Bob's Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!)

0:00For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon forward sodas, even lemon forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth.

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1:30Wade:This episode of Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay, how do you guys know when someone's really your friend? I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit T-Mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G networks.

2:07Wade:Speeds very new to factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions details at T-Mobile.com slash home internet. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Beholden Bob calls COD, goes raiding, then ranks fun science facts. Microbial mark mourns man's best friend, poor Henry. Mentions moon bows, questions wetness and metallic camelopardalis. Whitening Wade upgrades his peen, blows away bushwhackers, sees glory holes and fears Zeus's bolts. From humbling heaviness to cosmic latte. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's time for... Bob's Top 5 Number two will shock you.

2:56Now sit back. I'm prepared to be distracted and enjoy the show.

3:07Hello, everybody, and welcome back to your guinea pig's third favorite podcast. That's right. You're watching Distractable. And if you're listening, this intro is not for you. Because we all know that you're the real heroes here. Hey, listeners, how you doing? Thanks so much for listening. We really appreciate you. I'm your host for this episode. My name is Bob. I've done this before, even though from my performance, you might question whether that's true. I have. I promise I have. I have won previous episodes. It is me, former winner, Bob. I'm joined today by my co-host slash competitors, just like always, Mark and Wade.

3:46Hi, I'm Mark. Howdy doody. Wade's the one that said doody. If you've never seen the show before the way this works is I am the host and I have like a game topic And I'm gonna give out points and then these two guys are trying to get points or not get points Because we've had a lot of golf rules for how hard it is to do golf rules on the show We've had a lot of golf rules coming out lately this episode My plan is for the highest number of points to win But we'll see what the wheel has to say about that and then whoever wins host the next one That's the whole thing. The points are very strictly calculated.

4:16It's basically science. This is basically an experiment It's tightly controlled and yeah, you'll see once we get going how it works. It's very very carefully planned out It's very thoughtful and the points are very important and The winner is a meaningful choice at the end because it's science But anyway before we get into the game that I have planned. How you guys doing? Hey Ben Got sad small talk.

4:42Wade:You want that? You want to kick this off with some depressing? discussions i'm here i'm here to talk about whatever you want man no i mean i'm gonna talk about more later unfortunately actually fortunately or unfortunately i'm not sure which way to to go about it but um this week is also the fifth anniversary of unisonous oh wow so we've had to plan uh that and it's it what's what's interesting about it's like we at first was like holy shit this is a whole bunch to deal with right now with Henry in the movie and all of it sprinting and having to stop and all these things. And then Unusana being like, oh, shit, we got to do that.

5:20Wade:But it reminded us very much about doing Unusana or maybe me. I might be putting thoughts into their minds, but I was thinking about it a lot and just kind of, oh, we did this when COVID happened. And in the moment, it's like, you know, you never know how it was going to be. And then we're just got to plow through no matter what. And then we finish away. So So we, by the time people have seen this, they've already seen what we did. So we had planned it for a while and then we did it and it was great. But it's like right now when I'm recording this, we haven't done it yet. So I'm hoping that everything I'm saying is true.

5:56Wade:It's going to be great. This is going to be so funny when someone is like, oh, wait, can we put, oh, no, can we do it next week? Wait, sorry. But it's been a time. No, man, that's crazy, though. five so five years ago it started yeah november of 2020 would have been when it ended right because you guys started in november of 2019 yeah right before everything bad happened in the pandemic yeah so it's it's technically been six years since we started it five years since its death and and so we have kind of had a loose plan but then all the plans are you kind of get to the moment where you're like oh shit we got to execute upon the plan uh how do we do this so yeah it's um it's been it's been a time lot of stuff going on lots of things happening and then the emotional burden of you know losing henry has been pretty tough but the work's been distracting and uh we've uh we've been moving forward from that you know not a lot of people realize like i've had chica for nine years we've had henry for seven oh really henry's been there a lot longer than people think but uh yeah so it was it was real tough there have been a lot of those year realizations like whenever um you guys had the wedding the fact that you and amy had been together for a decade blew my mind i was like no it's been like three to seven ten ten ten's the number actually it'll be pretty close to having uh chica for ten okay i gotta look up when i got her i should probably know that but yeah it's been so long it's easy to forget so uh i will have or will talk more about that, but with Amy, because, you know, I want to talk about Henry with Amy, so.

7:38Wade:That's so many things going on. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of things, but it's okay, we're managing. There's other people here to help, and this is nice to just get back into doing this. How are you, Wayne? And what a time to segue to Game of the Year! Is it going to be Ark Raiders or Expedition 33? I know what Shroud says!

