Fourth of Poo-ly

17:38Mark Fischbach:Big booms. Big booms. But with big booms come big poos which is why corn was close. Today we're talking about toilets! Happy 4th of July!

17:52Of all the titles from the last episode that you could have picked from, why has it got to be toilet trouble or whatever it was?

17:59Mark Fischbach:Let me tell you the one that inspired this. It was shirts off, gloves on. There was a toilet title. There was literally a toilet one. I'm going for shirts off, gloves on, because I didn't write down the toilet title. It was like Toilets in Triumph. It was a good title. wish I'd written it down all right gloves off shirts on shirts on gloves off what was it shirts off gloves on or toilets triumphs either way it's the 4th of July and what we're gonna do is we're gonna design different toilets for different things all of them involve pooping and peeing what else can you do while you're sitting there your hands are usually pretty free so you know what we're gonna design some great toilets so we can multitask this is America is Is that what you think of when you think of America?

18:45Mark Fischbach:Multitasking? I think of a lot of shit.

18:50Ethan Nestor:I can't hold that. I don't think the toilet design needs a lot of refinement. No, no, not the toilet.

18:55Mark Fischbach:The room. Oh, okay. We're making our poo rooms multitaskable for different things. We can't, like, maybe you guys come up with a Swiss army knife design that does a whole bunch. But, like, I'm thinking you have, like, for example, your wood workshop toilet where you can have your saw bench that comes in over top. Like when you put a baby in a high chair and it's got this little table. But for sawing wood while you saw logs.

19:19Ethan Nestor:You mean the baby changing stations in the bathroom? Yeah, but for woodwork. I gotta be honest. I don't know if I'd want to be doing woodwork with my pants down. Because sawdust already gets everywhere. Even if you have a tucked in shirt.

19:33Mark Fischbach:This is America. Quit thinking Ohio and start thinking Florida man. Okay, what would Florida man want in their toilet? Okay. This is the 4th of July. This isn't a day for making good decisions. A sharps container? Sharps.

19:49Ethan Nestor:For performing surgery or is this just after you're done? A sharps container is how you dispose of sharps. It's the kind of container you can safely put needles.

20:00Mark Fischbach:Well, yeah, I'm assuming if you have it in the bathroom, you used it in the bathroom.

20:04Ethan Nestor:Sure. Yeah, well, we're multitasking, are we not? Yeah, we are.

20:08Mark Fischbach:This is America. You said Florida. I like where you're going. I'm just trying to figure out what leads to putting things into the sharps container. What are you doing? Drugs! Okay. It's a welt! Oh, they're gonna put their insulin in in the bathroom for multitasking responsibly to manage their blood glucose level. I don't think so. Minus their blood heroin level, you know what I mean? I don't know. Maybe they're performing surgery while they're pooping. Like, maybe the doctor, like, is like, oh, this eight-hour heart surgery. Guys, move the patient. I've got to keep working. But I had tacos for lunch.

20:39Mark Fischbach:Get him in the baby changing table. What if there was just a hole in the wall The doctor went to poop and they slid the patient In so they could keep going

20:47Ethan Nestor:I forgot the buckles Broken on the strap on this one Nurse you're gonna need to hold him up and make sure he doesn't Flop off onto the floor

20:55Mark Fischbach:While I deuce I like where this is going

20:58Ethan Nestor:Remember left hand sterile right hand wipe Okay let's keep these things straight Don't get them mixed up

21:05Mark Fischbach:Wait would the doctor have another hole in the wall For someone to wipe like scalpel toilet paper I don't know why it only has to be holes that an arm can fit through and not like a window but I love it just holes at different levels you know not glory

21:22Ethan Nestor:holes nothing is automated it's just holes that people can reach through you just have to have a staff of people who help you with your bathroom multitasking alright I get where you're coming from Wade I think we're gonna knock this out of the park America style

21:38Mark Fischbach:we've got the drugs slash surgery toilet set up you know what kind of toilet setup i feel like

