Choose Your Own Cousin

13:41Mark Fischbach:Because it's so funny. I spent the last two days at the pool, which was fun. I took it really easy Sunday and just kind of like floated around with Molly and relaxed. And then yesterday my nephews came by and we were tossing football in the pool So it's the first time i've really gotten to throw football since the knee injury

13:56Ethan Nestor:Isn't that sort of asking for trouble?

13:58Mark Fischbach:No, I was I was cleared for light activity and pool activity. So just lightly tossing It's not like I was diving or tackling or anything But it is that time I gotta take us into our episode because this one this one might run a little long I don't know. I spent a a long time putting this together, especially for me I spent three or four hours I was also probably like in a fugue state for the last half of it So God knows how this is actually going to play out, but it's a game and I put it together. I did. I put an effort, guys. I did. We'll see about that. Oh, I mean, good job. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

14:28Mark Fischbach:Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it'll be great. So I have built a choose your own adventure game and I'm not going to title it right now, but we're going to let you guys play through it. We'll see how it goes. This is my first attempt at doing this. So I told you guys before in this episode, it's probably a lot of me talking, but hopefully you guys can have some banter and fun in the middle of it and stuff, but I made a choose your own adventure and it's kind of, it's scripted out how it starts. So you guys, there's no flipping, you guys just kind of go in the order I wrote it out in. But my first attempt at putting the director's hat on, look out, Mark coming for your job.

15:03Mark Fischbach:I'm so ready. Mark, you find yourself driving through the countryside. You received word that one of your cousins who lives near here with his family has been going through a rough time and decided to pay him a visit. You two were close as kids and though you've grown a bit estranged, you still love them and want to offer some support. Now that it's into autumn, your drive is a beautiful one, with the leaves turning shades of red, yellow, orange, purple, and brown, while the green is quickly becoming overrun by these other colors. The weather is beautiful, there's hardly a cloud in the sky as you make your way down the country highway towards your destination.

15:34Mark Fischbach:You come across a scenic overlook, a nice place to stop, stretch your legs, and look out at the river bend. Your first choice is, do you stop and take a look at the scenic overlook or do you keep driving since you got places to be well you said

15:48Bob Muyskens:my cousin is in trouble and needs help he's had a rough year i would think i would keep going me me i would in this hypothetical just because i'm driving for a purpose it's i i'm enjoying the scene as i'm driving i don't need to stop dip my toes in a river or nothing like that i'm

16:05Mark Fischbach:i'm plowing on you decide to keep driving and evening it's later and later it starts to get little dark turn your headlights on you're going through a bit of a forest when all of a sudden out of nowhere an animal darts across the road something large you can barely see you go to swerve around it you maintain control of the car but you feel a you know something's wrong you're forced to pull off to the side and when you get out and go and check out the car you see that your front right and back right tires are flat you do have one spare but unfortunately it looks like you're kind of stranded. Shit.

16:42Mark Fischbach:You haven't seen a lot of cars out, especially this late, but you could wait in the car hoping somebody drives by. You don't really have great service. You're in the middle of the countryside in the woods, so cell service is a bit spotty. So your choice is to either wait in the car hoping somebody comes by and will give you some assistance, or you can hop out, follow the highway, hoping you come across a gas station or small town here soon.

17:03Bob Muyskens:Did I hit something? Is that what happened? The thunk thunk sounded really like I ran over the thing I was trying to avoid.

17:10Mark Fischbach:When you go to investigate, you can't really see what caused the tires to pop. Like, it seems like you must have. Maybe you hit some nails or something. The tires are pretty fucked up, but like, you don't really see what caused it.

17:21Bob Muyskens:Did I see where the nearest gas station was when I passed it? Do I know how long ago that was?

17:26Mark Fischbach:It has been a long time since you've seen anything the way you came from. You're assuming there has to be something not too far ahead, because just the way that driving works.

17:35Bob Muyskens:Do I know how far from my cousin's place I am?

17:37Mark Fischbach:Not exactly. you've not been here in a long time you would estimate a couple hours uh a couple hours by car um not necessarily maybe a couple hours walking okay all right uh what time is it it's dark outside at this point so we're probably looking at i don't know 10 11 p.m i'm guessing i don't have a phone this is you do but there's no service it's well do i got games on my phone i mean i'd imagine some especially so you can play offline like all right sweet sweet you know

18:03Bob Muyskens:there's at least two games you can play offline in 2026 all right i'm sticking in the car i'm sticking in that car. I'm sitting around waiting. You know, I got gas. I can turn on the heater if it gets cold. But better survival, I guess.

18:15Mark Fischbach:We're going to pause you there and we're going to go over to Bob. Oh, I thought I was just listening for this whole episode. Another day, another dollar. You've lived in this small town your entire life. The past few years, you've been working at a local grocery store as the lone member of the closing shift. Prices have gone up recently. People have been driving you crazy with their grumpiness. Or maybe it's your grumpiness. It's hard to tell. Life here is boring, The days blend into weeks, blend into months, so on and so on. The town's recently upgraded its power grid and now boasts high-speed internet.

18:44Mark Fischbach:Only you know that this high-speed internet is still 20 years behind the times anywhere else. Well, at least it's a step in the right direction. You're browsing your phone, waiting for your shift to end, when all of a sudden, this high-powered power grid goes out. Not the excitement you were hoping for, but it figures. Not like you wanted to finish reading that article anyway. do you go outside and investigate the power outage or wait inside hoping it just clicks back on

19:10Ethan Nestor:really been stuck in a rut i always keep the temperature in the store a little warmer than

19:16Mark Fischbach:i'd like is it a cool evening i would say it's still relatively warm outside it's into a fall at this point so it's not like blistering hot but it's a warm dry evening well if it's not humid

19:29Ethan Nestor:i guess i'll see what it's like outside maybe it'll be more pleasant than inside it's kind of stuffy in here. So peek outside.

19:35Mark Fischbach:You step outside and you notice that, I mean, it's late and you guys are one of the later stores around town. There's not that much to do. It's a small town after all, but you don't really see any lights anywhere. The parking lot's empty other than your bike that you typically ride to work. There's one car in the parking lot, which looks like one of your regulars cars, but no one's been in the store for a while. Otherwise, it's just kind of dark out there. The only thing that's of note is this car. I guess your choice is go investigate the car or go back and wait out your shift. I walk up to the car and test if it's locked just for security purposes.

20:15Mark Fischbach:You walk up to the car and you find that the driver's side seat is open. The door is just open. There's groceries bought from your store sitting on the passenger seat. You don't see keys. You don't see much else. Well, under your foot, you see a piece of paper. You pick it up and examine it and it's The Flyer. It says, meeting tonight at midnight at The Farm, with The Farm being capitalized. I mean, you know of the place they call The Farm. You're from here, and you know what they're talking about. But it's kind of strange. If there was a meeting at The Farm, and Mr. Hanley, whose car it is that you're seeing, he's one of your regulars, if he was going, why would he leave his car like this?

