In short
The episode is mostly a “real or fake” quiz game about Distractible episode titles, mixed with banter and tech/societal small talk. Guests also discuss fast data transfer for editing (PCIe/NVMe arrays, render farms, and fiber internet), frustrations with door-to-door solicitors, and a long-running Lemonati vs. 7up “lime lemon soda” joke used as a recurring ad bit.
Guest backgrounds
The hosts are Mark, Wade, and Bob (Distractible’s regular trio). They joke about being in “yesteryear’s favorite podcast” and compete to host future episodes.
Key claims
Mark and Wade argue about whether certain episode titles are real; they score points for correct guesses. They also claim (in discussion) that nationwide fiber infrastructure money was misused/under-deployed, and that some people can get fiber installed at zero cost if lines already exist.
Notable examples
“Cheesecake Protocol” (fake), “Aliens Among Us” (real), “Toilets and Triumph” (fake), “Quantum Boredom” (fake), “Actually Nothing” (real), and “Emotional Support Vacuum” (fake).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOHosts and Competitors Introduced
1:29 to 1:59
The hosts introduce themselves and set the tone for the episode's competition.
“This episode of Distractable is presented by Vitamin Water.”
Hosts and Competitors Introduced
2:42 to 4:10
The hosts introduce themselves and set the tone for the episode's competition.
“Welcome back to yesteryear's favorite podcast.”
Tech Talk and Ear Infection Jokes
4:10 to 6:10
The hosts exchange jokes while discussing health and technology.
“You never heard of the ear to ass canal?”
Intel Chips and High-Speed Data Transfers
6:10 to 8:08
Discussion about Intel chips and advancements in data transfer technology.
“So it's just like, again, everyone who thinks that the new Intel chips are bad, they're not, actually.”
Technology Pitfalls and Learning Curve
8:08 to 10:15
Exploring the challenges and learning curves associated with technology.
Community Internet Providers and Fiber Stories
10:15 to 14:00
Hosts share stories of communities starting their own internet services in response to poor ISP offerings.
“And now you're an expert or I've been trapped in the middle part of that with technology my entire life.”
Fiber Installation and Construction Stories
14:00 to 17:09
Learn about a fiber installation experience and the humorous mishaps in construction.
“and look because i was like i i think i've talked about before i was like i'm gonna pay for someone to dig a line because I'm like, I just need fiber.”
AT&T's 5G Marketing Tactics
17:10 to 18:22
Discuss the controversial marketing strategies of AT&T and consumer frustrations.
“I was at the gall, like the sheer balls to just do something like that.”
The Irritations of Door-to-Door Sales
18:23 to 22:44
Explore the annoyance of door-to-door salespeople and personal anecdotes about solicitors.
“Because, you know, we have a no soliciting sign we put on our driveway because I got really fucking tired.”
A Quiz About Past Episodes
24:42 to 27:36
Engage in a fun quiz that tests knowledge of previous podcast episodes.
“I know that you know the answers to these.”
Show all 17 chapters
Episode Title Guessing Game
27:37 to 28:00
The hosts play a game guessing if episode titles are real or fake.
Episode Discussion
28:00 to 42:00
“Man, how many ideas do you think I have?”
Episode Title Game
42:00 to 43:40
The hosts engage in a game guessing the titles of their podcast episodes, mixing humor and absurdity.
“There was kind of a series of ideas where we were all kind of...”
Creative Episode Titles
43:40 to 46:48
Discussion about creative and funny episode titles, including the concept of 'Candy Uncle'.
“I've been trying to leak out of this ear for days.”
Real or Fake Episode Titles
46:48 to 49:44
The hosts continue the title guessing game with more humorous titles, exploring what might be real or fake.
“I always think it was mine, but I don't feel like it was mine.”
Final Game Round and Reflections
49:44 to 56:00
The hosts wrap up the game, discuss scores, and reflect on memories from past episodes.
“Let's do one more go around and we'll see who knows what.”
Reflections on Podcast History
56:00 to 58:19
The hosts reflect on their past episodes and what they've learned from them.
“I have not looked through the back catalog.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon forward sodas, even lemon forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them and squeezed out the truth.
0:19That's lemon propaganda right there. But now 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Join the 7up rising. Flip the sip. When you've got a job to do, Lowe's knows how to help you keep it moving. My Lowe's Pro Rewards members save more with member volume discounts on eligible orders through a quote of$2 ,000 or more. Plus, save time with job site delivery on select purchases. Not a member? Join for free today. Exclusions, more terms, and restrictions apply. Can't be combined with any other discount, including but not limited to contract and or special pricing. Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions.
0:57Details at lowes.com slash terms. Subject to change. We just moved into our new house and I didn't realize just how close we were to the neighbors. That's when my friend told me about Blinds.com.
1:08Ethan Nestor:Blinds.com isn't a medication, but it can improve how you feel about your home. Customers who shop at Blinds.com experience excellent customer service, from consultation to installation. Side effects include increased privacy and better sleep. Talk to your partner today and see if Blinds.com is right for you. Visit Blinds.com to order your free samples.
1:30Mark Fischbach:This episode of Distractable is presented by Vitamin Water. Some drinks are fun, some are functional, but Vitamin Water said, why not both? There is nothing more refreshing than like a nice Vitamin Water ice cold sip in the heat.
1:44Ethan Nestor:I only drink zero sugar drinks, so of course I'm a fan of the zero sugar rehydrate pineapple passion fruit. I'm a big pineapple guy. Pineapple good.
1:53Mark Fischbach:Born in New York City, built for people who work hard and play hard. Grab a Vitamin Water today, copyright 2025, Glass So. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of GlassO.
2:29From Vlad's favorite to Wade's tight hole. Yes! It's time for I Farted during this episode. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, everybody.
