That Zagrebian ’Tude

0:03Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. hi tasha welcome to kona o 'brien needs a fan oh my god hello guys hi tasha how are you uh great very excited to see you i thought i would be so nervous that i would be shocked and frozen but i'm so happy to see you yes well often when people see us they're underwhelmed So that calms them down immediately. Tasha, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you in the world right now? I'm in Croatia, in Zagreb, the capital of Croatia. Okay, you're in Zagreb, Croatia. I've never been to Croatia.

0:53And I would be fascinated. I know, you know, have never experienced the culture there. No, I think you should, though. That's a really good reason to come and experience it. Are you a native of Zagreb, Croatia? You were born there? I am. I was born in Zagreb in Croatia. And my family's from the coast, from the islands of Croatia. We have many, many islands and this beautiful sea, the Adriatic Sea. That's right. So you should definitely come and visit. Okay. Well, a bunch of questions. What do you do for a living? Can I ask you that? Of course. Yeah. I have two jobs actually at the moment. I am a psychotherapist.

1:40I've just finished my training. Oh, you're a psychotherapist. Yes. And my other job is I'm a cruise manager on luxury yachts and these mini cruises. Wow. Okay. Everything I know about those mini yachts and cruises are from the show Below Deck. My wife loves the show Below Deck. Is it kind of, is it like Below Deck? uh it's kind of i mean yeah they make it a little bit more spectacular and uh dramatic but it is beautiful and there is a yeah there is a little bit of drama can i ask you a question and you don't have to answer this but are members of the crew getting it on i don't know if that's a common term in zagreb croatia but are people hooking up on the cruise i think so but since i'm the cruise manager, they don't tell me about it.

2:32They're keeping it in the crew mess. That's why you're supposed to have a camera with night vision in every room. That's how they do it on Below Deck. Those people have signed consent forms, though, I think. Do you really have to have someone sign a consent form if you're going to put a night vision camera? And watch them have sex? Is that something? Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on, Eduardo, that stuff, that equipment we installed has to come out. No, Eduardo. That equipment we installed nine years ago has to come out. Whoops. And you have to erase the 10 ,000 hours of tape that I've put into the cloud.

3:11Okay, well, this is interesting, Tasha. Where did you install these cameras? Where are they? Don't worry about it, but you need to clean your inside of your car. No! No! Oh,

3:25but Tasha, this is fascinating. You have two jobs and they're both kind of interesting to me. First of all, you've trained to be a therapist. I could find that quite useful because I'm always looking for therapeutic advice. And I don't know if you have if you've been a regular listener, maybe you have some observations about me or ways that you could help me. I do I have been a regular listener and watcher since 93 uh so I I have diagnosed you many times even though it's completely unprofessional to do so you've diagnosed me by watching the television show since 93 and listening to the podcast yeah and can you in a very can you very briefly tell me what you think the issue is uh briefly i'm gonna rest my eye on the microphone okay okay well there's there's a bad news and good news okay uh so bad news everyone knows you're neurotic and anxious because you've been not open about it right yeah uh but the good news is that you're open about it and you let others, you make fun of yourself.

4:42You let others make fun of you, which is a really great way to be healthier about it. Or is it just a sad survival mechanism? Well, that's, it's a good survival mechanism, I think, in my professional opinion. Okay. I like you. You're a good therapist because you approve of the way I behave. so i do but but but but uh what i think is that there there is some conflict that you have with some members of your staff that is not fully healthy i think i think that should be your result yeah okay anyone here maybe that uh that you're talking about and again this is completely informal because it's not professional for me to do this.

5:31But yeah, I see you, Sona. So I want to say that Sona is dealing with it really in a healthy way because she is getting back at you all the time, very directly and openly. And you can't hurt her. Right. Sona, if you dish it out, Sona dishes it right back and it's a healthy exchange. Exactly. Healthy exchange. Now, Matt, I think there is a little bit of passive aggressiveness between the both of you. And I think you should talk about it and you should maybe go to a couples therapist about it. Or I can do it over Zoom as well. You know what? I think, I hate to admit it, but Tasha, I think you're right.

6:20Because I think. Just a little bit. What if I'm not looking to improve the relationship? But you are because you always want him to be your father figure. You have an open about it. I can tell you with 100 % certainty that I do not want him to be my father figure. It's more like brother figure, I think. I think older brother. Yeah, I think you two are like bros. Yeah, I think I'm an older brother that fathered you. That sired me? Yes. and we're going to leave it at that, which means now I really need your help, Tasha. That was very unhealthy, Kerman. Let's not go there. Well, okay. Let's switch to your other job, which is luxury cruise manager.

