Jeff Foxworthy: The $138,000 Snake Bite

29:09But what it did for me as a writer was you had to tell an entire joke in one sentence. Mm-hmm. And so it taught me that cram it down as tight as you can get it. And children's books were kind of that way because you have a limited vocabulary. I knew I wanted it to rhyme. And after, you know, I always thought, hell, a children's book would be simple. And then after a couple of weeks, I'm like, Dr. Seuss was a freaking genius. Yeah. Because it was hard because I would like I would go, that's the thought I want to say. But the second line is one syllable too long if I'm going to make this. And so how do I do that?

29:59I got to eliminate a syllable, but keep that same intent in there. And yeah, it starts like a mouth. You're talking about, John. It's just painful. You're just wrestling with it. And it's but then when you get it, you're like, yeah, nothing better. Nothing better. The thing that I think is so remarkable about your comedy, though, Jeff, and this is the thing, like I was watching some bits, you know, getting ready for this, and, I mean, this is as high a praise as I can give. I can't think of many comics that are more natural than you are. Like when I watch your sets, you just look so unbelievable.

30:37And, I mean, this is back to early days. So you could say, well, I've done it for a long time, but I mean this. Like you look so unbelievably comfortable. Like you look like this is just what I do. I'm talking. It happens to be really funny. Now that's what, you know, the greats can do is make really hard things look simple. I mean, that's, I think that's kind of the definition of genius, but at the same time, like watching you, I just couldn't, that was the thing. That was probably the thought I had the most was like, and I mean, these newer bits, I love that you're putting them up at these private shows, you know, where you can kind of see, but you just look, I mean, Bargatze said this and I've actually done some standup on the side and I did a private show and it was, unbelievably hard and awkward.

31:17And Nate said that when we had him on. He was like, dude, those are the crucible. Like when you get hired to do those, it is just so hard. They didn't pay to see you. Half of them don't even know you're going to be there. Maybe they're not comedy fans. Maybe they've never heard of you. Yeah. But what it taught me was, even if it starts slow and they're disinterested, I'm going to look them right in the face and I'm not going to bat an eye. And by the time I say, thank you, good night, they're going to stand up. It's watching those clips. It's unbelievable how good you are at it. I mean that. I was like, look, I can't think of many comics that would own the stage.

32:03And I feel like you've always done that. And so it's so interesting that you would come up, get this other job, and then start doing that when it seems like you were just gifted to do that. It just seems like you have such a natural – I think, one, just in your posture, like literally just how you look. And you're right. I mean that's something that John and I know from music is you really have to own the stage or everybody else is uncomfortable. I mean that's kind of rule one of performing is like if you aren't comfortable, no one is. And if you aren't – but if you are – Especially instead of – If you're nervous, then they're nervous.

32:35That's exactly right. They don't relax and go along for the ride. Which you're so good at. But I think it's not just that. I think if you look at the arc of your career, to your point about the redneck jokes, it was like you clocked really early. Like, oh, hooks. I got to have – and even now when I watch your standup, I'm like, you can see that you've figured out, like, this is how I get digestible things to an audience so they can take it on. And all the time you're just so comfortable. And so it's so funny because I would have thought you were, which makes sense. And I wonder, actually, when you learn those early bits that had to have sort of even osmotically informed when you later put your bits together, because you heard pacing, you know, from Cosby from, you know, you were like, oh, this is how you talk with comedy.

33:18And so I would imagine it had to have informed some of your confidence in how you approach it so early on. Right. Just learning that stuff. Yeah. You know, because I used to say, you know, if you want to be an actor, you go to acting school. If you want to be a musician, you go to music school. There's no stand-up comedy school. The way you learn to be a stand-up comic. If you want to be a comic, you go to Georgia Tech. You go, yeah. Sean, you're ruining the whole thing.

33:46You hang out with comics. That's how you learn to do it. But there is a rhythm. And you have to find, and I tell Young, because it's like I'm the old guy. So young comics are always trying to pick your brain. I said, the closer you can get to being you, because nobody else thinks and has the same experiences that you've had. And I was very lucky early on, Dave, in that. Because it's probably like a songwriter. But in my early days, I'd be looking at billboards going, what can I talk about? I'd watch commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What can I talk about? And I settled in a place that I said, you know what I'm going to do?

34:34If I think something or my wife says something or my family does something, I am going to trust other people are thinking and saying and doing the same thing. And so when you do that and then people come backstage and they go, oh, my God, you've been in our house. Yeah. You realize you do think and say and do the same things, you know, and that's probably the key to mine. You know, Tim Wilson said to me one time, you know, everybody thinks it's the redneck jokes. He said, your best material is your relationship material. And I'm like, well, that's cool of you to say that because I think to most people it's just, oh, he's the redneck guy.

35:17Right. And I think of myself kind of more of a storyteller than a one-liner guy. Well, I think that's why you're so diverse. I mean, again, seeing these videos, I was like, you know, you've gotten the one-liners down with the redneck stuff, but gosh, you're such a good storyteller too. And I wanted to ask this. I have this theory in every comic we have on, and John's so tired of this question, but I get to ask because we're recording and he can't make it awkward. I have this theory about comedy, and I wonder if this resonates at all with you. but it seems to me that people tend to, I mean, they fall into a hundred camps, but I would argue maybe two of the predominant camps are people, which I assume you would be like this.

35:56If you put you in a room with anybody, you're just going to be funny. You know, like you, if, if you're kind of talking, it's probably funny. It's, it's even if that's just off the dome or you see, you know, it's just like, you were kind of made, I think Cosby's like that. I think there's a bunch of comics. I mean, Jonathan Winters, who's my idol, I think was like that, but like just kind of funny it's like if you got you know if you had if i was like hey tell me something funny that happened to you last hour you'd be like i can get you there hold on let me think about this where i think then there's other comics that craft you know they really they take it they sit they whittle they kind of and i think so to me it's kind of like storytellers and then sort of like you know punchline people that are like i'm gonna get this thing to the but those guys are girls you may meet them at a party and they're just kind of nice people but man you give them like a day or two to work on something they're gonna kill do you know what i mean and when i watch you i tend to think you're the first i just it feels like you're just funny you know it's i because like i do a podcast on serious called a comic mind where i just interview comedians and my first question to everybody is are you born funny or is it a skill set you can learn.

37:05And 99 % of them say you're born funny. So it's a gift. Like some people have a gift of taking care of old people. Some people have a gift for nursing. Some people have a gift for bricklaying. I don't know why I can do it. So it's kind of hard for me to have an ego about it. So I don't think you can ever be really good at it without having the gift. I don't think you could be a not funny person and just study the craft. But the really good ones do both. So like John's talking about the idea of being born. So like if I'm sitting around with you and we're talking about something and I say something and you just start laughing, then my brain goes, oh, that's funny.

37:54Bob Newhart said to me one time, he said, The comedians are like, he said, we're like magpies that sit up on the gutter of the house and we just study everything. And when we see something shiny that we like, we fly down, we pick it up and we come back and put it in our pile. I think songwriters are the same way. That's so good. Yeah. That's so good. So like, because people will say to me, oh, man, I'd love to go to a party with you. And I always say you'd be disappointed because I'm not going to be the guy in the middle of the room with a lampshade on his head. I'm going to be sitting in the corner going, I can do a bit about the guy with a lampshade on his head.

38:39So I've been working on this bit. I got bitten by a copperhead and had to go to spend a day in the hospital. What? Between me figuring out how to get away from the snake that was on the stairs above me, and he had already bitten me and my foot's like turning blue and puffing up. Oh, my God. I have the thought, I'm going to get a great bit out of this. I mean, what kind of sickness is that? Like, I haven't even been to the hospital. I haven't killed the snake yet, and I'm thinking, I'm going to get a great bit out of this. It's like an endless silver lining through a worse day. Your worst day. It's like, well, this is material.

39:28I hope the ambulance is late. And I look at some of my favorite material, and it's from things like having a kidney stone or having a colonoscopy or something. It's like I try to go, all right, this sucks so much, this is going to be easy to get laughs at. But hold on. You have to pause with a snake bite. I can't think of anything that I dread more in the world maybe than getting bit by a snake. Did it hurt like fire or what happened? How did that work? Because I don't know people that have ever gotten bit by a copperhead. Where we live, the power goes out a lot. The power lines are still above ground.

40:07A lot of old trees. Every time you'd have a storm. and power would go out. And after we threw everything in the refrigerator away for about the third time, my wife and I decided we got to get a generator. And so 3.30 in the morning, not long after we get the generator, I hear the generator kick on in the middle of the night. And I'm like, well, that's weird. It's not storming or anything. Well, then the generator shut off. And I thought, eh, maybe it's a self-test or something. And about five minutes later, it kicked back on, And I'm like, something's jacked up with a generator. So I very quietly slip out of bed, got on shorts, and it's August, shorts and a T-shirt, grab a flashlight and my phone in case I've got to watch a YouTube video about how do you fix a jacked up generator, you know.

40:55So, and I go out in the backyard, and the generator's like on the basement level down a flight of stairs and when I go to go down to the stairs, I stepped right on top of the snake and he bit me on the foot. And this is Dave's nightmare right now. I hate snakes. I've always hated snakes. But to your point, it felt like an electric shock. It wasn't like you're like, oh, this is like getting shot. Like I hopped down a couple of stairs. I'm like, dad, go over it. I thought, yeah, I thought the generator was maybe shortened out, you know, and maybe I got zapped by electricity. But it's squishy, though, right?

41:40I don't even remember the thing. I just remember it like, you know, like sticking your finger in a light socket. And I turn around, you know, and shine the flashlight up there, and he's laying there, you know. And so you went to the ER at like 4.30 a.m.? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. I have no idea. What's the clock on something like that? You get bit. How much time do you have? Well, the quicker you can get the anti-ventom in, they say if you can get it in like an hour, then you probably won't have very long-lasting things. It took me about an hour. They sent an ambulance. But now it's a 20-minute bit on stage about getting different.

42:31Yeah, it is. I mean, John said it so well. It really is for a comic. Everything is sort of a write-off. Like everything in your life is just a write-off. It's a write-off. Childbirth, you know, anything you can think of that's not fun. That's unbelievable. Yeah. That is so funny. So do you guys feel like, I mean, do you feel like what you do is a gift? Oh, a thousand percent. Because you're doing the same thing. And if you think about this, country music is the only form of music that has comedy associated with it. Yeah. In that you don't have jazz comedians. You don't have rock and roll comedians.

43:20but there are many pearls in the comedy hall of fame oh yeah roger miller and but but here's why is i think like with rock and roll i love the song layla i have no idea what it's about yeah country music song is always a story and so i think that's why it's because comedy is always we're both storytellers you're just music and yeah well the thing that's true about both john and I, if you ever see our shows, we both do a lot of banter. I would say a small piece of why people come to our shows is because they know it's going to be funny. I think one way that John and I are similar, and John would say this and I agree with him, if I can land jokes, I'm comfortable before I land songs.

44:07Songs are fine. I'm always like, can I get people kind of warmed up and having fun? Sure. I don't feel totally relaxed and in the room until everybody laughs. yeah yeah and so for us i think it's it's yeah you're collecting songs but i mean i have a notes app that just i'm just constantly like oh that'd be a great bit that'll get me between some songs or like god if when god just shines his light and something happens right before show or on stage or in the crowd it is like i have been gifted something and so it's funny because as much as i think john and i are both collecting songs i always kind of have my oh that'd be a good and then you're trying to figure out how can I make that relate to this song when it has nothing.

44:49Like how can be getting Copperhead got hit by Copperhead. Okay, how would that get me into that love song? Copperhead's love song. You know, that's the weird, you know. But it is. I mean, it's true. As a creative, I think whatever you do, you are kind of walking through life picking up these shiny things, kind of going how can I make them relate or how, you know. Yeah. And there's probably – we're not all – we're probably never 100 % fully engaged in the moment because there is that little part of us that's searching and analyzing, searching and analyzing. And I think, like, I think everybody has the thoughts that a comedian has.

45:41But they don't grab them. They have that thought and it goes in. Because, like, when I do something on stage and then people go, oh, my God, I've done that. Or, oh, my God, I've thought that. Or, oh, my God, I've said that. is you've somehow learned to grab it and look at it and go, yeah, I can work with that. Well, you said it so well. It's just like great songwriting. So much of great songwriting and great jokes are the simplest version of the true thing. Almost always. Almost always. If it's not working, you're making it too complicated. Yes, yes. That was a thing on one of the – I did a bunch of stand-up shows years ago, and my manager, I'll never forget, we got done with, we had done three or four shows in a row.

46:27And he was like, look, all right, a couple of thoughts for you. He's like, you don't have to keep adding to the jokes every night. Because I was kind of getting bored. And like you just said, Jeff, I wasn't just being present. So I was like, okay, how can I beef this one up? Or, you know, my ad. And he was like, dude, just trust the jokes. Tell the stories. Let them be done. But because I wasn't being in the moment, I was like, okay, that didn't get as much of a laugh. I need to double up on this next one. How can I make the impression a little more intense? Or, you know, and I was like, oh, yeah, half of this is just being present, doing the job, you know, you can't do and trusting that they work.

47:00Because I think that sort of to your point, I think, John, all of us, you know, you have this creative thing where it's like it's just always going, you know, and did not just keep slapping stuff on. You know, like, let it go. Yeah. You know, and for me, all right, so you want to know like one of my wish bucket list things? Oh, man. So I've written jokes for 40 years. I've written a bunch of books. I've written a bunch of TV shows, written a movie. I've always wanted to write a song, and I don't know how to write a song. I bet you do, and you don't know that you do. That's my theory with everyone.

47:42I think everybody can do it. Yeah. Jeff, I tell you what, though. We're just a couple hours away. Yeah, you just get on up here. Your wife knows the route. She can drive you. Dude, I've got like, she does know the route. We live right by Zaney's, actually. She knows exactly where our neighborhood is. Like$1 ,200 a trip, right? What's going on? No, I don't think so. I see the similarities in it. The condensed form and all. On Clint Black, one time we were hosting maybe the ACMs or something. He goes, it's like a joke, but you're doing the same setup with three different punchlines. That's so well said.

48:25Yeah. That's so well said. You would figure it out so quickly. No, I don't. You would be amazed because it's so much. Okay, well, in my notes, I have all these ideas for songs that are just sitting there. bring them on let's do it we will take we can check off a bucket list here come on yeah so can i ask you speaking of your wife you mentioned a while back that year that you did 400 some oh my gosh shows which is unbelievable i mean i know that comics there there are a lot of multi-show nights but still that that is a crazy amount of shows okay that was year one john so Because you're one. After that, I had eight years in a row.

49:14I did at least 500 shows. That is unbelievable. But I was kind of doing the – I didn't have kids yet. Yeah. And I was doing the Malcolm Gladwell thing. I was going to say, I bet Malcolm got the idea for his book from you. I was racing against time to be on Carson before Carson retired. Wow. And everybody told me when I started, it'll take you 10 years to be good enough to do Johnny. And I'm like, Johnny ain't staying 10 more years. And I said, okay, I'll do it in half of that. So it was like the Malcolm Gladwell thing. If you do something for 10 ,000 hours, you become an expert at it. And I'm like, okay, I'm grinding my 10 ,000 hours out as hard as I can.

50:00That's incredible. I actually, I told myself five years. It took five years and two months. To get to go on. Yeah. Gosh, that's amazing. But was your wife with you for a lot of that? Would she go on the road with you a lot? She cherry picked. You know, she'd look and she'd go, you go to Toledo by yourself. I'll go with you to San Francisco and Honolulu. And, you know, I'm like, I need you in Toledo. That's what I need you. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. So here's a question I have for you. This is something I've always loved about you with your faith and your comedy, is that you've always occupied – I was just watching that bit.

50:42I'm going to start laughing. Were you talking about the magnifying mirror?

50:50You talk about the way you end the jokes, you're talking about your wife, and how nothing needs to be that magnified. But then you're like, well, you know, I've only looked in at once. I mean, and then, you know, you do the posture with your junk and you're kind of looking. And the thing I've loved about you, and I really mean this, is that you've done such a good job of occupying a really interesting space. Because I think there's like, you know, really clean comedy. And gosh, when I was growing up, there was like a weird little moment where there was like Christian comedians who were really funny.

51:23It was really interesting. It was like, oh, wow, we actually have like – but generally people are either like clean comics or kind of not. And you are obviously a clean comic. But I like that you sort of just get your toe over things. Oh, I get right. My mother used to say that when I was a kid. If she said, don't cross that line, she said you would go lean over the – You know what Ron White said to me one time? And I thought about it, and it's right. He goes, you know, everybody thinks you're so clean. He goes, your greatest gift is you can camouflage a joke better than anybody. And it's like, okay, don't say it.

52:09It's so true. It's so true. I remember like right before our first child was born, And that was kind of the big thing at that time was everybody was filming the delivery of their kid. And so by that time, Carson had left. Leno was doing The Tonight Show. And I said, I said, Jay, I said, because I always talked about my life. I said, can I talk about video and the birth? And Jay's like, I don't know. You know, so then the challenge became, OK, can I write a clean joke? And so here was the joke I ended up doing. But I said, everybody goes, oh, you should have filmed the birth. It's such a beautiful moment.

52:52And I said, you know, I've seen those tapes. And to me, it just looks like a wet St. Bernard trying to come in through the cat door. And Leno started laughing. He goes, yeah, you can do that. Because there's nothing dirty there. But I just see that St. Bernard trying to get in through the cat door. Right. The audience does the work for you. They do the work for you. And I've always said it. If you give them credit for being intelligent, all you got to do is, you know, throw it out there. My gosh, that makes me laugh. So how far into your career did you guys have your daughters? About eight years in.

53:36Eight years in? yeah was it like you know when i started out my wife we got married right at the beginning of my career in the first you know seven years i was on the road we were on the road non-stop and she came out with us the whole time she loves being out on the road and when we started having kids it was a huge shift i mean i was kind of scared i definitely wanted to have kids but I was like, I don't know what this looks like. Yeah. And you have no idea until you do it. You have no idea. I mean, you know that I knew that I couldn't tour the way I was touring because we knew we weren't going to bring our, you know, newborn baby girl out on the road.

54:22But so what was that like for you? Were you scared of what the career was going to look like afterward? Or did you feel like you got to a point where you could kind of buy yourself some flexibility? I was so blessed because right at the point that we had kids, I went from clubs to doing theaters. So I went from being on the road every day, or most clubs were like Tuesday through Saturday or Sunday. And so now I'm in theaters where it's just one show in this town, one show in this town. And my dad had left real early in life. So growing up without a dad, I knew I didn't want to do that to my kids.

55:10And now I've got this bizarre job. So when my kids were growing up, I would lease a plane and I would fly home every night. Wow. So if I had a show in St. Louis, I would fly out in the afternoon, do the show, walk off stage, get back on the plane, fly back to Atlanta, get back at one or two in the morning, get up at six, take them to school. I go pick them up from school, take them home, and then I'd go get back on the plane and fly to Grand Rapids. Good night. And looking back, and it's like for the guys that were going with me, whether it was the Rons or the Larry the Cable guys, that just became, because I'm like, hey, you can come to Atlanta and base there and fly with me, but I'm going home every night.

56:07And I look back and I think, when did I sleep? That's my first question. I slept on the plane a lot. Yeah. But it gave me 100 more days a year with my kids. Yeah, priceless. And as soon as they went to college, I started flying Delta again. You know, I can't. Hey, the price had gotten so crazy. And I don't even want to know what I spent doing that. But they were more important than whatever I spent. Yeah, for sure. Yep. Yeah. They don't even kind of remember now. They were like, we're kind of always, you weren't there for some bedtimes, but you know, you were, um, so I was lucky. I was, it became more weekends.

56:58And as it rose up, it was, it was after they were born, but they were, you know, when, and here's the deal. So when your dad leaves you, like my dad's case, he had an affair with his secretary and ran off and lived with her. That's how it started. He ended up being married six times and had a thousand affairs in between. Oh, man. But when that happens to you, no matter what the grownups say, as a kid, you feel like I wasn't worth sticking around for. Right. Jeez. And so I just remember early in life thinking my kids are never going to feel that way. Whatever I have to do, if I have to go without sleep, my kids are not going to feel like they're not worth everything to me.

57:51I think that's always a struggle. We've talked about this before with a few different people, but I think it's always a struggle with the job where it is kind of a dream or it's something that you've always wanted to do. I felt this with mine a lot. It's like I never want my dream to crush my kids. That just doesn't feel fair. And so I think navigating how I have thought about my time and shows or whatever takes me away, just trying to make sure that it's not that selfish angle of that where it's like, hey, this is what I do. And it's like, well, it is what you do. But it's also you chose to also have those kids.

58:24You know what I mean? So at some point, you're kind of responsible for both of them. Well, you are. And, you know, the thing that never gets talked about is you have to have, like, my wife is so capable. Like, you know, I could be on the road and call home and she'd go, the hot water heater blew up this morning. I'm like, okay, well, I'll be back in two days. She goes, oh, no, no, I already got another one. They can't put it in. And she, but when the kids become part of it is like, I quit playing golf because I'm like, God, it takes all day and it makes me mad anyway, but I'm like, I'm not going to do that to her.

59:11I'm not going to be gone all weekend. And then here's a, here's a day that I could be with my kids and I'm out doing something that, and you have to be available to be back in the game, you know, which was kind of funny because you'd go play an arena where your name's on the side and as soon as you come in the house, you're like, she's got a snotty nose, he's got a dirty diaper, and you're all of a sudden, you're not on the billboard anymore, you know. But you have to come in and drop your bags and go, I'm back in the game. Yeah, that's right. What do you mean? Which is such a, man, talk about a shift.

59:56I mean, especially in that season where you're flying that much, where it's like every day you're doing this extremes. Like the coolest guy in the room everybody wants to see to dirty diapers to snotty nose or clean it up, throw up. Every day. That's such a crazy shift. Yeah. And without a lot of transition time, you know. You're just right back in it. But what's the most important, you know, and I do think in our society today, and maybe always, but a lot of us kind of identify by what we do. I did an interview a while back, and the lady said, okay, you do stand-up, you write books, you host game shows, you paint.

1:00:49She said, which one are you? I thought, that's a weird question. And I said, okay, the things you listed, I said, those are all things I do, and I love what I do. I'm very blessed to be able to do what I do and that it works well enough. We can make a living doing that. And I said, but who I am is I'm a child of God and I'm a husband and I'm a father and I'm a brother and I'm a friend and I'm a person of this community. I said, so what I do may change a lot of times over the course of my life, but hopefully that who I am stays consistent. That's so good. Man, that's good. John and I were talking about that earlier today.

1:01:35I think one of the harder, you know, like you were saying, Jeff, in our culture, for sure, what you do is probably the number one, you know, sort of like identity trap where we're just like magnets to it. We tend to think that that's our identity and put all our worth in it. 100%, yeah. But as parents, it also is kind of a trap of like, while you're raising these kids, it's, you know, I'm always going to be Luca and Livy's dad and it's the greatest thing in the world. But when that day comes, when they leave and they go off to Harvard, if all things go to plan, you know, and I turn and I look at Amy.

1:02:22Like, one of my fears is that we're going to look at each other and she's going to be like, oh, you're still here. You know, it is my, I mean, we're still like seven years away from this day, but I think about it every single day. And I'm always, I always want to talk to people that we have on who have gone through that because, you know, I want all the advice I can get. Like, what was that day like? What was that transition like becoming an empty nester? so John I view life as seasons teenager, dating, newlywed kids, It's teenager. Now you have teenagers and now empty nesters and now grandparents.

1:03:06It's all seasons. Yeah. Every one of them is great. Not that it doesn't mean a lot of them aren't hard, but they're all great. So what you'll experience is when that first one goes away and now you just have one, you're going to get some rich time with that one that wasn't available before. And then when that one goes away, my wife and I look to each other and go, hey, we can go eat a meal that doesn't have French fries. Hey, we can, you know. Yeah. We've always said we wanted to go to Italy. Let's go to Italy. Yeah. And so kind of for us, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Oh, that's great. I love that.

1:03:50Hey, girlfriend, what do you want to go do? Yeah. And you don't understand. So tell me if there's anything in this analogy.

1:04:05I wrote this two days ago, but I haven't tried it on anybody.

1:04:13But the point, I guess, is that it's going to be good. It's a good season. And then when your kids go away, the kids that leave your house are not the kids that come back. Oh, wow. And you go, like my youngest daughter was the messiest kid. Like her room always looked like a bomb had gone up in it. Now you go to her house, it's immaculate. And you're like, crap, it worked. You know, she grew up. And so you're always a parent, but you become much more of just a friend. And you find yourself – so here was the thing, and talking about the season. See, I've got a writer's brain. I just bounce all over the place.

1:05:03And I can't find it. But anyway, I was thinking that because I'm 67, and the biggest surprise in life is how fast life goes by. Because I was your guy's age a year ago. Yeah. I was the new kid in comedy a few years ago. And so I was trying to think how you would describe aging to somebody younger. I'm like, okay, so, you know, like when you're going to the big party and you get all dressed up, you're all jazzed up, and you get there and you're full of enthusiasm and energy. And then as the night goes on, you realize, God, half these people are morons and I don't want anything to do with them. And as the night wears on, even the people you don't think are morons, it's so loud you can't have an interesting conversation with them.

1:05:55And so you give up on that. And you finally get to that point where you're like, you know what? I'm just tired. I want to go home and put my comfy clothes on. That's the condensed version of life. It's all within. It's so true. I like that. I just want to go home. I just want sweatpants. I'm so curious. And one last question about this. What does work look like as an empty nester? That's an interesting question. Nobody's asked that. And I struggle with it. Like I never wanted to, from the, and if I refer to it, my wife has a weird name. Her name is Greg, G-R-E-G-G. So I always would tell Greg in the early days, I said, don't let me stay at the dance too long.

1:06:38My biggest fear is being the old comic that's not funny anymore. And so then I keep, you know, and having thoughts of like, and she was smart. She goes, well, if you'll just listen carefully, they'll tell you. Wow. Geez, what a thought. But I still enjoy it. I hate the airport. I hate the hotel room. But man, when the lights go down and people start clapping, you know the feeling, you know. But I just read a book called Strength of Strength, and they were finding that. Oh, I love that book. Isn't that book fabulous? Oh, my gracious. The most creative years of your life are like between 20 and 35.

1:07:20And so I do have the thought, well, maybe I should just walk away. You know, maybe it's time people are, I mean, when I came up, Alan Jackson was coming up and, you know, Alan's walking away. Maybe it's time for Jeff to walk away. All of a sudden, like I've hit a burst of, I'm writing some stuff now that's as good as anything I've ever done. Wow. And I've had like for the last two months, just a burst. and it's so fun because I'm like, oh, that's the way it used to just vomit out of me. And you're like checking it against people and going, this is good, isn't it? And they're like, yeah, that's really good.

1:08:02So maybe it's like that old person that rallies right before they die or something. Grandpa sat up and told us, oh, he loved us and then, boom, fell over dead. Oh, I love that. That's so inspiring to hear. I think that's one thing that's really interesting about comedy, though. As much as, to your point, we get to cheat because basically if you can put together 10 to 15 really great songs over 20 or 30 years, that's all we need. Where you guys are having to reinvent. I think the cheat code you guys have, to your point, as you get older, is that that also benefits you. Because the thing is, if you're funny, nobody cares how old you are.

1:08:43Nobody cares how long you've done it. As long as you're funny. As long as you're funny. As long as you're funny. I think with singers, you can go hear a singer. I mean, God bless everybody that gets in their 60s, 70s, but your voice changes as a singer. Absolutely, yeah. You can go see some of your favorite artists and realize, man, this is tougher than it used to be. You don't have to worry about that. You can talk and be, as long as the stuff's funny, people will go see you be funny. You know what I mean? That's why it's magic, because it's totally objective. I mean I could write what maybe a lot of my fans are like that's your best song we love that song but there are going to be tons of people who are like I just don't like it it's a subjective thing if people are laughing you could force them to laugh they could be there begrudgingly they'd be like I don't want to come to this Jeff Foxworthy show you know but their wife drug them or whatever and then you get up there you can make them involuntarily laugh.

1:09:44That's just magic. That's a great way to put it.

1:09:49Yeah, I guess so. And I was going to ask you a question about songwriting, but again, that slipped my mind. See, maybe this is the last thing. Okay, we have a speed round that we're going to get to, but you're going to laugh at me. I have to know this because my brain is caught on a circle that can't get out of you step over the snake it bites you you you still have a dilemma oh i have i have more than one dilemma because now i've still got a jacked up generator yeah i've got a snake bite on my foot and i've got a venomous snake between me and the top of the stairs what did you do yeah i called my wife and and i had my phone and i woke her up and i said you know she was like out of it she's like hello i said hey i i need you to do me a favor and she's like i got a headache it's like the middle of the night now and i'm like not that favor you know i said go to the garage and get a shovel put a pin put a pin in that one that was good that was really good so she she brought me a shovel and when i was telling this to my buddy in la his He literally said to me, were you able to relocate the snake?

1:11:10And I'm like, to relocate the snake that's bitten me on the foot? You're not relocating. Well, I did relocate. I relocated all four pieces of him to a cardboard pot that went in the trash can. So relocate. I just have to – does she throw the shovel to you? Because she's got to get it over the stairs. She handed it over the rail on the side of the house. Okay, so she's safe from it. But you still have this dilemma. So then you just have it. Oh, I didn't have a dilemma. Once I got that shovel in my hand, you've been in a dilemma for long. Hey, take a stab, Dave. How much do you think a vial of anti-venom costs?

1:11:51Oh. About that big, about an inch and a half. Do you need that much? Yeah, they give you the whole vial. If they're smart, they would negotiate. It should be market price, and you pay what you think it's worth in that moment when you need it. Well, yeah, because you're not really in a position to negotiate, right? You know,$100 ,000. No, that's not true. It is true. Are you serious? My bill for getting bit by a snake was$138 ,000. Jeff Foxworthy. Oh, my gosh. I can't. That is really hard to understand. And insurance covers$450 of that. No, they actually covered the anti-venom. No. They covered the whole thing.

1:12:38Which is part of the, yeah. Wow. That is crazy. And my wife was like, when the guy said it's really expensive, and I'm thinking, you know,$1 ,000,$2 ,000. Yeah. And he said$100 ,000. My wife goes, if you don't give it to him, will he die? Well, that's how valuable I am. And immediately lets me know my market value. She's thinking, how many shoes can I buy with$100 ,000? There's a guy at the golf course that's so sweet. And I know he's single. He's a little younger, too. We could probably get a few more years. And you're like, I've got to live because I'm just cranking out material right now. I've got a snake bit, literally, that I'm working on on the way.

1:13:22It's going to be good. Wow. Okay, so this is – we've got a speed round for you, Jeff. We have a bunch of these, so buckle up because we just couldn't sort of narrow it down to our usual. So what's the purpose of this podcast? Gosh, what a great question. And we ask ourselves that every day. Well, because it's called Dadville, right? Yeah. So I was thinking, is it because you're dads or because you want to know about what fatherhood is like to people? It has mutated over the years. Dave and I are musicians. We've known each other for 25 years, and we live right across the street from each other.

1:14:00No way. And we're raising these kids, and we spend all our time talking about our kids and being dads and sitting on each other's front porches. And one day, Dave's like, we should start a podcast called Dadville. But you know what? I think just the fact that you want to be a good dad is 90 % of the battle. And all I can tell you is it's going to be okay. It's going to be great. And there's such sweet time ahead, like when you have literal adult friendships with your kids. Because you think of how many flights I've been on and how many days I've been gone. My girls call, text, or come see me every day.

1:14:48Wow. That's amazing. And sometime all three. And sometime all three. That's amazing. They live close to y 'all? You're about 15, both of them, about 15 minutes away. Oh, that's so great. And you all have grandkids now too, right? Yeah. I had all girls. My brother lived next door to me for 20-something years. He had all girls. My sister had all girls. Holy cow. My first cousin was like a sister. She had all girls. So we had 11 girls. Oh, my gosh. And then we went almost 60 years, and then my daughter had a little boy. So he's the first boy in almost 60 years. And he's the best friend I've ever had in my entire life.

1:15:24And he gets up in his pajamas and we'll be at the farm. I've got a farm about an hour away. And he's like, he goes, Jax, let's go ride a tractor. I'm like, come on, buddy. You have struck gold, man. You won the lottery. Oh, he'll sit in my lap. He can plow at four. He can keep it straight. I'm like, keep the wheels on the left line. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that is, I mean, I am. So it's going to be okay. The fact that you care about being a good dad, it's, I'm telling you, because I've walked this road before you did, it's going to be great. You're going to love it. You're going to love the other parts of it.

1:16:06I appreciate you saying that because, you know, Dave and I talk about it all the time. I'm like, if I could just, if I could know somehow that I'm going to land where you are, Jeff, it would make all the, you know, the tough teen years that we're going through right now. I'm like, I can bear that totally. I just want to know, is it going to be okay? Are they going to be all right? John, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Yeah, it's going to be great. And the not knowing is part of the fun of it. See, like that's my feeling about faith is to really embrace faith, you have to embrace the mystery of things.

1:16:50It's like you're not going to figure it out. But if you think about driving, like if you're out west and you're in the desert and the road is straight and flat for 100 miles, that's boring. Yeah. But when you can't see around the next curve or over the next hill, that's what makes it exciting. And that's the same with life. And that's kind of how I feel about faith. If you'll just let go and go, I don't have to know where we're going. I just know it's going to be good and I trust you. And then you turn the corner and you're like, oh, wow, cool. Didn't know this was here. That's kind of the way life is.

1:17:28You're an angel sent from the Lord to tell us that, Jeff. I appreciate that. and we're exchanging phone numbers before we get off because with one of y 'all we're going to write a song I'm writing a crappy song if you're looking for crappy songs you don't even need Dave in the room to do that we're you guys you'll leave thinking man I'm better at that than I thought I was and they're worse than I thought they were okay speed round one time I had to perform at the White House And my wife couldn't believe that I told this joke to President Bush. But I said, you know, I said, when you're a comic, you think, what do we have in common?

1:18:10You know, Mr. President, you and I are both conservative Southern men. We've both been married for decades. Both have two daughters. In the course of your average workday, you're trying to stimulate the economy of the world's largest industrial nation, while at the same time prevent nuclear holocausts. In the course of my average work day, I'm sitting in my office going, what rhymes with fart?

1:18:39And so I was at a function in D.C. two or three years later and Bush was there and he waved at me and he came across the room. He goes, did you ever figure out what rhyme with fart? That's so good. My wife's like, I can't believe you did that to the president. I said he loved it. He remembered it two years later. That's great. I think being married, if you're funny, is just half of your life is your wife going, don't say that. Don't say that in front of people. She's actually, she has got the best meter for. All right, so I got to ask you, where do you come up with most of your ideas? Song ideas?

1:19:19Yeah. I would say I come up with them after I've seen a great show. after I've seen somebody else play. That's interesting. And I get really inspired. That's when I come up with some stuff. For me, I have a pad next to my bed with a pen on it, and I've learned to write in the dark because that moment between when I turn the light out and when I go to sleep and I will have a thought, and I used to go, I'll remember that in the morning, and you never do. And I also have a pad on my bathroom counter because I bet you 70 % of the things I think of are in the shower. And so my wife has had 40 years of me stepping out of the shower going, is this funny?

1:20:08Is this funny? And she's just got such a great gauge for it. She'll go, not really. Or she'll go, yeah, you need to work on that. That's funny. And so she's really that much of a North Star? 100%. Yeah. Like, I'll run something by her and her instinct. She goes, it's good, but you need to balance it by saying something about men on the other side. Wow. Like, that's a good thought, but you're going to need to balance it or it's going to feel like you're one. And I'm like, okay. I trust her implicitly on it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good team. You know what's funny with me? I wonder if you felt this way with your kids.

1:20:51But my kids, as they've gotten older, for my music, have been really good barometers. It's been really fun to play stuff for them. Oh, wow. Yeah. I never thought about that. But with music, it's interesting because there's something so, what's the word? There's no judgment. It's pure, I like this or I don't. I'm not thinking about why I don't. And so I learned a couple records ago. And now the kids, it's funny, they've all turned into little A &R execs, which is a little tricky. But we'll get in the car and they'll say, what did you write today, Dad? and I'll be like, all right, I'll play this, and they'll be like, that's pretty good.

1:21:22Where first they'd be like, I kind of like it or I don't. Now they're like, I literally, true story, I had my oldest son probably six months ago, I played him a song. He's like, I don't like the chorus. I was like, oh, so you know what a chorus is now. Like, okay. But he was right. And then I changed it, brought it back, and he's like, yeah, that's better. And I was like, God, that's interesting. But I think at the ages they are, which they're still young enough to be this, even though my oldest son's aging out a little bit, but they really do just go, do I like this or not? They're not going, why do I like it?

1:21:50Or it's just like, that's fun to hear. Or it's not fun to hear, which is insanely, you know, it's so valuable. Yeah. So it's been funny kind of employing them to kind of be like, hey, can I play you on something? And they'll, that was cool. Okay. So I remember what I was going to ask you. One of the things that has always kept me fascinated about stand-up is, like, if you laid carpet for 40 years, you would know how to do a flight of stairs. You would know how to do a corner. You would know how to do, because you've done it so many times. After 40 years, I still don't know what they're going to laugh at.

1:22:31Wow. Wow. And like the way I try new stuff now, everything's on note cards. And I'll go into a club. I don't want to go on a Saturday night because they're too good of a crowd. Let me go on a Tuesday night when there's 30 people in there and they'll be honest. And I just go up there with those note cards. Hey, is this funny? Is this funny? Well, if you and I were walking into the club and I had a stack of cards and you said, pick the four that are going to work the best, I would be dead wrong on two of them. Wow. I would throw it out there and nothing. Crickets. And then I would have something that I thought, this is almost too stupid to try.

1:23:10Throw it out there and people are beating the table. But to me, that's what keeps it interesting. Stand-up is like the woman I can't quite figure out. She still surprises me. Is it the same? Like when you're writing a song, do sometimes you think, oh, this is a great song. and then you try it for people and they don't like it? Does that happen? Or do you just know when you've written a great song? That's a good question. You know what I think is tricky about that that I do not think is particular to comedy like it probably is with music? I think people tend to, after you've kind of established your brand as an artist, people tend to kind of go, hey, this is why I like Dave, this is why I like John.

1:23:58And it's not to say they can't branch out of that. But I think they tend to go, man, we trust this supplier to give us this supply. Because you made me feel a certain way. You made me feel a certain way before. And so I think what gets tricky is as you get older, you know, John and I are both in our 40s now, and we've been doing this for 20 plus years. I think the hardest job that we have sometimes now is going, man, I have this different kind of music. I think it's just as good, but it's being inspired by different things. I really want you guys to trust me and try it. and I think people because you know you've done it this long it's going to be good it's just as if it's what they want and so I think that's kind of the battle now is trying to convince your fans like hey I've grown a lot so like I did this project where I just listened to Beatles for a whole year and put this record out where that was all it was inspired by it was like learning their songs and stuff and I've never had more fun making a record and I had a lot of fans that loved that but I'm sure they were just as me it was like that's cool but that's not really what I was kind of hoping for and so you know i think that's i think that's the thing that's a little particular of music is that you do get kind of branded as an artist at some point and i think then you're kind of doing this thing where you're trying to convince people like no i can i've got i've got more pitches than a split finger i can i've got a really good curveball i've worked on but they're kind of like well we put you in the game to throw the change up that's what but you know and so i think i don't know if you feel that way john but i think that's some of the battle we all have later in our careers in music is trying to sort of keep people growing with you, you know?

