Kate Winslet, actor

24:28And I'd got the part! Kate from Reading got the leading part in a film and it was just incredible, my God And I remember just running home in the rain, not getting the bus at all and going and telling everybody. And we just none of us could believe it. None of us could believe it. And it really was the beginning of everything. Yes, everything changed after that. Everything changed. You spent four months filming in New Zealand. I did. How was it? What was it like being on an actual film set? It was just magic. It was just absolute magic. The people were so wonderful and they were so kind. And of course, I was terrified.

25:09But I loved every second of it. I loved the discipline of it, the structure, the getting up early, the going to work. I'd fall asleep every night excited about the next day. And I still do. I still do that now when I'm filming something. I go to sleep feeling like I've got a secret. And I've got to wake up in the middle of the night to go to work and make a project with my friends that might be something interesting. And I just get that buzz still today. I get exactly the same. So your next film, Kay, after Heavenly Creatures, was Sense and Sensibility. Emma Thompson had adapted the screenplay, Ang Lee was directing.

25:43Now, you've been asked to read for the part of Lucy Steele, but that quiet determination that you were talking about kicked in again and you hatched a cunning plan. Well, I have had two agents throughout my entire career. So my wonderful, wonderful, darling British agent, Dallas Smith, I've been with him since I was 15 years old, and I'm still with him to this day. And he, along with a brilliant Irish woman named Hilda Queely, who is my American agent, they just had plans for me. And I'd gone to LA, I think, to do some publicity for Heavenly Creatures and I would have been 18 at the time that the film actually came out and was meeting this crazy Irish woman who had taken me on and she said, now, I want you to listen.

26:31and this is her sort of Irish-American twang that she has. I want you to listen to me, Kate. There's a script that's come in. It's written by Emma Thompson and she is going to be playing the Eleanor Dashwood role and there's a role of Marianne, the sister, which you're too young for the part, but they want to meet you for the character of Lucy Steele. Now, I think between you and I, we should cook up a plan where you're going to go in and you're going to pretend that you didn't get the memo and you're going to prepare two or three select scenes to read for the Marianne part and you're just going to go in there and you're just going to smash it.

27:03And I was like, OK, brilliant, great, OK, excellent. So that's what I did. I selected three scenes as though I had been told to learn them. And I was ready and I went in and the producer, Lindsay Duran, turned to me and said, so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for coming. So we'd like to read scene. It's the scene when Lucy and Eleanor have the conversation about Edward. and I said, oh, Lucy, I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry, I think I got the wrong information. I prepared for the Marianne role. I could go outside and learn the lines for the other scene. Oh, no, that's OK. Really embarrassed, didn't know what to do.

27:44Let me read for the Marianne part! Yes! Get in! So I read for the role and then back in London I was asked to go and meet Ang Lee and Emma was there and that's the first time I met Emma. And I was 19. And I remember I was wearing a blue top. And we sat together on chairs in front of a camera because they were filming the audition. And she said to me, do you know what? I've got a blue T-shirt on underneath my jumper. It might be good to make our skin colour look similar. And I thought, oh, my God, you're so lovely. She really wanted me to get this part. And, yeah, I was I was pretty bloody scared.

28:20But Emma was such a source of strength and warmth and inspiration for me. and her kindness with the other actors and with the crew was the first time I'd really experienced what it's like to be a leader in that capacity and I learnt a huge, huge amount from her. A huge amount from her. Kate, it's time to go to the music. It's your fifth choice today. Tell us what's next. Well, this one really does make me cry and when I was preparing for Mare of Easttown and I was in Philadelphia staring down the barrel of a rather terrifying gun thinking how the hell am I supposed to pull this off? I just can't do it.

29:00And because I had to really build for myself this interior world of a woman who was processing so much terrible grief and shame at the loss of her son by suicide, I had to reach for anything I could that put me straight into that emotional place when I needed to be in it. and Nivole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi is for me so triggering for some reason the sparseness of it, the poetry of it the way it's not just an instrument but it's a means of pushing emotion that can transport a person truly to another place and so this song I used consistently throughout the shooting of Mare to the point that now when I hear it I just absolutely lose it.

29:57It's an utterly extraordinary work.

30:16Thank you.

31:03Ludovico Inaudi and Nuvole Bianchi. A hugely powerful piece for you, Kate Winslet. I didn't read a single review of Mare. I don't read reviews at all. is part of how I survive, I think. But people would actually come up to me in the street and just cry. I remember a parking attendant, I'd park my car in Petersfield to go to the opticians, and this female parking attendant came up to me and she said, it is you, isn't it? And I said, I think it might be. And she just started to cry. She said, meh. And that was all she said. And then she told me that I was on a double yellow line. Well, you didn't have your glasses on, Kate.