21:44Ethan Nestor:is american and we need you spend all day on the fourth of july drinking beers and shoving down hot dogs and steaks and whatever grilling food just like the founding fathers wanted but then when it starts to get dark out right when you got the meat sweats and you really need to be sitting on the toilet it's also time for fireworks so i feel like we need to construct an out like an indoor outdoor lower half bathroom upper half fireworks platform type of deal where you can be on the toilet disposing of your freedom that you ingested throughout the beginning of the day but you can also be entertaining slash terrorizing your neighborhood with delightful fireworks

22:29Mark Fischbach:displays is true would it be extra combustible if you like fart well it's it i think there's sort of

22:35Ethan Nestor:a the it's like a bottom like waist down concealment and i think it's like a negative pressure so the the vent is sucking all of the gases and everything out so like it would be safe plus if you if anything went off in your hand your bottom half is totally safe from damage you're definitely losing some fingers but you're you're way more protected than if you're like crouched over a firework trying to light it and whatever goes off in your hands.

23:00Mark Fischbach:I don't know why when you say enclosed what I picture is in Dragon Ball Z when Frieza is in first form has that little pot he like flies around in. That is definitely his toilet. I'm imagining the toilet but with like Frieza lighting off fireworks while sitting in that pod. That's all Frieza was trying to do when he blew up the planet there. He was just like I'm gonna celebrate. It's 4th of July but Super Saiyan land. Yeah. And then it just blew up. It's all in his vault.

23:23Ethan Nestor:Yeah. No it's definitely. He's definitely sitting. it's definitely a toilet all right i got one so everyone in america knows that you can't wipe after you're done because touching your own butt that's pretty gay we don't want that but you know what can counteract that is if you have power tools involved right so instead of a flusher you have a drill handle a ryobi toilet setup yes a ryobi toilet and instead of a bidet because that's that's even worse that's like french or something and then you have a spin brush with like metal grill cleaning bristles and it extends and then you pull the trigger and you just get so clean and then your power tools are there so you got it's organizing and then you get to use them for a good purpose because i bought a bunch and i never use them

24:17Mark Fischbach:I gave you a point for power toilet straight white guy edition.

24:21Ethan Nestor:I like that. I like the Ryobi themed. It's all just the green everywhere, green and black. You could have the Ryobi speed table set up in front of you as a little workstation slash desk slash worktop bench thing. You know, I realized, though, it has to be what what power tool brands blue cobalt cobalt, right? So it has to be cobalt because you get the blue cobalt, the white porcelain and the red after you use the spin brush. so you got red white and blue the red splatters off the spin brush brushing it's not wiping it's brushing it's a red white and blue can't be more patriotic than that is there any kind of like i

24:59Mark Fischbach:i don't know the alternative to toothpaste that i'm trying to think of butt paste you talking butt paste you talking butt paste white paste is there some butt paste that you use on the brush

25:09Ethan Nestor:lube no lube that's oh sorry sorry uh lubricant wd-40 like like garage door spring lubricant you know like like uh like some like some aerosolized powdered graphite lubricant oh grease you talk about grease you got grease up those gears now i got i got another one already i'm ready to go oh my god all right i'm falling behind yeah you got your your uh truck toilet edition your mega thrown so when you're you're you're not only able to go to work it's a toilet but then it's got an extended rolling coal button so that when you flush it not only shoots uh exhaust out the top it shoots your your patriotic shit out the back and blast that prius behind you they call that roll and bowl because you eject the contents of your bowl patriotically exactly this is your trucker toilet your your 18 wheeler it was like the squid power up for mario kart spun out and everything all right this is more of a this is more of a civil engineering feat why are we rolling dice what's happening nothing go on what were you saying all right this is more of a this is like more of a group thing but what is more american than sports games am i right could be football could be baseball could be this could apply to all all stadiums where you might see any sort of sports indoor or outdoor why aren't stadium seats just toilets like the romans of old like the the ancient greek bath house everything was cool and you could sit next to your bro while you talked out some philosophy or watched a little sporting event maybe a little wrestling why are because in the stadium one of the biggest problems is you like oh it's between innings oh it's it's halftime oh got to go to the bat oh there's a line at the bathroom because everyone's trying to use the bathroom all at once get rid of those bathroom spaces turn that into another way to get beer or spend money on the you know team stuff and just make every seat a bathroom and then the nicer seats could maybe like maybe there's tiers like some of them are more like port-a-johns they're just big bleachers over a big pit so you you know there's a stench there but then the nicer seats are like water like nor you know like uh what's that called plumbed plumbed they're plumbed you ever use a plumb toilet plumbed with water you know that japanese restaurant thing where they let noodles flow down the river and you grab your noodles out of there but then the nice the nice toilet like down down you know behind home plate is like you You got massaging seats.

