Walton Goggins

28:28There's a lot of countries I could, I've got a tour coming ahead of you, is what you're saying. I do. You know, my mom was a great dancer. She was a really good dancer. And she took me into clogging lessons when I was really young so that I could kind of dance with her. And she also kind of taught me how to two-step. I grew up kind of going to honky-tonk bars and things of that nature. And she did a dance called the Bop, which is kind of the Florida version of the North Carolina Shag, which is kind of like the working man's version of a very kind of posh Southern dance. And dancing and music and drinking and celebration was a big part of my childhood.

29:18And I'm so grateful for it. I don't meet that many people that have clogging on their resume or hog calling. It's so funny because... Can you make a still in 10 minutes? Yes, I can, sir. You know what? I had somebody come up to me the other day, a very dear friend of mine. And I just posted this picture of... Just because it was the end of a very big block in the White Lotus. and I was having a glass of wine, which I do nightly, and listening to this Radiohead song. And I just recorded this video of me singing this Radiohead song. And when I am asked what it was like working on The White Lotus, this is probably what I'll say.

30:03And a very good friend of mine said the next day, I saw her, and she said, you listen to Radiohead? Yeah, I listened to Radiohead. She said, I thought you only listened to Waylon Jennings. I thought you were only like Willie Nelson, only like Ernest Tubbs. Yeah, yeah. You know? I said, no, man, I listen to Ethiopian jazz, man. I listen to everything. You got to, you know what I mean? Like once you lead with I clog and I haul call, that everybody else thinks, well, you know, he always eats fried pork chops and country fried steak and biscuits. Where's Walton? I don't know. Let's go to the Cracker Barrel.

30:43He'll be over there. Hey, where's Walton? Walton's over there. He's at the jerky stand. That's where he spends all his pernium. Yeah. Yeah, the studio's chewing you out. You spent$900 on jerky? It's funny, you know, it's funny, because I am a, I mean, a fan of all your work across the board, and I'm really loving Fallout, which we will get to. really loving uh fallout in your role in that and your portrayal of the ghoul i'm just so it's so funny because i was thinking about you know what are your influences and what sort of lit you up you know when you were a kid yeah i will never forget i think it was the first year i was doing the late night show so it'd be 1993 we had billy bob thornton on and he had just done he had just done sling blade and i'm talking to him and i'm thinking oh my god this guy's up for the oscar and And everyone's talking about this new guy, Billy Bob Thornton.

31:44And what an incredible, he transformed into this character. And what an amazing. And I sit down with him and I said, so, you know, and I'm nervous because I'm new at this gig. Not sure I'm going to make it. And I just said, well, what are your influences? Thinking he would say, well, you know, the plays of Chekhov or something. And he said, the Andy Griffith show. And I said, what? And then he proceeded to talk about the Andy Griffith show for the entire interview. So I was fascinated by that because I thought, I love that he knows the Andy Griffith show that well. And he's a Southern fellow, but he loves that show.

32:19And I remembered thinking, you're right, it was the best character comedy of its day. I mean, just beautifully acted and written character comedy. And I revere that show. And I think you had a similar attachment to the Andy Griffith show, didn't you? Yeah, I can't believe that you're bringing that up. First and foremost, Billy is an old friend of mine, and we met doing The Apostle with Robert Duvall. And it was just kind of right around that time. I think maybe he had done the movie, but the movie hadn't come out yet. And then I had done this movie with Dwight Yoakam, and so I had fallen into this group of some of my heroes.

32:57Because I'm from the South, you know, and he's from Arkansas, and it's Dwight Yoakam. No, but they were genuinely some of my heroes and I was hanging out with them. And I was camping up in Yosemite after Sling Blade came out and I came down for some reason to call my answering machine from the payphone that is in the middle of nowhere up there. And I called and there was a message from Billy Bob saying, you know, hey, man, you know, I've got this thing I want you to do. And but you need to get here immediately. I went with my girlfriend, packed all the stuff up, came back and went down and did it.

