In This Game... Only Letters, Friends!

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16:02I have a game for you. Good. Guys, I have devised it. And by me, I mean Amy. Amy's devised this. Even better. In this game, only letters, friends. You are going to use the alphabet to help you survive death-defying scenarios that are going to risk your very existence. Now, the way that it's going to work, we're going to take turns. Both of you are going to go first, And the person who goes first gets to pick the letter. You don't know the scenario that you're in, but you get to pick the letter of the items you will choose to survive. It's a quick fire round. You use that letter to pick an item out of the air, and then it immediately goes to the next person as fast as you can, back and forth, bing bong, bing bong, bong.

16:52Same letter, and then I will write them down and judge which one of you actually helped yourself survive. It is possible that you both survive and pass the test and get a point that round. But otherwise, if you picked bad items because you're limited by the letter, you die, you don't get a point. Make sense?

17:14Ethan Nestor:Yeah, I like this. I don't think Wade knows very many words. I think I have a huge advantage here. I'll toss a coin to go first, or maybe I'll just be like the number one up there above me right now. Bob, you'll go first. And how it'll go is you'll pick a letter. And it can only be picked once. So I'm crossing letters off the alphabet as we go. Then I'll give you the scenario. And as soon as I give you the scenario, it's go time. You have to pick as fast as you can. I will dock points if you take too long or I'll cut you off if you can't.

17:44Mark Fischbach:Do we need to pick multiple items with the same letter or how many items do we get? One letter per round, five items. Yeah, so I will skip your turn, though, if you take too long and it'll go to the other person. So you could possibly lose out a chance to pick an item or the other person can snipe the item that you were going to pick. But it has to start with that letter. It can be multiple words, but it had the first word has to start with that letter. I won't let you say sentences of items. It has to be either one or two words. You can't say biggest bag of survival items that will help me in the scenario.

18:19I won't allow that. Can't do that. Okay. All right. You both understand how it goes. Do you need me to re-explain it, Wade?

18:26Mark Fischbach:No, I'll just watch Bob do it, and if he does it right I'll do what he does but wrong

18:29Ethan Nestor:We kind of have to do it at the same time, so I'm still feeling good about my chances Okay, yeah, that's good, this is looking good for you, Bob

18:35Mark Fischbach:Okay, hold on, then if we run at the same time, do we each pick our own letter then? No, no, it's the same letter The person who's going picks the letter I read them the prompt, I read both of you the prompt And then the person goes first, gets the first pick Has to be an item that starts with that letter Then the other person, same letter Okay, so we tend to leave ten items that start with that letter Because he'll have five, I'll have five Exactly, and then you can't say the same item You have to, uh, new items Five times, take too long I'm gonna skip ya Are you boys ready? Yes Alright, Bob, what is your letter?

19:12L L, great choice, I think

19:19Alright You alright?

19:21Ethan Nestor:Yeah, fine. What you've done if I said M?

19:26Mark Fischbach:Uh, d -

19:31How do I write that as a point?

19:35Ethan Nestor:H-U-H-U-U-H-U-U-H-U-A-H Oh, that would have been better. I was doing double O's. I think in uh -

19:45Mark Fischbach:I think in Lethal Company there was a mod I used where there was like an L dance. Whenever you said L, I immediately thought of the L dance. You thought of the L dance from Lethal Company and not Fortnite? I'm proud of you, man. That's good. I don't play Fortnite, so yes. Good boy. So it's L, and we're going to start with a simple one. These are all life or death scenarios. So if it doesn't feel as life or death as possible, you say the word, I'll make it more life or death. You both are falling out of an airplane. No parachute. Go. Long rope Long rope Okay, go Lift Lift? Alright Like a lift, like a ski lift You know, like a lift

20:28Ethan Nestor:Oh, like a whole ski lift

20:30Mark Fischbach:To catch me Bob

20:33Ethan Nestor:Light aircraft Okay, alright It's strapped to my back Stop, you can't say more Okay Wait A Lamborghini

20:41Mark Fischbach:A Lambo You got it Hopefully it's got good airbags Wingenberry jam Lingonberry jam Excellent choice Lipstick so I look my best when I die

20:58Bob Oh man Laser pointer Laser pointer Got it Wade Lake to land in

21:11Ethan Nestor:I'll even give you It's a landing lake But need I remind you Water at a terminal velocity It's still just as hard. All right, Bob, last chance. Oh, a launcher. A launcher? A me launcher. If I can't explain it, you'll have to just understand. It's a launcher. It can be a launcher of me, but not a me launcher. You watch yourself. Wade. Lisa. Lisa. Lo, lo, lo, lo, Lisa. You decided to take another person with you.