27:55Mark Fischbach:Oh, if I was just massaging toilet, just the toilet's like, why isn't there a massaging toilet? That's also a great idea.

28:00Ethan Nestor:Yeah, it could help. It could help, you know, if you ever get, if you eat too many steaks and you get stopped up, you get a little massage toilet action and it'll, you know, then you can eat more steaks. Oh, you have a toilet that has a grill top on the back so you can sit the correct way, which is facing the wall, right? Everyone knows this. You have your tabletop to grill your steak. so as soon as you're empty, you start pounding it back in. I like this. Nothing more American than that.

28:27Mark Fischbach:Yeah. I like the grill toilet. We can explore that more in one second, but I gotta ask the stadium toilet, how much of a gamble does that make the wave going off?

28:36Ethan Nestor:You do what you gotta do. If you can't hold it in just to do the wave for a quick 10 seconds, then probably you should be showed out anyway. It's probably you're too drunk.

28:47Mark Fischbach:I'm assuming like what if you're just mid-long and people are like, let's do the wave. and it's like what do I do you clench

28:53Ethan Nestor:and you grip it and then you just give it the quick like and then make sure you hang on to that bad boy mother

28:58Mark Fischbach:why does that man have a tail wait why am I yeah mother my first baseball game what is going on my bad my bad uh this is disgusting it sure is again again I'm I'm always shocked how many episodes we've done that are just talking about poop the whole time what do you mean shirts off uh toilets on what the fuck is

29:23Ethan Nestor:this one called something like that i don't know man it's your episode i'm just participating

29:28Mark Fischbach:grill toilet sounds very unsanitary do we all concede that facing the wall is the correct way to i feel like we just let that one go oh i didn't even think we were going to talk about that i

29:38Ethan Nestor:thought that was presumed how do you go what you look out you sit forward on the toilet like a nerd I didn't know you were supposed to sit I don't respect that I have no respect for that whatsoever Well you should, I'm the host That's horrendous Nah, I don't have respect for that either Okay, what if we don't need a toilet at all? What if the toilet is with us? You know how houses have those Some have the holes in the wall that lead to a central vacuum, right? Modify it, central Central, central toilet Central toilet

30:12Mark Fischbach:so you're always wherever room you're in you just grab the hose oh no i'm saved okay i missed the this is like central air but central toilet no have you ever seen a central vacuum it's like

30:23Ethan Nestor:there in each room there's like a hole you just plug in a vacuum and it'll vacuum i love that then you just need like a special you need like a special kind of boxers to where the central toilet line has a water in feature and then a water out so it like just slosh it all around in there yeah but we can't call it a bidet americans no no no no no yeah it's a water park nothing more american than that i needs to have the word uh a jet in it and a number of some sort like the the the underjet 9500 or something right like the oil change 2000 the oil changer we have truck truck truck never mind truck truck leave it to us wade leave leave leave it to us

31:08Mark Fischbach:yeah my bad i tried to make a comment this isn't my i'm the host you guys got the you guys got the

31:13Ethan Nestor:funny i got the stupid i'm gonna circle back we've kind of covered this but this is a different approach to it beer get it getting more beer can be an inconvenience you have to find the cooler you have to find a keg have someone fill it up or whatever like it can be an inconvenience right what you do is start it off start off the party start off the the festivities getting yourself absolutely topped up on liquid. So your body is almost more beer than anything else. Then you put on my very specially designed mobile cup, which has a drain, which loops around like a camelback up onto a strap that holds it right up on your shoulder.

31:53Ethan Nestor:And then once you're topped up on beer, you just keep that bad boy recycling. You don't have to find a refill. You have a refill and you fill it, but you fill it back up yourself. You don't make a mess. You don't have to worry about like leaking or getting caught by surprise when you run to a bathroom and you don't ever need to get a refill.

