Are We Becoming Our Dads?

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0:35Hi, I'm Dave Barnes and I'm John McLaughlin and welcome to Dadville. Dadville is a podcast where we talk about life, love and the pursuit of awesome dadding. It's funny thoughts and deep talks. So please enjoy your time here in Dadville and enjoy this episode with Dave and me.

0:59john johnny hey let's talk about a quick check-in how you doing how's life um i'm great i'm a little i was a little thrown because i was halfway across the street and i saw your text came back and you were like i had the exact same moment in the shower i was like oh yeah we're doing these because you know why john people want to see us they really they want to see they want to see They want to see. I wish we were both wearing our pink shirts. I know. People that are wondering what the heck is going on right now, they're just listening to audio. John and I are recording on Riverside, which is online, which is hysterical because if I talked loud enough, John could hear me if I opened my windows.

1:38Yeah. Yeah. But we usually record here in the studio, and we're not because we want to give people a chance to see it. Yeah. And I'm wearing a pink t-shirt for, I think, the first time in my entire life. That's what we were talking about. You and I both migrated to pink sort of. Well, hey, I'm still in test mode. Okay. This is my first. I haven't even been out in public yet. Well, I like it. If it's a proof of concept, I'm in. Okay. But tell me, okay, so you're walking across. You got thrown because you thought we're going to do it in person, but we're not. Yeah, and so I was like, oh, shoot. And I was actually, I looked at my watch in the shower, and I was like, I'm going to be early again.

2:15And you made a comment recently because I was early a couple times, and you were like, I like this new early John. Which of course my first reaction was like how late had I been all the time? And then I was halfway across the street and I was like shoot, I'm not going to be early. But I logged in right at 10 a.m. You were exactly on time. I was exactly on time. To be honest, I'm doing great. School is back in sesh and I should use the whole word because I got time to say it now. It's just, and I mean this is at the end of our greatest summer ever. We had the best summer. Wow. But the girls were ready to go to school.

2:57And we're just, we all, I think, just love our rhythm, especially in the fall. And the girls are both doing soccer. They're both on the same schedule. They're the same school now. It just works. Just the rhythm works really well. I think we all do well when we are all individually pretty busy. Yeah. You know? But we're not too busy. Yeah. So it's great. We had a great morning this morning. Man, I love that you said busy but not too busy. Yeah, you don't want to be too busy. I mean, I don't want to be missing strings. That's true for people, John. I mean, you know, we're doing this fun, as you guys listen to this episode, we're doing kind of, we've really enjoyed doing these where it's like taking some subject headings and then sort of giving our thoughts about them.

3:47And one of the proposed subject headings was like a kind of hot take, like unpopular opinion. And mine was going to be that I just think everybody's too busy. I just think everybody that I know is too busy, including myself. That was going to be a hot take of mine. You feel that way? I do. Yeah, I think people are too busy. But you feel like you are too busy? I don't think I'm too busy. But I'm a weird creature in that I don't really thrive in busyness. I love being productive. I feel like I always try to make a, distinguish the difference between those two things, but I'm just not drawn. I've never been someone that likes being really busy.

4:28Yeah. I don't do well. It's like my RPMs weren't made to go that high. And so if I have a few days or a week or two where I'm like really, really, really busy, I don't, it's not some people I think sort of right. They like, you know, I wonder if in some ways it's the difference between when I was a waiter, if I got double sat it was trouble for me because I couldn't any was like give me nine tables at once and watch me shine I was not like that so maybe it's a difference in those kind of people who are kind of like we like a lot of things going on I think for me and then we'll get out of this because this is going to turn into because we agree we wouldn't do this and here I am doing it I don't know I just on a spiritual level not to be that guy I just really I think for me you You know, busyness means I don't have to be bored and it means I don't have to be still.

5:16And I just don't know that our, you know, like all of us are good at just not having to do something and just sitting and being, and sitting with the weight of humanity, being a human without something to do is I think one of the hardest things in the world to do. And in some ways is a luxury. I don't mean, I mean, this is a very, there's millions of people across the world be like, what does that look like? So I want to be conscious of when I say that, but you know, this is my life and this is where I live and this is, you know, for whatever reason, this is the reality of who, what my life looks like.

