Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums Season 5 Episode 5

0:28This episode of Corner Bride Needs a Friend is sponsored by Hershey's. I did this summer with Hershey's milk chocolate.

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1:15Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chumps, a six-part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsassian, and Matt Gorley. Let's get started. Hey, Conan O 'Brien here, We're welcoming you to episode five of Summer S'mores 2025. I'm joined by my fellow broadcaster extraordinaire. Yep. Trained her whole life for this. Basically screwed around and just landed her butt in butter. This is Sonam Obsessian. Sonam, this is exciting today. And we're going to play a game. And I know you're very competitive when you play games. I am. And I know you're very competitive when you play games, too. I'm a man who has seasoned with time.

1:53Okay. I'm very chill and accepting of any results. No. Let's go now to our commentators here. We have two, of course, Matt. Gourley, Matt, how are you? I'm fine. Thanks, Conan. How are you? I'm good. And thank you for that very stiff rejoinder. I'm in commentator mode. I've got business to do. Business to conduct. And the business of America is the business. We are going to play Cornhole. That's right. And I'm going to go up against the dreaded Sonom of Sessian, who's terrific at Cornhole. Well, yeah. I'm terrific. I'm also joined by my personal physician, who's here in case, because I'm doing a physical activity.

2:31That's right. And Dr. Arroyo, you suggested that you should be here to monitor my physical movements. Exactly, exactly, from the safe distance. You're going to be throwing things that weigh a little bit, and I just want to make sure that you do it safely. Okay, but we're talking about beanbags, Dr. Arroyo. Yes. A child, literally maybe a newborn, could hold these beanbags. I'm not worried about a newborn. Okay. All right. Now, Dr. Arroyo, you've been with me for, I think, 11 years now. That's correct. Since we met. Yes. I think at a parking lot of a Taco Bell. That's correct. That's correct. You looked like you needed some help.

3:11I didn't. I was fine. I was walking to my car, and you said, I need cash. Help me. I looked like I needed cash. Yeah. Anyway, you then became my physician. That's correct. I have not looked into your credentials, and I've been told by you that's not a good idea. It's not necessary. And I'm here to watch the cornhole game, and I'm just as capable of doing this as I am of practicing medicine. Very good. All right. Well, shall we begin? What do you think, Matt? Let's do this. You're in charge here. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2025 Summer S'mores Cornhole Invitational. I'm Matt Gourley. This is Dr.

3:48Jose Arroyo, your color commentators for this afternoon of sport and frivolity. Our contestants today, Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Obsessian. We've been talking about this game here in the office for well over a year. And it's been rumored about that we would actually have a competition between the two. We didn't do it last year, but we're doing it this year. And we have some surprise cornhole boards here. And I think it's time to reveal what we're looking at and the playing field. Blay? Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh, these are fantastic. Oh, wow. For the listener at home, these boards are the perfect depiction of Conan with a giant wide open mouth to throw the beanbags in.

4:27And that is to scale, by the way. That is the circumference of my open mouth and its relationship to my head. Gorgeous. And then the same for Sona. There's a representation of Sona with an open mouth. Dr. Arroyo, do these seem anatomically correct? They do, actually. I've seen Conan yell and get his mouth that big. So, yes. All right, so are you guys familiar with the rules of cornhole? Don't you just try and get it in the hole? That's pretty much it, yeah. Where can we throw from? I know you can't go too far. You can go anywhere behind the front of the board. Got it. So we'll begin with you, Conan.

5:00You're tossing red into Sona. Okay. And whenever you're ready, you get one point for landing on the board, three points for getting in the mouth, and zero points for any that fall off. Okay, so I should put these up here so they're ready, right? We can talk shit, right? You should. And you alternate shots. What's that? You're supposed to alternate shots. We alternate shots. Be careful if your toe does go in front of the board. That's a violation. Come on, you little bitch. Okay, and really, this is good. We need to talk trash. This will up the game. So let me have it, Sona, and really give me your best Glendale slash Altadena harsh vibes.

5:37Yeah, you fucking can't throw, you little bitch. Yeah, what a wasted height. Like, who's this tall? and can't even fucking sport. You fucking loser. Okay, let's dial it back a little bit. That was atrocious, and I'm going to go straight from here probably to therapy and just cry. All right, it's your turn, little bitch. Okay, here we go. I missed completely. That was terrible. Zero goose egg. That one flew over like an F-15 Tomcat. Sona with a point on the board. She didn't come here to play. Okay, I was just goofing around on the first one. Now we get to business. Watch your toe. What if I knock her one off?

