Tabatha

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0:36Or are you stuck in one you've outgrown? Or never wanted in the first place? Sure, you can probably list the reasons for staying, but are they actually just excuses for not leaving? Let a career coach from strawberry.me help you get unstuck. Discover the benefits of having a dedicated career coach in your corner. Go to strawberry.me slash unstuck to claim a special offer. Was there a point when you realized, I'm good at this? I know I'm good at this. This is my calling. It ain't a whole lot of money. You know, we don't do it for the income, we do it for the outcome. My name is Tabitha Trammell.

1:23I was born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. As a teenager, Tabitha took care of her eight brothers and sisters. So where were you in the lineup? I am the oldest. Oh, wow. So you had babies all around you. Yes, stair steps. All of us are a year apart, and I had to help raise them. So I was held accountable for their actions. Tabitha says that when she was 15, she started skipping class. And she also started dating someone from school. He was in a band, and I was in an orchestra. and we had snuck off campus a couple of times. And then when I was at home, I just noticed I was feeling real sick. And then I used to mark my period on a certain time of the month.

2:16I keep up with the calendar, you know. And I noticed it didn't come, I missed a month. And I was so nervous. I didn't tell nobody but my best girlfriend. compared to the day I was really skinny. And we had a lot of Goodwill clothes because we was very poor, and a lot of people used to give us, donate us clothes and stuff. So that worked to my advantage because I used to put on big shirts and stuff. And what were you thinking? Were you thinking at 15, I don't know what to do here? I don't know how to, I mean, I guess you didn't know what it was like to have little babies around, but. I was terrified because we grew up in a very religious family.

3:02We was Jehovah's Witness. And, you know, when that something of that nature of magnitude happened, you will be isolated from the church and people are not supposed to speak to you. They call it disassociated. Each month went by. I was just scared. My mother came to me one day and said one of the ladies that went to what they call the church, the Kingdom Hall, said she is gaining a lot of weight. Her face is just as full. Is she okay? That's what my mother said. She said. And then my stepdad, he told my mother, you need to take her down to Grady Hospital and have a pregnancy test for her. Oh, my God.

3:50But I was thinking about running away, killing myself. It was just, I just didn't know. It was all kind of thoughts running through my head. And you went down and had the pregnancy test. My mother took me. Got to remember, I was 15. So she took me down there, and I was like four months pregnant. Tabitha says that her mother disowned her, and Tabitha went to stay with her grandmother. She had a one-bedroom apartment, me and her shed. It was in a senior high-rise. But my uncle lived down the hallway in another unit, and they introduced me to selling marijuana. You were selling it with your uncle?

4:32I was getting it from my uncle, but I found my own people to sell it to. But he knew he was giving it to me, and I was bringing him money back for it, so you might as well say that. One day, when she was about six months pregnant, she was hanging out near a corner store. And it was a lady. She was still like a regular young girl to me. And she had been hanging around talking and laughing and playing around with the guys. And then she walked up to me, you know, sitting out drinking a Coca-Cola or whatever. And she said, do you have anything? I said, what you need? She said, some smoke. And so I made a sale to her and come to find out after she walked off.

5:17Probably if she was gone by 10 minutes and came back down there and got me. She was an undercover agent, so I made a sale to undercover.

5:27So they took me down to the Atlanta's Pretrial Detention Center. Back then, it was on Decatur Street, and they booked me in, and I had to call my grandmother. I was the youngest person in there. And you were six months pregnant? Yes. Did any of the other women say to you, you're young, you're pregnant, did anyone try to take care of you? They didn't say it like that. They said, girl, what you don't got yourself? You're a schoolgirl. That's what they said. But they didn't say it. They were saying it not in a bad way, but like you just don't, from your appearance, this ain't you. You know, and some of the older ladies told me, said, this ain't the route.

6:13You're starting off wrong, sweetheart. Tabitha was released to her grandmother within a day. A few months later, she gave birth to her daughter. After the baby was born, I had all kind of thoughts, like, I'm not ready for this. But my mother stepped up, and she was helping me. I went back home with her for a while, and I thought since I had a baby, I was grown then. Starbuck selling and smoking also. And I got re-arrested to, let's see, my baby was probably seven days old. And at that time, since it was my second offense, I stayed in them 60 old days. I was crying. I had these emotions going on.

