HELP. I'm Trapped in a Sitcom | Creep Cast

23:12People just keep typing the word sniff as if they're like sniffing their speakers when you did that. All right. Well, your audience, you built them.

23:25I'm just some guy that you imprisoned to be here to read stories for you. I don't know why, but I thought you said impregnated at first and I was going to say, don't, don't give them that. What are you even talking about? Don't, don't give them that. You know what's actually so fucked up? No, no, no. Honestly, I shouldn't say it out loud, but I will say you would take the best paternity, whatever photos like you in an autumn forest with a big bump. You would it would look so natural. It's not even I mean, it would be unbelievable. You know, you know, you know, it makes me furious about this. I'm not even looking at the chat, but out of my peripheral, when you start saying that I can see it get faster.

24:04i see more people got something to say and i know for a fact that yeah i know for a fact too you got that fucking tan ass skin and stuff you would have that crazy at stretch marks that starts like right in the middle of your stomach and splits outwards that pregnant women get you'd have one of those and you'd proudly you'd proudly uh display for a hairy ass fucking big belly sitting there holding it both hands easy easy peasy i don't appreciate a lot of the comment people are publicly making about me and my podcast co-host my business partner some of the things that are being said in chat right now regarding me being pregnant are just obscene

24:51oh i don't okay all right all right okay i want to keep reading the story cut to coffee shop i don't remember how i got here one moment we were in my apartment and then the hallway and then The coffee cup is hot in my hand Small heart in the froth When I look up at the barista An attractive mid-twenties woman Bows her head in smiles Dazzling white Geometrically perfect teeth Like small square tiles on a bathroom floor I think Do I know her? Bill's speaking And that's when I turn to her and I say Talk about having a turkey! Laughter That's her laughter Ha ha Ha ha ha Canned laughter again. Makes me flinch.

25:36Lean in, look behind me. No one's laughing here. Where's it coming from? The woman next to Bill looks familiar. Stacy. I remember now. A college friend. Who had a thing with Bill until they broke up a few months ago. Still friends though. Stacy grins as well. I hope afterwards you made sure to flip her the bird. laughter hoots can you do the laughter effect for us

26:09that's good can you just do the laughter effect from now on yeah I flinch again I can't see a studio audience anywhere but I imagine them faces pressed against the windows behind us leering at us from bathroom stalls and from under tables I watch Stacy's hands pale, small against her cup. She takes her ride and takes two sugar cubes from a bowl in the center of the table, dropping them into the murky brown liquid. I can see how perfectly manicured her nails are, and as I've studied them closer, I notice something. There. Under the nail, blood. Ew. Blood and what seems to be dirt. I didn't know dirt did.

26:51Stacy, what's up with your nails? Were you cooking?

26:58That is kind of a funny thing to say. Were you cooking? It's like you assume it's dirt. What do you mean? Were you cooking? Oh, you were digging animals out of the ground, right? Also, too, if you see bloody nails, how the fuck are you thinking that the brown thing under nails is dirt, not poo? Am I wrong? Wouldn't you think that's just poo? Why would you think that's dirt? I'm sorry. I just see. Will you read the Windigoon impreg fan fiction? Hunter, draw Windigoon pregnant. and how you've started something in the... It's so... Okay. Am I wrong, though? I mean, I know it's vulgar and it's nasty, but if I saw perfectly manicured fingernails and I saw a little bit of blood underneath it, I wouldn't assume that the brown substance underneath it is dirt.

27:47Well, I'm sure it's not just the color brown. I'm sure it looks like smeared dirt. You can tell the difference between dirt and poop. I don't know, depending on the kind of poop. I mean, I guess it kind of overlaps, but I imagine it looks like, I think the implication is it looks like she's been digging. I know. Because she's been digging so much. Been digging at something, a little scratch and sniff is what it is. Okay. I can't stand you with some of these alliterations you use for the grossest things. Okay. Her face slips for a moment. At least that's the only way I can describe it. Like her features all shut down and reboot.

28:21She turns to me. Oh. Don't be silly. I flinch. When she says my name, it's censored, with the same beep they use to censor explicit songs. I watch her lips, but nothing. My name? What's my name? Pause. She's hiding something. Don't be silly isn't a response.

28:48No, really, Stacy, that's not a response to my question. She takes a moment. Theatrically examines her nails, runs her tongue over her glossy teeth, takes another sugar cube from the bowl, examines it, drops it into her cup. There's something strange about it. The flat, square planes of the cube disappearing into the black liquid. Stupid questions get stupid answers. There's something in her voice. Something shaking. Something broken and weeping and desperate, but it's just beneath the surface. Only appearing in tremors and ticks and... Should I try to... scratching her should i try to do her line again except more shaky uh i think what you were doing was good where it's like stereotypical like bimbo valley girl kind of valley girl but put a little put a little like twinge on it on it yeah yeah yeah if it questions gets two for the answers somewhere between the two takes i think see now the now with the live audience they get to see workshop this.

