Let's Get Deep

23:22Wade:I don't know if Mark was done, but let's cut him off. Wade, what did you forget? Sure. Bald! I put on sunscreen. And man, I don't know, something happened where the sunscreen and my sweat... I don't have hair. There was no absorption. So it all just ran and dripped and got in my eyes. And my eyes were blood red all evening last night. So now I understand why bald wear headbands. Sweat has to go somewhere. You never learned that lesson? When you had hairs, did you just put sunscreen on your forehead like an animal? Well like for swimming and stuff I put sunscreen on my face But on your forehead and it never ran into your eyes Because I get that all every time That's why you should wear hats No no not like for some reason Yesterday was a whole new level Of drippy clumpy sunscreen Alright And I realized that because my eyes were really gunky Today and I was like man why were my eyes so gunky And it's probably because they were rejecting everything That got in them yesterday So bald headband I get it Now back to your regularly scheduled Mark computer issues.

24:27That was it for the computer issues. We got it working eventually. And we were testing out some audio. That's amazing. And it sounded really good. That's good. The walls were untreated. We didn't even have like soundproofing on the walls. It was super echoey. But I was shocked. Like this is an entry level package. All in all, if you already had a computer, you could set up a Dolby Atmos mixing area. If you had a computer and a monitor, let's consider that. The whole package, you'd think it would be like tens of thousands and probably like people would quote that, was on Sweetwater, whatever, whatever your favorite audio product shopping location is, pay me money, pay us money.

25:09Does that make you feel better? Pay us money. Yeah. It was total$5 ,500 for the entire package, everything we needed. That's way less than I would guess for anything remotely film-making related. That's that's pretty good Right for a home theater setup. This was what you needed as well If you wanted to have a full-on home theater at most ready setup with like overhead speakers And let me tell you like when it was actually doing the demo was going around you I was like, oh fuck. I'm in a movie theater This is exactly what it was like when you're at the beginning of movie theaters like you're watching it You know when it's doing all those yeah, it felt like that I was like, holy shit, this worked.

25:50I can't believe it worked. Holy hell. And obviously, it costs money because we bought the insulation that goes in the walls. And XLR cables. Those are not always as cheap as you think they are. For good ones, you know, you got to get like the gold-plated nonsense and really high quality cables means, you know, less noise on the transmission. But that might be a few extra hundred dollars into the project. And then the time it takes to set it all up. But it was really cool. I was really happy with it. I was fan. And honestly, like, we actually fell back from Windows to Sam's, like, M1 MacBook. It was all running off of his MacBook.

26:25Nice. The first generation M1 MacBook. So it was really cool. I'm very pleased with that. That's fun.

26:33Wade:I'm glad it worked. I'm shocked with what you were describing. I don't know that I would ever gotten it to work. It was a pain in the ass. It was really stupid. Apparently, they left it up to, like, computer manufacturers to put the Dolby codex in there. For those that don't know, a codec is just the language interpretation for a certain file format, right? So like most video formats, there's a codec to it. Like MP4, it's just like how that is packaged so you can interpret how something packaged. So Dolby Atmos packages, it's data in a certain way, and it's how they interpret it. I wonder why Windows got rid of that.

27:07Wade:That, of all things, feels like something that they would keep. Is it a licensing fee thing? Like they were like, we're not paying them anymore, so we'll just not put it in? It has to be. I guarantee, yeah. Because it probably was like a dollar per Windows license or something like that. Or maybe even a few cents. And they were like, oh, no, no way. So, yeah, that's all I got. I mean, I have many more interesting things. Wait, did you forget any other bald things you want to talk about? Boy, no. All right.

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29:19Well, shall we move on to my game? I mean my topic. The greatest listener game that anyone's ever listened to. Guys, we're doing a new tier list. Everyone always loves tier - Yes! Ohhhh! We have it in a while. No Are we not? Wait, is that a joke? God, I was actually excited Come on, man You were excited for a tier list? I was excited, yeah!

29:42Wade:Shit, Bonnie's S tier Shit, Bonnie's S tier I enjoy tier lists I like tier lists It's just our stupid audience doesn't like it, you know? I will say I said it Tier lists and the subreddit are written down on my notes for this episode idea But we'll get to those Interesting Stupid, smelly, on-my-side audience Yeah, wait, wait, wait That's why they're on my side They don't know any better I see, I see, right, okay This game is called Let's Get Deep And that's right, Wade I'm stealing your philosophy I know philosophy has exclusively been your purview on this show Oh, I thought you were stealing my pickup lines That didn't work Philosophy's better Is that a pickup line you've tried before?

30:27Let's Get Deep? Never works What's the best case scenario with that? Yes. Got it. Okay. Yes? Wow. Yeah. Yeah, well, I could see why it doesn't work then. Anyway, the premise is simple. I put all the work on your guys' plates, and I'll just sit here and laugh at it. I'm going to say, let's get deep about blank, and I have a whole list of things. And then I want you guys to give me your best deep philosophical take about whatever thing that I've given you. These might all be things that we've talked about on previous episodes. That might be topics that I'm literally just stealing from episodes we've done.

