Taylor Tomlinson Returns

27:28Yeah, I was. I was like, stop just barging in there. With the men you knock and then you come in and with the women you kick the door open and go, what's going on? No, I wouldn't do it all the time, but I would, sometimes I thought if there was a guest, especially if there was a guest that I wasn't sure what the chemistry was gonna be, I wanted to go in first and get a reading of like, what is our, and you can tell, like you can go in and if I had a difficult time, I remember going in and, well, I can say, Lance Armstrong, years before his scandal, he was on the show and he was like the biggest thing in cycling and one of the biggest figures in sports.

28:10And I was excited to have him on. I didn't know anything about him personally. And I went in to talk to him and he was very, just kind of felt like he had a chip on his shoulder and I couldn't connect. And I can connect with a burnt out light bulb if I have to. Like I can really connect if I, and I couldn't figure it out. Lance, I have chemistry with everyone. Yeah, I know. This is not on me. But I just, I said, yeah, your chemistry seems altered. Oh, boy. But no, I left the room and, you know, my producer was eating a bowl of soup and went, what's going on? And I said, Jeff, I don't know. I don't know about it with Lance Armstrong.

28:44And he was like, oh, I'm sure it'll be good. Slurp, slurp. And so then I, you know, we had the interview and I felt the same thing. Yeah. You know, it's not anyone would look at it now and go like, oh, it's fine. But I couldn't, I couldn't figure it out. and I like to go in sometimes. Sometimes there were people who were really nervous, really nervous and sometimes surprising because extremely famous actors. I'm a huge, I mean, I love Joaquin Phoenix. I love him. I think he's a terrific actor and I think he was, what a lot of people forget is that these people have a different skill, which is he's an amazing actor but at that stage anyway, he would come on the show and it was, he didn't do a lot of talk shows and I remember he was really nervous.

29:26Oh, wow. So I would go in and just talk to him and he would say, this is crazy. I can't do this. And I thought, what are you talking about? You're an iconic young actor. They're going to be so happy to see you. But it was not his process to go out and just shoot the shit with someone. So sometimes I would go in and just let them know, first of all, the stakes are really low. It's just you and me. I like to take care of people and we're going to have a good time. Yeah. And that would help if we had a relationship prior to them coming out. Yeah. I'm horrified to find out you did go into everyone's dressing rooms, except for mine.

30:01Not yours. Again, it was an HR issue. Yeah, I only did it twice. It's fine. Third time is when I go in. Tom Hanks came on many times. First two times, I wouldn't go in. It was always, it's got to be third time. But like Kelly Clarkson doesn't go into mine. You know, now I don't know. Can I just say not to bum you out, but Kelly Clarkson walks in here all the time. just walks in to check in on us. She stops by my house sometimes. No, no, I know. She's incredible. She inflated the tires on my mountain bike. But both times I did, I did her show twice and both times like she just makes you feel so comfortable immediately on stage.

30:40So you're like, oh yeah, it's fine. And the same way you did. But like, yeah, I think everyone just has their own process. And so it's been interesting like in the first month that we're doing it, trying to find how it works best for me. Everyone's got their own way. Some people, I know Letterman never went in and talked to anybody. And I think he just wanted to keep it all fresh. But it's all what serves you. As you go through it, you're going to realize, I like this. This makes me comfortable. This I'm less comfortable with. And you can't judge it. You just have to make sure that that's what happens.

31:13Yeah. So if something works for you and serves you, do that. Yeah. Well, it's also just interesting trying to conserve your energy in the right way and figuring out when you need to eat. and when you need to be quiet. When you do a show, what happens eventually, my wife used to say to me, you realize your job is the organizing principle of our family. Everything where we live in the world, in the United States, but also to this greater degree, if I know my show is going on at 5.30, I would know when I had to eat lunch. I would know I couldn't eat after a certain point because I didn't want to be digesting food while I'm trying to talk to another, one of the Wayans brothers.

31:52Keenan Ivory Wayans. You don't be burping at Joaquin Phoenix. You're going to be great. Yeah. You're going to be brash. Yeah. Sorry. Massive bologna sandwich. But, and then I would be so, if it was a good show, my heart would be going like 180 beats a minute for the next couple of hours. And I would come home and, you know, my wife who has these two little kids would be like, we can't, you're like irradiated. Yeah. You just walked out of Chernobyl and you want to give everyone a hug. You need to just go into a different area. And I mean, you've seen me when I'm in this state. Oh, yeah. It's all the time after you do something.