2:51Ethan Nestor:Welcome back to yesteryear's favorite podcast. The podcast of your grandparents. grandparents podcast they listened to while they were slugging down their morning coffee that's right podcast from a century ago world famous distractible i i'm running this it's a hard bit to do guys i'm not gonna lie nailed it i'm running out of people's favorites who's who who could like us i've already said everyone likes us who could possibly be next vladimir putin's favorite podcast distractible old lad old lad as we call him you wonder who this mysterious fourth member was well V-Dog get in here welcome back to distractible if you've never seen the show before I'm hosting because I won the last one the other two guys who are here are going to compete to win this one to host the next one it never ends please save us but my competitors for today as always are going to be Mark and Wade, say hi, fellas Hello One of you can listen Oh
3:58Mark Fischbach:Damn it, Wade, get your ear infection out of your ear and listen Oh, that's okay, it's spread to my ass at this point I am one long infection, like a tapeworm of infection How's your ear spread to your ass? You go ear to ass, man? You go straight from ear to ass? You don't?
4:14Ethan Nestor:You never heard of the ear to ass canal? Nope, never heard of that one That's a famous shipping route at the early 20th, the turn of the 18th, 19th century. When we're canals?
4:25Mark Fischbach:The 16800s. Yeah. That's how I know I'm close to death. If you combine hearing and arse, you get hearse. That's pretty good.
4:34Ethan Nestor:I feel like technically you get hearse, but I'll give it to you. There is a passage from your ear to your throat or mouth or wherever it connects. It helps equalize pressure, right? Keep going. Keep going. And if yeah if you keep going down technically So it's one long Continuous thing to your Butthole so I guess he's correct you ever
4:55Mark Fischbach:Vomit out your ears nope
4:57Ethan Nestor:What mark is saying is it's physically Possible to fart out your ears Nope I'm pretty sure I'm
5:03Mark Fischbach:Reading this correctly yeah yeah When you like close your mouth plug your nose and Blow and just Explode your Eardrums he's so fucking Funny that'd be so Funny the blood just
5:18Ethan Nestor:farts out the ears come on come on how many points to explode live on the podcast hey your your infection will probably feel better if you just blew up your whole head yeah yeah if you don't have an eardrum can't have an ear infection without a head it's tempting uh i have an episode for today as per the constitution and regulations of this podcast but before we get into that how How you guys doing? You got any of them small talks? Anything going on? What's the news? Well, why is he frozen? He's just pretending. He just has an ear. He just doesn't want to go. You should have picked a wilder facial expression.
6:01Okay, so like most of my things, it's all technology based, right? Unbelievable. Well, okay, so I've had this great before about like Intel and how the new chip that they had got shat on, and it's actually pretty good. So it's just like, again, everyone who thinks that the new Intel chips are bad, they're not, actually. They're really not. And I talked about this on a Power Wash episode, but I was like, is there some global conspiracy to try to shut down Intel because it's basically America's only leading chip manufacturer? And if they don't have it, if it goes out of business or something gets sold, wouldn't that be?
6:36Anyway, this is not about that at all. I realized that it was always within my grasp to have high speeds, but I was so focused on these pathetic, pitiful consumer level things that I didn't realize that there were complete solutions to get extremely high speed data access to your computers right from your PCIe slots. What? I'm about to have 50 gigabytes per second transfer speeds. 50 gigabytes. What? from what to what from from whence does that happen so this is uh there's a it's actually a relatively new product but i could have done this at any time with networking because i'm dumb and storage servers and whatnot i was building this render firm and i never actually did anything but there's this card that you can put in to your your computer like a graphic card goes right in the pcie slot right and in the back is a like full pci bandwidth connector that takes that to an external enclosure right and so i bought that and i have ssds lying around because i've done a ton of storage i have movies and i have files and so i if i never throw anything away or never throw sell anything so if i reform it then put there i get a full eight ssds nvme ssds of speed through a full pipeline right into my computer and i've been dealing with piddly little thunderbolt with its 40 gigabit per second connection when i could have had 50 gigabytes per second of pure data transfer wow that is a lot potentially more actually potentially more i don't think i have
8:15Ethan Nestor:enough data that i've ever stored on any hard drive that that makes a difference to me i would just be able to jump my shit back and forth across that all collectively as one hunk that's a lot of things it is so much but well let me tell you i still even after all my networking improvements that i've done to my editing process i had to transfer the movie to a new drive because i wanted to work on it with a computer with like a 4090 in it which i have but transferring it just to even an array that i have on fast drives through thunderbolt it took a day it still took a day to transfer this stuff jesus a day and that's an improvement from the three days it took like maybe a year and a half ago two years ago it took a day i don't have a day to waste for this to transfer and then it failed the first time so i had to do it a couple times like it always does when when i if i have this i could transfer the whole thing in it probably would still take like three hours but three hours is better than a day you know i mean yeah that's a dramatic improvement but damn it's still a long run time oh you know what you could do is just play the movie on the screen and aim a camcorder at it and then just then you'd have it on the camcorder you just send that to whoever i get you you're thinking then it's only the runtime of the movie itself which you know that's pretty good compared to a whole day yeah man but these the the the world of technology out there is so vast and there's so many obvious things that i don't have the problem is it would i'd have to get it onto that drive in the first place and all of my other slower things it would still take a day to get it onto that big fast array but then i could start transferring it to everything else faster anyway i don't know anything about technology as much as i yap about it i really don't no i've been trapped in that pit yeah we've talked about this before i think but you know that graph of like you're starting to learn something and you feel like you're learning and then you keep learning and you fall into the pit of realizing how much shit there is that you're never going to understand.
10:13Ethan Nestor:And then you're supposed to keep pushing through and climb back out on the other side. And now you're an expert or I've been trapped in the middle part of that with technology my entire life. Like I know enough to be like, oh, that's so much cool shit. I don't know enough to use any of it in a useful way or to know what I should do. I know every time I have a tech problem, I'm like, there's definitely a solution out there for this. but i all i can think is google how transfer data fast and then see what kind like i'm there's a there's a gap in between what i know exists and what i can actually put to use but i mean yeah legitimately that's what it is i feel like you're you got to be close to coming out the other side because i'm sure there's a ton of shit that you're aware of that you're like you don't understand or you don't but you know so many things you've done so much cool stuff i apparently I don't even know the beginnings of it because my my my render farm is very powerful, but it still isn't woefully under like, you know, at the NVIDIA CEO, what he's talking about.
11:16The more you buy, the more you save with his ten thousand dollar graphics cards while he's he's hawking a server rack that's as big as bigger than the shelf behind me that probably cumulatively in the whole rack costs like ten million dollars. And that's just to go really fast.
11:33Mark Fischbach:You need a render cooperative or a render collective farm. What? What is that? A group of farms.
11:41Ethan Nestor:Those are types of farms. You'd argue like a ground plowing kind of farm and a co-op kind of deal. What a name that would be though. The render collective.
11:53Mark Fischbach:This is my render cooperative. I have 16 garages each stacked with...
11:59Ethan Nestor:Every bathroom in every building I have access to, stuffed full of servers.
12:05Mark Fischbach:I am a man with 10 garages of render farms. There was a town that once had like only one internet provider, right? It was probably Spectrum, let's be honest. It's probably always Spectrum. They had one internet provider, but everyone was so fed up because they were providing bad service and stuff. So the whole town just said collectively, we're going to start our own internet provider because fuck you. and they just bought one server for like their town and they hooked into the grid that is is public grid the the the actual infrastructure going interstate and inner inner uh city is like public because it has to be and then like i mean occasionally they'll lay their own cables and stuff like that but usually it's like infrastructure level so they tapped into that and we're gonna manage our own internet and then they tapped in they start providing internet for the entire community at way faster speeds than the other company was doing and then they took it over right are you looking that up bob i'm googling it this appears to have happened multiple times i'm
13:00Ethan Nestor:seeing a person named jared mosh started washington fiber properties llc to provide internet to his rural community in michigan but there is a similar type story that happened in dylan beach california apparently this is this has been happened more than once but yeah people just get sick of the isp being useless garbage and you turns out if you have enough resources or a small enough community or both you could just do that i can't believe we're all still not mad at like at &t and those other uh fiber companies where in the 90s or early 2000s the government basically allotted billions of dollars to put fiber across the whole united states and they did it they did it and then they just didn't use it or in cases they didn't do it and they took the money and ran but there there are fiber lines everywhere and people have forgotten about it i actually didn't know that that happened oh absolutely they didn't know there was a fiber line literally connected to my house i had to have someone from the company come out here and look because i was like i i think i've talked about before i was like i'm gonna pay for someone to dig a line because I'm like, I just need fiber.
14:14I've bad enough here. It's only Spectrum. That's what it was. And then I was like, I'm just going to pay for it. And by the time they came out here, it was like, we're going to do a console. We'll see how long it is. We just got to find where the closest junction is. And then they went around back in my house. They were like, oh,
14:28Mark Fischbach:you know, pluck the string. You see them unwrapping it. Yeah, we'll have to install one. and it was crazy because the installation cost was a big fat zero dollars because even they were
14:42Ethan Nestor:like well we don't need to do anything turns out all we needed to do was oh look at that look at that you got fiber look at that yeah that's that's it's just stupid and then of course the power company ripped that fiber right out of the wall when they were replacing one of the power poles
15:00Mark Fischbach:nearby that's the best they had to make sure they sprayed the ground to mark where the cables are
15:07Ethan Nestor:so they knew where to remove them yeah we'll fix that for you if you pay us dude construction guys are wild about that stuff i don't know if this is universal but my parents when i was in like high school had a deck we had some issues in our backyard we had a deck but it was like flooding kind of the basement kind of it was a whole thing and so they had like guys dig out and put a more of a foundation in and so they were digging pretty deep into the backyard and this dude was on an excavator i think he had a fixed like exterior fixators on one of his legs because he had been in a pretty horrific motorcycle accident but he was on the excavator running the job site he was the contractor and he was like just dug up a wire like literally was all and the wire was like stuck in the bucket of the excavator and and he like my dad and i were kind of around and we saw that we walked over and we're like oh shit whoa what do we do with that and he climbed out of the excavator climbed up across the boom arm onto the bucket and was like holding it with his bare hands no shirt just like get off and we were like what if that's a power line you fucking psychopath and he was like that's probably not that doesn't seem thick enough that it would really hurt me they hardly ever bury these you think and it turned out it was a power line it really fucked up the power to our house pretty good and had to fix that but he just literally was just like we were like wow we're about to see a man get fried oh shit good dial nine one and wait
16:40Ethan Nestor:anyway i love when construction guy i'm gonna give myself i'm gonna give myself a point for
16:44Mark Fischbach:that yeah bob that might be biggest laugh if that comes up yeah give yourself a point for that one bob this he's gonna be in the lead man wait we gotta get up nine one wait is the best thing i've
16:54Ethan Nestor:heard uh well modernly on cell phones i could you just type in nine one one but don't hit call so it's even more efficient you know anyway that's all i got for my updates i didn't know that thing about the government paid them to put fiber and then they just straight up didn't use it though that's that's dope yeah they built a nationwide fiber optic network by commissioning a bunch of companies and they call it cost about 200 billion dollars to replace the existing copper network with fiber to serve the nation's homes bringing fiber optics to every home would have cost any of her from 150 to 500 billion yeah there's wasn't fully deployed they pocketed a lot of money and there's it's called the broadband scandal or something like that neat yeah so you know people should not be happy but i'm still not happy with at &t for their stupid bullshit 5ge whenever i had a 4g phone you remember that and then 5g was starting to roll out and then same phone and but AT &T was like, what if we rename what it currently is, which is 4G to 5G E?
17:50It's like the 5G experience. That was their excuse. I was so mad. I was at the gall, like the sheer balls to just do something like that. To just wait, what?
18:03Ethan Nestor:Mark, they just needed you to buy some more stuff. Okay. Do you know how hard it is to get people to give you their money and give them the minimum amount possible? You know how complicated that is? as a general business practice, it's tough, man. I think you should have a little more sympathy for the big companies. You're right. You're right. What am I thinking? I think you're not giving them enough credit.
18:24Mark Fischbach:Why small talk is related? It has to do with solicitors. Whoa. I don't like that very much. Yeah, I didn't either. Because, you know, we have a no soliciting sign we put on our driveway because I got really fucking tired. We're like, Girl Scout cookies only. I don't get them. But I don't understand. If someone sees that sign and they're like, I'm a solicit and you know what I'm a solicit so good that even though I ignored their sign they're gonna want what I got like all right fucker what do you want why you at my door listen I was looking at your house from this angle where I can't see anything on the roof but you know what you need new gutter guards I'm like I don't fucking I know I don't unless you do let me tell you more about our no I don't please go away but what about our gutter guards I don't if that's the brand that's a brand name i don't mean to insult gutter guard specifically with some kind of fucking gutter protection i wasn't even listening some gutter guard salesman is weeping right now it's like oh no it's the leo dicaprio meme he's like it's the guy that's the guy i told my boss about who just wouldn't buy my gutter guards there was a guy at our door he rang the doorbell we weren't at the house at the time rang our doorbell and then just stood outside for like five minutes just waiting like oh yeah i mean i heard the doorbell 10 minutes ago sorry i thought i'd answer it now three hours later comes back does the exact same thing and apparently uh he did the same thing one of our neighbors and our neighbor was like no we don't want you they have a no soliciting sign maybe you shouldn't go there either the guy's like i don't have to listen to those it's like what do you expect to happen do you think i'm gonna be so enticed by your shit ass product i'll be like oh man i should have extra solicitor sign please solicit me more
20:07Ethan Nestor:what you gotta do is you gotta walk up to the door with like a notepad and just be like oh are you registered as a solicitor in our county did you register what's your name and uh do you have the the number on the registration just so i can look at they'll scare them away a registered solicit offender is that funny i was about to laugh
Read the full transcript
20:28Mark Fischbach:i said it i was like i immediately feel bad that's that's not good well you feel bad for who the the solicit offenders you're gonna defend the solicit offenders here on our podcast on vladimir putin's favorite podcast you're gonna defend solicit offenders i'm sorry mother russia i don't know they're just annoying the shit out of me i don't know what they expect i mean it must
20:51Ethan Nestor:work i i'm i'm with you but it must work right they spend a lot of money on people where that's their job where they go around and sell solar panels or gutter guards or whatever it has to work enough for that to be worth it because i wouldn't i never would and i never even entertained buying a thing from those people but they must get someone who's doing that whoever's doing that
21:11Mark Fischbach:you stop it if it's like a kid for a school thing like you know they're doing a fundraiser or girl scout cookies or something like that it's like okay that's fine like those are exceptions but like someone over the age of 18 who's coming to sell me some bullshit it's like i'm not gonna change my nothing you can say unless it's just like would you like the suitcase full of money like then maybe like you know what sure yeah bigger no solicitor sign they didn't see it
21:34Ethan Nestor:that's the problem yeah that's probably yeah like like the size of like a graduation celebration
21:41Mark Fischbach:sign like you know like 15 feet it's always like house repair tree removal or uh bug getting rid of bugs they're like hi i'm not terminix i'm that other company bug go bye bye would you like some bug go bye bye sprayed on your floors uh what do you mean spread by there it is see no bugs on your face that'll be 50 my dad actually had that happen not in the face right but it was some i don't know like a cleaning spray salesman and he he not only threw dirt on my dad's shoes he's like splash and then sprayed it and it just made like this muddy horrible mess he's like oh i was so mad i was just a little kid at the time it was like your dad your dad's fresh moccasins and he's like this will come right out look at this paint permanent marker yeah sorry i'm just i fucking hate solicitors i hate them i hate when they come to my door and they don't leave and then you tell them no and they're like No do you mean like Actually yes wait hold on Just give me a paper
22:50Ethan Nestor:Discount yeah you're not obligated To be polite with them you can literally Just be like nope close the Door I know that's hard for me To do I'm like no thank you Like you don't have to like threaten them or Be rude but you can literally just be Like no
23:06Mark Fischbach:No thank you you want two Times the product no no just get Out of my yard sounds fun That's like a party But have they come since the sign? That's the question Yeah, did they walk past the sign? In and out, they walked right by it In fact, the dude had like one of those little One wheeled segway things, whatever the fuck they're called The little wheelie thing Oh, oh, one wheel Oh, those little one wheel things, what are they called? I don't, I don't know They're called one wheel, unibicles I don't fucking know Unibicles, yep, you're getting closer I have a feeling Uniwheely
23:43The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7-Up. Flip the SEP.
24:39Details at Lowe's.com slash terms. Subject to change.
24:43Ethan Nestor:Shall we do the topic? What is it? What is it? What is it, man? What's the topic? Well, you're going to love it, Wade. It's a quiz. Oh, no. No, no, no. It's okay. I know that you know the answers to these. It's a quiz about stuff that we've done, guys. 20 easy quizzes. No. It's not. It's not. I haven't honestly. I couldn't think of a name that works in that naming convention but look I have a list and the answer is only real or fake that's it there's no it's another binary choice it's a list of titles of episodes of distractible oh fuck fuck some of them are real and some of them are made up we are not involved in the naming process I have never once looked at the titles of our episode i just wanted to go through it just see if we remember what we talked about there's only we've done like 500 how are we supposed to know oh it's like 400 or less it's not that many oh 400 or less okay sure anyway i some of these some of these i feel like we should know some of them i didn't realize were real titles so we'll get to those as we get i just i want to talk about i was interested i've always we've done so many of these now i i don't remember them all i'm not claiming that i do but i'm just curious how how good your guys's memory of all the fun times that we've had is uh i'm a flip a coin to see who goes first i suppose oh and i do want to address this someone on the subreddit had a gripe about how we flip coins that They ascribe to the flip theory of flip, catch, put it, flip it onto your hand.
26:33Mark Fischbach:That's harder to show on camera. That's the way I do it normally, but.
26:36Ethan Nestor:Yeah, well, and several people, like their original comment was like, these fucking idiots don't even know how to flip coins. Is this an American thing or what? It's a coin flip. Flipping it onto the back of your hand doesn't do anything. It's just a flip. Yeah, that's just one more flip. Unless you look when you catch it and then you decide in that moment and you're just manipulating your coin flips throughout your entire life. I feel like that gives more chance to do the cheating, whereas this is like whatever lands. You have to. What I would really prefer to do is how they do football coin flips where you flip it and just let it fall on the ground and then no one's touching it or anything.
27:15Ethan Nestor:It's just like it lands how it lands. Anyway, to that person and the comments on the subreddit.
27:22Mark Fischbach:Shut up. Yeah heads are an asshole tails you suck Oh looks like I got him
27:28Ethan Nestor:Anyway Lady is weighty and Lion is Mark I love the rhyming pattern Lady is up first
27:36Mark Fischbach:Good bad is it I don't know
27:39Ethan Nestor:Weighty the lady is up first it means you have a very Slight advantage in winning the episode Which is what you want So it'll be even more embarrassing when I lose Yeah you should win now Yeah you're on a pretty low streak So I'm rooting for you, buddy. Thanks, man. I'm running out of episode ideas. You keep making me crank them out. I can't keep them up. All right, guys.
28:00Mark Fischbach:Somehow I still feel insulted by this.
28:02Ethan Nestor:Man, how many ideas do you think I have? Come on. I only had to win the first three seasons. Give me a break. All right, Wade. Real or fake? The episode we did that was called Cheesecake Protocol. Fake? When have we ever talked about cheesecake on this show or whatever?
28:19Mark Fischbach:Good job. Good nose. good sniffing okay all right 50 50 on that i felt i felt like it was a 50 chance i could have gotten that one wrong it kind of is just a 50 that is how it works yeah no unless you know anything
28:31Ethan Nestor:unless you have information it is kind of a fit yeah you can't pull anything by this guy he's sharp as a wit this is why i have such a good winning streak sharp as a rivet this one uh mark real or fake we did an episode called aliens among us well i mean that sounds like something we'd do. I can't remember. Did we? Would you like me to answer? No, I'm asking God. Did we? Did we? You have to ask dramatically if you want him to answer. You know, I'm actually going to say no because it sounds like something we do, but I can't remember what we would have talked about. You saying fake? Yeah, I think it's fake.
29:13Ethan Nestor:That's real. Your instinct was accurate. We did do that. Wade, true or false, or real or fake More accurately, we did an episode Called Moist Appreciation
29:25Mark Fischbach:If we didn't, I like it We should I don't like it at all This is just episode ideas All the fake ones are gonna make I literally opened up my podcast Ideas sheet for this
29:39Ethan Nestor:Hey, way
29:41Mark Fischbach:To write new ideas
29:42Ethan Nestor:Well, these are already written on my ideas list So I guess we'll see who wins first well let's see who gets them first you have to actually win an episode to host something so how am i allowed to cheat bob how am i allowed to cheat what how much cheating can i do i will allow you to browse our spotify listings that seems like a bigger cheating than i'm just you
30:04Mark Fischbach:know here i'll read you my ideas right no i won't i don't want to spoil it no no stop selling real or fake there's only two things i'm fake you're right he keeps getting it there's only two things
30:16Ethan Nestor:uh raltz well you're correct that is fake but also you had a decent chance of guessing that one moist i don't remember the idea moist appreciation moist is an idea for an episode mark real or fake we did an episode called the egg gambit the egg gambit yeah when would we have talked about egg i don't know we've probably talked about eggs at some point but nah that sounds fake i don't think that was real that isn't in fact fake it's real it's fake great job we keep changing the terms of this wait what do you mean what was it real or fake wasn't that it true false real fake fake i i i corrected myself from true false calm down now all right the egg gambit fake great episode idea probably wade real or fake we did an episode called Toilets and Triumph.
31:10Ethan Nestor:I've had a lot of toilet talk over the years.
31:13Mark Fischbach:Yeah, you have. You really have. But have I ever been triumphant?
31:16Ethan Nestor:It's like one of your favorite topics, really.
31:20Mark Fischbach:It's got alliteration. It's got toilets in it. It's gotta be true.
31:24Ethan Nestor:I'm sorry. Toilets and Triumph is fake. You know what? It's on the list. Oh, I just gave you a point for being wrong. Hang on. I take those. We'll correct that later. Hang on. I take those. Mark, real or fake? Real or fake we did an episode called All nighters I'm sure that's real we had to have Are you asking god again or
31:44Mark Fischbach:No you maybe are you god Yes no Yeah we dead
31:51Ethan Nestor:If your answer is real Your answer is correct Yeah I think I remember we talked about all nighters Because we shared times we did all nighters
31:59Mark Fischbach:Well fuck I'll erase that from my list I just wrote in
32:02Ethan Nestor:When real or fake we did an episode called Mind control for beginners Beginners.
32:07Mark Fischbach:I think we skipped straight to intermediates, if I remember right. Mind control for beginners.
32:13Ethan Nestor:Yeah, well, yeah. What would we have talked about? Imagine it. Because you were there, if it was real. False. I don't think so, did we? Nah, you're right. That's false. Sounds like a good one. Man, these all sound like great ideas. Yeah, write that down. Write that down. These are bangers. These are bangers right here. All right. I swear this is just a randomly assorted list of the stuff I came up with, but I feel like you might get this one, Mark. Real or fake, Mark, we did an episode called 20 More Questions, at least. Oh, no. I love that this episode is coming up in the exact context of the episode itself, where it's like, you probably should remember it, but also, is this a trick question?
32:53Okay, so you did 20 easy questions, and then you did it again later. I know that. And then there was a most recent edition of it. So if it was real, it would be that middle one. What did you say the title was?
33:06Ethan Nestor:The title is 20 more questions At least At least is in parenthesis at the end We do love a good parenthetical I'm gonna say true, real, real true That's real That was the second 20 questions episode Yeah! Damn you even guessed which one it was Mark's encyclopedic knowledge of our Episodes I think I've gotten two right It's encyclopedic wait real or fork fork real or fork I love this game real or fork wait real or fork the fork I used to eat my salad at Olive Garden last night go oh shit it was a spork I used a knife cause I'm insane wait real or fake we did an episode called the giraffe incident sounds like a good episode sounds good
34:01Mark Fischbach:Did we ever even talk about giraffes in this show?
34:05Ethan Nestor:False. You're correct. And I love that that's your reasoning is we've just never talked about giraffes. I mean, that actually was my line of thinking. I was like, did we ever hear about giraffes? I'm a giraffe. I'm a giraffe.
34:19Mark Fischbach:The only time I could think about a giraffe coming up was whenever we did the drawer smell.
34:24Ethan Nestor:I think I've had a small talk about James feeding a giraffe because he's done that multiple times at the zoo. I feel like I've talked about that. Small talk maybe but never an episode About giraffes I don't know if you've seen our show but a lot of Some of the episodes are basically just small talk I don't know if you've ever seen that Alright no that's probably wrong What? Why are you laughing? Sorry I just this title made me laugh I think spoon or false Sorry Alright real or fake We did an episode Called not my grandma's Funeral That's a really good It's a great title Isn't that funny Is it not my grandma's funeral Or not my grandma's funeral Not my grandma's funeral That is such a genius episode title I'm gonna say it's fake Just cause we couldn't be that smart You are correct sir
35:18Mark Fischbach:Not my grandma's funeral It was my grandma's bar mitzvah
35:22Ethan Nestor:Got her Or something However that gets her That's got her That definitely got her oh no it got her no not my grandma's funeral wait real or fake i almost said fork again real or fake we did an episode called thousand hour energy okay i'm having a vague flashback to us talking
35:46Mark Fischbach:about energy drinks yeah well i only drink
35:50Ethan Nestor:three energy drinks per recording session when we do this show so i'm sure
35:54Mark Fischbach:it's come up i'm gonna say this one's real you are correct that must be the one where i drank in college like six uh amp energy blues and then three five hour energies i think and then i almost died yeah i think i think the title came
36:10Ethan Nestor:from we had a bit where we were talking about if you just stacked five hour energies you could drink enough to where you'd have a thousand hour energy yeah something it was something like that yeah i just remember that that blue amp pyramid of cans in our dorm room that went floor florida
36:28Mark Fischbach:ceiling we're gonna be reflecting on this it's gonna be an episode that came out two weeks ago is is amp even sold anymore i don't actually know it's got a website still yeah the future oh no that's that's actual power company amp energy it's a solar panel so a door-to-door soliciting service it seems like amp might be gone it was a subsidiary of mountain dude oh now it's called mountain dude amp they have kickstart but do they have amp still it's like mountain dude amp now
36:57Ethan Nestor:okay i think if i remember it's they no longer have sugar-free ones is why i it doesn't exist to me as of this year it's discontinued six months ago there's a post on the mountain dude partner went to 7-eleven to get his amp store owner said they're pretty sure pepsi had discontinued because unable to order any more. Damn. That had a following. Mark, real or fake? We have an episode called Cursed Sandwich. Cursed Sandwich? We did do several food episodes. We had the bread. It was called bread, but we had that episode and that sort of sequence where we talked a lot about bread and things.
37:39Mark Fischbach:We also had the one where we talked about how to make sandwiches. That's true. Did we? with when we use spoon or knife or peanut butter or whatever oh yeah is that this episode I don't fucking know you helping me is he helping me or hurting me
37:53Ethan Nestor:yes I would assume he's trying to hurt you but I'm gonna say cause I have this vague memory of it I think it's real I'm sorry that's a fake one I almost just gave you a point for being wrong I'm just so proud of you
38:09Mark Fischbach:we've all been talking we've talked about every one of these so far
38:12Ethan Nestor:that's another banger though like seriously i'm i'm keeping this list after the fact this is these are ideas right here wade real or fake we did an episode called spaghetti laws fake i've got no trigger memory whatsoever from spaghetti laws yeah that's fake see you guys know stuff you know stuff a little surprised wade is the one who's knowing more of them but mark is just mark is just too trusting right now hey come on man i'm very i'm very convincing uh mark real or fake we did an episode called all the same person something was that like a three no we would have called it three-headed expert if we i think we have an episode called three-headed something looks we did do that kind of one yeah all the same person though sounds fake i'm gonna say fake oh i'm sorry that one's a real one what's that one about what was that episode i gotta be honest that's one of the ones i don't know i have no memory of what that is or how what if that's uh anyway uh it's fine it's fine all right all right oh actually wait a second is that made up wait wait wait is that i'm glad i checked i'm glad i checked I think all the same person I think that might be a lie I think I might have just Yeah well look this is what you get when you do
39:40Mark Fischbach:Shoddy research Did you guys see the person have I talked about this the person who cosplayed us Oh the three head Yeah that was great So horrifying but so good
39:49Ethan Nestor:You know what Mike You get the point for that one bud That's a point for Mike Unfortunately that point does not go to Mark No Sometimes Mike just comes out of nowhere And steals your points Oh man I hope Mike doesn't get a fork Fork or spork Shit I don't know Alright no you get the point for that one I don't know if I had a stroke or what But that one was labeled incorrectly That's fake obviously none of us remember doing that Yeah We remember these other ones Like this one maybe right Wade Real or fake We have an episode titled bread is a conspiracy Fake It's just bread You sure about that
40:29Mark Fischbach:Yeah fork fork fork it's fake
40:32Ethan Nestor:Nah you're right we didn't do that That's a terrible episode name If we did Bread I doubt we would have done That as a follow up Unless it was an episode called Bread Followed immediately by an episode called Bread As a conspiracy So no bread breaks cutting That's an old one He's busting out the old jokes You're making him feel nostalgic here This is the only way to trigger his memory Is to give him memes that he remembers And then he'll actually know where he is in time Wade at 89 years old in the nursing home and the grandkids come in and they're like, remember Grandpa? Break skateboard? And Wade's just like No head!
41:11No head! Break skateboard!
41:13Mark Fischbach:They're putting me in the ground. So no dead. Break cemetery.
41:20Ethan Nestor:So yes dead? Fix headstone. Anyway, Mark's turn. Mark? You sure? I don't even know who I am anymore. mike's turn real or fake we have an episode called acronyms but better that's real i remember that one yeah that is real that was that was fairly recent actually i mean relative to some of these wait i think that might have been no was that your idea or was that my idea i don't know whose idea but we did it i think that was my idea i think the acronym one was my idea but then we also like wade that that preceded wade's like old-timey sayings one and you also did one that was kind of in a similar vein, I think.
41:59Ethan Nestor:I don't know if mine followed yours. There was kind of a series of ideas where we were all kind of... We had a brainwave, you know? Oh, yeah. Me. Real or fake? We have an episode titled Dumpster Dads. If we don't, we will.
42:17Mark Fischbach:Real. I'm sorry, that one is fake. Fuck. Well, not for long. Either way, Wade wins. I don't know what it'll be about, but I'll find something
42:26Ethan Nestor:in there. Yeah, that's a banger. I can already tell. Mark, real or fake? We have an episode called Actually Nothing. That sounds like something we do.
42:35Mark Fischbach:We've had a lot of nothing episodes. One of them had to be
42:38Ethan Nestor:called that, right? Hey, there's Wade helping you again. Better listen to your friend Wade. He's definitely trying to help.
42:44Mark Fischbach:I got you, bud. I'm right here on the good angel side. Nah, he's trying to trick me after the fact. I think that is real. I think that is real. It is real. You're correct. Actually Nothing. So yeah, I had you back the whole time. But who's got your back? Me? Backman.
43:02Ethan Nestor:Backman? Backman. You don't have to laugh. It's okay. I didn't. Wade, real or fake? We have an episode called Quantum Boredom.
43:13Mark Fischbach:It's probably real. Also, the reason I didn't laugh at your back jokes, I was trying to think of a way to make back shots a joke in that, but I couldn't think of anything. That's why I didn't laugh. What was real? Quantum Boredom. I think we had a quantum something or another but was it quantum boredom? Fake. That is fake, you are correct. I'm having a real hard time writing today.
43:34Ethan Nestor:I think I'm losing function, guys. I think I'm going downhill right now.
43:36Mark Fischbach:Hey, me too. I'm dying of ear age. I need my ear in age. Maybe you just need to go ear in age. I've been trying to leak out of this ear for days. Stop trying to piss out of your ear. What's when you're friendstipated? What's it called when you can't... You're friendstipated. You got the name, that's it. I got that for my ear.
43:56Ethan Nestor:Mark. Yeah, Mark. Mark, real or fake? We have an episode titled Mouth Noises and Mayhem. Mouth Noises and Mayhem. That's a great, it's a good title. You know, this is kind of the same way that I name my video title. Sometimes, you know, the accessory title outside of the game title. I just make up something. It has nothing to do with the actual contents. I sometimes forget what's in there. And I'll just, like, say some. And the description will be nonsensical. I farted during this recording. It's a good one. Can we name that this episode? I farted during this episode. I'm not opposed to that. I probably, I definitely did fart during this recording, so it's even accurate.
44:31Ethan Nestor:I'm a little, I'm a little gassy today. Mouth sounds and mayhem. Is that what it was? Mouth noises and mayhem. Mouth noises. Okay, specifically.
44:41I'm making mouse noises, therefore it must be real. What a strong course of logic.
44:47Ethan Nestor:Unfortunately, that one's fake. Fake. Wait, real or fake? We have an episode titled Not Financial Advice Were you looking when I did that Because there was a visual component I saw the quotation Fake That one's real
45:04Mark Fischbach:I thought it was called Illegal Advice
45:07Ethan Nestor:The not financial advice one was I forget what it was We were talking about stock trading Different than Illegal Advice Illegal Advice was shooting God With a shotgun and five gallon buckets of wheelchairs or some such, some kind of thing. I don't remember. Still makes me laugh. It's always funny. Mark, real or fake? We have an episode titled The Great Hug Off. Hug of War would have been better. Do we have that? You remember we all hugged each other a bunch? You don't remember that? That sounds like a thing we do. I'm going with fake because I don't think... Please don't tell me that's real. Please don't be real No that's fake
45:54Mark Fischbach:Yeah hug of war would have been better than the great hug off Well why don't you suggest these names when we're making them Cause we didn't have that episode man
46:01Ethan Nestor:Or I want to Mr. Name Master who hears a name and declares it's the best name He's ever come up with
46:06Mark Fischbach:I still to this day don't know what the fuck Candy Uncle is And people talk about Candy Uncle all the time You remember Candy Uncle?
46:11Ethan Nestor:Oh I love that one
46:12Mark Fischbach:Apparently everyone did
46:14Ethan Nestor:I don't remember anything about it It was a method of disciplining your children Candy uncle is a character actor that you hire to be their uncle. And if the kid eats too many pieces of candy, the uncle starts to get sick. And if the kid doesn't listen to you and stop eating so much sugar, candy uncle dies because he ate too much candy. And it teaches your kid a valuable lesson about moderating their income, their intake of sugary snacks and stuff.
46:42Mark Fischbach:God, I can't wait to forget this in two days and people be right back in square.
46:45Ethan Nestor:How are you going to not remember one of my greatest inventions of all time? Was that my invention? I always think it was mine, but I don't feel like it was mine. I came up with that. Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm welcome. Mark, you just did Hug Off, right? So, Wade, real or fake? We have an episode called Shirts Off, Gloves On. I like that one, so that's got to be real. That's fake.
47:05Mark Fischbach:You know what? Going back to the drawing board. Still winning, no matter what. We have had an episode that's kind of like that. I feel like there's an episode called Our Shirts Are Off or something like that.
47:17Ethan Nestor:Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Our Shirts Are Out is an episode that we did in March of this year. It's almost like it was crafted to deceive. Bitch. All right, Mark. This next one is really tricky. Okay. True fork, Mark. We have an episode called Aliens Among Us Part 2. okay this counts on me remembering the answer for the previous
47:44Mark Fischbach:20 easy titles or more oh no
47:51Ethan Nestor:yeah i know that that is an interesting thing i sort of assumed you'd remember when we talked about the first time this came up but i forgot that you might not but it wouldn't matter if i remember that because we might not have done a part two hey well that's the second half of centrifuge subterfuge it was such a long episode we we broke it in two pieces okay i'm okay i think we did the first one it's unlikely we did a part two of that one i'm saying that part two is false i'm sorry that one's real how can i get both of them wrong i got the first one god aliens among us part three coming in 10 questions The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows.
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49:41Ethan Nestor:Alright, who kicked this off? Wade kicked this off. Let's do one more go around and we'll see who knows what. Wade, real or fake? We have an episode titled Emotional Support Vacuum. Fake. Final answer? Yes. You're correct. That is fake. Emotional Support Vacuum does sound pretty fake.
50:03Mark Fischbach:Yeah but it sounded too fake I was like that's so bad it could be real
50:08Ethan Nestor:That's what I was going for You read my vibe too Aggressively Alright Mark Mark we have real or fake We have an episode titled Wade's Hole I've had a few
50:21Mark Fischbach:Wade's Hole Oh is it put together hole or like an orifice hole I'm willing that's orifice Why would you bet that It's hole as in like hole in the ground I've had bad luck so far I'm gonna flip a coin Heads is real, tails is false I disagree with the coin So it must be true Wait, what? It's real, true, false, or fake I just wanted to see It's one of those things where you flip a coin You know what you really want in the air That's what I wanted to get And I got it So that's What did I say it was? You said true, I think? Yeah, it's real It's real Wade's hole
51:01Ethan Nestor:And I'm sorry that's a fake one. Why? Wow, I thought that was real too. Wouldn't that be one we would do? That does sound like one we would have done. I'm bad at this, guys. I'm really bad at this. I'm excited to see some of these made-up episodes come to life, though. I'm not gonna lie.
51:18Mark Fischbach:I gotta figure out what the fuck I'm gonna do for dumpster dads.
51:21Ethan Nestor:Well, anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and recap the points. In no particular order, I got one point for Dial 9-1 and wait. Mark earned points for Putin's favorites, crispy bites, egg gambit, all nighters, 20 questions at least, grandma's funeral, all the same person, acronyms but better, actually nothing and great hug off. wait you earn points for you far here plus arse equals hearse registered solicifenders cheesecake moist mind control giraffe episode thousand hour energy spaghetti laws bread is a conspiracy quantum boredom and emotional support vacuum score is tight gentlemen score is tight tight that's very tight but now we proceed to the wheel spins i gotta come or no i don't have to You got to come up with one, Chad.
52:18Ethan Nestor:You can come up with it if you want to. Do you have one? Let's start here. Let's see. Let's see. What does the wheel say? How many? That's what we want to know. All right. It's three again. Isn't that exciting? That's three chances to get the tie. It's the maximum amount of exciting we could have. To be honest, I do not have planned out what I'm going to add. I want to just type real or fake, but I don't know what that would mean. It's not a thing. Oh, I know. hosted previous episode it's a bonus for people who were already winners in recent memory but you do have to remember if you hosted the previous episode or not i feel like if we can't recall who hosted which does happen because sometimes there's gaps in recording then that's like a re-spin that's fair i like giving winners advantages you know and we get three wheel spins so number one is best looking.
53:14Ethan Nestor:I just showered. Do you just shower before every recording just to be sure? Hey, if it keeps my hygiene up, you know?
53:23Mark Fischbach:Dude, my ear is leaking. Medicine, I feel shitty and gross.
53:27Ethan Nestor:Yeah, Wade's been moving his headphone like a creep. Mark's definitely the best looking. Congratulations, Mike. Spin number two. Uh... I don't remember what this one means. It just says witness protection. What does that mean? I don't know. Okay, all right, let's try to think back. Oh, I remember. This is for whoever looks like they're in a completely undisclosed location. I think it was one time I was huddled over in a closet or something. Oh, yeah, when you were in that attic where it was an unfinished space. Well, we're all just in our normal offices, so I would call that a re-spin. It just says a witness protection.
54:16Ethan Nestor:Good job, past us. Don't use too many words or anything. Most distracted. I mean, my instinct always leans toward Wade on this one. He was distracted by his ear pain. I will give him that. There's a lot of movement. All right. Wade gets most distracted. I won't argue. You won't argue for you? I won't fight this one, guys. I won't fight this one. I won't fight this one. guys big one for the team here it's very brave of you hey the classic point for listeners it hasn't come up much at all that is that is kind of cool yeah i like how we we complained about that because we got it out lunch and then it just like stopped happening yeah then we got a tie a bunch i love that you have the history point for listeners point for viewers point for viewers point for listeners point for listeners that was twice in the same day too right back to back well you're back listeners there's your point well done listeners uh that settles the final score and of course that means that mark earned a final score of 11 points i earned a score of one tied for third place with the listeners also with the score of one and wade earned 13 points that means you win, Wade.
55:33Ethan Nestor:Good, because I wasn't listening. Did he miss a single one of these? He did really well, but that he did drop a couple later on in his answerings. It was pretty close. It was really good. If you had gotten the wheel spin that Wade got, we would have had a tie. That would have been nice. And then I would have been angry at the listeners for making that happen. But so it goes. Congratulations, Wade.
55:59Mark Fischbach:Winner speech. This was a fun one. I enjoy looking back on our history and seeing what we remember and what we don't and mostly don't because i really don't know what the hell we've done but i was prepared if bob's ice box or fridge came up i knew which one of those two was real probably i won't say which in case it comes up next time no spoilers
56:17Ethan Nestor:oh yeah there's six parts of this coming we have 400 episodes so there's a lot to get there don't worry we'll we'll be back to this fair enough uh mark uh loser speech uh it just goes to show I only pay attention during the episodes not after. I have not looked through the back catalog. I have not listened through. I have on occasion, I will say this in my own defense. Occasionally under strange circumstances I will listen to an episode that we've done in the past and it's always a good time. So I think that there's some good stuff back there but even then I don't pay attention to the name because we don't say it in the episode and it largely doesn't matter.
56:54So that's all the excuse I have.
56:57Ethan Nestor:Just like this one that's for some reason going to be called I farted during this episode. I'm sticking with that. That's the title for listeners and watchers. You've known that the whole time, but joy to us. Thank you, competitors, for competing. Wade, you'll be forking the next one because of your win. Make sure you follow Mark and Mark Plyer, Wade at LordMinion777 or Minion777. Me at my skirt. Our names are on the screen. If you're a watcher, that'll help you spell them. and yeah make sure you follow the podcast the little plus thing then you'll know it'll tell you when the thing comes out and you'll know to watch it merch definitely so soon six o's maybe even now it might already have happened well we gotta run some tests first thanks for listening thank you for watching slightly less take that watchers and that's the end podcast out
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