8:02Wade:guys i've got relevant conversation what does shroud say what does shroud said oh single player only multiplayer should we call of duty 28 or expedition 33 no our creators on the day this episode comes out the new call of duty what black ops 7 comes out calling it now that's game of the year if they'd given us an ad read maybe but they didn't so all streamers are going to conclude together call of duty black ops 7 game that doesn't even exist yet instant game of the year instant classic all you need is more war zone baby i have been playing a bit of arc raiders it's very fun when i first started playing i don't know if it was because I was in like the safer areas but there was a lot of like friendly people it was a pvp game where you'd run into people that were just like hey I'm for I don't shoot I'm friendly I'm just listen I'm just collecting flowers just getting some flowers and we were like yeah hey we just need some olives and pears olives and pears we're cool that's nice but the longer I've been playing I've found more people that are just like hey we're friendly but be careful those guys back there betrayed us oh they'd overweigh we got you loser uh so we think I've had a couple of those moments lately where people have pretended to be nice and then immediately betrayed fun fun i love that in a game where you don't really gain very much by killing other players you just do it to be for funds typically they've got they could have better loot on them because they've already been looting around but but also you could potentially just get nothing and just anyway i saw a bit that i really want to do in our creators i saw this guy posting clips where he goes to the extracts and just stands out on top and is like i will protect you everyone come to my i am the extract hero and and like his whole bit is just like the opposite of extract camping where he's like this is a safe one come here and extract and like i want to be that guy because that's hilarious that is nice that is nice is it kind of like rust in a way it's pve it's like rust when it first came out that had zombies do you know enough about like escape from tarkov yeah yeah i think it's kind of like a more casual less like military sim tarkov it's like third person and you don't have you know 90 types of ammo and all this you have simplified like weapons and stuff but the the gameplay loop is there are robots on the map and it's pve but also you can pvp but you really don't have to and like i've had experiences where I was in a duo and we ran into another duo and we were like, well, we're cool, don't shoot.

10:43And then they were just like, let's go kill a big robot. And we went and found a big walking spider leaper robot and that was the first time any of us had killed one and then we extracted together. It was super cool. It's fun. But there's been plenty of douchebags also who are just there to ruin your time and PvP. It's part of the game. I'm not going to be one of those people who's like, you shouldn't do it. I just don't care for it.

11:06Wade:There's a map called blue gate in the center of blue gate. There's like an olive garden. It's not all of garden. What's it called? Olive It's called all of something. I don't know. It's the place where your family. Oh, are you thinking of Maggiano's little Italy? It might be Terrazano's oh, okay, but no there's like a little field of like trees where you go to get olives or apricots or lemons. It's just like a Oh, you meant You meant that there's Olive tree Yeah, but the place is actually called Olive something Olive orchard Craters Blue gate, olive Olive garden Olive grove Apparently it's called Olive Grove I thought it was called Olive Garden, my bad They did have breadsticks when I was there But anyway, we went to this Olive Grove It's like central in the map And in order to upgrade your cock Which you have to do in this game.

12:01Wade:Sure, yep. You do want to do that. What? Huh? What? Say again? You have to feed it. And at one point you need apricots and lemons. And then later on you need olives and mushrooms and more apricot, whatever. So a lot of the stuff you need is in this olive grove. And we went there and five teams converged there at once. And everyone was pretty chill except for one group. And we didn't really know what was happening. So we hear one group that's like fighting. We think they're fighting robots. And then one guy runs over to us. He's like, hey, those people over there, do not trust that group. They said they were cool, and then they weren't.

12:38Wade:Okay. That's cool, man. We're just here to grab some olives. Yeah, yeah, that's what we were here for too. But they went crazy for some reason. All right, well, we'll keep an eye out, but we're just going to go loot. And then he kind of ran off, and we hear him run back, and he's like screaming. He's like, oh, God, look out the leaper. Shoot it, shoot it. And we're like, it's not even mad right now. Why would we shoot it? And so I'm going to loot something. Basically, the dude lied. He was trying to bait us into shooting the Leaper so the robots would attack us so he could kill us and loot us.

13:09Wade:And then he tried that. And then another team came over after the dude tried to betray us and we downed him. And then he told the team, he was like, hey, these guys aren't cool. These guys told me they were friendly. Then they shot me. And we're like, this dude came over here. Like, you guys can res him if you want. We're not dealing with him. No, he tried to betray us. He tried to get us to fight the Leaper. But the dude was, he was selling so hard. Every story, no one believed him. So like all these teams kept converging. He was like crawling around to the ground like, hey, these guys betrayed me.

13:38Wade:And none of us were having it. They're like, we ran into them earlier. They were cool, man. We're not going to screw with them. Oh, come on. And then he just died. And we kept looting our olives. He just died. Yeah, but he was really committed to the bit. That's really funny. Anyway, Ark Raiders, not game of the year. unless unless shroud says so the lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything even our music that hit song named after the color of lemons not a coincidence big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years think about it but now seven up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda Now lime comes first.

14:267-Up. Flip the sip.

14:54featuring Fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app.

15:01Wade:This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah. We all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door because Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them or the FBI? I'm not 100 % sure. Yep. When it really matters, whatever it is You show up Where there's a will, we're on our way Uber, on our way Download the app today Yeah, well you guys want to play a little game? Sure, sure Oh, should we make a disclaimer that We're trying to catch up on episodes So the episodes for the next few episodes Are going to be a little shorter than usual We're just trying to make sure that we get back up and running Without having to blow everything up Today's game is called 20 Fast Questions Oh no No, I'm just fucking with you I was originally going to call it that But I'm not doing that No, this game, I found this list And it's one of those lists of like Oh, it's 158 fun facts that will blow your mind And I started reading it And almost none of them blew my mind But I did find five fun facts That I thought were interesting enough That I was like, ah, cool And so I made a list I made a tier list, you could say.

16:23I made a ranking. One through five of these five fun facts. And I want you guys to see if you can match how I ranked them. We're going to talk about the fun facts real quick. And then you're just going to make your list. So there's five things. So it's one through five. One being the highest, five being the lowest. We're just going to talk about them. And then at the end, I will give your ranked list a score. And then that will be how we determine who wins.

16:48Wade:Okay. So pretend I wasn't listening to the first half of that the most important information Pretend I wasn't wrestling with getting a cable off the ground five things five things five things five things Five things. Okay. Five things. I have a list and they're ranked one through five one is good five is Less good. Okay. I'm gonna we're gonna talk about them and you guys are gonna rank them That's the whole thing at the end. I have a system more in there. No, no So I just, at the end, I have a system for how I'm going to score your lists. That's it. Fact number one, a rainbow on Venus is called a glory.

17:26I really wish it was on Uranus that it was called a glory, but a rainbow on Venus, which is not the planet Uranus, is called a glory, appearing as a series of colored concentric rings. These are caused by the interference of light waves within droplets rather than by reflection, refraction, and dispersion of light, which is how a rainbow is made on Earth. So they look similar because it basically breaks the light out into rainbow of colors, breaks it out, and it looks like a rainbow, kind of. But it's called a glory. That's pretty cool, right?

18:00Wade:Yeah. Yeah, I just got caught up in, you know how a rainbow is kind of like a bridge in design? Sure, sure. Is that a glory hole? Well, an Earth rainbow is a glory bridge. but a venus rainbow is a glory hole all rainbows are circles but we only see part of it that's why a moon bow you can see a full circle is that a thing yeah moon bow yeah you've never seen a moon bow i played fran bow back in the day that's that's good give him a point okay hey i'm just here man well i was i'll be right back all right uh if you see a moon bow usually it's easier to see with a full moon and if it's straight up in the sky you can see a full halo uh around um which is like when you think about the rainbow it's not just a structure it's not just a bow it's not just that it would continue if the earth wasn't in the way what causes that on the moon though is it our atmosphere causing that yeah because there's no atmosphere on the moon right so yeah it's the same thing you need the same kind of similar uh scenario you need like moisture in the atmosphere but enough to not be blocked and it can hit it it's it's very pretty when it happens last time i saw it i was up in uh idle wild with amy i've never seen that that sounds really cool it is it's very cool yeah but you gotta like you could be out at night you know i don't know how many times you're out at night looking up at the moon i do i honestly i do that i like having like i have a fire pit you sit out you have a fire you look at i'm in a an area in cincy where like it's pretty there's a lot of light pollution so i don't get like the best view of stuff but yeah i do like looking at when we used to go camping in northern michigan going down by the water and just staring up at the sky because you could see satellites you could if the iss was like in the right location you could see the iss go overhead it's very cool i used to do it all the time never saw a moon bow that's one of the five things you have no reference right now but you could pick a spot for where you think that might be but the next fun well wade's not here let's talk about it without him okay the next fun fact is that fish form orderly cues in emergencies scientists have observed that schools of neon tetra fish when evacuating through narrow passages in sketchy or otherwise uh like dangerous situations where they're trying to escape from something, they will form an organized queue so that they don't run into each other and clog up the little passageway, and they stay organized even while they're panicking and escaping until they all escape safely.