7:06I didn't know at the time it was postpartum. I was bleeding all over myself, and I was asking for extra pads, and the guards was being rude because I kept ringing the bell. And I guess now I can see I was annoying because I kept ringing the bell because I kept messing my clothes up. And it was the older ladies that comforted me and talked to me. Tabitha says that every time pads were distributed, the other women would line up to get them, whether they needed them or not, and give them to Tabitha. I'll never forget it. My roommate was an older lady. She was probably, I'm going to say probably about 50.

7:55She had old shirts. She tore up to make extra period products for me. She said, you better get up and get ready to shower. And I always remember she gave me some paper and she said, just write down some different things. She didn't call it journaling. She said, just write down. She said, I like to write. I like to draw. She had some pretty pictures she had drawn. She said, they keep me from being upset or nervous. But when she supported me like that, I never forget when I took that shower, I came back and I rested so good. Tabitha says that when she got home, she started seeing someone she met at a house party.

8:34And when her daughter was about nine months old, she found out she was pregnant again. And I was back and forth in county jail, diversion programs, rehab programs, because of my drug use and drug selling. You know, I remember one time I was asking for something. I was asking for mopeds, and I was asking for an extra sandwich. I was just feeling real bad. I didn't have any money to order extra stuff off the store at the time. My mother was on limited income, and she sent me$20 a month. So you had to make a choice. Are you going to make the call home to try to talk to your children, or are you going to get your sanitary items?

9:18You know, that was$20 had to last me for a whole month. She remembers that one time she rang the buzzer to ask the guard for something to eat, and the guard told her, this isn't the Ritz-Carlton. She says she was threatened with solitary confinement when she complained about pain or asked to see a doctor, and that she was placed in solitary dozens of times. She says she cried all the time. At which I didn't know why I was crying. If I look at it now, if I'd have bonded with my children, I would have cried lesser if I was more into the pregnancy because I had detached mentally from the pregnancy.

10:00I really detached myself, but I cried a lot. One minute I think I'm level, and the next minute I start crying for no reason. One day, she was waiting to be picked up from Fulton County Jail to be transported to prison, and she started talking to some of the other women who were waiting with her. The older ladies, again, they always take care of the younger people, the best that they know how. They was telling me about this rehab facility that's Christ Center. I love reading the Bible because that's how I was raised. So that was in the back of my mind. She says that when she got out of prison, she wasn't doing well.

10:45She'd been in and out of jails and prisons for decades. And I thought back to that day, the lady was talking to me about this place. So I thought about it. And then I said, wow, I'm going to live like a normal person. So I called them. It was on a Thursday. At 430, I got a call back saying, hey, can you be here on Monday? I went on that Monday, and that's been going on October the 5th. For this year, it'll be 15 years. Tabitha went on to join a program that helped formerly incarcerated women find jobs. She was 50 years old. And she heard about a class to train as a doula, someone who works with pregnant women and new mothers.

11:31It's non-medical. It's a support person as a doula. It's a person that can listen to you to help you find your voice. I didn't have that when I was pregnant. So I decided, I said, oh, I think I want to do that. I wanted to help somebody else that didn't get the support like I didn't get it. And, you know, I can live a good pregnancy through somebody else by assisting them. She's been working as a doula for seven years. Most of her clients are incarcerated. I'm Phoebe Judge. This is Criminal.

12:24We'll be right back.

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13:12It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system. Impressive. Let me try. At T-Mobile, you can save up to 20 % versus the other big guys. You heard them. T-Mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible trade-in in any condition. Check them out to see how much you can save versus the other big guys at T-Mobile.com. Tabitha Trammell says that when she asks women if they know what a doula is, Most of them think it's someone who delivers babies. But it's a support person. Not to take the place of a doctor or a nurse or a husband. It's a person that's just for me to support me and to help me navigate to see if I want this treatment like this.

13:56Give me the voice to say that I want a second opinion. That's what a jewel is. It's a support person that help you be in control of your labor. It's a person that makes it possible for your care to be self-directed. You are in control. You know, a lot of times when you're in certain situations, you lose control. Other people be in control, and that's a bad feeling. And certainly when you're in jail, you have no control. No control. Do you remember the first incarcerated woman that you saw that you were going to work with? She called me from Gwinnett County Jail, and it was during COVID, and a lot, you know, you couldn't go into the jails then.

14:47And, you know, she wanted to know because she was on a special diet, and I had to give her guidance on the store list on certain things that we had to make do with what we had. I told her, I said, hey, the potato chips and stuff like that. I said, we got to work with what we got. You should eat more tuna and stuff that's healthy, like nuts and different things. And get your extra jar of peanut butter off the store, too. You know, get your pickles and stuff. That's the closest thing you're going to get to something on that store, like, as far as a vegetable. So it's all about working with what you got.

15:28I was there to support her and then have her look at it through a different lens. The fruit might not be fresh, but you still get you some prepackaged fruit, you know, like fruit cocktail, whatever. Okay, it's high in sugar. I told her, pull the syrup off. It's just different ways how I was there to navigate her, to help her deal with what she had and not be discouraged. Were you nervous, that first client that you had? I was nervous, but I was invested. because I look at it, I treated her how I wanted to be treated when I was in that dark place. Was she saying things to you that you remembered so clearly from your own experience?

16:12She said a lot of things I identified with. Her family disowned her. She didn't have no support. She used to be in her church choir. And, you know, same thing. She didn't go back to church. It was just a lot. I identified a lot with her, and I told her I went down that same road. I said, but I'm here today to tell you today you have me as a support person. I am here as a friend, and as a friend, I'm going to tell you to navigate this prison system, but navigate it with respect. We talk about making things better, work with the circumstances, and try to get the best outcomes. See, the main thing is to keep them encouraged and engaged And I told her to keep her a journal That's what keep me going today Even in dealing with the guards I say, and your hormones Don't go up there and be nasty to them Anything you want to say, put it in your journal That's what you do Put the feelings out in the journal Because right now, you need a good relationship with the guards So you can get things that you need You know, it's a give and take You're having to navigate being incarcerated at the same time as navigating trying to birth a healthy child.

17:31Absolutely. It's double the stress. It's double the stress. And I told her, being stressed, those hormones go to your baby. And I told her about, you know, they take you to the library like once a week. I said, what you do, you start giving you some literature on pregnancy and children, childbirth. and what you can do about your feet swelling. I told her, lower your sodium intake, leave those potato chips alone. Well, how do you know I'm eating potato chips? Because your feet are swelling. Some stuff I know too. It's just being that a supporter, and she felt like somebody cared, even if I was a little, I'm not going to use the word streak, but a little pushy.

18:16But it was a good push because the final thing that we both, we wanted to be a healthy child. up under the circumstances. Tabitha meets with many of her clients over the phone. She says it can be hard to get clearance for a visit. She says a lot of the women who reach out to her have heard from someone else that they should call Tabitha, that she can help them. So when you first speak with a woman that you've been connected with, what do you tell them? I let them know first I'm not here to judge. because a lot of times the first thing they'll say, well, you don't understand. Yes, I do. Been there, done that.

18:58She always tells her clients her story when she starts working with them. I reassure them you just got to stay focused. Is it going to be easy? No. To make it easy, you got to be persistent. And I get them to understand that and get them to do a lot of meditation, walk around the day room, Put your headphones on. Put your headphones on. Do some breathing exercises. Sometimes you have to leave your body and just think of a place, a comfort zone, and go to that place whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed. I have to teach them those different techniques. But the main thing is to get them not to lay in the bed all day.

19:45Keep them active and motivated. What that look like. When they give you that one hour of yard time, take advantage of it. Even if you don't feel like walking around, go sit in the sun and just that'll change the way your hormones are flowing. It'll help those happy hormones flow in you. Just being out there in the sunlight. We just got to take advantage of things that we do have and know how to work it to our advantage. The institutional beds can be uncomfortable for pregnant women, but Tabitha tells her clients that they can usually get an extra mattress if they do more work around their dorm and ask the right guards.