1:25:25Where I think with comedy, the great thing is, like John said, if you get up there and you kill on a joke about giraffes, nobody cares it was about giraffes and you're known as a redneck guy. That's just funny. And I think with music, it can be a little, I mean, if you write a slam dunk song, it's a slam dunk song, but those are so hard to come by. And I think, you know, and then it's kind of navigating that weird thing of going, man, I think this is great. Like, I really think this is great. I hope people will be able to think the same thing, you know. Yeah. See, and there's something about like for me, like if you watch me watch a comic, I won't laugh like everybody else.

1:26:02Like I remember early in my career, I was opening for Seinfeld. And so I finished my set and I got a chair and I sat next, I sat on the edge of the stage and just watched him. And after about a half hour, a lady came and tapped me on the shoulder. and she said, you don't think he's funny? I said, I think he's great. I think he's fabulous. She said, I've been watching you for a half hour. You haven't laughed. And I said, no, because I'm sitting here going, oh, that's a great joke. Yeah. Oh, man, he worded that so well. That's a great joke. Like you're thinking of the actual word choices, and you know what he could have chose, but he chose that one, and you're like, oh, that's good.

1:26:44Yeah. So I listen differently, I think. Well, I think, too, it's, I mean, I think a lot of us, like, I know when I go to shows, my wife will be like, you look like you hate this. Because I'm going, you know, I'm like watching the show and she's like, everybody else is dancing. And I'm like, oh, no, I'm loving this. But I'm going, that's an interesting chord change. Why did he use that? Oh, the drums didn't play that time. That's interesting. You know, it's just flogging it away. Yeah, you can't watch it with the same glasses. No, no, no, no. Which isn't that sort of a bummer too as you get older.

1:27:15I think that's when the afflictions are in the industry. Yeah, because you started it because you were a fan, right? Even if you had the gift, you were a fan of it. Yeah. Now as I'm getting even older, I can go back and just the competitive part of it has gone. And I can kind of be a fan again. Yeah. I love hearing that. By the way, you just made me think of this, but I sat side stage. I was playing a show in Knoxville. we got done and he was like hey do you want to see sin baddies across the street at the tennessee theater and because they were promoting both shows and i was like oh yes so we walked side stage you just made me think he said side stage and i watched him he did like he probably did i probably walked in about halfway through the set he did about another 20 or 15 to 20 minutes and then he stopped and he's like all right it's time for questions and he fielded probably 30 minutes of questions and it it was some of the funniest i was like i don't know how it was it was i left that night and i was like i've never seen anything like that like it was as funny as his is his range stuff i mean and he was just taking questions it was unbelievable you know he's got such a gift oh i mean all you guys it's amazing great comics it's just nothing like it it's like john said it's just magic it's pure magic it's like because it comes from like where is this coming from?

1:28:36You know? Yeah, amen. Okay. Well, I mean, I do think if you think, if we're created in the image of God, so you guys started this because you're dads. Yeah. Is there any other moment in life that makes you happier than when you see your kids just genuinely gut laughing? Oh, no. And so maybe God looks at us that way and goes, look at my kids, man. I know, man. Yeah, yeah. I love that thought. Okay, Jeff, it's time. You want it? Here we go. I want it. The people are pounding the doors out. Now I don't even know what we're doing. I'm nervous. No, it's great. That's how my honeymoon started. So, all right.

1:29:22Four people alive or dead that you would have with dinner, that you want to have dinner with. Wow. Maybe Denzel. I find Denzel interesting. Yes. I love Denzel. Because I think he's a deep thinker outside of being a really good actor. You probably couldn't have Jesus in that. It's your call. It's your dinner. He's there anyway. He's there anyway. So if I could pick any moment in time, I would like to have been sitting with the shepherds on the side of that hill. when they just finish the day of work and it's pitch black dark and all of a sudden the sky explodes and that. Don't you know only their laundry man knew how shocked they really were?

1:30:14It's true, true. God, that's such a hard question because I like to talk about, you would think I would just like to talk funny stuff. I like to talk deep stuff. Maybe Abraham Lincoln. Gosh, he has made so many of these lists. Well, just to say, what did you see when you did this? What did you think was going to happen? How did that compare to what actually happened? Is that about the play? Hey! The play.

1:30:50That was something you used to always say when you'd be listing your list of gripes for a terrible day. And he'd go, other than that, Mr. Lincoln, how was the play? That's amazing. God, who do I don't, you know, it's, I only got to talk to him at length once. Maybe Bill Cosby, because he was so good at his craft and so good at it. and what he did on a personal level has wiped out everything he's ever created. It's like you're not allowed to play him. You're not allowed to acknowledge him on a comedy podcast. And I'm like, well, Michael Jackson still gets played. One more. I've got to have one more.

1:31:44I like to earn hard a lot. Maybe Dale Earnhardt. That's a good one. Yeah, that'd be an interesting table. That would be. Denzel, Jesus, Cosby, and Earnhardt. Yeah. Okay. That's the beginning of a joke. All right. Speed round question number two. Favorite comic? God, it's too hard. The guy that helped me the most was Leno. Really? He would sit there. He was the number one club comic in the country, and he would sit there with new kids at a Waffle House at 1 o 'clock in the morning and tell you everything he knew. Well, he didn't even know me well, and he saw me, and he went back and told Johnny Carson about me.

1:32:31Really? That's amazing. Because I was sending tapes to The Tonight Show, and they wouldn't even open them. They were just mailing them back to Smyrna, Georgia. So he helped me a lot. Dangerfield helped me a lot. Ron White's the most naturally funny person I've ever known. Ron could recap his day and you would be gut laughing. But he's never written anything down. So there's all his best material nobody's ever heard. Wow. But I think a lot of people that aren't even comics are funny. Newhart was funny. I said to him one time, I said, you know what you can do? You can get a laugh without saying anything just by your paws and your facial expression.

