Chapter 30 - The Wrong Paws

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1:17Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over$900 on average. Pop over to Progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99 % of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company & Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of$946 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary. Hi friends, travelers, Skylarkians. Welcome to Chapter 30, The Wrong Pause.

2:00So listen, now through July 6th, I'm running a very special limited promotion. Join Club 86 and you'll get a custom sticker. It's 8-bit style. It's glittery. It shows the station. And it says all my friends are either dead or demigods. It's 2 by 2.5 inches. It's going to come with a handwritten heartfelt letter of thanks from yours truly. that card is going to be space themed the envelope is going to be sealed with a little planet sticker just head to patreon.com forward slash desert skies for a preview of that if you're already a member you have the option of purchasing the sticker directly through patreon and all you got to do is join or upgrade before july 6th and maintain membership for at least a month from the date of joining or upgrading that's it i'm not going to tell you everything club 86 has to offer this time because you already know.

2:58But I will mention that the first episode of the exclusive five-part miniseries, Meanwhile, Back at the Station, is available today. And another exclusive series is launching July 2nd. I'll announce that later. Those exclusive series will be available at the Traveler tier and above. Just go to patreon.com forward slash desert skies or visit the link in the show notes. Now, I want to thank some of our new Club 86 members who are Franzie Minimuff, John DeKisses, Blue Crow, Florida Man, R. Brackham, Charlie Keshmore, Tiff and Ben, Babs, Chelsea, Martin Quibble, Porter Stowers, Casey, Eric from Spain, Seaweed Brain, E, Danielle Parker, Kate, Ragnar, Taylor Giroux, Ruben Eden, Probster, Dr.

3:49Ava Maddox is our cat, Melissa Bravo, Kyle Sweeney, Ravi, Jacob Clark, and Christy. If I didn't read your name this time, don't worry, it's because of when I recorded. That will be in the next episode. Thank you. You guys make the show happen. Last but not least, Desert Skies is on Instagram, Facebook, Blue Sky, and Discord. Find links to our socials in the show notes. This episode was made by a human for humans and coyotes for the best listening experience. Headphones and human-made art are recommended.

4:33Look, mechanical engineer Doug, it's not like Doug is saying that I can't appreciate the attractive designs and features of the 8-track players I've owned. I mean, Doug will never part ways with his Panasonic Dynamite 8 in Detonator Red, or his Panasonic Model C Q8 ADS, which Doug could use to listen to Desert Skies FM when I was at home. It's just that Doug finds compact cassettes to be superior in this age of increasing music catalog availability. This is all very interesting, Assistant Radio Shack Doug. It's just that I believe the question asked was if you'd remembered to bring along your tension meter.

5:22Radio Tower Doug says we need it this time. Of course, Assistant Radio Shack Doug brought his digital tension meter. That's the whole reason we had to go back to the truck. Just making sure you can trust me. Look, here it is, just like I told you. We carry all kinds of products at Radio Shack. We're your one-stop shop for all kinds of electrical needs. If we don't have what you're looking for, we might even be able to order it for you, which was the very case with this gorgeous digital tension meter. Look at it. Here, I'll hold it up so you can see it in the moonlight. Hey, that's mine!

6:44What in the hell was that? Looks like a bear and a robot. Was it Cash? Doug hasn't seen her in ages. It didn't sound like Cash. And as all Dougs know about her character and valor, stealing simply isn't something Doug would believe her capable of. She's a hero! We better get back to the site so we can report this. That's it. That's it. Bring it in. Yep, just like that. Nice and easy. Watch your head, construction worker dog number one. I'm construction worker dog number three. Construction worker dog number two wants to know when break time is. I'm getting a little peckish. But we just ate. Well, well, well, it's about time you ducks got here.

7:38Radio Tower Dog, we gotta tell you something. Let dog guess. You forgot the digital tension meter, didn't you? No, sir, we remembered it. It's just that while we were walking back from the truck, we were robbed. Robbed? Robbed, sir, by a bear and a robot. You guys are pulling ducks like you ducks just forgot the digital tension. meter again sir mechanical engineer duck wouldn't lie it really happened and has assistant radio shack dog ever lied to you yes in fact you have you oversold duck on the available coverage of the cellular service you influenced me to purchase i was just reading from the script hey don't touch You're gonna get somebody hurt!

8:32No! Don't cut that wire! You're gonna...

8:43Oh, this is not good! Dogs, are you okay? All here and accounted for, sir. It almost squished me! What happened? It was a bear, sir, and a robot. They took some cable cutters and snapped our support wires. Looks like you Dugs were telling the truth. My apologies. What do we do now? We pursue. Come on, Dugs. Follow that bear. Any other secret you're holding on to? Bombs you plan to drop along the way. Maybe. Can you just do that now and save us all the trouble of waiting in worried anticipation? No. Well, then at least give us a break from any more surprises. Okay, Corson. No more surprises for...