21:47Mark Fischbach:Lisa from the Simpsons. She'll have some good ideas. Maybe Lisa has a parachute we could share. You better ask. All right. So let me recap your choices. Bob, you have a long rope, light aircraft, Lingenberry jam, a laser pointer, and a launcher. Wade, you have a lift, a ski lift, a Lambo, a lipstick a lake lake and l-l-l-lisa

22:21Ethan Nestor:now l was harder than i thought it would be i have to be honest we did a couple test rounds it's very difficult all right so the ski lift i don't think i think it needs to be embedded in the ground to actually help you wade and a ski lift i would think would start with an S, but Lambo, not known for being very crash resistant, I don't think. Cool, though. Very cool. Very cool way to... You're gonna look great when you die. Lambo, lipstick, little Lisa in the passenger seat. Aim for the lake, babe.

22:59Mark Fischbach:Oh, look, there's a lift. We can go up and fall again. Is the goal of this to live? Yeah, the goal is to live Presumably, okay, yeah Okay, so because, Bob, you have a long rope, a light aircraft, Lingonberry Jam, laser pointer, and a launcher I mean, the light aircraft kind of wins you this one

23:18Ethan Nestor:Yeah, the rest of it was just for fun Lingonberry Jam is a snack, laser pointer to make other pilots blind and make them crash their planes while I'm flying my light aircraft You know, fun stuff You just point at Wade as he's going down so you just make sure he doesn't get it I make fun of Wade, I point at Wade, I point at where I think he's gonna land like Eh, eh

23:36Mark Fischbach:Lisa takes the wheel, I can't see I think I'll accept items that sabotage your opponent to make sure they die Cause it's, if you both survive, you both get a point But if the other one dies, he's gonna hit the lake Uses the launcher I'm calling it for Bob, that's a Bob point right there So you got the, you got the surviving However, I'm gonna make an additional rule here That's gonna make it even more difficult for you guys I'll explain it in just a second

24:02Ethan Nestor:I had a long rope, maybe I can say if you would Not Lisa, just you So that's what I'll say is the rule Adjectives The letter can't be an adjective Describing the actual item So long rope I would accept light aircraft Because that is a whole category of aircraft But long rope is just a longer rope So we'll make judgment calls I'll give you a second chance If that's what you come up with But we'll try to catch that So long rope is just a rope just like a ski a lift a ski lift would be a ski lift Not a lift lift. I would think it would be an elevator which might have helped no that wouldn't helped you at all No, actually love a der so Bob gets the first point there Wade you smack into the lake in a Lambo with Lisa and lipstick, but you look great.

24:49Oh Man, you're well your corpse is actually a mangled metal-infused mess and soggy, but if anyone had taken a picture of you moments before Before?

25:00Ethan Nestor:You're like, it's so good. Before, in fact, just super cool. Lisa's just...

25:07Mark Fischbach:But I hand her the lipstick after I use it, so she has a distraction. Alright, Wade, you get to pick your letter, and then I get to tell you your survival or death scenario. Perfect. Let's go with the letter B. Boys, you too. Some dictator has said that you're gonna die. You're on... You're against a wall. There is a firing squad in front of you and they are going to fire they're gonna count down three two one fire But you get B words to decide if you survive Wade go blocks All right, you could said bricks maybe but blocks all right

25:56Ethan Nestor:Bob Well I thought this I assume this one Wouldn't be on there but bulletproof vest Alright I'll take it bulletproof Cause I think that description is a Very specific type of vest I think that works Alright Wade A bomb

26:15You don't want to hit me do you Yeah I've got a bomb I'm gonna make sure it's a big round one with a big Wicca at the top Alright Bob. Bouncy ball. Bouncy ball. You got it. Wade. Bobcat. Bobcat. The vehicle or a cat? Cat. Send after them.

26:40Ethan Nestor:Alright Bob. No that's a good idea Wade. Bobcat. The skid steer though. The skid steer.

26:50Mark Fischbach:Alright Wade back to you. Blank slate. Blank slate. Alright, cool. Bob? Blades. Blades. Just the vampire or weapons? Weapons. Wade. Buildings. What the fuck? How many? Billions. Billions of buildings. That's the term of the B, right? It counts, yeah, alright. Yeah, this genie that takes you very literally. You get billions of buildings.

27:24Ethan Nestor:All right, Bob, last chance. Oh, Bill Clinton, Secret Service has to protect him. He has a Secret Service. He has a Secret Service detail for the rest of his life because he was president. All right, Bill Clinton. They wouldn't be cool with that. They'd help. All right. Okay. Wait. We don't have to recap, man. Suddenly blocks appear in a wall in front of you of what type? Lego bricks, I'm guessing. Uh, you have a bomb strapped to your chest. You have a cat, a bobcat, which is not that big of a cat, to be honest. Still scary if it runs at you. It would be. They have guns, though, so I think they'll be all right.

