.L. Bean Base Camp Cooler is the most durable and effective they've ever made. This extra spacious cooler is designed to keep food and drinks cold for up to 196 hours. Man, you can crack a cold one days after you've been in the hottest weather. Thank you, L.L. Bean.

13:15Really, great stuff. I mean, excellent. Just the coolers, the organizers, These chairs we're sitting in are lovely. For the best outdoor products and to save 10 % on your order, visit llbean.com slash Conan. Outside together since 1912.

13:31Hey, time for a shout out to Hershey's and a huge thanks to them for sponsoring summer s'mores. You have to admit, kind of a perfect sponsor for summer s'mores. Hershey's, the chocolate bar in America. I think the world. Now you can s'more like never before with Hershey's milk chocolate with caramel. These are people that won a long time ago and they're not satisfied. They keep thinking of new ways to delight us. Sweet new take on the classic treat, this Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Caramel. Groundbreaking delight delivers an over-the-top s'mores experience. Each Hershey's Caramel bar is perfectly sized for s'mores.

14:06They did this. They engineered it with s'mores in mind, delivering optimum ooey-gooey goodness in every bite. And I say that with great sincerity. It's not just goodness, it's ooey gooey goodness. Boy, you laugh when no one else did. So grab your chums and gather around for toasted marshmallows, crunchy graham crackers, and new Hershey's caramel bars. Only a fool could resist a s'mores like this. I think they're talking to me. I'm not a fan of a s'mores, but you know what? They're tempting me a little bit with this new chocolate confection they've arranged. It's an indulgent new way to make summer memories.

14:43Try Hershey's milk chocolate with caramel today. S'more more.

14:56We should say, because we're out in the sun here, we do have a special guest, and we need to make sure that your needs are tended to. And maybe we could bring that guest in. Gina Lillabrigida. Yes, that's right. When I go back with a reference, I go back with a reference. What's that? So anyway, to have my needs tended to, I'm told he's a great man. He's been my personal physician since I met him several years ago in one of the only phone booths that still works in the Los Angeles region. Let's get him in here. Dr. Arroyo. Hello. Always better with Arroyo. Nice to see you. We've met. Okay. Hello, Conan.

15:33Dr. Arroyo, good to see you again. And again, everywhere I go, people ask me about you because of your presence in my Hot Ones. Thank you. You ministered to me. You cared for me. I think I saved your life. You probably did, only to prolong it and make it even worse. Yes. You're here to offer me advice. Yes. Here's the question. I consult you about everything. It's hard to find you. You don't have an office. I don't have an office that makes it harder to get served. I see. Okay. So I just kind of a loose cannon. I roam the streets. You have asked me, because I try and make an appointment with you.

16:14There's someone who says they're your assistant, but it sounds suspiciously like you. Oh, does it sound like this? Hello? Yes! That would be... You're tough to nail down. Yes. But, and often when we meet, you don't have an office. I don't have an office. And you have met me in a parking garage. I've met you, yes. You prefer a higher level. Yes, exactly, exactly. I get a workout that way, and I meet you in the open. And I'm here to answer any questions you have about the sun, about your exposure to it. That's what I wanted to ask you about. We are here. We're shooting outside. We're very well protected by these LLB umbrellas.

16:58That would probably block a lot of the damaging UV light. But do you want to have a look at my skin and see what you think? Well, let's take it. First of all, let's just see how hot the sun is today. You're using a— It's pretty hot. What reading are you getting there? Well, it only goes up to a billion. Okay. Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. And those are usually, I see they use those at the doctor's office to take temperature. Exactly. You are recording the temperature of the sun with that? Yes. Yes. And by the way, you mentioned that the sun is your enemy. Yes. It is not your enemy. Your sun is your friend who wants to kill you.

17:32Okay. A frenemy. A frenemy. Exactly. Exactly. We need the sun. So what do you recommend, doctor, with, please tell me you went to medical school. I did go to an accredited, it was accredited at the time. Okay. Yes, I did go to a medical school. And what is on that site now that was once your medical school? Oh, it's, well, there's no, there's, yeah, they had to take the whole site down. It was on, it was on Juno.com. I don't know if anybody remembers. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, the point is, and I think I'm making a good point here. One must look after their skin. Absolutely. Always consult your personal physician or dermatologist, or in your case, clearly a sham artist.

18:15What's that? I have a lot of bravado. I have a lot of confidence. Okay, you have a lot of bravado. And I think that goes a long way in the medical profession. What do you think about my skin? As we all know, the skin is the largest organ in the body. Second largest, cha-ching. Oh, God. Right, right. When it's engorged with food, the intestines can be big. But in this case, I think the skin is larger.

18:44I think barrier protection. Barrier protection. Barrier protection. So what would you recommend I apply to my skin? Probably a sunscreen of a high SPF. Of course, I happen to have some here, and we can just put some on the top of your hand here. Just put some here. You're using a small spatula. Now, I know this brand. You have to take off the cap and you have to... Squeeze it on. Yeah, exactly. This is a sterilized spatula. Oh, you took it out of your pocket. That's the unsterile pocket. Oh. And this is the sterile pocket. We couldn't hear you. That was the American Medical Association helicopter.

