"Letting go is a byproduct of acceptance" (Meera Lee Patel bonus episode)

0:00Radim Malinic:Welcome to this bonus episode of the Daring Creativity Podcast. This is where I revisit the interview published earlier in the week, providing me with the opportunity to zoom in on a few standout moments for extra value and meaning. I take time to digest the goodness my guests share with me every single week. And this week I was chatting with Meera Lee Patel and I enjoyed every single moment of our conversation. Mira is a best-selling author, illustrator and a creative soul who is devoting her time to pursue artistic expression and share her philosophies with the world. Our conversation focused on the theme of her new book, Learn to Let Go, a journal for new beginnings.

0:40Radim Malinic:My conversation with Mira very much focused on how to let go of the person you used to be, how to find self-acceptance and how you cannot escape yourself. the one that keeps coming to the forefront of my mind right now is that you cannot escape yourself so everything that you want to accomplish all the people that you want to be they all start with the person you are now and that means having to look at yourself having to listen to yourself and having to accept yourself and who you are in this moment, if you ever hope to grow and become more. I think that's the one that keeps coming back to me over and over again, is this is who I am now, so where do I go from here?

1:29Radim Malinic:In this first standout moment, we talk about a quote that cuts through decades of self-help mythology that suggests that we can completely reinvent ourselves by rejecting our past. Miros inside is psychologically grounded. Authentic change requires integration, not escape. The power lies in recognizing that growth builds upon existing foundations rather than require you to demolish them. This perspective reduces the exhausting cycle of self-rejection that many creatives and professionals experience when they compare their current selves to idealized future versions. Just have a think how many times you thought to yourself, I'll be happy when XYZ happens.

2:13Radim Malinic:You see, that's how we get stuck. So the number one, which I think I mentioned already, is that letting go is a byproduct of acceptance. That is the number one thing I learned while writing this book. You cannot let go without accepting what is. In the second stand-up moment, I loved how Mira connected the ability to let go with self-acceptance. As you may know on the show, I talk about a lot of self-acceptance as part of my new book, where I'm very much focusing on the experience of how doubling down on who we are, accepting who we are really helps with everything. You know, feelings on comparison, competition, they just fall away straight away.

3:02Radim Malinic:So most people approach letting go as an active process, something to force or to achieve through willpower whereas mirror revealed that counterintuitive truth that letting go is actually passive emerging naturally from acceptance of present circumstances and this insight is particularly powerful for parents career changes or anyone facing unwanted transitions because rather than fighting reality energy can be redirected towards understanding and accepting what is, which paradoxically creates space for what's next to emerge. I had to come up with a system where I am acknowledging the person, where they are in their life, the emotions, whether it is pain, gratitude, whatever they're feeling.

3:53But I also had to learn to detect. I had to learn that I am not necessarily responsible for solving this person's predicament, that I am not the best person to tell them what to do. That is not my role. And that took quite a while to feel comfortable because I really wanted to express gratitude to all of my readers and for especially people who take the time to write to me. I didn't want them to feel forgotten. I didn't want them to feel that I did not read their message. I did not care. But at the same time, their safety and their well-being were more important than what they got of me. And so I had to make sure that in my response, that is what I was prioritizing, their well-being, not their image of me.

4:51Radim Malinic:So throughout our conversation, Mira mentioned quite a few times how she's created a best-selling book which is something that everyone celebrates some people really strive to create but Mira's book was very much an honest journal which she created to help herself by releasing it out there and getting feedback from readers and she was successful so much that she sold more than a million copies of that book it's created a huge feedback in a way good and bad because she wasn't prepared that when you create a book that's meant to help people they will also come back with more questions and more requirements and this moment kind of addresses a critical boundary issue when it affects creators leaders and helpers of pretty much all kind because mira identified a hidden ego trap in wanting to save others often it's about maintaining our own image rather than truly serving them.

5:58Radim Malinic:Her prioritization of others' well-being over her reputation demonstrates her mature leadership. She told me how much she sort of had to learn how to deal with the stream of information coming to her after she published the book because this perspective she's created is essential for anyone whose work involves vulnerability and helping others it prevents both burnout and the danger of overreach of playing therapists without proper training it's kind of master class in separating genuine service from people pleasing putting work out there that really matters that you want your soul to connect with the others can create all sorts of connections and sometimes people need more help than just a book and it's impossible to try to help everyone and it's also important to look after yourself.

6:52It's okay to become somebody new. It's okay to let parts of myself go so that new parts of myself can bloom. And the third is not to live from a place of desperation. And what I mean by that is not to hold on so tightly because I think this will never be again. Something new is always coming. Something greater is always coming. And it reminds me of a John Steinbeck quote that I love, which I probably will misremember right now, but it's something like, if it's right, it will happen. Nothing good gets away. And I feel like that sentiment really sums up acceptance and letting go and the period of my life that this book came from.

7:52Feeling like I had lost so much, but the truth was that it was all building and I just couldn't see it yet. and that's okay you're not always going to see it you just have to accept and believe that if it's good it's not going to get away it's going to come throughout the conversation mira told me that she had to let go of the person she used to be and she told me that she was missing the old person

8:19Radim Malinic:that she used to be even though that person wasn't perfect in many ways but she thought about that she actually misses it. In this moment from our conversation she gave herself a permission for identity flexibility, the healthy ability to evolve rather than clinging to outdated self concepts. And this is particularly relevant in a world that often shames people for changing their minds, careers or life directions. The metaphor of Blumen suggests organic growth rather than forced transformation. She changed very much through parenting. As a mother, she couldn't hang on to the person she used to be.

9:02Radim Malinic:And this could reduce the shame that many feel when they outgrow previous versions of themselves. For creative professionals especially, this quote validates the natural evolution that comes with developing mastery and life experiences. I feel very lucky that the guests I would like to have on my show say yes to me and they come and talk to me and they spare an hour of their time and really go deep and vulnerable in the way of sharing what really matters because one of the reasons why I started my podcast was to have these honest transparent nosy curious conversations with people that we love and admire to find out how they operate because I think it's important more than ever to really share truth and honesty in our industry, in our society, because that's how we grow.

9:58Radim Malinic:And I can only thank Mira for her time and for her openness through our conversation. And if you haven't checked out the full conversation yet, I can only suggest you do that next. Thanks for joining me on this episode and I'll see you on the next one.