32:33I do something. You're just always like, it's like you're amped up. I'm amped up. And so I'm talking a mile a minute and I've got all this energy. And my wife's trying to put the kids to bed. And I'm like, hey, kids, what's going on? I kill you. I would kill you. I would kill you. And the kids would suddenly be jumping around and I'd be like, that's good. Good. Now you try. Come on, kids. The network's watching. She's pulling you out of their room with a cane. Yeah, exactly. A long cane. But it didn't work. And I couldn't fall asleep till like one in the morning. And it's just everything now because it's been two and a half years since I ended my show.

33:13I can see. I can see it now. But at the time when you're in it, you can't. You know that this is what the job is and you do it. But it's only later on that you will see these things. Well, and stand-up is the same way. I mean, you have a great show. You're done at 10 p.m. and then you're just buzzing until 3 in the morning. So it's actually been nice to finish by like 7 p.m., usually like 6 or 7, and be like, oh, I'll come down by like 10 p.m., which is nice unless I go do a set or something. We did shows, I don't know, about a year ago at the Beacon. Oh, yeah. And so it's the three of us doing a show for the podcast.

33:51It's still, it's like, it's the beacons packed. We're doing a show. I go out and open it. What happened was we ended, the show ended late. I remember when I came backstage and you say hi to a bunch of people who have come to see it. Say hi to everybody. And then everyone drifts away. And I was like, now we go. Now we go out and we hit a, we go to dinner. You know, we get a drink and get some dinner. I'm already in bed. I know, me too. You're in bed in your Dickensian night suit. Yeah, a couple of them. Yeah, layers. And Sona disappears. And so I'm just saying to my producer, what do we do? And he went, I ate.

34:27And he's had his soup with him. I gotta go. And he was like, hey, I don't know. I think everything's closed. Anyway, see you tomorrow for the next show. In New York City, everything's closed. Everyone took off. No, but seriously, I went around and I was showing up at restaurants. Yeah. But now it's after 11. Everything's closed. Yeah. And I was like, no, no, no, I need to go someplace, make the waiter laugh against his will. I need to like, hey, there's the chef. Hey, chef, look at this bit I thought of. You know, I got to, and there was no place to go. I imagine you doing one of those little routines with the broom on the bear stage in the spotlight.

35:01Yeah, yeah. No, I was losing my mind. And I was like, it's New York City. Sinatra said it's the city that never sleeps. He didn't then go, except after 11. I'm like, Sinatra and Trump towards the end. I know, what was that? Sinatra sounded a lot like Trump. Yeah. He did, in the end, he sounds like Trump. Give me a grand new Donovan, New York, New York. But anyway, that was, I had nowhere to put all that energy. And then finally, I think we made a place down at Lincoln, I'm Columbus Circle. I like, I made a place open up. You made a place open up? No, no, I think they were closing and I was like, come on.

35:39and they said okay and I went hey have you heard of this one they all just want to go home to their family we're trying to put our children to sleep this is their residence this is not a restaurant well it's a restaurant now fucker and in New York that's not you know they're used to seeing famous people so they're like oh man god damn it Conan you gotta go back on the road because if you do that in like you know Birmingham Alabama they're like yeah we'll stay open all night this is the greatest thing that's ever happened Conan O 'Brien's here Remember when we were on tour once? This is the other tour.

36:10Oh, the can't stop one. I can't. We got to the hotel and the bar was closed and I made them open. Jeez. Yeah. I was like, it can't be closed. I just performed for thousands of people. For three so-and-a-halfs. I killed. I killed. And they were like, we don't fucking care if you killed. I killed, I tell you. Those were big laughs. Cut to the bar opening up. Yeah, they were really nice, though. They were very nice. They were cool about it. But yeah, you kept a few places open. Yeah, it's called alcoholism. My point is. I mean, I love that documentary, but I'm also a workaholic, so. When you say you're a workaholic, let's unpack that for a second.

36:51I didn't know we were going to. Well, I know I'm just. I wish I hadn't said it. No, but I'm just curious. It was sort of just a light thing I said. A light thing? No, I'm kidding. Let's get into it. But you really like to work. Yes, I do like to work. And that is, to me, one of the hacks in life and one of the tricks is you take something about yourself that could be a problem. But if you can tame it and use it in just the right amount, it's fantastic. Yeah. And so I like to work. Yeah. And there's so many different types of ways to work in entertainment. So anytime you're like, oh, I have time off.

