Oregon Trail

11:31Mark Fischbach:No, no, no. I'll save it for a different episode because I don't have much in my life, and I need this one thing to hold on to for the future. I believe that.

11:38Ethan Nestor:I'm trying desperately to think of anything that's happened in my life, but I've just been so tired. I'm not going to lie. And that feels terrible to say in front of Mark because I know, like, are you still doing all-nighters? Are you still trapped in that? No, no, no. God, no. I started to almost get shingles again, so I was like, I should probably not do that.

11:57Mark Fischbach:I'm not doing that, but I've just been so tired. Mark had like a week and a half of rough sleep. You've been a dad for like two years. I think you win. That is true. Yeah. It's not a competition, but like Mark loses. James is fun, except for the biting.

12:12Ethan Nestor:It's a little bitey. Comes and goes. I'll be fine. I sleep a lot. Sleep great. Yeah, I've kind of been prioritizing it. I've been trying to make sure that I get good sleep and that that is important. Everyone get good sleep out there. but at the same time you know it was kind of refreshing pulling an all-nighter there is a time of day that I love that I had to look up what the name was because I thought in my head it was uh I got up this morning and it was like 5 a.m um I know I just said I was trying to get good sleep but I had to get up early this morning but it's 5 a.m and I go outside and it's overcast and there's yeah the sun isn't over the horizon yet so it's just you know just a little but but because of the clouds, it's like everything's this like gray, blue, you know, like steel blue color.

12:55And it's real quiet before even the birds are starting to go. And I had to look it up because in my head, I was like, is this twilight? No, it can't be twilight. This is, this isn't what twilight is. And I looked it up. That actually is what twilight is, which is like when the sun is below the horizon, but still casting light. There's three different twilights. I forget what the other two are, but the one in the morning is civil twilight. I think, Oh, I might be confusing them but civil twilight is like just before the sun rises on like that kind of cloudy overcast day where it's not like a beautiful sunrise i think in the evening you get uncivil twilight these

13:30Ethan Nestor:distinctions don't make any fucking sense how is there a third twilight there's civil twilight nautical twilight and astronomical twilight they're not as unrelated as they sound civil twilight is when the sun is between zero and six degrees below the horizon nautical twilight is six to 12 degrees and astronomical twilight is the darkest kind of twilight right before it's actually just dark 12 to 18 degrees below the horizon so the twilight hours are my favorite but specifically in the morning like it's such a beautiful time so i i thought it was very refreshing to pull these all-nighters because you'd see times of day or night that you wouldn't ordinarily see.

14:14I think I was probably born to be a night shift person, but I had the upbringing of a military man and therefore I am a 6 a.m. waker, but I rebel against that. I think in all honesty, I should be a third shift kind of person, but I'm just not.

14:28Mark Fischbach:Like staying up all night? Yeah, exactly. And then going to bed at like 4 or 5 in the morning? No, you'll miss the twilight. No, no, no. Go to bed at 5 30 in the morning like 6 7 8 9 a.m 10 11 12 oh that's naughty that's like naughty hours to be awake nautical twilight naughty twilight oh is that what that means naughty twilight you got naughty dusk and you got naughty twilight and then you got astronauty is that why they're called that hey i probably god i'm learning so much from you guys right now yeah that's what we're all about here. This is a learning podcast. People come to us because of our expertise and our accumulated knowledge.

15:09The years of wisdom weigh heavy on us. The more you know, less copyrighted, the more you know. Just by saying less copyrighted, it's like...

15:19Mark Fischbach:The logo will be a little bit less on brand, so it'll be less copyrighted the second time. Oh. When you're slightly more knowledgeable. When you gain some insight. Don't sue us reading rainbow Or whoever that was that had that I don't think that they're the most litigious But you know since BBS funding got cut Maybe maybe yeah they're coming Now they need it reading rainbows Had fallen hard times They need it real bad cut the reading rainbow Lean it against a brick wall with a paper bag Mr. Rainbow No I'll pay you back Mr.

15:57Ethan Nestor:Rainbow is my father Times have changed I was just going to ask what we were talking about but we weren't I guess we were talking about Twilight yeah a little bit yeah I do like that I this is not a thing that I can I feel like I could get away with anymore because it feels weird and creepy but when I was when we were in college do you ever just like walk around campus in the middle of the night like I pull it all nighter and at like four in the morning I'll be like I'm just going to get some fresh air go walk around campus and like sit in the football stadium at UC and just be like it's four in the morning that's good no it is good though it is how many times in life do you really have that where you've worked so hard and you you just like are just at this time because 4 a.m is a beautiful time 3 4 because very few people are awake nothing's really moving definitely nothing's open besides like the donut shops and they're still making the donuts you know it's it's just such a quiet moment and i i'm such a solitary person that i'm like i i'm not meant for the cities and yet i live in one of the biggest It's like I just need to need the quiet.

17:03Mark Fischbach:I love middle of the night even before the Sun starts to come up just going out in the middle of the night like a summer night where like the dew is on the grass and you just hear like the Insects and the trees and stuff. He's a creepy scurrying. I'm like a raccoon or something, but like no no road traffic or anything It's just the insects and the night I don't know the night sound but it's different like the midnight one is different than like you said like two or three in the morning yeah because even the bugs are asleep like the bugs actually do get quiet at night they start

17:33Ethan Nestor:to shut down well and there's just a relatively short window because people are out working like late shifts until like people work at bars and they work some factories run until late in the night there's a sweet spot between after work but before the early douchebags who are out on the road at five in the morning where it's like even in the heart of a city you get a little bit of like quiet what's that what's that word solitude is not the right word peacefulness solipsolipsolipsolipsism

18:02Mark Fischbach:that's probably it you know a really cool example my grandparents had a cabin down on lake cumberland and i remember a night we stayed out on the pontoon overnight and we woke up really early it was actually kind of fucking freezing but when we woke up there was no other boats out on the water that were moving there was no like even the river was asleep so like we stood up and looked on the water and it's like we were in the middle of this lake and it was like looking at glass because the water was so still completely still and this is a very busy popular like area right because cumberland's big and everyone goes down there to vacation but seeing the water still as glass was really cool you know that that kind of thing is something that i think everyone can agree with there's some people that might be like i prefer city and people but almost everyone can appreciate the beauty and serenity that is in nature and that's why i always am flabbergasted by the political divide of like environmentalism is like protecting that landscape is sometimes a hot button issue but this isn't even about politics i'm not even talking politics like everyone wants that the people that want to go fishing uh you know and and want to go hiking and want to go there's so many overlaps where the human experience is just like a naturally now time out oh okay i'm are yes that shopping center could be two minutes from my house instead of 10 you have beautiful nature two minutes from your house well i did but now we have three shopping centers instead got a nice highway yeah put a thoroughfare through there for business yeah i agree i agree you're

19:32Ethan Nestor:right i i'm a pretty chill person in general and it's it's hard i will admit to like slow down enough to appreciate that so i don't hold it against people if you're not in the place where you're you're ready to appreciate like a dead still you know a glass lake that's like smooth it's like five in the morning and it's misty that's beautiful but if you're not in that place it's really fucking boring like you're sitting there and you're like i need to be doing something like mentally i'm in a place where i need to be i have all the stuff on my mind i need to i can't relax whatever i get that but you're right like i don't understand why it's so even people who struggle to find the like mindset to really appreciate it you have to understand that that's a valuable thing right like you have to appreciate it sometimes that's a pretty universal human experience i feel like marveling at nature or appreciating a tranquil scene or something like maybe you don't get a lot of opportunities for it but i feel like for everyone i've ever talked to that i feel like i know well enough to guess if you ran through like so what are your favorite memories of life or whatever at least some of them are like oh this one time we were at this waterfall or oh we were on this river and it was like just this crazy scene it's because it's beautiful it's it's a pretty universal experience i think i don't know maybe i'm wrong about that

20:50Mark Fischbach:i think that's why niagara falls was so disappointing to me because niagara falls i thought i was going to get that experience and then we went there and it was just so built up around it because it's such a tourist destination like the falls themselves are still beautiful but like you can't really see the falls without seeing literally sky spin restaurant and everything else around it not that those places are bad but like it wasn't the oh we got to hike 30 minutes up a trail to actually get to where we can see the falls like i really wanted to have like that nature experience of getting there and it's just creeped into it niagara falls i see what you're

21:24Ethan Nestor:saying and i've never been there but i i believe you i always i generally have a thing about waterfalls though i feel like that's something if you had someone to pick out a thin air they'd be You're like, oh, I love a beautiful waterfall. And in pictures, you look and you're like, God, that must be just the most beautiful. The reality of any waterfall that's more than like a few feet is you go on that long hike up the mountain. You're deep in the woods and come against the opening and you see the waterfall and you're just like, this is a beautiful waterfall. It's like a constant explosion of all the natural things that exist.