7:14You know, and so now I'm picturing you, you're on the luxury cruise and there are issues because you don't know the way I do because I've watched a lot of Below Decks because my wife's obsessed, especially Below Deck and Down Under. High Wiser. I love that you're telling a doctor, you don't know the way I do. No, I'm telling you, you say you don't know what's going on Below Deck on your luxury cruises. And I'm telling you, it's going on. They're doing it. There's all kinds of sexual hijinks happening aboard your boat. and you need to know that that is happening. And if I came there, I know I'd catch some of them in the act if you let me install cameras.

7:59Oh my God. So what? They don't sign a form. What are they going to do? I'm going to flee the country afterwards. Why does she need to know if the staff is hooking up? I just want the footage. I agree. So I can't believe I have a father thing. Where is this going? Well, okay. I'm just curious about what's going on. What role do you think I could play? If you're not going to let me install cameras secretly, night vision cameras, I'm guessing we'll use the same. Eduardo, you like the F750s. 750s are great. Okay. We are going to, maybe we'll install cameras, maybe we won't. But if I were to come and work on the boat, what would my function be?

8:46If I were to come and work on the boat, what do you think I would do there? Okay, so I think first you should try all the different roles. And I think also Sona should come because I want Sona to teach me how to not care about my job as much. I really want that. That's great. She's very high, strong in my job. And I love you, Sona. I love you too, Tasha. Yeah, no, Sona's really good at that. She just has been coaching some brain surgeons and some cardiac thoracic surgeons. And a lot of people are dying now, but they don't care as much. The doctors are happier. They're cool with it. If you don't care, then you don't care, then they die.

9:29Yeah, flatlining.

9:39Okay, so what am I doing on the boat? What do you picture me doing? And do keep in mind, I have, you seem to have very fair skin. Do you use a lot of sunscreen when you're out on the boat? Oh, no, no. My skin is great. I have Mediterranean skin. It's just that I take care of it. So it looks like it's fair. But you have a very delicate skin and you can't be out in the sun. And we know that. I'm like a very old Japanese woman. I need to be, I have to have a big hat and I have to be inside wearing gloves and glasses. And the little umbrella. Parasol. Parasol. Parasol. I could see you walking around the yacht like that.

10:21So you say you have Mediterranean skin and you take very good care of it. And then you pivoted to me and said, I have delicate skin and then - Yeah. Implied that I don't take care of it. Yeah. That's fine. That's what I took away from it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. No, it's what came across. It's very Croatian of you. It's very Zagrebian. You're giving me that Zagrebian tood. There's the title. Zagrebian tood. That Zagrebian tood. So what do you think would be, what do you think I'd be best at on the boat? Clearly I probably shouldn't pilot it. That would be a bad idea. Sail it, you mean? Yeah, sorry.

11:00Captain, okay. I think you, I know that you really, you have really good coordination, your body physically are very well coordinated. So I think you should, what's that face from Sona? Not just Sona, it was me too. Saying, I think you called the wrong show.

11:24But anyway, let's go with it. Yes, I'm very well, I'm coordinated. I'm a master athlete and I have total command of my body, which is well-proportioned. Yeah, so that's what we need. And you have Mediterranean skin. I have Mediterranean skin and I've taken very good care of it. And I'm a sexual symbol. Tasha, what about security? What about anything like that? Could I be a guy who walks around the boat and makes sure that there's no trouble? Yeah, when we stop in these really popular hotspots on these islands where everyone comes to party, than past a certain hour at night when a lot of young people are coming back from the clubs drunk.

12:11They try to get on their boats. Oh, even if they're not part of the cruise, they try to illegally get on the boat? Yeah, because we have nice, we have jacuzzi, we have squash pool. It's really nice. So they try to get in and, you know, get it on, as you said earlier. Yes, that's the way most people describe sex. in America here in 2025 is getting it on. I don't go outside much. My point is you think that I would maybe be good at keeping interlopers, intruders from getting on the boat because of my size, my commanding presence. Why are you shaking your head? No. Just because maybe they would be scared when they see you.

