How to Work With a Builder with Erin Stetzer

0:00Hello, welcome to Dear Alice. We have a really exciting episode for you today. We interviewed Erin Stetzer, a Houston-based home builder, and we talk about a lot of things. Yeah, we talk about her insight on relationships with the architects and builders and God. I'll say her standards, like what she holds herself and her team to and her process. And how every single detail counts and her commitment to perfection. Guys, let's get into it. So, hey, Erin, welcome to the podcast. And where do we find you today? Are you in home base in Houston or? Yes. Home base in Houston. Yes. Love it. So we heard this crazy stat.

0:36We learned that only about 4.3 of builders in the United States are women. And that's according to the National Association of Home Builders. So between that and then you being a D1 basketball player, I feel like your tenacity is off the charts. Who helped you build that? Where does that come from, that tenacity and confidence. 4.2 % women. Isn't that crazy? You can literally schedule your entire day around your family. That's what I've done my entire career. So it's kind of surprising to me that it's a little secret. So way more women need to get into this. Especially because I feel like women are better multitaskers usually.

1:17And being a builder, you have to be so organized and just able to think of 10 things at once that should just be a thing from that in addition to just communication so any of you women listeners out there that you're at all have an itch to be a builder this field's built for you like as far as communication that's what you're so good at as far as not gatekeeping and the more information we share the best builders that I like we've ever worked with are the ones that talk and are curious and want to learn like you mentioned the Instagram thing and I'll have to say 80 to 90 percent of what I've ever learned in this construction world is from designers like you guys and architects, literally, and trades.

1:54Yeah, more women definitely need to hop into this. And I think if there's maybe an intimidation factor there. When I was in college, I was a finance major. I knew nothing. And in fact, I worked in corporate America for a little bit. Knew nothing about construction. It was just pure excitement. And this is really cool. And everybody around me is good at answering questions so we can learn. So definitely more women. We need more women. And I will say too, in terms of multitasking and, you know, if there's a genetic thing there, but I would think there would be just because women have babies and everything bubbles up at one time.

2:33And you like literally are built that way. I think as a female, not that men aren't, I think it's just, that's the way women are built. We're putting out a lot of fires. Yeah. And kind of touching on your depth of knowledge, I pride myself on kind of knowing as much as I can about as many different topics. Following your Instagram is insane. You're so inspiring. Just everything you know and how you're able to like kind of play chess in the building game. You think steps ahead and how the finished product is going to operate, especially when considering, you know, X, Y, and Z. Follow Erin. It's Erin Stetzer Homes.

3:09So at Erin Stetzer Homes on Instagram. Is that right? Yes. Yep. You got it. So good. So Aaron, are you exclusively building in the Houston area? So our primary business is in Houston, Texas, but we also consult on projects as homeowner reps. Those projects are sprinkled throughout the country. And that's a different role where we come in and we try to help put the right team together based on the client's goals and the project goals. There are a few that we're building as the builder, But the key there is we partner up with a project manager that's local, that's probably been around for 20 years, understands the culture, the teams, the budgets, deeply rooted in the construction in that community.

3:57That's amazing. That is amazing. I've never heard of anybody doing that. You're like a brokerage. Yeah. I feel like we make everything up, literally. People are like, what do you do? I'm like, I don't know. We'll figure it out today. This is what they need. We always say we build it while we fly it. Yeah. Yes. Yes. You kind of have to though. So I have a question and I think this will be good for anybody that's going to be building in the future or I would say any designers that are working on a project. What do you think, how soon should you get started with a builder or a designer before you break ground?

4:29Somebody wants to build in, let's just say the Houston area, you're going to be the builder. How much time will you spend together before you break ground? There are a couple of different components here. If anyone comes to us, like as the builder, we immediately say, hey, thanks for talking. Let's try to figure out who your architect and designer are. That's the immediate response because the mapping and the vision and the energy needs to be created in that home and the vision. And that's typically not with the builder. The builder is the, here's the project. These are the goals. Like Corey said, put the chess pieces together and figure out how to map this thing out.