29:50We'll do this in episodes a lot where there will be a line and I just saw where's the windy tummy cam. I hate what you've done here. I hate what you've established. Stupid questions to get stupid answers. That was good. That was it. That was it right there. That's it right there. We do this a lot where we'll workshop sentences and stuff. Be like, I'll put this inflection on it. Change that. Now you all get to see it. All they care about is but can i have the hairy windy tummy okay there's something in her voice something shaking something broken and weeping and desperate but it's just beneath the surface only appearing in tremors and ticks and she starts scratching her face stacy what's going on she looks panicked for a second as if somewhere someone has said her name eyes wide she leans forward slams her forehead against the glass table in front of us once the table shakes coffee spills the table is fractured and there are small shards in her forehead she pats at the rivulets of blood with the tips of her fingers then as if tasting a salad dressing licks them clean somewhere in the distance phone rings bill's eyes go wide he looks at me cut to laundry mat what do you think i think i think it's so it depends on the nature of what this is.

31:16If this is like an alternate reality or just like some weird, like purgatory or whatever, I think it's, you know, the whole thing about like, if you're in a coma, you know, you, you hear a voice or you pick up a phone and you hear like someone from the outside. I think it's something like that. Yeah. There's this, there's this movie that kind of harks on that idea that came out during the COVID era, like 2019, 2020 era called come true. Really, really fun film, but it kind of has a similar vibe, very dreamlike kind of quality, which would kind of explain this weird surreal dream that this person is in even though too i can't tell is our protagonist are they just like totally bought in that they're in this sitcom or are they still like why the what the fuck is this because the only thing that they've said so far know what's going on they understand it's uh they they get that it's a sitcom because they're like it's can studio laughter they can imagine it so they understand the format but they don't know what's happening because he's like how did i get here why is bill does this person know me like he's still trying to figure out the logistics of it.

32:16I also really like how when she said his name, it was a bleep. Like a censorship. It's like whatever has him in here, he's trying to indoctrinate him to be a part of this. Similarly to how Stacey and Bill probably are where you see their cracks for a second, but then they go back to the formula. Losing their own identity would be fucking horrifying. Almost to the point where, yeah, there has not been, the protagonist has not said their name once. So it's kind of fun. So far, I really like the setup where it's like because he's acting completely reasonable being like what's wrong with you what are we doing uh but it's in the backdrop of a sitcom so it's so out of place or like that one where he says like uh he says like what what's wrong with your nails and there's laughter he's like that's that's not an answer quit like he's shaking it off almost to continue deliberating um so it's a fun setup like the premise a lot cut to laundromat i sit on a chair reading a magazine since when do people read magazines or go to laundromats something hurts behind my eyes presses against the cornea drapes itself over the front of my brain kathy has her hands on her hips looking at me as she talks she stuffs the wedding dress after wedding dress into the open crow mouth of the machine seems endless as if the crow mouth leads to chrome guts some great rusted interior coiled steel intestines and whistling iron lungs, and a throat that continues forever and ever.

33:39Iron lung? Iron lung reference? Well, I don't know what to say. What? If you like her, you should just ask her out the old-fashioned way. She keeps putting wedding dresses in, and with each new dress, they become progressively more and more soiled, covered in dirt and blood and yellow stains I can't identify, and they just keep coming. They keep coming. There's no end to them. Like some perverse marital magician, she just keeps pulling these wedding dresses out of a small plastic laundry box, and now they're ripped. Just a bundle of bloodstained threads, a handful of dust. I have expected her to pull a rabbit out of the open mouth of another machine, some half-dead gray thing, drowned and stomach filled with the suds and cheap detergent.

34:25I imagine her smoothing its wet matted fur, patting at the clumps of bubbles the color of an oil slake. That's sweet. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know how I got here. My head hurts. I can taste blood. I think I'm going to be sick.

34:42I think I'm going to be sick if you keep running away from your problems. She seems perfect. Made for you. I don't think I know you. I don't think I know anyone. I think my skin's too thin and it's stretched over the wrong bones and she looks at me. Something passes over her face, puts it in shadow for a moment, like the reflection of clouds moving across the surface of a lake. It's always been like this. Always. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I hit him with the applause effect again. Oh, good. I think that this is stellar. So far, I really like the thing. I think my skin's too thin and I think it's stretched over my bones.