32:11Mark Fischbach:This is like a displacement thing where the amount of stuff you produce determines how much you get back. It's just like recycling, you know, it's the Fremen still suit that they had. Yeah. Oh, it becomes the beer.

32:24Ethan Nestor:I was thinking, oh, it ferments on the way back. You're drinking your own piss. Let's be clear. You're drinking your own piss. It's just a hose that puts your own piss back up into your own mouth. But you drink, you start by drinking so much beer that your piss is basically just beer. It's just beer, beer, beer. And if you ever get low, maybe find a refill or whatever.

32:44Mark Fischbach:So you have a sensor that warns you if your blood alcohol level gets too low, not too high. It's like, this is going to taste bad. This is going to taste bad.

32:53Ethan Nestor:It's simple. And it's really more of a device that you wear around and carry. But I would say that qualifies as a toilet. It's a number one's only solution

33:03Mark Fischbach:I wasn't thinking of portability I was just thinking of a static toilet But portable moving toilet beer It's like a beer hat

33:11Ethan Nestor:But it's a beer cup Which is very manly There's nothing more American Than crypto And there's nothing more unique Than your own poop You You Take some picture of it And it creates an NFT and it puts it on the blockchain. Forever yours. And you can trade it with other people, but only while they're on the toilet. Dude, are you in poop globs yet? How many poop globs do you have? Oh, dude, I have so many poop globs.

33:42Mark Fischbach:Wait, what's a crip poo toilet or a rug pool? What would the rug pool be called if it's a toilet? Rug poo? Rug poo? Oh, God, what is this episode? What have we become? Is this funny? This is why I don't win very often.

34:00Mark Fischbach:I come up with my ear infections. I read the first thing I wrote down on my document. I'm like, oh, toilets. Let's do it. We're going to sneak into his house and just either delete that document or put in other ideas. Like, I really wonder what this looks like. If it's just one word on a Word document.

34:17Ethan Nestor:Is it just a madman's notes about a conspiracy to end the world?

34:21Mark Fischbach:Okay, I will read you my list. Spoiler alert here. I'll read you my list. Just so you know.

34:26Ethan Nestor:I like how you're so confident this isn't going to spoil anything.

34:28Mark Fischbach:I've got worst jobs to bring your kid to work to, aliens update, moist, don't know, didn't listen to the rest of what Bob said, mind control, pasta, dumpster dads, shirts off, gloves on, toilets? Question mark.

34:46Ethan Nestor:So you read shirts off, gloves on, which was at the very bottom of your list and got to toilets for the 4th of July.

34:54Mark Fischbach:Yeah, it was the first one I saw. It was the most eye level one

34:58Ethan Nestor:Oh I see I see What is more American Than voting We have a problem in this country Some people think they don't need to vote Some people think it doesn't matter It does matter you need to make sure your vote is cast And what better way to get People to show up to the polls Than to convert all Voting booths into Voting bathrooms It's for some reason not a national holiday it's really hard to get off work it's a what it's you know it's a lot of time to get over to your polling station what if there's a bathroom there it's a justifiable break i just need to hit the i just need to hit the head don't worry i'll be back to work shortly i just need to go drain the old sea lion that's the thing those are called right i was following you okay all right okay i just need to go drain the old sea lion And while you're doing it, make sure you cast those votes Because there are elections even in years when we're not voting for a president And I feel like people don't pay attention to those enough But they're out there This would up the total polls Turn out, this would make voting It's multitasking, very American You could integrate other of our designs into this So that there's more, maybe you put grill toilets in the voting booths So you can have a steak and a shit and a vote I don't know it's versions there's ways Maybe it's regional maybe you know It depends depends what your people like you have different Kinds I thought you said boating at First voting very American

36:30Mark Fischbach:Boating not American at all

36:32Ethan Nestor:Pretty sure boats were invented By Spanish I'm pretty

36:36Mark Fischbach:Sure Americans invented that's how they got over Here on the the playground That was the first

36:44Ethan Nestor:The nurse's office the playground And the cafeteria Christopher for Columbus's three ships? Is that what we're talking about?