22:00Ethan Nestor:A waterfall has got to be one of the least pleasant. Holy fuck, I've never been close to a waterfall and just been able to be like, isn't this beautiful? It's always like, what? No, let's get away from the waterfall. I can't fucking hear you. There's a reason why in a lot of movies, the disaster moment is, oh no, oh waterfall. We're gonna die. Yeah, but still, it's pretty cool. The majesty of it is nice. But like, it's beautiful and pictures and stuff. Fantastic, but standing next to a waterfall Fucking hate it

22:35Mark Fischbach:Yeah, they're better observed from a little bit of a distance If you're right next to one, they're a little loud Well, anyway, your point stands Niagara Falls sucks

22:43Ethan Nestor:Take that, New York Yeah, or Canada Yeah, both of them Pick who you are Why don't they just take the Americans and get it out of our country Get that out Get the American side down to El Salvador Pronto It's a deportation joke, I don't know if it landed No, I'm just slow It wasn't you, it was a funny bit My brain was like, how would you even do that? What are you suggesting?

23:10Mark Fischbach:How many airplanes would it take? My mind immediately thought I don't know where El Salvador is

23:16Ethan Nestor:Oh, down there? Out of this place, that's what I'm saying

23:20Mark Fischbach:I was like, I don't know El Salvador, New York

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24:16Ethan Nestor:You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. We've waited 15 years. 15 years is more than half less than half my life oh god i'm 36 i'm old just like hank hill newly retired and his wife peggy they're back they return to their texas home from the middle east and things are different one thing's for sure the alley guys are right where hank left them same hill new day an all-new season of king of the hill arrives on august 4th streaming on hulu on Disney Plus. You guys want to play a game? With you? Always. You're going to regret that. Okay, fuck. How many easy questions?

25:04How easy?

25:04Ethan Nestor:This is a very original idea. I just came up with this and I definitely wrote this all out myself and I call it Oregon Trail.

25:16Mark Fischbach:Oh, dysentery is coming my way again.

25:19Ethan Nestor:Yeah, well, so we've talked about this before and I'm going to admit something. I'm going to be really real with you guys. I've never actually factually played Oregon Trail. It's like a part of my childhood in terms of how I know about computers and I've seen it. I never sat down and actually just played it. So I have no idea what's going to happen. So I'm going to be in your wagon and you guys are going to be joint wagon leaders and I want you to show me the majesty of the Oregon Trail. Joint? Like we're in the same wagon? Or we're side by side, our own wagons? We're all in one wagon and you guys are in charge.

25:57Oh, God. Don't worry, buddy. We got you. Okay, how many grandfather clocks are we loading this bad boy up with?

26:05Mark Fischbach:Well, it's important to know time. So, like, at least one.

26:10Ethan Nestor:Wait, also, wait. Who brought up nature? Wade brought up nature, right? I brought up nature. Did Mark bring up nature? No, he brought up nature. No, he did bring up nature. All right, good. Wade, you get the segue point for nature. I'll take it. All right, maybe I did bring it up a little bit. You started with Twilight, but I... Yeah, that's true. It was very natural. Natural Twilight. But all right, whatever. Fuck me, then. Rolling my dice. Yeah, and have no idols.

26:41Mark Fischbach:Oh, man. So, real talk. I've not played Oregon Trail since probably I was 10. I'll give you 10 guesses of how the game goes.

26:49Ethan Nestor:I'm expecting you to get me safely to the end of the Oregon Trail, okay?

26:54Mark Fischbach:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start in fucking town and you shop. In town? You got limited funds. You shop for some shit and then you go. There's a lot of caulking, some hunting.

27:07Ethan Nestor:There's an important first step. So you guys are one body, two heads. so you're just you're the same person because the first choice you have to make is are you a banker from boston a carpenter from ohio or a farmer from illinois do we get to start where that our origin is or do we all start from philadelphia i don't literally don't know the first thing about how this game works mark i believe this is classic oregon trail but i that's all i got for you it's like doesn't it start in philadelphia or am i wrong about that it starts somewhere over in the east all i know is it ends in oregon i assume you'd think anyway ever heard of the dommer party

27:49Mark Fischbach:anyway you will the oregon trail officially starts in independence missouri is that where the game starts well if we played it we might find that out well that's like cheating you're already

28:00Ethan Nestor:halfway there am i where's missouri isn't that basically one state over from oregon how far could that even be?

28:08Mark Fischbach:That's halfway there. Yeah. From where were you starting? Where were you starting that that's halfway? Missouri. It's in the Midwest. Middle. Ohio's Midwest. Yeah, it's all Midwest. I think California's Midwest now. We're all Midwest. I think California's the only one that's actually West-West. Probably.

28:26Ethan Nestor:Well, what are you? What do you do, two-headed demon that leads our party?

28:31Mark Fischbach:Carpenter, farmer, or banker? Those were our three things.

28:33Ethan Nestor:Those were your options. One of us speaks in money. The other speaks in crops.

28:38Mark Fischbach:We're never going to have time to grow crops while we're on the road. Like, you know, how slow is this wagon moving? You're right. He's right. He's right about that. Six months to tend corn. That's stupid. So farmers out. Screw farmers. All right. We hate farmers on this podcast. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Hmm. If we're a banker and we sell good, we barter goods. Can we charge interest? Banker gets bonus money And then the carpenter has bonus skills I think that's what the bonus is Oh does the farmer have extra food? Because food's usually important actually Probably but forget that No fuck farmers Farmers are out of here

29:15Ethan Nestor:They are off the list Fuck farmers I love the farmers only theme song Great Great marketing there All right. Okay. Okay. So banker more money carpenter more wood.

29:36Mark Fischbach:We're picking one of these They know there's two heads of us. We're all one your body only has one profession

29:42Ethan Nestor:It's gonna be a long trail if we can't get past decision number one We can buy more grandfather clocks if we have more money. I like all marks talk about clocks

29:51Mark Fischbach:I think that's a strong strategy skills are only important once we leave money's important right now Yeah, exactly. I'm hearing banker. Yeah, we could pay someone with skill on the way Yeah, and we can talk them down because we're money people and we know money better than they do. Oh you

30:08Ethan Nestor:Are a banker from Boston over from New York fuck Boston same thing your name is Mark Wade you have me who else is in your wagon you get you get three more people Who else do you want to bring with us? Our wife. Tanya. Tanya, our wife. Got it. Tanya's her wife. And who's number five?

30:34Mark Fischbach:Teenage son.

30:36Ethan Nestor:God, they did not name people as creatively as they do now back in the Oregon Trail times.

30:42Mark Fischbach:Well, I thought Mark would give a name to our teenage son since I named Tanya. No, no, no, no. He doesn't get a name until he knows he's going to survive. Until we know. When he comes of age, then he gets a name. Oh, this is like God of War. He's just boy. Yeah, boy.

30:59Ethan Nestor:All right. Our party consists of Mark Waid, Bob, Tanya, our wife, and teenage son.

31:05Mark Fischbach:Is Tanya not our wife or is Tanya our wife?

31:07Ethan Nestor:No, Tanya's an unrelated person.