13:00Scared. I mean, why would they be scared? Because no one has orange hair in Croatia. So why don't you just hire a fucking party clown to stand outside the boat? Why don't you just get like a down on his luck Ronald McDonald with sores on his face? You have to wear your whole the hat and the umbrella and the gloves and you just come up to kids and you're like, get off the boat. Yeah, suddenly I'm a clown from It. What? It's the ghost of La Llorona. So, okay. So I would frighten people from coming on the boat because of my pale skin and orange hair. No, I take it back. I'm sorry. No, you can't take it back.

13:42That's not how it works in therapy, Tasha. You don't say things and then take it back. Wow, this is intense. I do think - No, no. I love you, Conan. I do. I love you. I used to be in love with you. So all these jokes are just... That's so nice. This is the below deck. Yeah, your therapist just told you she loved you. Yeah, my therapist just told me she loved me and she's inviting me on a luxury cruise and she says there's no cameras below deck. This is a loaded situation. Yes. What do you do? What do you mean, what do you do? Croatia, here I come. See you later. And you show up and she just puts you on the deck duty with all the kids from the club.

14:32Put on your orange wig. Come on, you can't come on the boat. It's back.

14:45Well, that's very nice. It sounds like you've been watching the show for a long time, which is very nice. You're a committed fan. Yeah, I have been since. Can I tell you about it? Yeah. But seriously, for a moment. Yeah, yeah, sure. if we may be serious for a moment so i have been watching you since uh maybe day two or three or five something like that but the first season in 93 and uh you know krisha used to be part of yugoslavia and then we separated and we had a war of independence in the 90s so a couple years into the war um is when your show started and i had uh for some reason i had your show here available in europe on cable and uh i'm getting a little emotional uh so we had we had this surreal reality of the war and then also being students i was 20 when your show started and was a student But also we had to somehow help the war effort.

15:51So a lot of us were volunteering or working as interpreters, things like that. So it was a very surreal thing where we would be, you know, for a couple of weeks, would be out there near where the fighting was. And then we'd come back home where there was less fighting. And I would watch TV. And that was my sort of support and my escape from it. And it was very exciting when your show started. And it was one of the main shows that I watched and it brought me joy and relief. And there was this crazy, nervous guy with this weird sense of humor. And well, not too weird for us because - I thought you were describing someone else for a second.

16:42Then I realized it was me. There was this crazy, I'm like, Yeah, I don't know what happened to that guy. But. And then we would, you know, one day it would be like this horror of the war. And another day, there are two guys sitting in a meat locker and describing celebrities through like steaks. I remember that. If you remember that. I remember the meat locker episode. We did a lot of very weird, strange things. You know, I have to say, Tasha, it means a lot to me that you and some of your friends were watching that and that it brought you some comfort because especially in those early years we were doing this show, we didn't know who was watching, let alone, I mean, we didn't know who was watching or if anyone was watching in the United States, but the idea that you were going through this terrible ordeal and your people were going through this terrible ordeal and that you got some sustenance out of our silliness means everything to me.

17:42I mean, that's the magic of it all. And I'm glad, I'm so happy that we were able to provide a little bit of relief from what sounds like just a terrible experience. And so I'm very happy that you shared that with me. That's really meaningful. It really means a lot to me to be able to share it with you. This is like a dream come true. And I watch you guys now all the time, like listen and watch and you have such a wholesome show. I know I've joked in the beginning about all your diagnoses, but. And it's not untrue. You can have both. It's not untrue. I think we have the right intentions. We are well-intentioned here.

18:31And then of course, you know, we're all dealing with, we're humans. So we're all dealing with whatever nonsense we have in our heads. And, but the magic, the ultimate magic to me is when we can turn that into something positive to somebody who, I mean, if it weren't for this show, I'd never have met you. And it's just lovely to meet you and, and a gift. It's a gift to meet you. You seem really funny and cool and smart. And I do hope I get to come on your boat. And I do hope you let me install cameras. I just. You ruined it. I did ruin it. I'm still a good guy. I just want footage of strangers having sex.

19:10And there's, I don't think that diminishes any of what Tasha has said. Because that brings me comfort. Anyway, Tasha, it was an absolute joy talking to you. We're going to wrap this up, but you're a very special person. And I do hope that we get to meet up. That would be very cool. Yes. Thank you so much, everyone. It's lovely to see you and you're such wonderful people and keep doing this. Don't ever quit. Okay. Yeah. All right. I like that. Take care, Tasha. Thanks, Tasha. Bye-bye. Bye. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Ovcesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

19:51Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

20:00Supervising producer, Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate Producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.