37:25You're like, am I going to go right over here in this place? like that's what's so fun to me is like i had last weekend off and i was like oh hell yeah i finally have some time off from the show i'm gonna go write stand up for four hours at a coffee shop and that felt like rest to me which it's not it's still worth i know sona's looking at me like i'm crazy no no it's just that's not who i am sona's like do they have croissants the ones with chocolate it well like not being productive isn't restful for me yeah no I think is what it is so you're like well why would I why would I do nothing when I'm not going to enjoy it fully like I got right after I got the the after midnight job I got mono and I was sick for like two months and I had to like film the special in the first two weeks but then once the special was filmed I had like a few weeks where I was just doing nothing and me and my writing partner like finished a script in that time because I was like, I have three good hours in the middle of the day and we can get on Zoom.

38:24So I'll wake up at noon and then we can hop on from like one to three. And then I go back to bed at four and we got a lot done. And it was really, yeah. And it's awesome. And I felt great about it. But if I'd just been laying there healing, it sucks. I just got closer to death. Nothing to show for it. You just totally insulted your own immune system. your immune system's like wait a minute what whatever everybody's like you know some people get over it in like three weeks i'm like yeah if they stay down i guess but i had stuff to do yeah if you drink liquids i haven't had a liquid in six six months and then there's this myth of hey chill yeah don't work chill and i don't know i've never been able to chill i don't know how to chill.

39:12I have terrible news. It's not a myth. It works for some people. Does it really? It really does. I've seen it happen. You've seen people actually chill? Yeah, I've seen people spend a whole day reading, and I'm like, what? You're sitting with the two chill chumps. We're real chill, both of us. I think you're chill, too. I'm suspicious of you. I'm suspicious of you, Matt. I'm half and half. I need to work for a few hours to feel like I've earned it, but then once I've done that, I feel like, oh, I've earned this. I could chill. But I think the exception is Sona, who does not need to work hard to earn it.

39:41I think she's a chill master. and it's actually you know what you're saying that in a way where you feel it i feel like you're trying to insult me no i'm describing you to the police that's an accurate description when you say you do a show all week and then you do stand up it just boggles my mind i mean it's amazing how much stamina that is i mean doing largo is different than like traveling somewhere you know like largo's like oh this is so nice and relaxing it's great it's a comedy oh my god yeah i was talking to flanny about you actually because he was saying he's like you never know what's gonna happen with the show he's like i bought this place when i was 30 and i thought maybe i'd only do it for five years and here we are 30 years later he's like conan told me he thought he was gonna be out of the business you know in a few years and i was like okay he's like yeah so you never know and we'll see and he's like yeah i mean flanny has no right talking about me that was rude yeah i mean don't you think that's sort of uh yeah no uh no flanny's the guy that runs no conan flanny yeah I don't know any Flanny.

40:40Flanny is this, he runs Largo, which is really one of the best live venues in Los Angeles. And I only say that because this podcast goes out to other realms, but it is every comedian's favorite room to be in. Sometimes it can almost give you a deceptive read because you can go to Largo and sometimes I feel like you can read out of the phone book and you'll get some really solid laughs and you'll think this phone book thing's killer. I'm taking this out on the road. And then you get killed. Yeah. Well, that's the problem with once people come to see you on purpose. You're like, is this, do you really like it?

41:15So you have to kind of adjust your expectations. See you on purpose. I love that. See you on purpose. Oh, I was, people were tricked into watching me do stand up for years. They're like, we came for chicken fingers and a male comedian. We had no idea. We were just finishing a day at the mall. How dare you bamboozle us, funny bone. There were so many times I said to my wife, let's go out for chicken fingers and a male comedian. And then, you know, Laurie Kilmartin would come out and I'd go, what the fuck? What's a lady doing up there? And this doesn't taste like chicken. And I was like a child on top of it.

42:03So look, I saw the disappointment on people's faces. I came from an era where when I debuted in 1993, there's no internet. There's, you know, there's no streaming. There's maybe, yeah, there's four networks. There's no teleprompters. Yeah, there's no teleprompters. They were steam powered. They weren't good. They exploded all the time. There's someone on a bike behind it. Someone's peddling it. Welcome to the show. I have speeded up there, Myron. I'm trying. Shoveling coal into it. But there was a solid, I don't know, I want to say two, three years there where it was on and there wasn't much else to do at 1230 at night.

