Dave and Jon: Rock Star Dreams & Home Improvement Nightmares

0:06Jon McLaughlin:This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hi, I'm Dave Barnes. And I'm John McLaughlin. And welcome to Dadville. Dadville is a podcast where we talk about life, love, and the pursuit of awesome dadding.

0:46Jon McLaughlin:It's funny thoughts and deep talks. So please, enjoy your time here in Dadville and enjoy this episode with... Dave and me.

0:57John

0:59Jon McLaughlin:Oh Okay John Here we go Dave it feels like It's been a long time Since we've done this I know I know Has it been? No I don't know why it feels that way It feels like we haven't done A Dave and John episode In a classic D &J Yeah Yeah It's been a minute And people Have you been able I can't make it down I can't leave the house People I can't leave the house Where's the Dave and John episodes? Yeah That's just my kids you know John I wanted to I feel like I'm going to be a little selfish at the beginning here because you know so the regular track I was going to say so basically people are used to this arc of the story that I tell so you know I posted this this thing about Paul McCartney yeah and boy just everybody loved it and that meant a lot to me exploded but I just wanted to give a little context for it and people that missed it because i know can i ask first please do what he was in the beatles he's great okay songwriter okay guy i didn't know if it was third eye blind no no he no beatles yes gotcha uh other question e-a-t um when when you say people really loved it what is that is that comments is that like what what's the metric where you feel like oh people really like and he liked it and he yeah and that for me is the metric yeah oh so you posted on that one on your account where it's just annie's your only i just told her the story and she responded and that for me is like as a like she acknowledged she acknowledged me um no i was just surprised at how many people were like i think i think i'm always a little i think i feel like this is something you and i share i'm always a little tenuous on posting anything that feels a little too behind the veil because i think it's sort of you know one is just a little like you know you don't want to you know we have these lives we live and it's not like you and i are you know um what i'm trying to say yeah you know what i mean you just kind of like it's always for anybody on social media you just want to be careful about like how much but i think with what we do i would say it's especially tricky because i think there's a level you can hit where people are like oh no no i don't like two personal things just keep it like music and fun and piano and whatever and we're good but like you know we're not really here for any of the like super personal content which i absolutely get um and understand if that is people's so i think with this it sort of was that tricky thing where it's it gets over into my because you know it's a little bit of a personal uh thing i'm trying to do here it's not yeah sure it's music and it's my music but well and it's a it's a long shot it's a it's the longest of long shots yeah I mean, other than me trying to get Jimi Hendrix to listen to it, it's just short of that.

3:48Just short of that. Just short of that.

3:50Jon McLaughlin:I mean, to whatever degree, we don't know. I'm guessing we'll hear more about that in a second. So, you know, I made Feather Brain Wealth Motel. It came out in October of 23. Great album. Thank you. But other than my friends, my family, and me enjoying it, second in my wishes for that album was that Paul McCartney would hear it. Because obviously, anybody that doesn't know, I only listened to Beatles for a year when I was writing and producing that record. And I wanted that to just solely inform the songs that came out of it. So more than any other record I've ever made, even Carry On San Vicente was kind of Eagles inspired.

4:36I mean, this one was like very much like this is what happens when my brain's on, you know, like when my brain's, what's that drug? When you're, what was the egg thing? The drug. This is your brain on drugs. This was my brain on Beatles, basically. And so, you know, it just, I was like, I just think that'd be a cool thing. And so the reasoning, which I'll talk about for a second, 30, 40 minutes, is, you know, I think it's one thing to be like, oh, I listen to all these bands and I made this record. Because that's cool. But I think when you're like, no, I really did purposefully only listen to this music because I wanted to see what would come out of me when I listened to that.

5:13You know, it feels like me as just a normal human person that somebody would be like, oh, I inspired that. I'd kind of like to hear that. And not a, I generally am inspired by your music. But like, no, I like just listen to your music. That's all I did. And I think, too, that I've been doing this for 25 whatever years. It's not, you know, like I'm not a hobbyist. This is what I do for a living. So it's, those things to me made a concoction that I thought, well, it's a pretty compelling pitch, right? Like, to even him, the greatest of all rock stars alive, like, still maybe there's a chance. So that was kind of the impetus was, one, just the unbelievable thought that he would ever hear it.

