America vs Europe

34:59And so we had multiple rooms all on the top floor of this place, which is not like that's not like on the 50th floor where it's like, well, you're not going to climb this. You could climb the stairs, but it'd be nice to take an elevator up and down if you're going all the way up to the sixth floor. That's a pretty tall walk it walk up. But my brother and I were kids. And so we would often just walk up because this hotel had one of those elevators that was like for a homunculus sized person from the medieval era that they have never updated for any reason. It's powered by a little hamster on a wheel in the basement or something.

35:33And it was just sketchy as shit. And the last day we were there, we were like, we got to get our bags. We're getting out of here. We got to get to the airport, whatever. And my brother was like, oh, I'm so tired. We've been hiking around. It's been beautiful. We're hugging around the vest. I'm exhausted. I'm just going to take my suitcase and wedge into the elevator and just be lazy. Because he and I, as the kids, were like, we'll just do the stairs. You, grandpa, grandma, you do the elevator. Mom and dad, we'll do the stairs. We're young. And he's just like, I'm just going to do it. And he's like, if you've seen me in person, you know I'm a pretty big dude.

36:06My brother is almost as big as I am. He's basically as tall as I am, not as out of shape and heavy as I am. He's always been kind of a leaner person. But he's a pretty big dude. But he gets in the elevator and he's got his suitcase and he like pushes the button and the elevator like in a movie is just like.

36:26And then it just sort of goes like. And it goes like halfway down between the floor we're on and the floor below and stops. And I'm standing here looking at him and the elevator has some glass windows in the door. So I'm looking right at his face and he's just kind of like. Oh, it's going to know it's not going to move. It just stopped And he hung there for a minute We were both kind of like what would you call the cops Or what do you do about this And then out of nowhere The door of the elevator Opens So he's standing in an open elevator Between two floors of the hotel Like a fucking One of those movies Final Destination movie right Where it's like you just know the moment He's like I'll just squeeze out Then the elevator's like

37:17So he's just standing there And like we're five feet apart And he's just standing in this elevator Kind of like wedged in with his suitcase Like I'm really not sure And eventually I run down to the lobby And get the hotel manager And I'm like yeah the elevator's stuck And the doors open And he's like yeah it does that It does that Have you pushed the buttons I'm like yeah do you fucking put it You mean you haven't pushed the buttons No, he doesn't know how elevators work So he's just standing waiting to see what happens Yeah, well usually if you push the button You know, it'll keep going, whatever I'm like, okay, well it's not, will you come help?

37:51And he's like Alright Like he was, in his brain He was like, is there anything I have to be doing Down here? Fuck, I don't want to walk Upstairs, god damn And he didn't do anything, he came up And looked and gave it the old Mm-hmm, or whatever the italian equivalent is of that bon giorno whatever the fuck they say and eventually he was right after like a solid 10 12 minutes of my brother just standing there again with a suitcase that barely fit in with him because this is like a for some reason a single person elevator just standing there and he's like every once in a while he's like button button take me back up any floor i don't even care eventually the thing is just like oh yeah i'm in elevator goes all the way down to the log like what the fuck the hamster needed a break or something I don't understand so anyway but every elevator even the nicest elevators I've ever used in Europe they're always like weird dimensions or like somehow there's a door and a door on two adjacent sides of it where you're like how the fuck does that even work why would you need to do it it's always awful I've been on American elevators where it's like I don't know if this has been inspected in the last year or two feels a little sketchy I never thought I was going to die and never ever been in an elevator that was smaller than like could hold a party of two comfortably Who the fuck is designing all this shit for European elevators?

39:18I know the buildings are old. I know They exist. There are better elevators. They exist. I don't understand what's going on. It's Italy specifically but everywhere She feel bad The elevator was waiting to get them and it just got tired. It was like all right fine you live this time buddy it's like trying to file its own cable and it gets too tired it's like ah fuck it i'll i'll get the next one i'll get the next one that's a shameful strike against europe uh america with our big huge elevators for our big huge people wins again it's just comfort it doesn't have to be there's a normal sized americans they just enjoy a safe elevator look don't make it about how fat i am it's not about me i would never all right wade Alright let me just direct your attention Here for a moment Oh fuck Oh man the listeners were having Such a great time Listeners you're done for I'll describe it the best I can But a visual does help You guys recognize this place right Oh yeah You know what now that I'm thinking about it Here here I'll give you a clue It's Swastika Road For rank for frankfurt uh germany georgia frankfurt

