Matt Wertz: The Perfect Amount of Children

32:52And there's literally always someone crying in our house. If it's not one of the kids, it's Annie or I. And like, it's just, yeah, it is so hard. Having the office or your studio in the house is tough. I know. When we moved into the house that we're in now and my little office studio is in the backyard and it's not attached to the house, Amy and I both say that was a total life changer. So it was good for her too? Yeah. Why? Just because it was hard for me. It's hard for me to hear what you're describing. Like I need to, at a certain point, yes, I'm flexible, but I do need to get some stuff done.

33:42Otherwise, eventually we will have to sell our house and move back in with my parents. So, you know, I got to get stuff done, but it's so hard when you're hearing meltdown happening. And I'm just, I'm sitting on the couch thinking of a rhyme. I'm like, this feels wrong. I need to go help. Meltdown. What rhymes with darkness? So when you can't hear that, it just makes it better. I really think the darkest, some of the worst fights that Annie and I got in in that season were about exactly what y 'all are talking about. Was that weird? Because, you know, I know this is so on the nose, but our job is just so weird.

34:29It's one thing if one of the three of us is like, hey, I have definitive things that have to get done today because either somebody needs my mix tweaks because this is timely. Or so-and-so that's going to play guitar on it is waiting for the file so they can play guitar on it. Or you have a co-write. Right. It's an actual tangible thing that day. Or even if you're working on one of your songs and you're like, hey, I have to get a vocal. Something that feels mildly definitive, you have those, right? And then I could look at Annie in that season and be like, hey, I actually do. But man, the other 90 % of my time is like, what is that bridge going to be like?

35:07You're kind of fishing. You're just kind of – you're showing up. Yeah. Yep. And it's hard for me. It was really hard. And I felt a lot of guilt and shame around this. Looking at Annie, like you said, she's like eyes crossed trying to just figure out, did I eat today? Right. And I'm like, I'm going to go sit and just, I just feel like this one guitar part's not right on the top. And she's like, okay. Or I need to just go and play. And just, yeah. I need to play something else to get out of my creative roadblock so then I can find a way. Honestly. I got to go play to get out of here. What ended up happening a lot is I would help, but I'd be kind of irritated.

35:59I was never irritated with Amy. I would be feeling the like, okay, I'm helping, but I got to get back there and get stuff done. Then at a certain point, I'm like, all right, well, it's too late. I'll get up early tomorrow and I'll try to get to that stuff. and then I'm helping with bedtime and I'm like, I got to get to bed because I got to get up early. That's the part where Amy's like, I don't want that in my life. Like this is hard enough with the kids. I don't want to be also managing your anxiety. Right. So yeah, now that you have your own space, let's just compartmentalize that a little bit more.

36:36Well, I think so much of what we do there, I mean, some of it is, but I think generally, unless you're on a label, which, you know, all of us have been on, you know, you're a little more deadline centric. people are checking in you have like you know you have people that are kind of like hey john we need even that yeah you're responsible to some people but you know when you get out of that season of your of your uh you know vocational life and you're releasing your own it's just there's just not the deadlines kind of go away a little bit yeah or you made them well you made the deadline so you can change them you can just push it back and so that that that is that gets real i get i get um triggered a little bit and this is totally me it's zero percent amy when i'm like you know when amy's like what do you what do you have today oh man what do you have that question making money um i have a job yeah yeah yeah how do you how would you key change out of g amy huh i know i i want to i want to respond to that was like with like is it any of your business

37:47does that change anything it is paramount to her business she's like no it's very much my business yeah that's an easy one yes it is next question yeah i do agree though i think i had a studio in barry hill for a while kind of in the season that you're in right now and uh like you said john it was sort of a collective with annie and i both kind of going like it's probably smart for you to like because we i think we're still at wallkirk and it was like man just being able to just even if some days i didn't even get much done just to kind of like get out of like you know that that headspace so tell so tell me this so so okay child one okay yeah let's walker rewind what is what's the onboarding in that season with him where were you and Annie with like, oh, wow.

38:36Okay. So we, I mean, we could probably go back and reference the, you know, the first conversation, but like we were definitely like, let's, like we are in no hurry to meet this child. Like we, like we are like, we like our life. She was late. She was two weeks late. Oh yeah. And then finally, Doc was like, we need, we're going to induce today. okay we're gonna have the baby today and um so ended up having an emergency c-section which was like um which was fine i mean we were just at you know we're just like i'm both are we're thinking as long as everybody's healthy that's what we're looking for you know so but um i think both of us pretty naturally just like with a lot of ease kind of like assumed the position of like mom and dad it felt very it did not was not that jarring we like I felt like like after a little while like maybe being home for a few days I started like falling in love with with my son and feeling like an immense amount of pride around being a dad and um i was i was like just juiced on like endorphins in a way that i've never experienced before so i was like i i got the thing that people talk about which is like maybe the first time in my life where like something has exceeded expectations because I usually am like I have sky high expectations and I'm usually disappointed in life like most of my life I am bummed out with like things don't things like reality does not meet my imagination of what the thing's gonna be and this was like the first time in my life where it was like this is better than anything I could have imagined I'm like I I was just flooded with love and gratitude.