42:45So today there's a billion things you can watch. And I was part of this era where people would come up to me on the street and say, you know, didn't want to watch you. They wouldn't say that exactly, but it was clear that was not the plan. I didn't want to do that, but I can develop this rash. They gave me a medication and the cream has to be applied. And so I had to get up at 1230 and reapply the cream. I turn on the TV and you're there. I didn't like it, but after nine days and nine cream applying, I was like, you know what? He's got something. And I thought, oh my God. I mean, I literally, so many new moms with newborns would say to me, this is back in the early nineties.

43:25You know, I'm a huge fan. I would have to get up and breastfeed. And you were on, you know, I watched it for four solid weeks and I didn't get it, but now I love you. And I would think that wouldn't happen today. You're not. America was forced to put up with my shit for a number of years. They had no choice. And then they were like, all right, I guess the hair can stay. America was like, this is the guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, there's, yeah. One of the advantages of this new world and so many new opportunities is that we're getting to hear voices we wouldn't have heard in an old system where they just because they never would have given me a chance at what you're saying they would they would not have i would i mean they weren't uh let's be honest they were not like okay there's a long line of uh you know women doing comedy they're obviously great pioneers and everything but uh it was no we women weren't funny until bridesmaids came out like on the record yeah that was when it all changed over but everyone before that garbage yeah Lucille Ball just dreadful I didn't get it I didn't get it Carol Burnett I mean I've done the work I've gone and looked well and even now I mean again I did all these interviews and every interview was like what is it like to be the only woman in late night and I was like oh shit is this gonna be a big deal this feels like a lot of pressure Like we're doing a silly, funny, goofy game show.

44:57For years, it was how young I was. Like, you know what I mean? And they still like list my age in most things. And, you know, I'll probably hate that in a few years. I'll go, oh, there's a paper trail. Yeah. I guess we can't lie. But yeah, I mean, it's kind of similar to how I felt about that where I was like, is everything going to be about how young I am? Because everyone's kind of saying it in a surprised way. Like, even because even though you're this, you've still got this thing. I was the first asexual host. And I thought that was a huge barrier. People were like, we're not sure. They didn't know what you were.

45:29They weren't sure. Oh, okay, okay. And often I wasn't sure. You weren't sure. You can see it on the air sometimes. You know, there I am talking to Sir Richard Harris and I sort of pucker my lips and try to kiss him. Oh, okay. I was just confused. They thought they were hiring the first female. He did a bait and switch. I am a man, take a look. I dropped my pants, still confusion. Come on, that's the big reveal, I'm a man. Can we get more light in here? Fuck you! Well, I for one, I'm so glad Bridesmaids came out because it has enabled you now, exactly, to be - Caved the way. Yeah, exactly. Who did you, I'm just curious, just before we, because I want to wrap things up, but I don't want to wrap these up.

46:19Oh, let me make sure I don't have any more questions for you. I don't think I had everything. I was born in 1993. Jesus. Yeah. Wait a minute. You're going through a long list and you - Yeah, no, I got it. You got them all? You do your thing. Who did you see when you were interested in comedy and young and you saw them and you thought, okay, that's who I want to be or that person gives me the confidence to think I could do it? Oh, gosh. I mean, I don't know, because I felt like, I guess just every female comic that made it was like, honestly, again, not to do the gender thing, but like it did help.

46:56Like Kathleen Madigan, Maria Bamford, like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, like Amy Schumer getting so huge. Like it's I think everybody who makes it and is so successful in this business makes you feel like, oh, I could do that. Maybe, you know, like if everybody's cool with is everyone thinks women are funny. Finally, you know, it's so funny to think that that was a conversation for so many years when I was a kid because now we joke about it because it's like not. I don't think anybody's on that anymore. But when we were kids, it really was like, I don't know. I hate female. And people did say that to me in my early 20s, like, again, coming to see me at Funny Bones or whatever.

47:34They'd go, I hate female comics, but you were good. Like there was a lot of that. OK, that's unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, it's absolutely, I shouldn't say that. It's completely believable given that time, but it's unbelievable to contemplate now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor, I really am so happy for you and you are uniquely gifted and a really good person. And I think you're, right now, there are so many young people watching you saying, I wanna be Taylor Tomlinson and it's your job to destroy them so they don't take that from you. But seriously, thanks so much. Thank you so much. I'm sorry I asked you for so much advice.