20:39That is interesting.

20:40Wade:Are these all true? Is this far true than a lie? I'm not going to say I went and found all of the academic papers, but these are all purportedly true things. and I'm realizing now they're all generally kind of science-y things because I guess the only facts I find interesting are science facts. Did we learn anything other than Uranus? Rainbows? I don't know. You weren't here, so I had to help someone who was lost Yeah, okay Well, they were. Delivering my food Well, uh So we did the Venus rainbow Venus glories and then the one Mark and I just talked about And now we're going to do the third fact Third fun fact.

21:19Did you know that water might not be wet this is a philosophical one i've heard that yeah this but this is a scientific perspective on it most scientists would define wetness as a liquid's ability to maintain contact with a solid surface so like a towel is wet because because of surface tension and other qualities of the towel the water stays absorbed into it right it's connected to that solid surface. That means water's not a solid surface and water just is water. There is no water on water. Water is water. So water can't be wet then if by this definition from this perspective, potentially.

22:03Wade:Yeah, I've heard this before too. And I think where this rubs people wrong is there's a generally accepted life experience with water that it in almost every scenario where a human is interacting with water, makes things wet feels wet is generally wet so for it's you know it's like it's like pluto you know you're technically right of course but everyone's life experience had pluto being the the planet at anyway it's uh can't get our nine pizzas without pluto how is eight pizzas any worse than nine

22:49Wade:You alright? No, I think you broke a spark plug in my brain Yeah, so it's like They can be technically right all they want It really won't change people's Experience when dealing with water They're not going to go like, oh don't worry, that water's not wet Don't be afraid. But it's not wet, Mark. Because it's certainly not dry. Water needs to be wet. Just because it makes you wet doesn't mean that the water is wet. But would it be considered dry then if it's not wet? Is it dry? The water is dry until it interacts with a solid surface, but then the water is still dry. This is the question. We need to come up with a definition for when water has physical objects in it The water makes things wet What do things make water?

23:43Ah! Ah! One of my spark plugs Oh no, no Oh, we're losing so many spark plugs on this one Come on

23:51Wade:This is a terrible fact I hate this I love this It's a fun fact Wait, it's a philosophical discussion But a bad one Listen, there's bad philosophy There's no such thing Well, I'm not gonna say that All right, fun fact number four. Did you know giraffes are 30 times more likely to get hit by lightning than human people? Makes sense. While there are only five actual well-documented fatal lightning strikes on giraffes between 1996 and 2010, due to the population of giraffes being just 140 ,000 during that time frame, roughly, That makes it about.003 lightning deaths per thousand giraffes each year, which is 30 times more than the fatality rate for human beings.

24:38Is it because they're tall? Probably, right?

24:41Wade:Yeah, I thought you were going to bait and switch us like it's not because they're tall. Giraffes live primarily in like deserts, I believe, where there isn't stuff. If giraffes lived in a city where there are, you know, 10 plus story buildings all over, I don't know if their height difference between them and humans really does much, but they live in a world where they're the tallest thing for miles around most a lot of the time. Don't they live in savannas? They don't live in Georgia Wade. Oh. Because, never mind. Is it savannas? I mean, am I still correct, though? There's not a lot of tall forests and stuff, right?

25:17Wade:No, no, they're very open. There's not a lot of trees. Relatively arid, I think. not necessarily jungle although I suppose they could I don't know if anything's stopping them yeah I have no idea what the actual defined habitat of a giraffe is it could be include jungles or things but oh they live in Chad no from Chad to North South Africa what's annoying is the places where there's color where they are they cover the name of that country and I don't know my geography this is useless you gotta find another map map of words and then Then compare map of giraffes to map of words. Anyway, I do think there's some bias in that because giraffes live in a place where they're easily the tallest thing.

26:04And humans are never the tallest thing. The world that we've created, even if it's like a nomadic people, humans live in, you know, I believe in Mongolia. They live in these big like traveling like yurt things where they, you know, there are societies where they're nomadic and they travel. but they still live in a structure that they erect that's way taller than people are.

26:27Wade:Savannas and woodlands, usually in like grasslands. South and Western Africa? My other theory was that giraffes might be partially made of metal. Maybe in 1987, all giraffes were replaced by the government, and it's actually a conspiracy. Really good iron intake in those leaves. Which government? The government. The world government, Mark. The world government? Okay, alright, okay. Obviously, the one run by the lobster people. Maybe something they're doing is generating static electricity. I don't know why, just imagine all the giraffes like shuffling their feet. Like giraffes don't pick their - they're all just like...

27:09And they're always really really zappy because they shuffle around a lot.