5:09That's part one. Part two is if they were to say, hey, when should we hire our architect or designer? And it could be designer first, then architect, could be architect and designer. Right away, as soon as you can put that team together, then the next entry could be builder. Then the next entry could be landscape architect and consultants. I think the hesitation from clients is there's really no book or formula out there that really gives you the go to recipe. And so you really depend heavily on designers' work, architects' work, builders' work. Yeah, you should write that book. Yeah, definitely.

5:46As far as a game plan. For our firm, we used to say we would love to get started at least six months before they break ground. There's just so much. You've really got to know that design. And also for you to have accurate bids, to have all of the materials dialed in, those cabinetry drawings. it's funny that people think they can break ground and then make the selections once it's framed and they understand it or something so even if people aren't per se using a designer or something like that you're if you do wait until the home's framed you're really only able to choose from what's in stock and probably what's in stock is going to be their best sellers which are kind of like phoned in finishes and not anything really special or spectacular so you're really just kind of forfeiting the game almost if you're waiting until a home is framed to make decisions.

6:36I would say 100%. Yeah, I would say that's probably where like regret comes into. You're like, ah, I was like under the gun to make that decision. I wish I would have had more time to make a better one. I guess the more runway you can give yourself, the better it's going to turn out and the less regret you're going to have. And the level of complexity of the project requires There's iterations of making sure it works, talking to the builder and the architect, like so many iterations. And that does take time and it takes people huddling up. Six months at a minimum. It's often a lot longer. But I think that there is like a sweet spot depending on the client.

7:11You're probably really good at reading people, the complexity of their personalities, if they're fast decision maker, if they're going to get paralyzed by time. Because some clients, if they have too much time to sit on it, it changes 10 times. So as far as just like overall trust of the team, kind of getting all the players together. Yeah, you actually bring up a really good point that each team member, architect, designer, builder, has a special relationship with the client. And it's different. A lot of times you'll notice something or we'll notice something, but I'm not the right person to actually influence or provide information to then be able to move forward.

7:50And so, so many of these meetings would be like, this is what I noticed. This is what we need. Could y 'all talk to them about this? And sometimes it's boom, this is what needs to happen. And everybody agrees. It's interesting in home building and in construction. There's this feeling like, oh, I can easily figure this out. And it's kind of the norm, a little casual about it, but it's just the opposite. There's extreme professionalism. The meetings that you're trying to present something in a design form, there's a vision and there's a process to close the loop on that vision. And it may take a few stops and it may take one stop.

8:30It's a disservice to the client. And so that's why it requires so much time in advance to work through it. Yep. If you're about to build, really, you've got to spend that time before the build begins to get there and close those loops so that you can just be really excited about the build. Because otherwise you do compromise. There's a lot of compromise that happens, be it budget, be it time, be it something. So I think that that's really good for clients to know. You owe it to yourself. This is such a massive investment to give yourself the time and knowledge to understand what it would cost.

9:01And then you can back up. But like, what would your ideal cost? And then kind of back it up versus not realizing it to its full potential if you're going to do it. Yes. And that budget is global. It's not just construction, right? It's furniture, lighting, landscaping, wall coverings. Drapery. So there's a global, there's storage of furniture. All of that is a global conversation that just needs to be had up front so that maybe my role is not to eat into what wants to be protected, which is the furniture budget. And I need to be responsible and say, I'm aware of the budgets here. but we need to be mindful.

9:45If this is a budget that you want to preserve in furnishing, we need to really think about this other, do you really want high gloss in this room? Do you want to really want to add$25 ,000 to this room? I do love that you talked about protecting each other's lane. And when you have a good team, they're protecting each other's lane on behalf of the client. That's a responsible team. Yeah. I love that. I think one of the best skills a builder can have is knowing how to have those hard conversations. Cause I feel like they're at every step of the build process. In your experience, what have you found works the best to have, you know, hard conversations or be direct with clients?