31:12Ethan Nestor:Are these correct? Yes. Yes, yes. I guess so. All right. It's 1848. Your jumping off point is Independence, Missouri. Ah. You must decide which month to leave. That's why they got the arch, because it's the gateway to the west. Oh. Ah. The Independence Arch. I remember that. Yeah, the Golden Gate Arch. When are we leaving? March, April, May, June, or July. Oh. Well, it is July, technically, so I guess.

31:44Mark Fischbach:Hold on. Hold on. Listen. and Bankerhead left. Mark votes for July. What if we leave toward the end of winter when we actually have supplies? I'm not gonna wait around until the end of winter. But we could bank more. Look, everyone knows you're warmer when you're moving. We're gonna sit around and be cold all winter or are we gonna be moving and keep the heat going through the winter? Think, think,

32:12Ethan Nestor:think. Yeah, are you thinking

32:14Mark Fischbach:win your your name does come first of ours so i'll yeah you're right we should leave now in the heat of july and that way whenever we're getting low on supplies it'll get cooler it'll get colder but that's when we'll be running out of food and we've killed the farmer no we just told him to fuck off he's fine oh we killed his dreams that's what i meant and same thing honestly yeah what's

32:37Ethan Nestor:the farmer without his dreams all right we're leaving in july i love this decision i can't imagine why picking the latest possible month would cause us any problems. How long does this trip take by the way? Takes me about like, you know, three, four days. Yeah, it's like a couple days drive. I don't even see why the leaving in the summer mattered. Any of those months would be fine.

32:54Mark Fischbach:According to Pathfinder rules, if you have a wagon, you actually move slower than just walking. So it's gonna be really slow if we play by Pathfinder rules. Well, that's Pathfinder. But thank God we're not doing that. Yeah, we have dirt road.

33:07Ethan Nestor:All right, Gate Master, tell us what's happening next. Mark, that's you. What? No, it was the one talking about Pathfinder rules and all this stuff.

33:16Mark Fischbach:Well, you asked how long it would take to get there, and I said, depends what system we're using.

33:19Ethan Nestor:All right, I think this is the step where we buy our grandfather clocks. Before leaving, we need to buy equipment and supplies. We have$1 ,600, which in 19th century money, I'm pretty sure is like$30 million today. Holy shit, we're a rich banker. All right, okay, we got the whole bank with us. All right, we have$1 ,600. You can buy whatever you need at Matt's general store. How many grandfather clocks you got? Why are you looking for the clocks? I'll tell you. Is that actually a thing you can do in this game? Okay, good.

33:51Mark Fischbach:I don't remember grandfather clocks in this game.

33:54Ethan Nestor:I thought you were just throwing that out there. Okay. No, you can definitely buy grandfather clocks. Here, I'll even voice characters for you guys. Hello, I'm Matt. So you're going to Oregon. I can fix you up with what you need. You ain't a guru, are you? What? Guru? No, no, maybe. Do you need one? Nope. No, don't need one. What do you want first? A team of oxen to pull your wagon? Or clothing for both summer and winter? Well, you don't need that for sure. Or plenty of food for your trip? Or ammunition for your guns? Or spare parts for your wagon? What do you want? We have to pick how many oxen, food, clothes, bullets, and spare parts we buy.

34:40So there's two strategies in Oregon Trail, and every other strategy is wrong. I see two paths. You go all oxen or all grandfather clocks. Wait, what about the bullets? Smollets, am I right? All bullets. Hunting was the funnest part. Hunting, this guy and hunting. No, that's a good idea, actually. We should hunt.

35:02Ethan Nestor:Or, you know what it does say? I could press the space bar to just leave the store. Then we just take our money with us. And money never loses its value.

35:10Mark Fischbach:So we have a wagon with no oxen pulling?

35:13Ethan Nestor:But we have$1 ,600. We do have Tanya and our wife.

35:18Mark Fischbach:Yeah, they could pull.

35:19Ethan Nestor:Tanya, our wife and teenage son, get out there. This is how you earn your name. All right, okay. You need at least two oxen. I know that because one could die.

35:32Mark Fischbach:What about four oxen? And you have like a Santa's sled kind of thing going How much money would that even cost?

35:38Ethan Nestor:Do you want to see how much one costs? Yeah, how much does one cost? There are two oxen and a yoke I recommend at least three yoke of oxen I charge$40 a yoke How many yoke do you want? Oh, I didn't realize this was math Fucking what the hell This game is school Does the yoke come with oxen? A yoke comes with two oxen He recommends at least three of them Which would be six oxen Well, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He's an idiot. Well, I know all about the Oregon Trail. All right, we need four yoke. Okay, wait, how many yoke could we technically buy? I wasn't prepared to do math.

36:17Ethan Nestor:Fucking hang on, hang on. Is that 40 yoke? Is that 40 yoke worth? We could have 80 oxen. Can we? Yes, we could buy 40 yoke of oxen. Yeah, I got a V40 out here in my wagon. can you eat oxen i assume you can eat if they die then you eat them is that what happens that's that's what i've known i've known you could do that unless they're sick and then you don't want to eat them 80 oxen could get us to to oregon if we needed to i feel like that's yeah how fast we haul dude is if it's like horsepower then that's a fat little uh little

36:53Mark Fischbach:piece right there plus if we need clothing i mean oxen hide is commonly used for clothes right Commonly We just treat them like Tauntauns How about we go split it We go half ox and half grandfather clocks Okay

37:09Ethan Nestor:How many grandfather clocks We haven't even seen Grandfather clocks yet I don't know I don't recall Grandfather clocks Are there other stores or is this the one store I don't know The game I played you could buy them in Independence for it says$100 But I'm guessing they don't have them Well, because it said I could leave the store, right? I assume that means there's other stores we could go to, or does that just mean we just... I don't think so.

37:36Mark Fischbach:I think that's just... I think in the original it was just one.

37:38Ethan Nestor:All right, so what I'm hearing is we're buying 20 yoke of oxen. Is that where we're sitting right now? All right, that would still leave us 800 bucks.

37:45Mark Fischbach:We might want a couple spare wheels for the wagon.

37:49Ethan Nestor:Oxen don't need wheels. Just drag it on the ground. Who cares? Because we've got enough oxen. It doesn't really matter. Honestly, this much power? Yeah, you're hauling no matter which way you got a wheel. I don't see how this could go wrong. You're right All right, that sounds like concurrence to me 20 20 yoke of oxen it is and the rest in bullets You may only take 20 oxen apparently we picked the maximum already Wait, it said I put 20 and then it said oh you can only buy 20 and then didn't let me buy Oh, no, it's a two oxen per yolk. So you can need 10 yokes. Oh, we can only take 10 Okay, 10 yoke 10 yokes it is, boys Well, that only costs$400

38:31Mark Fischbach:We put on a mustache And we buy 10 more yoke That's someone else Two people here

38:38Ethan Nestor:Tanya, go buy some more yokes Alright, whatever, we'll do that Uh, then maybe, I don't know Food, clothes Food and bullets Do we have a gun? Do we need a gun too? Is there an auto fill after that? Can you just auto fill it? I can just do what he recommends. He recommends 200 pounds of food per person. And I see you have five people. So. Oh, our son's all of a sudden four. We need a thousand pounds of food. Oh, I thought he counted as four. You're not a growing boy anymore. Or at least not for long. We've got a thousand pounds of food. That's only 200 bucks. How much clothes do we need? I recommend taking at least two sets of clothes per person.

39:20Ethan Nestor:200 pounds of clothes. 200 pounds of food. 200 pounds of clothes Barely sets of clothes Are one cowboy hat and one boots And that's it Wait there's no Recommendation for the bullets Wade you were pretty hot on bullets He sells them in boxes of 20 It's$2 a box How many boxes do we need Oh like at least$200 worth of bullets What is that 100 boxes I cannot type in a 3 digit number Into this slot I'll get you 99 boxes of bullets. All right. We got$198 of bullets.