9:33Hurry, they're gaming on us. What in the hell is that? They went that way. Get them guys off. Jesus, these guys, we've got such little ads. All of us working together, we can do this. I'm not wearing any shoes. That's it, bitches. I'm going home. No, you're not. Like Nani said, what in the hell was that? A bear, a robot, and a bunch of dugs. Was that bear and robot laughing? Maniacally. And mechanically. Well, let's start with this. That bear and that robot are obviously the ones that have been giving the fishers a hard time. Cash, do you have any idea what a robot is doing on the forest sphere?

10:16I might have some idea. We'll come back to that. Does anybody know why there might be a bunch of dugs on the forest sphere? Hmm, yeah. They are on vacation. So Mac has no clue. Cash, is there a secret Doug commune on the forest sphere perhaps, or... This one's a complete mystery to me, Tendi. Here comes one of the little guys. I wonder which one it is. Maybe like a donut Doug? Even if it was donut Doug, he wouldn't have his donut making supplies with him. And I seriously doubt he's carrying donuts around in his pocket. I mean, you carry donuts around in your pocket. That's different. That's in case my blood sugar gets low.

10:55You even know what blood sugar is? Of course I do. The higher your blood sugar, the less sugar you crave. Hello, bitch. Are you here to explain what we have just witnessed? Well, I thought I saw you guys. I wasn't expecting to run into celebrities. We got the attendants, Corson, and Assistant Radio Shack Doug's absolute favorite superhero, Cash. And me. Oh yeah, I think I remember you. Were you the one that came into Radio Shack and got donut powder all over our electronics? Uh, no. Oh. It's good to see you, Assistant Radio Shack, Doug. It's good to see you, Cash. Rumor had it you were gone. Something about being a human in a coma and waking up on the physical plane?

11:43Obviously they were wrong. It's a long story. I mean, that's kind of like 95 % of the story. Doug, what's happening? Your gas is as good as mine, Cash. Tell us what you know about the robot. So, remember how I used the Cash units to help rebuild the highway? Doug remembers when you guys came through. It was quite the sight. I could control them like an extension of my body. It made the work we did quick. The industrial sphere kept the asphalt coming, and I and my non-sentient companions paved the astral plane in no time. Because there's no time here. Um, when we paved everything all the way through the 33rd sphere, I returned them to the industrial sphere.

12:24The 32nd sphere. Right. Hephaestus, the sphere mover, he wanted the other cache units disassembled, some parts repurposed, the frames melted down. Now, I consider myself a fairly logical person. I shouldn't have had any problem with the industrial sphere repurposing those units, but it felt wrong. They had been a part of me. Co-workers. Companions. I couldn't stand the idea of them being torn apart. So I shared that with the Prime Mover. And he spoke with Hephaestus. And it was decided that they would do their best to reprogram those units for different purposes. Construction workers. Delivery units.

13:01Non-sentient autonomous cash units. They hadn't had a whole lot of luck creating autonomous cash units. But Hephaestus assigned their best engineers to the task. And? And it looks like maybe that resulted in some problems. At least one. Hopefully just one. They made a prankster robot. It's unlikely that they could make a prankster robot. Then how do you explain those two? They wouldn't make a prankster robot, but they would make a robot that responds to commands. Without the right safeguards in place, anyone could get the robot to do what they want. You're saying the robot isn't the problem? It's just a tool.

13:37So it's the bear. So, are we getting involved in this? I'm sure the dogs could figure this out on their own. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but we're tiny. And the chances of us catching those two are really tiny. Why are you guys out here anyways? Unite the spheres! What does that mean? Unite the spheres. You haven't heard? Can't say as we have. It's an astral initiative. Take Desert Skies FM, for example. Do you guys have any idea how popular that show is on the sphere of dog? I mean, I'm not surprised. It's pretty amazing. It was pretty amazing. Have you tuned in since Greg took over?

14:23No, actually, we haven't. Here, I have my portable radio. Listen. And that's how my friend Samantha got her bachelor's degree in communications, even though she went back to school a little later in life. It just goes to show ya, quitting is not the way. Of course the day she graduated she died. Hey, speaking of not quitting, did I ever tell you guys about the first time I caught a northern pike? I'm sure I probably did, but a story worth telling is worth telling twice. As I remember it, I woke up probably around 6.42 in the morning, or maybe it was 6.43. Anyways, I woke up, I put on my favorite...

15:10No, you know what? I think it was 6.40. First off, why is he even on the radio? What are you guys even doing out here? Let's talk about that after you tell us what you're doing. We're putting up radio towers. Up to this point, the only stations available have just been music and other audio media housed in the library of the sphere of industry. It's fine, but here on the astral plane, we don't want to just hear stuff made on the physical plane. We want our own radio stations. Astral Plane FM, unite the spheres! Hmm, unite the spheres. It's an astral initiative. We've been putting up these towers on every sphere.

