Anything Goes (Part 2)

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1:25Exclusions apply. For licenses, see homedepot.com slash license numbers. This episode of Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay, how do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit T-Mobile.com slash home internet to check availability Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data Exclusions like taxes and fees apply Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data Exclusions like taxes and fees apply Service delivered via 5G networks Speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks Guarantee exclusions details at T-Mobile.com slash home internet Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers And welcome to Distractable This episode, makeshift mark kicks off displays the new merch, then tells his horror story of consuming babies.

2:27Weekender Wade refuses hospice cohabitation, clubs balls, praises the bangles, and earns dick as an assistant. Blameworthy Bob has a warm pond, a mute mind, and quotes a Nana's meme. From altered images to Californian philanthropy. Yes! It's time for Anything Goes, Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractable. Oh, was it recording? Now is it going? All right, cool. Hello and welcome to Distractable, the podcast where you come for laughs, goofs, and maybe a few heartfelt boo-hoos every once in a while. Have we ever made anyone cry on this episode?

3:22God, I hope so. God, I hope so. Probably. Well, I'm your host, Markiplier. The guy you know, the guy you love. All the listeners, you know my voice. All the viewers, you know my face. You know my eyes. They know your soul. They know my soul. And I know theirs. Intimately. What's wrong? I like what he's got going on here. A little indigestion, I think. Oh, indigestion. That's funny. Boy, do I have a story about that. All right, just steal my story. I guess you go for it. I won't not yet. Not yet guys not yet anyway How are you guys my fellow hosts my fa I can't look at that anymore. Hi. Oh, thank God I'm comforted.

4:06I like when you make a lot of eye contact. It makes me feel confident Good good a lot of real genuine not at all disturbing eye contact. Yep. Yep. Yep indeed I did that my yawn Double it or nothing Double my yawn All right, this is Distractable the game show where I'm gonna be hosting and subjecting these two to my whims Where's my point keeper? Fuck

4:38Always love when you come prepared WAAAAAAAHHHHH Fuck Hold on. I didn't know I was gonna be recording That's true to be completely fair to him. He had no idea he was about to have to be recording That's true. We've had about an hour's heads up. We were doing stuff. What are you giving a hard time for? All right. Yeah, fuck you mark idiot. Ah little mean that's a little horribly cruel Yeah, he's hosting man. You should go easy on him. Oh, you're right. You're right. I'm gonna write some points here Grubbing out an address first, but then I'm gonna

5:12I'll get you some points You got points for 6817 Markiplier Drive Yes, I own my own road Keep telling you, man It's hard to stay inconspicuous when you live on a road that's named after your own self Oh, they would never assume They would never assume That's why I live on NotWade's Avenue It'd be, like, stupid in every conceivable way but how funny would it be if you just maybe even if it wasn't you if someone was like oh god I love Markiplier I'm gonna rename one of the streets in my town to Markiplier Avenue and then just droves of people just show up and they're like Mark lives here right which house is Mark's and all the poor idiots who live on that road I mean it's not their fault but fuck those guys look maybe back in the day my fans would be rabid enough to do that but they're real chill nowadays they're real chill nowadays I don't know Anywho, I gotta write points for who insulted me?

6:11Who insulted me? Me. Wade, did you insult me? No, Bob insulted you. I was... I baited him into insulting you. That's points, right? Well, I'm deducting points. Yeah, get him. Who? Me. Okay, that was agreement. Alright, Wade. Alright, minus one point to Wade. Alright. Man, I can't believe how well that worked. Man. I was trying to reverse follow... nevermind. Fa la la la la la la la la I'm fine So I have some small talk Which many of you know and many people have had questions about But I'll let you guys go first Just to bait the engagement To drive up the viewership and the listenership Which is more valuable than the viewership maybe Well mine's meant to follow yours up But you know what I'll lead off with it Because it's your fault What the fuck You're not doing well Wade You're not doing well Yeah well I'm gonna get you even more So over the weekend Molly and I had a really really wonderful lunch on Saturday.