39:57Mark Fischbach:We have enough for the oxen and for Tanya if she decides to get sick.

40:00Ethan Nestor:We've only spent$898 and we do need some spare parts. Yep. Wagon wheels and such. Wheel, axle, and tongue. They're$10 each. Oh, boy. How many wheels? 100? Oh. Six? Give me a ballpark. 10. 10. I cannot type in a two-digit number. Man, there's a bunch of rules in this. Nine it is. Our wagon may only carry three wagon wheels. Man, what an important piece of information to have. That I guess is three. Good God. How many wagon axles may we hold, store man? Our wagon can only carry three axles. I'm guessing three is the number, boys. All right, three. We spent$988.

40:47Mark Fischbach:I feel like we're forgetting something really important here. Well then, you're ready to start.

40:52Ethan Nestor:Good luck. You have a long and difficult journey ahead of you. You don't need to say that. You could say it's nice and easy. Oh, God. There's sound. Jesus, fuck, it's so loud.

41:06Mark Fischbach:Oh. God. I thought our cellar was dying.

41:10Ethan Nestor:No, I just hit, I hit the button and it just went, at fucking 150 % volume for some reason. Did we buy medicine? That wasn't an option. We're fine. What even is medicine? We don't even believe in that. It was 1840-something. But we don't have any beer grandfather clocks either. It's July 1st, 1848, and we're leaving. The weather is warm. Our health is good. Our pace is steady. Our rations are filling. What do we do? Well, cut those rations. All right, change food rations. Got it. Get them down. Billy, he doesn't have a name. The options are filling, meager, or bare bones. Well, we got to save it for winter, right?

41:54Ethan Nestor:It's got to be meager. Meager it is. Meals are small, but adequate. Yeah, exactly.

41:59Mark Fischbach:Yeah, that'll get rationale up. That'll get rationale up. Not morale, rationale.

42:05Ethan Nestor:We got rationale up. Onward. From Independence is 102 miles to the Kansas River Crossing. 102 miles. We're practically all the way there. Miles traveled, zero. We're doing fine. We left the game, we're like Small lunches, small lunches Oh wait, we're approaching a river, do I stop and assess? Or do we need to cross it? Yes, our pace is good Our rations are bigger Assess Oh, that just means we can stop Well, we can change the pace, guys Faster We gotta make up ground early Before things get bad We should have left four months ago

42:43Mark Fischbach:We got four months to make up

42:44Ethan Nestor:Options are steady pace, a strenuous pace, or a grueling pace.

42:51Mark Fischbach:Oh, you know which one I want. Yeah, fuck it. Let's gruel. Gruul. Let's gruel. Right through the river. If we go fast enough at the river, we go on top of it. It's true. He's right.

43:04Ethan Nestor:All right. Here we go, boys. We're rivering. You are now at the Kansas River Crossing. Would you like to look around? Oh, apparently I stopped us five pixels before we got to the automatic stop at the river crossing We've traveled 102 miles. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, we weren't even gruel You got 940 pounds of food health good. Why do we need to look around? It's a river. I mean good lord There is a bridge. Oh Are you vetoing wait? Are we looking? No, I didn't see what was it? Wait said maybe there's a bridge are there bridges in this game? Is that a thing? Yeah, probably.

43:37Ethan Nestor:Yeah, probably usually you cock or die Kansas River Crossing we're looking around there's no bridges we can stop to rest we can attempt to trade we can look at the map or we can get the fuck out of here

43:49Mark Fischbach:I think we can get the fuck out of here

43:50Ethan Nestor:we just left we just traded on we go you must cross the river in order to continue the river at this point is currently 603 feet across and 1.4 feet deep in the middle that sounds pretty crossable 1.4 easy attempt to Ford the river, cock the wagon and float it, take a ferry, or wait to see if conditions improve. Ford that shit. 1.4 feet? That's tiny. We can afford that. We're bankers. I like that face. That face is good. Oh, we're fine. That's good. That was a good thing that happened. We made the crossing successfully, guys. Yeah. Easy. See you later, Missouri. From here, it's 82 miles to the big blue river crossing.

44:34Ethan Nestor:Oh, we can make that in a day. We are going to make that in a day. We literally made it in a day. It's one day later. We're at the blue. Oh, it's like the middle of the night. How fast are we going? Wait.

44:45Mark Fischbach:It's grueling, Mark. It's grueling. We have 80 oxen. Holy. We have 40 oxen. No. 40. 40, yeah. No. 20. Our health is fair. We're at the big blue river crossing.

44:59Ethan Nestor:Our health is fair. Our pace is still grueling. Our rations are still meager. It's still warm out. Health's only fair. Do we need to up rations temporarily? Fair? I don't know what your definition of fair is. Fair is fair. Fair is fair. Fair is fair. That's what, yeah. Fair is fair. But what were we before? We were better than fair. Good or something. Fine. Well, we weren't even great. Fair is at least as good as whatever we were previously. And we're like three days from Oregon at our pace. So let's keep going. Let's keep going. Must cross the river. At this point, it's currently 222 feet across.

45:35Ethan Nestor:1.3 deep in the middle That's even less deep get on it. Oh, we're going why there's so many rivers I don't know whoever designed this place. Oh stupid America. It was a muddy crossing But you did not get stuck because it was a foot deep Yeah, you know what they say over the river it no through the river and over the woods through nope

46:02Mark Fischbach:Mark you okay? I'm gonna headbutt you a little bit You know what they say Under the river and over the woods Over the river and through the Through the river and through the woods Through the mountains Through we go Through grandmother's house I charge Through through Through through through I love that song

46:25Ethan Nestor:Our wife has exhaustion Oh god. Tell her to sleep. What the fuck? It's all that sex just wearing her out. Ugh, man. Grueling, am I right? At our pace. Can't you just ride in the wagon? Yeah, what's grueling about sitting in a wagon comfortably riding across the country to Oregon?

46:45Mark Fischbach:I guess it is a wagon going at a grueling pace just thinking through it.

46:50Ethan Nestor:It's fine. We found an abandoned wagon that had one set of clothing and 21 bullets in it. Loot! I guess yeah we looted it it didn't even give me an option We just did loot it This is barely anything What were they even thinking We made it to Fort Kearney boys Man this is easier than I thought it would be Yeah Fort Kearney is like in Oregon Isn't it It's July 13th 1848 we've been on the road for almost Two weeks and we're already at Fort Kearney How many miles 200 and some miles Where does it say that it doesn't say that on any of these screens That's fine We have supplies Do we want to change our pace, change our rations Do we want to stop and rest And do we want to buy any supplies We should rest We should rest a day Yeah, we should rest a day, but yeah, buy supplies Yeah, we should do that I hope to God they have grandfather clocks at Fort Kearney I hope so, I hope so And oxen Alright, they have oxen clothing Wagon wheels, wagon axles, wagon tongues Food, and leave store Oh, we might need more food.

47:56Ethan Nestor:Do we need more food? How's our food? We still have like over 900 pounds of food. Ah, get to 1 ,000. Yeah, let's get to 1 ,000, but we're not changing the food rations. Got it. Look, winter's coming.

48:09Mark Fischbach:Gotta have something to eat when we get there.

48:10Ethan Nestor:There's no food in Oregon. All right, we're back up to 1 ,000 pounds of food. Anything else we need? I mean, we haven't gone through anything, right? Oxen. We haven't lost any. Should I just see how many oxen in the lettuce? Lettuce? Lettuce? See if it'll give us more oxen. We want more oxen. I can only type in single digit numbers, apparently. All right. One yoke. You may only take 20 oxen.

48:35Mark Fischbach:Lie to him. Tell him we only have two. We should have thought about that before we started talking to him. Nah, it's all right. It's all right. All right. Let the wife rest. Then we'll be on the way.

48:44Ethan Nestor:Stop to rest. How many days are we resting? One. One day. Got it. I mean, it's one whole day. That took our health from poor up to fair and weather still warm Maybe we should go from fair to maybe one more day

48:59Mark Fischbach:Wait was all of our health poor?

