The Jazz Singer

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0:42Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype? Yeah, like all the time. Yeah, I did that with an all-potato restaurant. Oh, no. marketers know that feeling they optimize for the numbers that look great like impressions but then they don't see revenue you know what i'm talking about oh yeah all the time yeah linkedin has a word for that bull spend yeah instead you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with linkedin ads cut the bull spend advertise on linkedin spend 250 and get a 250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Conan. Terms apply.

1:27Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hi, Lucy. Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a fan. Hello. Lucy. Hi, Lucy. How are you? Hi, Sona. Hi, Conan. I'm great. How are you? I'm guessing you already know Sona. Is that right? I know her. Yeah, you know, it's a small world when you're an Armenian. But, you know, but I wanted to make sure that I met you not through Sona. Mm-hmm. You know, to avoid any kind of nepotism. Yeah. I just found out today. But also, it's funny. Nobody asked her if she knows me because they didn't want to seem like racist or, you know, act like, oh, you're Armenian.

2:14So you must know Sona. But we actually met before. That's so funny. And I didn't tell them that I knew you. So this is good. This is good. Well, how do you say your last name, Lucy? It's Yegazarian. Yegazarian. Okay. And do you live in the same community as Sona? No. I live in New York, so there's no Armenians here. Oh, you're in New York. Okay. Very good. Very good. There's no Armenians here, which is good. I like it like that. Oh, yeah. That's great. Not racist at all. I hate Armenians. Those people drive me crazy. They do. They do. Yeah, I'm with you, girl. Well, I get street cred because when I get into, it sounds, it's just absolutely true.

2:58But whenever I take an Uber, I would say, what would you say, Sona, like 80 % of the time? Maybe even more. The driver is Armenian and he knows that I went to Armenia with Sona. And he's seen clips from the episode. And Sona's taught me enough little bits of Armenian that I can say, hello, how are you? Where's the restroom? And we have a nice ride together. It's good. I'm really glad, but I'm really glad my Uber drivers are not Armenian. I mean, I love my people, but in moderation. Yeah, it's too much. I avoid the Irish at all costs. There you go. Really, a horrible tribe, a horrible tribe. Well, tell me about yourself.

3:38What do you do, Lucy? I'm a jazz singer. Yes, very cool. Yeah. That's great. It's like kind of stereotypically as New York as it gets, I know. But when I moved to New York, I came here with a degree in world history. So I was looking for a job with that. And I couldn't find one. And I'd been singing for years and years. And I had to pay the rent. I was so broke. And people kept calling for, you know, restaurant gigs and things like that. So I kind of gave up. And I was like, all right, I guess I'll just continue with the singing thing. And it's been a long, long time now that I'm doing that. So, yeah, I do that.

4:14And then during COVID, I opened a little cookie business because there was no work and, you know, I needed the money. So I do a little bit of that on the side. But overall, I'm just a singer. Well, quick question. Sona, have you heard Lucy perform? I have. And she is absolutely amazing. And I'm not just saying that because I've met her and I know her. She is such an incredible jazz singer. And I'll send you her stuff. Thank you. I think you should definitely. Yeah, I'd like to listen to it. Really, really amazing. That's really impressive. And I'm just curious, how did you get into jazz singing?

4:48It's so specific. You must have known at an early age, oh, I have a good voice. I have a good control of my voice. And I like this kind of music. You know, see, I grew up in Armenia in the 90s, and we were, you know, everyone was poor. And I think every parent was kind of looking for that thing that their kid could do to get them out. And I think my mom realized, like, oh, I think my kids can sing. Sing. Sing so we can get a visa. So it was like that, you know? I know. It's so dark, but it's true. That's how it is, you know? Sure. Of course. But jazz, I don't know. My dad was into it. He had a lot of like kind of semi shady friends during the Soviet Union that would get these like jazz records that weren't supposed to be in the USSR.

5:31So he always had these, you know, random recordings of things. Oftentimes you wouldn't have a cover for it. So you had no idea who was playing it. It was like recorded over a Michael Bolton CD, you know, but people weren't sure if it was Ella or Carmen or who. But it was always to me, it was like it was the sound of America. It's what America sounded like to me. And I was always drawn to it. Even, you know, I didn't speak English when we got here. How did you learn to speak English? From you. No. Are you serious? And I know that's insane. And the reason why I actually submitted to this is because I was talking to somebody and I mentioned you and I was like, I learned English pretty much from Conan, Family Guy, and Mr.

6:12Rogers. That's the trifecta. Yes. Many times I've seen those three circles intersect. It's so funny because this is not the first time. Many times I've had people tell me that, yeah, you were on the Internet in my country or there was a weird channel that mistakenly showed you. And they would learn English from me, which I find kind of horrifying, but I'm also happy. Your English is fantastic, by the way. Thank you. I mean, I was obsessive about kind of like passing as an American. So I didn't want to have an accent. But I think people don't give enough credit to television and especially, you know, late night television where that fourth wall isn't there.