20:28And I tell them, be nice. If you need extra socks, which you do because your feet be cold, be nice. You can't go up there demanding anything. You know, we understand that sometimes they don't treat you right. But some things to get what we need, we just have to step back and see the full picture. The full picture is to deliver a healthy, stress-free baby. but you can't go there like a lot of them beat on that buzzer and demand it I say I was the buzzer queen that don't get you nothing but solitary confinement

21:12we'll be right back

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22:59And it's, you know, it hadn't changed since I've been there. And I had to testify to those facts. Another woman named Tiana Hill testified with Tabitha. She described the seven months she spent at the Clayton County Jail in 2019. She said that when she arrived, she informed the staff that she was pregnant. She had taken a test at home. The staff gave her a test and told her she wasn't. She says she repeatedly told them that she really was pregnant, but she didn't receive any prenatal care. A few months later, she went into early labor in her cell, but no one believed her. Finally, she was taken to the jail infirmary And given a pregnancy test, which was positive She said the staff started making jokes about her size And told her not to push She gave birth to her son in full view of anyone who passed by the infirmary She said other people in the jail, including men, were watching her Quote, like people were looking at a concert After paramedics arrived and took them to the hospital Tiana was allowed to see her son in the NICU While she was handcuffed to a wheelchair He died five days later Tiana was put in solitary confinement on suicide watch She said she still doesn't know how her son died Or where his remains are They tell you a lot of women delivering their sales and stuff because they don't respect the fact that you say that you're in labor.

24:36A person knows their body, and they ignore you. Several ladies don't have their babies in their cells and ignored. And a lot of ladies have testified, too, that they had to stand and get examined in front of men guards and stuff. It's no respect. A lot of times they've been in restraints. Shackled. Georgia has banned the use of restraints on pregnant women after the first trimester since 2019. But there have been multiple reports of women in their second and third trimesters wearing handcuffs. And there are fewer restrictions on using restraints on women after they've given birth. How much time are women given with their children after?

25:31It depends on a different institution. And usually the ladies that I have worked with, they say it's 24 hours. The first 24 hours, that's it with the baby. That must be an incredibly hard time to know you've got this ticking clock. Yes. And it was hard for me to try to get in that space also to try to comfort them. And my job, as best as I can do it, was to try to keep them comforted through that time. I try to get them to breastfeed the baby, even if they're not going to breastfeed. A lot of them say they don't want to breastfeed because the baby is going to be gone anyway, which I can understand that to a certain extent.

26:18But like I told them, instead of laying down, we know you're tired, you're going to be on bed rest when you go back to the prison. Every time that baby's feeding, get up, go to that nursery, or have them push the baby in here for that first 24 hours and feed that baby. Talk to that baby. Rub that baby's hand. Touch bonding. Put that baby on your chest. Let that baby feel your heartbeat. That baby know your heartbeat because that baby been with you nine months. Give that baby a sense of security. and it also gives you something to go back to that prison and you can recreate that scenario in your mind.

27:00See, prison is about a mind thing. You're always looking forward to the day you get out. It's all about using your imagination. So you feeling that baby heartbeat and that baby land and thinking about how that baby breath felt on you and how you just rubbed that baby, You can keep revisiting that, and it gives you a sense of comfort. I have told a lot of them that, and they have did it. And they say, yeah, we have to go back to that space. And we also try to make sure that they ask the nurse to get a picture of that baby. You know, if she got to take it on their phone and print it off as a piece of paper or whatever, I highly recommend that.

27:49So when you're in that prison during that time, you look at that picture. This is what I'm working toward. It gives you a sense of empowerment. Give them one of your shirts. Take off your shirt. Sit down with that baby. That baby will have your smell. You can get one of the baby's T-shirts. Get one of the baby's blankets with the baby smell on it. And name your baby. Take ownership. Name your baby. be present in whatever they're doing at the hospital at that time. Get up or walk around, because you can always, even if the baby's sleeping, go peek through the glass and just watch your baby. I said, because it's going to be many days, that vision is going to take you through a lot of days.

28:40Do you think that things would have been different for you if you had had someone counseling you, telling you to give a shirt or do you think it would have changed things for you? When I had my children, it was shame and guilt, so I detached. So me being able to provide that support and to encourage them, it made me feel whole as a person again because pregnancy, I see a lot of the ladies. I like to go online and look at the pregnancy pictures the ladies take with their stomachs being exposed and stuff. I think that is so cute. I couldn't have never did that. Remember, I had on those big secondhand clothes that hid that pregnancy for almost six months.