5:48So I just think I've, I've, I'm really trying to square up more with like what that means. And I look around and I'm like, man, just everybody. And I was busy. Everybody's busy. Yeah. You know, but yeah, let's get out of that time. Cause this is what you said. We weren't going to do it. And I, if I were a betting man, I would bet we're going to circle back to that, but let's get out of it for a second. If you knew some things and you do know things, how's the how's the back to school rhythm for you guys it's more of a clave so it's a okay yeah it's got a little hop in there yeah it's a three verse two could be a two but when i when i describe the rhythm like getting back in the school flow and all that and how it feels good are you like yeah same for us 100 million yeah we we yes yeah yeah yeah i mean yeah i mean getting up everybody's kind of getting ready we get out the door you know then annie and i have our days and we're doing whatever we're doing but um i do i do love the rhythms i love like you know because it kind of days to me in this season of our life feel like an accordion you know where it's like it sort of begins and it's like okay then you have all this time okay i got my day to get done what i want to and then it's like three o 'clock hits and it's like all of a sudden the accordion starts really moving back late toward the middle yeah yeah breath space oh we're leaving and then oh my gosh um and so but i like that i mean you and i talked about this and i can't say this enough and i believe this so strongly and it's such a gift to me to think this way what else would i be doing for my life i'm only speaking for dave barnes because i know people there are people who have legitimate responsibilities where they're like i really could stand to be doing this other thing instead of running all the way across nashville for two hours but for me in my life i'm like yeah there's really not I mean sometimes there's stuff I'm like I need to finish that song I need to whatever like fix something mo fill in the blank but right most of my days I'm like yeah there's really nothing else I need to be doing right now well and what you're talking about is on the either on either side of that long space in the day where you do have time but I feel like what you're describing I feel most acutely when I'm helping one of the girls with homework and there there was a season there where I maybe said this on the podcast but where I was like if you had told 25 year old me hey here's what your day your evenings are gonna let's don't get ahead of ourselves I know but he would be like I don't like that I don't want to do it but I'm like because every evening was like the girls get home from school we have dinner and then we basically do homework until we go to bed.

8:23Yeah. And I was like, I kind of love it. Yeah. I am totally fine with it. Yeah. Because, but, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, it's maybe an argument for like, why worry about a season that you're not in yet? Because you don't know how you're going to feel about that season until you're there. Well, you know what I think is so beautiful about what you're saying? Because I really do mean that. I'm not saying that as sort of a, you know, whatever throwaway word or whatever. is that I think what it communicates to me is that your expectation for life is to be doing those things.

8:56You know what I mean? Like you are looking at life going, this is kind of a gift of this season. Do I love sitting down and figure out how the Pythagorean theorem works again and having to chat GBT it? Maybe not, but to sit with your child and be together and help them learn, like that's where we are. Yeah, it sounds so cheesy, but I know people know what I'm talking about. It's like, yeah, I maybe don't, maybe my least favorite thing is trying to figure out the freaking new way that we're doing math. I don't want to do that. But do I want to look at the way my daughter's, like, does this thing with her tongue while she writes?

9:38It sounds cheesy. No, it's not. But I'm like, that's what, I could do that all day long. Yeah. Just looking at the way that she. It sort of infers that your life is becoming less and less about you. Because I think if I really sat down and said, John, what are the other things you could do? Just what else could you do? You could say, I could go for a run. There's tons of other stuff I could do. You could go play tennis. You could go back and practice a piece or a new song. There's things you could do that would be fun. You'd really enjoy. You would enjoy. But I think hopefully, as we're all getting more mature, life is less about us and i think what's beautiful by what you're saying is that you've sort of naturally and hopefully we're all doing this we're like that's now the great stuff that's the stuff that more than like the selfish and you know they're not i don't mean to cast those in a bad light i mean a marathon ultimately is selfish i do believe but you know it's like it's like you know well it's just in this in this phase in life i am more aware than ever the respective clocks that are attached to everything.