33:38But Andy Griffith was in that movie. And so we got to meet Andy Griffith and kind of hang out with him. But getting ready, as most actors do or creators do, the same question for you, but getting ready for the unicorn. I was looking for, okay, you know, what is this and who is Wade and how can I ground him? How can I make this a half hour sitcom without ever telling a joke and make it as touching as it is, as it is funny. And so I sat down and started watching all of Andy Griffith. I thought I would only watch like the first season, but I watched the first two. It's deeply political, deeply personal, and it's comforting.

34:20And it is very, very funny. And my son came into the experience with me, and we didn't stop until we finished RFD, Mayberry RFD, at the end without Andy even involved with it anymore. And it's an extraordinary experience. It's unbelievable you got to work with Andy Griffith. Yeah, I'm a huge, huge Andy Griffith fan. And we actually, this movie that my partner and I made, at one point, we wanted, it was the fourth movie we made, but we made a movie for, we produced a movie for somebody else, another filmmaker. And it was called Them That Follow. Not Them That Follow, that's my movie. It was called.

34:59I think you're having a total psychotic break. I am having a psychotic break. And I think you need a drink immediately. I do need a drink. This coffee just isn't cutting it. you know what I'll think I'll think of the name of the movie in a second I these things come and go with me I'm like right here in the middle you know we can do we can uh I can we can insert it later using my voice yes but I'll be trying to sound like you perfect and it will be awful yeah can you say the sentence you're gonna say and leave a space for the movie and then we'll put Conan's perfect yeah and we were we were we were doing this uh movie called that evening son And we reached out to Andy Griffith first, right?

35:38And he read it and he just wasn't comfortable with it. But that was our one chance to work with Andy after this experience with Billy Bob. And we wound up reaching out to Hal Holbrook and Hal did it and killed it. Yeah. I don't think I've told this story. I hope I haven't. But Andy Griffith was on our show early on. No! Yes, sir. And sometimes, you know, the writers will pressure a performer to do a sketch or a bit if you go on a late night show. And, hey, Walton, it might be funny if we cut backstage and you were, you know, we were lighting you on fire or something. That's a bit we always try to do.

36:15Anyway, this writer who, God bless him, he's not with us anymore, Marsh McCall. walked up to Andy Griffith and said, Mr. Griffith, we have this idea for you that you could do on the show where Conan's doing the monologue and we cut backstage to you and it could be really funny. And Andy Griffith could not have been nicer. He said, you know, sir, thank you so much for this offer and I'm really honored. I do love writers and I've always relied on great writing but I think I'll take a pass. I just want to talk to Conan, I think, this first time and maybe when I come back. And so Marsh leaves the room.

36:47Then Marsh decides, you know, it's a really funny idea. And he goes back and he goes, excuse me, Mr. Griffith? And he goes, yes, sir. And he says, I just think it'd be really funny. I mean, it is a really funny idea. And maybe I didn't explain it right. And he tells him the whole idea again. And Andrew Griffith says, well, no, I do understand the idea, sir. And I appreciate it. And thank you so much. And I just think I'll take a pass this one time. And I'll just talk to Conan. And we'll have the interview. And again, maybe next time. And Marsh leaves. And Marsh goes out in the hallway. And he just had the bit in his mouth.

37:16He couldn't let it go. So he went in one last time. and he went, I'm sorry, Mr. Griffith. And Andy Griffith turned to him and said, with a big smile, son, just walk away.

37:30And it's Andy Griffith from Face in the Crowd. It's that Andy Griffith. In the crowd. Son, just walk away. Yeah. And I've never forgotten that. Wow. What a great, I've got a - That's a great story. Yeah, I just, I don't know. But I'm thinking about, what's interesting to me is that on Justified, you were not supposed to be a recurring character. you know, in Justified. And what's amazing is that only made sense to me later on because in the first episode with you, Tim Oliphant, you know, famously at the end, towards the end of the episode, shoots you and it looks like he shoots you right through the heart.

38:03And then later on they go, he's okay.