40:41germany so the airport in frankfurt germany when we had to fly home from the tour we had a layover in frankfurt we went from frankfurt back home and there's this section of frankfurt's airport from memory i'm pretty sure it's pretty close to this where we came in from like this direction and there's a little shop here and the shop full of people yeah people and then there's a whole bunch of people crowded here i mean like tons like trying to get into disney world numbers of people just standing around in here and you file into these like little lines and the line goes we molly and i were we finally shoved our way over to this wall got in went into line here everybody on these sides is just pushing in to get in front of you so you don't move unless you're real forceful about it oh wait no i see it yeah that's a problem so it really sucked trying to get to this point right here at the edge of these like entrance kiosks the very far left once you're past that it's like okay now we're in line line moving life's good thank god so we get through this takes forever we're in this line and then like right when we get to the front of the line A guy walks over and is like, hey, you've been randomly selected for some screening.

41:56And we're like, okay. So they pull us out. They go through all of our luggage. They look at everything. They're like, all right, you look clean. We're like, great. So they're like, yep. So now you got to go back out here and get in this line again. Oh, no. Where you could maybe get randomly selected to be screened again. What? So this entire section existed just to shove us back out into general populace. It's like, so wait, you just went through all of our stuff. Yes. you took our fingerprints went through our luggage saw our identification you know we're clear we've got our tickets got our passports yep we can't just go through no no no you gotta go back out into the line again and then we had to go through this hell a second time frankfurt germany listen i don't think we got to spend much time in frankfurt we were in berlin where we were in two cities in germany when we did the tour right berlin and what was the other one um go to the archive.org of you're welcome tour.com cologne we were in cologne cologne cologne was it so I didn't spend much time in you Frankfurt German, but this design for the airport What were you thinking?