20:52Mark Fischbach:Why wouldn't he have just driven there, or at the very least, closed his car door and left? I guess you have a couple options. You could go check out The Farm, place you've been before or you can say you know what it's late not my problem i'm gonna wait lock

21:05Ethan Nestor:up the store and go home i mean i tell like we can sell anything anyway there's no power so i am gonna check and see if the keys are in the car there's no keys around unfortunately do i know how to hotwire the specific model of car you do not but you do have your bike yeah i guess i'll ride How far is the farm? How far of a bike ride is the farm? Not too far. Probably 10, 15 minutes. Oh, that's pushing. That's on the edge of the range. I'm willing to ride my bike just to see if anything is happening somewhere. I guess I still have to go see. I definitely don't want to stay at work in the dark with no power or anything.

21:46Mark Fischbach:Well, you can lock up and go home or you can lock up and go to the farm. Either way, you're probably going to lock up the store.

21:50Ethan Nestor:Yeah, I lock the doors so no one can just come and steal shit. and then I ride my bike over to the farm because it might be the first thing that's happened here in literally years.

22:00Mark Fischbach:As you're running to the farm, Mark, I'm going to cut back to you. Playing games. Playing games on your phone, waiting it out. As you're waiting, a car passes. You try to reach out and wave them down, but they keep going past you by. You wait a bit longer, and this time you see the headlights, you wave your arm out, and they kind of pull over, stop, and somebody gets out, kind of yells cautiously over.

22:22Bob Muyskens:Hello there, uh, do we need some assistance? You'll never believe it Oh man, this road's crazy How'd you avoid it? Both my tires Back ones exploded I've been here a long time, I don't know how long I was playing games, it was real fun Hey How do you help me? Hmm

22:42Mark Fischbach:Well, I can offer you a ride As far as the motel Not too far ahead, and maybe you can call for help From there, get someone to tow your car In and replace your tires, but I'm just passing through for the night. It's kind of late. Maybe I'll stay at the motel too. I can give you a ride over there We can have a room together.

22:58Bob Muyskens:Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know you that well stranger, but all right save money They usually come twos.

23:04Ethan Nestor:How do you help me?

23:07Bob Muyskens:Not only can you give me a ride you could give me a room. No, I'm going I'm going hell. Yeah I leap through their window from my window

23:15Mark Fischbach:You hop in the car with this stranger. Yep, and you make some small talk they talk about you know they're here to see some family this and that and part of a business venture they're hoping to get some funding because their family has yada yada yada blah blah blah blah you make small talk you tell me here to visit your cousin and it's actually relatively peaceful it's nice to have companionship after a while you still can't seemingly get phone service as you get closer and closer to town but eventually the motel comes into sight and this guy pulls off parks and you get to the motel last chance for me roomies he appreciates your offer but politely declines and gets himself a separate room.

23:52Mark Fischbach:So you are staying.

23:53Bob Muyskens:Good.

23:54Mark Fischbach:You walk up to the clerk or bellhop or whatever and you say you need a room and they ask for a name. You heard of Markiplier? He says no. Doesn't really look up. Just scribbles it down. Alright.

24:07Bob Muyskens:Well.

24:08Mark Fischbach:Puts you in room 7.

24:10Bob Muyskens:Should put the other guy in 6.

24:12Mark Fischbach:You know what I mean? Thank god you didn't get that. So you go into your room. You got your bags and everything. The guy was nice. not to let you put your bags in there. Got your car keys even though your car is stranded. But when you go to use the phone to call for like a tow truck, there's no ringtone. It seems like the phones are down for whatever reason so you're not able to get a hold of anybody tonight. And your phone's still not working but whatever. You're tired. You've got a room. You lock up. Make sure the windows are locked. Doors are locked. Whatever. And you go to sleep for the night.

24:39Mark Fischbach:You are awakened in the middle of the night though to the sounds of rustling, whispered conversation, maybe even a bit of like a scuffle or a struggle it's hard to make out the noises but it sounds strange it's probably i don't know four in the morning at this point could be nothing you could just ignore it and i'm going for it as fast as i can my best buddy might be in trouble you go you unlock the front door you swing it open to go see what's going on but well there's a group of people wearing i don't know masks and strange outfits and they're actually positioned in a semicircle around your room.

25:15Mark Fischbach:And as you open the door, one of them walks up and says, It won't be in vain. And as you're contemplating what that means, everything goes dark. Oh, like the lights? You're dead. Oh, okay. We had a death. Yay! It's gonna be tough to come back from that. We do what everyone does to choose your own adventure. We don't go back to the beginning. We just go back a step.

25:38Bob Muyskens:Oh, I see. I see. I see. I've never done that.

25:41Mark Fischbach:Alright, Bob, we're gonna cut back to you. Yeah, I was riding my bike about 10 or 15 minutes to the farm. As you approach the farm, you see there are vehicles here. There's people parked here. It's kind of late, but it looks like there's a bit of a party going on. There's something going on here. So you approach on your bike. And as you get closer, you see that they're dressed kind of funny. And maybe this is like a costume party or something. But people are dressed funny over at the barn. And it looks like they're maybe someone's hurt. They're helping somebody. No, they're dragging someone into the barn.

26:13Mark Fischbach:The person looks to be Mark unconscious.

26:17Ethan Nestor:Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Unconscious. Yeah.

26:20Mark Fischbach:You're not entirely sure, but I guess you could stay back here and keep an eye on things or else you could go up and see if they're all right. You can approach and investigate a little bit closer up.

26:29Ethan Nestor:Oh, I definitely ride my bike up and just sort of casually lay it down. Like I'm a 12 year old visiting his friend's house, just in the gravel in the parking aisle. Like, keep walking, try and look like I'm supposed to be there. You know, confidence.