15:59Now you'll be able to hear live music from the long pause or find out what new stories there are on the sphere of Doug. Or, well, you'll see the way we see it. We're so isolated in our spheres. What if we started working as a team? The afterlife's better when we're in it together, don't you think? I rather like this initiative. Whose idea was it? Sphere Mover Dougs. He was so inspired by you guys. You, well, you take chances. This is us Dougs taking a chance. This is the last sphere we're installing a tower on. Astroplane FM. I like the sound of it. Oh, it'll give us something to listen to in the car.

16:46We must stop those troublemakers. Where do we start? I have a plan. Cash, you're the fastest and strongest person here. Catch that bear, and if you're able to, disable that other cash unit until we can find out what's going on. When you find them, do you have a way to signal where you are? Yes, I'll amplify a sound you can locate me with. Great. Mac, you and I can follow that sound. We'll need you to speak to the bear. Try to get him to stop. Nani, you and Corson head back to the long pause. Corson, talk to Jerry and see what he knows about this rogue bear. Okay, but what am I doing? I can't talk to Jerry.

17:23I would just feel better if we're in pairs. We've only been on this trip a little while, and it already feels like everything is working to split us up. I agree. The afterlife's better when we're in it together. Isn't that right, Doug? Right you are, Cash. But you forgot about me. Who am I gonna buddy up with? I didn't forget about you, Cash. Up we go. Whoa, I get to ride on the Cash's shoulders? New core memory! This is amazing! Are we gonna go fast? So fast. All right! Great. Let's do this. Pan, I asked you about something. What is it? You seemed hopeful after you talked with that Arnie back at the Electric Desert that your powers were gonna come back.

18:08I did feel hopeful. And I did feel my powers coming back. I think. But I haven't been able to feel it again since. Why do you think you felt it back there? Well, he helped me to realize something that I had never considered. Which is? That being unique doesn't have to mean being unique entirely alone. Oh? That being unique is something you can do with other people. He helped me to understand the importance of the work I do with games. I'm not the only one who does this work. As one person, my influence is limited. But together, we do make a difference. Powerful stuff. Powerful, yes. But not enough.

18:59Powerful, but not enough? Yes. So what do you think the answer is? I have no idea. Well, I have a theory. I'm listening. Maybe that was just the start of your journey. Back to being a stormy bitch. How so? None of us are all one thing, right? I mean, I know I'm not. You're not just strange. I know you're just making a joke, but no. There's a lot of aspects to how I understand myself. Some are more powerful than others. And if I can figure out more about who I am now that I'm no longer a sphere mover, I'll get my powers back. You know, maybe you need to stop worrying about that so much. Stop worrying about?

19:42About getting your powers back. How are you ever going to be able to figure out who you are if your whole identity is wrapped up in your ability to make it rain? Not just rain. I can make it windy. I can cause lightning, too. What makes us who we are is what we do with what we have in the moment. You need to figure out who you are without your powers. Hell, maybe you need to figure it out understanding that... Understanding what? That there's a possibility you're never going to get your powers back. That sounds terrible. Might just be the best thing for you. Good energy in. Good energy out.

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21:02That's the science of wow. Colgate Optic White. Well, this is nice. What is? The forest. Getting to hang out with my friend. It's kind of weird, huh? What about it is weird? Anytime we ever did anything, we were always thinking about getting back to the station. But now the station doesn't really need us. I mean, sounds like Greg's not having a hard time. Betty and Greg are the most confident and competent people I've ever met. I'm sure they're having a great time. Yeah, I'm sure they are. Even if Betty can't really do anything. Like, she can't lift boxes, she can't pump gas, she can't even microwave a burrito.

21:41She's kind of useless. Excuse me? Oh, Betty, good to see you. I am not useless, Mac. I'm really good with travelers, and Greg likes it when I keep him up to date with all the important news from the physical plane. Important news? Yeah, like for instance, wouldn't you know that when Phil's daughter took over the diner, she nicks the rhubarb pie? It's a crime. Wow. Phil's daughter did that? Yeah, you know him? No. It's good to see you, Betty. What's going on? Oh, nothing. Just checking in? Well, kinda. You see, we were thinking of taking Tendi's 61 Skylark out for a little drive. See if we could find you.

22:22Maybe grab a drink at the long pause. Greg's been working really hard, and we could use a little break. That sounds real nice. Yeah, but you know what? What? That nifty little open close sign that used to hang on the door? The one that put a pause on travelers arriving? Yeah. Somebody stole it. Oh, really? You guys wouldn't happen to know where it is, would ya? Nope. Sorry, Betty. No. No clue. Maybe, uh, Mac took it. Uh, what? Hmm. Hmm. Oh, what? Yeah, he took it. When he lies, he takes the nail of his right index finger and uses it to dig under the nail of his left index finger. What? I don't do that.