48:15You think you're asking the wrong person. But sure, go ahead. I can't text Colbert anymore. I'm bothering you. No, he's been great. He's so nice. He's a very nice man. He's so nice. I just think he should try harder. Really. Well, he's got the same. Again, we're wrapping up. I'm sorry. We can say this off air if you want. No, no, let's say it on the air. I mean, it's very intimidating to spend time with him and you and go, oh they both have that thing that i just don't have i don't have the like like always on like very charismatic very social like i don't have that thing um that you two both have that's so impressive to me but a lot of my favorite people many of my favorite comedians don't do that they're on they do their thing and then they're quiet and reserved yeah uh or they're a bit of an introvert A lot of my favorite comedians are introverts.

49:06Yeah. Stephen and I, there's just something wrong with us. But it's so like, it's amazing to watch. Like you're like machines. Like you're just, I'm like, you're just funny all the time. Like I got to go plug myself in. Well, no, they'll tell you I'm not. Plug myself in. It's a neediness. No, it's not a neediness. It comes from God gave me a gift and I must pass it on. Okay, no, that's a neediness. Yeah, it's in the Bible. Desperate neediness. No, no, no, no, no, no. A prophet spreading the good word. Anyway, I don't think there's just many different. There are many, many, many ways that people get here.

49:43And a lot of my favorite comics are not like that. So don't be looking around. Don't compare. You're Taylor Tomlinson. They can fuck it. You know? That's very nice. I'm going to clip that out and just listen to it in the morning as an affirmation. Yeah, every morning. They can fuck it. You're Taylor Tomlinson and they can fuck it. That was great. Do you mean they can fuck off? Yeah, they can fuck off. No, I like it that way. I like fuck it. Okay. If I said, if I said fuck off, that's what everyone says. My trick is to change it a little bit. They can fuck it. Now it's got us talking and you know what?

50:17That's gonna be a t-shirt. Yeah. You're in Taylor Tomlinson. I was wondering what it is. Exactly. You started so much gravitas. Yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, they can fuck it? Yeah. What do you mean? I said it like Walter Cronkite on his last broadcast. That guy by me. I'm Walter Cronkite and you can fuck it. That's gonna be a t-shirt. You're gonna see that t-shirt. I felt like that was inspiring. I wouldn't have even caught that. No, we both, I thought it was funny too because I was like, what? Well, I thought it at first too, but then yeah, like everything, you gotta run it through twice with this guy.

50:48A lot of great poets, it's the little things they change. Anyway, go with God and they can fuck it. And he can fuck it. And congrats. Congratulations on everything. I'm so happy for you. Thank you.

51:13Hi, this is Matt. And this is Sona. We're leaving the studio right now. And as you can tell by the, is that a Ferrari or a Lamborghini? I don't know. You're asking the wrong person. It's orange. We were requested by Conan and Adam to do our own little segment as we're walking to our car. What do you want to talk about? Well, let's talk about how I thought. So, first of all, my car's been here for days. And I don't even know if it's going to be there when I get there. But I thought I had forgotten my key. So, you very graciously were going to give me a ride home, which is nice. And now we're doing, like, it's almost very mall walking, I was saying.

51:49Yeah, and I'm a little disappointed I don't get to give you a ride home. Because, you know, Sona time is good time. Oh, that's really nice. I know. You know, I like mad time. I don't know why things are just so much more pleasant when Conan's not around. What could it be? I feel lighter than air right now. Me too. I feel like we're having a good time. We're being nice to each other. This is nice, and there's a really big element that's missing, but I don't miss it. I know, and also the fact that this segment is going to end with the reveal of whether or not your car is there or not, because it's Monday, and your car's been in the CVS parking lot since Friday?

52:22Thursday. Since Thursday, yeah. I can't imagine it's still there, Sona. I may end up giving you a ride. Yeah, you know what? If it's cool, would you walk with me? No, you had your chance. Of course I will. Okay, that's cool. Because I don't know what I'm going to do if it's not there. I haven't gotten my car towed in years. And so I forgot who I would call and how I would find it. So I don't know. I mean, we'll see. We'll find out. You were telling me you used to get your car towed quite a bit, right? I've gotten my car towed like three times. and the first time is like, you're like, oh my God, did it get stolen?

52:54And by the third time, you're like, oh, what did I do? What did I do this time? That makes sense. Yeah, it is. Because anytime you do get a toad, you are the person who's responsible. Is this where yours is? Because the gate's closed. No, mine's back there. Oh, okay. What if my car's gone? That's the twist. Yes, I would love that. I wouldn't love it because you have to get home, but that would be a fun twist. Also, we're walking in the middle of the street talking into a phone. You're not embarrassed, right? I am. Are you really? Yeah. I am. Why am I embarrassed? And you're not. I don't know. It just feels like I would think people would think we're talking to the same person on the phone.