26:42Mark Fischbach:I'm just gonna check it out wearing your clerk's outfit from the grocery store and not this strange Costume or whatever robe you ride your bike up closer to where this person's being dragged up in the barn and you inquire Hey, what's what's going on? Everything? Okay, and Multiple figures turn over and a familiar voice whose voice is that they say well We told you not to come Someone quickly grabs you from behind and as you're trying to figure out what's happening the lights go out and you find yourself uncomfortably dead damn it's a lot of death here mark you find time rewinding whoa you're back in your room you hear rustling outside hope they didn't hear that you could sneeze really loudly and alert them to your presence or you could open the door to investigate or you could try waiting it out uh see what happens there is a window in the back maybe even you want to approach that I think you should see what's outside the door maybe it'll be different this time it'll be different you never know I mean if you go listen this is your time as well as mine you can open the door see what happens all right you know what no no no I'll I'll wait and see so you decide to wait in the room and you hear the scuffling going on outside you hear murmured whispers and eventually you hear I got one of there's one more in room 7 and now you know you have a feeling that something's not right here that's your room what do you mean there's one more in room 7 so again you're confronted with the options of you're telling me there's two people in here well there's one in room 7 you can infer where the other one might have been

28:19Ethan Nestor:I just love the idea of Mark laying in bed and he hears that and he's just like no there isn't there are five people in here I love sleeping in room 8

28:31Mark Fischbach:Your survival senses kick in at this point because thankfully Mark in this scenario is a little bit more apt to survival than Mark in real life. Ah, oh, I see. Okay, all right. And as you hear them say that, your brain starts to comprehend like, okay, something's wrong. I've heard a scuffle. Now they're saying there's someone in room seven. That's me. And then you hear them working at the lock to the door. Quickly, you realize you're in trouble. So you go to the back window. You unlock it. You open the window. You climb out and you go to get the fuck out of there

29:02Bob Muyskens:I know how to home alone An apartment real quick That's actually what I do every time I go into A new hotel I home alone The whole thing it's really dangerous Good thing I don't sleepwalk but Yeah if I can rewind time I know how to fight him and it's just like I gotta Throw myself at him enough to be able To figure out

29:21Mark Fischbach:How many rewinds do we get Oh as many as it takes till we get to Well I mean technically we both You both just ended. I could just end the episode right there, but I figured I'd give you a little bit more. No, I want to find out the answers. Bob, back to you. You're watching the barn from a distance, and again, you see someone being dragged. Maybe they're unconscious, and you have the option to approach or stay back and keep an eye from a distance. Same options you were presented before.

29:45Ethan Nestor:I look over, and I'm like, oh, I know those guys, and I follow you turn and turn towards home.

29:52Mark Fischbach:You go to leave, but before you do, you see, as you look over your shoulder, the person that was being dragged in disappears. But you see another group walking out of the barn, this time carrying, there's a group of like four of them carrying a box. The box looks very decorated. You can't really make out from here much about it, but it looks pretty fancy. And people carrying that box are on their way out. You're not sure where because you're just getting out of there. So you hop on your bike and you're just getting the hell out of there. And as you're riding, you're trying to figure out what the heck's been going on.

30:26Mark Fischbach:I mean, the power's out. Mr. Hanley's car was in the parking lot. There's strange stuff going on over at the farm. You find yourself riding your bike to a familiar place, a place that you've been to every Sunday for the past, you know, every Sunday for your entire life, the old church. And as you go up to the church, you see that the front door to the church is open. Now, the church is always open to people. you can always go in but typically the door is at least closed so that's a little strange but maybe someone else is trying to find answers to what's going on in this town tonight so do you

30:56Ethan Nestor:want to stop and check out the church or i very stealthily pull my bike over and carefully lay it down so it doesn't make a sound i draw the 22 i keep tucked in my grocery store waistband

31:10Mark Fischbach:and approach the door tactically you pull out your empty squirt gun that you keep on you just for fun Hey, I color my 22. You walk up to the church where the door is open. And you know that, I mean, this is a relatively big church. The entire town usually congregates here. There's a few people that don't. You yourself, you're not a big believer, but your parents go and you attend. And it's a nice town tradition. So you're familiar with this place. And as you go to peep in, it's eerily silent. You look, you don't see anybody. You don't hear any movement. so you kind of take a step look around there's no one hiding in the shadows just kind of empty you do see that at the front at the pew or I think pew is the right word or altar where the pasture stands normally there's like a cloth you know decorative cloth that kind of hangs over the front and the back of it the cloth isn't there at the moment and there is a strange symbol carved into the back of the altar facing the pews uh the symbols well you know how like when people draw the sun.

32:13Mark Fischbach:It's a circle with like little lines coming out to show the rays. It's like that, but it's instead of a round sun, it's kind of shaped like an eyeball and there's rays coming off of it and below there are three V's each with a dot in the center.

32:28Ethan Nestor:Is my character in this universe unfamiliar with the Illuminati?

32:32Mark Fischbach:It's not exactly an Illuminati symbol, but I guess there are some parallels. You haven't seen this particular symbol before. I feel scared. As you're investigating that, I'm going to cut back over to Mark. Mark, you snuck out the window of the motel. I sure did. And you're running. People are looking for you. So you snuck away, and now it's just, let's book it in case they keep looking. As you're running, you pass by a couple of places that look unfriendly or just empty. They wouldn't be of much help to you. But eventually, you come across one of the taller buildings you've seen in the town. It's a relatively small town.

33:06Mark Fischbach:There's not much here. It's a nice, tall, stone church. and you see a bike out front and you swear walking in the door as you're running you know that person that's your cousin that's who you came here to see oh oh you go to call out but you've been running for a for a minute you're a bit out of breath so as you go to yell you just can't quite get it out so you stop for a moment you catch your breath you kind of like walk for a minute and then you realize maybe yelling isn't the best idea since you're trying to you know not be caught right now so you make your way over to the church where bob you finally do hear a noise and when you turn around is that your cousin walking into the church he doesn't live in this town you've not seen him in in years but you swear that's mark hmm i swear that's mark whoa

33:55Ethan Nestor:did you time travel too i don't know what you're talking about oh right okay did you turn the did

34:02Bob Muyskens:you turn the power off to the whole town was that you no why would i do that i don't even know where that would be that's suspicious of me to say it that way but listen now you're being kind of evasive

34:14Ethan Nestor:right now i don't know how i feel about that don't make me squirt you i don't want that hey anyway

34:19Bob Muyskens:there's probably okay i don't time travel either but if i did i think that if people trying to kill me i might have died you seem fine i know i seem fine but i heard whispering and that's like evil

34:35Ethan Nestor:Yeah, I have to agree I have to agree with that, that's definitely evil

34:38Bob Muyskens:Yeah, so I ran here from the hotel

34:40Ethan Nestor:And I'm What's up with the cell service? I assume that's related to the power I don't know, because it seems like It's all off everywhere Yeah, well, I don't know, man It's been a while Do you want to come back to my place? Is there a reason I'm here? Well, I only have the bike, so I'll meet you there, you're going to have to walk How fast do you walk? Maybe I could maybe house how slow can you ride a bike? Maybe we can make this work. We can go I can steal like What if you run and I'll ride as slow as I can because you said you wanted to get away from someone anyway Yeah, I need to go fast. I guess I don't know if they're chasing me if they're chasing you

35:21Mark Fischbach:They're real slow because this conversation is going on for a minute I'll interject and offer you guys a real choice here if you'd like you two are discussing you're catching up a little bit and you're turning to leave when, Bob, you see that symbol on another door in the church, the same symbol on the altar. Again, it's a strange one, not one that you recognize, but there it is carved into that door all the same. You two are talking about leaving, trying to get out of here, and you can do that. Or maybe there's some answers here as to what's going on. You could push in and investigate the church a bit deeper.