38:09And I thought, oh, he shot you in the non-vital part of the heart. And I mean, when you looked at it later on, it was because they looked at you, They looked at you and the dailies and everything, and they said, we can't let this guy go. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't get shot in the arm. You didn't get shot in the throat. You got shot through the heart at close range. And then the next episode. Well, I'm pretty sore about that. I think they filmed this. I mean, if I remember it correctly, they added this scene for the top of episode two. I think, forgive me if I'm wrong, where I think Nick Searcy and Raylan are having a conversation or something like that.

38:51But I'm just being ferried out on a gurney. That's where he says he made it. There's a hole the size of my fist in your heart. That's a big gun. He had a big gun. But they got you to a really good hospital on that country road. Yes.

39:11but you know what's fun is um i mean you've played so many great characters but uh you know in the righteous gemstones i feel like the minute i started watching that show i and then you showed up and i remember not knowing you were going to be in the show for some reason and the minute you show up i thought you can't do the righteous gemstones without walton goggins you have to have him did i did i tell you this story about the about the david gordon green was directing that episode and the very first time you meet uh baby billy he's in a he's in a bathtub oh i know this he's in a he's in a hot tub yeah yeah hot tub bathtub outside looking out at his land looking out over his empire yeah and uh and at some point in the scene he stands up and you know he's his he's fully naked and there the viewer sees viewer sees everything and uh and then he turns around he gets puts on his bathrobe and then steps out of the bathtub well they called in a body double to do that yeah who was 76 78 years old something like that to be in the in the tub right and they flew him in from chicago and i'm like how did you what's the audition process you couldn't find him in South Carolina?

40:30Really? You had to go to Chicago? So he comes in and I meet him. You had to go to Chicago to find a dick? Yeah. This guy's top of his game. Yeah. You have to understand. Top of his game. The toxic guy. And I met him on that day and he was dressed like me, kind of looked like me. And I'm thinking like, who are you? He said, I'm you. You know, I'm your body dub. I'm standing in for you. And it's like, oh, okay. Cut to the show comes out. There it is. and I get a phone call from this friend of mine who says, oh my God, baby Billy Freeman, I just, I can't stand it. I love it so much. And can I just say how good your body looks?

41:09And I said, what the fuck are you talking about? He's 76. 76 years old. You think that's my fucking body?

41:21True story. I did wonder Because the penis is right there Penis is right there In high definition Yeah, that's right Beautifully lit I mean, it's not It's a nice penis I mean, it's a nice penis I don't know It's definitely a Chicago penis Yeah, you can tell And you know what? South side Deep dish That's a south side penis Deep dish Deep dish south side That's a White Sox penis That's not a Cub's penis Does not have a southern accent Yeah Oh, very, very Yankee What's going on here? what are we doing here down south penis shut up you're ruining it I just got out of a hot tub yeah gotta get a sausage come to the white sauce yeah wow that was yeah I just love I mean Danny McBride obviously you know you guys work together so well he is you know he is he is the funniest person I have ever met in my life.

42:24We did this photo shoot for GQ, four vice principals. And this one particular, it wasn't even a skit. We were just dressed up and they were taking these photos and he was Ronald McDonald and I was the Hamburglar. And we were just like hanging out and they were doing this background kind of video or whatever. And I was just talking to them and as the Hamburglar, smoking a cigarette and talking about, yeah, you know, I was, I was, I almost went to jail for stealing, you know, stealing stuff. Like when I was in high school, I got in with the wrong kids and as, as if the Hamburg, this was the Hamburglar's experience, but it was my experience, right?

43:02I had, I had that kind of like happen when I was in a freshman in high school. I love a real depiction of the Hamburglar. Like, you gotta be committed. You gotta be committed. And just at the end, out of nowhere, where Danny just said, like, in some camera, he's like, do you know what the worst thing is I stole? What? A child. And he's dressed. He's dressed as Ronald McDonald. He's dressed as Ronald McDonald. And it's like, drop the microphone. Yes. There it is. There you go. Walk off in. And we just lost our McDonald's sponsorship. It was a part he was playing, not. It was a part. All right. I want to make sure we talk about Fallout because this, first of all, I had my own introduction to the game a long time ago.