10:21What I've learned is they, they want options. Let's just say we're having a team meeting and one of our project managers is running through move-in, timing of move-in. Cause that's the biggest one. When are we moving in? And then there's a client saying, I don't care what you guys think. I'm moving in that date. I think it happens on every project. Yeah. And the key there is to present, okay, if that is the case, this is the risk. This is what we're looking at. And I want to walk you through that. So we're all on the same understanding. We're still going to be putting hardware in some of the rooms.

10:54The carpet will be installed later. We probably can't show up until nine. You know, the kids are off to want to get them to school. You have a routine, but we need to leave by three because you don't want a bunch of people in the house with your kids. There's a whole thing that needs to be talked about. That's option one. Then there's option two, then there's option three. And that goes across the board every, even on the lighter conversation. So we do want to be direct, but through options. You're basically just painting the picture for them in each option. Like this is, if you choose this, this is what life is going to look like.

11:26And I think what happens during, you know, the middle, everyone's excited in the beginning. Then there's the middle, you know, the painters are painting, it's taking forever. And people are just, they're tired, right? Like you're working super hard making decisions with them and they're just tired. I'll bet anyone listening who's on a project can literally identify when people are exhausted. They're cooked. And that's the time the team needs to recognize it and elevate this so that they do have energy to make decisions to get to the closing line. This is the question that everyone wants to know.

12:02And it's, you know, really the hardest to nail down. It's because it's a moving topic. but in your area and demographic, what's like price per square foot? Like what's your range that you're in currently? Well, so Houston's a huge, like 6 million people or something. Whoa. I did not know it was that big. It is. Texas big, y 'all. Just Houston. My gosh. So, and Houston expands, you know, you know, an hour outside of the city. So we'll see homes at$150 a square foot, you know, basic homes, you know, to$3 ,000 a square foot generally. And we'll see small jewel boxes that will be, you know, two or$3 ,000 a square foot, or we'll see small homes at$150 a square foot.

12:49And it's very, very confusing for people here because you hear this huge range and it's like, why? Like, I don't get that. And so that, So that's a really important conversation to explain. There are different types of construction. There's production home building, you know, where they build neighborhoods. And then there's semi-custom. Move a few walls. Then there's custom. Then there's luxury. Superwoman, Superman luxury, right? And so there are these tiers that people, it's a good idea to just share what's involved in each of those types of builds. At David Weekly Homes, when I started there, in-house designers, you get three selections.

13:32Builder just schedules and goes. Everybody's lined up. Some of my biggest problem with builders and real estate agents is that a lot of times they try to compare apples to oranges. It's all fruit we're talking about, but really they're different. And a lot of the message that especially real estate agents, I'm not talking bad on anyone, but give is just like, oh yeah, this home, like you said, is$150 a square foot. Well, that doesn't mean you can get everything that you want within$150 a square foot. And it's really doing a disservice to the people that are looking into building. Because at that point, you start realizing everything you can't have if you're trying to put your wishes in$150 a square foot box.

14:14It just becomes like, here, look at everything that you can't put in your home at that point. And that's very discouraging. It's insulting. Yeah, it really is. For sure. Yeah. So how do you handle that when, let's just say there's a nice budget, but they still feel like they're not getting what they want? How do you handle that? We're kind of going through that right now in a Park City home and it's a remodel. It does seem like it should be a nice budget. But as you know, since COVID, what would be a nice budget and what the numbers are today is like funny money. The prices are just so crazy. And so if you haven't been building a home in the last five years or so, then you think your nice budget is a nice budget.

14:54It's a hard conversation to say, well, you know what? Maybe we won't do all the things that you want to do, but here's what we can do with the budget. And I like what you're saying about options because then people feel like they have great choices to make rather than just saying you've come up short you know that that never feels good to be able to to say you can't do everything you want I think being able to provide more just being able to provide options of what they can do with their budget is good but it is probably disappointing to them that they can't have everything they want on this beautiful second home so yeah we're navigating that with them right now and I love your advice of giving options I think that feels really good yeah and probably communication right just like just communication yeah and and I think um we talked about this a little bit when we spoke to you once before just about how some of those harder conversations are just best just to talk on the phone and not just share it in an email but to really sort through it and you can really feel tone and concern and care and you can tell that they're trying to get curious and come up with with a plan and ways and it's not you have to have the answer right in the moment It's just that you say, okay, let me go back to the drawing board now and think about some more solutions, you know, to make this work within the budget.