53:29Oh. Like we've called someone, a mutual friend. So every time someone walks by, I'm just going to be like, yeah, John. Yeah, John. I guess I'm used to mall walking too, where you walk around with a microphone. I know. That's true. Do I get a snack on the way home? Yeah. Here's a half-eaten turkey stick. Yeah. You got a meat stick in your hand. We could talk about the snacks at Team Coco because when you finish recording a session and even before, you and I are often kind of meeting up at the snack basket or whatever. I hate to admit this, Matt. I don't know if you do this. I plan my day around the snacks I'm going to eat at the office.

54:08Meaning you won't eat a meal if you know you're coming in? I'll be like, oh, I know I'm going to shove my face full of like, you know, popcorn from the office. So I'm just not going to eat too much for breakfast. Hey, John. Hey, John. It's so good to talk to you, John. I almost look like I have no money and no resources because every time I leave Team Coco, it's with a handful of chips and tin cans and all this food. You have a LaCroix in your hand and a meat stick. Hey, John, you won't believe who I'm walking with. We miss you, John. Come visit us soon. It's so nice out here. What celebrity could we imagine John is?

54:47What do you mean? Like a celebrity named John. Who's the biggest John? John Krasinski? John Tentoro? John Tesh? John Krasinski? John Tesh? Is it John? Wait, is it John Tesh? It's not. That is, isn't it? It's not. Why did I think his name was Bill Tesh? hey bill who's the biggest john john john oh there's it's a lamborghini what it's a lamborghini that's the one i'm glad we we closed the loop on whether that was a lamborghini or a ferrari okay we're going in i'm also halfway through a mouthful of turkey stick we're going downstairs where are you taking me when you eat a beef stick let's say that was the beef version do you ever say you're getting a hot beef injection?

55:35Every time. This is a turkey stick, so I say I'm getting a hot gobbler. I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on thinking John Tesh's name was Bill Tesh.

55:47I'm just really excited I had my keys because I thought I was going to inconvenience you right now. Oh, no. What's the matter? You weren't recording? I think I'm still recording. We'll find out at the end. No, it's still rolling. Oh, there it is! And your car's still here! Yes! Wow, what a win-win. I'll drive you in your car. Oh, you don't have to do that. No, yeah, it's fine. You can get all the way here and then we can record a little longer. Keep this segment going, huh? Give the people what they want to hear? They're like, hey, you know what? For a while, I was wondering... Wait, wait, I have the phone and you're far away.

56:23Hold on. I was going to say, I bet people always wonder, like, what's it like when it's just Sona and Matt? And now you know, and maybe they're like, oh, we're good. Maybe, but I can at least describe the interior of Sona's car, and it's got tax mahogany, like, fisting block. Don't say, it's not a fisting, it's not a fisting block. It's a fisting, if I'm eating a hot beef injection, this is a mahogany fisting block. He punches it to condition his hands. Because, you know, if you don't punch it, then your hands are weak. What's this? It's a rolling pin, but he does something with that too. It's just a wooden oak dowel.

57:05Yeah, he like, yes, I think he hits his legs with it or something. No, I think he's in a child's musical band. When he says he has a gig, he's going to a preschool. I'm so glad my car's here. I'm so glad I have my keys. What do you got planned for the rest of the day? I'm going to get fucked up. I already am, baby.

57:33okay you can actually drop me off right here because that's my orange lamborghini oh is it okay but you weren't sure if it was a lamborghini or a ferrari i just said give me something fast and expensive yeah you're such a lamborghini guy i should have waited for those people to cross the street i'm the lamborghini guy you're you do you think you're a lamborghini person i know i'm not i think i'm a corvette person what yeah really i would do i I would fuck a Corvette. Up? I would just fuck it. Oh, you are getting fucked up today. Oh, my God. What is partying? No wonder you... Oh, my God. That's where I am right there.

58:10You could pull over right here. I'm going to do a U-E-D-E-E. Oh, full service? Yeah. I'm not going to take you to your car, but I'm going to get you close to it. Because you know what? You were really nice enough to almost drive me to my car. Thank you. No, my car's pissed at you. Okay, I'm going to put these wooden child instruments down. and I'll say my goodbye. Thank you, Sona. Love you, girls. Love you. Bye. Bye. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sona Mofsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

58:49Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. me?

58:56Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.