40:58It was just my memory of those first six months or whatever. Even, honestly, until Ford came, it was just easy. and was just right. Where did y 'all move in that, by the way? We moved... Like right before, right? Yeah, I think we moved October 3rd and our due date was the 26th. That's a lot going on. But we didn't end up having the baby until November 9th. Okay. Y 'all had a little time to get settled. We did. And I think that's another reason why we were like, baby can stay in there as long as he wants. Or we didn't know. as long as he or she wants. We were surprised both times. That's so funny.

41:50And so, yeah, we got moved in. And, I mean, literally thinking back on it, I'm like, I cannot believe. There's a picture of Annie pregnant in our old house surrounded by moving boxes. She literally boxed up our whole house. That's incredible. Because how on earth did she do that? And she was nine months pregnant. And because my album had just was coming out and I was playing, I was playing a few shows. Oh yeah. There was just like a ton. I was like out of town. And like we, we threw those parties in my backyard for that. That's right. Release. And like, so like I just couldn't do it. Yeah. And she literally packed the whole house at pregnant.

42:36And I, there's this awesome picture of just her like with her hand on her belly with her Stanley, you know, water bottle. surrounded by moving boxes. There's so many things you look back on and you're like, I cannot believe that we did that. The thing that I can't believe we did this time around was a month into Ford's life. Ford was born on July 2nd. A month into his life. Nashville summers are just so miserable and they just persist and they keep going. and they add time to the calendar somehow they add time it's the it's brutal and i'm like i'm like i gotta get out we gotta get out of here i gotta get out of here and therefore we're you're welcome to come here yes so i welcome we were we were like i approached um our friend uh who has this mountain house in north carolina and i was like can we can we use your mountain house he's like oh yeah absolutely and he's like giving the dates i'm like is there any way we can go sooner than that he's like oh yeah as long as you're out by like we're using it this day but if you and and like we went on a road trip that ultimately took set it was like a seven or eight hour drive each way by the time we're stopping to feed we took an eight hour road trip with a one month old and one and a half year old to North Carolina.

44:09And, and, and looking back on that, I'm like, I cannot believe. And, and Annie now is like, yeah, I kind of like, I, I let you have that one. I'm like, thank you. I can't believe we did that. Yeah. Cause that like, it was, it's still the verdicts out on like whether or not that was a good idea. Yeah. like i think it was because it was so hot and it was like 75 degrees yeah up there and like it was rainy which wasn't even an issue because like we're like oh thank goodness yeah you should like this feels great and um but you know it was just yeah there's just things that you look back and you can't believe you did it and i think we'll probably like look back on this whole time and be like man either we don't remember it or we like we made it i can't believe what i think about When I think about when Luca was born, it's very similar to what you're describing.

45:04It was the sweetest, best time. I loved it. And after Livy was born, just having two was so hard. Yes. So, so hard. But what I actually remember are only the good parts of it. I remember sort of like the banner over that time is this was like the hardest time of my life. Yes. But I don't remember the actual granular challenges are not what I remember. That's good to hear. I know this is a very dumb question, but what do you feel like the biggest difference so far between one and two is? The biggest difference is that there's no margin. Annie's not getting any time. I get time because we've carved out work hours for me.

46:00But again, like we're talking about, sometimes those work hours, what do you got today? I'm like, work, you know, in quotes. So I get time. And sometimes work is like, I'm going to go to the gym. and part of that is there's some networking stuff involved because of where I go to the gym. You just don't know. There's so much. You're still doing the four seasons? Still the four seasons. There's a lot of networking with that jet set. Yeah, yeah. Todd, how was the ski? Did you ever get out of the weekend? I love that. You just don't know what's going to contribute to the next thing. Anyway, I think the hardest thing is there's no time where Annie doesn't get any time anymore.

47:03Even when my mom is holding forward and Walker is at preschool, Annie's still got stuff that she's got to do. or minimally that she's thinking about. So there's like brain space. There's never a time where her brain isn't cranking on what needs to be done. And so, yeah, that's the main difference, which I'm sure everybody would like. I'm sure that everyone can relate or has been able to relate. We're just doing it later than a lot of our peers. When you think about that, that's such a good point. Do you feel like there's – what are the pros of that, of having kids later in your life? Oh, the pros of having kids later.

47:54Well, one thing I like about it is that Annie and I lived a lot of life. And we have no regrets. Yeah. Have you seen that guy's tattoo? there's like a meme about oh yeah it's like he's it's like he's gotten tattooed like no regrets but it's misspelled regrets i'm like this is funny i hope that's real but um so we literally like don't have any regrets also um i did a lot of my hustling in my 20s and early 30s to the point where like, I'm just not hustling anymore. And because I'm not hustling, like I'm around, I don't really have the same like urgency to like be on the road all the time. Like I did, if I had had kids when I was 20, like I wouldn't know my, my children would not know me, you know?

48:54So there's like, I do feel like I kind of like got some stuff out of the way. So I feel like I'm like a very present father. Now, What more likely would have happened had I had kids in my 20s is I probably would have gone and focused on my kids. And I wouldn't have done what I did musically with my career. But I got to do it. So there is this sense of like, yeah, I did all that. And this is better. I don't want any of that back. I'm not like... Dave. Yeah. Look, I feel like improving your sleep has somehow become this whole production. Yeah. You know? Yep. It's like it's on Broadway. Like new mattress, blackout curtains, supplements, tracking your REM cycles.