28:05You have a blank slate, um, so you just have a, like, a tab - a stone tablet with nothing on it. And then billions of buildings are falling on your head now. What kind of monkeys, Paul, wish? They're falling on my head. Well I mean you either spawn inside of them And you clip into the walls like that But yeah is this like inception

28:24Ethan Nestor:Or some shit or just Yeah the whole horizon just folding in With buildings I think I did okay Well the bomb Well you would have been maybe fine but the bomb really The bomb You got a bomb Does he get to choose is it on like a timer Or is it like a No it's a big one with a fuse It's lit Anyway, so wait, Bob Bulletproof vest, very good Not quite head protection, but it protects your core Which is where most of them aim for, I guess Yeah, they're gonna aim center mass, that's the strategy for The bouncy ball will distract Their aim, the bobcat A skid steer has like a full Cage on it, so you're kind of Inside that and a little more protected Blades for chopping The bullets out of the air, I'm guessing Yeah, yeah, Deadpool style from that X-Men movie, when he's all has no mouth and he's all creepy and he's all okay not from the Deadpool movie where he doesn't hit any of them he just gets shot a bunch yeah all right so I'm guessing uh I can't guarantee you that skill but you'll try I'll try yeah um and then Bill Clinton's there plus Secret Service probably yeah he's he's standing in between me and the firing squad and the Secret Service are like rushing in from the side so get down Mr.

29:41President and I'm like I'm with him now I would I would say that the buildings would be a problem for you, but you have a bobcat, which is a skid steer, and it does have a full cage. So if a building toppled on it, you're not guaranteed to survive. But with the bulletproof vest, the blades, and Bill Clinton, I think you live, man. I'm pretty sure. Can't shoot through Legos. Because they're still going to shoot at the end of it. They still shoot. Even if I have a bomb? Yeah, probably.

30:08Mark Fischbach:Have they never seen a movie?

30:13Mark Fischbach:Can't shoot the guy who has a bomb

30:15Ethan Nestor:Yeah it's too bad you can't explain Because it should be a bomb with a dead man trigger Where you're holding your hand out and you're all If my finger comes off this button Because then they'll get it Yeah doesn't it have to be No that's not commonly how that works That's a specific thing You have to fit the letter Alright back to you Bob You're both doing wonderfully but one is doing more wonderfully Than the other I was going to go one way or the other, depending on how this was going, and I feel like I'm going to regret this, but I choose Q. Q? Q. Damn. Bold. Q. All right. What a quandary. Quite the choice.

30:55Quack. Q. Third Q word. All right. Let's get into this. Both of your scenario. And you're in separate vehicles for this one, so you're not in the same car, unless you want to be in the same car. But given Wade's choices, I'm going to put you conveniently in separate cars. I appreciate that. Bob, you're and Wade, your car has driven off a bridge. There was ice on the road. You slid, bam, right dead center into a frigid frozen river. So not only has your car gone down through the top layer of ice, it is now under the ice. You have your windows are up Death defying scenario Almost guaranteed death under frozen river Your letter is Q Take it away

31:47Ethan Nestor:Well, this is the whole thing I was banking on for this And I'm gonna stick to my guns Even though I'm not sure how it helps I want a Quetzalcoatlus Quetzalcoatlus You have to be able to pronounce it You have to be able to pronounce it Quetzalcoatlus Quetzalcoatlus, okay Quetz, I have to look up what that is afterwards. We talked about it in my words in my one-man show. It's one of the animals. It's a dinosaur. It's a big flying dinosaur. Quetzel comments. Alright, I did not spell that right. Alright, Wade. Quickness. Quickness. Alright, you get quickness. You know, I'll give it to you. That works.

32:24Ethan Nestor:I want Quicksilver to save me. The Marvel character. Oh, the Marvel character. Wade? Oh, I have to go again. The queen The queen The queen

32:37Mark Fischbach:You get the band queen I'll take it Just gotta get out Just gotta get right out of here

32:49Mark Fischbach:That's a fucking good joke

32:55Ethan Nestor:I know Freddie I'm trying Oh man All right Bob back to you Uh uh uh uh Quest love What quest love Quest love isn't he the drummer From uh Uh uh that Isn't oh no yeah quest love He's a he's a drummer american musician Oh all right You got a drummer he's the drummer for the roots That's where I know him from cause it cause the roots were on yeah yeah yeah all right cool quest love drummer i got it wait oh no

33:37Mark Fischbach:queef so i have air queef so i have air queef so i have air my brain was just like don't say queef don't say queef for air

33:58Ethan Nestor:All right, Bob back to you I would like a quality in motel Maybe at the bottom of the river there's a quality in I'm not sure somewhere some haunted In that sank into the river many moons ago. Okay, gotcha. Wade oh Oh, a quillfish. I'm going to assume that's a real fish. It's a Pokemon. It's a Pokemon. You're right. You're right. Oh, the Pokemon. Quillfish. My loyal Pokemon will help me get out. I'm assuming it's a water-based Pokemon. That actually could help you. Okay, that might be good.