31:02So you might hopefully you'll have thoughts about them. Maybe you'll have references Maybe it will be awful. I'm just interested to see how deep you guys are And it's allowed to be like the kind of deep that you get when you're drunk sitting on the floor of your friend's apartment at 3 in the morning Okay, so is this supposed to replicate that meme with Jesse and Walter White where Jesse's like, you know, you know showers aren't a thing and Walter was like what are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about Jesse? You know you know that meme? You know the meme kind of yeah, no Come on come on guys, please memes.

31:36No, I know the meme. It's kind of supposed to replicate that. Yeah, okay

31:41Wade:So we're the showers guys. Yeah, okay, you guys take showers No, the shower was an exam. I was a bad example. I can pull it wait. No, I'll pull up the meme Jesse Walter meme Make sure to show it to our listeners. No, I'm gonna read it out loud for them. Oh, good boy. Okay, I got first one that came up. Yo, Mr. White, this scene isn't actually like this. God fucking damn it. What do you mean, it's an anti-meem. Fuck me. Like in the actual show, the conversation doesn't go this way. You don't actually say, Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about? Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about? Okay, hold on.

32:18Hold on. No, I'm there with you. I can see it. Nothing's better than reading memes aloud for people at home.

32:26Wade:This is how memes were meant to be consumed. At least you're reading them in different voices so we know which character's which. Okay, here we go. Yo, Mr. White. Fuck. Do you want to know what I've just realized? What is it now, Jesse? Okay, so we've been sitting here for weeks discussing weird D &D concepts, but we've been in this diner for a while now, and I'm getting mad hungry. Fuck, that's actually a good point, Jesse Waiter, could we get a pair of coffees And some blueberry pancakes for table four? Why am I only getting the anti-means? What the fuck is this? What the fuck?

33:07Wade:I'm enjoying this very much Yo, can we get a pair of coffees? Yo, Mr. White, a year should have 13 months What? I literally can't read the rest because it's fucking two pixel JPEG and there's too much text I'm not lying it's a fucking this is all that's coming up oh listeners you guys getting this I'll show you this one guys I have a new idea for today's episode I want you guys to just find the best memes you can and read them and describe them for the listeners I need to show you this Because it is just It's so fucking This is how big it was What the hell I can't read that If we had 10 13 months instead of 12 Every month would be 30 days Exactly 30 days No 28 days Oh yeah That first would always Be a Monday And the would be a Sunday Is that true?

34:21Wait, is that actually true? I have no idea if that's true. I don't even know what you said. The first of the month would always be a Monday and the 28th, the last day of the month would always be a Sunday. Wait, 28 times 13. Oh, interesting. That's how math works, right? Well, that's because 7 times, yeah, 7 days. I guess 28 divides by seven so that would be so 28 times 13 would be 364 days right and i think i've heard of this before where they make new year's day its own separate day oh it doesn't have a month it's just a day it doesn't have a month it doesn't have a week day of the week it is just new year's day damn i've heard of this this idea and i'm like hey actually that's not a bad idea and then leap day comes along as like the antithesis for new year's day and it's some weird nebulous day if new year's day is just a day it can be however long we want maybe new year's day is 24 hours and 18 seconds long and so you just absorb leap day into new year's day for the time recalibration there all right i'm gonna go deep on this yes i know this isn't no i like this is exactly basically what I meant probably.

35:34Here's the thing. People need to understand that days, months, we made them up. No. There's no law that says things need to be divided by months, days, even minutes or seconds. That's just something we all agreed on as a level of time. You remove all that and most people would fall apart because they can't have, they need the structure. And if you pull away the structure beneath their feet, they would collapse into a puddle we could have 13 28 day months everything could start on monday we could have 18 day weeks and that would be the normal 28 13 day months that also is a possibility that would be fun that'd be interesting that would be interesting yeah it's like it all of it doesn't even really coincide with the seasons that are natural anyway but the seasons aren't even the same for everybody australia's seasons are upside down snow goes up it's fucking weird that's true whenever they open

36:29Wade:their freezers. They gotta be real careful. They're seeing it. Yeah, that's true. And their clocks spin in the opposite direction. It's true. It's true. Yeah, actually. And that's why they don't say Ron Wah. They say all Gnar. Poop comes out their mouth. Ron Wah, indeed. Do I get a point? What does Ron Wah mean? Oh yeah, you got points for that. Okay, cool. There are points in there. Yeah, what does Ron Wah mean? All Gnar, but American. Ar Gnar? Ron Wah? Is that the Australian Shining?

37:02I guess it'd be Ron War That would be Ronar

37:07Wade:I don't know how backwards The mother closes the mirror And it just says Arnar Arnar

37:20Wade:Ronar No Ron Ron We need to talk Ron Damn it Ron R. Why is R backwards so hard for me? I don't know. You made it up. You did the thing. It's your thing. Ron-rah. Ron-rah. Points? I don't know who gets points for any of this, but this is what I was hoping would happen. Hmm. Good, good. I don't know even what did happen. Somehow we got the Jesse Pinkman and now we're in Australia. We got there because Mark understood the assignment. And so anyway, I have a list of things that I want you guys to get deep about Give me some deepness, some depth even It doesn't have to be like Mariana's Trench But as deep as you dare to go Let's get deep about And Wade, you can go first since Mark's killing it right now Okay Let's get deep about the Ginger Dead Man Alright The Ginger Dead Man has come up recently again The Ginger Dead Man I just brought him up Even before this it came over like on stream for me the other day.