35:51Mark Fischbach:You know that there's like the pastor's chambers. He's pretty sure there's like a basement archive here. Do I know if this church has a parsonage? Wade doesn't know what a parsonage is.

36:02Ethan Nestor:That's where the pastor lives. It's the house often attached to the church.

36:06Mark Fischbach:I would say this seems like the kind of place that that would be. Yeah, that's probably. Yeah, I would say the pastor's chambers slash parsonage are probably one part of this. In fact, you think the door with that symbol probably actually leads there, which also happens to be where the access to the basement and other stuff is because they don't want people that's walking in the church to have access to everything. So you can go back there and check all that stuff out. So you guys can go and investigate that or you can leave. That's up to you. I hold my squirt gun up by my face and look tactical.

36:33Ethan Nestor:All right, Mark, you go in and investigate and I'll guard the door.

36:37Bob Muyskens:All right. Okay. I like that. I like that. I'm all about that plan.

36:41Mark Fischbach:All right. Do I have a choice in this? I mean, you could disagree with him, but ultimately you two have to come to a consensus. Do we both have to go to the same place or can we screw with you? You're both in the church or you're both leaving the church. You remember the choose your own adventures? The video comes to an end and Mark's like, hey, do you do this? Do you click on one of the two options? I'm giving you the two options. Well, I'm with what he says.

37:01Bob Muyskens:I'm down to stay as long as we Scooby-Doo this and we split up. Yeah, we're staying, but I'm staying over here and you're staying over there.

37:09Mark Fischbach:Okay. I mean, I can change the wording, but the description is going to stay pretty much the same of what happens. We'll see about that. Mark, you go through the door with a symbol on it and you find yourself in the parsonage or the chambers and you're looking around. Parsonage. Parsonage. parse ah great the symbol that you saw on the door again the eyeball with the rays coming off the three v's with the dots in the middle that's everywhere back here written on papers it's carved into you know little wooden figurines and stuff that that symbol is just seemingly everywhere among the documents as you're sifting through seeing the symbol you see a bunch of mentions of something called the shepherd.

37:52Mark Fischbach:And one of the documents talks about how early on, whenever the shepherd first came about, it was a time of great harvest. Rain was plentiful, livestock were healthy, crops were growing like never before, and everything in the town was booming. And in celebration, people brought gifts. They brought jewelry, carvings, food, all kinds of things to thank the shepherd for their bountiful harvest. Over time, this seemed to slow down, and there were less and less returns, and then there were some times of hardship. Maybe their offerings would become stale. They were offering the same types of things every year, so maybe they needed to give the shepherd something else, something new, and increase, well, the word they use is sacrifices to the shepherd.

38:40Mark Fischbach:You find other documents referencing the shepherd and different things people have given and years of Bountiful Harvest, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but nothing else that really strikes out and seems that much more interesting. That's the most of what you find. Bob, while you're waiting outside in the pews, keeping an eye on everything, making sure no one else comes in and that you're ready to hit them with your squirt gun that you've now filled, I guess, with some holy water if you want. Definitely. Nothing happens. It's pretty quiet other than the ruffling from the other room where Mark's going through documents and things, old records, nothing interesting happens.

39:14Mark Fischbach:And then Mark comes out and will, for the sake of argument, just share with you what he found. For you, because you've lived here your whole life, you've heard people talk about the shepherd. You have some recollection even as a kid of going and giving one of your old toys that you used to love but didn't really care about anymore as a gift to the shepherd. But it just seemed like kind of a strange town tradition to thank for the bountiful harvest. And as you go to leave the church, you guys make your way toward Where was it you originally intended to go? Your house?

39:40Ethan Nestor:Back to my place, yeah.

39:41Bob Muyskens:Yeah, I mean, I'd be down. Just a parsonage in there.

39:44Ethan Nestor:It's like 4.30 in the morning, so I don't know what the other options really are, but... He works the night shift at the convenience stores.

39:50Mark Fischbach:That makes sense. As you make your way, you two make your way toward Bob's house, there's kind of like a bunch of patrols going around through the town. Different groups of people with flashlights talking to each other. The road to your house, there's like a barricade almost set up. There's people set up with their cars and flashlights. It looks like maybe even some of them are armed and they're just blocking different paths. You don't see a clear way to easily get to your house, but you can either go up to the barricade and see what's up. Maybe this is unrelated. The person at the barricade isn't wearing the same robes you saw at the farm or, you know, the people you may have glanced at Mark as you were running from the motel.

40:26Mark Fischbach:They're not dressed the same, but they are barricading the road. Or, I mean, the patrols, this is a small town. There's only so much room they can cover. there maybe are ways around the barricade so you don't have to go up to it but if you're trying to get directly to your house that's probably the fastest way hey cousin is this normal it is not

40:43Ethan Nestor:oh god no god says it's not normal all right i got you boys have they spotted us yet no i'd say they have not i gotta say my instinct was to toss my sword gun into your hands and then run at them screaming, he's chasing me, he's got a gun, just to see if I can get myself through. Actively choosing not to do that, because we're cousins. Thanks, cuz. But I have no other strategies for this type of situation. So, I don't know, we'll just see if we can get through there. I mean, is your house, like, do you got guns at your house? Do you got... Oh, no, it's barely even a house. It's technically inside, is how I would describe my house.

41:26Ethan Nestor:So not defensible place. You got snacks. I got beer. I can't really drink. Yeah. It's a tap water. It's got so much stuff swimming in it. It's kind of like a snack and a drink. It's fine. I drink it all the time. It's fine. It's totally safe.

41:42Mark Fischbach:You want me to boil it for you? It would be great to be at Bob's house, but I'm going to remind you your choices are to approach the barricade or go around it. Either way, your goal is to get to Bob's house, but you can figure out what's there if you

41:53Ethan Nestor:make it. I'm not a metaphysics professor, but I do think there's a way better chance we're going to get to where we want to go if we try not to go directly through the barricade of things, people, and cars and maybe we just go around it. They probably only barricade from the front anyway.

42:09Mark Fischbach:You try to make your way around and as you're dodging patrols, dodging different barricades and just people driving by, you're trying to stay out of sight. Your goal is to not be found because you don't know what the hell is going on here. You don't know what this shepherd is, you don't know what people in the robes are doing, you don't know why people are out blocking off different parts of the roads. It's strange. A couple of times you have to cut through people's yards. You have to cut through the woods a little bit. And as you're cutting through the woods, you come across what you thought was a clearing.

42:36Mark Fischbach:You remember it being a clearing, but not anymore. There's cars here. Some cars that look old and weathered. Some that look newer. And Mark, your car is here. Oh my gosh. The car still has two flat tires, but it's here amongst all these other cars. And as you go to look to see if maybe you guys can take one of these. I mean, there are a bunch of cars here. There's no tools left behind. There's no spare tires left behind. There's no keys. At a quick glance, you're not going through every single part of every single car, but it seems like a lot of these cars have flat tires and those that don't, you might pop a hood and take a look.