34:37Mark Fischbach:The original version. Then there's a Lolan or something that's like poison. Stupid. All right, Bob, last choice.

34:43Ethan Nestor:I'm not stealing from Wade, but maybe this was sparked by that. I want a quill. The Star Lord himself, Quill Oh, Peter Quill? Yeah, but they just call him Quill a lot Or anyway, Gamora does, right? Where's Quill? Where's Quill? Okay, is that true, Wade? Do they call him just Quill? They do Alright, okay, I'll give you that Quill, Star Lord Quill Okay, Wade, last chance

35:06Mark Fischbach:Quill, like the feather so I can write my last will and testament Hey,

35:12Ethan Nestor:don't take my ideas Don't take my ideas

35:25Alright, okay, so a lot of this depends on what's a Quetzalquantus? It's a big flying dinosaur Okay, how big are we talking? Oh, that's big It's fairly large I think it's like the biggest one Okay, so your car explodes because there's suddenly a Quetzal Godless spawning inside. So all the doors come off, which is, you know, you do got to get the doors off. You have Quicksilver, which I think, honestly, that's a huge get because if he knows where you are, he can get you and get you out before the hypothermia sets in. You have Questlove. I'm assuming Quicksilver has to choose between one of you.

36:08Ethan Nestor:Bob? He might like Questlove more than me I mean, look, I'm not gonna speak for Quicksilver But that's okay, because I brought backups He's very fast, so I guess he might be There's a quality in somewhere down there in the river Isn't Quicksilver the one who Isn't that scene in the mansion Where he saves like 40 people in the X-Men mansion While the whole thing explodes, isn't that

36:32Mark Fischbach:I'm pretty sure yes Oh, I was thinking of Silver Surfer this whole time You're talking about the fast dude

36:37Ethan Nestor:No, Quicksilver is the X-Men, and he helps Magneto break out of jail.

36:43Mark Fischbach:And he's the one that does like slow, like, yeah, time moves slow. There's actually two Quicksilvers in the Marvel Universe, because there's the MCU one, and then there's the Fox X-Men one. The Fox X-Men one is faster, and that is the one you picked out, the X-Men one. He is faster and has more feats of rescuing people, specifically rescuing people. So I think without a question, you survive, Bob. The question is whether Cuz, Wade, you have quickness. You have quickness. Oh, dude, my I'm not gonna like my heart's not gonna stop. Don't stop me now

37:23You have queen quickness Queefs as many queefs as you need for air You're air You have quill fish and a quill a feather. Let me look up what quill fish is But a balloon a balloon Pokemon What oh like a blowfish that's kind of what you want It's also poisonous so grabbing on to it is gonna be it's very spiky Yeah, maybe we just do mouth-to-mouth. I don't think you want to do mouth-to-mouth with it I'm not sure why you would offer that up as your first choice. Air.

38:01Ethan Nestor:You already have air. You have all the air you need. Don't forget about your queefs. It's literally 0.5 meters in height. It's one foot ball when inflated and covered in spikes. That would probably, if you like grabbed onto the tail. Okay, there is a tail. I got to look up whether 8.6 pounds of buoyancy is enough to lift you out of the river. I've also got quickness. And you're quick.

38:27Mark Fischbach:And think of Freddie Mercury's lungs singing underwater, pushing me out. And all the queefs, you know, all the queefs. Dude, yeah, there's a lot of buoyancy.

38:35Ethan Nestor:As you float away with your queefs and quillfish, Freddie Mercury's sitting on the bottom of the river, just like,

38:40Mark Fischbach:I want to ride my bicycle. We are the champions. I'm going to give you a 50-50 shot. How about that's the best I can do for you on this? Because it's like you have some things working for you, but this is a death-defying scenario. You have one Pokemon, but even in the Pokemon world, I can imagine an episode where Ash is in a frozen river like, Help! And Quillfish isn't able to save. Heads, you survive. Tails, you don't. Oh! Oh! Heads! Yes! You made it! That's right, bitches! All right, you get that. Her Majesty Queen! You, yes. You, yes. I'm not more sure why I'm saying it like that. Yes, you win.

39:22You survived, Wade. Congratulations. Bob you also survived so you both get a point going out of the round. Alright. Never a doubt. Oh, this is so much fun. I'm having so much fun guys. This is great. It is back to you Wade. You're going first which means you get to pick the letter. There's so many letters to choose from. Reminder B, L, and Q have been already selected.