43:00Why is this the way it is? Why is this the way the lines work where you go in these little kiosky things to go straight to wait in line? If you're in the far side God help you if you ever need to get through because this family of 40, they're going through this one single line and every one of them is going through before they let you pass and then this line with three that think they maybe forgot something they're gonna stand there and debate it while these other two lines push forward and when it's finally your turn they're gonna go through your shit and for whatever reason send you as far back into hell as possible to go through it a second time and then you know it was like what a 12 hour flight or whatever back which is whatever the plane was fine but this whole concept of everyone pushing everywhere to get to this line just to get shoved back man i thought it was gonna do me in i was mentally just defeated whenever this guy's like through that door there's like that seems the wrong direction why is there this long wall that leads us back toward the end of the crowd as you push through the door back into your realm of suffering you just hear above behind you everybody makes mistakes it's just the airport ghosts fucking germany and amsterdam are the same place yeah i just realized i have a story from the amsterdam airport that's pretty fucky too oh god it's it's not remotely what you guys had to deal with but so so one of the second time that we went to amsterdam to do shows because we were doing the makeup tour stuff from when marketing almost died uh mandy came and we were gonna fly from amsterdam up to london to see some friends and to see london we've never been there before together and um so we had a flight out of amsterdam after we did all the tour stuff and we got to the we got a text like the night before and this is partially on us because i think we flew like ryanair or one of the ones that's basically like frontier except somehow worse uh like european budget airline we got a text the night before that was like your flight might be uh up to two hours early or some shit and we were like i remember that was it a whole bunch of people on that flight what do you mean might be and what do you and we were like okay well we'll just get to the we'll get up as early as we can we'll get to the airport like really fucking early we'll hang out and so we were like that's weird but fine we got to the airport super early and we but the security took for fucking ever and so we got through security and it was like well if the flight is that early we need to run to the gate right now we're barely gonna make it and then we're standing there we get another text message from the airline that's like ah your flight's just gonna be normal on time we're like oh god okay fuck well now we have a bunch of time to kill so let's i guess let's go get food or something right like let's chill out this has been stressful so far and we go and we sit down i think we might have got mcdonald's which is very american of us but because they have this special fry sauce in in the netherlands and we wanted to try the thing because it's like the different mcdonald's whatever and we're sitting there and we're eating and then no updates nothing's happening we're just like huh thank god of our on-time flight and then we get another text that's like oh your flight is leaving 10 minutes ago i hope you were there we're like whoa whoa whoa what the even fuck and like we look and we're just like just stand up chuck our shit in the trash run to the thing we get to the gate empty no humans there no you know and when you get to a gate for a flight there's like people crowding around sitting in the seats whatever empty except for the people except for the employees at the gate we run up and we're like there's the plane here and they're kind of like ah you missed it well wait is that our plane is that sitting right there is that people we could see walking down the jetway like they're just those are just the other we're on that same flight i think like oh yeah you're on to london yeah yeah that's us ah you missed it and i'm like everybody makes mistakes whoa i literally got my phone i was like look this text message came at like 10 15 a.m that said our flight was going to leave at 10 a.m which is before the text and he was like yeah that's messed up wow well i was like i was it was everything i could do not to just like become enraged at this and this dude had no reason to help us it's just like a gate agent at a you know whatever it's not his problem we're late kind of um but eventually i was like is there anything you can do what if i run down the jetway we cancel the flight so we we delay it so and i'll get arrested and we'll make the like whatever is there any it was like well i could ask the flight crew if they'll just like let you on i was like do that great and it was like it was the similar experience to you it's not like he hated us but it was every fucking thing he was like i could pick up the phone and push a button and be like fuck but every eventually he did it and like we're standing there just like i was i was definitely dripping with sweat because we ran through the airport because we thought we had another like hour or something anyway finally he's like ah just go on and he didn't even open the door or or scan tickets or anything like literally he was like all right whatever you guys can go they said you could go but it was just fucking we walked in and go and clap and we get on the plane and i swear to god like we're getting on the plane the whole plane is all seated now and it's just us sweaty me taking up the entire interior interior space of the airplane just like give me excuse me get back get back to our seats like is that how you talk when you go on an airplane that's that's my airplane voice yeah we get back there sit down the moment we're just like we're in the we're in the plane to the place the captain gets on is like uh looks like we're not gonna have a runway uh we're gonna be sitting here at the gate for another 25 30 minutes uh we're on the plane we're on and i i i wish not for myself then but for my story now i wish that they had just been like ah we're gonna get you off the plane get on you to wait on here for all that they didn't do that but like what's going on at the amsterdam airport like what the fuck is that i've never ever heard of a flight in america where they're like we're moving it forward an unreasonable amount of time have fun i i've never heard that before hope you don't have complicated travel plans to the airport oh that's that's terrible that's terrible not really as bad as what you had to do if i'm honest i just can't believe it all happened in amsterdam yeah and frankfurt one insert uh before wade goes did you know they don't believe in cream what kind of cream coffee cream yeah what yeah coffee cream yeah yeah porn cream porn cream so what you would just have coffee with sugar but nothing else no they have milk oh just put a sugar packet in your milk that's not that's not cream what the fuck are you talking about but hold on if you put enough sugar it gets thick enough it's just not what cream is no no well you don't want to do salt oh you're right you know what he's on to something you don't want to do salt that's not cream either that's even less cream put some sugar in your milk and a cinnamon stick and then like blow on or something i don't know if i had if i had a knob to vote one way or the other i would definitely agree with way that sugar and milk is way more cream than salted milk anyway they like because i i kept asking for and this is me dumb american be like can i get americana with uh cream with cream and i kept saying that with confidence and you know i would get that look the european like look and i thought that was just them having a bad day but i realize now if they didn't know what i was talking about i was asking for some cream was it uh europe or australia where we ordered lemonade and they gave us sprite and i was so confused oh that's a that's a uk thing in it sorry i have to sniff real loud i'm gonna i'm gonna go i got i'll be right back oh unrelated okay sinuses or drugs no no no i came back with a tiny sniffle oh okay just It's like, guys, I gotta snort real quick.

50:45I don't wanna do it on camera. Sorry, I can't get through an episode without it. No, it's unfortunate. I just need a little fist bump. Just gonna punch myself in the face real quick. Oh, just to see if you can take it in the middle of an episode. What a hero. I know, right? All right, Wade, what do you got against Europe? Or for it? No, no, no, here we go. This is another against. You know, Americans, we are pride ourselves, right? We're like, the country of freedom. America's freedom. Then everyone else is like, you know, we have freedom too. And then you go over to Europe and what do you find?