49:42It's exhausting just thinking about it. It's too much, John. It's too much. Right. But funny thing is, I realized the issue for me wasn't any of that. It was just my bedding. My sheets were worn out. Yeah. Corners popping off. Yeah. Pillows flat. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. And I didn't even notice how much it was affecting my sleep. Here's the thing. Yeah. Most people don't need a whole new system. They just need better sheets on their bed. Exactly. And that's why we upgraded to bowl and branch. And it's wild how big of a difference it actually made immediately. They make everything, too, not just sheets.

50:13Their signature organic cotton sheets, pillows, blankets, comforters, it's all designed to be super soft, breathable, and actually work together. Yeah, and we started with the signature sheets. And the first night I got into bed, I knew it was different. It was softer. It was cooler. Just more comfortable overall. And here's the funny thing. The sheets get softer over time. It's like me, John. That is funny. I can't imagine sleep without Bowling Branch now. Upgrade your sleep with Bowling Branch. Get 15 % off your first order plus free shipping at bowlandbranch.com slash dadville with code dadville.

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51:31Shop Karaloja Bamboo Sheets now at karaloja.com. That's C-A-R-I-L-O-H-A dot com. And wake up to better mornings every morning. I'm not sitting here wishing like, oh man, I could be playing like whatever. like no like i got to do all that which probably had you had kids earlier and you probably like you said would have stopped and focused on your kids you would always have that voice in the back of your mind probably yes like what could this have been yeah so i think that's a big benefit it i also think um we like just from a just where where we've where we are like in emotional maturity i think is like way beyond where we would have been earlier on um so yeah i mean and it's also nice to like be able to i mean okay it's nice to have people who have gone before to say like to to kind of give some hope and you know uh vision for the future um but i'm also like realizing oh dude i mean have like finding the people who are like in the same life stage as you is you just cling to them.

52:57Because even something as small as going over to another family's for dinner who don't have kids in your same age group, it's like, oh, this is so stressful. Because there's booby traps all over here. And I'm constantly, oh, you know. And when you go over to somebody else's house who's got a toddler, they've got everything's they've got the gate oh yeah everything's already like you know ready not to mention they're like yeah it's okay like they're in that meltdowns are here too yeah yeah there's no that's a great point spilling milk on top of already spilled milk so it's fine yes yeah so i think that's like um and we've got like between yeah like brad and ally and then friends beth and teddy like we just are like yeah it's so helpful you know that that village thing is such a real thing it is you know even even for just like can we come over so we don't have to entertain our kids oh dude i mean what do you do with the last like three hours of the day bro that is the four o 'clock i mean when back in the day when dave and my kids were younger just being Being able to pop over to the barns or they come over, even for 45 minutes, it takes so much of the pressure out.

54:24That makes so much sense now. I don't think I understood. Also, it's just given me so much appreciation for you guys who've gone before. I'm like, dude, I don't have any energy left to pursue any friendships right now. It's like at the end of the day, it's 7 o 'clock or whenever after Walker goes down. Like I don't want to leave the house and go hang out with anybody. Which is saying a lot because you were such a relational dude. Yes, I want to sit on the couch and just decompress for an hour and a half, and then I want to go to bed at 8.30 because I'm going to have to get up at 6 tomorrow. So that's the same way.

55:15Even with drinking, I might have wanted to have a cocktail or a bourbon or something before I went to bed, and now I'm like, dude, I don't know what tonight's going to be like. so I don't I don't want to have to like I want to be that I want to be clean minded and like and I also don't want to have any issue getting up tomorrow yeah like because it's only gonna affect me and and like Annie so yeah it's uh I just appreciate and I understand like so much more even like I I feel like we've been uh like the generation of men like like our dad's age and stuff like looking at it and like wondering like who are their friends you know i'm like i see how that happens 100 i get it i get it and i'm like this is something that you like have to fight for because you i just i just understand it's like so it can happen so easily you know what's it's funny it's i thought about this a lot is as our kids have gotten older is it's like um the pattern of my life is so interesting now where it used to in your season when they were little it's just kind of chaos and it's not very relational with them i mean it is but not not like it is now obviously where they're little humans you know right um and so you know we're kind of like chasing around we're doing all these things you're still doing that like i'm still doing that now but it's that's my life now like so in other words like every morning i go to annie and i go what is my day today and now she knows that i'm and thankfully which you'll get to like there's i can work like they're at school and it's you have a whole day it's awesome um and so now that's not it's it's so funny how those seasons change because now that's never i mean it most annie will be like hey i could really use your help like with whatever for like an hour today but it's nothing like that season you're in where you're like kind of fighting for your time.

57:18You know, it's kind of like... I mean, in like five, six years, whenever Ford is in school full-time, it's totally different. It's so different. Then the next, you know, whatever, 13 years will be that phase. That thing, which everything I hear is like, it's no less, it's just a different kind of hard. That's what I'm trying to say. But it's also a different kind of fun. And I think what surprised me maybe the most about being a dad and a parent is that if I, if I, this is maybe if some people may hear this and be like, that's so sad. But if it weren't for my kids schedules, I don't really know what we do in the afternoons.