39:41Ethan Nestor:I know you wanted to jump on Q.

39:43Mark Fischbach:I know that's a hot one. Oh, don't worry Bob. I'll get back to you with the letter Z. Oh shit. Alright. Are you sure? Oh yeah. Are you sure he wants to play games? I'm gonna lose now with my own hard letter That'll teach us. All right, you two are lost in Whatever forest this animal that's stalking you is in you have Just the clothes on your back and these items that you have brought with you Starting with the letter Z and you are being stalked by three and a half panthers in the middle of the night I'll let you decide which half is that last one too bad for that half guy Half panthers really not not pulling his weight here, but uh just the top half that way.

40:30Mark Fischbach:There's no legs. Yeah There are well, I mean it's kind of all legs right? Yeah Oh, I see just a worm That would be terrifying a panther just All right, there's there's three panthers in one snake panther coming after you yes Wade as a reminder in case you forgot your letter is Z No, I'm going to take the easy one here. The zebra. The zebra. Okay. All right. Either to ride me out or distract them. I see. I see. Okay. I can see the wisdom. Bob.

41:01Ethan Nestor:I would like my Zeppelin, please. Great choice. Great choice, man. Get right out of that room. The band or the blimp? No, no. The rigid airship. The Zeppelin. Well, a Zeppelin. It's a kind of rigid airship. I'm not sure if there's enough room to deploy it, but we'll see. We'll see.

41:20Mark Fischbach:Zendaya, because I know Spider-Man will be there to help her Zendaya the actress Yes, is going to be there Because they're banking on Spider-Man showing up Great, okay Probably has like a bodyguard

41:38Ethan Nestor:I'm bringing my own, Zen I choose Zenyatta from Overwatch Damn, that's a good one Zenyatta, this is a great stack up This is good Alright, Zenyatta practically flies a big robot and deadly. Very good. He fart hovers. Does he? He sits cross-legged but hovers so I always considered him to be a fart hoverer. He's got the unlimited queef power. I was the Zenyatta main back in the day so I love that dude. It was fun. Alright, wait.

42:09Mark Fischbach:Zipper to zip the trees together so the panthers can't get through. Zipper. Big zipper. okay you get one big zipper you zip up two of the trees out of the millions and billions of trees i'll take it all right bob back to you uh not at all stealing an idea from wade from the last round

42:32Ethan Nestor:i choose zapdos zapdos all right okay all right the the lightning flying pokemon zapdos one of the three trilogy of, what are those things? What's that called? The blue eyes, white dragon of Pokemon, or whatever they are. What are those things? The legendary birds? Those ones. The legendary birds. Yeah, whatever. I don't know the lore

42:56Mark Fischbach:that well. Wade! Well, I choose the move Zap Cannon, so I have a 33 % chance of hitting. Zap? But if it hits, it really damages. Alright, okay, alright, okay, okay. It's fine. It's fine. All right.

43:14Ethan Nestor:All right. Bob, back to you. I know lots of stuff that starts with Z. I'm just trying to pick which one I want. Well, you got a limited time. I choose ZZ Tops. ZZ Top. The whole band? All of them. Hopefully they're on a tour bus or something. Are they all still alive? I do not know. They are quite old, but I have no idea. Well, if they aren't alive, if any of them aren't alive, their dead body will show up. Girls go crazy about a sharp-dressed man.

43:45Mark Fischbach:Zoe Saldana, who plays Gamora. Oh. Yeah, but not Gamora. Not Gamora. But she knows how to be Gamora. You brought two actresses out into the middle of there. They're just standing there like, why have you done this? Zoe Saldana. And I still say, it's Avengers, it's a symbol. They're like.

44:09Ethan Nestor:All right, okay. Bob back to you man I have so many words just rushing through my head I choose zero point which is the ultimate ability of the agent KO from the game Valorant which disables which disables characters abilities when they're hit with it what is the panther's ability I don't know speed biting whatever whatever abilities they have they can't do nothing all they can do is slowly walk around and be all i'm disabled temporarily i think their their best ability is that they are black at night so they're almost invisible so they turn white i'll say they like invert so they're really easy to spot it's also cool because it's like a throwing knife thing you're all good he says something cool and then he's all all right man you have stacked up the powers Bob.

45:06You got a Zeppelin to get out of there, so you not only get out, you get home. You got Zenyatta, who's probably, let's just assume he only takes one of them down which it's Zenyatta. He can also heal. He's primarily a healer. Uh, Zapdos which is literally like a giant electrical bird.