51:18You go to like McDonald's, you order their chicken nuggets. Everyone's like, oh, you gotta have the chicken. You gotta have the food over in Europe. You have the food over in Australia. Less freedom, more regulations is what I'm hearing. If I wanted to open a franchise and make lots of money, I gotta go through so much more fucking hassle in Europe because they've got less freedom to fuck your customers over. And I think that's bullshit. Maybe I want to sell you some pink slime wrapped up in dough. Are you angry that you would have a difficult time opening a McDonald's franchise somewhere in Europe?

51:49Not specifically McDonald's, but, you know, a fast food chain that cuts corners. Overall, they have, you know, more regulations. Maybe I want to crunch up deer hooves and antlers and call it chicken and a little bit of flavoring on top. But no, it's got to be real chicken over there. How many deer hooves you come across in your day-to-day? Yeah, see, this is what you get for eating at Long John Silver's. You come across and say, like, I got a business idea. I got a business idea. I got a supplier. I got a supplier. That fucking anchorman joke. Like, you know, anything tastes like chicken. Hey, what do you think they do with roadkill?

52:22You know, service for that? Someone picks that up? You could serve that in a restaurant. Okay, but less regulations is what you're saying. Yeah, I can't believe it. I might be being a little bit facetious here, but for customers, probably great eating food over there. But for the employers, man, I feel for them. All right. Okay. I'm just going to put your point as conservative talking points. You know what platform I want to stand on First guest Judge Kavanaugh I'm pretty sure his proper title is Justice Kavanaugh But whatever I was going to say that But I didn't really want to give him that much It was too many syllables I just picture him going I like beer I can't not picture that No matter what kind of Even if it's like Oh and then Justice Kavanaugh had a line of questioning For the I like beer Do you like beer?

53:10What beer do you like? I know he doesn't talk like The medical Officer man Oh RFK I know he doesn't talk like RFK but I imagine I like beer That's just all I picture in my head They're just all amalgamating All the people who you can't believe have the jobs they have Vote for us 2028 We are one president Three headed president? Us three headed president? I was about to say three headed president I'm in for that that sounds good My country This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

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54:16vote for us baby we're on the same page I'll give you points for that one and right now your president will give you a cameo for just$15 what a deal I want to have some more Europe slander before we get this over with oh I have another thing Speaking of coughing, who coughed? It was Wade. Me. I don't know why this is, and it might not be all of Europe, but there was definitely an uptick of people that were coughing like a baby coughs or like a toddler coughs, you know, tongue out. Like they've never coughed before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I don't know what it is, if that was just where we were, but it was predominantly in the Amsterdam airport, but you know, that's a whole other thing, but it's just no cover, none cover.

55:17And I, I'm pretty sure in America that we've been taught since kid cover, cough into your elbow first cover, and then started coughing into your elbow or in your, so when I sneeze, I, I look like I'm turning into a werewolf properly. You turtle inside. No, yeah, no, I'm with you. Yeah, no, I, I just like, Oh God, I'm going to sneeze. And then I try to contain it all in here And I'm sure it looks like I'm pulling out my explosives, but, you know, it's trying to contain the explosion. But yeah, no, no covering of anything. Yeah, I'm always taken aback by that. And I don't specifically have experience with that happening in Europe.

55:53But like when when an adult does that, I have a hard time not just reflexively being like the fuck. Like fucking have you ever done that before? Did you forget what that's like? God, it's gross. Did you not see the particle simulation from the COVID times of just talking to someone? You remember that particle thing? Look, sometimes your hands are full. Sometimes you literally have, there's nothing you could do. Fucking aim down or away from other people. Like, I've seen people where it's like they tried to cough at people and I just don't understand. Like, gross. I gotta share an image with you.

56:29You guys know about this image, right? The particle spread image. They're absolutely sharting out their mouth across the table. Oh, I thought the origin was the person on the right's belly button. It basically is. It basically is. It like coned out from there. They pissed so hard that it just... Right through the table. Like a water jet and water cutting machine. This episode's all over the place. I love it. I have more slander. I love it. Look, this is a hot take in a way that's hard to explain, but it's the time of year when this starts happening again. Sorry, I've left it somewhere else. Just the picture, yeah?

57:17It's a different picture. You want to share with the class? All right, fine. It's not going to be worth it. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. So many, I don't know if it's going at the guy or coming from. This looks like that foam stuff you used to be able to buy. It was kind of like... Floam?