57:56You know what I mean? It's like, I love that we like today is a great example of a day for us is like, you know, we get up, we take the kids to school. Obviously I'm sitting here with y 'all and he's, I think running some errands and, uh, she's going out to the cabin because somebody's doing a photo shoot today. So she's doing that. So she's, you know, she's sussed out. Ben has a soccer game today for the school at four. Sam has a baseball game at five 30. That is so much fun. Yeah. And I love that. And I think what, what has surprised me the most, I remember laughing with a friend of ours about this cause his kids were still young and he was saying like, I can still feel myself fighting for my territory and our marriage and family life.

58:40And I was like, you know, there's going to be a day where you stop and it's really liberating. That's key though. Because you finally get to... When you get to that day where you just let it go. You give up. And I don't think it's where you are. I think it's too hard. I would have never been able to do that when they were little because I was still like, I need to get stuff done. But there's this really wonderful thing where they get a little older, life sort of gets a little more sussed and you go like, like today, like hey what does my day look like and he's like all right you got to grab and then this yeah i'm like great all right i think so i think even if i were like and i know this and this is where we are and it's early these early stages of like being parents but like one of the things that annie has a hard my annie has a hard time with is like she doesn't want to be the only one thinking about yeah yeah if i said what's my what's my day like like today she's like she kind of resents that But why am I the goalie of life?

59:38I don't want to be the goalie. Was it Morgan Cutliffe? Goalie is great. We had someone on the mental load. That was an eye-opener for me in this regard. I do want to be sensitive to making sure at least Amy knows I'm willing to take on whatever needs to be. taken on i i don't have to be the dumb buffoon who doesn't know anything and i can just right you know you know go pick up the kids when she tells me to pick them up yep you know but at the same i don't know if annie is like this amy likes the idea of that yeah annie's exactly the same but she's like when it comes down to it let's be honest she's she wants to be the one that that keeps track of it and i just know with annie she's just so much more clued in on the on the of movings and this might be one of those things that like is will be i don't know if this is like the the distribution of like responsibility and everything um like i will never know like i think biologically there's something um now you know like maybe like i could be totally wrong so i'm it feels like biologically I am never going to understand what it is to be a mom and I wonder if there's things that they're thinking about just naturally that I'm never going to think about but there's things that I'm thinking about that you're never going to think about and I guess I would just like for that to be seen as valuable too because Because it almost feels like the only thing that carries any weight is what's happening with the kids.

1:01:36I'm like, well, I'm figuring out how to sell your business. And I'm talking to people off market about selling our rental property. And there's other stuff that I'm kind of shielding. I'm handling. so I think just finding that and I do I do really like anticipate and will welcome that moment where we just kind of like both surrender into what those things are this is just like I feel like those first three or four years watch what I do here are like a snow glow Christmas is coming y 'all make sure to listen to it stream it you can start streaming what a song that is by the way that is a bop of all Christmas bops shout out to Matty Diaz she sings on that bgvs dude that's but but not not featured but she is she's in there but like i just think that first three or four years is a snow globe it's like your life just gets shaken so hard and everything is in the air and it's just a free-for-all positionally yeah you know with you and your wife with roles whatever yeah and i think it's so beautiful when i think even maybe you said this john but even when they just kind of start doing like preschool or something where it's like, I'll never forget that.

1:02:55When it was like, all of a sudden, Annie were like, we have like two days a week where all the kids are kind of spoken for. Just two days a week. And it was like, whoa. Whoa. Yeah. You want to have a lunch date? Yeah, yeah. Like we're getting land back. Yeah, you want to go see a movie? I mean, it was amazing. Yeah. And so even it's like with each season where you're kind of getting more of that back, to your point, it is funny. You said that so well. I remember, I'm not speaking for any, and I never will, but I remember feeling like you could feel things settle in. It's like all the things you fought about where it's like, why can't you just do this?

1:03:35Why can't you do this? They just naturally sort of took care of themselves. In that snow globe era that you're in right now, I think like two things that I noticed, two actual things that made, if there were no other elements in the mix, these two things change everything. It's like if you're taking some sleep away from both of you, neither one of you are sleeping super well, that on its own is going to change everything. Also, you said there's always someone crying. There is a stage of life when you have more than one kid, I guess, that there's always going to be someone crying in your house.

1:04:14And I remember thinking, Amy and I talking about this, like when we just had Luca, we're like, I think part of the reason why a lot of marriages experience strain when kids come along is literally just one of us is holding a screaming baby. and that the conversation that we're having might have no tension at all yeah but tension is added just because we're like our mirror neurons that's it that's it yeah yeah that's it dude and can we just talk about can we talk about like okay so i'm a social jason get ready to edit yeah i'm a social I'm a social guy. Out and about, walking the kids, you know.

1:05:01If we run into someone and our kids are melting down. Oh, man. And the person we're talking to isn't like ending the conversation. I'm like, hey, we got to go, man. Like there's – the baby's crying. Walker's starting to like, you know. Twitch. It's like, please let us leave. Yeah. Please let – I don't care about – Will you free us? Unmoor us to this conversation. Push the boat out. The stroller needs to keep moving so the baby will shut the – up. And like I'll talk to you later. You just keep – I'll just kind of walk with you. Okay. No, and you know what's great is that like we ran into – My sister lives in the neighborhood.