7:07We went out like to a park had lunch got some shaved ice and Came home and I decided to go upstairs and change into like some shorts I love sitting in basketball shorts get comfortable and I got upstairs and I got hit with like just the craziest nausea dizziness vertigo spell I've had in a long time and It's like oh man that sucks. Well sit down for a minute and shake that off and It didn't go away. It lasted six hours or something. Damn. And Molly's like, do you think you need to go to the ER, the hospital? And my reasoning was no. Mark's there. People are going to say I'm just copying him. So if I die, it's this guy's fault.

7:48He hasn't texted back so he might still be there for all I know. I can't be in the hospital same time as him. That's his content. Yeah. If anything bad had happened to me, it would have been your fault because I was like, I can't go copying Mark and go to the hospital. I'm deducting a copying point. Okay Yeah I get it I get it Well okay wait No I shouldn't deduct You didn't copy But I'm gonna have this I'm gonna put this Under a lie category This is a lie Copy point Deduct Lying the deduction Of a copy point This is I'm lying You don't make it worth Twice as much Cause I would've copied I would've done it I would've glad I'd done it Well I mean If it lands on the If it lands on the Spot in the wheel Then this lie Could either count As a point for you Or doubly against you So That's true Alright That lie might go hard if you get lucky yeah i need to denote things that are lies all right bob before i get to my my hospital story oh you know i really not that much i'm still sick i made james's life i we i had to clean the hot tub and it got really hot and so i was like it i emptied it but then i didn't clean it then i filled it back up and james loves it so now we don't have a hot tub we have the world's smallest pool because kids aren't supposed to go in hot dubs it's not good for them because they're tiny so we just keep it at like 90 degrees or whatever some like warm pool temperature it's the fucking it's the best thing he's ever experienced kid loves just going under the water falling down scaring his parents thinking he's gonna drown coming back up laughing about it you know kid stuff you made james alive that is true that's true in at least two ways you'd think that would be worth two points but it's not you also might think that i would have done some other stuff since the last time we all talked and hung out but i mean i hit some i hit some golf balls wade was there for that that's yeah that was pretty fun yeah i was good i was good at it three times you did great man you did really you did really good good oddly enough i was winning one round and then i forgot to play yeah then it was right near the end and you were like i'm not gonna do anymore and then no one hit any more golf balls for a while i was very very bad and i had one around where i was like actually i'm doing okay and then yeah we just kind of were like what if we talked instead and we all forgot about the golf part it was fun it was a good time yeah that does happen not to me i wasn't there i wasn't invited you live well shit far away and also we're in the hospital or whatever happened you don't know what happened yeah well you won't tell us yeah we know that our text would ignore it and you were like oh yeah by the way guys sorry missed this i'm fine like days later look a lot of people texted me we both saw your instagram post and we're like oh god i hope he's okay a lot of people texted me look people texted me they're like is marco kiddo's like i don't know he probably just needs content it's actually just a room you put together in your own house just here I'm gonna tell you about it, but before I tell you about it, I gotta show you guys something.

11:00This is just for the viewers Oh Get the pixelation ready editors Oh wow I saw a picture of that, but I didn't know it existed. Oh, it's flipped man Why did I set all this up just to be able to do this?

11:19Look, it's just not time right now that bit is gonna totally pay off It's gonna be so funny Sometime later it's gonna be time For that and it's gonna be hilarious Ah yeah okay alright Meanwhile people can see on the wider angle The absolute mess that my Room is It's really not that bad This is the filter to look like Michael Jackson at the end of Thriller When he looks up and his eyes are all fucked up This is just that filter Look at this Oh my god Is this what you think it is? Listeners, I would describe what I'm looking at to you, but I don't know if I'm allowed. Yeah, you are. Why wouldn't you be allowed?

11:59All right, Bob, you got it. I would describe what I'm looking at to you, but I don't know if I have the words to capture such immense, inconceivable beauty. It's the Triangle of Fairness shirt, I believe. I think it's also reversed in the camera, so I'm looking at it backwards. We already said that. That already was talked about. Not live. literally like 30 seconds ago I said like whoa it's flipped I was talking about that I said that wait do you remember how I sat down was like man why did I set all this up be the immediate thing I said before that was that's flipped why did I do all this for that because I don't believe you I'm too good of a listener you know if you're a representative of all the listeners no wonder we give him so much shit.