6:54So you were talking to me, you know, reading books and all that stuff in school is fine. But it feels like somebody is actually talking to you. It's very intimate. It's very intimate. And and that makes me very happy. I'm very happy you're in our country. You're clearly very cool and extremely talented. and I wish I could do what you do. I don't know. Yeah, but you don't know if I'm any good at it. What's that? You don't know if I'm any good at it. Sona's raising about you. She says you're terrific. And you know what? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, because you seem like a humble person.

7:29You don't seem like a self-promoter. I'm imagining you're very good at this. I really do. So I'm going to have Sona get me some of your music and I'll listen to it. But before I do that, I'd like a lesson from you. How would I sing? I just want to, let's say I want to, you know, these careers, they come and go. I might need to get into jazz singing late in my life. And this would be the time when you're the perfect person to, hey, I taught you to speak English. You teach me jazz singing. Jazz singing. Okay. So I guess the most common, you know, thing people associate with jazz singing is scat singing, right?

8:07Scat. most people are really bad at it, especially singers themselves. But I think the easiest approach to it is to think like if you were drunk at a bar and there's this song you remembered and you want to remind the guy next to you at the bar, like, you know this song, it goes, and how would you sing the melody? That's what scat singing is. You're like just trying to recreate a melody. So give me a tune. Give me like a Christmas song. Well, it's got to be something we can clear. Is that right? I forget what the rules are here. We still don't know. I don't know. We still don't know what the rules are on a song, So it's got to be something Maybe we should just do Row, row, row your boat Because I don't imagine We have to pay any money for that That's fine So let's just say It's row, row, row your boat So I'm drunk And I'm trying to tell you Remember the song You sing Summer Cal Come on Come on We'll see It's row, row, row your boat You know that song?

8:57Yeah It's the one that goes No, no, no No, no So like

9:18Sir, you're bothering the other customers, and I've been told to eject you. We already asked you to leave three times, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. How was that? Be honest. Okay, you got to bring it down. Bring it down? That was a lot. I'm drunk. How drunk am I? When I'm drunk, I don't bring it down. No, like a mellow kind of drunk. Oh, I see. Not like a psychotic Irishman drunk. Okay, that's too much. Everything I do is wrong. No, that was good. Now go right in between the first one and that one.

10:14I think it had moments. Why are you crying? You're crying. It had moments. And you're hurting yourself with the paper. It was built in various moments. Why are you stabbing yourself with a paper, a paper, a letter opener? Oh my God.

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14:22What's your favorite kind of songs? What are the themes of your favorite songs? Thematically, you know, what do you like? I used to avoid singing blueses. I thought I was too young and I didn't get it. But I really enjoy singing a blues. And especially, you know, like old, old blueses that are about terrible, terrible men. I like those. I like those. but I don't do it to like I don't like divisive music I don't do it to mock the gents I guess I mock them for a moment but I like to point out the elephant in the room and then we can all kind of like laugh at it and move forward together I think speaking as a gent I think a lot of us need ridiculing and you know we should be able to take it now I don't mean me specifically I can't handle it and I'm never to be criticized in any way in song or prose.

15:12But, yeah. I actually think people take it well when it's with a sprinkling of humor and in the arts. You know what I mean? It's hard to have those conversations, but I think when you're singing it, I can sing a lot of things that I can't say to people to their face. You know, it's funny you say that. I come from a fairly repressed culture where you don't say something. If I'm unhappy with someone, I don't tell them. I keep it locked inside and I resent. And I learned many, many years ago that I can make these sort of passive-aggressive jokes where they're laughing, but I think maybe 20 minutes after I've left, they notice, hey, wait a minute, I think he doesn't want me to take the last slice of cake anymore.

16:01because he just sang to me a song which I enjoyed about assholes who take the last piece of cake. So, I mean, Sona, you've seen me. I'm the maestro, yes? Yeah, I mean, if there's a genre of music that's just being passive-aggressive, Conan would be the number one artist, I think, because you're creative. I'd be Pavarotti. I'd be Pavarotti. You would, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the passive-aggressive genre. Then you'd make a good jazz singer. There's plenty of that in the American songbook. But you're absolutely right. I've actually found that my husband's a saxophone player, and whenever he's on stage, I'll say things to him on stage, just banter in between that I would never say to him off.

16:40But it, like, releases the tension. And then we get off and we're good. Like you need to do the dishes and things like that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's in the middle of a solo and you say, ha-ha, you're a terrible lover. Anyway. I'm going to try that. Yeah, try that. Guys love that, especially when they're on stage.