16:07You know, we've probably had many rounds of that. But when we think back like 10 years ago, it was kind of a scary conversation to have. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And so the way, I'd be interested to see how you guys have worked through that. The way that I ended up having to work through it was two ways. One with, with five kids and a husband, I literally don't have time. Yeah. So it has to be like, there's that sense of urgency. Yeah. Right. Like it just, we just got to hit it. Yeah. But then the second part when I'm really nervous, I'd be like, okay, I'm really nervous to talk to you right now. My voice is gonna be a little weird.

16:44I'm a little nervous. You're going to hear that. Can I talk to you about it? They hold the weight then they literally hold it maybe for people who haven't had a lot of those conversations and haven't been trained, like I say no to my kids 15 times a day, that it's normal, but they may not have had these. So my thought would be just, just let them know you're nervous talking about it. You don't always have the right answers and you need their, need to talk through it. How do you guys handle that? I'm just going to say, I love that you're all a problem solver at that point. They're trying to help you.

17:14You're trying to help them to answer that question. Just in addition to how do we solve for those things when they come to us with what, what is a nice budget is exactly what you're saying is the options tell you like what it would cost to do all the things that you want we can look at that let's understand the team's capabilities let's understand who is your builder who are using for cabinets who are using for these i can talk shorthand to them you know and then they can do shop drawings and we can work in tandem to reduce hours here or the builder just like again be having a really honest conversation i'm nervous about these numbers a little bit but let's get on the same page and see what numbers are coming in you know in your area or roofing and windows versus like this is what I'm seeing I think when clients see that you everybody wants this project to be beautiful we all want to capture it at the end of the day and see it on a glossy page there's no doubt about that we want them to be happy but the sooner that you can get on the same page with your team builder architect designer and understand what things maybe are phase one phase two phase three if that's where you need to work or understanding realistic this is what you want this is actually what it'll cost and we'll do our darndest to be responsible with your money.

18:18One question I do have for you in all these different things that you have done in your career, you know, from beginning a spec home to now what you do as a custom builder, I want to know what lights you up when it comes across your desk, or maybe it has it and you want this project. What are you so excited about when it comes across your desk? And you're just like, all right, buckle up. We're going in. Yeah. So, okay. So I have this thing in the mornings where I go through, I happen to pray and I ask a lot of questions and I'm like, Hey God, what would you, what do you think if we get this project?

18:50And, you know, we've turned pricing in and what do you think? And, you know, I may, I don't get answers till it's time. But one of the questions is, what do you think about doing something I have? I've, There's no way I can predict this, but I'd be so excited if it happened. What could that look like? And I just kind of go through that a lot. And what has happened in the business is things are getting developed in ways I didn't think could be developed, whether it be a certain project or working with a certain person or developing a whole new system for something. That's the daily. So to answer your question, I get excited about whatever God throws at me because I know if it's thrown my way and I give it 150%, it's going to be good.

19:47I love when God shows up in our lives. It's co-signed. It is. Yes. It really is. So there's that belief that early mornings, late nights, tough conversations are good. They stretch you and it feels like you wouldn't be interested in this calling if you would, if you weren't stretched. Because Aaron Stetzer just does hard things. Yeah. And you deal with them well. Yeah, you do. Because you're not alone. And your Instagram is full of really hard won things. Division won things. Yeah, yeah. You just, you go the extra mile. And so you're pointing it out on your Instagram about how you achieved it.

20:23What's the right way to do it? And you're like, anybody else would have used a normal hinge, but not Erin. She's using Harmon hinges. You're going the extra mile on all of it. And that's what makes your content so great is that you're seeing the right way to do something the hard way, the hard one details. And none of it's, you can't phone any of it in. So anyway, it's, that's why it's such a great follow. Well, thank you. That kind of goes back to like that tenacity question that I had you too, is I think that you just have, you know, obviously like have a faith and that you understand that building is kind of a microcosm, you know, analogy for life.