43:46And this is not, what I love is, I was talking to someone about this the other day who runs Warner Brothers, a smart guy. And he was telling me that when you do a show about a game, which is becoming more common, you've got to kind of forget the game because it has to be a great story. Meaning, yes, you're using the characters and everything, but you can't rely on fandom from the game. So we did a thing with Fallout when it first came out. Yeah, we did a Clueless Gamer, and yeah, they made us skin-tight vault suits. Yep. And we did a whole cold open where you are walking, as the bombs are dropping, Conan is walking along the back lot and goes to his personal vault, which just happens to be located in the Gilmore Girls Gazebo.

44:31Yeah, the Gazebo opens up, and I go down inside. So anyway, that was my introduction to Fallout. So it's some familiarity with the game, not much, but even though it's a massive success, but then I start watching the show and it's fantastic. Your character, which is, I don't want to give anything away, but it's very cool. You meet your character at the beginning and then you see your character sometime later and your character's been through this insane transformation. I think you can give anything away. I think it's all out there. You can talk about whatever you want. We show up at the beginning, a cowboy working a kid's party, putting kids on the pony.

45:11And then the bombs start to drop and you take off. And then we cut to, which I believe is a long time later, a couple hundred. Yeah, 219 years. 219 years. I thought it was 215, but let's check that, Eduardo. Anyway, it's my podcast. It would have been a better story if it was 215. 215 really sells it. 219 now. Anyway, but your character has been ravaged. And one of the things, you know, I mean, I can, it's you and it's a great performance, but that makeup does not look like something that can happen quick. Like you can't get a 20 minute powder to become the ghoul and start riding around in this hellscape.

45:51I've seen that Instagram time-lapse of you getting into makeup. Yeah. How long does it take? Well, we did three tests, and the first test took five hours. Jesus. Five hours, and on that particular day, it just so happens that I was bit by a brown recluse spider five times that morning. It's a true story. It's bananas. I had to go to the emergency room and get a shot. Did you keep taunting it after it bit you the first time? Trank it. Is that all you got? Trank it. Time. Whoa, whoa. That all you got? Come on. Stay away from my penis. Stay away from my penis. Just the thigh, just the thigh. The spider's like, that's not the penis.

46:32It doesn't look like the penis I saw in Righteous Gemstones. I don't recognize this penis. That wasn't your penis, is baby Billy Freeman. That penis was in great shape. Yours was all fucked up. From jerky and weird South American liqueurs. This is much smaller than I remember. Hey, easy, man. Come on, come on. Enough with the criticism.

47:01So to have to then go perform after you've, even if you get the time down to four hours. We got it. We did get it down to two hours. Right. But still. It's a lot. Yeah. You're there before the sun goes up, obviously. Yeah, we're there way before the sun goes up. Me and my buddy, Jake Garber, who's an old friend of mine who did the application and one of the best in the business. And we, I mean, the whole thing, It was intense. I'm claustrophobic by nature. I've never done anything like this except for one time for this movie for a friend of mine that we shot down in South Africa. I was extremely overwhelmed by the thought of the process.

47:43Once it really dawned on me exactly what this was going to be like every single day. But with anything else, it becomes a new normal. And then it was something that when I didn't have to wear it and I played Cooper Howard, which is the same guy 200 years earlier before the bombs dropped as the story progresses, I felt vulnerable without it. I felt like I didn't have my armor and people wanted to talk to me and they wanted my attention. Whereas when I was the ghoul, everyone left me alone. And I like that. You can see why. Yeah. No one says to the ghoul, hey, what time is it? Yeah. Yeah. and Cooper Howard's everybody's like oh hey what's up man what's going on I'm like just fucking don't talk to me please it's amazing I mean uh yeah I'm amazed by the makeup can inform it obviously you still have to do the acting you still have to bring the performance but the makeup will inform that it is it's it's you know it's what's what's possible and what's impossible You know, and the very first time we put it on, again, it took five hours and I was in a drug state from getting bitten by a brown recluse.