6:22You can do that. Yeah. Oh, damn it. Slippery. Zero points. We didn't get any warm-up complaints already. Oh, my God. You can't fucking touch me. Don't swear. Next time that happens, you lose a point. Two points. Three points. Four points total for Sona Red. Oh, my God. This is embarrassing for you. What do you say about making this game interesting? All right. Never mind. Okay. I don't think it could be. I was told, I'm goofing around a little bit, I was told to make this interesting. I was, actually. Oh, were you? Yes, I was. By Adam Sachs, our podcast producer. Oh, my God. So you've been seeing a little bit of what we call the old Baltimore flim-flam.

6:59Okay. And it's time now to show you what can really happen. One point. No? Okay. That was a lot of talk. No, no, no. We're building up. We're building up. That was a lot of talk. All right. Sona's up. She's got two more bags left. five points sona one point conan get better at conan's last bag watch this whoa one point okay five to two so far sona's got the last play we'll subtract the lower score from the higher and get this round's tally oh all right it's 62 which gives sona four points okay we got for this round we're doing three rounds yeah i'm not worried about this at all because I was told, make a little space up front.

7:40This is the first game. Yeah. Make it interesting. That's going to get the clicks, the clacks, and the socials. So we should see you really sail from behind. Yeah, you're going to see it. All right, great. I actually promised you that. All right, you guys get to move over to the other side for fair-winded damage. Am I still pitching red? Yes. Who went first last time? Conan did. Okay, so, Sona, you go first this time. Maybe if we did a competition where we built wooden airplanes, you'd win. I build an excellent wooden airplane. Dr. Arroyo, mental health, does it play a part in this game? It plays a huge part in this game.

8:15And Sona so far has shown incredible confidence and stamina. Yeah. Let's just see if she can bring it home. I don't. She's on the board. She's on the board. Okay. And now's the part where Conan shows you. He was just messing. The important thing is not to talk while they're about to throw, because that can throw their confidence and their game off. All right. So you wait. So I shouldn't? Yes. Okay. Oh! Oh, three points. He's backing up his sack. Well done. All right. Back up his sack. So the sacroiliac jack. Oh! Two Sona, three Conan. Conan's on his second throw. Knocks himself off. That was called a Donnie Dud back when I'm from Boston.

8:58Oh! Three-two. Current score. Oh, damn. Off the board. Sona's last bag. Alley-oop. It's on the board. I was trying to get the other one in there. Conan's got one more. Get there. It's four to three. That's one point for Conan, four for the last round. Right now it's Sona three points ahead. Yeah. Sona three points ahead. Four to one. What are you talking about? I'm scoring cornhole. Yeah, but it sounds like mush. I don't know what I'm talking about. It sounds like an auctioneer who just shot himself in the head and then started the auction. I'm winning. Sona has four and you have one. Yeah. Trust me, watch what happens.

9:32This is called the old alley-oopsie-oopsie-doopsie. No one calls it that. If they did. This is the last round, correct? It's first to seven. First to seven? Okay. All right. First to seven? First to seven. How long are we here? It's four to one right now, so Sona should win it now. She's over. I'm going to win it. Yeah, yeah. Watch this. I'm going to win it. You ready? And bongo. One point close to the mouth. That's what we call a chinner. And now it's time for the old Labadoo. Two on the board, one on the board for Sona. No! Oh, Sona knocked one of Conan's in. Three points. Okay. Over the board.

10:10Oh, threw it completely over Sona's head, but a lot of things go over her head. She doesn't read. Here we go. Oh, someone's getting hurtful because he's losing. All right. All right, five for Conan, three for Sona. That's a net of two for Conan and a net of one because Sona just put one on the board, so we are now at four to two. Okay. So Conan's inching his way up. He's inching his way up. What did I say I was going to do? Let me tell you something. Oh, my God. Cornhole is a game. It's in the mind more than the arm. Jesus. I have created an expectation, which will soon turn into a sexpectation.

10:45I think we're ready to go. I don't think I've ever seen you throw anything in my whole life. You've seen me throw a fit? Yes. You've seen me throw a tantrum? Uh-huh. You've seen me throw out my back? Yes. You've seen me throw out Jose's pitches? Yeah. That's true. So I... I stand corrected. Yeah, I think you go first on this one. Oh. All right. Sona's up here. Four to two. Over the board. She doesn't score on that. Conan with a nice little ginger touch. One on the board. One for Sona. Look at that. Look at it. It's like I'm sticking out my tongue at all of you. Yes. We got to get a shot of that.