43:17Mark Fischbach:It looks like the engine was messed with. Whatever happened to all these cars, it seems intentional. You guys can take a moment and really search this place to hopefully find either a working car or something useful, some information here, or you were here. What if more cars get dropped off? What if somebody comes by? Maybe it's best just to get out of here as fast as possible. So you guys want to search around a bit or do you want to get the hell out of here?

43:39Bob Muyskens:This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.

44:09Ethan Nestor:Dude, that's my car. You don't have to brag about it. I mean, that's good.

44:14Bob Muyskens:Just congratulations. Congratulations. Yeah, I mean, I'm doing really well. I mean, it's not working right now, but I mean, yeah, yeah, I can smell you.

44:23Ethan Nestor:These cars all look generally pretty fucked. Do you know how to like, you know anything about cars?

44:30Bob Muyskens:No, if I did, I wouldn't be in this situation, man. I just buy them with my money that I got. I got a lot of it.

44:39Ethan Nestor:How many cars? How many cars you bought? You got a lot of money. How many cars?

44:42Bob Muyskens:Well, you know, I kind of buy one. I leave it on the side of the road when the tires explode and I buy another, you know, because I can't get that car to work anymore. So I just buy them up. But it's weird that it's here. It is weird that it's here.

44:54Ethan Nestor:I'm just saying, I just came when I met with you at the church. I just came from work. And so I'm pretty tired. So if we have to fix one of these things to steal it, I mean, or yours to use yours because it's yours. It's not stealing. If you use it, I guess. I'm not really into that So you can maybe we go lay down Have some beer dinner And call it good Have that water that sounded Good it's thick

45:23Mark Fischbach:You'll love it God we're going to my house You're leaving without searching further in the car Place is what I'm gathering right I looked Did you look did you spend some time looking or did you

45:35Ethan Nestor:I looked with my eyeballs and then I I ascertained the truth of the Situation yeah aren't you shouldn't you know? Couldn't you just tell us?

45:43Mark Fischbach:I've got other people's games I'm running. I'm kind of, you know, omniscient but also, like, I'm busy, so I'm only half paying attention. It's kind of my thing. You guys aren't the only versions of you I have to watch right now. I don't like that. Okay, so you leave with the goal of getting to Bob's house, maybe finding Bob's family. That's what I'm gathering you guys are hoping to do. I always forget about those guys. Bob lives with his parents, you know.

46:06Ethan Nestor:Oh, your parents are still alive! So this is your parents' house! Well look the basement is 100 % mine So it's like my that's my house And then they live with me In the part That I let them stay in

46:19Bob Muyskens:Well let's just get in there then Because they probably know what's going on with all these cars And what's going on with all that

46:24Ethan Nestor:Okay but you have to be kind of quiet Because dad's going to be pissed if we wake him up

46:27Mark Fischbach:Oh okay alright Uncle for me You're off to find Bob's house Bob's family There's some crazy shit going on in this town There's all these cars there's the symbol, there's the decorated box. Who knows what else you guys might have overlooked or missed and even if you did know what was going on in this town, it still doesn't make any fucking sense. Everyone's acting crazy and different. Bob, you're realizing that maybe you're wrong, but whenever you were watching the barn, you heard people talking, one of the voices sounded maybe like it was your mom's voice. It'd be weird for her to be there, especially with what was going on, but as you're approaching your house, you just have that realization that maybe, maybe you did hear her voice there in the distance and the symbol's been nagging at you again you grew up here you know a lot of these people nothing like this has ever happened before but you guys are approaching the house and that symbol just keeps resonating in your mind and maybe you talk to mark about it mark it doesn't really ring any bells for you other than at the church you don't think you've ever seen that symbol before never and you get to the the front of your yard and then you remember there's a clearing a place called the hollow that's where you brought your gifts.

47:36Mark Fischbach:That's where you would give your toys, where people brought their jewelry and things to the hollow. And it's like many places here, off in the woods a bit, but it's strange because this hollow is almost like a bowl shape and it's just dirt. Nothing ever really grows in the center. There's trees around, it's in the woods, but there's no weeds, no grass. The hollow is just that, it's hollow. It's just an area of dirt where there's like a bit of a shrine erected and people would give things to. The Shepherd? You think that that's the name? Maybe there's something to this hollow, because as you walk into the house, your family's not there.

48:09Mark Fischbach:You do find a note that says, Bob, don't go to the farm. But there's nothing else really here. I mean, there's some snacks, there's a drink, comfortable beds, if you trust sleeping. I love sleeping.

48:23Bob Muyskens:I also love sleeping. I got my sleeping interrupted by these murderers who showed up, I think.

48:28Ethan Nestor:I'm excited we're finally back to a place with beds. Yeah, and no murderers.

48:33Mark Fischbach:Seems like it. You guys can crash here, try to get some rest, or maybe you should go out and try to find Bob's parents.

48:42Bob Muyskens:Look, man, I'm an expert at reading messages. This says don't go to the farm. Where is the farm? Not here. So I gotta say, everywhere else we've gone, bad news. This place, pretty cool. It's got armed guards outside. I've never felt safer. I've never felt safer than being in this house with you, friend. cousin actually we can be both i remember it when i said i said i heard a voice say i love my cousin

49:07Ethan Nestor:and i love you so are you guys gonna choose to stay the night here as i finished stripping all of my clothes off all the way down to butt naked i turn around and look at mark and say you know what man i think you're onto something the whole stay in here idea but i'm just gonna throw it out there while we were sneaking through the weird field full of your car and others i just had this thought you know like i know this big sort of hole in the ground type place where nothing grows and there isn't really anything and it's in the middle of the woods it's kind of just like a big empty dirt patch you want to go look at that well you know actually that sounds pretty cool yeah hey the sun's rising it could be really pretty you think the sun sets real late here must rise real early too all right i put on some different clothes that aren't my work uniform uh i guess we're gonna go check out the hollow.

49:59Ethan Nestor:Alright, you know what? Hey, that's a cool name for it. The hollow. Should be called the big bowl in the woods, but

50:06Mark Fischbach:hollow's, you know, creepier. Man, I'd just given you guys a choice I hadn't even written in and you guys went back to my script. Thank you for that. Sleeping in the house was originally something I had planned, but you guys seemed so tired I couldn't... How could I not give you the option? I'm exhausted. It's like 5 in the morning. I got some sleep. You guys go to head to the hollow. You know, luckily for you, your family owns a couple of different bicycles so you've got your bike and mark manages to get a bike as well you know your car's not here the family car's not here keep telling them i need a car and you go to pedal over to the hollow again there's still some patrols um there's still the barricades on like the main roads but you found a way here you kind of backtrack a bit and find your way back and you know where the hollow's at and it's a bit further from the central town itself so as you approach the hollows you have less and less patrols and such to worry about but there's some activity over here as you're coming up to the hollow.