38:23Wade:I don't know why the ginger dead man Has stuck around and become such a thing and its origins Relatively simple. It's just a holiday horror monster guy that to me wasn't that great He was a little bit divisive and definitely derisive And yet there's something just fun about the pun I feel like if we're gonna talk about why the ginger dead man is stuck because gingerbread ginger dead the bread dead pun Is just it's golden You know it's a golden pun Whenever one of us comes up with a pun we're like Oh we gotta share our pun and then we Hate everyone else's pun yeah but Ginger dead for whatever reason is a pun We all accept is a good one And therefore we overlook The kind of shittiness that is the ginger Dead man movie because we're like ginger dead man What a fun thing to say Dead bread Got it I see what you're getting at Yeah it is a good pun you're right Was that your point?

39:19Wade:Yeah I'm just I'm here we were starting a conversation I didn't want to hijack the whole thing Unless I'm supposed to hijack the whole thing You can hijack it I mean you're trying to beat each other So you don't have to set Mark up But I feel like you offered him an entree Mark Give me something deep about the ginger dead man If baked goods Can come to life by putting them in an oven Then Is cremation A form of necromancy? Where is the life coming from in this fire, right? Because you've got the ginger dead man, which suggests that any baked good could become I mean, in the world of ginger dead man, you've got living bongs.

39:56I'm not gonna go there. But you could go into there. I'm gonna go in there. We're going in there. Glassblowing is another form of heat creating life. Yep. With this living bong, right? Mm-hmm. So in this universe, heat makes life, right? Yeah? That's the rule that we just established. Okay. So then Then what this suggests is that heat is the source of life. This is the most true form of Gaia, the living earth, right? Because Gaia at its core is nothing but molten heat. Therefore, in the ginger dead man universe, which gingerbread is basically just bread with ginger in it. What is gingerbread made of?

40:38It's a cookie. You take ginger and bread, right? You pick ginger and wheat. What's wheat from? The earth, right? You grow it out of the earth. Ginger is a root based thing It's from the earth right And then you put heat in it and it makes life The earth in this universe Is alive Can I ask you a question No Alright

41:01Wade:So heat creates life This is a weird take on this But like during the Normal creation of life Process we call sex Mitosis The powerhouse of the cell right Yours, you can have it, it's fine If heat is the primary creator of life Then like the sperm and egg don't even matter So if you just had like more friction, less lube Would you create more life? Probably Yes I think so I believe so Okay That's it, that was my question Alright So the ginger dead man, one, he's an ugly son of a bitch But the baked goods, glassblowing thing We're defining life as anything that's like what? a unique created existing thing doesn't have to have any kind of like I think we're defining life as anything that got hot Approximately how alive yours determined by your hotness we all know this to be true That's I'm less alive than I used to be and I was never very alive then come on come on.

42:02Wade:No, it's fine Come on. Come on. I feel like we've really settled it there. I don't know I don't know what's that ginger dead man. I feel like I have like 20 things we could talk about this doesn't have to be long I think we got very deep there I think we had some deep thoughts I think that was a nice moment Mark you can go first on this one Okay Let's get deep about Herms You guys remember Herms? The statue? The penis statue It's your head and it's a penis And it's in memorial of you after you've died Or gotten cold presumably I think what Herms suggests And it might be true besides fingerprints, I guess.

42:43I'm getting ahead of my own conclusion. You will see where I was going with by saying fingerprints. The only identifying features that separate us from another person next to us is our head and our penis or genitals in general. Did they do female Herms? I actually don't know. We should go deeper on that. I'm looking, I'm looking. But if you think about it, isn't that kind of true? Because the head is not only the face, which is the outward understanding of who we are as a person, and I know some people are like, hey, there are people out there that don't have faces, and I would say, hey, there aren't many people out there that don't have heads.

43:19I'm just going to make a bold claim, much like my sleeping claim, or laying down claim, about how I challenge anyone who doesn't like laying down, yada yada. There are many people that don't have a head, right? And so, your brain is in there, so that's the inner you, and then the face is there, which is what we most commonly understand is the outer you, And then you have the genitals, which I guess outside of the template of human is like, that's, I guess, ours. And it's the way that we blast future us into the universe, right? So if you think about it, Herms is the truest distillation of us, of our identity, besides the fingerprints.

44:02You see what I was going for there?

44:04Wade:They didn't know about those back in the nation. Yeah, they didn't know about DNA or fingerprints or any other biological markers. It was your face, your brain, and your junk. Your junk, yeah. That's all they had to go with. Apparently, there are female Herms. I can't seem to find any examples where the females' lower parts are represented in the same way that they just slap dicks onto the male Herms. So I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It seems like it started with male, and then maybe around the Renaissance or so they started with female. Someone was like, hey, can you do my wife? And the sculptors were like, yeah, oh How do we chisel, wait, how do we chisel Ah, I'm gonna need to see your wife And the guy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Just look at her face Just look at her face, do your best, alright Oh, whoa, whoa, I'm gonna need to see your wife How does that sound?