11:22Get a shot of that. But that's not a three-pointer. That's a one-pointer because it hasn't gone through the hole. But it will. It will if old man gravity knows what he's doing. He's like Caddyshack. Just wait. Oh, Sona puts it in for Conan. I keep getting your bags in for you. Currently, Sona 2, Conan 4 for this round. One more point for Conan. Sona with the last throw. That's one more for Sona. And Conan's final throw for the round. Put that sack in the mouth. Yes. Say that again, Dr. Royale? Put that sack in the mouth, Conan. You know, it's funny. First time I met you, you said that. I remember.

11:57Oh, boy. There's a true story. Parking lot. Taco Bell. Here it goes. Turned out it was benign, remember? Your sack was benign? You said it tasted benign. I agree. You have a benign sack? Yeah, clearly. My wife's been saying that for years.

12:15Well, Hershey's finally decided to sponsor Summer S'mores. You know, this has been the long con. We invented Summer S'mores to lure Hershey's. This is all I've ever wanted. This is like the movie The Sting. It's this really long con. It's taken years to play out. We don't disagree on s'mores. The whole thing was staged just to get some attention. And now old man Hershey has found himself in our snare. Yeah. Well, anyway, they decided to sponsor some of s'mores, but they left me out. Matt and Sona got all this amazing merch swag. I got nothing because I'm anti-smore. Well, now I understand why.

12:51My past comments on s'mores divided a nation. A nation, which is rarely divided. But Hershey's, I want you to know my beef is not with you. I love chocolate. I love your new Hershey caramel bar, I believe. That a s'more could be just chocolate and graham cracker, no marshmallow needed. I had the new Hershey's caramel. It was great. It was terrific. Sona, what do you think? How is the s'more with caramel? Tell me what you think. It's so good. I mean, honestly, if anybody tries to give me a s'more without Hershey chocolate, I just smack it out of their hand. Yes. And the caramel just upped the game big time.

13:22I saw your face light up. I feel like tasting that was my purpose in life. Try Hershey's Milk Chocolate with Caramel today. S'more more.

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14:57Well, this is the last bag. Unless I remarry. Here we go. There it is. Conant's up 5-4. What the fuck? No. What did we talk about? Are you serious? Yeah, what did we talk about? Well, you were goofing around. This is exactly what I said was going to happen. Conan's two points away from winning. Okay. Sona, you have to beat him. I know. I know. I start. Oh, I got to get mine because it went in. Here we go. It's an extra. Sona, you have to beat him.

15:29One point, Conan. All right. This is it. I'm done. I'm done. One point, Sona. Lofty throw from Conan. It's good for another point. Sona's right on his heels with another point. Two-two here on this round. Oh three points for coming oh man Sona knocks one of hers off the board with a one-point round oh Conan's it off. Oh, she's got one more bag. You got one more bag. You got to make a three-pointer here to keep stay alive Shut up, Eduardo Here we go

16:05Are you playing are you what if what if she knocks off one of his bag I got next after the recording oh my god Yeah? You could knock off one of his bags, or you could just punch him in the sack. Been there, done that. There she is. Oh! I'm sorry, no. For all his talk, Conan comes through, and the Empire has won. God, you hate to see it, and I'm an unbiased observer. Man. Sona. That's voluntary, isn't it, Conan? Is that... All right. Okay. God, I started off so strong. Dr. Arroyo, if you don't mind, give me a quick... It's really good. What do you think? I think you're good for another two years.

16:49Could I? Two years. Two years. Could you check the heart as well, please? Absolutely. Yeah. I'm just going to compare it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We're both good. You can get these at any costume shop. This is correct. This is correct. But this one cost me a lot of money. Okay. Okay. Thank you very much. Dr. Arroyo, you got a problem? Yeah, I do have a problem. Bitch. Yeah. Sticks and stones may something something, but names will. Well, that was exciting for you. Yeah, for you. Because there was this perception, which I created, that things were going to be tough and that I was really, you know, hurting.

17:32Then out of nowhere, I come to life. It took you like four rounds to make enough points. So I just crumbled. That's all it was. I would like Eduardo to weigh in. Eduardo's a man of sport. He's a sportsman. I think luck goes a long way. Yay! That was luck. It was luck because I started to really suck after that first round. But you know what? I'm down for a rematch any time. Well, I'll never touch that game again because I've just proven that I'm the best in the world at it. Walk away from success, I always say. This is a rough way to end the season of Summer Sports. I know. Sona, how are you feeling?