36:51Mark Fischbach:Yeah, whenever he left America, was founded Europe and came back, it was like, yeah, fuck that place. Yeah, what was the name of that rock, Wade? I can't remember. What was it? Oh, Playground Stone. Playground what? Playground Stone. Playground Stone?

37:06Ethan Nestor:It's crazy that the rock was named the same thing as one of his boats.

37:09Mark Fischbach:Came over on the April flower because it was the superior month. Oh, okay. So he does know the answer. Of course, I know about the Mayflower and Plymouth Prowler.

37:452026 through October 4th, 2026 exclusions apply for licenses. See home Depot.com slash license numbers. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything. Even our music that hits on named after the color of lemons, not a coincidence. Big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now 7up is fighting back With their new lime lemon soda Now lime comes first 7up Flip the sip So We all know there's nothing more American Than guns And what better way to Combine the two By having a gun You wanna shit On a toilet No it's a gun

38:40Mark Fischbach:it wasn't big fucking good wait hold on i like this idea your shit loads the gun and when you flush it's the trigger to fire yep that's it now you got it that's you better you better

38:54Ethan Nestor:fucking get out of the way when you flush that bad boy you don't want to accidentally flush it while you're sitting on it oh man you know those old pole chain toilets well we modified one of them the top's filled with gunpowder and you just it's like a it's like a cannon you stand up and you like sighted and you're like fire just the wall is still it's just a normal bathroom the wall just explodes with your own shit everywhere it's for people who live off the grid very american but they don't have a septic system right they're not tied to the sewers so they aim at the sewage treatment plant and they fire it over the hills.

39:37Mark Fischbach:We call them sovereign shittisons.

39:41Mark Fischbach:That's the one. I do hate my ideas every now and then, you know. Every now and then. That's a good instinct.

39:50Ethan Nestor:Look at him rolling his dice over there. Just stalling rolling the dice. Nothing's coming. Every time he rolls a dice, he's like, God, I hope I think of what this means by the end of the episode.

39:59Mark Fischbach:Oh, God. All right. Number. I've got it written here. I've got each roll marked.

40:05Ethan Nestor:What is more American than conspiracy theories? Oh. This is, I will say, this is a little bit piggybacking off of Mark's idea, but this is a particular kind of canon-type toilet that you can use to counteract one of the biggest conspiracies in our country, which, of course, is contrails. airplanes are leaving these trails doesn't physics can't possibly describe why they exist i dare any physicists to convince me which i will never believe anything they say anyway by default that that it's anything other than chemicals being put into the air or uh weather manipulation anyway every time you take a shit you load this cannon and the cannon is just poison ready aimed up at the sky and you wait until you see one of those planes leaving those trails over your sovereign citizen homestead it locks onto the airplane and and your shit coats the plane maybe takes it out of the sky maybe just turns off the weather manipulation you know the chemical dispersion system whatever just just foil those plots just don't let them get away with it what could be more american than fighting for your rights against the man against them weather controllers fourth of poo lie episode title i thought it was shirts off gloves on it makes so much sense it was but come on fourth of poo lies pretty good all right what's more all right what's more american than supporting our troops you know where every time you go to the bathroom it'll box it up along with an american flag i thought it would be like war bonds or something nope it'll mail it straight to a soldier on the front lines so that when they open they get a little smell of home uh-huh what um what's more american than owing taxes to your government but having to guess how much they are this toilet is like it's almost like a game show which is another hyper american thing every time you use it there's a tax there's a tax you gotta tax it you gotta tax the people we are represented so we are taxed that's the bargain we struck okay hold on tur poo tax or turd bow tax probably turd bow tax i had to pick uh anyway every time you use it you are taxed an amount there's we call it the dump tax which is confusing because there's also the dump tax for when you take things to the dump or the garbage dump but this is the other kind of dump it's all part of the system it's meant to be as confusing as possible because then you have to use turd bow tax to help you file your toilet taxes uh but it's just a random amount and you have no idea it's just some percentage of some number both of which are made up then once a year they're like oh you better pay us and you're like oh wait how much and they're like you better pay it you better hurry up you want to get your refund don't you no no i don't want a refund we could we could direct deposit it right up inside you it's like a guy drives by with a truck and a hose get right back i thought at first you were gonna say you had to predict how much you were gonna poop and then divvy it off poop in different buckets and if you get it wrong and go straight to jail.