44:53Wade:I didn't think so Boys, I gotta go for a minute No, you have to get deep about Herms Listen, my fridge water broke How's the time, I gotta go We were just getting on a roll I know I know I'm sorry but when you gotta go you gotta go you know this fridge delivery I very explicitly said please deliver Friday well how long could it take to install a fridge really I might not have to go they just left it in a cardboard box on the driveway and they just left that's they literally just left it's delivered done do you want this inside or is this not a driveway fridge? I just looked at the model and I assumed driveway fridge.

45:36Wade:Are we talking about Herms? Herms, yeah. Herms, yeah. Yeah, so Herms. I think the one thing missing from Herms are butt cheeks. I think they should have little butt cheeks on the back as well. Or big butt cheeks. Some people have big. I thought the little tiny ones are funnier to me on the Herms. Only people with small butts can have a Herm. That might be true. Because then it's still just the block of marble flat on the back, so. that's what mine would look like maybe the part of the Herm that matters isn't the part that's detailed like you know the head and the penis are very detailed but then there's just smooth stone and maybe what we should be focusing on is the fact that everyone's got a head that looks different and a unique penis it's what's in between that's where the bulk of the creation actually is most of the sculpture isn't those two parts those two parts had the time spent to detail them out which is stupid like the rest of it is what encompasses the entirety of the Herm maybe it's because most of things like the universe right very few parts of the universe either have life compared to its whole but the whole universe is important even though we focus on planets and suns black holes living things aliens but there's so much more that we don't focus on because it just doesn't seem like as much but it's there i get what you're saying we can optimize the Herm why have that in the first place?

47:04bring those junks up put them right at the neck save some space hey, they make busts why not Hermusts? Penusts why not Husts? you know? the Hust yeah I mean, marble can't be cheap so, you know, you can save a lot what if, like, someone you know, didn't really matter as much but, you know you want the discount preserve their memory let me know who they were you know

47:31Wade:Think about for our own selves. If we were able to have some kind of surgery, we would just remove the neck, the chest, the bowels, and we just went straight from head to penis, we would be very optimized. Yeah, yeah, I think so. Cut out a lot of waste. Yeah, absolutely. Our food could go directly into sperm. No in between. It's the only thing you need. All right. I think we really dug deep on that one. All right. That's exactly what I knew would happen. Well, I was going to save this for later, but it seems so pertinent now. Wade, let's get deep about refrigerators. Man, I've never really thought too much about refrigerators because in my life, they were the containers of food that needed to be preserved.

48:17Wade:Ice cream. Love ice cream. That's really more of a freezer, but yeah. But like the fridge itself was always an afterthought. It was just a device, a means to an end. And then we did the episode Bob's Fridge, which we have video of that we will never share. It's very private video that's just for us to enjoy. Do we have video of that? I was actually naked because of the rage, so we can't share that. His shoes were long gone. Interesting film that's stored forever in the hidden distractible archive. But it got me thinking, and I was like, you know, refrigerators exist. They have parts and components.

48:52Wade:They can break. They can be dented. I think back to the fridge near the pool that we had when I was a kid growing up at the old house that get the Coke cans just cold enough to where they would mostly freeze, but still have a tiny bit of liquid, and they tasted so good when they were that ice cold. And, you know, you can decorate your fridge with magnets. You hang up, like, artwork and different things on refrigerators. Refrigerators really hold more of a special beacon in a household than I think we acknowledge on a day-to-day basis. We think about their function, and not necessarily the fact that it's a giant thing that sits there that we look at, we open, we use every day.

49:27Wade:and on top of that you can put an entire lifetime of photos and things on a refrigerator that you even if you're not looking at it directly like the photos and things you put on there like you see them your periphery they're there and you're reminded of whatever parts of life you want to remember and think about if you decorate your fridge that way and a lot of people do but even the device itself and all of its parts and components are interesting they're unique they're changing you know you have the old refrigerators newer models many fridges beer fridges the old fridge you toss in the garage almost a time machine of in many ways because also you have the contents of your fridge i don't know how often you guys go through and clear out your fridges or refrigerators i don't as often as i should occasionally you'll find a thing in the freezer it's like man even in a freezer i don't think that's still good but it's like you might remember when you bought a certain thing like maybe it's a product that's no longer even on the shelves i think refrigerators are just a good way to think back to reminisce and remember parts of life, shopping trips, things you eat, don't eat, people that have come and gone in your life, they're a lot more important in a household than just storing items.

50:33Oh, you're raising your hand. Sorry, I was looking at my handwriting. Mark. Yeah, Mark. Fridges are the lungs of society, of civilization. Let me explain. If you held your breath long enough, how soon would you die? A couple days. Wait, no, hold on. Wait, pick up. No, talk about lungs lungs. No not you're not holding your fridge. I hold my breath. I take it I don't use a lot of oxygen very efficient. Go on Wait, what how long can you hold your breath? I mean, I've never tried it. I just assume you know solid Solid 50 55 hours. Okay. All right. Hey, well, okay without air you die quick Okay, right you're afraid it does he's just getting started.

51:17Okay, okay. I'll get warmed up They're the lungs of civilization, right? So your lungs take in air, right? Pull in air. You take that in. The oxygen is what you need, right? Without oxygen, you die real quick, right? Days, yeah. If society collapses, people will realize how much the fridges were the lungs of civilization. Because without fridges, we're all dead. And this may sound like a joke, but it's so true. Because if you can't keep food cold, you can't preserve things, right? You got canned goods. You can kind of keep those long, but without the fridge to keep your things cold. Cold on demand, it was not a thing people had, right?