12:43Listeners, rise up! And do nothing like a me. Like a me. It's a him. Your leader. Alright, like a me. I'll give you one for that. Like a me. But not for listening. I want to be very clear. That's not a listening point. Alright, but I'm wearing the official distractible merch. I bet you guys wish you had some of these. You'll have to buy it off the website if you want a piece of this. Look at this! The Seuss! The Seuss? Is that the Seuss Backwardly in Chris Oh my god. Are you really okay? Hold on. Does it say assembly instructions? The Seuss I mean the editors flipped it for everyone I'm assuming but you guys are man.

13:26Yeah, Mark's just trying to make us look stupid Have you ever heard of the ship of the Seuss? I like this one. No, it looks good. Yeah, it's pretty good They both look good and then we got this one as the last one Ooh, look at that fancy boat. We had two people make designs for the ship of Theseus, and they were both so good that we kind of just went and made both of them. If you take threads out of one of the shirts of the ship of Theseus and switch it with threads from the other shirt of the ship of Theseus, are they the same shirt? This is just a damn good shirt. This doesn't even say distractible.

13:57We kind of fucked up with this one because people are just going to buy this because it's a good shirt, but it doesn't say distractible anywhere on it. There's no distractible whatsoever. I don't think there's anyone alive who would hear about the ship of Theseus and not immediately think Oh, I know that from hit podcast distractible. Yeah, you gotta you gotta put that in guys when you can't just go to the website buy that one because it's It's about distractible, right man. We we messed up Not even the back of the shirt. There's no distractible anywhere. No, no, there's I think actually maybe on the collar Yeah on the collar.

14:33It's printed. Do you see it right? Oh Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah, I see that. There we go. Distractable. There. So, it's on there. It's on there, yep. It's happening. And finally, God, how long has it been? Honestly, possibly like a year. I don't remember. It's been so long, I'm not even sure we ever had merch. Yep. I don't think so either. I don't think we did. Ignore the distractable merch sitting behind me. Anywho, my story. so uh i was in the hospital and i want to preface this no matter how much you guys make fun of me for what i'm about to say understand this was easily one of the most painful experiences of my life okay right that's pretty high bar for you it is yes it was actually it was actually one of them it might have if if it lasted any longer it would be number one uh but yeah so i I was eating carrots.

15:28Classic mistake. You guys know how I don't chew that good. No, I thought you changed that behavior years ago. I thought we talked about this. Were you eating baby carrots or whole horse carrots? Baby carrots, baby carrots, baby carrots. They were soft and chopped up. I like how online people called it me relapsing. Like I relapsed and not chewing. Like, go easy on me, relapsed. Anyway, so I was playing a hilarious prank on Chica. And this is karma, right? this is all karma so i was i took a baby carrot and i don't know why first thing in the morning this is like right i woke up i went to the fridge grabbed a handful of carrots and i was like yeah this is good breakfast and i'm like it's not the worst thing but i was like i'll do that and then i went over to chica i munched one down and i went over to chica like oh i'll play a funny prank on her so i pick up her paw and i secretly pop a baby carrot in my mouth and i go up to her paw and go, crunch!