43:36Wait, we don't have any other prompt here,

43:38Mark Fischbach:any other kind of... Yeah, this is what you want? This is it. You guys are doing great. If you have something else you want to add, I mean... What's more American than denying Puerto Rico its statehood? We, every time you go to the toilet... Go on. Every time you go to the toilet, takes away a roll of toilet paper from Puerto Rico, puts it right in your bathroom instantaneously. also it steals half a roll from washington dc wow all right that'll be an f-u-p-r point because i'm running out of space so just know that f-u-p-r is fuck you puerto rico oh good okay good excellent do people i i want to say this very clearly this because there's a lot of people that don't understand that people from puerto rico are american citizens but they're a star territory

44:26Ethan Nestor:which means they don't get representation in the federal government but they are subject to it And they're taxed. Interesting. Interesting how that all plays out. Good thing there's nothing about taxation without representation.

44:39Mark Fischbach:No, that doesn't sound familiar. That doesn't sound right. I don't know. Sounds stupid. We're getting awfully treasonous here. Sorry. This is a pro-America episode. It's our 4th of July. Poo lie. Fuck!

44:51Ethan Nestor:What is more American than literally shitting on Ohio? Everybody knows Ohio is a joke state. Our neighbors all know it, but people on the West Coast know it. People in the South know it. Everybody knows Ohio is the joke. So this toilet just funnels all your shit. All your solid waste is separated from your liquid waste. Just the shit funneled into one massive transcontinental pipeline and consolidated into a thing that just rains all the shit down on Ohio. Nothing could be more American than shitting on Ohio.

45:28Mark Fischbach:Very fertile, helps the farming a lot Probably That's where the corn comes from I got one more roll And I think I'm calling this one What's more American than unfulfilled promises This toilet, it has so many features It'll wipe your ass for you It'll hold your money It'll do your taxes It'll balance your checkbook It'll do all of this But then when it gets to your house It doesn't do any of that Doesn't even flush I missed a good portion of that because I was writing and then it gerrymanders the edge of your bathroom into your living room

46:06I got nothing else I'm fucking tapped out on

46:10Mark Fischbach:that's good that's good I've written down a lot of points here there's a lot written here

46:16Ethan Nestor:okay I feel like I hope I don't win this one but also I hope it ends

46:23Mark Fischbach:just wait till you see how this one ends I've been rolling some dice And they do come into play. Oh, we know. We know they do.

46:31Ethan Nestor:It's clear how they do and will and already am have our mark.

46:35Mark Fischbach:You have points for mocking mama plier. Happy early. And by the time this airs belated birthday, get her book sharps and drugs, 18 wheeler power toilet, straight white guy edition, grill toilet, face the wall, central toilet. cry poo currency poo to a soldier F you Puerto Rico germander oh gerrymandering and gun toilet not my grandma's funeral Bob you got points for mocking hot and burrell rolling bowl fireworks massage tad wiener no stadium stadiums tad wieners got it beer refill voting bathroom turd bow tax oh i o conspiracies chemtrails i think i read all of them uh mama player got three idk points we felt like mark got a lot of points for almost everything he said there i rolled this dice nine times at either awkward moments moments where you guys mentioned a number or whatever i felt like rolling those are my criteria okay i like those rules a number of those rolls were odd a number of those rolls are even you guys get to pick whether you add the odds or the evens not the totals but just the number of times i rolled either to your point total bob odds you would like odds yeah stick with odds odds can i also pick odds yeah you can that would be the strategy right no i'm not gonna do that i won't do that let's i'll do evens i'll do evens

48:20Ethan Nestor:what's more american than copying your friend's homework and getting an a plus if you wanted odds

48:27Mark Fischbach:we could talk i just i'll take evens i'm going with fate that's probably the wise choice um for wheels what i'm adding is the one two counterclockwise from this oh interesting oh okay

48:43Ethan Nestor:i see so we have to do the how many wheels first what are the odds we get three again huh That'd be impressive. That's probably gonna happen, right? Ah? Oh, almost. Two's good. Two's pretty good. Two's not bad.