51:57And none of them survived. Cold on demand is what keeps society going. All those fridges in the stores that are keeping deep coolers, deep refrigerators. If fridges are gone, we're gone. It's not just about memory. It's about life. If they are the lungs, okay, maybe there's a different. They're the heart. No, that would be too quick. I think life started on earth when the first fridge landed it did I said civilization and society okay I didn't say humanity I said of civilization that's why it was called the icebox age

52:32there you got me I'm with you man but if you see what I'm saying you see what I'm saying fridges are our weakness they're the weak link in society If they're gone If we run out of Freon How soon are we running out of Freon Our country is built on Freon Shut up This is my turn he's getting all the points He's stealing all the points There's a limited number of points Just like the Freon What's the word Freon

53:03Wade:What's the catchphrase Live Freon or die hard I'm pretty sure it's live Freon and drive cars Aw man Freon's being phased out Aw Oh, boo. Aw, man. Haven't you seen what the new administration is doing? We're almost out of Freon already. They can take our ovens, but they'll never take our Freon! Ooh, you know what's being replaced by? PURON. Oh man, that doesn't sound good. PURON. I'm telling you, look, it's, um, well, Freon was, uh, made in, first in like the 1930s or something? Blonde particle with blue glow

53:56I'm just lobbing him softballs. He's smacking them right out of the park. What the fuck?

54:01Wade:It's not a water particle It's an air airion particle Alright, that wasn't that good Anyway, could have been I'm gonna start taking points away if you cut in Mark's time, but mess it up like that Fuck Anyway, so yeah, Fridge's lungs, we die If we don't have, we don't realize how close We are to dying or whatever Coin flip! I saw it, I saw two, I saw that one as it happened Take a look at two of these Whoa, peace? Are you wanting to Later? That's different Take a look at this Nice. That was good deepness. That was very deep. That was deep-tastic. Which one's more offensive to you of the middle fingers?

54:44Is it this? This? This? Don't do that. Get that out of here. When does it become offensive? Wait. Wade put up his ring finger. Wait, when are you offended? When are you offended? When are you offended? Let me know. Let me know. Let me know. Offended. Ah, right there. Okay, so this is the optimal offense. Not yet.

55:07Wade:It kind of looks like a little penis

55:13Okay,

55:19let's listeners alright, so my middle finger is slightly elevated not fully straight my ring and Pointer finger are equally but kind of hunched like a guy vomiting thumb is kind of up and out It looks like he's doing a shitty version of the claw from Liar Liar. Yeah. Middle finger and pinky are making like a 85 degree. It's annoyingly not 90. And it's all like I'm holding some kind of a thing. You're changing the light bulb right now. Yeah.

55:47Wade:Imagine a witch putting a curse on somebody with her long fingers out in a weird creepy way. And then I hold my hand in a way that all the other fingers are more hidden, but kind of not. That's offensive. It's like you're eating an apple But also you're telling someone to F off Apple An apple that was already Apple That was already eaten so you got grabbed by the core With your pinky and thumb and then wrap around the top But there's that part that's bitten out And then you got the stem right on your middle finger Up top it's a long stem Apple Been there how many apples I picked up off tables in the food court Had to hold like that Apple But for a free apple Apple?

56:29Got it, yes, apple, yes What is that from? I remember that as a thing that Wade does and nothing else

56:35Wade:I don't remember I do that It all started with a reference to the witch from Snow White presenting the apple Where she's like, got the hood up And it's like, would you accept an apple from someone who looked like Old and creepy and hunched Wearing a hood of all darkness that is approaching like Apple? You're like, oh yeah, thanks Oh fuck Yeah, I mean, why didn't she come down as the queen? I don't know, I would have accepted royal apples You know, cause I feel like you would be like Wow, a royal person is giving me an apple A queen apple? Holy shit, thank you your majesty Like they would all know, right?

57:07Is she known as the evil queen in that universe to begin with though? Is that the thing? Cause she's the evil queen, right? In the story, but is she Is she the evil queen before she does that to Snow White? Or does she become the evil queen?

57:20Wade:Is she the one that turns into a dragon? Dragon these nuts Give me some points, man! Be better! I don't know, man. Have some good cut-ins of your own. Don't be so jealous of mine. How did Donkey and that dragon from Shrek make babies? Penis, vagina, sperms. They had alternate forms of herms where they were very similar. Have you ever heard the phrase, hung like a donkey? No, actually. I haven't. It's a thing. It's out there. But that the even so the size discrepancy I imagine the dragon had to hover at the edge of a cliff and then donkey ran full speed at the last moment pulled up and then just why is that necessary?

58:06Wade:Why is that part of the equation? You asked the question I was answering. Why is there a cliff? Why at the edge of a cliff? What does the cliff have to do with anything to lower herself? What is she hanging off the edge? She could fly. She's trying. Why is she flying? Why does she need to fly? Because she's a dragon, Mark. Keep up. Duh.