50:57Mark Fischbach:Like the people that were at the farm are now over here. Again, you're confronted with the option of, do you want to sneak around and listen, get a better sight, or just go straight in acting like you belong?

51:08Ethan Nestor:I belong. You're the one who doesn't belong. So I'm not really that worried. What do you mean? You're not from here. I gotta say, I feel less safe here than I did at home. At the house, where I'm feeling like maybe we should have stayed, but it's way too late i felt pretty solid i think we should be sneaky here in case anyone is being

51:30Bob Muyskens:you know bad i mean generally speaking running around screaming it's probably not a great thing

51:36Ethan Nestor:to do in the morning anyway i don't make fun of your morning routine but whatever uh so let's so we'll sneak we'll try and sneak around and see what's going on before we la-di-da okay fine i

51:47Bob Muyskens:wouldn't look as crazy if you did it with me look i love you cousin but this backwards town of la-di-da people, you know, it's just like, I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but you guys are real la-di-da-rs. It's fine.

52:00Mark Fischbach:Well, Bob started to sneak up without you and then decided to stop and give you that comeback and give you that burn, which you feel, Mark. You do feel.

52:06Bob Muyskens:I do feel. He didn't say what name it was, but I got the implication. On the outside, I was like, I bet it's a good name because we're all rich, but in the inside, I know it's going to hurt, so I don't even ask what it was.

52:16Mark Fischbach:Shaking off the burns that you both just succumbed each other to, you both start to sneak up a little bit and as you get closer and closer to the hollow itself you can see that there's a service a ceremony some kind of ritual even taking place the decorated box you saw from a distance at the farm bob is up kind of central on a like a wooden built platform and you see your church pastor up there well he's still he's walking down and he's approaching your parents you see them and the pastor is walking over to them as he's approaching them you kind of get a view of the rest of the hollow and you see there's pews set up people are sitting at the pews all the pews facing this central altar um and your attention turns back over to the pastor approaching your parents and it seems like he's not very happy and you sneak up a bit closer and you're listening they're talking about you the pastor's angry that you weren't there and your parents are a bit defensive.

53:16Mark Fischbach:They say, Bob's been attending his whole life. We've had the good years, we've had the bad years, and nothing has been different with Bob's beliefs all throughout. It's not him. The pastor responds, things have changed. We must change. We must adapt and give to the shepherd or our way of life will forever cease to be. It seems like the pastor is getting more and more animated. You're afraid he might even strike or lash out. He's trembling a bit. His fists are clenched. Is he carrying a weapon at his side of some kind? It's hard to tell because he is wearing robes, but you can choose to keep listening or are your parents in danger?

53:57Bob Muyskens:I'm not gonna lie, cousin. This looks really suspicious. Your parents talking to the pastor guy and saying something about killing something. Maybe

54:07Ethan Nestor:us, you know. Look, I think I have a plan I have a plan, I developed a plan What I'm thinking is You stay here, stay low I'm gonna stand up and walk out there Okay And I'll be there, you'll be near And that's the deal my dear And I stay here And I stay hidden And I'll Tell them you're cool Oh you're gonna tell them I'm here If they don't notice you, like maybe you sneak back to the house and just go have a nap. But if they notice you, because it's possible they'll notice you, I'll just tell them that you're cool. Uh-huh. So, I'll tell them you're cool. It'll be fine. You're gonna la-dee-da over there?

54:53Ethan Nestor:You're just gonna la-dee-da? That's really, that's unrelated. I'll walk. How do you want me to walk? Would it make you feel better if I walked your way? My way?

55:03Mark Fischbach:I don't walk, silly. At this point, things are becoming very animated. They're getting up in each other's faces, your parents and the pastor. They're yelling, they're screaming. Fists are clenched on both sides. It seems like things are going to come to blows very quickly. I spring into action.

55:20Ethan Nestor:All right, cousin, we're doing my plan. Stay low. What it is? I walk out in my traditional manner. Hello, it's me. I'm here. I got your note, mom and dad. I'm sorry that I'm late for the... This great speech, by the way, pastor... Man. I'll just sit with mom and dad and then you guys don't have to worry I'm here just like always always been here I always show up and don't look in the bushes behind me it's exactly how you

55:46Mark Fischbach:imagined things would go down but as you step out and start to run out and make noise unfortunately you're a moment too late the pastor draws what looks like a ceremonial blade and it goes right across the throat of your mom and she collapses in a heap you yell and charge in

56:09Mark Fischbach:that's my battle yell distracting the pastor long enough where he looks in your direction your dad reacts grabbing the blade and thrusting it through the pastor as the pastor goes to drop your dad quickly reaches into his robes and grabs a glowing tube of some kind some kind of just i I don't know. It's like a rod, but it's got a glow to it. It's like a glow stick. Is dad a glover? But before you can make heads or tails of what you're looking at, the congregation is realizing what's happened. Your dad seizing the opportunity to take control of the situation yells to them. The shepherd left us this one blessing.

56:46Mark Fischbach:As he holds it up. And it is now in my possession. What's left of my family and I are leaving. And if any of you try to stop us, I will destroy the shepherd's gift, ensuring damnation to us all. And the congregation, which was starting to charge over, freezes, stopping in place, not daring to risk seeing damage to the shepherd's gift.

57:06Bob Muyskens:I jump out and I go, I'm also family. I'm family too. Do the walk. I don't want to do the walk. Do the walk. They'll never believe you. Come on, man. No, I'm just family.

57:16Mark Fischbach:They look at you as if they don't believe you.

57:18Bob Muyskens:Oh, la-dee-da. La-dee-dee.

57:22Mark Fischbach:They freeze once again as they realize you're part of the family. I'm doing this as I make my way over.

57:29Bob Muyskens:Don't get fancy. Don't get fancy. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

57:35Ethan Nestor:They start moving a little bit, you know. Everyone's head starts to bob. Yeah.

57:40Mark Fischbach:Which is exactly how you imagined it would go. We got vivid amandanasians here. Mark walks up and joins you to shock and adrenaline keeping you guys going at this point where what's happened to your mom hasn't quite sunk in and what's happening around you still doesn't make sense. Your dad continues to speak and says, I will leave this at the edge of town as we leave. You can recover it and pray the shepherd returns. But if I believe any of you are following us or trying to stop us before we leave, I will destroy this without hesitation. You two, along with Bob's dad, are forced to leave the body of his wife and your mom behind.

