Cloth Off The Bone

27:11Mark Fischbach:So it was like, I don't know if the troll, the troll face counts as one, but that one to me would be like a 20. Cause that one's still, I see the harder one number for me would be like, if it was like seven or something, I would have no idea where to go with memes on that. All right. Wade, I sent it, send it. Apparently I sent you your next one. Mark, this scale is zero is completely unethical and 20 is a hundred percent above board ethical. All right, cool. So during the pandemic it was really hard to find toilet paper taking toilet paper from businesses and taking it home You know Taking it just just taking it like, you know You go to like a you go to like a grocery store bathroom and you take a roll of toilet paper home You don't you don't like take a whole pack, but you know you take a roll from it's there for you to use It's offered so I see what you're saying It's different than like stealing a pack off the shelf is your point.

28:06I see.

28:06Mark Fischbach:Yeah You're not stealing a pack of toilet paper, but you're going and you're taking like a roll from a gas station bathroom. You know, I actually did. I don't want to get in trouble, but I did that in college. Oh, get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. I know where you're at on the scale of zero to 20. All right. So this is real middle of the road, I feel. So you put the COVID skew in there. So I think you could be like, OK, it's a minor crisis happening, but there's desperation in there. And, you know, you got to make do. You got to go do do. You got to make do for you do do. and you gotta get the toilet paper wherever you can.

28:38But it's kind of still stealing it, so I guess I'm gonna go nine. It's just on the edge towards unethical. You guys are killing this game.

28:49Mark Fischbach:I don't know if it's good for me that you're guessing so close, but man, I'm liking it. What was it? Wade was going for eight. I was gonna say eight first. I went and I was thinking eight. I figure like that seven to nine range is it's pretty hard to distinguish, but I was like, okay, you're still taking that's bad from what you were saying mark i was like oh no it's gonna be above 10 oh no you were you were locked in you you got it as soon as he went in but it's still stealing i was like nah he's got it it's still unethical he's gonna go with the high the high single digits i have to say we lived in california for like the all of the pandemic basically we never had i don't know where this did happen i've seen so many memes about all the toilet paper stuff and i know what happened did you guys experience that do you ever have like we certainly had to wear like oh the toilet paper shelves are like half empty that's weird i never went to the store and was unable to get toilet paper we weirdly had bought like a pack but right before they started becoming hard to get we bought like a 24 pack or something so we were pretty well stocked for a little while but there were definitely points where we were like thank god we already had that in the house because the shelves were empty and then like here and there whenever it was like when there's like a few eight packs or something we would like grab one or grab you know we would grab something to hold us over so we never didn't have any we definitely went to the store at points and saw none on the shelves i yeah i don't know how much toilet paper people are going through and why how many how many squares do you guys use if i do business i probably use four squares anywhere between like two to four groupings of white like depending on if it's if it's real bad it might take a number of wipes but like i don't know some in the range of eight to 12 squares maybe total for a for like a regular had a good poop situation the only reason we ever bought large quantities because we had so many damn bathrooms these midwestern houses have so many bathrooms so we always like to have like two or three extra rolls per bathroom we yeah we buy we buy costco packs of toilet paper just because when you buy it's like a bunch of six packs and we're like this bathroom gets a six pack this bathroom gets a six and by the time you're done with that you have like a few left over but yeah so we had just done that right before they became it became hard to get toilet paper and it was like well thank god we did that yeah one mega roll should last a human a month right one and i feel like that that kind of tracks for me my other issue is though there are times where i'll like take toilet paper to like blow my nose and stuff like that too so yeah see i know people do that and i really try not to because sometimes you don't have kleenex and you just like especially if you get sick and you happen to not have a box kleenex in the house or whatever like i just want something flushable so i'm not contributing to garbage is that weird oh you can flush anything as long as it goes through the toilet flushed no consequences after that oh man bob that's a four it's a four bob uh i could flush you robert de niro hey you did the face i have nipples can you flush me it's crazy i love that movie it's my favorite scene from that movie weren't they making a third one am i crazy are they making it yes it was like announced i I saw like a trailer for it or something.

31:52Man, do I not need to see that. Mark, I have sent you your next assignment. Wade, I will tell you the scale for this one is zero is completely boring and 20 is completely exciting.