45:25Ethan Nestor:Unless the Panthers are ground type. Oh, that's true. Are Panthers ground type? They seem more like I assume, maybe? They seem more like normal type to me. Or dark. Probably dark. Maybe dark. I can see dark. Maybe, yeah. All right. ZZ Top is there playing music, and then zero point this ability from Valorant. I'm going to just go on a limb and say you're going to survive the three and a half Panthers pretty easily. All right. Maybe with a couple scratches, unlike me. Yeah. Well, wait. Don't be too shocked, because you have a Zebra, which, very easy target for a Panther. That takes one of the panthers away.

46:02Ethan Nestor:Wait, why he just has bait to feed the panthers? You have Zendaya. There's a zebra and two other people to feed the panthers. You have Zoe Saldana who keeps eating one of their panthers. But the problem is I said three and a half panthers. Oh, don't worry. I can account for that. You've got a zap cannon. What the fuck was zap cannon again?

46:30Mark Fischbach:It's a move that like does crazy damage, but I think it's only got like a 33 % chance to hit.

46:40Ethan Nestor:So presumably it would kill half of a panther. Okay, it's 33 % which, but it's half a panther so it's slower. Look man, the zipper ain't gonna help you. I think this is still a 50-50 shot. I'm not. But the bait really got your numbers down. The bait really worked. Yeah, I didn't see the vision until just now. That makes so much sense. How it weighs on your conscience, I don't know. How's that feel, Wade? Is that okay? Do you live with that? I've already forgotten about it. All right. Let's see if you're going to keep forgetting about it. Oh, no. Uh-oh. That looks like a head. No, that's a tails.

47:19Mark Fischbach:Unfair! Unfair? Okay, he called unfair. On that coin flip you call unfair? That's the thing?

47:25Ethan Nestor:Yes. Okay. So if it's unfair, obviously you survive. It overturns it. But if it's doubly fair, you lose a point. Deal. Deal. All right, here we go. Bonk. Wham! Heads. Ah, so close. So close, man.

47:45Mark Fischbach:Unfair times two? Listen, we're going to have to add some stuff to the Constitution if you want to do that. All right. Sorry, Wade. It didn't work out for you. Man, half a panther away. That's honestly really close. That's pretty good. That was really close, man. You almost made it out. I should have brought a zigzagoon instead of a zipper. More bait. Yeah, more bait. Yeah, man. All right. Okay. The quillfish. It's French. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything. Even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons?

48:26Mark Fischbach:Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up. Flip the sip.

48:44Ethan Nestor:Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweet Green's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweet Green app. All right, Bob, back to you. What is your letter? C. C. Good choice. Not quite. Crap. Cunning. Cement. Hey, stop taking my words! I don't know how to give encouragement with the C word. Cool choice, comrade. Uh, cool choice. Cool choice, comrade. Okay, that's good. Okay. Gentlemen, you have gone on a shopping trip, but this shopping trip has gone horribly, horribly awry.

49:39You are dead center in the middle of the world's largest IKEA, and unfortunately the building has caught on fire. You're in the maze-like areas of IKEA. Everything's flammable, super flammable actually. The sprinkler system is out. You either have to escape or die in the flames. The letter is C. Bob is going first whenever you're ready.

50:07Ethan Nestor:I don't know what it does, but I choose a Class C fire extinguisher. I feel like that's an adjective But it's a specific kind of fire extinguisher There's A through D and K And there's Class C fire Apparently it is involved in putting out Electrical equipment fires such as motors Suppliances and power tools But it is still just generally a fire extinguisher Wade how do you feel about that one It doesn't sound like it'll be that useful So let him have it Alright class C specifically class C fire extinguisher You got it Wait, carpet comma magic to fly out on.

50:47Mark Fischbach:There's two C's in there. If he gets fire extinguisher, why can't I have a carpet? If you could say chaw magic or something like that, maybe. But this is bending the rules quite a bit, guys. I let him bend. All right, I'm going to give you a carpet, and I'm going to put parentheses magic. I won't tell you what kind of magic. That's fine.

51:10Ethan Nestor:All right Bob back to you. I would like a Civic please Civic all right cooler car

51:23Not cooler car both with C's I think it works it so he gets a cooler car than you

51:27Ethan Nestor:That's it. That's just a cool. It's a key can have a car. He doesn't get to have a cooler car That's an adjective. Well the car is also a C It's because the adjective works with this one because they're both C So it's he he's specifying just what type of all right. He gets a car Just any car. I will literally pick a random car out of a random car generator. That's what you get. All right, Bob I choose commander Keen commander Keen Who is that? It's a side-scrolling platformer game developed by id software okay alright commander keen I choose commander keen he'll save us uh huh sure wade claptrap claptrap from borderlands he actually does almost always kind of help he does he does he's helpful uh bob a carrier uh I'll let you interpret that however you might it might be an ikea bag but You know, we'll see where the cards land.