5:51But two, thinking, maybe he wants to hear it, you know? Now, is there a rock star that has inspired more music than him? No. So, I mean, he could also say, oh, sweet Dave. Yeah, this is my 35th today. Today. Somebody was like, but again, and again, I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but what niches that a little more for me is like, yeah, but did they only, for a year of their life, year and a half of their life, only listen to Paul McCartney and the Beatles music?

6:17Jon McLaughlin:And you have to somehow relay that, like get that message across. I'm so glad. It's not just that you're inspired. Yeah. You went - This is it. You went as hard, I mean, barring that you took on a liver - pool accent for a year and dressed up like, which maybe you did behind closed doors. I don't know. I did. I did a little bit. You went in as deep as you can go. Yeah, as much as I mean. You're listening to them. You're writing these songs. You're reading books. You're analyzing. Learning their songs. Learning their songs. Listening to podcasts, interviews with them, both like John Before He Died.

6:55Jon McLaughlin:You're just shy of restraining order. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, when we actually went, it was funny, when we went that December of 22 to London, we went to his house because he still lives right by Abbey Road. And I really thought, like, this could take a turn on me if I'm not careful. Yeah. Because I thought about, like, throwing a CD over his fence or something. Yeah. You know, where I had the songs at that point. Because, you know, there's all kind of cameras up. Like, it's well known where he lives. So, you know, people are always kind of walking by and whatever. But he has cameras, and I'm sure people are, Paul, I just want to say hello, you know, whatever.

7:32So to your point, it was very short of that, just short of that. But anyway, so for basically about three months after it came out, I had a couple of friends that were really trying to help me get it done. And it was so kind of these people to be like, hey, I kind of have a guy that knows a guy. So round one of me trying this, which was right when it came out, was a couple of friends who had like real access to him that like are in his world and kind of know him. Both of those just kind of fell through like for whatever reasons. And so kind of round one of this dream sort of died that way. About, I don't know, a few months after that, I sort of did round, I enacted round two, which was, you know, I kind of know some people that are managed by his management.

8:20So it kind of went up that way, got into his management, emailed a couple of his managers because you know it's a huge team and they were basically like hey you know i can try and i sent and i think i should clarify the first ones i sent where i sent the records like the physical record so yeah i wrote handwritten notes you know sent it to those people first yeah didn't work well then with the second round with the management it's like spotify links you know i mean so it's a little more like for the email kind of thing and to your point a little less formal of like hey even though i have this you know i've written out this long email that It was kind of like, you know.

8:54And so they were basically like, hey, we'll do what we can.

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10:32Dadville is sponsored by BetterHelp. John, sometimes when we need guidance and support, we turn to some funny places, but not everyone is a therapist. so you can find your right match with BetterHelp. BetterHelp, yeah.

10:43Jon McLaughlin:You know, I may need that because the other day I was pouring my heart out to a total stranger, you know, telling him about the issues that I've been struggling with for years. And I felt like we were connecting, you know, and that he was about to offer some amazing nugget of insight, but then, you know, just flushed his urinal and walked away. Oh, man, the times I've done that. That's tough, John. You may have better luck getting guidance from a credentialed therapist. not a TT buddy online with BetterHelp they will help you find the one that's a great idea Dave because BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals it's a completely online service and you can switch therapists anytime with no cost with over 30 ,000 therapists BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over 5 million people globally.