58:18Mark Fischbach:In the car, because your dad thankfully did have a car here, as you're driving away, You're all feeling very paranoid. You're looking behind you. You're looking out the windows. You're checking the mirrors You're making sure no one is following you You pass by some of the checkpoints or barricades your dad holding up the cylinder and none of them knowing quite exactly what happened But seeing the relic knowing that that that's a key you guys get to go through and you managed to reach the edge of town Your dad had promised to leave the relic if you guys were able to leave town and he goes to set it down in one of the last barricade cars before you all leave.

58:52Mark Fischbach:Finally, just a moment of humanity washes over him and even you as you realize the gravity of what you saw happen to your mom. Your dad grips the relic tightly, and instead of setting it down, he smashes it on the road instead of setting it down as you leave the town behind you forever. The drive goes on. Eventually, you succumb to sleep. You guys haven't gotten to rest. When you wake up, he's still driving, and he decides to tell you some story about the shepherd. The shepherd had arrived in this small town decades ago at this point, a very long time ago, from the sky. Was the shepherd an alien?

59:30Mark Fischbach:Was it a spacecraft? Was he a god? It's hard to know for sure. His powers, whether they were innate or technological, did bless the town with harvests and bounties, and people were joyous and gave gifts to the shepherd to thank him, but one day the shepherd seemingly disappeared or refused to help anymore. Visitors came into town, outsiders, and there was an accident. They'd come to the hollow whenever there was some construction going on, and ultimately they ended up getting hurt and passing away. However, after their blood spilled in the hollow, the following year it seems like the blessing of the shepherd had returned.

1:00:10Mark Fischbach:There was a bountiful harvest, plenty of rain, and the pastor and the pious believe that maybe now the shepherd demanded blood sacrifice your parents were unwilling participants you weren't as pious as some of the other kids and family members in the town and that irked people but because your parents were willing to help with the sacrifices you were safe at least for a while and that's the only reason they participated was to protect you you pass out again exhaustion and you awaken hearing your dad muttering to himself I shouldn't have done that. I know I shouldn't have done that. And as you open your eyes, you see a light in the sky ahead and then another and then another and a whole bunch of lights start to appear.

1:00:54Mark Fischbach:You escaped the town. You lost your mom. Whatever lies ahead, you know, in your bones this time there is no escape.

1:01:04Bob Muyskens:Except for me, right? I know you did the dance. You're part of the family fuck ah shit i knew i shouldn't i knew i knew you were up to something with that dance i

1:01:12Mark Fischbach:knew it was up to no good long story short i had i think like i said about 10 endings to this and that was the one of the meh endings like you know not a good ending but not the worst ending the deaths there were there were multiple ways for you guys to die there were and then you guys found a couple of those i think only two of them out of like six or seven i had i tried to die more i I tried. I don't know that I'll play through this exact scenario with you all again, but I can walk you through how you could have gotten the best ending if you'd like and some of the things you missed. Did you guys, was it fun?

1:01:43Mark Fischbach:Was it good? Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to know what was going to happen. So there were ways to get more information. So Mark, you waited in the car and found the guy driving by. If you had chose to walk along the highway, you could have come across a house where you would have met Crazy Walter. And Crazy Walter was kind of like an alien conspiracy theorist. and you would have seen that same symbol in his house. So later on, you would have had some information to that. And he would have given you some info that you wouldn't have probably believed because he came off as a crazy person, but it would have made more sense as time goes on.

1:02:15Mark Fischbach:So Crazy Walter was one of your ways of getting info. Exploring the church, you guys got some information from exploring the church about the shepherd and the harvests and stuff. If you had chose to investigate the cars, the abandoned cars a bit more, you would have actually found a couple of weapons.

1:02:30Bob Muyskens:Damn.

1:02:30Mark Fischbach:And then whenever you confronted the cult there at the end, you would have had a way to actually stop the pasture before he hurt your mom. And that way you could have had both of your parents escape and you would have gotten a different ending and your dad wouldn't have smashed the crystal. And that would have been the best ending. I feel like it was really obvious he shouldn't have done that to everyone. It may be that the last half of this, I wrote it like two in the morning last night. So maybe all the best decisions were used a little bit earlier on. Ah, what can you do? That's how it goes sometimes.

1:03:00Mark Fischbach:If you'd gone the scenic route, Mark, your tires wouldn't have gotten flattened, but your car wouldn't have started. So your car would have still broken down and you would have had the option to either follow the highway, wait in the car or follow the river. The river would have immediately also led to death. Ah, yeah. That was another way to dive.

1:03:13Bob Muyskens:I mean, that makes sense. Rivers are deadly.

1:03:15Mark Fischbach:Oh, the crazy Walter would have given you a name to use the hotel, which would have kept you safe for the night. And then time would have worked a bit differently and Bob would have had some time at home to sleep and you guys would have been doing stuff the next day. But he would have given you a name that people wouldn't have investigated you because it's like the safe word for people's families that wouldn't be in trouble. Too bad I didn't give that to you. Yeah. Oh, well, I'm sure there were some holes. Like I said, it was my first go at it. And I wrote all this in like three hours last night.

1:03:38Mark Fischbach:But I don't know, just sounds like a fun idea. So I gave it a shot. And no, well done, man.

1:03:42Bob Muyskens:That was good.

1:03:42Mark Fischbach:Hopefully you all out there enjoyed watching, listening. I did mark down some points, but you each only died once individually, even though there were a couple more ways, I think, for Mark to die by himself because he was coming from the outside whereas you had at least the base town protection so I wrote in some ways for you to die but I think there was like one more way for Mark to die than you let me go through the points real quick there aren't a lot of points because mostly I was narrating so I'd have time to write a lot down Mark you got points for uh hotel showers rule uh shot in the desert the bees death and consistency with even this like fantasy version of you can't drink alcohol right now you have five points Bob you got points for

1:04:25Bob Muyskens:I took a shower

1:04:28Mark Fischbach:Nair is just Wade's shampoo Cybertruck Bob which you shall forever be known as now that's pretty fair you had one death you decided that you would try to bend the rules and fuck with me instead of just following along with the choices which I gave you a point for it was fun trying to give yourself a gun I gave you a squirt gun point and then there at the end I had to give you a Shakira point you did the wherever

1:04:48Bob Muyskens:no Did I get a point for How are you gonna help me I thought that was pretty funny You know what sure I'll give you That was pretty funny

1:04:58Ethan Nestor:Are you sure you noticed the Shakira thing Wade

1:05:00Mark Fischbach:Oh did I ruin a bounty for you Maybe It's hard to get my girl past me

1:05:05Ethan Nestor:I was wondering why you were upset that I gave you a point for it I was like man I noticed it I gave you a point I mean that's good but the bounty Is only successful if I can Sincerely And relevant to what's happening use a Shakira lyric and if Wade doesn't notice I get the point at the end of the episode but if Wade does notice Wade gets the point at the end of the episode so technically oh no I gave you a bounty and what do we decide those are two points generally and it's two or three if it's like a big boy one I would