1:05:51One of my sisters. I have three. and we ran into her from across the street one day and we were on the end of our walk and so it's like, you know, we were like, it's time, it's time to go. And Katie's like, hey, and she's about to walk over. I'm like, I was like, we're melting down over here. She's like, oh, got it. And she just like kept walking. I'm like, great. I don't have to like, you know, there was no like. But the person with no kids is like, oh, tell me more. That's a conversation starter. Can I be so bold? Hey, can I be so bold because I was this guy and I say this because I shot it and I've got it.

1:06:26Yeah. Your sweet single friends who, who, oh, I gotta be careful. Jason, get ready for an edit. Who not only, gosh, Lord, forgive me. Everybody that hears this, it gets mad at me. Please forgive me. But like your sweet single friends who not just want to hang, but they talk about themselves the whole time. Oh. It is just like, and I was that guy. I remember with Ed, especially Cash. Shout out to the Cash. when I was working with him, it was just always about like, dude, okay, I got this thing I'm trying to make. And how stressful it's been. Okay, that's interesting, Dave. And then not only that, but do you think I should get that new guitar?

1:06:58I saw Taylor, and he's like, what are we doing? Can you not see anything that's happening in the room? Everything you just said is stupid. It's dumb, and nobody cares. Nobody cares. You know, like, and I'm not, I mean, I'm saying that because, again, I can't tell you how much I was that guy. But I think as you start putting your family together and you have visitors over, you're kind of like, okay, this is going to – let's just clock how this is going to go. It's a dynamic. But you know what I want to say? I think this is so true, and I'm sure there are books that would dispel this notion. But I just don't think there's a way to do it really well.

1:07:39yeah it's just in other words like it'd be i really think it'd be akin to like a guy or girl that's going off to boot camp and you're like hey do boot camp well yeah it's like really do boot no you just yeah you just fall apart well just yeah just survive you just want to survive it's like you just and so i think the grace the grace we all have to have in in so many moments of parenting you know in any season because they've all got this but i think i would really especially the senior it's there's there's just no you have to chuck the metrics you have to chuck this sort of idea of like are we doing this how i feel like we're not they do they cry more or less than other kids it's like there's you just want to get through it yeah and of course you do want to be present you want to be but at the same time it's just like man this is this is the most taxing part of i think parenting as far as because you're not just emotionally spent you're physically It's like everything that can be taken from you is being taken from you.

1:08:39And so I think to some degree, to your point about, you know, with Katie or whoever, it's just going, look, man, we're just trying to get through. Hold on to your life. Let me also add to that. The other morning you sent me, Wirt, you sent me a video and it was early. It was like pre seven o 'clock maybe. Oh, yeah, easy. You and both the boys were out on your back porch. It was like a beautiful morning. Yeah. Like, when I see this video that you sent, it was so sweet. And there's a part of me, of course, that I'm like, I miss those days. Yeah. You know, like, so you're doing it. You're doing it well, you know.

1:09:20Man, thanks. At least in that one moment, you were doing it well. And again, it's a funny combination of thoughts. And also, it's like, you kind of can't do it well. Right. So it's beautiful. Just doing it is doing it well. Doing it is – that is wonderfully said. And Jason, that's our title. Just doing it is doing it well. And LL Cool J would have loved that. Doing it well. I will say one of the greatest gifts that we have been given is a babysitter who is willing to take both the baby and Walker. And so we get – and we have a regular night. Like a week. Yeah, for a week at a time. Every Saturday, Friday.

1:10:10So once a week. And it's either a Friday or a Saturday night. Oh, you told me about this. And we get to have a date night. And for a while. Where you'll just sleep at a table. We realize. Well, one of the things that we're excited about is going to see a movie. We're going to go to a movie. Like you realize. And sleep. going to a movie is like it's a yeah a luxury when you have kids like dude how like so i want to go see a movie we both want to go see a movie um but we've been able to go to like several parties um oh yeah because we like went to a couple concerts like and i'm just like this is i mean we feel so like refueled yeah and we have had time what's like a little hope it's a little It's like you just get that little bit of hope.

1:11:01You're like, there's something on the other side of the season. Well, it's something to look forward to. There was a time a month ago I was sick for so long. I got sick, and then I got better, and then I got sick with the same thing again. I'm like, what is going on? I think it was allergies because I started taking allergy meds, and it took care of it. But there were times when it was like this body fatigue. It felt like I had COVID, but I didn't have COVID. And I was just like, this is the rest of my life. Like, I am like, there's, and I don't have anything to look forward to. That feeling, that I can't, that was the end of me, that feeling.

1:11:44Yeah, there's nothing to look forward to. Oh my gosh. And I feel horrible. I'm like, just staring out the window, holding my crying baby boy. and I'm like, yeah, this is pretty dark. It's over. Everybody out there is having so much fun and free. They're doing whatever they want all the time. Everybody just got a raise. Okay, can I ask you this? We actually haven't asked somebody this and I'm really fascinated by this. Of the new technology of stuff. That's a great question. Okay, because we're, gosh, Sam's nine now, so we're like eight years kind of past. seven and a half years past this season.