49:02Ethan Nestor:There's only one health rating and it just says health fair

49:06Mark Fischbach:We need to go up one more notch. Can we rest one more day? Yeah, we want to be better than fair this time. We're gonna gruel We rested one more day. Our health is still fair One more day one more. Come on. All right. The best things coming threes

49:20Ethan Nestor:We don't want to overcommit to anything. Health is still fair. One more day.

49:25Mark Fischbach:Four is the magic number. All right.

49:30Ethan Nestor:One more day. Health is still fair. We have now rested, what was that, four days? Man, that's too much time. We need to hit the road. Just for context, we still have 20 oxen. We have 11 sets of clothes. We have 2001 bullets. Oh, wait, we only have 940 pounds of food. Oh, wait a minute. I did my math wrong. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, hang on, hang on. I'll top up the food and then we'll get out of here. Yeah, good. How much money we got left? Uh,$587. Oh, that's more than the farmer ever had. Yeah. Stupid idiot farmer thinks plants grow. On to the trail, boys. It's 250 miles to Chimney Rock. Inadequate grass?

50:10Ethan Nestor:Apparently we've encountered inadequate grass. I don't know what that means. Is that bad? Go faster. Through it. There's no grass here. Oh, we're coming upon a tree stump. What do we do? Oh, we pass a grave. It was not a tree stump. It was a grave site. Would we like to look closer at the grave site? No, nope. All right. Very little water. I'm sure that's fine. Weather's hot. How many rivers have we passed? Oh, hey, we're at Chimney Rock. Oh God, man. A lot of stuff happened. Yeah, we went. We have now traveled 554 miles. Our health is poor and the weather is hot, but we reached Chimney Rock on july 24th 1848 all right we rest three days and we should probably eat something while we rest i think our problem was we rested and didn't eat anything so you want to change the food rations yeah give us some good food while we're here all right filling food rations three days of rest you know what we haven't looked at yet is the map do we want to look at the map or is that for losers no we know where chimney rock is it's right next to house rock okay okay okay i'm gonna do we want to attempt to trade doesn't say with whom we could attempt to trade but it says we could attempt to trade yeah someone looks kind of shady oh wait that's our supplies yeah we have all the same supplies hang on no one wants to trade with us today apparently we look shady all right well we're resting for three days was that the consensus and with with food with good food yeah good food good food food rations are filling resting for three days health went from poor to The fair.

51:47Ethan Nestor:Awesome. Fair has gotten us here. Did we change rations before we hit the road? How much food did that take? That's an interesting thing that you asked. We're at 870 pounds of food right now. Jesus Christ. Three days? Well, I guess so. No, wait, that was from the travel before, right? Yeah, we started before the long, the 250 mile travel with a thousand pounds of food. We're not even hunted yet. We have 2 ,000 bullets. Yeah, we better start shooting some stuff. Shit. I really want to start shooting. We got to be cautious, guys. We can't be willy-nilly bullets and food out there

52:18Mark Fischbach:2 ,000 bullets! We can all just shoot two guns at a time and we won't run through that I think we got unlimited bullets over here

52:28Ethan Nestor:I mean that does sound like a lot of bullets I sort of thought there'd be more shooting on the Oregon Trail, I'm not gonna lie

52:34Mark Fischbach:I did too, I thought we'd stop and hunt more

52:36Ethan Nestor:I thought that was gonna be kind of a big part of it But we're grueling, we got gruel Alright, should we eat more as we grueling pace? I'll give you that But you know and if you want to hunt it's fine But we're going to be grueling

52:47Mark Fischbach:Let's eat more for this one stretch And if it gets to be too much we'll cut it again

52:51Ethan Nestor:Okay we're going to continue on to the trail With filling rations at a grueling pace

52:56Mark Fischbach:Do we slow down a little No we gruel We gruel we gruel They got full bellies Hey hey we're the leaders up here It's 86 miles to Fort Laramie It's easy Oh yeah we'll be there in two minutes How much can we possibly eat 86 miles Very little water Health is fair

53:16Ethan Nestor:Oh weather's rainy Heck How are we out of water? Yeah Open your mouths Water We ate down to 825 pounds of food And we have arrived at Fort Laramie That was stupid easy This game is easy I don't know what everyone complains about Yeah July 31st 1848 Fort Laramie wherever the hell this is Fort Laramie that's in Oregon

53:39Mark Fischbach:Is it? I don't know Oh okay good Every place we've gotten to, I've said, is that in Oregon?

53:45Ethan Nestor:We could buy supplies here, guys. Grandfather's? Food? Grandfather's food? We have 825 pounds of food. Let's buy supplies. We could buy oxen, clothing, bullets, wagon parts, and food. This is stupid. Are we buying food? Are we topping up on food? Yeah, top it off. Well, I don't know. Mr. Huntsalot over here thinks that we can get some food. Why do we need to waste our money getting more food? Am I topping us up to a thousand pounds of food or how much food? No, don't even top us off. We're going to need room for all the food we're going to hunt. All right. I'm buying zero pounds of food. Yeah.

54:20Ethan Nestor:Do we need to rest? Are we bad again? No, we don't even need to rest. That was 84 miles. It was tiny. We don't need to rest. Well, then we're hitting the trail, I guess. All right. And we're hunting. As soon as you see that hunt pop up. It's 190 miles to Independence Rock. Wait, didn't we start at Independence? we started in independence missouri which is a town in independence oh we went in a goddamn circle that's not good maybe we should have looked at the map lose trail we lost today we got lost it's fine i think we're fine no one looks at the map no one dares look at a map no maps weather's hot health is fair 795 pounds of food we need to hunt do we want to try and hunt just hunt just give them the hunt all right we're gonna hunt for food all right um oh this is like a game to play bob you got this you got this bob enter key to start or stop walking space bar to fire to point the rifle this really is rng because it's entirely out of our hands how this hunt's gonna go wow yeah i hope i'm a good hunter heck oh that's why we brought you you said you were the hunter probably i didn't realize i had to do this all right guys what should i kill Animals I got a deer

55:33Mark Fischbach:Get more than that Yeah You think that's 800 pounds? I don't Keep hunting Shoot more Just really lay them out Just you got bullets Just

55:42Ethan Nestor:Yeah I do have a lot of I'm just gonna Go go go go go Yeah go go go go Yeah Deer, buffalo, wolf, rabbit, squirrel I got a squirrel? Oh buffalo Come here dude Yeah kill that I got 134 pounds of meat I was only able to carry 100 pounds of it back to the wagon apparently Because I'm lazy Why didn't wife Tanya boy help Yeah I should have brought Tanya with me That's my bad Why didn't our stranger wife son help Alright well we got 100 pounds of food From that We're sitting at 880 pounds of food Look at us We could even hunt one more time you know I don't really want to do that I'd like to sit in the wagon some more please Alright fine gruel Alright we're moving again It's hot out health is fair We're 118 miles away from our next landmark Oregon?

56:33Ethan Nestor:Oh, we lost the trail We got lost for five days Oh my god What is happening? Why? Why? Okay Who's leading this thing? You guys What do you mean who's leading this thing? What kind of question is that? No, I can't be right We would never get lost Tanya has dysentery Well, we didn't even know Tanya Our health is listed as fair Yeah, that's true I'm not very attached to her We don't know Tanya Should we just press on? Yeah Alright, Tanya's dysentery, that's too bad That's too bad Very little water Oh, our health is poor We've reached Independence Rock

57:09Mark Fischbach:Alright, we rest for five days Well, man, this seems very arbitrary, what he's saying Yeah, he's just saying stuff I say we roll a dice between one and seven And let that decide

57:20Ethan Nestor:Oh, let me just get my D7 out You guys don't have a D7? No I have I have my d10 with commandments D6 plus one. Okay. Yeah d6 plus one Wade Wade D &D's this guy D &D's here's my what about d10 minus three You know what I like Mark's idea better D20 minus 13 Roll one d10 minus three

57:55Ethan Nestor:Alright, we're going. Damn it. I hope Tanya had a good negative one day of rest. Alright, wait, hold on. Okay, hold on. I'm beginning to think maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Oh really? You're thinking that, huh? Well, the dice said, I guess. Why'd you roll a dice with our health? We can't have any idols, so we can't idolize Tanya here. She'll get better. It smells like shit. We could have rested and at least cleaned her up. If you're walking the poop stays behind If you're staying in one place the poop's there Yeah you don't wanna hang around in your own filth We wanna hang her asshole out the back of the wagon Well we're not having her in the wagon In case she poops all in all of her stuff So she's gotta walk Yeah she's walking behind the wagon Yeah okay well so are we just Negative one days of rest We better get the fuck out of here The dice spoke we all agreed

58:47Mark Fischbach:Well uh hold on two of us agreed And one of us shouldn't even be talking because they're in the back, but... Well, we have an official means to do... to raise objections, and I'm not doing it. Oh? No, Wade's happy.