16:21And she goes, oh. She really does the whole, oh. Dorks. Um, so it's like, that was really funny. So I'll do it again, right? And I haven't swallowed any of it yet because, you know, I was still playing the prank. Only one can't pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time. So I pop another in, secretly, and I go crunch, and she's like, she puts her other paw, like, on my hand, like, no, please! Stop! Stop! mom so i do it again and then i think by then she gets it i think she saw me put the carrot in and then i then i put her paw down and i put another carrot and i'll crunch it down i'm like see it's not that bad i get done with that crunch a few more times see i was chewing a little bit but the thing was i was in the middle of the joke so i did like four baby carrots at once and then i tried to swallow that all and it didn't go down very good and i it's like if you ever swallow something and it's like too much and you feel the pain of it goes down well that gets a lot worse the farther down it goes so what happened was um i got i had the baby carrots went down and then they just stopped right right around here dead center of my chest right so right in the center of my chest and i'm like ah shit this sucks ow this fucking hurts so i go to get some water and i know shit's bad when i tried to drink the water it doesn't go down it just right back up i can't even get water down oh i start to it starts to hurt even more and more because it's like your your esophagus has like peristaltic motion when you swallow it kind of is the same as the intestines where it's like rhythmic it pushes like it squeezes things down so it can get things done so it's squeezing and it's compacting it and it's compacting into a more dense ball of sharp baby carrot bit partially chewed baby carrot bits after about a few minutes i realized like holy shit this might be one this is unbelievably painful i am now convincing myself that maybe this is a coincidence and because the pain is just me literally just ah and strangest thing and i'm sure it's just the body's response to try to clear something out waterfall of drool just like i can't stop endless drool but i know i can't swallow it down because it won't go down so it's just so i'm i make it about like 10 steps towards uh the bedroom i think amy was still asleep at this point call it to amy and she runs out and and finds me huddled up against the couch clutching my chest just drool everywhere horrible sight she was horrified called 911 immediately we will bunch of paramedics come in there they take a look at me and i'm huddled over clutching my chest and I can barely get words out.

19:05Like when I say this is unbelievable, it was unbelievably painful. And I was just sitting there like, holy shit, is this how I'm going to die? And so they get an EKG, they see it's not heart, but it's like the pain's just like fucking, because it won't go away. Right. Cause it can't get down. It can't go around. So I take a wee woo ride down to the hospital where I have to try to explain people over and over. Yes. I've had a heart attack in my past i ate some carrots it's carrots i ate some carrots even the ambulance drivers who i convinced eventually came into the hospital and they were like he's got chest pain but it's not cardiac related he ate some carrots and the hospital staff was like just because you say it's not cardiac related doesn't mean it's not so they get me in there and i'm trying it's carrots Oh, it's carrots.

19:55Mark sitting in the ER going, I don't think this is how you fix a carrot. So I get in the hospital room and they're all very worried because it's like I am like nine out of ten pain clutching my chest, spasming. Ow. And so finally they do an EKG there and it's they're scared first because the first machine that they hooked up to me, was going BEEE She's dead! I'm sorry to tell you this, sir, but you're dead. So they reattach the leads and they do it again. So, and they're like, oh, this machine's broken. But in the meantime, they're just like, Oh, oh, another IV. And so I got one IV here, one IV here.

20:47Oh, it's carrots, it's carrots.

20:54they they make me think i'm dying so they they they they get the the they get a new machine in and they hook me up and finally it's like perfect blood pressure perfect sinus rhythm my heart has never looked healthier right so then they're like oh hmm okay all right well let's get a let's get the doctor and he'll talk to you and i'm still in agony so when the doctor comes in i'm talking to the doctor as if like he would know what my chart said or something like that so i'm like ah the pain because it was going up and down it pains back he's like whoa whoa whoa i don't even know you man i don't know your story where'd you grow up well you came in here i thought we were gonna do all right were you just hiding from someone or yeah i think it was just because they were in because when it's a chest pain they move so fast that they because you could die in a second uh So they didn't write anything down.

21:47So they just sent the doctor in. And so I had to explain to him through all the pain that I was eating carrots. And I played a prank on my dog. It's wrong. And it was like, oh, you got, oh, okay. All right. You got food. Oh, that makes sense. Very painful. I feel for you. We're going to get you some painkillers. So they got me some morphine. Helped a lot. They got me this thing called glucagon. Made up medicine. Definitely fake. This wasn't real. Anyway, they get glucagon in me. and that dilates your esophagus and i shit you not if that didn't work the solution to my problem he said i thought he was joking at first he was not joking drink soda and jump that was the second solution that's what they did for bugs bunny when he went in there after choking on carrots i mean honestly i i really because you know after they realized i wasn't dying he was like no try to make me laugh you know because i'm in agony and and so i'm trying i'm joking along too as much as i can And I thought he said, yeah, we'll give you some Sprite and we'll you'll jump up and down a few times.