20:55You're going to come go through a lot of hard things, but they're really there to service you to get to the best ending possible. So really take a hard situation and let it enrich your outcome. You answered my question just from answering other questions about like your tenacity and confidence is that you just, you look at a hard situation, something seemingly impossible as an opportunity to grow, which is fantastic. One thing about my family is that we're water people. All of our vacations are centered around the beach. And this year we got the new classic stripe resort towel from Cozy Earth.

21:31And it's our favorite. It's oversized 40 inches by 70 inches. It's quick dry, plush, and like everything else, Cozy Earth has a soft hand. We bought the Wave Colorway. It has a great classic look and it's a must pack for any beach vacation. Made from viscose from bamboo. Breathable, soft, and built for summer. Head to CozyEarth.com and use our code DEARALICE for an exclusive 20 % off. That's code DEARALICE for an exclusive 20 % off. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Erin, are there any standards that you refuse to compromise on in a build?

22:13We have a saying, tell the truth, tell it fast, shovel while the piles are small. We say it all the time. So telling the truth is always number one. And it sounds so crazy to say that at a business level, but it's a good reminder that, you know, I still have their back. I just want the truth. Because you know what to do with the truth. You don't really know what to do with a lie. Exactly. You know how to maneuver. That's right. We have systems that are non-negotiable. There's a scorecard. Like when you get hired at this company, I show you the scorecard. Here it is. This is what you have to do to be a part of this team for your teammates.

22:53If at any point in time you can't do these things, we got to talk. So they're very clear about the systems that we have in play. And they're also really good about openly giving feedback to improve the system. So that would be another standard. We have an intern here this year. He's going to be a senior at Texas A &M. And we were talking yesterday and I'm like, how's it going? And he goes, well, I learned that you have standards. And I was like, really? How did you? What happened? He's like, I came in to check on something for Taylor. I was supposed to deliver something and put it in the kitchen sink, but I was in a hurry and I left it over there.

23:31she made me go back, go pick up the thing, go put it in the sink and send me a video.

23:41That's a standard. Like if you say you're going to do something, you do it. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's one thing. That's one thing I wish like a lot of people, I'm that type of person. I don't know. I think I've always just been that way at my core. If I say I'm going to do something, I just go to the end of the earth to do it because I guess my word is my bond type of thing. And I, yeah, I appreciate that in other people. The world needs more of it. Yeah. And there's a buffer zone too. If you have an eight o 'clock meeting and you're running late for whatever reason, yes, you have to be on time or early, but things happen.

24:11The standard is just give them a heads up. Exactly. The communication. Right. So we're all, there's the human part here. I have a question along those lines. When do projects go off track in your opinion? So if the team architect, designer, builder and the client are not aligned in any small way or form or shape, that's the honeymoon. It's going to get worse. There are projects where we think we have the team, the client brings something up and there's an exit by one party. The second part is, at least in the building world, you have to, and I know I'm screaming systems, in order to capture information, organize the information, communicate the information, execute on it, and then check the work.

24:57That is the system of building. And if any of those stops are missed, it becomes a problem for the designers or it becomes a problem for the client and it becomes everybody else's problem. that practice, just those steps. If a builder can do just those steps, you're in the top 1%. Our responsibility is to be helpful to designers and architects. If I'm putting weight on you guys, then that's not good. We had a project go sideways where alignment wasn't in check when the husband wasn't interested in being a part of the project. So the wife was the decision maker on the project. We designed for their life, their experience, their travels.

25:41Very, very well-renowned architect. Extraordinary. This was an extraordinary home. We did the entire design of the home with the wife, and then we showed the design to the husband, the architect. The architect did not like it. He wanted this architectural feat, more sterile, less storytelling. we were the ones that got pushed eject on from the project. We were essentially fired from the architect and the husband because neither of them were involved in the design process, didn't want to be, but then once the home was completed, which they didn't show any interest in the design portion of it, didn't have time for it.