59:03Ethan Nestor:Wade's happy. Wade agrees. Well, let's get it over with. It's not going to go your way. Three heads, and it was fair. Three tails, and it was unfair, and Wade gets something. We'll decide what happens after the fact. I thought heads went to the person who called unfair. Heads, Wade wins. Tails, Mark wins. Yeah, he wanted to rest I think tails we don't only do we not arrest tails

59:26Mark Fischbach:We have to cut rations too. Yeah. Well. Oh, yeah, that's yeah, that makes sense.

59:31Ethan Nestor:It needs to be made even more fair All right, let's let's flip them gentlemen I got tails. Oh fuck wait, okay. You just cheat Why can't you two both see give me heads? All right. It was fair as is to the trail my boys Yeah, fucking Tanya's dying They're not giving us anything. We're 102 miles from South Pass. Easy. Two days. We'll be there. Weather's cool. Health is poor. Let's rock this bitch. There's good air up in the pass. Oh, there is good air up high. That's true. Good air. Good air. All right. There's very little water, apparently. Bob has a broken arm. What are we doing? We didn't know you were on this trip.

1:00:17Ethan Nestor:Why are you on this trip? I'm in the wagon. You're taking me to Oregon. on what since when i thought it was us tanya our wife and our son and me i was assumed to be there when did he get here he hunted for us what are you confused about it being here now oh i guess yeah that makes sense whatever and i'm not looking for sympathy i just have a broken arm let's do this unless you want to stop and size up the situation see if you should help me or can you walk yeah oh i can walk all right back to the grueling not broken leg huh yeah let's gruel All right. How'd you break your arm then? Inadequate grass.

1:00:53Ethan Nestor:Weather is hot. Very little water. Easy. Made it. We made it to the South Pass. Weather's hot. Health is poor. We've traveled 932 miles. All right. We rest for five days. We rest for 10 minus three days. Seven. D10. Oh. We have 610 pounds of food left.

1:01:18Mark Fischbach:we rest for 10 minus 3 days come on man no what is it maybe we shouldn't pay attention to this

1:01:30Ethan Nestor:but hey it says it's 4 so you know we get a day of rest oh we rest for one day alright and we get to honor the sabbath so that's

1:01:40Mark Fischbach:pretty cool I liked my d6 plus 1 a lot more than I like this stupid d10 minus 3 look you can roll that next time and then you're gonna laugh we rested for one day

1:01:54Ethan Nestor:and we have still have poor elf we're still eating filling rations so that's that's pretty right like all right and back to the trail how far to our next destination we could talk to people or attempt to trade what's our what's our food situation like uh what did i say 600 and 595 pounds of food right now could buy like a hundred pounds well it's not a store we would have to attempt to trade and see if anyone wants to trade with this oh i don't like strangers okay never mind we don't like strangers oh wait mark likes strangers no he said i i want him to have his opinion all right grueling pace hit the road grueling pace let's go oh we have to do we have to choose here we can look at the map that's not an option or we can head for green river crossing or Fort Bridger.

1:02:42Ethan Nestor:How far is each one? Doesn't say. I bet the map knows. Green River sounds really cool. Sounds like it's wet. We do need water. Yeah. If everyone's going to keep complaining about water, we should probably go to where there's water. Yeah. Yeah.

1:02:54Mark Fischbach:Fort River. Fort River. Fort River.

1:02:58Ethan Nestor:Fort. Yes. The most confusing fort ever named. Fort River Crossing. All right. We're going to the Green River Crossing. Let's do this. We are 57. We're only 57 miles from the Green River Crossing Our health is still poor But the weather is cool Let's go boys I feel like we're gonna make it I think we're gonna make it I think we're gonna make it and no one's gonna die Or have any inadequate grass popped up But whatever That doesn't seem to really matter When we get to Green River, all the grass you can eat August 25th, we are at the Green River Crossing

1:03:31Mark Fischbach:We rest for 1D6 plus 1 days, right? Here, you can roll your 6 plus 1 Roll it. Five days. Four plus one.

1:03:41Ethan Nestor:We're resting for five days. By the rest of August. Yeah, August kind of went by. Health went back up to fair. Fair's fair. We still have 20 oxen, 11 sets of clothings. We have 475 pounds of food, and I don't have any information. Wait, we could talk to people. Can we talk to Tanya? Is that the people we can talk to? I don't know. How does that work?

1:04:07Mark Fischbach:Uh, let's talk and find out. Big Louie wants to talk. Is that Tanya's middle name? Five dollars to ferry us over the Green River? Those ferry men will take a hundred dollars before breakfast. We'll keep downriver until we find a place to ford our wagon and animals. What little money we have left, we'll keep. Thanks, Big Louie. So we should take the ferry. I don't want to go all the way down the river. We should ferry.

1:04:31Ethan Nestor:There's no store, is there? There's no store. No. The river is currently 400 feet across and 20 feet deep in the middle We cannot just cross that That's 20 feet deep We can attempt to ford it We can cock the wagon and attempt to float it We can take the ferry Or we can wait and see if conditions improve

1:04:50Mark Fischbach:20 feet is not changing that dramatically Yeah, let me, let me I'm usually the person that's like Let's go, go, go through the river and through the woods, you know Yes I feel like we should exercise caution here I got a bad vibe Ferry

1:05:07Ethan Nestor:Alright, Ferry it is I almost just mistyped it and made us float our wagon Hang on Number three is what we want, got it 20 feet deep is pretty deep A ferry operator says he will charge you$5 And that you will have to wait four days Are you willing to do this?

1:05:22Mark Fischbach:Man, we should have rested after talking to this guy Because that's the day's arrest we could have, man Maybe we'll get up to good health again, though

1:05:30Ethan Nestor:All right, fine. We'll wait. It's now September. September 3rd, and we're on the ferry. These ferries can't, like, sink or anything, can they? It takes them four days to move 400 feet. Doesn't matter. Ferry got your party and wagon safely across. Five bucks, you know. Actually, that was pretty good. I don't know why the guy was saying 100 bucks, like, five bucks. That was nice.

1:05:51Mark Fischbach:Big Louie, more like big dummy.

1:05:55Ethan Nestor:Old cheapskate Louie over here. All right. It's 143 miles to our next landmark Soda Springs We have 415 pounds of food Health is good What the fuck Health is good Oh, so you should have listened to me Get those rations down Get those rations down So do we want to stop and hunt here somewhere? Alright, let's hunt Alright, very little water It says, we're gonna hunt for food

1:06:23Mark Fischbach:We just crossed the fucking river I don't have any like jars or pans or water skins.

1:06:29Ethan Nestor:This is not a good hunting ground.

1:06:31Mark Fischbach:Is there an option to hollow out one of our oxen and fill it with water and have it be dragged behind? I think they already have that. It's called a bladder. We just gotta pump them full of water and then we'll get water out of them.