22:48And I go, he's like, I'm serious. Yeah, well, yeah, that's that's the solution. Otherwise, they get an endoscope and they push it down or pull it out. But you have to go under for that. So they got the glucagon and they got the morphine. And I sat there for an hour while they're seeing if that worked. And then I started slowly drinking water. And at first, before the glucagon, it still wasn't going down. Then afterwards, it was like starting to go down. and then I got another whole bottle of water. As soon as it was gone, pain gone instantly. It was crazy, which makes sense because when I had bowel obstructions, as soon as it's gone and not like stretching your intestines or your esophagus, the pain's gone instantly.

23:26So I feel silly walking out of there because I'm walking out, you know, like no wheelchair for me, just like an hour after I came in with full wee woo, like everyone's like putting attachments to me. I was like, thanks guys. but definitely one of the most painful experiences in my life i don't know how my pain compared because it's totally different but i had i had sciatic nerve pain which basically like almost paralyzed one of my legs one time it just got really compressed and pinched that experience when you go in and like i was i was sitting in the waiting room crying like actively like shuddering like it was the worst pain i've ever felt and i and everyone in the waiting room was like why the fuck aren't they seeing this dude what's wrong with this guy because i just sitting there like like constant and the moment the when the doctors see you i'm sure they like the way you described it they see you and you have chest pain and they're like he's fucking dying everyone get in here all the machine boo in the moment they're like oh he's not dying everyone just fucks off and you're still you're still there like and they're like all right calm down sir you're fine uh all right can i get a full history can you go back to uh age of 13 if you could but and the huge switch from you don't feel any better at all but you feel like you're gonna die to the doctors being like we'll get to you all right calm the fuck down like you're gonna be fine like that doesn't feel great i it doesn't it's not very fun in my experience no not at all yeah i mean it makes complete sense and i the problem was i kept saying i have had a heart attack in my past but it wasn't because my heart was bad it was a drinking thing and then i have to explain that and they're like what does it mean i'm like half korean i get you know i can't process alcohol right what's korean yeah which korean what does that mean what does that mean so um yeah it took took a bit which half left right top bottom yeah that's that's what happened That's why I was in the hospital That's why all that occurred It wasn't my guts for once It wasn't, it was because I played a prank on Chica Yeah, I assumed you had like a battle obstructs or something Because you love to get those Because you were pulling a prank without a carrot in the world I can't tell if he likes that or doesn't like that I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it That's a lie, I don't like it You got two lie points right now That's a plus lie point though I've not even been the one to lie I don't think, unless I did anyway so yeah very painful uh same kind of thing uh as an intestinal blockage but yeah totally unrelated not anything to do with my past history i just hey chew your carrots there might be something else i'm gonna get a follow-up and they're gonna look i'm actually going to get an endoscopy just in case because if there's something else because i've had baby carrots before i'm not the best chewer but if there is something else they're gonna look just in case if there's like a lump or something like that, or some kind of like if I've had acid reflux and haven't noticed it and it's caused like scar tissue up there, you know, there's, there's a possibility this could be something else.