23:00Oh, shit. Yeah, looks like I do that. Oh, Mac, why'd you take it? How's Greg gonna take a break now? It's the one souvenir I could get away with taking without Cash telling me there was no room. I hid it under the driver's seat. I just needed something that really reminded me of the place. Well, how do we get it back? It's not like I can take it back to him. I don't know. Have Greg borrow a car from a traveler. He can come pick it up. He doesn't have to do that. That car behind the station, the one that's all banged up? The one that mean old lady crashed into my shack? Yeah, it's a little janky, but Matt got it running again.

23:35Kind of. Just let Greg know that if he pulls up to the pump, travelers will stop arriving. That works? Yeah, I forgot about that. Only one car can be parked at the pump at a time. At least, that's how it's always worked in the past. Shirley figured it out. Okay, we'll give it a try. What you guys doing anyways? We're looking for a bear and a rogue cash unit that are wreaking havoc on the forest sphere. Oh, you guys are already having fun, don't you know? Look, I'd stick around and help, but I have a doctor's appointment I need to leave the house for. Doctor's appointment? Are you alright? Oh, oh yeah, I'm fine.

24:11She just said she needed to go over some results with me. I'm sure it's no big deal. Oh, okay. Well, thanks for dropping by. Tell Greg we said hi. And tell him I said I'm sorry about the sign. You guys make sure and find us when you go on your drive. We'll probably still be here. Will do. See you guys. Bye. Later, friend. Betty's the coolest. Really? I thought I was the coolest. Huh. Excuse me. I will now list off all the dorky things you do. I was kidding, Mac. I don't consider myself cool. Well, you should. You're a pretty cool dude. So, I'm really dorky and pretty cool? That about sums it up.

24:50I'll take it. Any sign of him? I don't see him yet. Do you think if you could catch him, you could still control him? In my old soldier frame, maybe. Darn. I almost forgot. I do have thermal vision. It's been a while since I've used this. Let's see. Okay, scanning. Nothing, nothing, nothing. What appears to be a group of moles in an underground den playing poker and smoking cigars. In an enclosed space like that? How do they see anything with all that smoke? I think they have pretty bad eyesight to begin with. How can they see what cards they have? We're getting distracted Doug. Continuing my scan.

25:33Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. There, I see them. About a quarter mile that way.

25:47You is having fun. Try again Kai. Repeat after me. You are having fun. You are having fun? Negative. I am incapable of experiencing emotions, and therefore unable to experience the positive feelings that would render an experience fun. That is sad. No, it isn't. I will continue to laugh when you request it. What should we do now? What would you like to do? Something funny. generating a list of options. List generated. Option one, you could turn on the hose behind the long paws and run away. Is boring. That is boring is the correct phrasing. That is boring. Option two, we could tie the Fisher's shoelaces together.

26:44The giants are too big and too fast. We would get caught. Try again. We should run away. That is a funny idea, but not funny. It is not funny. It is necessary. They're gaining on us. Oh, shit. Move quickly. Move quickly. Move quickly. Kai is tired. Kai, let's try that again. I am tired. Stop correcting me. I will stop correcting until I am told otherwise. Run away for now. Then save me. I'm running away for now. I'll stay close enough to observe you from a distance. I will rescue you when the opportunity presents itself. Thanks. And don't worry about Kai. I am not worried about Kai. That makes one of us.

27:44But seriously, that's cold, man. Look, don't wait to save me if Jerry catches me. That guy's gonna claw my ass off after everything Kai did. Okay, bye. You there, don't move. Where's the robot? He's a bear, Cash. He can't speak. Maybe he can point. Kai can speak. But how? What do you mean, Hal? Kai speak human? I mean, I'm no biologist, Doug, but you're a bear, right? Huh. You, robot. Yes? Take little guy off your shoulder and chuck him into river. No. You have to do what I say. You are a robot. One that can't be bossed around. Oh, damn. Which means the one you're with can be controlled. His name is M4.

28:58M4 is my friend. He teach me to speak human. And apparently you taught him how to wreak havoc across the astral plane. Ha ha, yes. Hmm, Kai, we need your help. Do you know where M4 went? Yes, but Kai is not telling. It's important. That robot is a cache unit, attempt M4, and he's in a powerful frame that was designed to fight battles. Even after reprogramming, he's dangerous in the wrong hands. We have to find him and shut him down before someone chooses to use him for more than just pranks. No, you can't shut him down. He's my friend. No, he's not, Kai. He doesn't have feelings. He doesn't have emotions.