58:30Alright, Wade's been really jumping all over Mark's stuff. Wade's been really stealing a lot of points. I got one. That's right. Mark, you get to go first this time. Oh, okay. I want you to get deep about camera lenses. Alright, let me jump in. Oh, I thought you were going to say, how donkey made a baby with the How Donkey and Dragon figured out how to do it. Okay, what was it? Lenses? Camera lenses. Oh. Or any kind of lens, really. But. Sorry. I don't know what it came over to me. Wow. Mark just gets really worked up about camera lenses, I think. I just got excited. Finally, it's my chance. All right.

59:12The whole concept of lenses kind of boils down to glass, right? how lucky are we in this universe like universally lucky that it just so happened that we melted sand and it was clear that must have been mind-blowing for the first person that melted glass down in a fire that was hot enough to do that the first human just must have been like you know like to see to see a fucking just glass that was crazy because the only other thing transparent okay Okay, there was water, I guess you could kind of see through water. But that was liquid, right? Well, okay, glass is a liquid. But they wouldn't have known that, right?

59:51No, they couldn't have known that. Yeah, so the concept... Oh, for people that don't know, glass is just an extremely slow-moving liquid, apparently. And they've done experiments of this where they had, like, a piece of a low-viscosity glass. Glass is just the ice of sand. That broke him?

1:00:16Wade:Oh man, watching Mark break, I mean listening to Mark break in real time

1:00:23Cause I was trying to follow and I went like, no, it really was That must have been nuts, right? Lenses as like, just the fact that you're taking this Sand is so crazy for humanity Sand has been so good to us It makes computer chips It makes Glass Darth Vader Sandpaper Beaches Sandbox Dessert It fills tacos from Taco Bell There's sand in those You go to the beach You're getting sand in there So lenses coming out of all that Like harkens back to that first time. I think we all see how my point connects you filmed your first time Is that what I'm getting? God, I hope not I really hope not. Alright, Wayne if you could if you can if you even know enough Can you get deep about camera lenses?

1:01:25Wade:Oh, of course. I mean, I don't know when the first photograph was taken 1963 163. That feels wrong, but I'm going to choose to believe you. All right, if I look up and give you the right answer, would it be... Would you believe it? You're going to counter our host? Our host is correct. Okay, it was 1717. That's what I said. That's what Bob said. You want to know how? I'm assuming with glass. No. Does this count tintype or whatever? Is this that kind of stuff? No. Apparently, Johann Heinrich Schultz used a light-sensitive slurry to capture images of cut-out letters on a bottle. Huh. A bottle made of...

1:02:05Oh! Sand ice! Still had to have glass! Anyway, these are photograms, so I guess they're not photographs. Oh, I love photograms. They're little teddy bears. They have cinnamon and... Oh, he went on to develop the daguerreotype. Come on, Mark. Leave some points for me. All right, I'll give you a point if you can pronounce this name. Say it. Fucking look. Say it to me and I'll pronounce it. No, hang on. I'm gonna put it in the chat. Hold on. I'm putting in the chat. All right.

1:02:30Wade:You're gonna give me a point? Bob, I don't know. My points might be worth more. Pronounce that name. Nighepore Nips. I'm pretty sure it's Nipchi. Nipchi? Nipchi? It'd probably be Niche. Nichepore Nipchi. Nichepore Nipchi. Nichepore Nipchi. That's definitely right. He's from France, so more French. Oh, Nichepore Nipchi. Nice four, neeps Damn, damn, so French in here Yeah, pretty French Alright, I'm sorry, I'm done interrupting Oh man, it's so hard giving my point when I get interrupted all the time So it's like being you guys? I knew you couldn't do it Wade loses this one, Wade forfeits Mark wins camera lenses Yes!

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1:03:55Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip. One more. I have a bunch left, but one more. There's a rule about this one And it might feel unfair Oh shit Oh wait Alright well I guess we're doing the thing I didn't know the host could call unfair

1:04:37Wade:But here we are Anyone can do it I'm not sure what the outcome of this will be But hopefully nothing Alright I guess we don't play this round If it's declared to be unfair Let's find out Hi Mine is tails. Okay, I got tails. Oh. Oh, fuck. Oh, no, wait. Oh, God, what does that mean? Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. So, I declared unfair. And you lost. And I lost. So, it will be made doubly fair. What I declared unfair was this category. So, to make it doubly fair. All points in this round are doubled? The only the points from this category count in the game? Oh, fuck! Oh, that would - that - I mean, you're the host, eh?

1:05:31Is that doubly fair? I guess so. That would be - okay. Alright. Fuck. Alright. I have so much shit written down.

1:05:40Wade:Ooh! Ha ha ha ha! Careful what you wish for! Alright. Holy shit. That's the first time we've gotten three of the same one in a while. Yeah, that's been a while. Okay, so only the points from this category count. I'm so ready. For who wins this game. I'm glad that happened. Totally, that was very much on purpose. I feel like this is an advantage for me, so. Yeah, Mark, you're going to really like this one. Who gets to go first on this? Wade gets to go first on this. Mark, let Mark go first so I can interrupt a bunch. No, Wade's got this. Okay, I'll go first. You can still interrupt if you go second.

1:06:13Oh, good boy. Wade, you go first. I want you to get deep about two sentence horror stories. Oh, fuck. God, man. What the fuck? Okay. What the fuck?