52:34All right. Wade, cougar. Also to interpretation. We'll see where the cards land. You got a cougar. All right. Okay, Bob, last choice.

52:45Ethan Nestor:Oh, man. I'm already so safe. You know what? I'll just have a snack. Cord dog.

52:52Mark Fischbach:All right. Wade, last chance. Wow. Wow. Ooh. You were so fast, Bob. Chewing gum. Chewing gum. Chewing gum.

53:01Ethan Nestor:Hey, you could have another double C if you go the other route. I accidentally did. Chewing gum. He's got it. No, no, no. That's what you get.

53:10Mark Fischbach:I don't want that. Gum. Well, I wouldn't allow that because it's just like all gum is chewing for chewing. I don't know. The rule. Okay. I don't even know. Next time I'm going to be super strict. Only single words. That's what I'll say. Only one word. World's perfectest letters. All right. Okay. All right. Listen, you guys are messing it up Alright, classy fire extinguisher That's good, that helps you I think that would at least get you one Room away That would be some progress, right? It would make some progress You have a Civic I'm assuming that's a Honda Civic You could probably pass through a wall or two Commander Keen

53:50Ethan Nestor:Commander Keen is an 8 year old boy With an IQ of 314 He's a brilliant inventor He's built a spaceship He's built the Bean with Bacon Mega Rocket As well as other devices out of household materials And he's known for traveling around on his pogo stick Which he discovered on Mars Allowing him to perform incredible high and far jumps That let him reach inaccessible areas Holy shit

54:19Mark Fischbach:He didn't perform incredibly enough to have a game in the last 24 years Well, either way, that pogo stick might jump you out of there, I guess There's multiple levels to this IKEA But I'm assuming that it could help Carrier I'm gonna say that's not an aircraft carrier I'm gonna say that's some kind of a Thing to carry things But still, you have a corndog Between the fire extinguisher The Civic to drive Through walls and Commander Keen With a 300 IQ I'm thinking you get out

54:50Ethan Nestor:I think all I needed was Commander Keen We're an IKEA surrounded by home goods that's his that's his materials now wade you have a carpet magic i there is a moment in aladdin where the carpet catches a little bit on fire but much like the fire extinguisher i think that gets you progress towards the exit but not full pause i need to pull up a random car generator to see what car you get a hyundai elantra also good that's fine that's a nice compact car that's fine. Bam! Through a few more walls, and then, okay, you have Claptrap. Now, Claptrap's benefit is Claptrap is metal, has one wheel, has some weapons, I think, generally speaking.

55:36Can be zappy. He zaps. You have a cougar. Is this an older woman, or is this the cat? Leave it to the coin. Oh, alright, okay. Heads, cat, tails, madam? Yes. that's tails okay so you have a uh older but attractive female companion and plenty of chewing

56:01Mark Fischbach:cum i think i i think that if there's fire on the way out i use her as another rug you feed her to

56:10Ethan Nestor:the fire just like you feds and die into the jaguars there we go ladies out there never accompany me into a disaster zone oh man all right i think you do make it because the carpet gets you pretty far i think farther than the fire extinguisher the car is equivalent you bash through there and claptrap not quite as smart as commander keen but has some utility so besides you look really cool chewing your chewing cum flowing on the way out of the fire really well done i think you live oh man but at what cost at what cost only nobody really knows evidence burned up in the fire all right we only got through five um letters i'm shocked uh i had a bunch more prompts but we are fortunately out of time uh to do any more keep track of what letters

56:57Mark Fischbach:we use though so if we do it again we don't have to use those again i got it'll stay in my notebook here um so i'm gonna read the the letters i'm gonna read the points that you got bob be ready

57:09Ethan Nestor:to be surprised what do you mean man there's anybody's game out here oh man all right bob You get why wet point dizzy from scream you won you survived falling out of an airplane you survived every scenario I just realized that you survived everything. I I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna give up You survived falling of an airplane you survived being executed by firing squad you survived being in a car in a frozen river you survived three and a half Panthers at night and And the fire in the world's largest IKEA. Wade, you got a sleeping point. You tossed some football around. Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.

57:55That's what I wrote. I don't remember what that was. Three, scenario three, which is Car and Frozen River, and scenario five, which is world's largest IKEA. So, oh yeah. So with Bob, you have seven points going into the final round, and Wade, you have five points. still within the wheel of possibility. And there's a chance.

58:15Mark Fischbach:We've not seen sudden death in at least one episode. Yeah, yeah, that won't come up again. I'll put on the wheel, like, put nah, I'd live. What's that mean? For the survivor, like, who is the best, who lived? Put will to live, the will to live. Because if any of you are just like, I give up, or something in the episode, that'll be will to live. All right, how many spins we doing?