17:05So I'm curious, famously, to try and sing jazz, you talked about tough times. Was there a moment that was just the lowest for you where you had no money, you didn't know what to do, and you had to take a drastic step? Yeah, I mean, when I first moved to New York, I was working as a tour guide at Madison Square Garden. Yeah, that's some great tour. Yeah, it was rough. Actually, I got fired. To your left is a hobo. Over there is a puddle of urine. Sorry. I got fired because I used to tell them that there used to be a beautiful train station there, and they tore it down to build this, and they didn't like that.

17:51Yes, and station torn down so they could put up that monstrosity. Yeah, they didn't like that, so I got fired. But right around that time, I couldn't pay rent, and I had just no money, and I had this horrible toothache once. And I went in, and they were like, it's this big, long thing. We got to do it. And I said, I don't have money. And they said, well, we can just pull it out. And I didn't have money for that either. And I ended up selling an old mandolin I had to get the tooth pulled out. This is like an O. Henry story. You know, I was just thinking, did you ever think of taking the mandolin and using it to smash the tooth out?

18:27That's a good twist to the story. All I have is this mandolin to get my tooth out. Wait a minute. And then you smash it out. But then the mandolin breaks and you've damaged the tooth only more and you have no mandolin. And that's the end of the story. And it's called Shitty Story. It sure is.

18:51I'm going to write a whole book of those where it's just got that kind of twist ending and it sucks. Madolin's shitty stories. Just doesn't resolve, leads nowhere. She knew then that she had to smash the tooth out with her own mandolin. She did it. It ruined both things. And then she was even worse off. Next chapter. Right after that, I did this big competition that tends to be like the big break for a lot of jazz musicians called the Monk Competition. And I lost. So that was really the cherry on top. So it was great. Well, it's because your mouth was bleeding and you were playing a broken mandolin.

19:24Just blood shooting out your mouth, your head swollen, and you're playing a mandolin that's in three pieces. Outside of Madison Square Garden. Exactly. Yeah. And the hobo's like, I like it.

19:40That's so, I mean, I think you're a very impressive person. I have enormous respect for immigrants. I think people don't understand that you're, you know, most Americans are born into a language they never have to and they never have to switch. And when people are born into one language and one culture and then they have to remake themselves, as you have done, to speak a completely different language. and I know there are many immigrants that speak three languages, it takes an amount of grit and courage that's awe-inspiring. It really is. And you're just a very impressive person. I think it's so cool.

20:26Thank you. Thank you. I agree as far as immigrating. It's a strange thing to do. Yeah, yeah. It's a hard thing to do. I mean, Sona, to learn English when you were in your late 20s. Okay. When I met Sona, she did not speak a word of English. And I hired her as my assistant. And remember when I painted the alphabet? Do I remember when I didn't speak English in my late 20s? Is that what you're asking? Yeah. Okay. Is this the story where you said I jumped out of a bush and then you're like, I'll domesticate you and teach you English? or is this the one where I floated to this country in a basket? They're one story.

21:06They are one story? Your dad was being attacked by goats. Okay. He quickly made a small boat out of thatch and leaves, and he floated across from the island of Armenia over to Los Angeles. I was walking along in search of an assistant. You had, like Superman, grown to maturity in the boat. It took a long time. Yeah. And then you saw what you thought was a redheaded woman walking down the street and you jumped out and said, And I said, oh, my God. And remember? And then I taught you everything you needed to know to become one of the most important people in America. Oh, thank you. I'm so indebted to you.

21:47Are you as offended as I am that he said that I floated off the island of Armenia, Lucy? I mean, it's very landlocked. It's landlocked. There's no body of water around here. No, you haven't been there in a while. There's a piece that broke off. Oh, God. Just Google it, Sona. Google it. Okay. Anyway, as you can see, Lucy, I'm a very ignorant man. I'm a very foolish man. And you are a very talented artist, a very beautiful person. And you decided to spend time with me. So this is on you. And now my scatting career begins. Yes. But I'm going to have Sona get me your work because I really want to listen to it.

22:36Yeah, please. I also have a show at the Alex on February 13th. You're more than welcome to it. Where is that? In Glendale? In Glendale. In Glendale? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, maybe we can come see you. Yeah, I mean, it's an easy Valentine's Day if you don't have any ideas. You know what I'm saying? I'll be there. I don't have a date. I would love that. My wife will not speak to me on Valentine's Day. She says, don't even think about it She's busy with her boyfriend Yeah Man, that guy's a looker Thank you Thank you Okay, you just ruined it Now it's not believable Well, Lucy, thank you so much For reaching out to us I do get I get great energy talking to People like you, very positive very talented, and you've given me a lift, and you're really funny.

23:28So thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me English, Conan, even though you didn't mean to. And Sona, don't you want to thank me too? No, I'm okay. I'm good. Thank you. No, I mean no thank you. I'm good. Nah, shit. Okay. All right. Well, you take care. Thank you. You guys too. Happy holidays. Bye, Lucy. Bye, Sona. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.

24:14Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

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