49:00Mark Fischbach:Okay. Two's good. I'll tell you before we roll what ends up popping up. If it ends up being a tie, it'll be really funny because right now I rolled one of the numbers seven times and the other only two which drastically could have changed the score. I think I know it was odd. So, uh, I'm glad you guys picked different ones. Alright well we got two wheel spins here

49:21Ethan Nestor:Let's see what we get Come on eat the most

49:29Mark Fischbach:Dropped the most items Is that me from dropping my dice? That was intentional I was throwing the dice I've been fidgeting with this the whole time

49:36Ethan Nestor:And I've dropped it several times I've dropped These cheeses down my gullet Alright Bob you get that Alright

49:48Ethan Nestor:all right all right one more spin

49:57best comeback i guess it's whoever picked the number that

50:02Mark Fischbach:the right one yeah is this based purely on points or i don't remember what best comeback was put on here for it's like whoever had i guess the best like second half performance or something like

50:14Ethan Nestor:that is that what it is or like uh or like snappy snappy comebacks yeah i don't know i can't think

50:19Mark Fischbach:of one this might be a re-spin you're you're allowed to call that this was pretty back and forth i would say re-spin because i don't know how i would assign that re-spin

50:33Ethan Nestor:least points all right well wade is the only one who knows that one i don't know where this is

50:39Mark Fischbach:gonna land up my dice rolls were as follows eight 19 12 2 11 6 2 8 12 uh-oh are we supposed to remember these there were seven evens and two odds oh okay i was not paying attention i totally forgot went right over my head mark ended up going with evens uh-oh which gave him a total of 24 points when added on. Holy shit. Bob went with odds, but got the two bonus points, which gave him a total of 18 at the end. Mark, you win by six. Holy shit. God. Goddamn. You should have picked demons, man. I will. Fuck.

51:23Ethan Nestor:Yeah.

51:23Mark Fischbach:If you, if you had accepted when Bob offered to swap, he would have had the win. I know. I know, man. And only by one, too. That's really great. Damn. Well, I don't know if he would have. Yeah, I think he still would have won. Yeah. If I would have been the lowest point, it would have been a tie. It would have been interesting. I think you were up by two or three points because there were a couple times where you like gave off two or three in a row before Bob went again. Like you just spattered some ideas in there. Quantity over quality. That's what I always say. It's easier for quantity when I do points.

51:56Mark Fischbach:Well, I hope you have some good ideas, Mark, because winner's speech. I'm going to get the perfected crime. I'll get it. The perfect duress crime, baby. Nothing more American than winning, am I right? So I gotta say, I feel very American. Go me go. I gotta go on the toilet after this. Well said. Thank you. I put out all my creativity in the episode. I don't know what else you want from me. This was definitely one that people will remember as my best for years to come. Bob, second placer speech.

52:28Ethan Nestor:Today's loser speech is brought to you by Venmo. So you've probably heard of Venmo, but did you know that Venmo is for more than paying your friends back? With the Venmo debit card, you can spend your balance in so many ways. You can Venmo this, Venmo that, and everything. Sadly for me, I cannot Venmo my way out of losing today's episode. I had a great time in this episode. I performed very well. Mark put up a good fight, but I really outclassed him. and it feels great to come out on top. Can't wait to host the next one. It's been good being a competitor. It's going to be even better being the host.

53:06Ethan Nestor:I'm going to be the best host you've ever seen. So get ready for that. Everyone stay excited. Thank you. I deserve this. Once again, today's loser speech was brought to you by Venmo. Whatever your thing is, you can pay for it with the Venmo debit card. Visit Venmo.me slash debit to learn more. That's V-E-N-M-O dot M-E slash D-E-B-I-T. Venmo purchase restrictions apply. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. Card may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted.

53:38Mark Fischbach:Happy everyone. Thank you all for watching and or listening. If you want more of us for whatever reason, you can find Mark our winner at Markiplier. Bob, who's also a winner at my skirm. Me, definitely a loser for having hosted this minion 7-7 or lord minion 7-7-7 look forward to mama pliers book coming sometime to a store somewhere near you or online uh merch sometime probably maybe now who knows until then podcast ouch let's have a left-handed salute my right hand was busy i will not go further into the Nothing more American than that.

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