58:38Ethan Nestor:How many? Come on, one Alright Alright, there's still a chance Sudden death Sudden death Our golf rules The wheel would never pull golf rules again on me It would never pull golf rules I see, surprise golf rules These are really getting jammed in here, these long And here's the one spin. Come on! Daddy needs a new pair of wins. Oh, happiest contributions. I will say that might be Wade, because you were dizzy from a scream, and then you were complaining about the weather being wet. He slept, even though he was sick. He slept, and he tossed a football. And he went, oh, and his suggestions made me laugh a lot.

59:31So I'm going to give you that point. So, but unfortunately Wade, that puts you at 6 Oh man, that was a close game So close Yes, it was a close game And in this game, only letters, friends Only letters, friends Was written at the top I-T-G-O-L-F It golf Golf rules What? From the very beginning, this was a golf rules episode

59:57Ethan Nestor:Oh, Mark did surprise golf rules Huh? In this game only letters, friends. I said that at the beginning, in the opening of this entire episode, as the name of the game, It Golf. Wade wins with the lowest number of points. I'm mad about that, but just because I'm curious, if we had gotten surprise golf rules on the wheel, would that have flipped it back? It would have flipped it back, yeah. It would have flipped it right back.

1:00:26Mark Fischbach:That would have been the most painful loss of my career.

1:00:33Mark Fischbach:Can you imagine getting that with the one spin and then having it taken away because the rules were already?

1:00:39Ethan Nestor:No, imagine absolutely having luck dictate that you're the winner of an episode and then having the golf rule spin come up and steal it away from you. Who could that happen to? Who indeed? That might be the most painful loss of your career win, but we'll never know how that feels. That's a shame. That is.

1:01:06Anyway, masterful performance, Bob. Masterful. What a survivor. You did so good. And by the sheer technicalities of I'm going to throw a curveball in here. You don't know how long I was like, how do I hide golf in the name of this thing?

1:01:25Mark Fischbach:Easy, just read words and we won't pay attention. You know, I probably could have been that easy because I was like, Like, uh, uh, game of letters? Freedom. Game of letters? Fun. Game of letters? Feelings. I was really trying to figure out how to do that, but in this game, only letters friends is what I came up with. Congratulations, Wade. You, by the sheer cosmic forces that surround you, uh, win.

1:01:49Ethan Nestor:For some reason, unfair was already called, so I guess there's not even anything I can do about it. No, sadly, sadly.

1:01:56Mark Fischbach:Hell yeah, I really thought this through stupidly somehow. You know, Mark, great game. Bob and I picked some of the not easiest letters to work with. Some that we thought would be easier ends up being harder than expected. But, you know, I got to give credit where credit is due. Zendaya, Zakougar, Zoe Saldana, thank you for your sacrifices. They didn't help, but somehow they did.

1:02:20Ethan Nestor:They did help. They just didn't do it all. They contributed a lot to that scenario, really. They could have contributed just a little more. Not worth it. So, you know, for me. Anyway, thank you. Bob, I'm, uh, I am sorry about this one. I almost thought about not doing it, but I did plan that from the beginning. You know what? I do understand it, because we have to manufacture ways where Wade is allowed to win by not paying attention to anything, at least some of the time.

1:02:48Mark Fischbach:Whoa. I was paying attention today.

1:02:50Ethan Nestor:I just thought - We have to work that in, or he would just never win anything. So, I get it. You know, I get it. Don't hate the player. Hate the game. I'm not in the game. I'm I'm respecting the game. Oh, I'm just kidding you fuck anyway I lose and wait host the next one hooray Alright, well, thank you guys so much. If only we had rebuttals in these losers

1:03:21Ethan Nestor:You want to come over and have a catch though throw ball throw ball.

1:03:25Mark Fischbach:Yeah, new winner speech. Thanks mark This is the first episode we've done since the, what, the couch episode. Real good to be hanging out together again. We've done two episodes since the couch episode. I don't count either one of them.

1:03:41Listen, listen, listen. I'm glad this is the most divisive episode possible, but I thank Amy for coming up with the idea. That was very fun. You guys did great. I appreciate both of you. But unfortunately, one is the winner. All right. Thank you. But you know who's the winner? You at home, listening and or watching. Both of you did equally good, I'm assuming. All both of our listening watchers? The listener and the watcher. Thank you. Thank you for being here all the way to the end. Hope you enjoyed it. Follow the podcast and stay up to date with it. We do two a week. Don't know if you knew that.

1:04:15And if you haven't told your friends about it, don't do it. Don't tell your friends and family about this podcast. Thank you. Thank you, Bob and Wade. That was very funny. And have a good day. Podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.

1:04:36Ethan Nestor:Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app.

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