57:38this guy's floam man and he's just he doesn't use his hands though he just like it comes out of my forehead i can't control it that's how they teach you to vomit in europe hands at your side i have correct posture while losing all of your shit all right it's the time of year when this happens and it happens every year and it happens increasingly because it keeps the temperatures keep getting crazier and crazier. If only there was some sort of explanation for all these weird weather events and record high temperatures year after year. Anyway, it's a time of year when Europeans and especially but not exclusively British people go online and are like, oh, fuck, it's so hot.

58:19I'm going to fucking die. Oh, my God. It's 78 degrees Fahrenheit. Fuck, geez, God. And then even worse, they wouldn't say Fahrenheit. Yeah, well, they say it's 17 and a half. No, it's like 28 Celsius. What's hot? I don't even know. Yeah, 25 and a half would be 78 degrees. All right. Yeah. So it gets getting to that time of year where, and I'm not here to judge someone for what they think is hot. As a person who spent summers in Michigan where summertime it was like high 70s, maybe 80, and we were swimming in lakes that were like 60 degree water. You're used to what you're used to. It's how what's hot for me is not what's hot for you.

58:57But I'm so fucking sick of people going online and be like, oh, it's so hot. Americans don't understand We live so rent free in your head That when you start sweating Your first instinct is Americans wouldn't understand Why I'm sweating right now I better tell the internet Wait do we not sweat or is it cold here Why wouldn't we understand I don't know man honestly And some people just post and they're like It's hot and I hate it and that's it But some people literally will be like Americans think they know what heat is And then Americans will be like Well, actually, like a quarter of America is like subtropical climate.

59:32And then like a huge sloth of the western part of America is like a desert. We know it gets really hot even in the not, you know, not interesting places. It gets hot in Ohio. It gets over 100 in Ohio. It's not. And then inevitably, the British people are like, you just don't understand the humidity. You don't even have water in America. You all just drink coke all the time. It's so it's so humid and we don't have air conditioning. Our houses are built differently. and you live in toothpicks covered in toilet paper so it's not hot for you like all this shit right all these arguments come out and the americans will just be like listen dude you fucking you made a video telling americans that we don't know what hot is and i'm telling you that it gets 30 degrees hotter where i live than it's ever been where you live and it's like it's 108 degrees with 100 humidity there's nothing that happens here that i don't understand about what's happening to you buy a fucking air conditioner like and it always becomes this thing where it this is the argument it goes it goes and eventually british people are just like see you can't fucking talk to americans you say one thing you say you say anything and they make it about them right they come in and then they make and they don't understand the reality and we don't even know what air conditioning is in europe but all this shit it's exhausting just save it just nobody fuck you know how it's a trope that old men talk about the weather and that's a joke and the point of that is you'll be like oh it's gonna rain oh we really need it and that's tired and nobody cares it's the exact same shit when you go on tiktok and talk about how it's 26 degrees celsius and 70 humidity and you've never been this hot in your life but no one fucking cares talk about something interesting talk about the new nail polish you bought or whatever the i don't care there's a reason nobody cares when old people talk about the weather it's the same reason nobody cares when you talk about the weather shut up and all the americans who engage with this obvious rage bait also showed up.

1:01:21I can say confidently I've never commented on a single one of these. And I used to look like I'd watch the video and then go into the comments and be like, yeah, yeah, humidity, yeah. Now if I see the video, I just scroll. And I might even do the thing where it's like, I'm not interested in this. This is a stupid topic. Scroll. Whatever. Don't engage with it. It's fucking awful. There's tons of stuff that's funny on the internet. Look at the funny stuff. God, I don't care how hot it is in England. A little anecdote about that before going to you, Wade. One thing that the Nordic countries don't fuck around with is saunas.