31:44Open in the showcase, come on. I can't hold it against you. Didn't have my glasses on. Silly me. Kate, I want to ask you about another part that has resonated with viewers down the years. This is Rose in Titanic. Obviously a huge moment for you. 1997, it was your breakthrough role. It was, at that point, the most successful film ever made. Two billion dollars at the box office, 11 Academy Awards. This is like global stardom. It's a completely different level. What did it mean for your day to day life? I didn't want to be famous, Lauren. I really didn't. I know it sounds so daft, but it's not necessarily an easy path to walk and to stay sane and hang on to your sense of self and who you are.

32:31And my whole world was totally turned upside down through being in Titanic. I have, of course, so much to be grateful for. And the experience of making the film was incredible. But I wasn't ready for that world. I still mentally actually wasn't particularly in good shape around my body. Yeah, you were only because what age were you then? I was 20 and I turned 21 on that shoot. I wasn't in a particularly good place around my physical self at all. Jim Cameron actually did something really fantastic, which I realised in hindsight was something I'm so grateful for. He said to me, you need to be really strong, Kate.

33:09You know, I know you have stamina, but a level of physical fitness will really help you to take on this big seven month shoot. And they got me a personal trainer and I've never had a personal trainer since. I have to add that right away. And I did think, well, this is very Hollywood. Oh, my God. OK, but I actually loved the discipline of it. I had to get up at five and or even earlier. You know, if we were on a weird schedule, I'd be up at three and then I'd be working out by five. And I would think, OK, this is just the way it is on this film. And then I'm just going to go back to my normal life afterwards, which is precisely what I did do.

33:37But having an awareness of my own strength and my physical self, it made me panic less about the food. I was still a bit of a mess around that for a while after. So you can imagine, Lauren, how appalling it was when the British media started calling me awful, terrible, actually abusive names. going into shops and asking shopkeepers what I'd bought, going through my bins to look for my shopping receipts to try and figure out what diet I was on or wasn't on. It was an utter disgrace and shame on every single one of them. And thank God they don't do that now. Thank God. Because that was horrible.

34:24I just felt like I couldn't walk down the street without seeing myself on the cover of The Sun or The Daily Mail or the news of the world. It was horrific. There were people tapping my phone. They were just everywhere. And I was just on my own. I was terrified to go to sleep. I mean, it was really, you know, and I say this, and I would hate people to ever think, oh, God, stop whinging. But it really was quite scary. How did you deal with it? I had a handful of really wonderful friends. and my neighbours where I lived were named Giorgio and Plaxy. And Giorgio later on in his life now is the great Giorgio Locatelli.

35:10The chef. The chef. They just happened to be my neighbours. And Plaxy, she just looked after me and she would ring and she'd say, Babe, they're out there again. Listen, Giorgio's just made a lovely pasta and he's come home with half a bottle of red wine. I'm going to pop some on the garden wall, OK? And I would go, thank you. And I'd go to the garden wall and there would be a little bowl of steaming pasta and a little glass of red wine. And I had someone looking after me. And it meant the world to know that someone was there. Kate, I think we should go to the music. What's next and why are you taking it with you to your desert island?

35:52we just love radio head in our house but that love began in about 2007 2008 I don't even know specifically but that was a time in my life when the kids were young Joe was maybe three Mia was six something like that and I was married to Sam Mendes and we lived in New York we lived in Manhattan and we had a small place in Connecticut and so at the weekends we would drive out there. But when it was clear that our marriage wasn't going to continue, I started obviously being on my own with the children much more. And we would listen to it in the car, just me and the kids. And we would drive out to Connecticut at the weekends.

36:36And I just think it gave me a real feeling of, yes, I can do this. I can actually do this being on my own thing with my children. And also protection of my children too, at that stage, because I was being followed by paparazzi in New York City with my two small kids who wanted to, of course, know the reason why Sam and I had split up. You know, all those things that people really dig into. And it was a marriage that wasn't meant to be and sadly broke down. And he's a fantastic person. How have you dealt with that kind of intrusion, though? I mean, someone following you with your kids in the street asking you why your marriage didn't work out.

37:09I mean, how do you even begin to respond to the question? You just keep your mouth closed. You put your head down, Lauren, and you keep walking and you try and put your hands over your children's ears. You lean on your friends, you just keep going. A good meal, a shared conversation, nice cup of coffee. Yeah, a bit of radio head and a good poo, you know? Life's all the better for those things, don't you think? Ha ha!

37:50They tell me

37:57Why should I stay here? Such a great tune! Love that. It's so good. Radiohead and Weird Fishers arpeggie. Kate, you've just turned 50 and you've got a very positive approach to ageing. You've taken publications to task for digitally altering your image in the past. Why was it important to you to call them out? If we don't, we are just stuffed. And it really bothered me when I realised as a young woman that magazines had the ability to alter an image. I didn't sign up for that. I didn't say you could take my photograph and then do whatever the hell you want with it. Absolutely not. and I also realised that nobody else was calling them out on it.