1:06:26Wade:I told you it seemed like it was unfair. God damn it. It's almost like the last one was too. But it's so fair. The rule is you have to get deep in two sentence statements. Oh. All right.

1:06:47I didn't fucking need to do the go-and-flip. I'm so sorry, Mark. Oh, no, it's just sentences, right? We don't have to make two sentences. No, it doesn't have to be a horror story. I'm not giving you a sentence you have to finish. I just want you to get deep about two-sentence horror stories in the form of two-sentence statements.

1:07:08Wade:All right, okay. Since the dawn of time, horror has been a major influence and part of our culture. Two sentence horror stories took that to a whole new level by making it partly comedic as well as maintaining some of the spookiness and scariness to it Thereby making it even better Fucking thereby god damn all right That's right okay I got this A master of the vernacular Ready Get him Get him mark Brevity Ah

1:07:45Wade:wait i didn't get to cut in that was so short i didn't even get a chance damn it you're learning we only go once so this is that all we get we can go back and forth we keep going i like this let's keep going all right okay oh can i just stop i feel like if i stop there i might have an advantage i don't know no no i gotta have opportunity to cut in our podcast over the years has had a lot of interesting and fun topics and episodes. Two sentence horror stories being one that one of us maybe struggled with a little bit more than the others has got to be toward the top of the list and thereby making it.

1:08:21Wade:You can't just say and thereby. You only get one thereby point for game. Calm down. That wasn't listed in the rules. The only rule was two sentences. Well, you said and thereby. I think if we typed that one out, there would have been a period and and started your next sentence and thereby. You don't start a sentence with and? Are you kind of monster, are you? You can do whatever you want because sentences are just things that we made up. I choose not to. I don't know if that was deep. That was just obvious and factual. Hold on. We're going to talk about deep. Brevity, ah. It was very deep. That's like the ultimate distillation.

1:08:58In two words, he said everything. You're lucky you've already called unfair.

1:09:06In two words, he said it all. Two words, two sentences. I don't even know if you can have two sentences with less than two words. Perth, thy name is Breveth.

1:09:14Wade:Mark, back to you. All right. That wasn't the start of it. Wow, well said. Hark! Hear mine words, O simpletons of the land that do reap mine. Fucking go. No, I've trapped myself. Oh, I'm stuck in a well. I'm stuck in a well. It's so dark down here. These are not sentences. It's all one. I'm so panicked that I can't stop. Isn't Hark a sentence? But when they look for me in the well, I was already dead.

1:09:48Wade:How many sentences? Isn't Hark in and of itself an exclamation? Hark is an exclamation that is a sentence on its own.

1:09:59Wade:Hark. Damn it, only one sentence left. Oh, this is it. I better continue it very carefully. Oh, man. Glad I stuck that landing. I don't think we need to go anymore. I think that's deep enough. I don't know. I feel like Mark's just getting warmed up. I think one more would be great for him. No. Hark. Shut up. Terror and comedy are like the sweet and sour of our soul. Why didn't you say that in your sentences? I'm saying it now. Oh. Oh. Oh, my air conditioner just like blasted. So anyway, I started blasting! Hark, I started blasting. I say two harks. Yes! All right, just stop. Everyone stop. The points are in.

1:10:45Mark, you earned points for... Heating like a child. Rock, candy, delicious. Windows removed Atmos. You're watching in whoosh Atmos. BLEESH! GLEESH! I wrote down all the sound effects you did. Yo, Mr. White. We made him up. Ovens are just Gaia. You optimize penises and Herms. The shoes were long gone. You figured out what the most offensive finger was. Sand is just ice of glass. That's my joke, but you had the best reaction to it. It's so French in here. The brevity. Ah. And also, when they finally looked for me in the well, I was already dead. Which is written mostly on Wade's side of the scorecard.

1:11:36Wade, you earned points for basketball man, running lines, bald, headband. Making fun of the listeners, got him. Run raw. Run raw? Run. Roy. Roy. Run, Roy. Roy run. Roy. Roy. Roy. Or whatever the fuck you said you've also got points for dead bread dead bread dead dead bread dead bread Dead dead bread bread dead bread bread. I don't know why I wrote like that But we all remember you have points for pointing at yourself and just going ugly Did you do that or did I imagine that you earned points for your driveway fridge? Refrigerator nope no idea something about refrigerator. Oh icebox age our country was built on freons blonde particle blue glow you got a thereby and a second thereby point you also got a i'm saying it was point and you also got a dragon over the edge of the cliff doing it with donkey point you did get minus one point for being the only person to only one time comment on the fact that i was just randomly flipping this coin during the episode mark never said a thing about it and I wasn't doing anything other than flipping the coin to see if anyone would react and when you did one time pointed out that that was minus one point unfortunately almost none of those points count for anything and the final score of points that actually matter is three to three

1:13:11it's a good thing I documented all that well I'm happy about it it was very great use of a coin I wish that that had been on purpose, but I'm just stupid.

1:13:21Wade:You just went all in with how unfair, and I was like, oh, he wants this. I literally was like, I should try and bait them into saying it, and I baited myself into saying it. How many bonus points? Zero. I hope it's one. It's three. What a surprise!