32:07Mark Fischbach:The most exciting. Man, we have such different tastes. I'm curious which way we'll go on this. A walk through a museum you have been to before. Do you like this museum? Yeah, you like it. Yeah, you like the museum. Yeah, you like it. I've done this a lot. James loves the Cincinnati Museum Center. I've been there a bunch. So I've gone back to the museum. I'm walking through it. I like the museum. I've been there before, so it's not like the most exciting thing ever. But I'd still be excited to do it. So I'm going to say this is a 13. That's the first one. That's the first one that's a little ways off.

32:43You know, I feel like Bob fished that out of me because he asked if I liked it. And I'm like, I was just going to leave that to that. So I was going to say like, that's fair.

32:50Mark Fischbach:If you hadn't said that, I would have probably got more like a 10. But oh, wait, so we're saying I spoiled the results. I think I think you spoiled the results there. Well, listen, I've I've while while we've been doing this, I have been rethinking the point situation for the psychics. If you sincerely would have guessed 10, which you said offhandedly before I made this offer and I'm the one who spoiled it and was what he was going for. 10 would have been exactly correct. That was pretty middle of the road until it was like a museum I liked that did sway me more toward like the 11 to 15 range because that was pretty.

33:24What that would mean, if I'm going to give you credit for that, is that you would get the point, but the psychic who gets the exact correct guess gets two lie points and the fates will decide what happens with the lie points. I'm fine with that because that is what I was going to go for.

33:41Mark Fischbach:I said it, so I'm not going to retract it. That's about where I was at was like an even 10. All right. I will try to shut my goddamn trap. I need to understand what lie points mean, because I think there's a thing on the wheel that says lie points are absolute. Lie points don't count unless you hit that thing on the wheel is what I thought that meant. Lie points because the points are a lie, but then there are things on the wheel where the lie points then do count. Do we have negative points become positive on there? Well, that's what absolute means. Yeah, there's a point where lie points become absolute, but I don't know if there's a thing where all negative points become absolute i could add that i could add that as my that's a good wheel thing yeah now i'm trying to remember what what the hell it means then there's incentive for the judges to give more negative points just to have some stuff out there because uh and we know that when as soon as we add something to the wheel it will be hit 10 times even more times than we spin it it will be hit man remember whenever viewers and listeners used to get it all the time anyway good thing we deleted those show you the wheel we didn't delete nothing that's why it sucks But sometimes it's funny And we just need to hit the exact right scenario Wait for whoever's cloth is more off the bone today What does that mean?

34:53Mark Fischbach:I don't remember that reference at all That's like half the shit we see on there I don't think it's that obscure But now I really want whose cloth is more off the bone Yeah, stop giving me ideas I already have two I need to add to the wheel now We'll see We'll see what the wheel's on We'll see what the wheel's on Listen, turn of the century, Mark. Calm down. Cool your jet, see? All right, wait, I sent you the next one. And Mark, you'll be great at this. This scale is zero is the most niche emoji. And 20 is the most common popular emoji. So 20 would be like smiley face. And zero would be like, I don't know, one I can't think of because I don't use it.

35:38zero would be red car in traffic some shit is that an emoji it's probably out there can i just say i'm i'm really proud to no one has immediately looked at it and like mouthed the number or just said it instinctively because every i'm sending 74 man i'm trying this

35:56Mark Fischbach:is because i've got to i've got to think about how everyone else uses them not just yeah you you kind of know what emojis i use you do mark does have and mark has an interesting library of emojis that he goes to he doesn't just stick i only ever use the like suggested one so i think i use thumbs up and happy face and that's about it maybe the hundred once in a while i'm going to say the like clapping your hands emoji okay just the hands by themselves like the one that goes between words when you're like he did not flinch 20 is the most common right yes 20 is the most popular common zero is the most niche of the smiling faces emojis obviously like regular smile would be up there for most common all happens all the time and then there's actually kind of a spread of the various smiles that go down in popularity from like the melty face to the to the you know the the the the horny one you know that one i i also would say the horny one i think i know what's funny uh so there's there's all kinds of things with the hand ones there's the pointings thumbs up the clapping and then prayer hands of those probably thumbs up being the most popular if i'm trying to think of it like this it's like thumbs up maybe this is kind of up there too at least for me but i don't use this very much and like what i was saying it's kind of niche in its utility it's not like when people are saying that was that was a great video they're going yeah that's not how they're using it's really only used for yes period but it's still used a good bit i want to say like 13 wow you guys are still locked in what was it it was 14 oh that's also i was thinking 14 fuck man the way you were talking through i was like dude he could say a 6 he could say a 20 i have no idea okay no not 20 we're going we're in like the 15 6 to 15 range i literally was like 14 no 14 no 13 fuck every time i do it to myself No, but see, as far as the game, though, Mark, 13 is what you want because you still get the point.

38:02You don't get any more points for an exact guess. But then Wade didn't get his lie points.

38:07Mark Fischbach:I'm just glad that I'm doing well enough to where you're like in the range. That makes me happy. So whatever the points are, whatever, man. I was thinking this one would be kind of weird because I couldn't play it with myself, you know, to sort of like see. So I wasn't sure if this was going to be a game that would be like impossible or what. You guys are killing it right now. Dude, I was going through and I was like, okay, crying is popular. Kissing is popular. Hearts are popular. Cry laughing is popular. Thumbs up is popular. And then maybe that one is like six. That's how I got there. All right, Mark.

38:38I sent you another one. Wade, the scale on this one is that zero is a bad first date. The worst first date even. And 20 is a great first date. Best one you could think of. I got it. I don't even need to think about it. You went on the date. You came home. Dropping her off. A nice firm handshake.

39:00Mark Fischbach:Okay. That's below average. It's not great. I said nice. I said a nice firm handshake. Yeah, a nice firm handshake. A good handshake is what I heard. It's firm. It's firm. It's a firm handshake. Okay, let me walk through the words that you said here. You went out. No description of the date. But afterward, you were still driving her. She didn't call for someone. She didn't lie to get out of it. So you were still together. So it's closer to probably an average, below average date. Firm handshakes. That's not good. Firm handshakes is not good. Not a slap, but like how much worse could it get? Or, you know, what would be like a three versus like a seven on this?

39:47Mark Fischbach:That's, you know. Oh, three is pretty bad, isn't it? I mean, a three would be like a one out of ten, which I know it's just a different scale of numbers, but I feel like we have a much stronger frame of reference for. You still drove them home and you had the firm handshake. Didn't go well. Didn't go poorly. That's a seven. That's close. It's close-ish. It's close-ish. Mark was going for a 10. I should have said a smile and a firm handshake. Honestly, just a little bit of affirmation because like, yeah. But I mean, I figured it had to be below average. If you're ending in a handshake. That's not a negative interaction It just means like oh we're not We're not fit to date you know like we're cool We had fun but like I guess in my brain I was thinking average you're probably going on a second Date yeah you're probably going on a second Date but you might go on a second date here if I end up With a handshake I don't know I don't know Either one of us be reaching back out I'd say it's a coin Flip but whether you're going on a second date if you get a handshake Which would put it right in the middle I mean like if you get the handshake but then you come Back and you're like look I have a way Cooler date let's let's do this Like if you come back with a nice thoughtful full proposition of some sort like how about this you could get a shot that's fair i was anywhere between my honestly i was between a seven eight nine and i just just i don't know i felt so awful for this imaginary person wait just doesn't think as much of handshakes as we do mark yeah yeah i said nice and firm nice and firm if you're going inside it's like this was a crazy first date if you're getting a kiss it's like okay that's that's pretty darn good to me a hug is maybe you're getting a second date that's still like above average though i would say if it ends with a hug that's a good sign you're getting a second date that's a good sign it went well and it's just like okay well maybe maybe you just need more time to hang out maybe the date did not involve a lot of talking right and it's like well we should we should hang out somewhere i don't think i've ever shaken a person's hand after a date well maybe you're doing it wrong even the bad ones i think ended in like a hug but i it's been 15 years i don't remember so oh yeah that's the other thing I forgot to mention during the small talk, Molly and I have been dating for 14 years as of a day before this recording, so that's crazy.

41:54Mark Fischbach:And how many of those dates ended with a nice handshake? Well, most of the dating period was spent on Minecraft, so I don't think you could shake hands back then. I mean, servers, you need to handshake to connect to them, so I think, you know... Hop on Skype, turn the camera on. That was a fun time building that castle. What are they? Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place.

42:29Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. something about the handshake being offered at face level i was very like

42:47Mark Fischbach:i think the dating one's a hard one it's hard for me to think of like individual numbers in there it's like stormed out hit that's more personal too in a way maybe that made that more difficult right because everyone kind of feels i just don't differentiate the different numbers there that's a tough thing to differentiate wait i just sent you your next one all right mark this scale is zero is a young person's name and 20 is an old person's name young to old yes for the listeners out there wade's thinking so hard that you can see the steam coming off of his bald bald head i can wow i can hear it you could hear a little sizzle sam cook bacon on his head sam cook a full english on there have the beans coming out of his mouth like a waterfall i don't have many examples of something I think of for this.

43:39Well, you know people of all sorts of ages.

43:41Mark Fischbach:Think about their names if you remember them. I have a lot of ideas that I'm like, wait, that's Bofa. That's Bofa? Bofa needs nothing. Yeah, it's names of like, oh, that's a young name and an old name. I need to hit somewhere either in the middle or toward one of those extremes, you know? You do need to hit somewhere between 0 and 20, that's for sure. I didn't realize I was going to need a timer. I assumed we'd all have... God! I hate this one, Bob. I actually hate this one. I'm gonna have to ask you to pick a name. Can I name one for each gender? If it gets an answer right now. Yes. Liam and Maddie.

44:15Liam and Maddie. Weirdly enough, that doesn't help me much at all. Liam feels relatively new-ish, younger-ish, I think. Maddie, that is short for Mattis' son, which even that isn't the oldest name. It's not like Margaret or, you know, Maribeth or something like that. So it's on the younger side, which would be lower, right? Younger is lower. Older is higher. So in the grand scheme of naming, it's skewing young. But I feel like there might be younger names out there. But it's pretty down there. And I've done this multiple times where I think of a number and then I skew it one number away. I'm going to go five.

45:00My number was three.

45:02Mark Fischbach:Okay. All right. Okay. That's going to earn you a point. that's gonna earn you a point so the one of the first names i thought of i was like oh i'll just say james because james is like actually basically like three right now what a hint i was like but james is kind of a name that could fit anywhere in the spectrum and then i thought of leah but i was like ah what if he thinks leah neeson leah neeson's like 900 years old that's what i thought i did not think leah sounded that young when you said leah first i was like oh no yeah i think it's a more common younger name and then maddie i know some like madisons and maddies that are young but But then I was like, but the name Madeline could be short for Mad.

45:36Mark Fischbach:Like Maddie could be short for Madeline. And Madeline doesn't sound like a younger name at this point, right? Like that's a more of a middle of the road or higher name. So any of the names I thought of individually, I was like, oh, that could be skewed. But I was like, if I say two names that both kind of skew young, maybe. Yeah, I got you. I got you, man. Well, you got Mark a point. So I was like, there's not that many Wade's. Wade's becoming more popular. But if I say Wade, they're going to say, oh, man, that's old. Because me. Yeah, we would. So I was going through it. That was a really hard one for me to think of names.

46:03Mark Fischbach:I also don't have no idea what like the latest trends on names was. So I have no clue, but you hit close to my number and I'm happy about that. That's all we need. This is going to be the last one. Okay. We did go first. Zero on this one is would not survive the apocalypse. 20 is definitely would survive the apocalypse. Does this have to be real people or? It could be anything you want. I'm trying to put almost no limits on the clue. I almost just said the number out loud again. That would help me immensely. If you want a hint, Wade, just wash my mouth. It might slip out. Joel from The Last of Us.

46:44Mark Fischbach:Okay. He's great until he doesn't. Spoilers. Survive. Okay. I want to rehash what you said. You said Joel from The Last of Us. Oh, please don't do this. please don't do this you didn't say part two right what are you getting at right now he's trying to separate one from two and don't do this it's the same i can tell you wait it's the same guy okay i will hold on the apocalypse happens joel survives he survives a while he's a very good survivor but then ultimately he's not my initial thought is somewhere right around a 15 would i say joel's higher than a 15 i don't know how niche your explanation is getting versus just picking a person that you thought he said like seven words he did not there is not a lot of niche to it i'm not trying to skew the results but i do i do just want to help mark out he did keep it pretty simple i don't think there's a lot of secret messaging built into that one unless there is which case i'm ruining everything i'm gonna go one up and say a 16 that's a really good guess mark was trying to get you to guess 17 okay because i was like man he's above he's above a 15 he's gotta be but like he's gotta be right yeah i would be like he would be at 20 if he didn't you know so i was like man this could be as high as an 18 but like the 75th percentile maybe i don't know so it could even be a 17 i went 16 i went once closer than what i was my original no you still that was pretty much optimal for you wade you didn't give out any free points for getting it exactly right but you nailed it well you guys did so much better at that than i i was worried it was gonna be like no one ever gets it ever i wasn't sure how hard it would be that worked out great nah he and i were locked in we were locked in you guys were like cheating or some shit that was crazy that's what we were doing it took a while for us to text each other the other numbers thank god you had us using our phones mark say 16 right now i think the one where wade took forever to think he was like like his phone froze or something I gotta text Mark no particular order Mark you earned points for avoiding prison, passing out and or puking, except you didn't I was going to take that away if you did end up puking but you didn't.

48:57Happy tears for my footholes I think you earned a lymph point, you got points in the game for correctly guessing how pessimistic it was about the toilet paper ethics popularity of emojis and the youngness of the name Wade gave you. Wade, you earned points for sports, gummy bears, whoa, Johnny Bravo. How much do you even lymph, bro? You guessed correctly on the freshness of the memes, the excitingness of the museum. You had a point for cloth off the bone and bofa and you also guessed correctly on Joel from The Last of Us, leaving Mark with eight points plus two lie points, which as of yet don't mean anything but could swing the whole thing potentially and wade with

49:48Mark Fischbach:nine points so wade is winning no this is not there cannot be another wade has the most points but loses i can't go through it again how would even that could happen the real number for winning was actually eight so you were close i know man how many spins will there be Not just one Okay That's good for somebody Bonus points Do I add cloth off the bone Or do I add absolute value Because I really like both of those One of them will just be removed one day And we're like what even I think you can do both I'm not going to stop you You're the judge so Whose cloth was more Off the bone this episode Oh, that's going to get removed immediately.

50:38It's going to come up in like nine months. That's going to come back up for the first time, and we're going to be like, fucking delete that.

50:45Mark Fischbach:Is this how all of our other stuff that makes no sense got onto? We're just like, oh, this will be funny for us next year. I mean, honestly, I would love to say that, but it's not true. Usually we're like, yeah, this means something to us. It's real. It's real. And it's not real. This is real, man. All right. One spin. Oh, please don't do that to me. Oh, please. Great wheel. Competitor who was born first. Damn. Unless if I call the thing on that, could it potentially make him? Oh God. What the fuck? You make you older than him somehow? There's one way to find out. All right. I'm going to call it unfair just because.

51:27Mark Fischbach:So if it's heads, then it's unfair. If it's tails, I'm doubly the oldest. unfair on Wade being born first. If it's all heads, Mark wins, and it needs to be made fair. So I will be older than you. And if it's all tails, Mark loses, and I would say doubly fair would be Wade was born before everyone. Oh, yeah! Oh, boy! I'm gonna get old! I got heads. Oh, shit. Oh, thank God, because I got heads. I can re-flip if you guys when I gamble. Alright, so Wade was born first, and that remains the truth, which means that today's episode winner with 10 points is Wade. I didn't mean to sound so disappointed.

52:11It's Wade, everybody! Yay! It's Wade!

52:14Mark Fischbach:The comeback starts now. I have at least two more points than everyone else now, based on what I think I was told earlier this episode. I've at least got a bronze medal and wins. That's definitely true. This is definitely, hey, break this meme. This is the meme where I'm on the podium, biting the metal, kissing the lady, and shooting off the champagne, then I'm in third place. Yeah! That would have still been in kind of the right zone for me, I think. That's a good, like, above average meme. Woohoo! I did it! All right, Mark, loser speech? Oh, well, you know, I tried my best. I still don't understand what I could have done differently to get more points, because I was unsure if me doing well meant I got points, or if me doing poorly meant I lost points.

52:57Didn't seem that way, but it didn't matter, because I had fun and that's the end of the story for me. My story ends now. Sam, end my story.

53:08Mark Fischbach:He should have kept his cloth more off the bone. If there's anything we can take from the subchart, it's definitely that. Someone's going to say that shit to me on Twitter or in person. I'd be like, dude, cloth off the bone. I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm going to have no recollection of this in about... Get away from me, you freak. Get your cloth away from my bone. What's your name? Like, Liam or Maddie? Go away. Wow, what a young, stupid name. Anyway, thank you for listening and or watching to this episode. Yeah, sure. Check out Wade or Mark or myself on socials. Wade's Lord Minion777 or Minion777.

53:41Markiplier or I am Ice Cream. Check out the merch, distractible.shop. There's some stuff on there, maybe. There will be some stuff on there soon. Make sure you follow the podcast so you always know when there's new episodes. And look forward to Wade hosting one, finally. That's the end. and see you all in the next one. Bye. Podcast out.

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