1:01:55I went in one while we were up there in Norway and I step in and it's like, you know, that kind of sauna where you're just instant sweat. And I'm like, okay, all right, let's sing. And there's a timer that's really, really optimistic. It has 15 minutes on it. That's a sad time. Real, real optimism. and I sit down there and Amy's there too and she's up on the higher seat which I didn't realize what the temperature difference would be she's like can't take it more than five minutes I'm like I'm still going strong and I'm like head down between my knees at the low step like I got this I can take it and I look up at the thermometer there and I'm like it's only 80 degrees oh no that's my vision deep like wait a minute 80 degrees what's that oh that can't be wait boiling water 800 degrees fahrenheit in here i step up because i'm like how hot could it be up higher where that thing is and i go up to the seat where amy was where i was looking at her like ah she tapped out early i'm so tough i take one step up and i think i died i was just like i thought i exploded it in the heat like it's just like there was a gradient where sweat just like it like immense more as my head just lifted up like it felt just like my upper body melting so i left immediately after that yeah dude that that feeling is wild i've never i didn't do i've never done a nordic one but i did that i told the russian bathhouse story a long time ago on this but and the one that one was like it was tears but there was also like the heat came out of the middle and it was wider so you could sit off to the side but it was like a fucking jet engine that feeling of when you hit the real hot part of a sauna is kind of terrifying it's horrifying i've never been into a sauna so this i've never experienced that well because i'm imagining this is a smaller one too right all these nordic ones are very like uh it was a hotel one so it had it was decently sized like not as big as my room here but like maybe half this size anyway wait a last minute uh entry into the slander.

1:04:06You save up your $1 ,200. You buy a plane ticket. You leave CVG. Fly all the way to Rome. You go over to Vatican City. You've paid a lot of money to get there. You got your hotel. Finally, there he is. The guy with the robes. He's stepping out and... Dude, I could have driven six hours to Chicago to see a Chicago guy. And now the Chicago dude's just all of a sudden the Pope. I flew all the way out here to see the Pope and he's just some dude from Chicago. This isn't nearly what I thought I was going to pay for. Now they're plucking their popes from us? Who's the one in charge? Who's the one in charge?

1:04:39Who's picking these guys? Because I need to talk to that person. It would be the College of Cardinals. I think they have maybe a fax machine you could reach out to or something. All right. Well, I didn't know birds could go to college. You know, in the U.S. of A, they cannot. Makes a lot of sense that that bird's be picking the pope. I think that they're making a lot of mistakes over there. Because, one, Chicago is one of the three worst American cities. Not biased because I'm from Cincinnati, which, you know, It was kind of fucked over by Chicago in the trade back in like the 17, 18 hundreds or whatever, but like a little, a little, but it's not.

1:05:07They ruined everything by existing. Why are we going all the way to Vatican city to see some dude from Chicago? He didn't have the right kind of pizza. They could have at least picked a New Yorker. Oh, speaks Latin. And also don't you dare bad mouth Chicago style pizza. Whoa. It's the worst kind. That's just not even true. Not the kind I'd eat. And I'm a guy that likes extra sauce. Well, Chicago is very saucy. Wade, I'll give you another bonus round here Because I want to talk about it Do you know that there's a constant argument that flares up on social media Every few years Where Europeans say Americans don't have bread Yes I hate that one as much as I hate the temperature one It's awful I've heard the comment, I've never looked into it I didn't know it was a constant issue It flared recently, again, for some reason Where it's like Americans don't have bread Don't they watch Distractable?

1:05:52I did a whole fucking episode on bread I know, I know We settled that The bread is actually really good I tried a disarmament of bread But then again I was doing this no carb thing So the bread I was eating was this keto bread for a while And I thought that was good That's not bread It's not bad I do eat that stuff Mark you're giving them more ammo to use against us I know the argument is America has bakeries also In our things In our food things It does say something Polly and I were excited to go to a bakery It's like, we're going to a French bakery. We're going to a Korean bakery. We're going to this definitely not American bakery.

1:06:32This is so cool. It is. I will like, yes, we do have bakeries here, but, and then the grocery stores and yes, people sometimes buy them, but there is quite a, I think we are actually beaten in this regard because Amy and I, we were on this like KLM flight, which is like the Dutch thing, the Royal Dutch Airlines. We have a Dutch bros. It's close. our meal I should you not was bread with bread a side of bread another bread and then they came around with a basket of bread and was like would you like some bread and so I I'm thinking I never got that in America where I got the five I get some extra plates my bread's touching my bread I man it was like it was some kind of muffin thing with then a cinnamon roll thing with then an actual piece of bread and then there was little bread bites things was there any protein in this meal?

1:07:23What the fuck is it? No, God, no. We got them crushed on protein. America is destroying them with protein. Oh, look, um... That's why ten of them can fit on a one-person elevator. No protein. That must be the problem. That makes it all make sense. They... Their asses kicked in the protein department, but they got... I will give them bread. We give them the old Fogo de Pal.