1:05:42Mark Fischbach:say for me getting it that's worth like a point or two but for you to have gotten that like that's that would be a hard there's a lot of stipulations to that when you didn't say it immediately i was

1:05:50Ethan Nestor:like oh we have a chance and then you the last point you gave me is the shakira yeah god damn

1:05:58Mark Fischbach:it you did i mean you integrated it so well i was like man i'm surprised mark didn't comment

1:06:02Ethan Nestor:on it or anything because i was so like the whole time in the back of my mind i was like oh you know what one i don't know how this would have come up but do you know what i had picked out that i really wanted to see if I could get in relevantly and sincerely is from the from whenever wherever there's a line that goes lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains I had that one written out in front of me and I was just like any opportunity come on

1:06:32Mark Fischbach:man I think I would have just given you a win if you had gotten that and I didn't notice you would have just won I got naked in front

1:06:39Ethan Nestor:of mark hoping there'd be a setup of some sort everyone was just like huh he got naked all right come on come on he just does that man he just does it the way it works is you would have gotten all the points so if i did multiple and you notice you could end up with any number of points so it's maybe good i just went with one and called it because i there were a couple other points where i could have gone for it right now because you put i was trying so hard not to be on the

1:07:09Mark Fischbach:board this time i was like i can't do golf rules again uh the score is bob seven mark six and me two i guess since you said that was a two point one or two whatever doesn't really matter but i'm on the board and i guess we'll do our wheel spins uh i'm sorry i noticed bob i just i could

1:07:22Ethan Nestor:not just assume if i'm throwing shakira in for no apparent reason then it's probably none of your goddamn business i really just thought you were trying to get some points for me so i gave you a point i'm fair fair is fair fair is that's totally fair it was it was relevant which i was proud of but it was not exactly sneaky i feel like that thought i had it though man i had oh my god i only have one wheel spin to get another golf rules or if it goes to mark uh the tie i'm gonna go to the tie wheel for the first time what new thing are we adding to our list of 119 wheel

1:07:57Mark Fischbach:options um what about tried to break the game bob you tried to break the game multiple times today so whenever the host is trying to do something and someone's trying to break the game here's a reward for being a pest I guess because a lot of times I think I'm the pest so all right

1:08:11Ethan Nestor:we got one spin baby we shuffle let me click the right combination of shuffles I'm gonna scroll the whole list I'm sure this will be enough yep yep yep there we go uh now we have them all on the record we definitely have that on video it'll be fine one spin baby they're all on the record right there that's true i guess i sneezed achoo mark did you did actually sneeze oh time devil makes me sneeze oh wait oh yeah i thought i was i thought i was behind no it's tied we go to the tie wheel i have currently scribbled that we should be on eight percent as of april 17th has it been that long since no i think it's been that long the last time we interacted with the winner's wheel We added 2 % on April 17th.

1:09:02Ethan Nestor:I have it written down and dated on the back of my scorebook. The one-man show needs to be 29 degrees.

1:09:09Mark Fischbach:I wouldn't land on that. Look how small it looks. Look how small that is. If it does, you guys have to write the episode. I get to take the next writing off no matter what.

1:09:16Ethan Nestor:Are we allowed to just be like, it's a one-man show, and then both of us walk away and Wade does whatever he does for 45 minutes?

1:09:23Mark Fischbach:No, in that case, I'll hijack and just declare a winner. May the best slice win.

1:09:33Mark Fischbach:oh oh oh i really thought i thought it was gonna stop in there it likes to do that it likes to

1:09:38Ethan Nestor:look like it's just gonna overshoot and then go back and be like this is not my season guys this

1:09:43Mark Fischbach:is not my season i think i saw where someone posted that we were tied i think bob is now up by one i think now it's like five to four to four wins and mark you did have the most points prior

1:09:53Ethan Nestor:to this too it's true that's that's what the score sheet says by by our unofficial official score in the subreddit but now i'm winning idiots well congratulations um bob do you want to give a winner speech it feels like it's been a while since i won but it hasn't because i win a lot i guess the point of the speech is just to say that everyone is back where they belong and i think that's how it should stay uh this was fun i do wish i had found a way to like trick you into letting me break the game and jump off the timeline and see what happened but i also wish you hadn't noticed Shakira so what are you gonna do but it was good good good competition I really tried to get Mark killed a lot and I guess our fates were just inexorably intertwined so we did it except we died I assume we died at the end right that's not a good situation

1:10:44Mark Fischbach:for the sake of the episode yes but for the sake of what would have actually happened is you guys would have both been teleported back to the beginning before you give the loser speech I will say that my original intent for this before I realized how long it would take was to have you two separated, come together for a few decisions and separate again, and then ultimately come together for the conclusion. But I realized how long it was going to take to get through all of this. So I was like, I better just simplify it. So I cut a bunch out there at the end to make it a little bit shorter. So there were more times for you guys to try to get each other killed, but I had to shorten it.

1:11:13Mark Fischbach:We still ended up going almost twice the length of an episode. So Bob, good winner's speech. Mark, loser's speech.

1:11:18Bob Muyskens:Well, you know, this just goes to show. No matter how much you love your cousins, never visit them, even if they're in hardship, especially if they're in hardship. because you never know what's going to happen. There's a giant hole in the ground. Their parents are going to die or cause a whole ruckus in the town and upset God. So don't piss off God. Don't visit your cousin.

1:11:37Mark Fischbach:Oh, and the hollow, the reason I think, that was where the spaceship landed. Oh, I didn't get that.

1:11:43Bob Muyskens:I thought it was a giant endless hole in the ground.

1:11:45Ethan Nestor:It's radioactive. We're all dying of cancer real bad. The gift, the glowing gift was just pure radiation. I see. Whatever Homer has in the intro of The Simpsons, it was one of those.

1:11:55Mark Fischbach:thank you guys for participating and Bob for trying to break the game which you technically did I did let you have the option of sleeping naked at your house which wasn't originally written in my script but you know I was gonna let you do it hopefully you had fun hopefully everyone you guys enjoyed watching it was my first crack at a choose your own adventure so maybe I'll do it again if you guys liked it if not then you know give it a shot uh stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host he's now our current season leader in wins I think at like five and then Mark and I are tied at four but we'll see what Bob has up his sleeve but it's It's been a close season.

1:12:22Mark Fischbach:It's been fun. It was nice hosting for a little bit and maybe my streak will continue. Follow Mark at Markiplier, Bob at Meisker, me at Minion77 or LordMinion777. We have merch sometimes at distractible.shop. So keep an eye on there. Check it out. Maybe there's some stuff to pick up. And I guess stay tuned for the next one. Until then, podcast out.

1:12:43Bob Muyskens:This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? It's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give chat GPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chat GPT.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans.