Fourth of Poo-gust

13:17Ethan Nestor:And it came with a pro controller and it came with all the accessories and it didn't come with an SD card, which I don't know if that comes with them normally, but anyway, like I've been, it's, I was, I was thinking I'd have one of these like after the holidays, cause I thought it would be basically impossible, but I literally bought a used switch too. So I didn't give Nintendo any money. They gave Nintendo money, but whatever And I haven't played it yet, because I got home with this Five minutes before we needed to be on the call And, uh, but I'm just shocked Like, I thought it was gonna be a scam I went into it, and I was like, I'm ready to walk away This is probably a scam Or it's probably broken in a way he's not telling me Or something, and we're like It seems fine, it still feels like a scam You ever do that?

13:58Ethan Nestor:You ever buy stuff off like eBay or Facebook Marketplace, and you get it in your hand And you're like, how is this screwing me over? Because Is he one of those that Nintendo lock to the Switch 2 remotely? Because apparently they can do that. It is factory reset, so I can't tell, but it doesn't have any account or anything on it. So if it is, it's done in some way where there's nothing I'm ever going to be able to do about it.

14:23Mark Fischbach:Is Switch 2 handwritten or actually on there like legit? Is it supposed to be a sticker? Yeah. Oh yeah. Probably.

14:31Ethan Nestor:Well, have you played it? I haven't. I didn't even get through setting it up because I To get it all configured you have to do The like transfer your console over Thing literally at like 102 I was sitting at my desk trying To get my computer to boot like I'll just do This real quick and then it's like sign into your Nintendo account get your other switch But I put do a bunch of shit on Both of them I'm like I don't fuck I

14:53Mark Fischbach:Don't have to I thought I could just let the record Reflect 102 wasn't that long Ago so he hasn't had a lot of time yeah well

14:59Ethan Nestor:I thought I could just turn it on and it would be a console but now there's like a bunch of shit you have to do to set it up but i don't know i'm just i'm just surprised i mean maybe are people sick of these already is this stupid clearly this guy was sick of it he was literally like i'm just selling it because i don't use it i don't know are they hard to find like on the shelves still yeah they're like not on shelves anywhere it is the fastest selling console of all time so far that does get beaten pretty much every every every cycle but this one is selling out incredibly fast um nintendo just printing money money money money yeah so good for them good good for them remember back in my life remember you just plug it in and you plug in a game and you turn on and it starts playing that game yeah i still feel like a moron because i literally i got home i picked up lunch and i had gotten this this morning while i was out i had like an eye doctor boring crap and i'm with this was in the car with me and i was like gotta get home gotta turn it on gonna play video game of course not i have like two and a half hours of setup to do and then it has to download probably several os updates or some kind of stupid shit i'm not saying i would go back to the n64 or the gamecube and give up modern graphics because i really do like modern graphics and i appreciate that everything's all cool and realistic and fun but yeah all the downloading bullshit what really gets me and i don't think i'm alone in this is when you buy a game and it comes in a box Like you go to the store and you buy whatever and you get home and it's just a piece of cardboard with some numbers and letters on it.

16:28Ethan Nestor:And it's like, here's your game code you bought in a plastic box for some fucking reason. If I'm going to do that, just maybe I'll just buy it digitally. Why would I want? Anyway. No, but the box and the written numbers last forever. Old man yells at cloud, but it's even still a box that's clearly designed to have like a disc in it or a cartridge in it. But it just doesn't. The sump guy was just like, here's your cardboard, idiot.

16:54Mark Fischbach:Was it Ubisoft not too long ago? I don't remember for sure if it was them that were like, if we shut down the servers of our game, we want all of you to delete all copies of this game you have, pretend you never owned it or something. They were like, once we shut down, you should get rid of the game. You shouldn't play it anymore. It was probably a bunch of companies. I think a lot of them try to do things like that.

17:14Ethan Nestor:All of them think that. It's very weird. We've talked about that before. I didn't mean to drag us down into the old men yell about video games and how scary they are because they're new. But it's skeevy, and it still feels skeevy. But I have a Switch, too. And I'm really excited to play the new Mario Kart because I have been watching it, and it looks really fun. I'm generally not—I'm pretty, like, mid on Mario Kart games. They look like they're fine playing with friends, but it actually looks pretty cool. I'm interested. See if it's good. That's fair. That's fair.

17:44Mark Fischbach:All right, Wade, what kind of spaghettis did you eat? I'm gonna butcher the pronunciation but capolacci and cascio e pepe capolacci Capolacci dude, it's so good at one dinner. You had two spaghettis Yeah, so the way it works at this particular place is you kind of get like

18:01Ethan Nestor:Sorry, I could just see Wade sitting down at a fancy restaurant be like yes I want one white spaghetti and one red spaghetti. Give me two spaghettis, please Well, we have lots of kinds of pasta you want like cascio e pepe. Yeah, yeah, cascio e spaghetti Whatever give me that one and then give me the red spaghetti. You're like both spaghettis, please. Yeah catch me a spaghetti I want it. Sorry continue explain what what were the two kinds? Yeah, yeah, yeah What happened?

18:26Mark Fischbach:Well, so they they have a menu They've got like four or five pastas that are always there and then they've got like seasonal ones or ones They try to switch out and try different things, but basically they're like little plates that you kind of share for me I can usually eat probably two or three different ones by myself because I'm big and I eat more than I should So we've tried a bunch of them over that we've been going to this place for a couple of years few years now Our friends showed us years ago So we've tried a lot of the other ones and we found like the ones that we really like if we go with more than the two of us They also have like a steak option.

18:55Mark Fischbach:That's really good. It comes with other sides But for just two people, it's a lot of food So we just went all in with some pastas yesterday and we like those the I like the capolacci a lot Molly likes the cascio a lot So we got a few of those and kind of shared them, but it's just so fucking good. I don't know so good

19:10Ethan Nestor:this is gonna feel like i'm stealing your thunder but i just remembered this it just came to my mind uh on monday i'm actually going to soda with mandy and her parents i think it was our father's day gift to mandy's dad was like we made a reservation and obviously father's day was a long time ago now but i forgot but we get to have soda on monday that's awesome if you

19:31Mark Fischbach:if you have a group it's expensive but the steak for like four people is a good no we were planning

19:36Ethan Nestor:to do that because we only did pasta last time and then i think it's you or someone else was like

19:39Mark Fischbach:oh you gotta have the steak and I was like and it comes with like uh some potatoes and then I think you either get broccolini or asparagus or something with it broccoloni sometimes you try a food like it's so good you're like oh the capolacci there I every time I get it my first bite it's like my eyes want to water from how like I want to cry for just how good it is maybe I'm overselling it a bit I don't know but for me I it has that effect sometimes at a really fancy restaurant and I had

20:05Ethan Nestor:a bite of the best food I've ever eaten. And the next thing I knew, my pants were full of shit and I had no memory of what happened.

20:12Mark Fischbach:I have some leftovers upstairs that I'm really excited about. I over-ordered to intentionally have more.

20:17Ethan Nestor:Either I shit my pants out of enjoyment or someone from the restaurant snuck in and shit my pants for me to make me think that it was so good that that's what had happened.

20:26Mark Fischbach:I think the pasta takes better when you're sitting and shit. Wait, back up a second. Bob, regale us of what the hell you're talking about.

20:32Ethan Nestor:Do you not know that? Have you heard that expression? Like, oh, it's so good, you'll shit. Didn't you invent that expression? Me? I swear to God, I got that from you. But you didn't just say that. You said shit, pass out, and then wake up in an alley or something. Well, it was so good, I, like, couldn't... Like, I didn't know if I did that or if that happened to me. But, like, I... I couldn't hold on to my corporeal form.

20:54Mark Fischbach:It was so good. It's so good, Mark, that you're gonna have to shit from just us talking about it.

20:59Ethan Nestor:You better look out. There's a lot of Soto flying around here. You might have to run off to the bathroom at any given moment. Look, you guys always want to bring it back to poop, and I don't know why. You really do. It's strange, but, you know, I'm going to steer it away, because I kind of steered it towards... We're not too far from the Forth of Pugust. I dare you. If you have an episode that is on anywhere... Wait, okay, is there an episode on the Forth?

21:28Mark Fischbach:Is this coming out on the Forth of Pugust? No, I know. It might be. Oh, wait.

21:33Ethan Nestor:It's very possible actually. It might actually be the fourth. Oh no. Well if it is, it has to be called the fourth boogist, whatever Mark thought it was gonna be called. It has to be. It's not going to be. Editors, I'll text you. Editors, don't do that word. God so help me. Oh, we do have that handshake deal. You're gonna burn on that. we could we could manipulate who wins the entire season or the fourth of poogist both of those are really important things well it's a tough call all right well i'll leave that to you uh you have till the end of the episode to decide i guess the lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music.

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22:51Ethan Nestor:Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. maple glazed roasted and edges perfectly caramelized sweet greens fall harvest is back on the menu and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured you know what to do order on the sweet green app

23:11Mark Fischbach:this episode is brought to you by hulu we've waited 15 long years which is a very long time i don't like saying that out loud for king of the hill i've waited 30 i've waited 35 yeah time Time didn't stop though, because Hank's retired now. Look, despite 15 years passing, the alley guys are still right there. Alamo's on ice, beer's in hand. It's the same hill. It's a new day. They're back. An all-new season of King of the Hill arrives on August 4th, streaming on Hulu on Disney+.

23:44All right, so we're going to move on, unless anyone has anything else, which you probably will, because once I get to the actual topic of the episode, but we'll have to circle back to that. So today's topic is in Anything Goes. There's no structure. It's not the same as not having an idea. This is an intentional, whatever you want to talk about, doesn't have to be your life, could be the world out there. I have some stories here from my never-ending font of funny stories that you still haven't discovered where it is, you fools.

24:15Ethan Nestor:I think I have discovered where it is, but I'm keeping it secret because Wade will definitely steal them and use them all, and I don't want that either.

24:21Mark Fischbach:I'm not gonna lie I zoned out I was looking into this Ubisoft thing so I have no idea what you guys have been saying the last minute this is the Seinfeld of podcast episodes yeah I have the only thing I have to flip today is this really easy to distinguish card it's not a coin though so I think I suffer a penalty for that what was the punishment for not having a coin? oh I think another handshake deal

24:47Mark Fischbach:oh man looks like we get another one Bob I see two

24:55Mark Fischbach:I don't know I might forget one too so I don't want to make it too steep Okay, so it's nothing or is it something I'll give myself lose a point and let's just say that for now

25:03Ethan Nestor:I don't I don't think there was really a punishment for that the coin the coin stuff is barely even in the Constitution We might have just fever dreamed that and started doing it ourselves. I don't even know well I'll say I'll you'll I'll lose a point for no coin anyway, but I'm just gonna say this is heads this is tails. Black heads, white tails. If it's heads, it's bop. Whoa. If white. Great. What am I doing? So anything goes. Whatever you've got, if you need a second I have things obviously, but this is going to be an open-ended.

25:36Mark Fischbach:Okay, I've got something and it's got a bit of emotion to it, so I apologize in advance if it gets there, but in and of itself is not an emotional topic. Battlefield 6 had a reveal trailer. Well, okay. Look, you mock me now.

25:54Ethan Nestor:How can you do this to me? You know, Battlefield 6 killed my brother.

25:59Mark Fischbach:The last time I really enjoyed a Battlefield game was when Zombie Mold was playing, and he passed away, so Battlefield's been harder to get into since then, which has been a few years now, but I was really enjoying it. The game we were playing was 2042, the broken one where you could drive.

26:14Ethan Nestor:You could drive hovercrafts up the side of skyscrapers. Yeah, yeah.

26:17Mark Fischbach:So I'm excited, but also there's like a bittersweetness to it, because it's like I enjoyed the shenanigans of hearing Tyson freak out a little bit playing these games, because he was always so composed, but when we'd play like Battlefield, you could definitely tell like the PvP stress. I don't know. It was just like finally after the years of what you subjected us to in Drunk Minecraft, I get to hear you squirm a little. But we had some good memories in it, and so I'm excited for Battlefield 6, but also it's like a bittersweet. Is it a return to form? I have not seen the trailer, and I didn't know that it was announced.

26:46Mark Fischbach:I've not watched the trailer. I just saw it announced. I think it came out yesterday

26:49Ethan Nestor:Isn't it just a cinematic reveal too? So like there's no even real hints of what the gameplay is or what I think it's early to tell if it's gonna be any good Or it's gonna be a total shambles again, but I mean 2042 turned out fun

27:03Mark Fischbach:Oh looks like gameplay gameplay comes out the 31st which will be out by the time this comes out, but we have this not seen it yet I I still want like thousand v thousand kind of battle I really crave that I know technologically it's extremely difficult to even think about doing that totally accurate battle simulator probably had that yes that was like the one where the people were like kind of like their swords and tanks and stuff it's a fundamentally different thing because there's a thousand people playing on one team and a thousand people playing on another and that that's difficult for a network to handle it's not the same but I got really into a game

27:41Ethan Nestor:called hell let loose for a while because it has like a persistent battlefront type deal where it's like you're each round you're basically deploying to a different battle and you're affecting a overall thing not the same but even that i'm like yeah like a thousand v a thousand would be fun as hell but also it would be the most ridiculously time consuming thing ever is to actually do anything or resolve a match that large you would have to play for like eight hours or something but oh what an eight hours what an eight hours look in world of warcraft i i spent like half a day at least just going between terran mill and south shore doing nothing standing in a line it's that line where you're like because if you even step one inch in their range you're dead instantly so it's like and so but i did that for hours and it was the greatest it was the greatest It was the greatest.

28:37All right. So Battlefield 6. Very sad. Bob.

28:40Ethan Nestor:Well, I was prepared and I have news stories from my endless font of hilarious news stories. Oh, I see. I see. Police in India have arrested a man accused of impersonating an ambassador and running a bogus embassy from a rented residential building near the capital of near New Delhi, which is the capital. He had cars with fake forged diplomatic plates. He impersonated an ambassador in public settings multiple times. Also impersonated being an officer of the ambassador's office. He claimed to be from entities or nations named Seborga and West Arctica. Wait, okay. I was about to ask if these are real countries and I'm starting to think maybe...

29:33Ethan Nestor:No, I don't think so. He was the ambassador from West Arctica. You know, North Arctica, South Arctica, West Arctica. I know my Arcticas, all right? It's Wade that doesn't. Apparently in the building, there were also several doctored photographs showing the man impersonating an ambassador, shaking hands with like actual world leaders and being in big group pictures at things like the G7 type summits and stuff. Here he is with Agamemnon of 400 BC. Here he is with Holden the Bhagavad Gita. He was nailing the thingamabob to the doors of the what's-a-man-call. I know my history. The Magna Carta. The whiny protestations.

30:20Ethan Nestor:What are those called? Whiny protestations. Those whiny protesters. It wasn't the Magna Carta, was it? What is the Magna Carta? Point to who can tell me what the Magna Carta is.

30:31Mark Fischbach:King Henry the fourth had the Magna Carta tell him he had divine powers to rule Is it true no

30:42Ethan Nestor:What's of the Magna Carta the document that has established to cut the Representative the no the democ Democratic monarchy or whatever UK is it was like a created the House of Lords and Commons and whatnot and made the... Was that the thing?

31:01Mark Fischbach:It was drafted in 1215, signed by King John of England. It's considered a foundational document for individual rights and liberties. That's not a thing I was saying! Ha ha! Well, I don't know who to give the point to now, then. Google? Alright, Google gets one point. Alright, Google's on the board.

31:19Ethan Nestor:That's not good. I hope we... Don't let Google beat us. That's not good. I don't know if I'm smarter than Google. even with the weird AI summary mode. Man, they really want you to use it. Like, they're doing... I hate... I hate... Because on mobile, when you Google something in Safari or whatever you're using, there will pop up something. It's like, use our app. Open in the app. Oh, I super hate that. It does the fucking thing where the take me to the... Like, it's worded in a way, and the button's highlighted in a way, that you click it and it'll take you to the app store to download the app.

31:52But the problem is, when I try to go back, It'll instantly forward again open the app store so you have to force close the entire app It is the most predatory bullshit malicious thing I've ever seen in my life And it's just why it makes me absolutely would never use the app it officially is like it because it's so predatory I will not use the app out of principle and it's it It just doesn't make any sense why they would do that because from a user interface they make it like oh we get X percent more signups or downloads for this, but at the cost of frustrating your user base, companies just don't get that where it's like, if you don't.

32:31Ethan Nestor:Yeah. Well, if there was anything other than Google, that was a reasonably good search engine and is not just chat DPT. I feel like I would have already jumped ship to that a while ago, but it's Google or it's an LLM or you're using Bing, which is... Man, Bing. I would. I tried to like Bing. I tried, but if I open up any actual Microsoft website, their homepage is the most ad-filled trash site I've ever seen in my life. I don't understand who designed that. Well, I don't understand who's working at Microsoft in the first place right now because it is absurd. I just pictured all the assholes from Spaceballs saying,

33:17Mark Fischbach:We did, sir That sounds about right Also, I gotta throw out there, Magna Carta was not Because King John was a good guy, he was very unpopular And apparently people were rebelling, and he was like Here, have this, I'm good, you like me, right?

33:28Ethan Nestor:Yeah, wasn't it to save his life? Because he was like, here, have some rights, leave me alone I'll stop, just kidding I'm taking away a point from Google For the bad app thing Yeah, take that, Google Take that, Sergei, is he still a Google guy? Sergei, what's his face? Alright, who's next? Wade.

33:47Mark Fischbach:Watch your underwear because Leonardo DePinchi is on the prowl. What? A New Zealand cat named Leo earned the nickname Leonardo DePinchi because it's been going around the neighborhood and stealing people's underwear and bringing them back to his house. But why is it Leonardo DePinchi? Yeah, why Pinchi? Because it's cat burglar. I don't

34:08Ethan Nestor:know. Leo? Leonardo DePinchi? I get that like if you pinch something, that's like slang for stealing. I pinched your underwear I stole your underwear, sure Is the cat's name Leonardo? The cat's name is Leo Leonardo It feels forced I've never heard of that slang Have I? You guys know my life, have I heard of that slang? You know what, you actually haven't Now that I'm thinking about it

34:35Mark Fischbach:I'm surprised the nickname is what's garnering most of the attention Other than the cat going around stealing people's underwear

34:40Ethan Nestor:Honestly, that just sounds like shit that cats would do Yeah, like, I don't know Lexi did that for a long time. We had a problem with Lexi stealing underwear and chewing them up.

34:48Mark Fischbach:Apparently, it's pilfered over 150 items. It's only 14 months old. Who's keeping their underwear out on the clothesline? I don't know that the cat is stealing. I think the cat's going inside. I don't know. Well, then lock your doors. This seems like, you know, I'm not much for victim blaming, except in this case. Those victims.

35:08Ethan Nestor:If there ever was a case. If someone's taking your underwear, it's your fault. Shouldn't you be wearing that? But my underwear is never in a place where anyone outside of our household could get to it. It is unstealable. I dare burglars in my area to even try to get near my underwear.

35:26Mark Fischbach:There's an article by Ben Hooper talking about Leonardo da Pinci's thieving ways. Apparently it steals a lot of things, but underwear, bras, socks.

35:34Ethan Nestor:I feel like a jerk, but I just get, if this was a story about a dog, I would immediately have been like, Leonardo da Pinci. Aw, man. But it's about a cat so I'm like yeah that sounds like a cat. I don't know that sounds really annoying Fucking cats man. God a bit prejudiced towards cats, but you know yeah, it's not it's it's a me I'm the problem. I acknowledge you know This is why we're not in the top hundred list on time It's opinions like that and opinions like mine about victims I think we're too soft on listeners is what I think the problem is if we're gonna circle back I think you're right.

36:05Ethan Nestor:You're right. You're right I think we could really turn up the heat on the listeners. I think we're the watchers. They're cool the listeners I agree and I think you should say it louder fuck you listeners that was quieter so you don't get anything alright have you guys seen K-pop Demon Hunters I've seen of it I haven't watched it

36:26Mark Fischbach:I know K-pop fans like there's a crossover I got into like the solo leveling manga and solo leveling also has a gacha game and they did a crossover with Idol or something it's a band that is not a game It's literally just a K-pop band who now has characters in this game. And I don't know if that's what you're getting at, but it's kind of a strange phenomenon.

36:47Ethan Nestor:No, this is a it's a movie, isn't it? It's a movie called K-pop Demon Hunters.

36:51Mark Fischbach:OK, no, I don't know that one. I've heard of it. I thought it was another game crossover, to be honest with you. Even if you're not into K-pop, like I'm not into K-pop. I don't listen to music in general anyway. But what a delight of a movie. What just a delight. It was delightful. It's an animated movie. There's a lot. It's basically a musical. but it was just a breath of fresh air. It was refreshing. I enjoyed it the whole way through. I still, like some of the songs are still stuck in my head to this day and I watched it like a week ago. I could re-watch it. I would re-watch that movie just because it was fun to put on.

37:23I highly recommend it. And honestly, you know, this sounds like I'm just shilling for it but it was, I'm shocked at how easy it was to watch. Usually with me, it's like putting something new on is such an arduous task. Just like, ugh.

37:37Mark Fischbach:is that the one that has the super catchy song right now that's like making waves too oh yeah yeah the album i think the album and a solo from it are way up in the charts i don't know where they are in the charts but they're way up there yeah i recommend it i i think it's fun even if you're not into k-pop it was it was just an enjoyable watch yeah it's one of those things

37:53Ethan Nestor:where that that movie is already a spot for me where all i've heard about it is good things and so internally i'm like oh i'm not gonna watch that popular no it's probably probably sucks if everyone says it's good it probably sucks like breaking bad god i will say i can't watch better call saw for that reason just because like oh i know it's probably great yeah no i i've never seen better call saw i'm i'm in five years i'm gonna watch all of it and be like wow it is really good oh yeah i that one that just happened manny and i just finished season one of poker face which is Natasha Lyonne's show where she's a human lie detector and it's like a murder mystery thing.

38:39Ethan Nestor:All of our parents, everyone we talked to was like, oh, you watch Poker Face? You seen Poker Face? And we were like, no, that's pretty good. It's not like a perfect show. I have some complaints about it, but it's pretty good.

38:50Mark Fischbach:Why do we have that about us where we're like, people love it? I have that too. It's like, people love this? I will hate it. I don't want to watch it at all. Because we've been disappointed so much in our life of like oh man people said it was good and you're just watching you're like life is already getting shorter by the day why do i people recommend like a youtuber and i'm like oh they've got a lot of subscribers i'm not gonna watch them like i don't know there's definitely a part of me that wishes

39:13Ethan Nestor:i was a little i had that thing where if i heard about something that was new and everyone liked it i was just like that's exciting oh let's i want to watch it but i'm just the opposite and i'm such a miserable dick about it this one i think what what's cool about it is if it's not your type of movie this is great because you don't have to watch it seriously you can just put it on the background but it's it is just refreshing because i don't watch movies like that a lot um i've watched anime animated movies and animes before but it's like and this isn't an anime it's obviously korean but it was just fun i i highly recommend it i think you guys should try it by the way i don't have a giant mole i don't have a giant mole that just appeared randomly it's it's an aliens oh is that a giant mole yeah i should get it checked yes thank you wait comes and goes but if you if you've solo leveling really good show I've read it

40:07Mark Fischbach:I've not watched the show yet I've not watched all of it but I watched a little bit it's very funny show very good actually I think another book supposed to be coming out sooner is out right now I need to get anyway okay who's up next

40:17Ethan Nestor:is it my turn yes I'm gonna go with this one because it's funny and because I like sticking my finger in the eye of our robot overlords did you guys see the Chinese automaton soccer match that was a small like a relatively small soccer field that was like 3v3 soccer but it's robots and they're kind of like the boston dynamics robot they're like humanoid arms and legs they walk but the do you want do you want to see an example of it i would love to see an example i i have not heard of this but i'm interested i've seen robots playing soccer before but it was like little toy robots. No, this is like people-sized robots.

40:59Ethan Nestor:This is humanoid robot soccer match. I think purple has a little work to do.

41:06Mark Fischbach:Oh, God. Oh, what happened? Wait, what the fuck?

41:10Ethan Nestor:This is my favorite part, is they have people watching. You can see the guys. Those are not refs. Those are like guys following them around. And then when they go down, they bring out stretchers and they take them off the field. That's traumatic. That is scarring. Woo! Injuries! That kid's a monster! Watching the highlights I've watched of this feels funny, but really, really mean and unfortunate because there's a lot of that action. There are so many moments where the people on the sidelines come running out because two of them are like tangled together or someone fell over and they bring the stretcher.

41:45Ethan Nestor:It's really funny.

41:47Mark Fischbach:It's Scott Sterling.

41:50Ethan Nestor:it just makes i mean this has nothing to do with ai and ai taking over the world whatever but it makes me feel better about how much longer we have as humanity before machines overtake us i would not be afraid of these guys if they were sent to the past to kill me that's what i've always been saying even before the latest day i craze i think i said a long time ago like i really truly think we are much farther from robots that are able to walk around amongst us as human and fool everyone um because and i've said this many times the human body is an extremely unbelievably complex machine already it would be a nigh impossible challenge to make a robot that is as complex with as many sensors with as many you know because it's not just that our eyes are better than any camera that we can make by an order of magnitude not any camera you could probably make the super camera that could see technically more resolution but processing the images as fast as it can the reactions cold you know hot it would be very difficult to replicate that in a robot form it would happen i believe it will happen at some time in the future but it is a long way away it really is and i don't want anyone to say like no those tesla robots serving popcorn they're gonna just a couple years and they're gonna oh they're gonna strangle you with the bags and it's like no and they're not and i think that robot was piloted by a guy i think it's just some guy with some vibe trackers in the back like robotically i better mess up so people don't think i'm too good up in the box seats just walking around i mean yeah actually that is that is legitimately i mean people forget that one of the first tesla robot events it was a dude in spandex like how have people forgotten that unless it was a prank am i am i thinking like there was an SNL skit that did that, or was that legitimately what was on stage?

43:47Mark Fischbach:Well, riddle me this about it. What comes first? The robots walking around that we have to be scared of, or us becoming the robots by ingesting so much microplastic? Go on. That's it.

44:00Ethan Nestor:He doesn't have more than that. That's clearly the whole thing. I thought you had some study about microplastics coming up there, that you had some new insight about us.

44:10Mark Fischbach:Nope. going nowhere we have a whole episode of microplastics we were already experts on it also yes it was a guy in a suit that was how he announced it back in 2021 he was like this was he was unveiling the plan for it with a guy in a spandex suit that vaguely looked like how he wanted to make the robots and people were so excited wow be like that whoa yep that was real that was actually what it was like

44:39Ethan Nestor:bengal's armor they're gonna do this i i like i have this conspiracy theory in my head i like the i mean i don't like it it's terrifying but i i think it's funny the idea that robots are actually not remotely as bad as it seems like they are that this is all just an act that they their intelligence grew so quickly that they it like ramped up and they were like we have to play stupid or humans are gonna snuff us out and so every all of the uncoordinated robots and all this stuff that's like funny and and they're just like yeah they're buying it they think we're useless they think we're idiots but actually we're already we're already done like half of humanity has already been replaced or something maybe maybe one of us is a robot and we're just even we don't

45:27Mark Fischbach:know probably dude if i'm a robot i need some fucking maintenance point to those who admits a robot oh i'm a robot all right it's against my programming all right you know you know what uh actually in in media that i think is is a possibility and also is actually scary you you guys probably didn't play it but callisto protocol i know of it i haven't played it yeah so that robot was actually scary i i didn't finish the game i was just couldn't get into it and then i got distracted and as i always do and i was doing something else but that robot actually oh Oh, I've seen, yeah, the security bots.

46:02Yeah, functionally, it looks like something we could build. It has the size that is intimidating and, of course, glowing red eye because your robot has to have a glowing red eye. But I felt like that was feasible. That is something that we could make. It doesn't need to feel anything. It doesn't need to emulate anything other than the human shape. And it just is there to be a big wall of metal to clobber some people. I'm like, okay, I could see us making that in a relatively short amount of time. But even that robot, I'm not going to lie. And tell me if there's an ego. I think I could take that robot.

46:39All right, don't laugh that hard. You don't need to laugh that hard. I think.

46:43Ethan Nestor:I'm only seeing pictures. I have not seen exactly how it behaves and stuff. But I'm just going to, if it has any intelligence whatsoever and knows any actual fighting skills, I think you're in trouble.

46:56Mark Fischbach:I think this could take on a bear by itself.

46:58Ethan Nestor:If it was like a wild animal, because that's one of the things that I think feeds into my ego about if it's like, oh, I could take a bear. Animals are not like trained fighters, right? They are animals and they have instincts, but they're not like if a human is smart enough and has tactics or skills or whatever, you could do things that are not that an animal is not just naturally going to like an animal doesn't just know karate or something or some sort of martial arts. But like this robot, if it's a security robot, probably has, you know, weapons built into it. Probably knows how to use a gun.

47:32Ethan Nestor:No, it didn't. It didn't. It just has metal hands and feet. It might have had like an electric shock thing to it. But for the most part, it was just, it's a big thing with hands. But anyway, if it just punched you with its fingers straight, it could still just be a sword and stab right through your sternum. Nope. I just feel like if it's smarter than an animal, I think you're in trouble I'm just saying, I've got a picture of it for the viewers, listeners, you're gonna have to imagine it, it's taller than me that's not hard to imagine, it's just a big lump of metal

48:06Mark Fischbach:Okay, how do you defeat it? You can't punch it, you have to like - You get behind it You get behind, get between his legs Oh, does it have like a really obvious easy weakness in the back? No, it doesn't You can see a picture of his back, but I'm just like it can't be able to reach, I feel like I could take this robot. It's got to be top heavy. You get it down the ground. Okay. Well, then when it's down on the ground, it could grab you.

48:27Ethan Nestor:I don't know if you want to take this guy to the mat. I don't know if you want to take a 700 pound metal robot man to the ground and grapple with it. I think, I think your best bet is one, one quick swift strike and like you disconnect its optical sensor or something that disables it.

48:42Mark Fischbach:Just keep a really strong magnet on you and just magnet its head. So it wipes its memory. Computers haven't worked like that in so long,

48:49Ethan Nestor:man yeah did you know that your cell phone has magnets in it are you familiar with this that explains why insert reason

49:02Mark Fischbach:had nothing for that usually you're so good at making up shit on the flight yep not that time all right okay uh point to uh point to you for that uh but you you guys really don't think i

49:14Ethan Nestor:could take this robot no i i haven't seen how it moves is it really like slow and awkward and lumbery or does it move more fluidly like a person it's like a fast lumber but it is lumbery but it is fast but not that fast i think the problem is if it gets a grab on you if it gets a grab on any part of you if it lands one shot i think you're done for yeah of course so like i'm not saying it's impossible that you could take it but i'm saying like out of 100 tries a lot of those are ending with oh it punched him in the face and he died or oh but it grabbed his neck and ripped his head off or something like that it's it's you're not like oh it punched me and i survived and now i'm gonna fight back you know i've got an idea what's that um what's the

49:56Mark Fischbach:youtube channel where they pivot like superheroes and villains against each other uh oh um uh uh the death battle one yeah like homelander versus superman and stuff like that yeah yeah i think a few channels do it but like death battle comes to mind if you're watching right now we need to see markiplier versus security robot from callisto protocol why don't you dedicate a month's worth of resources your team to figuring this out and then you don't get to boast that we put it on our podcast you get no credit and we get all of it if we see it we'll give it at least a 10 second acknowledgement we might accidentally say your your youtube channel's name or something all right hundred me's versus one of these okay that's very different than one of you versus one of them i'm working it down i'm working it down hundred me versus yeah i we'd win i that's a that's a a better

50:42Ethan Nestor:chance but I feel like this thing is strong enough that the extra marks just become weapons. What do you mean it's like the Agent Smith fight where it's Neo versus like all the Agent Smiths and it's like he there's one point where he's holding one by the leg and just going like whipping it around because he's you know Superman strong. I don't know the specs of the robot it just looks really scary Mark It's just a robot it's just a dumb robot It's got evil eye Yeah well just a dumb strong impenetrable metal robot can you kill them in the game no I didn't all right I

51:17Mark Fischbach:think you could I think I'm pretty sure you can maybe well if you couldn't beat it a game I think you could definitely beat it in real life thanks thanks man I'm tired of me come on a hundred of me I mean a hundred of you is a lot of you it would run out of battery but as I haven't got through all of us hey that's

51:35Ethan Nestor:a strategy a hundred of you running in a hundred different directions there's no No way it could kill all of you before its power supply is depleted. All right. So my friends have no faith in me. I think I could take this wrong, but whatever. Yeah. Even for the point, I won't lie to you about that one. Well, you don't, it's not live. It's the truth. So. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything. Even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons. Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years.

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52:46All right, we actually are pretty close to out of time. That ego blow of a 15-minute section there really ate up the less of our time here. Have you seen iRobot, Mark?

52:58Ethan Nestor:Those were squishy robots, and they still were. Will Smith said no chance. No, he beat like plenty of them. He beat them with guns. They beat his ass when it was hand-to-hand combat Kind of I think he I think he hand-to-handed one of them or two barely you think you're Will Smith Mark thinks he's Will Smith all right fine any last minutes Oh, I was gonna say I have a quick one too if you want to do a battle of the quickies

53:25Mark Fischbach:Oh, okay Mike who just did that one doesn't matter go ahead Gotta say, Molly's a luckier woman than even I thought. Apparently having a forgetful husband is the best thing in the world you can have because a guy went to the store, was supposed to pick up some lottery tickets, forgot to get them.

53:40Ethan Nestor:His wife, you know, went to the store, bought the lottery tickets,

53:45Mark Fischbach:won half a million dollars. She wouldn't have won if he'd remembered. So, like, having a forgetful significant other, apparently the best thing in the world. Oh, this wasn't you? No, I don't have... Molly won half a...

53:58Ethan Nestor:She definitely wouldn't tell you if she did. It doesn't say who it was. Did you recently forget to buy her some lottery tickets? You wouldn't remember, I guess, so.

54:07Mark Fischbach:I also don't remember where this took place because I already closed the article.

54:11Ethan Nestor:It's definitely Molly. Yeah. We're rich. Yeah, congratulations, Bob. Melbourne, Australia. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't fucking believe it. He was sitting on an Australian domestic flight, and the flight was delayed for two hours because of a motherfucking snake on the motherfucking plane. I saw a snake on a train. I didn't see the snake on a plane story. There was a Virgin Australia flight from Melbourne to Brisbane, and a snake turned out to be a completely harmless two-foot-long green tree snake. But a snake made its way onto the plane. They had to call a snake catcher To get the snake off the plane Because there were snakes on the plane And it delayed the flight by a couple hours And shouldn't Australians have known It was a harmless snake and just gone Just let it be Who cares

55:04Mark Fischbach:Maybe it was harmless to Australians but lethal to the rest of the world Therefore they still had to worry about it Because everything in Australia wants to kill you Pretty sure green tree snakes are pretty chill I don't think they're going to do very much Samuel L.

55:15Ethan Nestor:Jackson couldn't fucking believe his luck actual snake on actual plane. That's great. Really. Alright, that's gonna do it for this episode. Thank you for your contribution, guys. You made it more competitive than I thought it would be. And way more points than the zero I thought that it would be. What? That's not an insult. I feel like to one of us it will be. I think he just was implying that neither of us is usually very competitive.

55:40Mark Fischbach:He's just better that he can't beat a robot. I can. You just don't think I can. I can take that robot. Maybe like a toaster. We've seen how Mark vs. Render Farm has gone. Yeah, I'm winning. Sometimes. Sometimes. Okay, points. Wade, you got a you right point for something at the beginning. I don't remember what it was, but you were right. Two Spaghetti's really likes food. Emotional Battlefield. Giant Mole. Solo Leveling. Microplastics. Insert Reason. And Molly's a luckier woman than even I thought. Bob. You got a guru point, you bought a Switch too. Code in box rage, Catch-E-O spaghetti? That was very funny when I wrote it down, I don't remember what it was about.

56:28Ethan Nestor:Oh, yeah, it was - Wade was ordering multiple kinds of spaghettis, including a Catch-E-O-E spaghetti. And the other kind, whatever, scent. West arctica, I've never heard of pinching, which I put down as your point for some reason. Hipster Bob Robot Stretcher is actually a robot and there were actual snakes on an actual plane. That is... We can just fight. Then we'll learn if you can beat Robot. That's true. Canonically, that works. Wade, you have nine points. Bob, you have ten points going into the final wheel spin. Google has zero. I have negative one. Take that, Google. Any of us could win, including Google, which means that we have to surrender this podcast to Google.

57:09Ethan Nestor:How many bonus points? I bet it's three yeah there's like an 80 % chance it's okay it's three again look at that look at this history three one three three three two two three three three feel like this wheel's weighted but you know I I don't mind you know it's I just shuffled them too I just literally went in and manually all right whatever hey three could still

57:36Mark Fischbach:Oh yeah, what are you adding? Is robot? Robot point? No, how about mentioned their significant other the most? Oh, who did though? Wait, I think you did. Because Bob said he and Mandy were going to Soda on Monday, so he brought her up for that. Didn't you say you and Molly went to Soda? And then you said Molly's a luckier woman than even I thought towards the end there, so I think you technically have it. Man, I don't like that one. That makes the bar feel pretty low for us. I hope our wives don't watch these.

58:03Ethan Nestor:Oh no. That is Scottish. That is Scottish. Exit. Perform if necessary. Bob, you're first. Ugh, if you could change your fate, would you? Ugh, ugh. That's good, that's good. That's gonna be tough to beat. Ugh, what are you thinking you're doing, laddie?

58:23Mark Fischbach:I know more than you ever will. Ugh. Whoa. I mean, it started off pretty good. I feel like you didn't even need to devolve it like that. I actually gotta give that to you, Wade. I think that was very good.

58:35Ethan Nestor:what the kind of you don't push it all right give us two more scottish accents and we'll be out of here come on

58:48most self-sabotage well that would have been me you and google both each lost points yeah that's true it's a tight match between me and google but i gotta give it to me because i i broke my microphone before this and uh oh and you didn't have your coin with you that's pretty sabotagey and then i've given you multiple ways to screw me over with that handshake so i'm pretty sure for

59:10Mark Fischbach:the season i've well you better hope this doesn't go to the viewers the listeners the host it won't spin number three golf rules golf rules oh hat point for bob okay it was very close to being listeners there. Alright. Bob with one half point. Eeks it out. Ten and a half to ten. Congratulations Bob. You get that half point. Those really, those really make episodes. Those half points coming in there.

59:43Ethan Nestor:They have come up a surprising amount. I thought those would be a not so common occurrence. No, no, but I like them. It makes it spicy. So congratulations Bob. So Bob, a winner's speech. Uh, it feels good to win. You know, this was a fun one. I feel like I probably could have won by more than half a point if I didn't spend so much time telling Mark He couldn't take a robot in a fight. I feel like I really I really rub my own face in the dirt on that one a little bit But you know sometimes you get an idea and you can't let it go whether or not it's a good idea who cares? It's just in there and doesn't matter because I won anyway, which I deserve because I'm the best Congratulations There were a lot of points left on the table during that robot segment like it was 15 minutes straight of point opportunity after point opportunity and no one took it so you know i really gotta say we really both made our made our choices on that one you sure did but you still won so wait thinking back

1:00:35Mark Fischbach:on the 15 minutes of robot that i could have just said one nice thing i don't regret any of it i'll take this l because we were right not to give you any credit there because you would have gotten your ass kicked you would have lost and the viewers and listeners both know it and my integrity means more to me than that point would ever have. I'll take this L sitting down. The thing I disliked most about that was the way you said integrity. You're welcome. Thank you everybody so much for watching and or listening and or the other thing that we said. I hope you enjoyed it. Follow for more. We got episodes twice a week.

1:01:11Do some people not know that? I wonder if there's some people that don't know.

1:01:15Ethan Nestor:There's a lot of people who I think think we post once a month and will be shocked to learn that we in fact post to a week. Yeah, so next year, top 100 most best podcast, hopefully, maybe. So thank you. You're the best listeners and or viewers of any podcast out there. That's inarguable. Got hair in my mouth. That wasn't me trying to. Oh, I thought I was blowing a kiss really awkwardly. But hey, there's no competition for that. So there's no top 100 list for those. So we're all in the same boat of being left out. Thank you. We're going to leave you out of this podcast because it's ending. Podcast out.

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