35:32And then she's like, it's always been like this. And then it's like, it's like the studio, which is representative of the force that has some traffic there goes wild. Like it's like, they're still treating it. Like it's a part of the sitcom or it's some big, like revelatory moment or joke. It's almost with the crowd goes wild. It's almost described like at near the end of sitcom seasons where like the two characters finally kiss or something. And you hear everyone cheer and applause. it's kind of like that but it's like the stand-in is one character recognizing to another that they're trapped there that this is just how things are that's pretty cool cut to living room my head hurts spins a little I'm set on a couch and I reach down grip the edge of the cushion with both my hands and hold on tight as if at any moment it might throw me off as if it's the only connection I have to the real world.

36:25Faux leather bull. Imagine a large brass ring around the bridge of my nose. That's the thing about men, really. They want a certain version of you. And on a date, you get to choose which version that is. So you go get it, girl. Dressed to kill. That's when I see it. There, in the bathroom. A woman. Visible from the living room through an open door. Slumped against the wall. Limbs splayed. Her neck's red and the wall behind her is covered in thin arcs of blood. Elegant splatters that make a pattern behind her. Her throat's been slit. One of her hands is missing a finger. Her blood's running over the floor in the space between the white, perfectly square tiles.

37:09My stomach turns. Her eyes are so empty, so glassy and vacant. I can almost see the struggle, the brutality of her last moments, the short, nasty violence that ended her life. And that's what I said if you're gonna go wear this season's Prada then you might as well wear then Fuck fuck That's what I said if you're not gonna wear the seasons Prada you might as well wear nada

37:40There's a dead body in the bathroom That's such a good that is such a good turn of beat for the story you might as well we're not there is a dead body in the bathroom there's a dead body in the bathroom uh i've got i'm on baby duty now so if you hear the baby scream or freak out or whatnot it's just it's part of the plan so I love you oh god PDA dude keep it out of the fucking stream man yeah everyone's saying baby Tonka yeah that's a great isn't that right Tonka I love that name is the baby on stream no no no I'm not going to put her on stream but she's off she's in a bassinet over here to the side she's witness to the stream there it goes there goes the baby crying I hear the baby doing can I do an impression of your baby go ahead so talk to me as if I'm your baby hi baby is that what you say to your daughter hi sweetie hello

39:03is that is that Good. That was awful. Keep it going. Give me another one, dude. Give me another one. Just one more. I don't want to. Just one more. Hello. How are you?

39:20It's just clipping out on the microphone.

39:32I can't wait for you to get canceled over something. I've just got I've got books of info to just bring up

39:44I can't wait for I can't wait for the expose video in a year where it's like he would go on podcast in the Patreon server and he would pretend to be his co-host's newborn child and he would sit there and he would pretend to be a baby and everyone in the chat would be urging him on with sexual euphemisms and it does are stinky Yeah, yeah, one day one day I'll it'll happen okay there's a dead body in the bathroom Her skin is pallid drained and it's taken on a waxy quality a muted sheen

40:26It's just your line no rush I might have lost him It shows he's still on the discord call Maybe he had to mute his mic for something

40:42Get with it Ditty's hard work for women You think I shop all the time just to look good for me? I think someone's been murdered And their body's in the bathroom And it's covered in blood Aww Hey Hey, dating isn't easy for guys either. There are three things I need to make a date worth it. Food, beer, and more beer. You are so beautiful.

41:12I can see through the open door to the bedroom, a room lit by a dim red light, and there I can see a shadow moving, shifting. It seems to grow small and sways as if dancing. As if, I think, someone is in that room. And they're moving their body to a rhythm we cannot hear. Their skin shifting and riding up their leg like a dress and their mouth half open. Blood begins to pool around the body's legs. I can see that the incision on her throat was wild. Sloppy. From the bedroom, there's the sound of a muffled moan. I don't think we're alone. I think whoever murdered that girl is still here. And I want them to leave.

41:53I want them to leave. I want them to leave.

42:06so i've read this story is actually really well paced i like how the scenes go on and there's like a presence here and now there's like this woman lying dead over there um i really think this is awesome it's a shame the story is you know getting hindered with uh you know me being pregnant and you talking like a baby and stuff like that that is really rough and I'll legitimately I have fucked up this story I'm sorry it is actually good I'll stop well I don't think you should stop per se I just more so want to outline that it's your fault it is I think the show legitimately I agree I fucked it up I think that this show because if someone really wants to read the story directly they can go read it That's why we pointed there.

42:50I think a lot of the appeal to this show is that we are going to ruin the story sometimes, and they're going to be for absurdist reasons. So I think that that's fine. I mean, I'm just sitting here pulling concrete out of my hand. Have you showed them your update on your hand? Oh, yeah, you guys haven't seen that episode's update. It's looking better. I wrecked my dirt bike and absolutely skinned my hands open. Like this hand was just like you could see the muscle striations. There was blood everywhere. Yeah. And in a couple of the last podcast recordings, I've had these really sick dogs and bandages on them.

43:29So funny. Yeah. Yeah. I have the video. So I have the video on the security cam of the house. God, it's so good.

43:46Hunter loved it. I really liked that video. You guys are getting ready to get a lot of Isaiah Media. You haven't even seen his dentist photos yet. Wait till you see his dentist photos. Oh, my God. You'll see this this Sunday. I'm not even joking. It is unbelievable. Unreal. Yeah. I actually have that photo right here. Do we want to give him a sneak peek? You can give a sneak peek. I would love to see it again. It's unreal. First off, I just want to say this is a dentist photo. It might be one of the most sexual photos I've ever seen in my life. First off, look how tiny it is. Look how extremely tiny.

44:29God! Look at it!

44:38Looks like a donkey got Botox. It is unreal. Wow. It is criminal that they did this to you. Also, did they take this photo in a closet? Where the fuck did they take this photo? You're going to be stealing. This is your dentist. You're going to be stealing when we take these photos for research purposes.

45:02It looks like a Sabrina Carpenter album cover. One million percent. I'm a bad bitch. When I showed her this photo for the first time, he was hollering. Oh, my God. Legitimately in the episode, you'll see, you'll hear how genuine my reaction is. It is unbelievable. We'll also just zoom it out to its normal size, Isaiah. Don't. Someone said, can we put it on a t-shirt? I want it to be the thumbnail. I want it to be the thumbnail of the episode. That's a white t-shirt with that in the center of it. That's its original size. There's a lot of stuff going on with this. There's a lot of stuff going on with this.

45:45I think I lost connection for a second. I should be back now. Yeah. Okay. I think I'm back. I'm back. Is it out? We're back now. What were you saying? There's a lot of stuff going on with what? I'm sure. I don't see it. I don't see it on the live. I'll give it a sec. People are saying the lips are so powerful. It crashed the stream. There it is. There it is. Yeah. One thing about this photo, and we should get back to the story, is the, what I don't understand about you, how many teeth are in the human mouth? Is it 2028? No, it's 32, I think. Also, people are immediately making it their profile pictures.

46:23It's really funny. The other way it is.

46:31I've seen like five of them go by. I just want to say, I just want to say there are supposed to be 32 teeth and a mouth. Zoom in on this. There is like, I don't know why, but your teeth, it just doesn't feel like you have enough teeth in your mouth. It seems like they just cover far too much room. It looks, it seems like, it seems like in Isaiah's mouth, there might be 12, 12 to 16 teeth instead of the normal 32. At this site in Rens' Rage, this photo, this fucking photo is just unbelievable. It is unbelievable to give this. Wait, hold on. Send me that photo really quick. I have to do something.

47:18It's in your server. Hold on a second. I have to do something because this is actually going to blow your fucking mind. One second. It's like three messages back. Okay. I see it. I see it. I see it. Hold on a second. This is going to. you have i'm gonna send you something back and i want you to be sure and show this okay the the context for everyone is i got a new dentist lately and the new dentist was like okay we just need your records from the old dentist so the old dentist sends the records and the records quote-unquote was a word document that had every like x-ray and every dental picture i had on one page.

48:02Like they had just copy pasted all of the pictures onto one page. So all of them were like super small and the new dentist was like, yeah, we can't use these. But in the midst of all of the x-rays in the dead center of the page was just this photograph that I guess they just held the camera up to my face and took a flash shot, I guess. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Look at this. Okay. I don't see anything yet hold on a second this is very quick I'd want to do another pass but we should unironically make this a photo look at this dude okay where are you sitting this you're cracking up you're dying over this I'm sitting here I wish I took more time.

48:59I need more

49:06Just a little more time your discord there you go

49:26I'm wondering, this is exactly what it looks like outside of the photo.

49:41This is exactly what, what did you say?

49:47Oh my god. What did you say? This is exactly what? This is exactly what, because I was like, I would kill to have the rest of his face to see what your face looked like during the photo.

50:04Oh, God.

50:08Someone needs to put this on a shirt with a dog. This is just a smile dog is all it is. Hold on, let me look up a German Shepherd. Let me get something real quick. Look at this.

50:24I'm doing the Lord's work right now. Holy hell. Can we do the Lord's work? Can we do, can we, can we do first? That's just this on a white t-shirt. I don't see why not.