1:13:41Unbe-liefable. Most interruptions of the other player. Oh, hell yeah. That definitely favors me. I interrupt you guys all the time.

1:13:49Wade:Yeah, that's true. Alright, we got three spins of this bad boy. Let's boogie. Cough rules.

1:14:00Baldest. Alright, well, sorry Mark. Alan's kinda... If I rip my hair out right now, would that count? I would give it to you.

1:14:07Wade:Probably, because I got a little bit of like a... Yeah, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I would never do it. I've got an 8pm shadow showing. Wait gets the first one with baldest Baldest again Oh thank god If the coin has not been flipped, flip it apply the last contentious thing Holy crap, wow Was that a bit baldest? I love that that's on there It's really unfortunate that I accidentally burned the coin flip on the one time we're ever gonna land on that spin But here we go spin number two again Maybe it should just be whether or not the coin has been used most impressions I think Oh Mr.

1:14:47Wade:White! I think Mark gets that one. I only did one and it was the I know this one I think. I have barely an impression to that point. This is your slogan. How dare you. Yo Mr. White, what do you want Jesse? There was a lot of that. Have you heard of a shower? Oh Jesse. Spin number three, best comeback. Okay, is this a comeback like score wise or like a retort? I was going to go either one, and I really want to give it to Mark's two-sentence horror story that started with, Hark! Sentence number two. That's a comeback. You saved it. You turned that all the way into, and when they finally looked for me in the well, I was already dead.

1:15:32Look, I appreciate your candor, but I don't think that's a comeback. I think that's sticking the landing. Which I did, for sure. 100 % Okay, okay You did something Since we all got tied up I don't know if that qualifies score wise I can't think of any like really snappy comebacks Wade had some interruptions and some good one-liners But none of them were like Not comebacks

1:16:01Wade:The comeback to mark The best I can think of is the dragon these nuts And I don't But if someone else said something else to that But that's still not that I don't know I'm gonna respin That's a respin We'll do a respin It's not definitive. I don't know any wishy-washy bullshit. Holy fuck! OH MY GOD! Oh, thank you! All of that for the final spin to be sudden death. It's a tie. Oh my god. It's finally happened. I have the numbers for the wheel because we actually spun it recently. Because we did that recently, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so I have the percentage or the out of 360. All right, I just want to show that this is I have documented that it is now a sudden death round Wow That's good.

1:16:47What is the number supposed to be? It was 91 now. It's 98. That's looking pretty chunky there. That's pretty big as beefy It's that's getting close to one-third of the wheel right now.

1:17:01Wade:Nice I mean the odds are so against it still. Oh wait, you got change Bob the mark. Oh, I could win I'm gonna be fair enough. No, no, not not not you can't declare unfair. What are you gonna do? Mark Wade wins? Oh my god. All right, there we go Mark Wade or one man show wait the weights turned off Hang on. Wait a minute. No, it was good. It was good I liked it 98 it's a lot, but I would like 98 more than I would like an equal one-third. All right Here we go. Mark Wade one man show boom

1:17:37Oh! Oh god! Holy fuck. Oh, not me! Thank - fuck!

1:17:45Wade:Oh! Oh, I'm feeling the same way! Oh! Oh! Oh, well now we gotta figure that out. Oh shit. Uh, can we spin the wheel to determine who has to make your one-man show? Technically, it's supposed to be both you guys together. Work with him? He's my competitor. Alright, well, so the winner is... Both of you, I guess? The loser is you is how it all works. No, you win a one-man show. Yeah, you did win you get the host No, you guys host I just am the one-man show unless we just make you do it I think we all need to be here. That's not the deal The deal is that the people who are not the one-man show are supposed to make the show for the person to do Yeah, I have done a one-man show that Tyler and Ethan wrote a full script of and then I performed it on a stage You also did one here on distractible that we wrote could do that So we'll just have to decide what that is.

1:18:38Congrats Bob. Hooray. You guys want to give a joint winner speech, I guess?

1:18:48Wade:We... Go on. That's two words.

1:18:57One...

1:19:01And...

1:19:08Are grateful Thanks

1:19:13Wade:We did it Yeah, we did it We did it Well, Hub, do you want to give a hoster speech? I fucking don't Uh Good episode That really worked out for the best for everybody, I think Uh, thanks for watching and listening And whatever you did Whatever you did made this happen So I really appreciate that Thanks, everybody I really try not to be overly disappointed, but I'm not looking forward to whatever you guys are going to come up with for this. I can't lie. You're not worried about hosting for the holidays? Oh, Wayfair's got me covered with holiday decor, extra dining chairs, and guest bedding. All with tons of five-star reviews, so there's no surprises.

1:19:51Unless Uncle Matt brings his dogs again. For worry-free hosting, Wayfair delivers.

1:19:58Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu And the season's most overlooked Little green vegetable is dressed to be Devoured. You know what to do Order on the Sweetgreen app It's okay man I'm sure it'll be fine Make sure you follow the show On your platform of choice Make sure you follow Mark, Wade and myself On our channels And the next episode is going to be A one man show performed by me Probably Unless I die And then we reset the thing to small again. That's it. See you on the next one. I'm sure it will be fun for almost everybody who's there.

1:20:42Tell the next one. Podcast out.