Hot Takes, Cold Truths

26:13Mark Fischbach:I called it Did I call it? I called it You did after I gave you heads You called heads Alright Mark you get to go first Hot take or cold truth About the moon landing It's cold on the moon

26:31It's true You know That's the truth It was cold I listen to the rules

26:41Mark Fischbach:I play by the rules Thank you for sharing that cold truth Bob do you have a hot take Or a cold truth on the moon landing Interesting fact about The moon because The surface of the moon Has no atmosphere The dirt and particles That's all settled onto it Doesn't mechanically Rub or move or get Blown around by wind or anything So there is no or there's minimal erosion. So the particulate on the moon is so destructive. They actually had to design the spacesuits and everything specially to be as rip resistant as possible. And even though they were, I mean, they're on the moon as much as they could be when they landed and they were doing walks and stuff.

27:27But the suits that they brought back from being out on the moon, like the tread is worn off the shoes. The suits are so totally fucked. they like barely survived existing because the it's like sand if i don't even know how to explain it but it's just like it's just like really bad sand you know like really scratchy uh but it just like tears everything up and it's a really particular it's also deep uh i don't know if you've ever seen the moon lander in person but those big sticks that they have that go down they had like really long like i want to say like four or five foot long uh rods that like went down into the surface of the moon as like anchors because it's all sort of loosely packed dust it's fascinating the surface of the moon and the part in the nature of the particulates it's

28:16Mark Fischbach:fascinating i hadn't heard about those spacesuits wearing down faster that's kind of cool it was a serious problem and they had to they had to really work on i believe now that's probably made up kevlar maybe was developed or some sort of ripstop material was developed because they needed something that would survive how abrasive the dust on the moon is? Pretty much everything like that stems from the space age kind of needing these materials otherwise. Oh, that reminds me of our, oh God, what was that? The ginger dead man. All right. You both went cold. Interesting. Bob, you'll be first on this one.

28:50Mark Fischbach:Tell me about the DMV Department of Motor Vehicle. Oh, I know about the DMV. It's called different things, different places, right? It's the BMV Bureau. In Ohio, it's the BMV. In California, it's the DMV. The thing about the DMV is they don't actually have any systems at all. They have fake computers. They have fake cameras. They have fake everything. You could walk in there and they could just hand you your ID in two seconds and they don't give a shit. The test you take, nobody checks that. The eye exams they make you take, it's just a bit. Have you seen those machines? It's a joke to make you look stupid.

29:30It's a method of control that the government uses to make sure everyone remembers that they have to stand in line and pay the fee and get the little ticket that says your car is allowed to exist. It's all bullshit. They could mail it to you, but they want you to stand in line.

29:50Mark Fischbach:Let me throw in your favor here. I worked with eyes for a long time and checked vision, used application, all that stuff. When you see how shitty the machines are at a place like the DMV or BMV that check your vision, they seem like ancient, archaic machines that are barely able to determine anything. And if you fail that, you definitely shouldn't have a license. But I feel like the standard for having a license should even be higher than what those machines give. because it's like the bare minimum vision. It's like, can you see flashing lights in your eye? Yeah. Great. Give him a license. He's good.

30:26Mark Fischbach:It's like, maybe a little bit higher. Anyway, sorry, Bob. Didn't mean to cut you off, but. It's because it's bullshit. It's because it's nothing. It's because it's a conspiracy, man. They don't check anything. They could just hand you your ID and let you log out the door or just mail it directly to your house like a civilized society would do. But no, it's meant to be torturous and controlling and to hold you down. I have the spiciest thing. We should and should have set an age where you can no longer drive. I'm not even saying there should be a test. No test. If you're over 60, you can't drive anymore.

31:00And here's why. Because if that were the case, and it's like written in, it's an amendment, right? Just the no driving for oldies amendment. The old people will vote for better public transit. year after year after year because they'll be like i can't drive it and bust it but i i get it i understand why so we better have trains god damn it and buses and so they'll vote over and over again the founding fathers should have realized that cars were going to be invented put it into the constitution so that it could have been a thing because obviously and then we would have trains because the old people vote way more than anybody else and it would have been passed by all the can they only care about that because they're like i can't get to the store i can't get to my the bingo match the whatever old people do i don't know you know the competitive bingo match yeah exactly yeah or keno or whatever it is they would have voted so i say we let's start now they won't even remember we did it we'll just tell them all the old people it was always this way and they'll be like oh i should have voted for that and then they will and then we'll have trains anything for trains anything to get trains i think we can all agree that if you know some people feel like they're being discriminated against this is a slippery slope

32:27Mark Fischbach:nothing you don't agree it's spicy you're right that's getting hotter by the word am i right oh subreddit how hot is it for mark right now look i'm just saying age is a number and that number's important. What is the age? I think you might have picked a little bit of a low age there, but this isn't my take. So no, no, no. I want many years of voting. I know that they can do it, but if we go too high, then they're going to be like, well, some people will be like, but if we go low enough, it's just like, hey, this is just what it is. You only get 40 years of driving. Make the most of it. That's not even retirement age though.

33:04Is it retirement age going to be like 80 and 83 and then in the next election no you gotta get to work still at that point so you really need the bus well shouldn't we shrink it from both ends then that'll really get the youth vote out there raise the driving age to like 25 30 or just make it really unbearable to drive at

33:26Mark Fischbach:that age like you have a camera watching you to make sure you're not on your phone you have to have a person in the car with you till you're like 20 to make it really like uncomfortable i thought I probably meant like spikes in the sea. The gas pedal has a face. I thought of that. Flame on it. It burns your toes. Spikes on your steering wheel that make sure your hands bleed. If enough blood doesn't get absorbed, they know you're driving with one hand. And they measure your blood alcohol level at the same time. Oh, this is pretty spicy takes. All right. DMV is all fake, or we need to take away everyone's license.

33:55Mark Fischbach:Unless you're specifically like 35. Our age. How conspicuous. I feel like I said some other things. Real spicy, Mark. discriminate against as many as possible. Markiplier. You can quote him on that about me. You can quote me on him. Hot takes or cold truths on the battle between what's better, cats or dogs? All right. So this is going to be a thing because I read an article. Go on. I read something, you know, about how about how cats have a disease that infects people who have cats to make them want cats more. And this is the most bullshit conjecture I might be. I asked to mouth right for misinformation, but I'm going for it.

34:45There is a disease that cats will poop out and you will breathe in and that will be in your brain forever. That will make you want cats and also cause other issues, but mostly make you want cats. I'm saying that might be where the the whole crazy cat lady or crazy cat guy comes into play. It's cats that have been trying to mind control us this entire time. And I won't be fooled. Chica wouldn't do that to me. I would do anything for her, but that's because I love her and I'm not mind controlled. I would just die and or kill for her.

35:18Mark Fischbach:That reminds me of the Florida lady who tried to smuggle cats onto a plane inside of her bra. Turtles. No, titty cats. Tittles. Here, tittles. Here, tittles. I can't drive, but I can carry you. Wait, cat disease brain thing. Yep, that'll do it. Toxoplasmosis. And that makes you want more cats? Yeah. Makes sense, if you think about it. I don't know whether to mark that down as a hot take or a cold truth. Could be both. Man, that's a hot, cold take truth. Whatever you write it down as is what you believe. All right, Bob. Mm-hmm. I have a real bombshell for you. They both suck. All of them are bad because of one reason and one reason alone.

36:12They're all mortal. If cats and dogs lived longer than people, this really wouldn't be a problem. I would rather have dogs, but this is basically a problem with all of them. They get old way faster than us. They get diseases. They get sick. They need things. And then they leave you. And it's hard to imagine a thing that is more painful and life-ruining and disruptive to my entire existence than when Lexi leaves. And it's going to happen. Unless I die tragically in the near future. That's just how it goes. It's a sad truth, and it sucks. It makes me angry.

36:57Mark Fischbach:Let's get the family together holding the grenade. We go out as one. Oh, well, I don't know about that man. You said you'd do anything for Chica. You're taking those words back now, aren't we? No, I said or. I said I would. Oh, no, I did say and or. Okay, you're right. Yeah, okay. You got a grenade? I'll ship it to you. That's my hot take. No one is better than anyone because they all do the same bullshit. Die. Die. Cats get to do it at least nine times though, right? That didn't feel as morbid inside my head as it did when I started to say it, but that was really not proud of that. That was a corpse cold take.

37:31Boy, I feel like that was hot. Your temperature differential, I'm still not sure.

37:37Mark Fischbach:I need a new thermometer. It was a joke because some of them dying. It was a hilarious joke that no one, even me, laughed at. Everyone felt how funny it was. You need to laugh outside to know how funny something is. You know, if you think about licking something funny, you'll be able to know how that joke tastes. Oh, here we go. This one's on brand for us to talk about. Bob, you can delete it off. AI art. Hot takes about AI art. Or cold truths. No, hot takes. Okay. My hot takes are just on point today. Everyone really likes the hot takes I've been bringing to the table. I can tell. I think AI art is peak.

38:15It is better than humanity could ever hope to be And it's only at 20 % of its final form Everyone makes jokes about how sloppy it is And you're right, there are tons of issues And it's already surpassed anything we could hope to do Da Vinci, Van Gogh Those other painters whose names I know but aren't worth mentioning Nobody's compared to the majesty that is AI art It's all I look at I don't even want to see reality anymore I just look at AI art. Why would you need anything else?

38:49Mark Fischbach:Van Gogh is famous for doing art with only one ear AI does it with none ears the fewer body parts the better the art That's always been true. The fewer the part the greater the art. Can I get a point for you saying that? It was about my thing if anyone gets a point I should I just thought I'd ask no one else was asking I thought it was up in the air. I just went for it, you know Yeah, I can't get hurt a guy for asking. I'll give it to Bob for not boldness. Okay. It does hurt me for asking Okay, that's fine. Whatever. Heard a fair amount for asking. Go figure. Yeah, I sure did. Yeah. Okay. All right.

39:20Anyway, cold truth. Here's the thing about AI art that I want, I hope is encouraging for artists, but maybe not. If you are trying AI art and you're making it, whatever you want to call it, you're making it or not, you'll get bored of it because you don't actually like making art. And I'm talking to like the AI art bros out there. the reason people make art in general of many different forms is because it's a journey and i can't believe that people don't realize people think know about the whole the phrase like it's not the destination it's a journey they've heard it all their life and they never believed it but you would believe it if you are on that journey if you're a person that draws or you're a person that does art you do art because it's your passion to do art or you feel at least the spark of passion to do it.

40:12There are people that get excited about being able to quote, make art with AI, and that's an infatuation and they'll get bored of it and they'll stop because they won't find it to be purposeful in their life because they didn't find it purposeful before. It's not going to make someone so much happier to make it just because you can prompt it and crank it out. They do right now because it's exciting and new and it's getting better with each iteration, but the betterness is already slowing down. And so the excitement's going to fall out and they'll realize it like, well, I guess there really isn't any value in my life for making this stuff.

40:48And they'll fall out of it. Just like everyone who has tried art and didn't pursue it the rest of their life. It's kind of a simple thing. So I think that's just something that we all have to understand. It still has to be used by people and the people that don't actually like making art aren't going to use it. So maybe there's exceptions, obviously, for everything, but it's not going to replace the number of artists because those artists will still enjoy making art even if ai art is able to be made and the people that are proposing proposing like ah this is so much better than all those stupid artists out there they're not artists before they're not going to be artists after because they don't like making art and so that's the that's the kind of cold reality for people it's still just a tool and uh you know some people are going to like make it the tool and yeah i'm not saying it's not gonna get rid of jobs that's that's also the other problem because the company's a different thing replace yes that's the thing this is about art as a passion and art as an art form you know making it is important to the human condition and there's plenty of people that do it for not money already so i don't think it's going to stop people from doing it because it's about the journey that could be a hot take or a cold truth I think it's a cold truth.

41:58I missed my mouth. Your nut exclamation point didn't land. I bet Wade's writing a point for me missing the peanut in my mouth and not for what I said. 100%. That is true right now.

42:12Mark Fischbach:You got a nut missed point. All the words I said, anything for that? There might be. There might be. There might be. Not now. Maybe I already wrote that one down. Did you? I did. You got a need to love art point. Okay. You happy now? Am I happy? You can write that down after I should give a Bob a point for just being content not questioning my points He was actually shaking his head that you didn't write it down the whole time. Well, fuck you both. All right, Mark Here's your prompt. Toilet paper Over under what clearly over if it's the other way it rubs against the wall I don't want that the only way it gets away from the wall is if it's over It's not even like a preference of which one's easier to pull.

42:55I mean some people have rolls that are you know offset or freestanding Most of the time it's up against a wall because that's a convenient way to mount it if it's under It's gonna be on the wall, and I know that it's not that dirty, but it's next to a toy It's I'd rather just be floating in the air cuz I don't want to rub the wall my ass on the wall I don't want to rub the wall on my ass

43:16Mark Fischbach:over no micro paint sticks no micro what it's like plastics but paint no paint sticks what are we painting what is he talking about bob what's he talking about no i'm just if the toilet paper rubbed the wall little micro bits of paint would be on the toilet paper that you'd be putting in your ass micro paint flex all right anyway bob cold truth about toilet paper this is going to be a cold truth about a lot more things than just toilet paper just like the debate about whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich just like the debate about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza just like all of these things that everyone brings up and gets all heated about and has all these hot takes on just couldn't fucking matter less the reason that it's a debate is because it's the toilet paper thing is so inconsequential that if you sit down even in your own home somehow and you notice like oh the toilet paper is on the wrong way for how i would like it to be.

44:11Do you change it? No, you don't. You just use it. And you think to yourself, oh, who put this toilet paper on wrong? And then you just use it. And then you just leave. It's so inconsequential that you don't even fix the thing that you claim to be so angry about and have such strong opinions about. Does a hot dog taste different if it's a sandwich? No, no, it doesn't. It tastes like a hot dog. Doesn't really matter at all. Why were you raising your hand, Mark? I was gonna say I changed the direction of toilet paper if I can

44:44Mark Fischbach:I also changed the direction when it's wrong I don't believe you I don't believe you I think I've done it in your own house, actually I believe I've done it in your bathroom In my house? We don't have any sociopaths here, so it's always put on over But Maybe not, but I've definitely done it more than many times I think Molly doesn't care and she puts it on one way or another and I'm like, how do you how could you? It's like you don't even know who you're living with sometimes. But I always flip it the correct way whenever I see it the wrong way. Anywhere, anytime. New topic, Wade. Hot take, cold truth.

45:19Mark Fischbach:Your wife. Love her to death. Perfect human being. Damn cold truth there. Except when it comes to the toilet paper. A monster with the TP sheets. Despite you OCD douchebags who are undercutting my point just in an effort to To win the game Instead of being real about shit right now Doesn't matter Wait I'm the host I'm not trying to win anything Doesn't matter Bob you get to keep the Floor Hot takes cold truths The Loch Ness monster I just like the Loch Ness monster But I don't know if I have any good cold truths About Nessie Hot take Nessie is actually just a very small Ankylosaurus No, not that one.

46:06Bronchiosaurus? Brontosaurus? Brontosaurus. A dinosaur that happened to just survive for millions of years for no apparent reason that no one noticed. And it's not a monster, just a dinosaur. And everyone should love and respect Nessie because she's the best. I don't know if that's a hot take or a whole truth. Probably the truth. I have a hot take. Loch Ness monster, Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, all the mythical creatures that you know and love. We probably killed them a long time ago. Let's be perfectly honest. There's a reason why there's no human offshoots still alive to this day. It's because we killed them.

46:39There's a reason why you don't find any mythical beasts. All the dragons that might or may have existed in the past were killed for sport. Because that's what we do. And if there was a Sasquatch in the woods that was confirmed and was causing a problem for a town, the local police force would have marched arm in arm in a line with their guns straight out, shooting everything in sight. Little Timmy lost in the woods. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Oh, look, a deer. Bang, bang, bang. Bunny, bang, bang. Everyone all mowed down trying to get to Sasquatch. And then Sasquatch is dead. And when Sasquatch is dying, I know this is about Loch Ness, so let's go back a bit.

47:20They march into the lake arm in arm. Oh, hi. Bang, bang, bang. And they're banging away. What language is that? With their Scottish guns. Their Scottish guns. They gotta blow into it You know inflate the gun And they're shooting shooting underwater Until it's dead finding Nemo Find all these holes In Nemo From the bullets Again Loch Ness monster Not finding Nemo It all connects It all connects yeah

47:56Mark Fischbach:I've got more but I think I think Locky I think Nessie Was a good place oh Locky Yeah, they call it Locky over in Europe. It's Nessie here and where it matters. In Europe. They call them all Locky over there. They drive on the wrong side of the road, call them Locky. It's a mess. Yep, in all of Europe, they drive on the wrong side of the road. That's a fact. Yes, I'm the host and I declare it so. I didn't know those powers to alter reality. I like it. Everyone in Europe just hit with the old, Oh, God. What's passiert here? Oh, legit. shits also the shit but italian oh i didn't know you were fluent thinking about refreshing the carpet in your home now's the time to do it for a limited time at the home depot get 10 percent off installed carpet projects on trusted brands like life proof life proof with pet proof technology home decorators collection and traffic master plus with installation starting at just 49 cents per square foot upgrading your space is more affordable than ever at the home depot offer valid september 24th, 2026 through October 4th, 2026.

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49:34Mark Fischbach:Flip the sip. That was fun. I don't know if you guys had fun. I enjoyed it. You guys had more truths? I did not expect there to be many truths. I'm not a good hot taker. I'm a good fibber. I tell a good fib, but I don't have a lot of hot takes. I think I alienated a lot of my fanbase today. I'm sticking to my one about cats and dogs, though. That was a winner i feel perfectly fine with my position on things you guys are in trouble well i have no concerns about being in trouble i just all right mark you got points for new knob florida bra tittle waymo trains uh your tesla sucked cold on the moon public transit callback too old to drive Cat people have disease Not Oh nut mist Need to love art TP over Willing to fix TP Scottish guns And we killed them I got a bad feeling about how many points I'm about to get I just want to note Need to love art was after the peanut mist in the mouth And in that moment Nope nope nope I had it heard before You read it after Oh well it's written before the arrow It's just convenient you read it after i see yes need to love arts like here what the even fuck do you do i still don't understand the system it's trust me it's fine bob you got points for stained glass cam zoom playing along switch to works ai greater than wade no atmo rip suits oh new mario kart best That probably was before, but the arrow, whatever.

51:16Mark Fischbach:DMV is a phony in Guam. Cats nor dogs. AI art great only at 20%. Stupid mortal pets. Fewer part better art. You got points for that quote. Oh yeah, well that's just true. Likes Nessie. Toilet paper debate for dummies. But you did lose a point for not willing to change the toilet paper direction. It's not that I'm not willing, it's just that it doesn't fucking matter. Right now, Mark, you are at 5, 10, 15, 16 Bob, you're at 5, 10, 15, 14 Cause the loss Damn So 16 to 14 right now I'm fucking out of my gourd It's not over yet We've seen these comebacks happen But it does seem to be your season I already have the best Scottish accent It's in the bag That's true, if that comes up, I'm not even putting up a fight Yeah, you're doomed Shall I spin the how many wheels, sir?

52:09Let's do it We are now in the era of ones. Ah, never mind. Oh, three's good for Bob. Yeah, well, that was kind of my only chance. Or it could be good for me. Extend my reach, you know. What are we adding to the wheel? Oh, Lord of wheels. Love of video games.