50:42Oh my gosh. Man, you know what, man? Dude, this is what you need to tell people too. Chat, this is what you got to tell people. You'll be like, You'll say People will be like What makes Creepypastas aren't scary You're like Oh yeah Look at Look at this And then Show And then just show them this Oh Okay Are we

51:15It's smile talk So stupid

51:29Spread the word Spread the word And then there's another one that's photo negative That's like the hidden picture they find Okay, alright Should we go back to the sitcom story now? God. Someone said this is my fursona. This is my fursona. Just a German Shepherd with super realistic huge lips. Hold on a second. I got one more. I got one more. Okay. Alright. Chat's not getting bored, so we can edit this down in the final cut. Yeah, this won't be in there. This is the, this is the, this is where it's... yeah this is the good shit here this is the good shit

52:21anytime we record with the stream chat it just becomes their show which is fine for them but like the final recording is not gonna be decipherable

52:37you gotta make this your uh you gotta make this your profile picture on twitter or on Instagram. The dumb... A bunch of people have now changed their picture to the drawing of me with the lips. Okay, this is Hunter's newest work of art.

53:03I like taking an actual image of me and then being like, no, this is what he looks like. It's my lips blown up. like a thousand times. Oh, barely. Barely blown up. Okay, alright. My lips are pretty big in that picture. I will admit. I love the idea that you're like, alright, just relax. This is what you do with your mouth. Alright, just kind of give us a little smile. I like how you titled it his lips not made by.

53:41that sounds like that sounds like the name of a creepypasta that is that is legitimately a creepypasta name his lips jpeg is such

53:54again hold on oh god is that here we go his lips jpeg is so good god damn

54:08Okay, all right. I want to go look at Twitter now. Is it up there? Just go look at my account. Let me see. It looks so good. It looks so good. That's such a good profile picture. There you go. Yeah. It's the good stuff Okay Alright, hallway Back to the story Cut to hallway Mark pushes past me Towards the door He has a coat on Sorry

54:51Hey, sorry Didn't see you there He looks out of the window It's starting to rain Where are you going? Nowhere important He shifts on his feet, looks side to side. Don't worry about it. Cut to car. I'm driving a small car, a car that I recognize is mine. The wheel is cool in my hands, and as the car banks left, someone in the passenger seat falls against me. The radio plays a soft, calm newsreader's voice. It washes over me. Slowly, I tune into the individual words. I reach to turn it up. Thank you for joining us this evening. Reports of an Arison attack are reaching us. And despite the heavy rain, a whole family was burnt to a crisp.

55:34Eyewitnesses say they could see members of the household trying to unlock the upstairs windows, but to no avail. Stacey, asleep in the passenger seat, shifts so that she's now leaning against the window. The rain licks at the glass behind her head. Windscreen wipers scrape a dull rhythm in front of me. There's a spade resting between her legs. She wakes up, her eyes pinned open. leans forward and wretches into the footwell what was that what now you cannot show this one though okay are you just sitting here doing this instead of participating in the story I'm sorry I'm sorry this is actually the last one okay

56:37can i describe it i can describe it right it's it's the

56:49It's the picture It's the picture from Nick Akato Avocado's OnlyFans of his butthole But he changed it to my lips You just say that sentence is so funny Nick Akato Avocado's butthole

57:16My teeth just spared. You might as well show them when they paid for the fucking Patriot. I might as well show them. I don't think I can. It's covered. There's nothing bad in it. Isn't that showing someone's, you know, wouldn't we hypothetically get in trouble for that? I guess it's a meme. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing actually. I'll show I'll show it here in the stream. Well, now, because you can kind of see, no, let's not. You can see some detail on the edges. The teeth aren't big enough. So we'll, we'll say no to that one. Yeah. Yeah. Probably. You can imagine. Yeah. You can imagine. Okay.

58:02All right. Can you read your line now? Yeah. Where am I? Petrol burns. You've made my daughter cry. Good job, Huff. Petrol burns even when it rains and the flesh catches like kindling. They're coming. We had a deal. They're coming for us. And oh God, when they find us, oh God. She checks the rearview mirror. It's true. I can see a long road behind us. Empty, except for a pair of headlights that are slowly gaining on us. And I, for one, can't wait. We can't run forever. Oh my God. Do you have any idea what they'll do when they catch us? Skin's only so thick. It's only so thick

58:48Skin, there's that mention of skin again about being tight The headlights are getting closer The beams illuminating the drape Can you just lock in for five minutes? You can't fucking just have your fault to be There's a thing about the skin being tied Yeah, because earlier he said that it feels like my skin's thin like he's getting stretched and there she said skin's only so thick it's only so thick. Right. So yes, I can do that. The headlights are getting closer, the beams illuminating the drops of rain like motes of dust in the sun. I can almost make out a figure behind the wheel. It looks half familiar.

59:26Slip out used like an old wedding dress stuffed in the attic. Slit wide open. Okay. Stacey starts to cry. Then as I try and fail to read what the sign we just passed reads, I hear it. A shrill, mechanical ringing. I check the rearview mirror, and there, on the back seat, is an old-fashioned black rotary phone. The receiver laid flat on top of the black casing, the strange numbered circle beneath. A dial. I believe it's called a dial. Answer it. Stacy retches again into the footwell, looks at me. Don. Cut to hotel. Don't you remember? I shake my head. I was just in the car with Stacy, and there was someone behind us and a phone.

1:00:12Phone on the back seat. Remember what? Think about it. Don't you remember? The lobby hums with a quiet energy. I realize that I've been holding my breath. It's deserted. A huge empty space, like some giant underground cavern except with carpeted floors, a ceiling that extends up seemingly forever. I can't hear anything. That dim, sterile hotel light, sickly, pale. My mouth feels dry. I feel so small. Like when you finally make it out of the city and you realize that the horizon stretches on so much further than you thought, that it continues almost into infinity, that you can watch it go. There's paper on the table in front of me, empty, like an invitation, crisscrossed with pale gray lines.

1:01:01I start walking away from the reception desk, through the lobby, and my feet don't make a sound against the floor, and it seems as if this room extends forever. No windows, same strange pattern on the carpet, circles in stars and numbers, peed in until my eyes hurt. I'm dwarfed, infinitely small as the lobby stretches out, away from me, in all directions. it's so empty and i can't help but feel if there was someone else here someone else treading the same pattern it might not be so trying hard to remember but i don't know what and i could feel my face being pulled in all sorts of strange directions and it's only then that i realize i'm crying my cheeks are hot with tears and i'm breathing in short frantic burst somewhere behind me an elevator chimes doors slide open i really i love the way this thing's written with you have these like otherwise mundane moments settings of the hotel the car stuff like that but you get these little clues in each set piece of some history behind like the receptionist telling him no you have to remember you have to remember and then like the mentions of skin and stuff like that like you get these little breadcrumbs and then here he's starting to see he's starting to see something like through this haze he's in it's almost like i said earlier he's in a coma and he's able to look out of it like the infinite hallway and the infinite lobby of the hotels he's starting to realize the illusion yeah it's like a personalized hell pretty much yeah yeah cut to nightclub bill slouches against the wall in an alley lit by red neon from behind the dirty orange of streetlights from the front.

1:02:41He's smoking. Black eye, front tooth missing. Shirt's brown with blood. I think he's waiting for someone. I need to tell you something. You need to know this. It's important. I raise an eyebrow. What? When they come, you mustn't listen. They don't know all of it. The whole story. Right? He wipes his face. That's right. They don't know the whole story. He holds out the palm of his hand and in the center is a small hole, ragged at the edges. Wet. Red. Slowly, he raises it to his face, till I can see his eye through it. It started to rain. I can see you. Then, quiet. So quiet I almost can't hear.

1:03:29A stage whisper. I wouldn't hurt myself. I can't sleep at night. I stay awake and I look at the ceiling and I dream of hurting myself. It makes me feel sick and excited. Like sex. Someone walks past and Bill flinches. A woman in a tight black t-shirt. Can't see her face but she seems familiar. I've seen her somewhere before. There's some sort of design on the back of her shirt. Screen printed in red. A pentagram. Each point of the star numbered And this star contained within a circle of its own A numbered circle When she's gone it's quiet again Bill drinks from a hip flask His hands shaking I can hear footsteps behind me They're here Okay man this is so cool So Bill like is also in the deluge He's like they don't know the whole story He's putting on a character for the show He's putting on a character for the show And then by putting up the napkin And looking at him through the hole it's like like breaking the fourth wall it's like he's hiding his face so that he can speak honestly for a moment and then when someone walks by immediately he goes away that's so fun and then like the woman goes by wearing the pentagram with the numbers on it almost like it's a spell or rituals maybe this is demonic or satanic or like pagan or whatever uh which would make sense with the alliteration to red from earlier like the red room at the end of the hall and then her like the woman being bled out perhaps some kind of ritual that's being performed Right.

1:04:58That's so cool. Cut to restaurant. I'm sitting opposite the girl from the coffee shop. She's so pretty, I think. She smiles again. Mouth full of sugar cubes. She says her name is Ida. This place is so nice. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here. I think something very, very bad is happening. You'd do anything for me. Wouldn't you? I don't know you I don't know who I am or how I got here Aww I look around the restaurant It's empty I love the sitcom audience being a part of it too Between the laughter and then like the Aww when he says he doesn't know how he got here It reminds me, you know that You know that Short film that made a lot of rounds I think it was at Cons a few years back But the one about the girl who's trapped In the Red Lobster commercial yeah yeah so and like everyone was super hyped because it wasn't out for a while it kind of reminds me of that where each time the commercial goes by she's like asking more questions and I think it's one of the other guys in the commercials like don't speak don't notice it and then there's like an entity that's controlling the whole thing it reminds me of that a lot um man this shit like the the descriptions here translate so well visually I look around the restaurant it's empty we're alone the other tables are set Cutlery, plates, napkins folded, wine glasses catching the light.

1:06:28But it's just us. I think maybe if I strain, I can hear the quiet murmur of conversation. Like the hum of a fridge in the background. It only surfaces if I really think about it. If I really concentrate. I know you. I know who you are and how you got here. I take another look around the restaurant. Praying that someone else will walk in. a waitress or waiter holding a menu or a bottle of wine but it's just us circular tables evenly spaced around us in every direction the same tablecloth on each one the same chairs stretching i realize now as far as the eye can see i cannot see where the tables end and for a moment i have a feeling like vertigo like i'm standing at the edge of something vast and dangerous a pine forest that stretches itself over the horizon a swollen sea that laps hungrily at the boat promise potential something out there moving in the spaces you cannot see it's overwhelming my head spins the pattern on the floor looks familiar i think the tables go on and on until the eye cannot distinguish between them anymore and they're just a blur pattern of their own imprinted on the edge of my vision i picture myself for a moment wandering between these tables for an eternity searching for someone anyone i don't know what could be more terrifying realization i am alone or the realization that i am not a quiet cough i turn back to ida she's holding a black rotary phone holding the base in her left hand and the receiver in her right.

1:08:20She extends her right hand towards me. So that's in front of my face. She smiles. Gritted paper. It's for you.

1:08:33Black air applause, cheer, silence, dead air static. Black air applause, sound effect. Oh, there you go. And then silence, dead air static. Wow, that was cool. I really enjoyed that one hmm what a weird way do you think by answering it do you think it seals their fate or do you think that you have to connect like I'm wondering what do you think is on the phone so what I've to me this sounds like the way the receptionist was saying you have to remember hold on what's he's like she said don't you remember remember what and she says don't you remember and then the lobby homes with energy it's sort of quiet but all the things we see around because he doesn't remember how he got here but all the things we see around it are very brutal right like the red rooms the woman bleeding it's not just like a coma dream it's like there's some entity here with them and the woman in the pentagram with the numbers on it so typically when you number a pentagram it's like the order to draw it right like where the stuff goes like a ritualistic pentagram so perhaps he did a ritual or perhaps he tried to invoke something for some reason um so it's like maybe he performed a ritual to get something and then got more than he bargained for and instead of this creature giving him what he wants or like this demon or whatever giving him what it wants it's kind of trapped him in this purgatory or this like yeah i like the idea of it being uh that we are seeing the aftermath of the repercussion of something that we don't know you know some kind of bargain i think is interesting it was good man i do think uh it was a fun one i think uh i like i like max's stuff a lot yeah this guy like over here this guy does a great job of um like taking the in the other two stories we read of taking these concepts that seem kind of basic on surface level like creepy kids and a creepy mansion or like trapped in a sitcom and doing so much with them.

1:10:43Rituals are ceremonies too like rat king and rituals all that kind of stuff, unknown kind of rituals and I like that he just drops you in the center of it and it's just like this is just what it is you know, have fun I think it's cool but ...

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1:12:48i i think uh i really like so going off that implication i think the person on the other end of the phone is either someone who is still who wasn't taken to this place like everyone else was um i also like the idea that everyone else who is in here had the same fate right like maybe that similar, you know, it actually reminds me of Hellraiser. Like in Hellraiser, they all get the box and they perform the spell to bring the Cenobites. And then they're all in that dimension with the Cenobites and can interact with each other there, even though they're from different times. So maybe like Bill's been here for a long time.

1:13:22He was some occultist or something like that. And he's like real gung ho type of guy until he speaks truthfully for a moment. He's like, I want to hurt myself. I can't sleep at night. I stay awake. I look at the ceiling. I dream of hurting myself makes me feel oh actually you know what what this could be people here who have hurt themselves like feed the pig kind of mean like feed like feed the pig yeah could be that those who take their own life end up here because you also have the woman who had the blood and dirt in her fingernails, right? Which that could just be digging, or that could have been she was doing a ritual or she did something to hurt herself.

1:14:09And you have the woman in the bathroom who's bled out with her throat cut open, right? Maybe that's what he can't remember. And then you have these people speak honestly of themselves for a second. And then what was that line she said in the car where she says, you have the person on the radio talking about a family that's burning up in a house, which felt very reminiscent of Silent Hills in the PT demo where you're walking through and you hear the guy on the radio talking about a family annihilator. Do you have any idea when they catch us? The skin's only so thick. It's only so thick. It's almost like they're running out.

1:14:44Maybe that's what was implied by the dirt and the blood underneath the fingernails, that they're deteriorating as they go through this. And they're trying to run for something. They're going to be caught. The radio wants him to answer the phone, but Stacey says it's a bad idea for him to answer the phone. And then there was, at the end of the restaurant, Ida says, this place is so nice. And Ida says, you'd do anything for me, wouldn't you? And he says, I don't know you. And then Ida says, I know you. I know who you are and how you got here. My head spins, and then at the end, she hands. Okay, so Ida, the people in the car, Bill and Stacey, didn't want him to answer the phone.

1:15:23But this Ida character and also the voice on the radio wants him to answer the phone. So they're probably the powers at hand. So there in the end, when she says, I know how you got here, and he imagines for a second, infinitely wandering through this restaurant. And then she hands him the phone and says, it's for you. I think she's probably one of the spirits that's a part of this. Or the thing that was his target originally made, maybe Ida's his dead wife. Or maybe it's something he lost on or like some love he wanted to use a sacrifice or a spell to get to. so now even though he doesn't remember her this is the object of his affection that would also make sense because she's the only one in the story described as beautiful back in the coffee shop right so it's like she's being subtly planted there for him to see and then at the end when she says it's for you perhaps this is either him facing the repercussions of what he's done or going to the afterlife because the alternative to answering the phone is the vision he saw of infinitely walking through the restaurant whatever's on the other end of the phone it can't be worse than that so yeah perhaps this is people that hurt themselves or perhaps this is people that have committed a ritual or both and now they're stuck here and now they have to play the part until they move on and I think a lot of people can't move on like Bill like Stacy and stuff like that but Ida is giving him the option to do so that is so much lore packed into like a fun format short little horror story like this I love that that's what we liked about Max's other story so too is the way that you're able to run wild kind of with ideas and thoughts just based on how he just throws you in.

1:16:57Rat King was a great, which is a story going up this weekend, guys. Rat King was an excellent example of that, where, like, there's so many theories you could come up with off of, like, a 20-minute little story. Because he does such a great job at sprinkling the world building. The dialogue was great, too. Like, the little moments of break. Yeah, when I when we weren't joking and stuff in between all this stuff, this is one that I would recommend that, like, read it without two obnoxious hosts just like giggling and shitting their pants the entire time uh i think it'd be good but i'm glad that we're reading more max's stuff yeah max pointage i'd love to see some support for so he he posted a ton of stories and then six years ago he posted like a compilation or like a uh a master post of a bunch of the stories he has to read uh and we read three so far and they've all been phenomenal um but i would like to see him come back i'd like to see this guy write more stuff.

1:17:52Oh, there's activity on the board now. Oh, this isn't, sorry, this is an r slash Max Voynich. Yeah, he has his own subreddit, not the user Max Voynich. That's right, my bad. Yeah, the user Max Voynich hasn't posted in six years, I don't believe. So I would like to see him come back because he's a great writer. But yeah, that was the story. That was pretty cool. Yeah, sick, man. Well, I think this is where we'll end our live today. Sorry we didn't schedule this. Also, too, when's this live goes uh when once this live is done it'll take a second for it to process on patreon that's why it's just not immediately live after we're done but i'm sure i'm sure we'll post this one live and just have it up for you guys to listen to or we'll just wait for it to be edited no big deal it's just a little on the whim kind of uh live stream so uh we will see you guys soon thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode we will catch you in the next one see you guys in the next one uh i had a point to make at the end of this uh can't remember what it is now so i guess it doesn't matter uh hunter is absolutely impossible to work with and one day when i finally do it he will be responsible Bye.

1:19:58Hello? Look what TJ Maxx dragged in. The Devil Wears Prada 2 is now streaming on Disney Plus and Hulu. We are digital. We are downloadable. We are streamable. The fashion event of the year is certified fresh. Pull yourself together. We have work to do. Critics say it's smart and witty and the perfect sequel. That's all. Get runway ready for The Devil Wears Prada 2 on Disney Plus and Hulu. Rated PG-13.