38:44And so I did, not in an aggressive way, but just saying, I don't look like this. My stomach isn't flat like that. My legs are not that long. My boobs are not that big. What? My arms aren't that toned. What the hell? It wasn't right to me. I didn't want any young woman, any young woman, even just one, to look at that image and think, oh my God, I want to look like that. That's not me. Don't want to look like me. want to look like you, want to be who you are. And so that's the same message I've always tried to give. And I think that's why, you know, I live my life with intention and integrity, having a face that moves.

39:24I have to, that's also how I do my job. You know, I want to play characters who have wrinkles and crow's feet and a face that's changing with age and a body that's moving with the passing decades. That's life. There's so much we still have to unlearn, actually, men and women, about how we speak to women in film and actresses and female directors. There are things that have been said to me as a female director that would never be said to my male counterpart. Just the way someone might phrase something. So they might say things like, you know, don't forget to be confident, you know, in your choices.

40:00And I want to sort of say, They don't talk to me about confidence because if that's one thing I haven't ever lacked, actually, is exactly that. That person wouldn't say that to a man. Don't forget to have your confidence. Shut up. And has your own perspective changed? It makes me sound really aggressive. But, you know, it's just a little internal fire that ever so often, you know, gets ignited by things that occur. And then I'm able to calmly say to that person, you know, you can, there's a different way of phrasing that. You know, it's worth thinking about it. Let's go to the music. Your seventh selection today.

40:36What are you taking to the island next? so this is Blue Ridge Mountains by Fleet Foxes and in about 2010 2011 I had a really wonderful holiday on a boat with a group of friends there were about 12 of us in total and my dearest dearest friend Emma her name is Emma but we call her Lemon because when Joe was little one day he said excuse me Lemon and he called her Lemon instead of Emma so it's just stuck and she's been such an enormous part of my life raising my children and she is their godmother and she was with us on this particular holiday and one morning we woke up and all of a sudden on the horizon we started to see dolphins and we got the boat going and we were on the move and these dolphins came with us and there was something so symbolic about my god we're all we're on a voyage and it wasn't just the actual voyage.

41:31It was a voyage of life. And Lemon made a little film of this whole holiday, but it heavily featured the day with the dolphins. And this was the piece of music that she put to her little film that she had made on her video recorder. And there are lyrics in it that goes, in the quivering forest, where the shivering dogs rest. We all heard that as, in the quivering forest we'll be swimming with dolphins okay and so even still now when we hear that song and we listen to it we sing along that's what we sing instead we'll be swimming with dolphins so so this song's really for lemon and she's so loved and special and uh yeah this is for her

42:30In the quivering forest Where the shivering dolphins Our good grandfather Built a word Fleet Foxes and Blue Ridge Mountains. Oh, it's such an uplifting song. I love it. Swimming with dolphins. So, Kate Winslet, you married your husband, Ned, in 2012. The two of you met in very dramatic circumstances. Talk me through it. My husband, Ned, is one of many nieces and nephews of Sir Richard Branson. And I had been invited to go to Necker Island, which is in the British Virgin Islands, with my children. I think Richard had heard that I was on my own with my kids and maybe I'd like a nice holiday somewhere.

43:22and I get on the plane to travel out there and other passengers on the plane start saying hello to me. Hello, hi, nice to meet you. And I realise it's their annual family week and I had been included. I'm like, oh my God, okay, bizarre. We arrived there and on the second night of the holiday there was a terrible hurricane and the house was struck by lightning and caught fire and we were all very, very lucky to be alive. and Ned, he just came running out of that house. We all escaped to a different building but he came running out of that house and into the one that everyone had sort of run to for safety and he had a head torch on and bright pink underpants and an orange rain jacket.

44:10I'm standing up like I'm doing the actions of Ned. Bright orange rain jacket and sensibly he'd put on his trainers, which nobody else had done because we'd just run out of this burning building. Ready for action. With bare feet, treading on cactuses and wildlife. And apart from the pink underpants, was it love at first sight or... Honestly, I... Instant chemistry? Yeah. I don't think I've ever said this publicly, but the first time I ever saw Ned was arriving at the airport to get a boat to go to the island and he was already there. he'd flown in from America and he was waiting for all of his family to greet them.

44:47He was excited to see everyone. He'd been away for a while. And those airport sliding doors opened like that. And there was Ned going, hooray, like this with his arms in the air. And I looked at him and I thought, oh, it's you. And I just was like, I felt like I'd taken off. And it was his energy after the fire coming into this room with his head torch and his pink underpants on, with a big smile on his face, a room full of crying, distressed people. And he went, we're alive! And I just thought, sign me up. I'm there. That's it. I'll just go wherever you go now. And so you did. You have a son together.