52:28Mark Fischbach:What does that mean? You gave some love to Mario Kart today. It's nice to hear positive video game stuff. I'm a gamer. What the hell do you mean by that? I mean, you contributed nothing to video game discussion today and Bob did that made me happy. Usually I'm the video game guy. I'm over here like, oh, blueprints. Oh, check this game out. I was playing this. I think some video game love considering our career roots are video games. It's just a little appreciated. All right. Three spins. It is. Come on. Only give points to me. How many am I behind by two right now? Two.

53:03Did either of you drool? I mean, I was eating, but I don't know if I was drooling. Wait, what is my camera doing here? Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. That's new.

53:19Mark Fischbach:All right. No, I think it might be a respin unless you've drooled. I don't think I drooled at all, no. Yeah, I can't say that I drooled. Yeah, I didn't drool. All right, I'm going to tell my camera to stop being a fucking weirdo.

53:36Oh, most callbacks? You even said I had a callback.

53:40Mark Fischbach:I did, yeah. Wait, I called back to a whole other episode. I said, I did the but an Italian callback. That was a callback. Mark did the public transit callback, and I think those are the only two I have. If I had to guess, his is older, so therefore, I didn't even think that what I was doing was a callback. Well, this is most callbacks. This isn't quality, it's most, and I've got one for each of you at the moment. I wasn't making a callback when I did it. You just wrote it down. Okay. Well, Bob, you get the point. I'll take it. All right. Now let's just land on most callbacks two more times and that'll be a day.

54:17Okay. No point. Fuck you is what we landed on. All right. Oh man. I win either way. It's going to be a tie or it's going to be me. That's true. I'm going to argue this so hard for you, Bob. Come on, Ty. Point for... Oh, no! Point for viewers. I mean, yay, but man, I was... I was sweating a little bit. All right, I'll take it. I'll take it, bud. We haven't had the Wheel of Torture spun in such a long time. It has been way too long.

54:52Mark Fischbach:It's been a long time, man. It's by no fault of our own. Our scores have mostly been tight. That one could have gone either way. I mean, well, congratulations, Mark. You are the winner. Thank you. Thank you very much. What do you have to say? Winner speech. It just goes to show, it's about the journey, not the destination. I thought I was losing the whole time, but I never gave up. I gave up a little bit towards the end there, but then it was right out that I had more points, and then I stopped giving up, and I started fighting again. And even though, even though I don't know how in the hell I won, I still won, and I believe it's because I'm just that handsome.

55:28Mark Fischbach:Too late to change the winner. Bob, um, loser speech. I feel worse about you having to give one now. This loser's speech is sponsored by my inability to craft a hot take of any sort. This was biased against me the whole time. I'm a cold man. I'm not a hot taker. And I never stood a chance. Nobody has hot takes like Mark. Oh, one coin flip would not have saved me. I would need like four coin flips to try and turn this bad boy around. But you know what? You have to take it on the chin. sometimes when obvious bias against you crops up you just have to look the other way and forget that there's a coin flip thing you could have done and that's what I did today well said viewers get to the subreddit or you know make comments because you guys actually lost even worse so you're the ultimate losers and I'm expecting a loser speech from you guys today you got a point which I guess is more than we can say for the listeners but like that means they didn't compete and you did and you still lost so you can follow Mark at Markiplier Bob at Meisker, me at Minion77, or LordMinion777.

56:32Mark Fischbach:Don't follow the viewers anywhere. Take that. Stay tuned for the next one, where I guess we'll see if Mark has any ideas left, because he's hosted a free episode this season, I think, minus two. Oh, he's got it. The most perfect crime is on the way. We'll see. Merch coming soon, now, then, maybe. Better look. Maybe it's out there. You'll find it. Maybe next time we get together, we'll have an update for you. Maybe it's right behind you. God cast out.

57:30We'll see you next time. During the holidays, your house feels so cozy. That's when I know everyone's comfortable enough to kick off their shoes, grab more

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