26:36So I am going to follow up except when I called the doctor to follow up. This isn't my normal doctor. Like some of them, they referred to me, call them up. I was like, Hey, I want to get a follow-up because I was in the hospital and they're like, all right, what for? I'm like, literally the attitude I got. Uh, well, I mean, I was in cause I had a blockage in my esophagus uh-huh and they said i should get an endoscopy you need to go under for that i'm like why yeah like what am i supposed to say that anyway they haven't called me back i think i called the wrong number or something you don't sound like you can afford to go under i don't know if we want to talk to you anymore sir yeah like they referred me to the doctor that they have at the insurance companies that evaluates your cases over there this guy doesn't even know if you have to go under for an endoscopy like we're gonna see him uh anyway so yeah that's that's my story i've never had that but that's honestly a fear kind of a a small time fear that i have in my head because i i i chew my food pretty well but i'm the i've had it happen where like i'm eating something i think you like take a big bite and then immediately as you're like finishing taking the bite someone is like oh hey i haven't seen you in years how you do it and i'm like like try and hork it down real quick because you're trying to talk or whatever i've had a couple times where i like it got down there and i started to feel the start of that pain and then i took a drink and i could feel the water just like sitting in my and for a second i was like oh my god can that happen but i'll like the couple times that's happened after a second it just goes poosh and flushes and i'm fine but i that sounds really awful i can't imagine that's like really unpleasant i doubt there's many foods that can do that i mean you'd have to be eating like chicken bones usually for something like that to happen i think carrots was probably the best thing for it because it's sharp like it's crunchy but it's not gonna tear my esophagus but like a chicken bone would if it was fractured or something like that yeah well and carrots are are not very they're not like water soluble right like if you're eating anything with like bread or starch and then you try and take a drink or even just your saliva it'll eventually dissolve a little carrots are a little more like don't do that they get more plump and firm and you know they keep growing actually technically yeah they they do kind of plump up but i remember that bill nye thing about he dipped a carrot in water and yeah i did that but i i think that all in all of the things that could do it which are like the hard kind of foods like that that's probably the better one to do it just harder to take care of all right my next episode idea is you guys are going to have a baby carrot eating contest.

29:14Whoever can eat the most baby carrots in one bite and swallow wins. Alright, a battle to the death. Mark's all stretched out, so it's really going to be skewed in his favor. Oh, I think I've got my glucagun right here so I can pre-glucagun. Clack, clack. I'm going to pre-gluc. I'm going to expand. I am not stretched out because I was eating some things and it's still kind of tender. Like it's sore to eat things, so I gotta eat soft foods for a little bit. You know who really wants to kill you are waiters and waitresses because they wait until right when you put a big bite in your mouth and you do like the first two choose.

29:51They're like, how is everything? Can I get you? You're like drinks empty. Like, do you need anything? You better say it with your words. If you do, I'm not going to notice your empty cup and you're like, I know, I know that's a standup bit and I know you're probably saying it, but I've never experienced that because there are many more often than not. I am not stuffing food in my mouth and I've seen you eat. I've seen you eat. It's every second. You don't breathe. You just eat. They want me dead. Your mouth is never empty when we go out to dinner together. I occasionally come up for air. They don't wait for that moment.

30:24It's always the biggest bite. And I swear they watch. They like creep around the corner and they're like, oh, he's about to take the bite. Let's see if they need anything. No, I honestly, I think Mark's spot on. I eat a lot. I'm like a big dude. I'm stereotypically. I eat a lot. I'm a big guy. You make me look like I don't eat very quickly and like I don't eat nearly enough food. I don't know how you do it, but I think it would be hard for a waiter to find a moment where you weren't in the process of shoving food in your mouth during a meal. I think that's a you problem. It's like the former president once said, eat fast and carry a big straw.

31:00Roosevelt, right? Yeah, I think that's what he said. Come here for all of your history knowledge, listeners and viewers. Did you see Eat Fast and Carrot a big straw or Carrie? I said Carrie, but Carrot's hilarious because of what happened to you. That's tragic because of what happened to you. That's what I meant. All right, you know what I mean? Scratching all this out. I don't want to do anything. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence.

31:38Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweetgreen's fall harvest menu is back. with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed.

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32:58All right, so it is now well into the episode. The laughs just don't stop, except they do now, because there's no time for really anything else. We got to go with an Anything Goes. Ah, darn it. I'm good at these. Okay, you go first. All right. What are we doing? Anything Goes. Whatever you want to talk about. There's things I could talk about that might not be topical. I could kick it off with something that is, but I also just told the big story. How are you going to let him off the hook when he just jumped in and told you he's good? All right, I won't let him off the hook. Don't let him off the hook.