10:47Yeah. And like me mowing the lawn has no clock. There's no clock ticking. I mean, the clock runs out when I die or when I lose mobility or whatever. The clock is freaking ticking on me helping my daughters with homework or just my daughters being there. Yeah. And I'm so aware of that clock. I love that. I really, really love that. that's a great way to put that okay john let's can we just jump in jump in can we everybody at this point is like would you just get we're so excited to hear these things guys stop catching up okay so here's what we're gonna do we've got a few subjects we're just gonna gotta kind of go through we had some time to think which is can i be really honest john it's pretty rare for dadville that we like yeah that we really sat and did like we sat and thought so so some that these are kind all over the place but i think they're they're fun to think about okay so the first thing we're going to talk about are we becoming our dads and if so how which i really loved this idea like are we just it makes you wonder like is i mean the answer is always yes for everyone right yeah yeah okay so john talk to me are you becoming your dad like yes 100 tell me how Oh, the ways.

12:03The ways. And let me start off by saying you could do a lot worse than daily becoming Mike McLaughlin. Let me tell you that. Listen, double M. If I, by the time I am Mike McLaughlin's age right now, if my days look like Mike McLaughlin, I'll be on the right track. Yep. Yep. I just love the guy. but there there are there are so many like little ways in which i see and it's not just my dad it's his dad my my granddad who like i can we're i just see the similarities in the three of us and i love all of them what was his name by the way your granddad keith okay keith okay yeah that's good like white guy names solid white guy names that's we're kind of known for indiana midwest We're kind of known for just solid white guy names.

12:54Okay. And I kind of, I jotted these down just stream of consciousness. I'm like, okay, so the first one that hit me, Mike McLaughlin and John McLaughlin, both, we drive like grandmas. Really? And for me, I don't know when this started. It was not always the case, but you know, I don't know. In the last, maybe since we had kids, I don't know. Definitely in the last few years, I am like, I thought about it this morning. I think it was before we started this exchange, but like the girls get in the car, I've got my coffee, Amy hops in and I start driving and I, and I'm like the way that I just started driving so slowly with my coffee in my hand, I'm like, I am Mike McLaughlin.

13:38That was my childhood in the backseat, seeing him just kind of slow. No, no one's in a hurry. you know do you think he does the teeth click thing with driveways i've never asked him i should ask him i'm gonna call him today and ask him he's probably gonna be like what you and i in some ways are kind of the opposite of each other in that everything with me is so fast i can't and i envy that part of you so much that you are so like rested and calm and you move at this really healthy pace well i'm like in the car i mean mango man mangana shout out to mango who we both love who played bass for me forever now he's in the zach brown band and has been for a long time playing bass but mango would like kind of admonish me when we get in the car in the morning like the van or something he'd be like hey just slow down just like let the car warm up you know the minute i put the keys in it would crank and we're literally moving and he'd be like just slow down this episode is sponsored by a better help dave if you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing tell me what that one thing would be gosh there's so many it's kind of hard to know which one to choose do you feel that way yeah well you know i'm i'm already pretty great at creating latte art obvi so i know it's not that you know you are spotted all the time for that yeah you are the world's if you're asking me you're the world's best i was without asking.

15:04But, you know, I'd say I'd love to be better at not losing things. I'm always misplacing something or leaving it behind. It would save me a ton of stress if I was better about that. John, better is a feeling defined by you. And for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. Even at leaving things behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash dadville. That's betterhelp.com slash dadville. I know you and you genuinely want your faith to be evident in the way you live, right?

15:48Me too. We want to be the kind of people who actually live like Jesus, but life gets busy and sometimes serving people can feel like something we do at church or on a mission trip instead of something woven into our everyday lives. That's why I love what Orchard is doing with their free app, Seeds. It helps you turn those good intentions into real everyday actions without adding another thing to your already full schedule. Seeds helps you notice the opportunities already around you. Maybe it's checking on a neighbor, encouraging a coworker, texting a friend who's struggling or buying coffee for the person behind you.

16:22Small moments, real people, everyday faith. The app helps you discover ideas, track how you're serving, and build habits around loving your neighbor. If you want your faith to show up more in your everyday life, and don't we all, this is a great place to begin. Download the free Seeds app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow. You'll find the link in today's show notes. Dave. John. Oh, sorry. Dave, I didn't whisper. Oh, sorry. I always start with a whisper. I never want to scare you. No, no, it's fine. The whisper actually is more scary, and I don't know how many times I have to tell you that.