11:41Jon McLaughlin:As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10 % off at their first month at BetterHelp.com. That's BetterHelp.com. slash dadbill. And sometimes they have contracts where they're actually not allowed to do that. They can't listen to music, that's right. No, no, no. Like there was an artist that years ago, I mean, it's not worth going into the story, but this particular artist, the team around him, they have all signed something that's like, you can't be like, hey my buddy's got a podcast oh my gosh is there any way you would heard of that yeah because they would be getting it just possibly all the time amazing so sometimes they they actually can't yeah they legally yeah so round two kind of went management kind of went like booking agents and stuff and that fell flat too and so what did change was me having to stop and sort of take a beat but what didn't change was the fact that i was like oh no no this will as long as paul mccartney is alive i'm going to try to get this record to him yeah it was just like okay we're going to let this rest for a minute can i ask real quick i'm just curious if you somehow like you had three minutes yeah what which track are you going with i think i love that question i think i would play him the girl with the weight of the world on his shoulders because to me that's probably the most it encapsulates everything i kind of took from them in one track um probably that one um that's a great question um so you know the whole that a year goes by or something um i meet a friend through some other friends who is i'm not giving any names of john so don't press okay he's he lives in london he's kind of a big deal over there david beckham i love that was your first thought gosh david if you're listening i'd love to be friends with you even though i don't like man united um anyway you know this guy's kind of a big deal in england and so um just the nicest guy ever met friends of some friends here and so he's at a dinner they know i'd like to meet this guy they call me say hey come sit and meet this guy and i was like oh my gosh it's great you know the nicest guy it was just like he's such a unbelievably gregarious kind guy um so as we're talking because it's just a few of us at the table and he and i are just kind of he's super curious and we're having a great conversation just a wonderful wonderful guy um i kind of go man can i tell you this crazy thing because somehow it comes up i'm like because he's asking we've been working on musically and i was like well this is kind of like and he's like well you know i know i know paul and i was like well i kind of figured you probably did and he was he was like you know it's not like we're thick you know thick as thieves or anything but we know each other you know i've spent a decent amount of time and he's like but he is hard to get to he's like even i don't have like a straight shot you know i have a little bit i have somebody between us you know so he's like dude let me see if i can figure this out and i was like this is of all the shots i've had this is as viable a shot as i will have yeah so so far of people i know and have access to so that's the beginning of the summer he goes back to england and like the legend that he is he's texting me like once a week for that first probably two or three weeks kind of going like okay this is i tried this angle didn't work there let me try this i'm amazed because like i'm like i tried the side door it's locked it's locked tomorrow cameras are working they are working and so i'm really moved because i'm like god this guy's got a million things going on yeah But he's trying.

15:38And so it just meant the world to me. But sure enough, by about that third, fourth week, that text was like, hey, man, I'm going to let this breathe. I just kind of don't. I don't know what to do. And at that point, again, death, too. I was like, okay. But again, probably one thousandth of my brain power every day is way back in the recesses of my brain sort of meddling with this. kind of like, well, is it, you know, I mean, honestly, I've been praying about it. I'm not kidding. Like I really, I don't think a ton about it, but I think about it.

16:12Jon McLaughlin:And God's like, I don't have a direct line. I can see what I can do. Have you tried the window, the side window? And she came in through the bathroom window actually. Beatles reference. And so, you know, it just kind of goes away. Summer goes by, whatever. Randomly last two weeks ago, So I'm thinking about this guy. And I was like, man, what are you doing? So I sent him a, hey, man, just thinking about you. I hope your day is going great. Like, how's your summer been? And he sends me a voice note back. And he's like, you know, Dave, I can't believe. It's not Michael Caine. I was going to do Michael Caine of it.

16:49You know, Michael Caine, you can't get on the phone a lot. It's not great, but it's. It just needs to be higher. You can't go. Yeah, that's fair. Dave. We'll work on that after we're done. Thank you. Put me through a basis. So he sends me a voice note. and he's like, dude, this is crazy that you texted me this morning. I got back in contact with the mutual friend, and he thinks he can maybe make this happen. So can you send me a record and like a handwritten note? Because I think we may be back on. And it was like, holy cow. So, you know, I... So you cancel your write for the day. For the week.

17:25Jon McLaughlin:Yeah. And so I got... And so the funniest part of this to me is sitting trying to write a note to Paul McCartney. And I think that is sitting and going, I have two or three drafts sitting right here. Like what, because you know, it needs to be short. They look good. Tons of crayon. Too much crayon. Yeah. And why did I do it with my left hand? It's even my dominant hand. And so he's like, oh, is this someone? Are they okay? Are they healthy? um so i mean i i couldn't i was like i don't know what do you say like because i don't i don't want to come off too like can you send me some of your hair right but i also don't want to come off like oh we're chums you know we both do music you know what it's like yeah i'm a big fan and so i literally and you know it's a note it's a small it's like a you know what would you call those like a little note like a little postcard yeah like a postcard size thing yeah and he got me some a couple christmas goes up my you know db at the top the whole thing um and so you know i have a limited which is good i have a limited amount of space i can't turn this into a 10 page letter so you got to get to the point but you also got to and it was hysterical all the angles i took on like one was like whoa that's way too fun and then one was like oh that's too serious and then i feel like i landed in a good space because because to your point it really needed to clarify like hey this is why i'm sending this to you yeah you know But then it was like, do you kind of put your brag sheet on there so he's not like, who is this chump?

19:01But then it's like, that's like me, Dave Barnes, going to Tom Brady and going like, you know, I played flag football in middle school.

19:11Jon McLaughlin:I've thrown almost a dozen spirals, like tight spirals. And I'm about to hit a Baker's dozen. It is literally such a stupid thing. But I'm thinking, does he need to know, hey, this is what I do. I'm not, again, a hobbyist. And I've had some things that went pretty well, whatever. But then, God, that could come off so pretentious or overreaching or something. So I felt like it landed a good place where I basically, I mean, I think it was kind of some version of like, you know. Let me look at this one. Like, thanks for taking time. you know so this is what happened a few years ago i did this record it was so fun this is what i learned which i thought was fun um you know and then basically which i mean at the risk of sounding cheesy i really mean this i i thanked him i was just like man more than anything i just want to say thanks for the music like it's because i realized like that's such a benevolent thing that i can do is just if nothing else say you know man it's just you made just incredible music and i'm really thankful that you did thanks for taking the time to do it and so you know i went and took it to FedEx and sent it, which is just crazy.

20:25You went with FedEx. I don't know why. It just felt... No, it's fine. Yeah. It's just interesting. I don't know. It feels more European to me. And literally said a little prayer over the envelope and sent it. But I got in the car and I was like, I just feel like I would geek so hard if somebody I really liked did something like this. because I think if it's somebody that I followed and liked whatever art they made or whatever, I love the humanity of someone. Yeah, right. You may go, man, this person's really great at something, but they actually have dreams and aspirations too still. Yeah. It's not this sort of like, I've gotten what I want or my life has worked in these ways.

21:07It's like, man, no, I still absolutely have all these things that I'd love to see happen. and I was so moved by how many people liked that. We're just like, man, I just love that this is something you're still doing, that you still are trying to achieve these things. Haven't done this for all these years. And it was just such a, I was so moved by it, and I thought it was so cute because I made the joke and the thing, just like, hey, say a prayer, and so many people were like, dude, pray in this works out. Just like pray this. And I was like, I just, I was so, I don't know. It just meant the world to me that so many people were sort of cheering for it, you know?

21:40Yeah. Because I think it could absolutely be like, dude, he's never, like, why are you wasting your time? You know, like, what's the point? But to go, no, man, I'm like, you know. And the funny thing is, and this is the last thing I'll say, it's like, what's the hope? I've had so many people ask me this. They're like, what do you want to get from it? Like, what would be sort of like, worst case scenario, you know, feasible? So something like, oh, that can maybe happen. And then like, what's best case scenario? i think worst cases it just dies off like it has so far and you know my buddy texts or is the worst case oh he hates it he hates it he's offended how did he sends me a scathing email yeah like you thought my music would produce this kind of terrible music right like you know that's not going to happen but that would be the worst in my mind that would be the worst he would go to the press yeah this guy needs to stop his tour he's so disgusted all the fans hate you he takes out a restraining order when they play in Nashville because they're against the record not you he's not even worried about you Dave is so impotent as a creative I'm not worried about him that record is so offensive though I don't want anywhere near me that's amazing so you know but like middle and I think this is the funniest one like feasible feasible would be that my buddy texts me and he says, hey, I heard back from the mutual friend.

23:07Paul got the record and really enjoyed it. That would be, again, not from Paul, not even from his management, him texting the PR guy or whoever my middleman is and going, man, such a fun listen. Tell Dave thanks for sending. I mean, I would lose my mind just at that, just at the feasibility. And then there's like, you know i mean best case scenario is too ridiculous even out loud but like you know you get a phone call yeah yeah well that's not i mean that's too far i don't let my brain go there but like some handwritten something that's just two sentences that's like he sends it in a frame because he's like let me save you yeah let me yeah here's the shadow box i knew you'd want this and yes there are some strands of my hair at the bottom because yeah i'm sure you want that too But I mean, you know, the dream, I think the feasible dream, I'll say it that way, would be, you know, that he, I mean, two sentences.

24:06Dave, thanks for taking the time to send this. Oh my gosh. It was so fun. I would lose, John. Yeah. I would be, Jesus, God would Elijah me to heaven because I would be absolutely redundant on earth at that point. Yeah. I would make a chain with the shadow box of the envelope. I would gild the note and just have it, you know, wouldn't that just be remarkable?

24:32Jon McLaughlin:Isn't it crazy to know that you, as Paul McCartney, you have this power? You have that kind of power. It's really, yeah, I've thought about it so much and thought about it in so many ways. I think just like, it's made me think a lot about like whatever, you know, that version of that that he's given me or you or people that are kind of a little in the spotlight or whatever with our careers. and it's really been convicting because i think i'm like yeah but like whatever and it's like no man like do you matter to people you know and like you can do these things that really matter yeah and it's been really moving because i think it's easy to think like no but there's like those guys they're the ones right you know right but i think to your point it is a it's got to be a crazy it's like my brain goes two ways here's here's my wrap-up he really could be like man i really do get this all the time and it means a lot but like you know hey no thanks i don't really do this which would be totally appropriate and understandable there's also a part though that i'm like he is still just a human and especially the age he is now he's lived so much life you know so much of the glitz and glamour of that have kind of faded and now it's like this substantial fame, but not quite as frenzied.

25:50You know what I mean? Like I think he's able to kind of get around a little easier these days. Not like you or I would be able to. But you know what I mean? It's not crazy crazy. It's not Beatlemania. Right, right. Like you'll see things where I think he has a place in the Hamptons or something. He'll go sit in with the band. And you know, he's not mobbed. Nobody's going to hurt him. You know what I mean? So then another part, like I said, is like I just wonder if the humanity of it all, you know where he's like oh i love this that's so cool this guy did this you know but i don't know i don't know i mean it's like there's nights where i like you know can't go to sleep and this is where my brain will go sometimes it's like what what would this be like what would i do and what you know but either way it's just a fun thing it's such a fun thing to have to want to do it i think it's great having done music and i do think that it's cool to let

26:40Jon McLaughlin:to let it be a public thing that this aspirational thing that you are trying for you know it'd be one thing and it would be fine if you kept it to yourself until maybe you you got that victory whatever that looks like like he you get a message back you get a note from him then you post about it i think it's cool to post where you're like i'm gonna go for this it might yeah this might fail totally i was talking with a friend of mine you know six months ago or so and he he had gone for this kind of big promotion at work and he didn't get it and we were talking about you know he was he's really open about how humbling that was and he was taking it very well and i was talking about his kids i think it's great for his kids to see that that like dad dad went for it yeah and like i mean it would be a negative if he then let it just like topple his yeah his whole life like he goes into a depression but it's good to see for his kids to see him go for something not get it dust himself off and move on you know yeah that's a great lesson yeah i think it's i think it's a cool thing for that to be public.

28:06Jon McLaughlin:You're saying it's not going to happen. It's of course. I actually got word back. From the team, they can't ask him. They told you. They can't ask him, but they said even if they could. It's going to get all the way to his management office and then just sit on a desk. His manager contractually is not allowed to reach out to Paul. He's not allowed to reach out to Paul. He's not allowed to reach out to Paul. No, of course, I hope and pray that you get a letter. If you hear this, if you feel, if you have prayer space, say a prayer for all the things you aren't worried about in your life and you're dealing with your life anyway.

28:40So the question I want to ask you before we move on, if you had an artist that you could meet like that, you know, or sort of play your songs for something, who would it be? Oh man. I mean, and I'm sure, and I'm sure, and I'll give you this, like you, cause you can answer this way too. I'm sure there are seasons for those things. You know what I mean? Like maybe when you were 22, it might've been somebody. And then at 30, it might've been somebody else. And now maybe somebody else.

29:10Jon McLaughlin:Well, when I was 22, my friend Jeff, who I grew up with, he introduced me to Ben Folds 5 when we were in eighth grade. We were on our way to a youth ski trip in his dad's Saturn. And I heard Ben Folds 5 for the first time. I remember the spot where I was. It changed my life. and when we were in college, he MySpace'd Ben and sent him, I had just made my first record. Whoa. And he sent him somehow a link to my page or something. It was such a kind thing. Just my friend, there's nothing in it for him. He was just like, my buddy John loves Ben. Oh, that's so sweet. And I got a message from Ben Foltz.

30:02Jon McLaughlin:No. It just said, your friend Jeff sent me your music and asked me to listen to it, period. Like space, new line. It's good, period. That's it. No. And I was like, that's the greatest. Holy cow. If he had been super effusive, just because it's been folded, it's like, it's almost not quite his vibe. Yeah. The message I remember, it was just perfect. Yeah. um so yeah that would have been that time i mean i still would love you know it's still ben yeah folds it's still elton it's still billy yeah i would which is funny because you've actually ticked all of those yeah that's the crazy thing yeah is that you've ticked those boxes you know those guys i mean ben with that interaction but then you know you've spent time with the other too yeah that's crazy yeah and i but it's it's still those guys i know isn't that funny it's still like i still want to have them sit and like this new record that i just finished i i'm so proud of it and it's kind of like you're saying with paul it's like it's not i mean who knows how he would feel about it i i knowing this feather brain wealth motel record i'm like i know he'd like it it's a good record you know like i the music is good i know that it's just about getting getting it that moment i know which is so hard i mean it's so that's how i feel about this record it's like i mean you know forget about elton and billy and ben listening to it it's like just getting anyone to just sit and listen to an entire yeah album yeah or just one song let alone you know an album there's nothing i think in my career of any thing that I've achieved that God has, you know, given me in my career, I really think the majority of those highlights, if not by a lot, is when somebody that I really liked heard my music and liked my music.

32:13Like somebody that I really, musician-wise, that I like either listening to or contemporary you know when when i would somebody would you know and then the ways you find out are so fun like with jeff you know where he's like dude and you're like what you know just these kind of fun like how in the world did that person sit somewhere and listen to that or you know whatever yeah those to me i mean they really are i think those are the things that i probably take with me as much as anything in my career i mean i love shows that have gone really well or wherever playing whatever venues or but i think you know and even whatever uh yeah just whatever it's like those you know probably i don't know 10 times in my career where somebody that i was like just huge fan of yeah was like oh man i heard your stuff and it's great and

33:05Jon McLaughlin:you're like it's just unbelievable yeah the feeling that you get i think now my my version of that if I'm really honest right now with this new record is my peers yes I agree I would love yeah I mean I think I've said this on here before but when I put out that first mood album I got a text from our friend Tim Warren alternate roots or a voicemail he left me a voicemail I think i still have it it was the it was the kindest voicemail from a peer who i really respect who's another musician those those are just invaluable and i'm at the point in you know my musical career where i want to i of course want to follow the the things that inspire me when i'm alone in a room with the piano but beyond that when when the question of who are you making this for what you know what's your goal or whatever it's like i just want my peers to hear it and be like oh that's cool i know you know yeah you know it's two thoughts i have about that one is you know nashville la new york but only in nashville it it's the big leagues i mean this is this is major league baseball this is nfl this is premier league whatever you want to call it for what we do i I mean, so many of the best people in America, and even the world now, live in Nashville and do music for a living.