1:07:49Would you like it rare or well done? Since we're talking about TikTok talk or whatever internet trends can i say how funny it is when to watch videos of when europeans realize why americans think that nowhere in europe is far away from anywhere in europe that and especially this is another one sell out british people right where they'll be like oh i went on the fucking i went on a road trip i drove two hours to the north of england where i had to stop a couple times and americans are like i drive two hours each way to fucking work i commute 80 hours a week across texas and the europeans were always like ah you idiot and then everyone who visits is like we flew to new york and i thought we'd just drive like drive to orlando drive to los angeles like we'd make like a trip of it and then we fucking got there and it's it's so far like yeah dude are you guys familiar with maps or damn i i was i was in norway and i was like hey there's there's a city in eastern europe that i think we could add on to our trip i had a reason to go out there um and i looked it up i was like how far could it be oh man it's four countries away two hour flight i was like oh fuck yeah all right man so we just added another country onto our trip so it's like from cincinnati to atlanta it's like an eight hour drive yeah yeah it was nice it was great so exactly that on so um yeah no it is not as not as big as one might think i saw a funny thing apparently england would only be the 10th most uh grossing economy if it was enlisted with all the american states which is pretty good like top top 10 but i think that's just our states that's just some of our states the whole shitload of states the 57th state england could be hey think about it think about it england you left the eu you could be part of the states right across the american ocean with the east american ocean or the west american ocean i don't know i'm not very good with compasses compass i'm never good with compass i it's whatever one south of america land up there america or ant merica that didn't work all right we're calling it america has won the game or something like that i'm not that's i backtrack a little bit erase your memories for the past 13 seconds.

1:10:0814. Fuck. For 20 feet. America, we got you beat. Wait, hold on. Oh, God. None of them other countries never know what they're talking about. America is the best and the smartest country in the world. We got you beat. This way. That way. We got you beaten gross. We got more nets. We got more proffers and coffers. All right. One, two, three, four. I hope you get the 13. All right. Bob, you got points for shirt. You got a point for Kings Island, James. You got a point for going first. There was a point in there where I was telling the Amsterdam story, and you guys made me laugh really hard. I gave you three points.

1:10:56It's just funny times three, so I'm giving you three points for that. Elevators down, I guess. Homunculus-sized human. Flight was leaving 10 minutes ago. temperature bitches, and then Europe small. Gives you 11 points. Wade, I've written down here, me, because I think you said it funny. Oh, whatever you wanted to see, wanted to go first with the Europe thing, maybe, or small talk? I don't know, one of the two. Oh, it's small talk. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And then Cincinnati Symphony Star Wars, 500 on Iago, was very funny. I gave you two funny points while telling the story. Frankfurt, Gary, just put sugar in your milk.

1:11:33Conservative talking points, my country. Chicago Pope and food to pow Which puts you at 11 we are actually Tied up which I didn't think there was a case Oh it's time Oh you haven't done a one man show in a while right Oh my god guys please No it's tied there's no way That it'll be we're not in charge of this There's no way Look if we get another one man show Maybe the next episode is just an emergency Constitutional convention where we get rid of that Completely and make up something way less Yeah yeah yeah Yeah. Anyway, how many spins will they'll be? Probably a good number. Better not be two.

1:12:09Oh, three. All right. All right, perfect. Immediate tie. We'll put the new thing as last person in Europe. What if the host is the most recent person in Europe? Do we just not count it then, or do we? I'll get a point. Well, if it's most recent and it's between you two, it would be then between you two who is the most recent. I think you and Mandy technically left Amsterdam a little bit later than Molly and I. So you were there longer than we were. Well, because we stayed in London for like three or four more days after that. Well, were you staying before or after London, the UK left the EU? No, they're still in Europe.

1:12:43Most of what I said was about England, so I'm going to say that. That's part of Europe, obviously. Ben number one. I don't know if Frankfurt Gary is in the EU or not. It is. Most angry. Wade, you were pretty angry about Frankfurt. Oh, those lines sucked. Man, I was going to say, I went on a little bit of a tirade, but... About the temperature, yeah, you did. You were going to be angry about the flight left 10 minutes ago, but you did get on the plane. Yeah, so I think, Wade, you got the angry ones. I feel like that's kind of fair, yeah. I'm primed to finally win for the first time in like two months.