1:33:15That's a weapon I don't have in my belt. So, I mean, there's all kind of ways to do it. Okay. Favorite redneck joke that you've ever written? That's your babies. I figured out the other day, I think I've written close to 10 ,000. Oh, my gosh. Maybe the one I was doing a thing on Sirius XM for the NASCAR channel, and they said, make up a NASCAR redneck joke. And I said, well, that's not really how it works. But I sat there for a second and said, okay, how about this? If your son's name is Dale Jr. and your name's not Dale, you might be a redneck. That's good. That's good. on the spot that's impressive that's amazing okay best best worst on stage moment by that we mean like my some of my favorite stories from musicians or comics or you know people who've been in the theater or whatever like when something just goes catastrophically wrong or whatever those are the best stories and you got any of those yes so i'm hosting the espies at radio city music hall and it's live and we're coming out of commercial and i'm standing there with a show producer and he says the only thing i'm supposed to say when we come out of commercial is ladies and gentlemen ray charles and so he's standing there with me and he starts to step away he goes jeff we're back live in five four three two jeff raised in the bathroom kill time and the red light comes on now i'm on live tv and he's just said raised in the bathroom and i'm thinking yes did ray go by himself did ray take a newspaper am i killing 30 seconds or 30 newspaper wouldn't have done a lot beret but sure uh yeah well braille nude paper right so yeah so and you're on live tv well i had been i had been working on a new bit about the difference in men and women getting all dressed up to go somewhere oh that works and so i said man you guys are a great looking crowd tonight you know i've kind of figured out when you're getting ready to go out for something like this the men do this and the women do this and i ended up like five minutes i had to kill like five minutes oh my gosh and then somebody's holding a sign in front of me and said raise in place you know and so i told another joke and it got a big laugh and i said you guys are awesome crowd ladies and gentlemen ray charles and so that was a moment that should have been a disaster on live television.

1:36:13Should have been a disaster of just standing there going, y 'all, we're not ready. And the next day, my wife and I were walking around New York and some guy stopped me and he said, some guy and his wife, and they said, great job last night. They said, you know what my favorite part of the show was? When you were doing that thing about men and women getting ready. And after they left, I told my wife, I said, that's the thrill of this. is that should have been the worst moment, and it was their favorite moment. Isn't that amazing? And nobody had any idea that that was flying by the seat of your pants.

1:36:52God, just like, that is high. Okay, so, which, you know, it is fair if you say the Carson thing can answer this next question, but best moment on stage for you? On stage. So, well, the Carson moment was awesome, But about six months ago, Ron White was playing the Fox Theater in Atlanta. And he called me, and he's always called me Heffy. And he goes, Heffy, he goes, I'm playing the Fox. I want you to come down and introduce me. And I'm like, okay, but when is it? Yeah, I'm in town. I'll come do it. So my wife and I went down there and got on his bus and hung out with him for a while and just called up.

1:37:34It was great to see him. And so it was just totally unannounced. I walked out there to just introduce Ron. And the Fox Theater is my favorite place to play on the planet. It's just the movie it was. You know, it's hell, 100 years old. Yeah. And the Acoustic Center is a little bit like the Ryman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just something magic in there. And I walked out. And all I was going to do was go, you know, ladies and gentlemen, Ron White. And when I walked out, the crowd immediately stood up and they wouldn't quit clapping for like two minutes. Oh, my God. And all I wanted to do was just cry.

1:38:16I mean, I was embarrassed and they finally got them. Yeah, I don't know. I don't handle it. Well, I'm like, OK, OK. But but it was just such an outpouring of love, you know. and afterwards Ron said that's why I wanted you to come introduce me was oh my gosh he said you need to know how much people love you wow yeah I didn't even say a word not a joke they just stood up and they wouldn't quit clapping and that was that was very emotional because you're like no I'm the lucky one yeah I'm the one that's gotten to do this and have loved doing this for so long, you know. But I guess that was like them saying thank you.

1:39:08Yeah. Man. That's great. And great that you have your friend who teed that up for you. That's great. Okay. If you could do one bit, you could stop the entire world and do one bit for him, what would it be? Again, it's like picking your kids. Okay, I think it would be the bit about my colonoscopy. And only because of this. I've had five or six shows stopped. And I can tell you the point in the show where it would happen. That all of a sudden, people are screaming, we need a paramedic. Because somebody's left. They've had like a heart attack and fallen out on the floor. You've had five or six shows like that.

1:40:00I did one one night with Larry the Cable Guy. I got a guy, they had to stop the show and literally wheel him out on a gurney. And then Larry had to stop. They had to stop at a point in Larry's show and they wheeled him out. And as we're watching the ambulances, Larry goes, I mean, really, it's kind of a great compliment. You know?

1:40:23The ultimate. But to have a bit that has made more than one person have a heart attack from a while. Yeah. There's no better. That is unbelievable. You could say you guys killed that night. So, okay, final question.

1:40:41All right. So usually what we ask for the final question is if you wrote a book about being a dad, what would it be called? But John had a much better question. If you wrote a bit about being a dad, what would be the punch? time to be. And that makes me the luckiest man alive. Oh, look at you. Just Jeff Foxworthy. Jeff Foxworthy. Okay, anything you want to plug before you go? Anything you got going on people need to see, come to, read? I'm working on a new special, but I don't want it to be like anybody's. I want them to follow me for the first half hour to the clubs and see me bombing and trying new stuff.

1:41:27And then come back two weeks later and see me working on that bit again. I love that. And then I want to have the last half of the show, me at the Ryman, to show that to go from an idea on a note card to a polished. Because I love, like, I'm sure you guys watched the Beatles documentary that was like 13 hours long. And then, I mean, just for weeks and weeks playing with Get Back and, well, what about if we do this? Or what about these lyrics and all? And then at the end, they go up on that rooftop and they're playing it. And as I'm watching it, I'm crying. I mean, I'm just sitting there with tears rolling down my face going, it's so freaking cool.

1:42:15to see behind the curtain, to see what got thrown out, what got kept in, what got rejected. And so nobody's ever seen that with comedy. And I think being the old guy, my ego is such, I don't mind showing myself try something that's not going to work or barely works. And then back in your office going, I know this is funny. I'm just not doing it right. How do I fix this? That is the thing. I think of anything that terrifies me, and I have the most, maybe, the respect for comics, is that when people in every comic we've ever had on this podcast talks about this, like, oh, you know, I'll go and do smoke mics, get stuff tight.

1:43:00And I'm like, I can't do that. There is something about, like, even with songs, like, playing somebody a half out, it feels like, no, I'd just rather it be fully good or fully bad, not sort of like, what do you think? And then I'm like, I'll do that with, you know, John and my really good friends. I'm like, do you think this is going the right Annie all the time? Like, is this going? But I just, it's amazing to me that you guys do that. It's amazing that you would get up and know there is a high percentage of failure for what I'm about to do. But that's all right. I'll figure it out. And that it doesn't, that is crazy to me.

1:43:32The good outweighs the bad. Yeah. Yeah. Because when you do that one and it clicks, you're laying in bed that night going, Oh, this is going to be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even think about the ones they did in the lampad. Yeah, they all disappeared. Oh, my gosh. Jeff, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I know I went because I have a podcast. This went way too long. No, no, no. There's no such thing. I keep going, so we'll have to do it again someday. We'd love that. We would love it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Dead film.

1:44:09Yeah.