45:26His middle name is Blaze, I think. After the fire. After the fire. Bear Blaze. I mean, how would you describe family life today? I'm just laughing because it's great fun. and the rest of my life spent with Ned will just be full of so much joy and spontaneity. And some days I just can't believe my luck. Kate, this is a very special episode of Desert Island Discs, not just because you are our castaway, which we're thrilled about, but because it is our Christmas episode. So how will you be spending Christmas this year? What are the traditions, Shea Winslet? Well, I have taken to brining my turkey.

46:09Oh, Ned is vegan. So I usually make him a mushroom lentil Wellington that actually I get really irritable about making because it's so finickety and time consuming. So irritating. But I do it and Ned's grateful. We have just a good old family Christmas, you know, lots of food being together. My dad will be around. Lots of playing silly games. Lots of going for long walks. Lots of going to the pub. Brilliant. You mentioned going for a long walk as part of your Christmas tradition. I know that you are outdoorsy as a person. You love your wild swimming and the natural world. Do you think that'll set you up well for life on the desert island?

46:51Do you mind roughing it a bit? Oh, I love roughing it. And I don't really need luxuries and creature comforts. It's just not my vibe. Well, we'll let you take one more track before we send you to the desert island. Before you're cast away, your final choice, Kate Winslet. What's it going to be? Oh, I'm excited about this one. I'm excited about this one because this is something that Ned and I would have absolutely been listening to as teenagers in different parts of the world before we ever met. And it's a song that we both absolutely love. We leap around the room to it. It's pure Neddy energy.

47:25And so it's Pump Up The Jam by Technotronic.

47:37A little more, get the party going on the dance floor. See, cos that's where the party's at, and you'll find out if you do that. I want a place to stay. Get your booty on the floor tonight, make my day. I want a place to stay. Pump Up the Jam by Technotronic. Kate Winslet, it's time to send you away to the island. I will give you the Bible, the complete works of Shakespeare, and you can take one other book of your choice. what will it be? So a big part of our life is being outside and we do cook a lot outside as well on beaches, in fields, in forests, up hills. It is just something that we do.

48:18And so this book is called Outside by a brilliant chef named Gil Mellor. And Gil talks about being a child, discovering the outdoors and discovering food. But he references that time as being a time before this time, talking about the digital age, where it is so much harder to be still and just appreciate the simple things in life and keeping that sense of balance and perspective, what's important, how to be happy. And for me and for my family, turning to the outside is a way of staying grounded and being happy. So that's my book. And that's the perfect perspective for a desert Ireland as well.

49:02I mean, as a castaway, you're going to be outside all the time. So perfect choice. Bring it on. Can't wait. You can also have a luxury item. Kate, what do you fancy? Well, so I'm not very good at luxury items. I'm not really a luxury person. But I did think, well, what is one thing I couldn't live without? And actually, in spite of myself, it's freshly ground coffee. I love coffee. I love the smell of it. I look forward to it. I fall asleep at night being excited about the coffee I'm going to have in the morning. I put cream in my coffee. Fresh cream. And the other thing, being resourceful, is that coffee is really great for exfoliating your face.

49:44It's really great for cleaning your hands, getting rid of horrible odours. I'm constantly using old coffee grounds because half the time my hands smell of garlic and onions. So that's my luxury item. You're going to be fresh as a daisy on that desert island. And finally, which one track of the eight that you've shared with us today, Kate Winslet, would you rush to save from the waves if you have to. It's got to be that beautiful recording of my dad singing Georgia on my mind. It's just a great way to always hear his voice and I don't think I could ever do without that. Kate Winslet, thank you very much for letting us hear your Desert Island discs.

50:16Thank you so much for letting me share them. Wow. And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. We did it. Yes. We did it.

50:43I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Kate. We'll leave her on the island drinking coffee and cream to her heart's content. We've cast away many actors over the years, including Kate Blanchett, Michael Sheen, Danny Dyer and Kate's good friend, Emma Thompson. The studio manager for today's programme was Sarah Hockley. The assistant producer was Christine Pavlovsky. The executive production coordinator was Susie Roilance. The content editor was Mugabe Turia. And the producer was Paula McGinley. Next time, my guest will be the writer, Jojo Moyes. I do hope you'll join us.

51:18Hi, it's India here. I'm very excited to bring you the return of child. So we've been on the journey of an embryo all the way to a baby's first birthday. And now we are going to enter the explosive life of the toddler, because this is the perfect place to unpick the very complicated world of emotions, the emotions that affect us all. So come with us as over eight episodes we fall through the abundant and dizzying world of happiness, descend into the depths of fear and the gendered and dangerous world of anger, and then crawl, wobble and bounce our way through awe, love, anxiety and surprise. From BBC Radio 4, this is Child with me, India Rackerson.

52:04Listen first on BBC Sounds.