19:23Dropping information leaflets to stay away from me. I understand. Listen, you use a spatula to apply sunscreen? It's more sanitary that way. Okay. Okay. I don't think, okay, I've never thought of that. I already rinsed it. I had scrambled eggs this morning. But this is, we're going to have, so we're just going to put it on there. And that creates a barrier that will protect you from the sun. That is a lot of sunscreen. It is. Well, you need a lot of sunscreen because you don't have any melanin. I have no melanin. So that's going to be, so I'm going to leave this here for later. And you can just apply it to the rest of your face, to any part of the skin that's exposed.

19:59You just, you didn't even do the fingers. You didn't do any. You just put it right here on top of the opposite the palm. Yeah, I like that. Below the knuckles. Yes, I like that. You like it aesthetically. Aesthetically. I like this sort of a panda look. A little white, a little darker. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I appreciate your counsel. Thank you. I appreciate your friendship. Sure. I appreciate your absurdly low rates. Yes. It's hard to believe. I mean, I spent, I think the last visit I was with you for an hour and ten minutes. You ate a lot. It was a restaurant, but you charge nothing afterwards. That's right.

20:35That's right. I keep my fees low, and I keep moving. That's my MO. But, Aaron, if you could bring in that. This is a little life hack. I don't know if you're going to be out in the sun this summer, if you're going to the beach or something. Just remember that the sun is a star. And like many stars, it's a vain son of a bitch. so what we do is we reflect the sun back at itself so it's checking itself out and it has less time for you that's the idea boy that was funnier in rehearsal anyway now we have a mirror I didn't rehearse that I can't believe there was a rehearsal there was no rehearsal did you notice this star just got fixed by his own gaze I do listen I get the joke that I'm a star I'm vain It is a joke.

21:26And that was the bit. That was the bit. I think it didn't land because people see me as a humble man. Ah. A man grounded. A man who is anything but star-like. I just, I'm like a simple monk wandering the earth. Oh, my God. Spreading seeds of joy and wisdom. I wish I was a therapist. Okay. I wish you were, too. Well, you could go to that medical school and have it shut down. Yes. You're a fine man, Dr. Royale. Thank you. Thank you. And we will not judge you on whether this bit did well or did poorly. Well, I'm assuming we're going to cut it in editing. Oh, no. I will look like a rose. I will continue.

22:08Mr. Or, I'm sorry. Doctor. Doctor is my birth name. I was christened him. Dr. Arroyo. That's how I can get away with it. Your Christian name is Dr. Arroyo. My Christian name is Doctor. You are a monster. Look what I'm doing. I'm spreading what you did there to here. Yes. And this is, I think, a very wise thing I'm doing. Perfect. But Dr. Arroyo, thank you very much. I know you're busy, he said sarcastically. Maybe we'll see you later on. Sounds good. Summer Smalls. I'm always here. I have an appointment. Is that a Motorola flip phone? It's a Motorola flip phone, yes. It's the latest. You're getting a call from Gerald Ford?

22:43What's happening here? The latest. I have an appointment. I will see you. The latest. The latest from 1997. Where are you going? You got an appointment? I do. Yeah. Okay. It was a very nice pleasure meeting all of you. Come again. I'm going to need those sunglasses back, Sana. Would you take the - I will take the mirror. Take the mirror bit away. Yes. And also, but leave the L.L. Bean tripod. Very good. No one makes a tripod like L.L. Bean. Can I have some of that sunscreen? Because I'm a little exposed here. Of course. Of course. Thank you. Okay. Wow. That's the best I could do. You didn't even try to be inept.

23:19All right. And, oh my God. That was Dr. Arroyo doing the best throw he could. Wow. That was terrible. I hope there's no instant replay. Please show that again. I'm sure there's not an instant replay for that. There's no instant replay. There's no way. All right. To see that again and to know that Dr. Arroyo wasn't trying to do something funny. This is just cake frosting, by the way. I know. It is. Yeah, it is. It is. He stole that from a bakery somewhere. There's a very sad wedding cake. Dr. Arroyo. Enjoy your summer, sir. Dr. Arroyo, I think I've said goodbye to you nine different times. I think so.

23:51I will see myself out of my throat. Like a fart in an elevator. Get out of here. I will move on right now. Thank you. Are those for anybody? We're not talking about these yet. That's going to be a later segment. I see. I promise you there will be food available. And I'm sure your pockets are lined with tinfoil per usual. Yes. A lot of cold cuts in there now. All right. Isn't that the sterile pocket? Well, he's got food in there. It's got to be sterile. He's got sterile salami. Well, it was nice to see Dr. Royal. I love him so much. I do, too. He's a terrible, terrible physician. He's really bad.