1:13:17Spin number two. Frontrunner, baby! You can't take my crown! Wearing least clothes. Shorts, underwear, shirt. Socks, shorts, underwear, undershirt. shirt oh wow it's another for wade oh my god you're just gonna give it away for free wait please do it also i'll give away for free subscribe to mine i saw i saw an entry on the wheel that said screwed from the start and i i don't know what that one means it almost landed on it i don't remember what that means that's gotta be a me point i just claim it it's either it's birth or the episode it's not untrue kind of all right and golf rules did anybody i i have I've been repeatedly dropping this, but I've been dropping it onto a bean bag that keeps it quiet.

1:14:03So I have an item. Wait, Wade walked out of frame, took his headphones off and then dropped them on the desk. Mark, you're supposed to be biased towards me. What are we doing here? Don't worry. The handshakes will even it all out in time. But right now, congratulations. the losing streak of all time. Yeah. Had a whopping, I think, eight losses before another win by weird technicalities, one-man shows, all these things. Lots and lots of losing. The biggest loser. Now a winner. Lloyd. Congratulations. The last time I hosted an episode was March 17th. I don't know when that episode came out, but that was the last time I physically recorded an episode that I hosted that wasn't a one-man show.

1:14:49I've had family message me and ask when I'm gonna win again people come to the streams and they're like Dude, what's happening? You lost it like you ever gonna win again? I've been down and counted out, but we are so back, baby And I really hope we're not recording another episode today because I've got nothing in the bank But when I do just you betcha it's gonna I think wade had written a loser's speech ahead of time and he had to quickly modify it to be a winner's speech. All my family are so depressed about me, and frankly, I don't blame them. Well, I was leaving the whole podcast if I lost one more time, but since I won, I'm kind of like obligated to do at least one more, so I'll have to share that the next time.

1:15:33All right, Bob, loser speech. Look, you may think I have things in this world, but all I actually had was the losing streak from when I lost X number of coin tosses in a row. I think it was 14 in a row. 13 or 14. That was all I had in the world. And you took it away from me. For what? Because your family texted you because they were bored because they only want to hear you talk on our podcast. Whatever. That was it, man. Now what do I have left? I don't know. I guess we'll see. We'll see what Bob shows up for the next recording session. See how this turns out for everybody. I guess we'll see. When I first went in two months and you're like, you piece of shit.

1:16:16Yeah, you took, I can't believe you took that from me. You absolute scoundrel. Don't worry, Bob. I will do my utmost to make sure that you get to start a losing streak next. I appreciate that, but it's a little bit too late. You sort of ruined everything already. I mean, whatever. Let's see what happens. Yeah, well, whatever. You can all cheer up your own miserable lives by going to distractible.shop and getting yourself one of these beautiful shirts. Support the podcast. Support your favorite losers. That's us. And support yourselves. by having this shirt and getting it for your body. This has been Markiplier, Wade, who people are confused why we go Lord Minion777, also known as Minion7777.

1:16:58Because Lord Minion was taken on Twitch, so my Twitch streaming name is different than my YouTube name. You know you can email them about that. I did, and I think I have access to Lord Minion Twitch. I really want it. I kinda like being Minion more than Lord Minion, but like, what am I gonna do, message YouTube and be like, give me Minion? Yeah, they could do that. They probably could do that. Yeah. What's the guy who owns YouTube now? Shman-Smancy? Shmancy? What? I don't think it was Dan Clancy. I don't know who's in charge of YouTube anymore. Yeah, yeah, Dan Clancy. Dan Clancy owns Twitch and Glom Shmancy owns YouTube.

1:17:29I think you're right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right about that. Yeah. Bob at MySkirm. And you at yourself when you are being beautiful, which is all the time. I'm not talking to you, Wade. Podcast out.

1:17:48This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. Can you hear that? It's the calm, sugar, white, sandy beaches of St. Pete Clearwater. And if you listen closely, you'll hear the mmms coming from the epic restaurants, the cheers from sun-soaked music festivals, and the beat of our legendary nightlife scene.

1:18:37Before you hit play on your next song, text the group chat. it's time to plan a trip to St. Pete Clearwater. Learn more at visitspc.com.