17:01You're right. You're right. I'm so sorry. Listen, one thing I was just thinking about is I was trying to steal some of your backyard stuff. We make improving sleep too complicated. Oh, my gosh. It's really all about, say it with me. It's really all about the sheets. The sheets. Exactly. That's why, Dave, we upgraded to Bull and Brand. That's right. Instantly noticed a difference. Yes. The sheets were a hit from night one. Night one. Now, what sounds like is happening is I'm agreeing with you. We don't share sheets, John. While we share so much. But if we did, you would love these sheets. You would love them.

17:33Your organic cotton sheets are just the beginning. Yep. Okay. They also make pillows, blankets, comforters, all designed to be super soft, breathable and work together. And listen, the sheet, they get even softer over time. It's like me, John. Upgrade your sleep with bowl and branch. Get 15 % off your first order, plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com slash dadville with code dadville. I'm going to say it again. I can't believe you only said it once. That's bowlandbranch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash dadville. Code dadville to unlock 15 % off. Exclusions apply. You drive like you're in a conversation.

18:13That's exactly how I drive. Which was my second point. We talk slowly. Mike does. Whenever, like when I was a kid living at home and he would call the house phone before caller ID and stuff like that, and I'd pick up and I'd say, McLaughlin's. And I could tell it was my dad with that pause. There was like a one second pause. And I was like, it's my dad. And he was like, hey, John. That's so great. I love that. And I do the same thing and I can't speed it up. Yeah. Yes. I physically can't do it. Yeah. And that was, I mean, we've talked about this a lot. When we started this podcast, I had to figure out, how can I jump in this conversation?

18:57Because I can't. Dave is like a freaking bow and arrow, and I'm like a tortoise who just woke up from the winter. There's so many things. I mean, literally the way that we stand, we do this. For people who are watching, they can see this. It's like my dad and I do this same thing where we'll stand up and we kind of touch our forearm like this, like this kind of thing. Just like the mannerisms are so, they're exact. It's not even I'm doing my version of it. It's like it's the same thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah. A slightly kind of deeper, trippier one was when we were, Amy and I were living out in California and my parents came and visited us for the first time out there and they stayed with us for a couple nights and it was one of those moments where like Amy and I were I was still in my 20s we were both in our 20s I think and and you know it's like one of those things where like you you can't see your home or whatever wherever you're from until you leave and then come back and then you see it with kind of like a fresh perspective or whatever but my parents came out and visited and amy and i both when they left we were like oh my gosh she was like the way that you are affectionate with me is exactly the way your dad is affectionate with your mom holy cow and it was this crazy one what was so weird about it is that i'm like but all these feelings are i i'm i am organically doing this.

20:36But it's this weird kind of like, well, yeah, but also you're doing, you're just, you're doing what you were, you're like, you inherited these traits. But I'm like, but these are my traits. This is how I feel. Yeah. Yep. It was such a mind trip kind of thing. So, and I could go on and on and on and on, but your turn, you go. How are you like Michael Laughlin? Yeah, so people don't know this about him, but he's a really, really great guitar player. No, I couldn't think of anything. Yeah. I wonder where you're going to go with that. He's like the opposite. Okay, quick things about Jim Barnes. Shout out to JHB.