1:12:26What is the cool new stuff that y 'all have loved that's like the baby tech? Oh, baby tech? Yeah. Baby tech. Baby tech. Baby tech. So, well, I think the number one thing we utilize that we've probably been like, dude, the duna. Do you know about the duna? Oh, is that the thing that rocks your baby? No, that's a snoo, which we have. Why is everything from Sweden? Ah, that's the snoo. Oh, that's the duna. The duna. Yeah, it's true. Duna. But the Duna is the car seat that flips out with the legs. I almost had another baby so we could use that. They came out with that as soon as I got my vasectomy.

1:13:07I swear. Because we had a dinner at our house. Duna is actually vasectomy in Swedish. It's John's vasectomy. I'm going to get the Duna. I remember this was like right afterward. and the haywoods were over yes and they had this little thing that they popped it out and the wheels came out and i was like i could have used that that could have made my life so much better that thing is like eight months ago it's awesome i i don't even know what life okay here's the other thing i can say and i do know the difference here because we've had a car seat that did this and we didn't do this and now we have a car seat that does this.

1:13:49The car seat that swivels. Oh, yes. I just saw this the other day. It's like it's mounted in there but then it swivels so that you can just put your kid in right in the door and then you swivel it into place. That thing. So we have that in Annie's car but in my old car we just have like the old style and literally I'm like wedging. Oh, yeah. I'm like picking Walker up and like wedging him in like holding him horizontally to fit underneath the door frame, but into the, and I'm like, dude, uh, the, the swivel car seat is a game changer. Doing that in the summer, like I can immediately be back when it's like, it's a thousand degrees outside.

1:14:30Yep. You just took a shower, you got your clothes on and you, you put your kid in the car seat like that. And then immediately I'm like, I need another shower. Yeah. Dude. Yeah. I need a swivel or a shower. What is the, what is the, this, tell me about the snoo. That's the, that's the sleep thing. The snooze, the sleep thing, it's the guy that kind of like wrote the book, The Happiest Baby, Happiest Baby on the Block. He wrote the book on that. And he does like a sleep, has like a sleep training method. But he developed this. Oh, I didn't know that. And what it does is it has a proprietary sleep sack that then clips into the side that tells the bassinet that there is a baby properly secured in this.

1:15:26And then it will turn on. And what it does is it starts out with a gentle rocking and there's white noise. So it just swivels like this. but just the entire thing, just the inside. So like, it's like you're putting them on a platform with a, that's like, so it's not connected to the edges. It's not connected to the edges and the edges, but you can't tell when you look at it, the edges are like all this like woven material. So it's like, so, you know, it all just, it just kind of does this real gentle. And then as they cry, as they make noise, it increases its intensity, but it has like sensors.

1:16:01It has sensors that pick up on the, on the level. On the noise? On the noise that the baby's making, and it raises the volume of the white noise. Oh, my gosh. And the style of the white noise. So, like, at first it's just like, yeah. Oh, like brown or white or whatever kind of noise. Yeah, and it'll... Oh, the heartbeat. It'll be... But the thing is, every baby responds to it a little different. And Walker did well with it. I think Ford kind of, he gets freaked out if it gets too intense. So I don't know if it's like actually, we're actually kind of afraid. Right now, Ford is still in the room with us in the bassinet.

1:16:46And in the SNU or just in regular? In the SNU. Oh, okay. Yeah, the SNU bassinet. And we are getting, we are closely approaching the day where he needs to move out and we need to start sleep training. and that feels like it's going to be intense. But that's where you would hope that works. Well, the thing is, he's going to outgrow the snooze. What do you do after? Is there like a level up from that? No, it's just a water bed. Yeah, it's a water bed. It's like a 1987. It's huge and heavy and getting it on the top floor of the houses. But yeah, it's just a crib. So that snooze is only meant for the first few months.

1:17:31It's meant for the first. Basically, it's got a weight limit. I think it's maybe the first four months or something. Oh, okay. Or if the baby gets too tall, and he's hitting his head or the edges. So, yeah, we're going to have to – he'll move upstairs. Unfortunately, Walker and Ford's bedrooms are next to each other. And so we have a lot of fear that Ford's crying all night. is going to wake up Walker and we're going to have, um, we're going to have a mess. I don't, I, I'm, I'm not an expert. Um, but if I remember right, and I can tell you from experience kids is gosh, somebody listening to this, I'm already expecting someone's like yelling, you know, getting a Corolla or Corolla.

1:18:16Why would she be in a Corolla? He'd be in a Corolla. But, um, I think there is some weird phenomenon where kids up into a certain age, basically just sleep like dead people and i can tell you so in other words i think i wouldn't be surprised if y 'all are fine because there's something yeah because and i will tell you we had a smoke alarm go off in our house i will never forget this and it was like i mean you know snow smoke alarm yeah oh i know none if anyone knows i mean yeah if anybody knows smoke alarms none of our kids woke up and i'm talking like whoa and i was of course my heart rate with i run and i finally figured i turn off and i remember looking in every room and dead asleep all three whoa dude that's awesome so hopefully that's the case yeah and walker's a good sleeper so i will like he and he's with the exception of like he'll wake up um he will like cry out in his sleep sometimes mommy or daddy and it's so sweet and sad.

1:19:17I think he's just having a dream or something. But with the exception of that, he's not up. So yeah, that's on the horizon for us. And we're like, Ford's dresser arrived today, so we got to get that up in his room and then we're going to start. We got it painted last week. What color, Jugga? It's kind of like a pistachio color. I like that. And we did the thing. That's your hoodie. yeah it's a little it's lighter it's a lighter than this honestly i love oil based oil based paint oh yeah we went actually i mean uh we did it's tie-dye yeah matt went in with the tie stick and he just hit the walls yeah uh we we paint we did the thing where you paint the trim and the ceiling the same color yeah oh nice so um it looks awesome and then we'll be able to start putting things like we've been gathering some things and and uh we'll be able to start like decorating it and we've got a we got a hand-me-down crib from my sister but i'm we want to spray paint it but i'm trying to find like a water-based um like a non-toxic spray i was gonna say yeah you go up there probably good before it's got like a third eye you're like yeah right yeah we're trying to figure out how to paint this thing it's not gonna because every kid i mean Walker at least like eats his crib Yes So like I go up there and there's like chunks taken out Oh yeah What are you doing?

1:20:44Yes I remember taking our crib down For the last time Like we didn't need it Like Livvy was switching to a regular bed And seeing the other side Yeah Of like the part that you wouldn't see Walking up to the crib Yeah And it looked like just a pack of dogs And I'm like What is in my daughter's bloodstream right now? Oh, yeah. Hey, that's McLaughlin DNA right there. What's done is done. We were given the other crib from the Heaths, from Brandon and Steve. Oh, yeah. And they were apologetic and like, yeah, there's some bite marks and stuff. And there weren't that many. I'm like, oh, this is not a big deal.

1:21:24This is sweet. And I got a little wood pin. But, dude, Walker has – I mean, he's put way more in there than they had. you know, like, so there's, I mean, is there anything cuter? Oh my gosh. Then a baby in their onesie or not even a baby like Walker's age now toddler that is standing, just woken up from a nap, smiling, creasy little hair everywhere. Oh, it's the best. I love it. And he's in there warm. Yeah. I miss it. He's really fun in the morning too. He like wakes up, he's like ready to go. And he just starts talking immediately. And, and one of his favorite words is basketball, which sounds like baboo ball.

1:22:06So he's like, baboo ball, baboo ball, baboo ball. And he just starts pointing. And when I get up there, he'll just start pointing things. There's a painted picture of like a cowboy over Walker's dresser. And at one point, he's like, dada, like pointing to the cowboy, like that looks like dada. I'm like, yeah? I'll take a photo of the stash. And then I'm like, I don't know. He's like, mama. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. And now he knows that's funny. He's like, mama. He's saying that the cowboy looks like mama. I'm like, don't say that to your mom. He's already getting into comedy. Yeah, he fully knows what things I think are funny.

1:22:50And he wears it out. He also, this is crazy. I would say as soon as he could start talking, which was maybe at a year, a little bit after a year, he started saying boot and stuff. he pointed to the baby monitor in the room the camera and he said mama pointed to it and says mama he knew that mom was on the other end I didn't know if he was going AI like where things are going I was like god he's so perceptive he's like GPT on the other end of the thing I'm like dude how do you know that I have some hysterical memories about our kids getting busted you know like when they're a little you know like where they're cognizant yeah like hey you know like they drop down the crib and i go to sleep again maybe that's what it is because you can talk yeah yeah and and and like annie's voice it'll scare the dickens out of me sometimes oh god so loud what the heck yeah so um but yeah dude it's uh i would say like there's no I don't think there's like one kid that's like harder than the other it's just like trying to negotiate like navigate and negotiate like the two is a new thing you know it really I mean I know you know this it really does just get better I mean this as you know from Walker like this you are in the depths of the darkest deepest part It's like going into the military.

1:24:28It is. And I can speak with authority on that. Yeah, please speak to this. I came in real hot on that. I was really excited. It's like you go to boot camp, they just break you down. And then slowly you get built back up and you get like tiny bits of like freedom. And like, you know, when they can brush their teeth on their own, you're like, oh, that's one less thing that I have to bend down for. Man, speaking of bending down, John was talking about throwing his back out this week. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so that's one last thing you have to worry about. When you're pumping up a volleyball on fall break, just be careful.

1:25:01Keep the back straight. Gosh, I didn't mind breaking a box out. Are you serious? A cardboard box? Yeah, I was just stomping it. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. This is what's coming. Okay, so tell the people, what's going on? Just read us in. Hey, well. What's on the horizon? I will say there has not been much going on up until. We've been in baby land. We've been in baby land. And I kind of like literally just kind of blocked off the back half of the year because I'm like, I don't know what it's like to have two babies. But one thing that's very, very cool is I'm doing a thing that our friend Steve Moakler started called Song Portraits.

1:25:41and I it is essentially you can make an offer for me to write you a custom song that you can give to someone that you care about so like the offer window is open right now it's open for a total of 10 days and I've got 10 open spots over the next year that I will I'm going to basically I'm taking 10 bids. I will select based on a compelling story and what you offer financially. And I will write and you can find out all the information. There'll be a link on my website, mattwerts.com or on my Instagram. There'll be a link in the bio. So they would give you all the information. I want this for my wife and then you would write the song and record it and we'll also ask reference songs that they like and it's cool because the bass level is guitar vocal and then you can upgrade you can pay a little bit extra and get handwritten lyrics that can be frameable or you can upgrade to a full produced track too.