1:06:42Ethan Nestor:I have a bear and a deer already. I got another deer. All right, there's no way I'm gonna be able to - There's no way I'm gonna be able to carry all this shit back to the thing. I'm being attacked by a bear! Okay, got him. Never mind. We're good. Watch out for those bears. Yeah those bears are Alright I got us 80 pounds of food For some reason I killed two bears and two deer And brought back half of one deer Alright Well hey you know Well we have 485 pounds of food And we can go to meager rations Oh that's true Fair health Wait what why is our health fair now What happened Whether it's warm health is fair Paces grueling rations are meager Let's go It's fine.

1:07:25Ethan Nestor:We're 60 miles out from our thing. Literally not a single complaint up inadequate grass. It's fine We're fine bad water. Oh, God. We're in soda Springs. It's fine

1:07:37Ethan Nestor:I'll have Coke zero actually please whether it's cool health is poor There's no store here, but we could attempt to trade if we so desire

1:07:45Mark Fischbach:I'll roll to see how long we rest why did you get to roll you did roll twice in a row you did twice Yeah, all right. Well, I got the next one for days three plus one All right, we rested four days. It is now September 15th. You know God only rested One one we're going back to your d10 minus three for the next one.

1:08:05Ethan Nestor:That's all right health is fair Do we want to try and talk to people or trade or anything or just get the hell out of here?

1:08:11Mark Fischbach:Yeah, we need more food right don't need more food now and I'll see if anybody wants to treat

1:08:14Ethan Nestor:Yeah, we are currently at 385 pounds of food That's half of what I want See this is what happens when you have filling rations No one wants to trade with us today We must stink or something Well so we can hunt again I guess

1:08:27Mark Fischbach:Yeah can you like bring more people along So they can carry more food

1:08:31Ethan Nestor:Nope I have very little input honestly Alright then you hunt We're going we gotta continue on the trail It's 57 miles to Fort Hall And then I'm gonna stop and hunt On the way How are you doing on bullets We have 1 ,985 bullets left. I think we're good.

1:08:50Mark Fischbach:We should be hunting a lot more than we are.

1:08:55Ethan Nestor:Alright. Here we go. Hunting time, baby. Watch out for bears. I killed a bear. Oh, nice. I got a fucking fast animals over here. I killed one bear, and there's a bunch of demon bunnies who are running past me at a thousand miles an hour. I killed a deer. Oh my god, that's the fastest deer in the history of deers. But it's fine. This is great. Is this riveting gameplay? As you get closer to Oregon, the animals do get faster. I remember that. I got us 295 pounds of food. What the fuck? Holy shit. We're up to 400. No, that's not how math works. We're up to 455 pounds of food. That's not how math works at all.

1:09:36Ethan Nestor:Did you carry any of it back? I'm going to be honest. I was in the act of hunting. I hit the space bar and I kind of skipped the summary screen because it just ended with no warning. But we have 455 pounds of food It's fine, we're fine, it's good I swear it's where we started No, we had 350, I think we got 100 pounds from that We can go more than meager, you know Are we turning up rations? Is that what we're saying? No, well not yet, but we will It's September 20th and we arrive at Fort Hall God, we're almost out of September? Almost When does September end? Someone remind me Somebody find me After the 30th day Weather is cool, health is fair, everything else is good They do have a store here

1:10:24Ethan Nestor:They sell all the same shit It's 40 cents per pound of food here Should I top us up? Wait, 40 cents per pound of food? That's about double what it was previously How much money we got? We have$567 Spend it on food Grandfather clocks I wish, dude Now all I want in the entire world is a grandfather clock in our wagon. All right, yeah, just get the food.

1:10:47Mark Fischbach:300 pounds of food. Yeah, 300 pounds of food. Can we afford that?

1:10:52Ethan Nestor:Yes, that was about$100. Or how does math work? That's some number of amount of food. Yeah, we're not going to eat money out in Oregon.

1:10:59Mark Fischbach:They got gold falling out of the hills. They don't have food. They got really fast bears. So we want as much food as we can get.

1:11:06Ethan Nestor:All right, we have$447. and now we have 735 pounds of food. We still haven't used any spare parts. We have 20 oxen. Well, I feel like we're way ahead of the game. Are we resting? Are we 1d10 minus three resting? Oh yeah, Mark, that's your roll. Can I just say we don't rest at all? No, roll. Six. We rest for three days and do not murder while we rest.

1:11:32Mark Fischbach:Are we upping the rations the rest of the way now? We should up them while we're resting,

1:11:36Ethan Nestor:but then never again okay so we're leaving it on meager rations well no up it then rest up it up it then rest yeah i definitely already rested before you even asked if we should change our rations because it takes two button impresses to do that well then up it for up it for a few days then we'll lower it later oh yeah fine up it i guess all right we topped on food top tip top we're 700 and what was it 700 and 700 and five pounds of food what's tipped up up to a thousand is that tip topping it yeah top it up and then filling rations for a bit all right we're gonna buy 300 more pounds of food i swear tanya's just shitting all this food straight out yeah tanya's really wasting it you're not getting any value out of this food we're at a thousand and five pounds of food and you want me to up the rations to filling all right we got filling rations we're still in a grueling pace and our health is fair excellent gotta gruel back to the trail yeah do we want to stop and hunt or anything on this next stint no we got food go all right 182 miles to the snake river crossing we're going it's gonna be good weather steak river i love steak uh impassable trail we just lost nine days what why nine it is it is now october 3rd oh well i wanted to celebrate

1:12:56Mark Fischbach:Halloween up there very little

1:12:58Ethan Nestor:very little water health is fair very little water Bob is dysentery oh shit probably caught it from Tanya I didn't say this out front but if I die everyone loses this episode we better rest how you feeling Bob shitty is resting an option oh it is an option look you could rest and die or we could gruel we grueled with Tanya or we could gruel and live how far until the next place? It's 100 miles. 100 miles. Okay, alright. Bob, I'm gonna pull you aside. You may not be the leader of this expedition, but I have a feeling that when you die, and it's not an if at this point, it's a when. When you die, we're all dead.

1:13:46So you just gotta get through these next 100 miles and don't die. Whatever you do, if If you see the light ahead of you, don't go towards it, but follow the wagon because you're not riding in it because we don't want you pooping all over our stuff. Those sets of clothes that are in pristine condition that we've never changed out of, you got to make sure they stay safe. So when you're walking behind us and you eventually start to get away, just remember, go faster. We're going to keep the pace. We're not slowing down for nothing because you're going to make it and then you're going to die. Okay, speech is over now

1:14:24Mark Fischbach:Well, a lot, can I stop plugging my ears now? I'm connected to your body No, you could have listened That was an inspirational speech for everybody No, that wasn't private at all

1:14:34Ethan Nestor:Alright, back to the trail, nerds Alright, well, you missed the most inspirational speech of your life So, that was your loss, buddy Well, I thought you and Bob wanted a moment

1:14:43Mark Fischbach:So I thought I'd give you a moment

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1:15:53Ethan Nestor:We're down to 795 pounds of food already, but it's fine. Well, how are you going to hunt if you're shitting yourself? That's what I'm saying. All right, there's very little water. There's bad water. Tanya has dysentery. That's not good. It's spreading. Health is very poor. Health is very... Oh, we made it. We're at the Snake River Crossing. See? Told you.

1:16:13Mark Fischbach:Oh, hope we rest a good amount of time here. Well, we're going to find out.

1:16:18Ethan Nestor:October 12 1848 We're at the snake river crossing

1:16:22Mark Fischbach:Mark we could

1:16:23Ethan Nestor:Just decide to rest for a while Health is very poor Are we doing Mark's role Yeah it's my role Snake river crossing where is this I'm looking at a map But I'm not Yeah should I look at the map or no map You don't look at a map I'm gonna look at a map and you look at my face And that'll judge where we are Okay alright

1:16:48Ethan Nestor:Actually we're at the snake river crossing is where we are yeah, we're at that way No, that's this is a completely different thing. Sorry. This went to three island crossing. I'm sorry. Hold on a second

1:17:00Oh

1:17:07It's close it's either really close or really far it's gotta be close by now

1:17:12Ethan Nestor:We've been going at a grueling pace the whole time For so long So long Alright I'm gonna roll Let's see 10 minus 3 We need a good rest bud

1:17:25Mark Fischbach:We need a good rest Hey Honor your parents 5 minus 3 2 days 2 whole days Alright

1:17:35Ethan Nestor:2 whole days of rest The food's up right The food's up Food's up Our health went all the way up from very poor to poor. Do we want to try to trade or talk to any big Louies? Maybe there's someone that can give you an inspirational speech. We have 690 pounds of food left, so we're doing okay on food.