18:08I feel like shit. I'm really upset I lost. I hate losing things in general, but losing to Conan is probably my biggest nightmare. I hate it so much. I can't think of anything I hate more than losing to Conan. I'm really upset. I'm pissed. I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at my family. I'm mad at everyone who works on this stupid fucking podcast. I hate everybody who thought of this idea that it could open up this world in which Conan beats me at something. Well, you have a sympathy vote, and then I think you lose. I don't think you realize losing to Conan is the worst person you could lose to. Because he's a gloater.

18:51You're a gloater. No, I don't gloat. All I do is savor the victory out loud. I don't know if that's what gloating is. An overextended period of time and with great bravado. If that's gloating, then I suppose I'm a gloater. I don't think it is. Conan, what are you planning to do with this victory? Well, I've heard there's a cornhole circuit. Now several years ago I went on something That I was told was the cornhole circuit It turned out to be a very different thing And Is that how you got so good at cornhole? It had nothing to do with this It was a misnomer They call it the cornhole circuit But I assure you it is not this game And I met some lovely people But I was filled with shame afterwards I felt degraded And used So that's not going to happen again.

19:40I prefer this cornhole, but it turns out I'm good at both. So I think I want to get out there, and I think I'm a good spokesperson for this game and for the other cornhole. Wait, have you ever played for reals? No. Okay. And you've probably played a lot, and that's interesting. Have you played before? I've played a few times. Yeah, I've played. And where do you play? At sort of backyard events? Yeah, like picnics and barbecues. Who's at this picnic? Tell me a little bit about the picnic. little friends family cool people like cool people who know you just said you hate your family i well i'm angry that i lost so i'm just talking about how angry i am i'm getting my anger out i hate that i lost to you so i'm blaming everyone but myself let it go you have a beautiful family oh shut the fuck up i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i called you a bitch multiple times You're not wrong.

20:32You're not wrong. Gourley, what was it like for you to watch me come from behind? After predicting it, I called it. That was the worst part. Like Namath, you know, with the Jets. I called it. I was the underdog. People like to call me king of the dorks and et cetera, et cetera. And then I come out with one of the greatest displays of physical prowess and mental acumen that people have ever seen. Honestly, it made me hate my family, too. It made me hate Sona's family. Yeah. I hate Sona's family now. Well, this was, I think we learned something. No, we didn't. Just that life is a series of miserable disappointments.

21:12Yes. And there's no justice. Yes. Yeah, that was the title of the episode. Okay. That's what we meant to achieve. I loved it. I just loved being outside. This was our last episode outside. Remember how we started this series, and he was so bleak and complaining about circuits, and he wins one game of cornhole. I know. And now suddenly life is all sunshine and roses. I hate that smug face. Oh, I hate your smug face. Let's just say I'm getting some tonight. Oh, God. Cornhole. No. Listen, let's just leave that up to the imagination. No, let's not. Okay. Let's not do that. What's happening with this cornhole set?

21:49Yeah, what are we going to do with these? These two are amazing. Who made these? Who made these? These are terrific. Ryan did this? It's great. It's beautiful. It's great. It's really well done. Please give him our thanks. Let's give him a full shout out. What's his last name? Ryan Godo. Art director Ryan Godo. Let's hear it for Ryan Godo, please. And while we're at it, everybody who worked on this series, we still have one more episode in studio, but out here everybody's at play. So thank you to all the people. I'm sorry, you've gone too far. Yeah. I think I made this happen. I got here early.

22:17I set up the cameras and I scheduled everything. No, whose idea was Cornwall? I want to know. I want to know. Was it your idea? It was me. It was me, baby. So Eduardo, you wanted to set me up to look the fool. No, I knew you would come through. What? Nobody ever bets on Conan when there's athletic anything. Eduardo said I'd have the Tonight Show for 10 years. Oh, boy. He put a lot of money in it, and no one in his family is ever going to college now. Hey, I want to say, in all sincerity, to echo and continue what Matt so nobly began, we sail in at the last minute like a bunch of goons, three goons in a pod and everyone here has worked so hard to make this really fun.

23:01This was a fun day. Yeah, it was. It started out with me moaning about all the conduits that are visible in the back of the Larchmont Studios and ended with triumph of evil over good. Oh, okay. Triumph of evil over good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kept, if you believe it, you were like, no, no, no, wait a minute. Yeah, I don't know that. Yes, yes. But, yeah, I want to thank everybody here who worked so hard And I also want to thank Dr. Arroyo. Yes. Dr. Arroyo, step in here, please. And you are a man with a very shadowy background, a man who has been derided by the Medical Association of America and worldwide for being a poser, a fraud, a huckster.

23:45But you came here today. But they also say bad things.