21:12All of these make me laugh. I'm going to laugh. We stockpile what we like. So if we find something that we like, we buy 10 of them. That's just smart. And it can literally go across. That's not like a clothing thing. dad's not so much like that with clothing like i don't really know if i know a man cars houses women women yes kids which is weird um but he will you know it's become something that me and my parents laugh sort of because if you go in their garage if they have something they have five of it and i get that i mean for me the way the way i justify it is i just don't ever want to run out of anything so and there's no greater joy i get than if we have a light that goes out i have another that like a hundred percent i think that's correct i think i think everyone should do that but but where it gets really sort of interesting it's sort of interesting and like a little hoarder-ish is when it gets into like um i'm trying to think of good examples i don't even know that i can think of something but just these really weird things you're like why do you have like in the corner of the fridge like what are those little you know it's it's that little where it gets into the things you're like when are you ever going to use this that genre of thing yeah yeah you're like you know but i do have that i have a very like and i think i've talked to enough dads clothing wise that'll say like they find that you know buck mason shirt and they're like so it's not that it's a much more nuanced version of like you know whatever the sort of thing around the house or yeah so so that's one i'm really into my yard and my dad is really into his yard that was like and you know that's probably a more uh caught and taught than just caught or taught you know like when whenever dad will come over be like y 'all looks good i'm like well that okay and this is what real just pure joy feels like that's the highest praise that he could give you approval of a father does he still pat you on the head when he says it yeah he says it on my i'll sit on his lap and i'll tell him but but you know it's it's so far past that though because obviously i just love i love you know yard and taking care of you know my yard and all that stuff but so it's not just for dad but when he will comment on and i was over there this week hanging out with him for a minute with my ben and i just well i was like dad y 'all looks great and he's like oh thanks and i was totally engaged he's like i've done a little and i'm doing it and i was like it's your baseball it's thank you it is yeah that's right that's right i have noticed again all these make me laugh as i get older my dad he's not a hypochondriac that is he's not that at all but he does feel like if anything is wrong there's probably medicine for it and i've gotten that a hundred percent and being married to a pharmacist is so funny because annie if you want to see her roll her eyes about as hard as you can it's when i'm like yeah a little cough but what should i take if i've got she's like nothing just like it's just water a couple days will go away it's just a cough or a nap i know i can feel it yeah but it's like dad is very much like that he's kind of got a medicine for everything in the house in the event that he has like you know his eyes to get a little new drops you know it's like yeah yeah was he always like that or is this a i don't know a recent thing dad has always had really bad allergies so we always had like allergy meds like he's always getting allergy shots and stuff but that's like obviously a really legit thing but that's what i'm like the medicine cabinet that was a lot of it and then the final thing i'll say and this is i'm cheating because this is kind of my mom i you know like i travel now with a bag of things i need and if you go anywhere with jane barnes it's like she you know she when she sort of a lights upon a place there's a it's gonna be a lot of like okay and then I have that for this gets all their stuff out yeah and that's I've kind of turned into that where yeah any again just laughs so hard at me but I can't I don't travel lightly I've gotten to where it's like it's really turned into a thing of like who you know here we go now let me make sure my doc kits got all these things and that extra little thing because it could and if we don't have a charger I have a couple of extra chargers that could be it's a lot it's like really it's a lot okay those all sound like pretty healthy things i think so i mean you know swerving to hit cats is something that dad i don't do that as a quirk of his it is yeah okay what about stuff nobody told you about our 40s how do you feel about that you know i do feel like when i was thinking about this and i was like i kind of feel like all the stuff that i feel in my 40s it's all stuff that people did tell me it's just all the stuff that everybody warned you it's a little frustrating because it's your experience and so much of parenting i think it is what i'm about to describe it's like you so intensely and acutely feel whatever the moment you're in or the season that you're in with your kid and then when you say it out loud you hear how cliche it is and how and i mean like maybe the worst the bad version of this is so cliche the good version is how universal it is but you know like all of that like everyone's like it goes by so fast you know and that that term is so ubiquitous it almost like has lost any of the bite until you're in it and then you're like no no it man it really does what so i'm i'm grateful for that because i'm like daily almost like hourly i'm so aware of that that i'm like i'm gonna be blindsided by something but it's not gonna be that yeah it's i'm not gonna one day be sitting in a quiet empty house being like wait what happened where'd it go you know yeah i feel that and and yeah all the things like the you know your body breaking down i mean again it's it's It's not so much that it was like, no one told me, but my knee hurts all the time.

27:04It's like, no, no, no. This is just the stuff that was the cliche joke, and now I'm inside the joke. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know what's funny? I kind of feel the opposite, but that's very true to my personality type in that I just don't tend to think about things until they're happening sometimes. And so I think like... I mean, some of them for me are heavy. I think how hard it is. like my face it is kind of kicked my rear i feel like uh you know and i look back you know assuming i lived to 80 i really think that i don't know what the future's gonna be like but i have a strong feeling it's gonna be like man that was a tough decade kind of because of what you said i think you know body stuff not working like you used to as you're grabbing your shoulder blades i think and you know you you and i have seen this and i told somebody this last night kind to encourage him and i'd say this in a spirit of encouragement so i don't want it to come off as you know complaining which it is a little bit of that but more just if you're listening going like right like yeah i feel that that's really why i say this to say you're not alone in this and you and i've talked about this john but i feel like we we've had enough guests on that have sort of alluded their older men that have alluded to like those 10 years and i mean there's stats for this in fact you and i laughed last year because i'm 48 now but i saw some stat on instagram was like 47 is the hardest year of a man's life just because it's the nexus it's like the venn diagram of everything that's kind of happening all at once i mean different hard things happen all the time but there's something about late phase with money it's never more expensive for the ages your kids are yeah you know like you're starting to kind of encounter parental like usually they're getting a little less healthy and you're having to kind of take care of them just death is starting to happen sadly more whatever context divorces and friends going whatever those things are happening they tend to really and they're happening all the time but something about that age seems to feel like the you know kind of accumulation of all those things at once as opposed to like you know whatever so so i think i think that has been surprising to me you know it's just kind of like all that um i wrote how young and old i feel which is really weird you know it's like i feel really young just in general like I still really do feel young I look at myself as like a young man thankfully my body thank the Lord is still working real well and there's not all these infirmities but I also feel really old because I get around younger people and I'm like oh my gosh I can't do those things anymore yeah you know so I feel both of those things I think being you know being 48 how close I am to 50 really I feel that really acutely not not in my body it's like well 50 is very different than 40.

29:48It is very very different than 40. I do feel like lately I have kind of been mentally in a turn. Like 40 wasn't the turn for me. I feel like 43 has been the turn where it just feels like I'm cresting the like I was in this area where I'm like yeah I'm at one end of that box that you check when you say how old you are. but also there's a 29 year old there and now it's like no we're in we're in the other area now you're the young one in that in that square yeah like some of my friends get aarp magazines you know yeah like i'll be going to the movies for so much cheaper in the next couple of years so you know i think when i think about 40s uh it's just a weird decade i think i think potentially it may be the weirdest decade i haven't lived the other ones but i just i would guess that you know you still got kids that are probably could be young or old you know yeah you've done your job now or you've been working in the professional world for 20-ish years probably more you know it's just like you know so you're not but you're also still really young like you are right yeah god willing the creek don't rise you know you've probably got a good bit of life ahead of you um it's just a weird age i just feel like i love it but it's weird you here's the next subject.

31:07You sort of made reference to this earlier, and I really want to hear you say this. I love this question. Would 25-year-old like me? Would my 25-year-old self like Dave? Would 25-year-old John like 43-year-old John? Yeah. My initial reaction to this question is, I think he would. I worry that my 43-year-old self might just be annoyed with the 25-year-old self. that's not even a think about me you knew me at that age that is a great way to think about that I didn't even think about that yeah I mean and yeah maybe that's a pretty universal thing well hold on but what about 25 year old John would bother you I'm so fascinated by this I think I would just be like brother stop just you okay that surprises me you would tell your 25 year old self to relax yes wow that is surprising i did not see that coming and and i wonder would every 43 year old self tell every 25 year old self of theirs to just relax yeah and and i think probably my 63 year old self probably when we have this conversation they'll probably be like hey brother maybe with with less annoyance and more just compassion yeah just feel like but but just relax it's This version is annoyed.

32:32No, no, no. This version is just annoyed. The 40s to 20s is annoyed. Not 60s to 40s. They would be a little more like, dude, you've been through some things. Yeah. Just keep, like, you got it. Just like, it's okay. The things that, which, of course, I'm biased because I am my 43-year-old self right now, but I think the 43-year-old self, the list of things that I am worried about now have more validity. They're more real things. Well said. Yeah, that's right. The 25-year-old self was worried about ticket sales. Yeah. and record sales and, you know, am I, is this the right team at my label that, you know, and like, I think it was just exhausting.

33:13I was exhausted. I wasn't able to really be present for a ton of moments, you know. So I think that. I think that my 25-year-old self, and I think about this pretty frequently I have these flashes where this happened just the other day where Amy and I and the girls are in the car and we're pulling into our neighborhood and we're having this great conversation and we're laughing and we pull up to the house and it's like a beautiful day and I think about this all the time and I'm like if younger me 25 year old me in this case could just see a three-second little snapshot of this moment, I think he would be like amazing.