48:54But I took it outside for, I just asked for an hour and a half by myself and just sat in the sun and sat in the shade and took a lot of video of it just to see what this Ferrari would do. Like, what is possible? How can you take a corner here? and looked at the neck and like, okay, what if I touch my head? Am I going to break this skin? Can I touch my face? And it was after that hour and a half and kind of photographing it that we applied it two more times. And then the very first day came where we were filming, and it happened to be 106 degrees heat index in New York where we were filming. And I didn't anticipate that.

49:33I didn't anticipate how hot it would be underneath it. It was the first day that I had put the clothes on with the prosthetics, the boots on, everything was happening, the guns, the gloves, the whole thing. And the last piece that really was the straw that broke the camel's back were these two innocuous retainers that I had to put in my mouth because some people think my teeth are too white. I don't know. They don't fit in the wasteland. so we had to put these in and I thought oh my god I can't really see my peripheral vision is kind of gone and now I gotta you know I have this speech impediment I'm like talking like this you know like like for the first time I just didn't anticipate that I hadn't tried everything on it once and and we got out there and we did it and the first couple of days Conan honestly I would look at Jonah after every take frustrated and deeply insecure about it and say are you what are you seeing here man are you seeing anything are you getting what you need yeah i can't i don't know how to indicate i don't know how to alter what's going on inside of my body and my mind i don't want to i don't all of a sudden i'm not just going to gesticulate to to uh inform the audience about how i feel i don't or is this just going to look like am i going to look like it's just a blank page yeah and is are you going to get anything from this and he kept saying walton we see it all everything is in your eyes yeah we see your it's true yeah it's true you are you are blessed with you've got this i've i've got sneaky beady eyes you've got those big you got those big peepers you know and and you can do so much with those and also i have to say i mean as a fan of fallout and you've been watching it too oh i love it you're absolutely i mean i'm a huge fan of the game and you are absolutely incredible in it and it's so fun to see you play that character it's such like I'm rooting.

51:23I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really rooting for the ghoul. He's awesome. Thank you very much. I always root for the ghoul. Yeah, well. In any situation. Also very nerdily. I love how Cooper's outfit then kind of becomes like the blue and gold like in the beginning. Like that first scene is insane with the bombs dropping. Like truly. At the party. Yeah. Oh my God. Like iconic. And not many people have picked up on the fact that that he never changes his costume. He's entertaining at a children's party. Yeah. And then all these years later, the script has flipped and he's in this completely other reality and now he's the most feared man in this wasteland.

52:01Oh, it's great. But that's his origin story and it's still part of him. The biggest question is why is he performing at a children's birthday party when he's a Western movie star? What happened in between that? And they bring that up. Geneva and, and Geneva, Dwight Robertson and Graham Wagner and Jonah. These are amazing writers, and they put together a great group. Yeah, and it's beautifully done. And talk about, sometimes they spend money on something and you don't see it on the screen. This looks absolutely fantastic. Have you ever interviewed Jonathan Nolan? No, I have not. Okay, I don't think he would get mad if I say this.

52:39Jonah Nolan is not a funny man. Like, he's not a funny guy. Right. He is arguably one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life. I mean, he is Menza level. He's a genius, really. And just in a conversation about anything, about fucking water. He's so entertaining. But I know I've been a fan since Memento, like everybody else. And I know his body of work. And he just turned on a dime, man, and photographed this world in a hyper absurd stylized way. You know, the violence. And it's like, I've never seen him do something like that. And that's what I was blown away by most when I saw the first two episodes back in October or whatever.

53:24Well, I, I, I'm a huge fan of not just, I mean, that's funny. Fallout is great. And that's what you were, you know, here to mention at the end. But I just look at all the work that you've done and you always deliver every single time. and so just a thrill to have you on to get to talk to you and if nothing else say thanks for the dead squirrel that's that's rotting in uh can i can i say can i say yeah the reason why i chose the word cozy and i knew that this was you had to pick a word when you kind of came on here because i knew that this was going to be a familial experience oh good not that we're a family but you have been so kind and generous to me over the years.

54:09Oh, I was a fan from day one. So like the first time we met and then, you know, just, uh, just, uh, delighted, delighted and also delighted for you that, I mean, we didn't even mention what's bigger than the white Lotus and that's upcoming. So you got to come back. Oh, I'm definitely, I'm definitely coming back. Do you remember the last, uh, the last thing that we said, uh, I don't know if this was the last time we were together, but it was a significant time we were together. And we were talking about how people always butcher your name, Walter Scriggins and Skloggins or whatever. And, uh, and we had a great laugh about it.

54:44And the next day I was flying off to go back to work and I stopped at the Starbucks right by LAX. And then I, the woman had my order. She brought my coffee out and I looked at the cup and I started laughing my ass off. And I sent you a photo because on the cup, that said Wilton Schneigens. Wilton Schneigens. Do you remember that? Yes, I do. I do. What a joy. All you want is your coffee. Hey, so please come back anytime. And just congratulations on your insane success. It's borderline absurd. It's all going your way and I just jinxed it. And hey, let's get together with you, me. let's get Billy Bob because I've had dinner with him and Oliphant yeah we'll get Oliphant we'll get Oliphant in there but we want to lean southern and then Oliphant and I can be the odd guys out perfect you know who are saying we have to go we're tired we have to go home and we'll just serve biscuits and country fried steak and fried chicken get out our fiddles and you'll put on your clogs ding ding ding ding ding ding all right we'll see you soon thank you so much brother thank you bye bye y 'all thank you

56:08Ladies and gentlemen, we are attempting to do a segment in a way we never or rarely ever do, and that is without a net. We don't know what we're going to talk about. That's every single time. I do think that's always. We've never known what we were going to talk about. But there's always a general idea for the segments. Oh. This time, we have no subject. We couldn't think of anything. Sona was talking about Circuit City just a second ago. We are in real dire straits. I really thought she was hitting gold when she was talking about Circuit City. We're free balling it. Let me understand something.

56:38Circuit City no longer exists? No. No, what are you? Do you think it exists? You don't think it exists. I'm in a bubble. You know what? Hey, is Radio Shack gone? No, Radio Shack is not gone. What? Yeah. Wait, I dreamt about Radio Shack the other night. So you think it's not gone because you dreamt about it? I'm just realizing it was a dream. I think it's gone. Is it? So many things from my childhood are just gone. Yeah. And it's crazy. And then if you ever accidentally mention it, people think you're just this insane, out-of-touch fool. But it was a real strong memory in my youth. Radio Shack?

57:10Radio Shack. I remember Radio Shacks were a big deal. Which one hurt? Do you remember anything closing where you're like, oh, man? I remember Howard Johnson's, when I was a little, little kid, like, you know, really young, was a big deal. And my grandfather would take us, I mean, these are my earliest memories, would take us to a Howard Johnson's. A Hojo's. A Hojo's. And then I remember when I was working at SNL in the late 80s, one of the last Hojo's was in Times Square. And I used to go there occasionally just because it was this connection to my youth. And it was when Times Square was a very different Times Square.

57:46Now it's all been Disneyfied. Oh, yeah. You know, and there were robots walking around saying, be happy. But back then, it was that other Times Square that you see in the 1970s movies. Drogs and the sex workers. Yeah, sex workers. I was a sex worker in Times Square. Oh, okay. All right. Or you were just standing there trying. That's how I got the SNL job. You were the main reason they Disney-fied it. They're like, we gotta Disney-fy this fast. Get the mouse in here. He's a bad gigolo. And so, but I would go to that, I would go to the Times Square Hojo's and get a, the thing that we would get when we were little kids was just a chocolate ice cream soda with chocolate ice cream.