33:31You're on the hook. You're on the hook. I want to talk about something. Our body design. I've been throwing football. I've been playing basketball. I've been swimming. I've been doing different things. And then like Bob said, we went and played a little bit of golf and my forearms hurt. I've been doing the sports. hurts so why i hurt why those muscles like not recognize i've been throwing football 20 yards for the last few weeks no swing a golf club for an hour and a half and you have to be sore i'm a little bit peeved that my muscles weren't more prepared for that because i've been training them you haven't been training them in golf no but they should know better by now like if i work them out in one way they should be prepared for everything because that's how body should work Brain tell body be prepared Body no prepared that's not my fault It didn't do it's homework that's not my fault It knew we were golfing like a month in advance But it didn't prepare It did not prepare Didn't even take a practice swing It's like it makes me do all the work And it's like why do we evolve this way I want to get out of there Okay so did I tell you about my I was tired and I had this weird brain Fart that made me question the nature Of my reality I don't think so So I was driving and it was like I wasn't dangerously sleep deprived but I was talking in my own head and I forget what it was exactly at this point that I said to myself but in my head you know you got the voice in your head right and I know some people say they don't and I don't believe them oh it's there so talk to myself in the car and I say something in my head that I misinterpreted I heard myself wrong and then answered my question the opposite of what I intended and I went back like, oh, no, that's not what I meant.

35:15And I was like floored instantly. I was floored because I was like, how did I mishear myself? Who's listening? I was like, who's listening that could mishear me? What? I was done the whole day. You're having a Dexter Dark Passenger moment or something. Yeah, I mean basically I mean they've they've said a lot and I've brought up like the the I don't think it's even the right term The bicameral mind. I don't think that's the right term for it But it's like the the the experiments for the the two halves of the brain like how one's kind of a silent passenger And it's like if I'm talking who is listening and how could I miss here myself?

35:54How could I misinterpret what I said in my own head? How is it possible because I answered the question that I asked myself wrong anyway did did both of yous like realize the whole time what was happening like one of you asked the question and the other one answered it wrong and the first one was like that's not what i asked you exactly yes it was exactly like that like no that's not what i meant and that's what happened it's like that's not what i meant and then both of us just went bonk wait who's listening who said who said that dude you are one precious lens away from smiegel goleming yourself i mean I think we all are you know I think Really we all are I'm really gonna have to stick To my guns and say that I just don't Have an inner dialogue I just actually don't you don't see Pictures in your no inner dialogue this Guy I don't I It sounds completely crazy to me The couple times in my life that I ever Feel like I've heard a voice That like wasn't a sound I was physically Making scared the shit out Of me it physically it like Scares me so much that I'd like go And I look around the house I'm like who the fuck what no i do feel like i'm talking in my head but it feels more like if i was sitting in an empty room and i was just like oh i gotta remember to do that thing later oh but it's it's just silent thoughts it's like i'm aware i would say it out loud if i if i was alone but i'm not saying it out loud so i'm just thinking it but it doesn't feel like i'm it's just a weird thing i feel like you're right i feel like i kind of agree with you that it's like a perception thing more than a different reality thing for people.

37:30But it really just doesn't, none of my experience lines up with the like, oh, I see pictures. Oh, I talk to myself. Like, I don't, I really doesn't feel like that. The majority of the time, I think it's like that, where it's like, it's not a conversation. It is just a passiveness that is applying, you know, words to what's around me. But many times it's actual, I have a conversation with myself all the time. I have conversations with myself too, but I don't hear my, like if I'm speaking out loud, it's different. It's not auditory. Whenever I'm thinking it's, it's in my voice and it's in the way I speak, but I don't hear myself.

38:05I don't know how to describe like the, the thought process of like, it's a conversation, but like it, it's lacking the auditory component while having the sensation of being auditory. I suppose that like, it's hard to interpret it one way or another, because it's like, you're not obviously not hearing it, but I don't like the sound of my own voice. I don't mind listening to my thoughts because it's not my voice. You could have a conversation in your head with different voices. Yeah, then I can kind of hear it if I'm trying to do a voice. But if I'm just having like a thought, it's not the same thing.