34:02I think he maybe would relax and be like, this is how it turns out? Amazing. And then the trick in that moment is, okay, 43-year-old self, don't rob 25-year-old self in that moment of all the joy. Because what 43-year-old self could do is be like, yeah yeah but but what's just out of frame the check engine lights on what's just out of frame is that the the gate on the fence is broken again that is so the house this house yeah we love it it's not paid off yeah we're still trying to pay this house off you know like what's just out of friend and it's like what do you do with the stuff that it in that moment for me it's it's actually really helpful because a lot of times i'm focused on the stuff that's just out of frame it's like dude shot stop yeah the director quote-unquote big d director's like hey that's not even in the shot it's not even in the shot and also there's always there's always stuff just out of frame there's all it's impossible you know that the grass is always greener whatever there's everyone has stuff that's just out of frame that you're not seeing god that's so good geez man that should be like you should ted talk that that's my ted talk but that is the whole ted talk yeah that well that's i don't have 14 more minutes no no you could do a minute of that and i think it might be just sit in silence like staring at the back of their seats after you walked off and then that could be the rest of the ted talk john dave john i've always figured you're not ticklish anymore you know what's funny about starting a business you can have a great idea and still have no clue what you're doing once it's time to actually start selling something.

35:48Oh my gosh. Starting a business is like tickling. I always say that, you know, just starting at a blank screen or staring at it. Yeah. Starting and you're like, yeah, you're like now what? I know. But guess what comes in there? Tell me Shopify. They'll give you what you need to get your storefront up and running without having to figure out every little thing yourself. Yeah, exactly. Shopify's design templates and AI site builder makes it really easy to create professional storefront. Yeah. No need to code. No. I've told you that a million times. No, no. You can get the basics set up and start selling in just a few simple steps.

36:23Yeah. But once your store is live, you still have to actually run the business. That's the thing about businesses. Right. And that's where Sidekick is really helpful. It's Shopify's AI assistant that can help you all along the way. Yeah. Because when you're running a business, there's always something you don't know yet. That's a good tagline. Then comes the best part. Someone actually buys something. Hit them with that sound. Sound never gets old. Shopify makes checkouts so easy with ShopPay so customers can get through the buying process quickly and easily. If you're ready to hear that cha-ching of your first sale today, head over to Shopify.com slash Dadville to start your free trial today.

37:02That's Shopify.com slash Dadville.

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37:49Great gift. Hint, Dave. Because they cut out the middleman. Quince prices everything 50 to 80 % less than similar brands. So you're getting pieces that look great without paying a huge market. Are they making money? We don't know. I don't know how you make money. like that. That's not what they're in it for. No. They want you comfortable with that Mongolian cashmere, John. Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash dadville. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. They just pulled over again because they're like, that can't be.

38:24That's almost every day of the year, John. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash dadville. I know you and you genuinely want your faith to be evident in the way you live, right? Me too. We want to be the kind of people who actually live like Jesus. But life gets busy and sometimes serving people can feel like something we do at church or on a mission trip instead of something woven into our everyday lives. That's why I love what Orchard is doing with their free app, Seeds. It helps you turn those good intentions into real everyday actions without adding another thing to your already full schedule.

39:03Seeds helps you notice the opportunities already around you. Maybe it's checking on a neighbor, encouraging a coworker, texting a friend who's struggling, or buying coffee for the person behind you. Small moments, real people, everyday faith. The app helps you discover ideas, track how you're serving, and build habits around loving your neighbor. If you want your faith to show up more in your everyday life, and don't we all, this is a great place to begin. Download the free seeds app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow. You'll find the link in today's show notes.

39:39God, that's good. That's really good. I think my 25-year-old self would be revved. He would be like, are you kidding me? Like, my gosh, look at your life. Did we pull it off? Yeah, we did it. There would be so much high-fiving, and he'd be really, really stoked. I think he'd be like, you know. I mean, one of the quirks of me in that season was I just didn't, and this can sound like false humility, but I think as I was so new to doing music, and it was such a new dream to me, I really didn't have any sense of, I didn't have that dog in me. I wasn't like, okay, and by that time, we're going to do this, and we got to do that.