58:27Oh. And sit at the counter and sort of chat up the waitress. You know what I'm saying? No, I don't get what you're, like, just have a conversation with you. Yeah, basically just say, how much is this and I'll pay you. Wait, was this a sex worker? I'm confused. No, no, this was a waitress. I was the sex worker. I see. anyway but then that I think when that went away when that Hojo's went away when that Howard Johnson's went away it was so iconic and you can see it in old movies I think you can you can see it in Sweet Smell of Success I think when that went away I remember that was a bit of a blow it was like that's over that's over it's time to embrace that big Arby's on is it Hollywood Boulevard with the big hat just closed oh they just closed that but the pizza place is taking over and keeping the hat I think if I'm not mistaken Once Upon a Time in Hollywood has a great sequence I think in the third act where Tarantino shows all the neon signs coming on in LA that would have been around in 1969 when the Tate murders happened and one of them I think is that Arby sign coming on in the Circuit City okay okay that's well I just don't know what's do they still have Froyo what as a concept of frozen yogurt oh I thought I thought Froyo was a store are you just looking for something that rhymes with hojos?

59:44No. Hey, is there still a mojo magazine? Hey, is it still, do they still have slow-mo technology? Hey, is there still, you know, people that ride the rails? Hobos. Is there still bros before hoes? Yeah. And what about that group, the Go-Go's? How about Han Solo? Is the dodo still on? Yeah. Oh, God. What about that caramel treat, the Rolo? Remember the Rolo? I love Rollo. I do, too. Rollos were good, man. They're still around. Hey, what about Chunky? Remember the chocolate candy bar Chunky? It was a brick? I love that candy. I love that candy. I can't find that candy anymore. I don't think those are around.

1:00:24I'm telling you, life used to be better. Well, I think one thing we can agree on is that we should agree to talk about something before doing a segment. Well, I'm always, and guess what? I'm always in favor of that. And you're the two hippies that are saying, No, man. You, it's your preparing. And I'm like, yeah, preparing is what you do. Whether, you know, if you're in comedy, as you think about what you're going to do, and then you guys are like, no, man, it's podcast. Just say it. For a segment, we always have an idea. For the intro, we don't need an idea because we're kind of, whenever, by the time you introduce Sona, something's already happened.

1:01:01Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I do like your Howard Johnson's. I can't believe you had like a treat. Like you would never eat that treat now. Probably not, no. Right? You would just, that's a time in your life. That's special. Yeah. Now I'd, my life has changed since I met my wife and she's very healthy. And now I would take some spinach and some pea protein and a little bit of banana. Yeah. And I'm whip it up in the blender. That's the sound of your blender. Yeah. And then I drink it and my dog looks at me and looks sad for me. Yeah. You know the way a dog, usually if you're eating something, the dog's really interested in having it.

1:01:41Man, when I eat pea protein and lettuce, shake, my dog just goes in the corner and starts making a noose. And dogs can lick their barf. Yeah. Yeah, their standards are so low. No, if I was making a dog barf in a blender, the dog would be really interested. But pea protein and whole food spinach, all organic. I'll just put a little banana in there just to be naughty.

1:02:13Hey dog, do you want some? I would rather die. You sure you can lick out the, ah, I'm okay, my girl. Roof. I'll go eat a rock instead. That's my dog. My dog. Feeling sorry for me. See, we always find it. You did. I always find it. You got there. Just him? Yeah, just me. Okay. I feel like I did a bit of an assist. Nope, you've been listening to Conan O 'Brien and Two Lodestones. Also my favorite part when he tries to figure out whether this is a segment or an issue. Nope, it's a segment. You're looking at the list of intros. You looked down. I'm not confused at all. It's actually an intro. It's a segment.

1:02:59Well, it's Conan and the Two Albatrosses. Hope you had fun. See you later. Stay in school. Be good to your waitress. Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leow. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

1:03:29Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message It too could be featured on a future episode You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan And if you haven't already please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.