1:27:13It's a very unique gift. I'm excited by the challenge of writing this way because I'm usually writing really for myself. This will be a fun exercise in writing for someone else. And, yeah, so. Yeah, that's so great. It's, yeah. All those sorority girls that are at UT that are listening, you can have the guy who sang Red Meets Blue. Yeah, you got kids now. Yeah. You're 10 years into your marriage. You know, you want to give your husband an anniversary gift. Like, this is who I want. It's such a great idea. You know, Moakler was out with me last year opening all the shows. And we had a couple really fun conversations about that.

1:28:03And he told me that y 'all were talking. I don't know if y 'all talked yet or y 'all had been into it. It didn't matter. But I was like, Matt Wirtz, you need to tell them because he will have really good ideas about this. And I do think I've had – I definitely have had a fun time looking – I've had a fun time giving feedback on some of their ideas. And I think my feedback has been helpful. But I just double-checked. songportraits.com is also where you can find information. And so the idea is and the thought is for Song Portraits is to have different quote-unquote drops of like, okay, Wurtz is available for this time.

1:28:50And then next month, John's going to have a bid or an offer window open. And then the month of that, you will have it. And so there's a limited window. You have to kind of act on it. But these are all people who have active careers, who have real fan bases, and who have a point of view and a voice that will really contribute to what it is that you want to say. If some of my favorite artists did that, I mean, I would absolutely... Emily Sayers writing a song for Annie. Forget about it. What an unbelievable idea. Yeah. By the way, have you guys watched the Lilith Fair documentary? No. No, but I really want to.

1:29:41I feel like this is the new, like, Billy. Everybody was talking about the Billy Joel documentary. Yep. And then now everybody's talking about this Lilith Fair. I haven't heard anybody talk about it. Is it good? It's amazing. Wow. Well, part of it is the nostalgia factor for me. You are seeing like Sheryl Crow in her just – she's like a little sprite. She's got the like the short haircut. She's like at her peak powers. They're singing. She's singing with Bonnie Raitt. If it makes you happy. One of the best choruses ever written. Dude, I mean like you're – and the Indigo Girls and like just seeing all this behind-the-scenes footage and hearing about just how the Indigo Girls really set this kind of family tone.

1:30:27And that they really ushered in this... Are they going to do it again? I don't know. It feels like this would be... It feels like they should. And it feels like it should be... This would be part of it. Yeah. I mean, I didn't realize that Sarah McLaughlin was the driving force behind it. And Terry McBride, who was Sarah's manager and started Network, who I was managed by for a while and I loved working with, he was the, you know, it was she and him that started that. By the way, it's probably because of this now. I'm putting two together, but two and two together. She's been doing interviews. Sarah McLaughlin looks great.

1:31:04She looks amazing. She looks great. Dude. Honestly. I was so encouraged to see how healthy and happy she looks. Everybody in that documentary looked amazing. That's so great. Yeah. I mean, it's, I don't know. It was just cool. I was smiling. Did you ever go, Did y 'all go to one? No. I never did. And you know why? I'm like, and they kind of address this. There was just kind of a stigma. Especially in the 90s. It felt like you couldn't go. Yeah. It was like, it felt like you couldn't go, even though I loved all the music that was there. I mean, Surfacing is one of my favorite albums of all time.

1:31:39It's so good. I listen to it regularly. I'm going to listen to that again. It's so good. But it was her, Indigo Girls, Sheryl Crow, Lisa Loeb, right? Lisa Loeb, Natalie Merchant. Oh, my gosh. I mean, now, granted, I think they kind of had a rotate because not the same. But then Indy Aurea would be on some. Missy Elliott was on the last year. Wow. They had – I mean, it was just like the who's – if you were – and it was also a very specific time where Liz Phair was on there. It was just the pretenders. Yep. It was just Dave Matthews He wakes up in the mouth How about sharing a glove from everybody?

1:32:23Nobody knows what's going on here By the way, do we think We're about to experience a Dave Matthews Where we're just Into Dave again? Bro, I'm there Here's the thing I have these headphones That I use when I swim But I can't stream I had money. Geez. Yeah, you're talking about your hoodie. Let me top you with these headphones. Friggin' swimmable headphones. But I can't use, I can't stream. So I have to use only things that I've bought on iTunes. Oh, my gosh. So that is Sarah McLachlan and Dave Matthews, basically. I've got Love and the Remains. Oh, my gosh. I've got on there because I have that on iTunes.

1:33:13So I love it. So I'm listening to like all these records that I listened to back in like the late 90s, early 2000s. And that's where you're swimming too. Yeah. So you just get out of the pool and you want Mountain Dew and Pizza Hut. You're like, does anybody have any Doritos? I don't know why. And I want to go rent a movie. I'm just. Oh my gosh. And have Dave and Matt over to spend the night. Yes. You guys want to sleep in a dorm room? And get some diesels. I want to go to Goodwill and get the tightest shirt possible. Yeah, for my bell-bottom jeans. Oh, man. In the fur, you know what I'm saying?

1:33:49Matty, we love you. Thanks for coming on. Love you, words. Bye.

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