1:17:53Mark Fischbach:I guess we'd get lost for nine days.

1:17:56Ethan Nestor:Yeah, we spent more than a week just randomly wandering around lost.

1:18:00Mark Fischbach:You really think three, two days? Stupid dice.

1:18:03Ethan Nestor:It's okay. The next one, assuming everyone survives, the next one will be your good roll, Wade. And you definitely will get a lot of days of rest on your good roll.

1:18:11Mark Fischbach:Oh boy, I hope so.

1:18:14Ethan Nestor:Back to the trail, let's fucking go. Yeah. Unless we want to try and trade or talk to people or... Let's try... Maybe... Okay, wait. You're equal parts of this body that we share, right? Thank you for noticing. How do you feel? Like a bitch? Or like a brave, brave, brave Oregon trailer? A poor trailer. We're a banker. We're never poor. That's true. How much money we got left? Three hundred and some amount of dollars. $327.

1:18:52Mark Fischbach:That's less than we once had, but more than some have. Wait,$327,$1849 to 2025. How much is that? All right. Look, we got$12 ,000. I'm going to tell you. Five people can't live. But let's say four or three could, right? You know what I'm saying? Three definitely could. Yeah, but if Bob dies, we all die. I don't know about that. His heart is connected to ours. Our fates are connected, yeah. That's true. That's true. All right. Okay. I'll leave it to you, buddy. Tell you this. You roll your dice. I'll roll my dice. I'll subtract my dice from your dice. We'll rest that many more days. if your if your destiny holds it true that we should rest then your dice will beat my dice i rolled a five five plus one so it's six minus did you roll a fucking 10 this time no i rolled exactly six but you do minus three so that's six minus three right oh yeah if you did okay all right okay so we're resting for three days is that the is that how we're doing it or is there a solid number all right you're right you're right you're so right i forgot about my penalty wait pem dos

1:20:13Ethan Nestor:are we doing pem dos correctly wait a second because if we're just doing a flat d6 minus a

1:20:18Mark Fischbach:d10 i feel like i was at a disadvantage yeah i said that i didn't you yeah no i think that was

1:20:24Ethan Nestor:is a point all right we're resting for three more days oh that'd be a five minus six it's

1:20:28Mark Fischbach:either three days or negative one you got your three you got your three you're resting for three

1:20:33Ethan Nestor:more days and our health went from poor to still poor weather's cold it's october 17th 1848 tomorrow is my birthday boys we gotta get moving it's his birthday we should probably change clothes back to the is that an option i don't know you said it's cold it's not an it's not an option All right, let's go

1:20:52Mark Fischbach:Well, hit the road Look at the nice clothes we bought

1:20:55Ethan Nestor:Yeah, we've got all these great clothes for later Oh, this is a river crossing We have to cross the river The river is currently a thousand feet across And six feet deep in the middle

1:21:04Mark Fischbach:Six is pretty deep for a wagon and oxen, isn't it? Yeah Can we ferry without having to wait a week?

1:21:11Ethan Nestor:We can attempt to ford it We can caulk it We can hire an Indian to help Or we can wait to see if conditions improve Those are the listed options That was a new option. I haven't seen that option. That's a new option. I like new. New options. Cool. All right. We're doing new stuff. Yeah, I think we hire an expert. All right. A Shoshone guide says that he will take your wagon across the river in exchange for two sets of clothing. Will you accept this offer? We don't even need all that clothing. We got so many clothes. Plus, we can give them the clothes that we took off the dead people. Yeah. We accept.

1:21:45Ethan Nestor:Shoshone guide will help float your wagon across. Wait, we're floating? I thought we were, what, okay We're floating apparently Yeah, but with an expert Expert floating, floating expertly, everything's fine Big river We had no trouble floating the wagon across the river Thousand feet was pretty long, but we were longer Two sets of clothes, well bartered Alright Oh yeah It's 113 miles to Fort Boise Weather is cool, health is poor But it is Boise, that's in Oregon It is my birthday Wow, happy birthday Happy birthday, are you still disembarrassing, are you feeling better? 630 pounds of food shall we hunt or go oh are we stopping to hunt no 630 pounds pretty good.

1:22:27Ethan Nestor:Oh wait. No, it's his birthday very little water. It's not my birthday anymore It's now October 21st Ox wanders off ox wanders off lose three days Alright, whatever, okay

1:22:41Mark Fischbach:We could have just lost one. We have 30 oxen inadequate grass Oh, damn the grass again

1:22:47Ethan Nestor:We made it to Fort Boise, everything's fine We have 510 pounds of food left Okay, who rolls this time? I've lost track Couldn't tell ya We still have 20 oxen, apparently we got the ox back 510 pounds of food We rest 3 days 2 plus 1 is 3 Minus Oh, it was only a 1 You're looking Alright, we rested 3 days, it's October 29th Our health is fair Hey, we're fair. Yeah, fair's not bad. Fair's fair. Are we gonna buy any supplies? Do we want to do anything here? Yeah, food, and then we gun it straight for Oregon. Food is 45 cents a pound here. All of it. What is all of it? As much as we can afford. I'm gonna buy 500 pounds of food.

1:23:34We are so close to Oregon. We are so close.

1:23:38Ethan Nestor:We're basically there. If I remember right, Boise you can throw a stone and hit Oregon We have 102 dollars left And we have 965 pounds Of food There is no way that Bob dies Two inches from Oregon Do you want to change the rations at all Or we just Nah we just bought more Keep it filling but gruel it Well maybe we should meager it Daddies? Daddies are fighting? Yeah head butt Alright he hit me so I guess he wins Wade wins. Violence trumps everything else. Let's go, boys. Hey, I've given you the whole trip at grueling. Grueling it is. From Fort Boise, it's 160 miles to the Blue Mountains. 160? Oh, we're gonna get lost like six times.

1:24:23Ethan Nestor:Everything's fine. Everything's fine. It is now November. Weather's still cool. Health's still fair. Keep wife away. No nutting this month. Literally nothing is happening. We're just casually walking. You are now at the Blue Mountains. What an easy trip. Health is fair, weather is cold And we're at the Blue Mountains We can attempt to trade, there's no store This is literally Oregon We are in Oregon There's no way we don't succeed from here Right now Well then we definitely don't need to rest, we just go Are we resting? Well Mark, it's Mark's roll, right? Mark, do you want to roll or are we just skipping?

1:24:58Ethan Nestor:Oh, I got a one last time I rolled So it's negative two, so definitely no rest Alright, back to the trail Let's go, we got 860 pounds of food Let's get the hell out of here How far is it to the other mountains? Oh, wait, we have a choice We can head for Fort Walla Walla Or head for the Dalles How far is each one? Do we know? Doesn't say We could look at the map, maybe, if we wanted to know Ah, well, we don't do that

1:25:24Mark Fischbach:Yeah, I didn't think so I like the sound of Walla Walla, but the Dalles could be where the gold is Oh, I was gonna say I like the sound of the Dalles The Dalles could be where the gold is Let's go Dalles, the Fort they've already taken all the money

1:25:34Ethan Nestor:Go into the Dalles Alright, no, oh no I was gonna roll for it Nah, we came to, we decisively concised Yeah, those forts never really did us any good anyway It's 125 miles to the Dalles Shit, let's do it Plus we can stop and hunt, I still have a whole shitload of bullets to shoot at stuff Nah, nah, save them, we're gonna need them Nah, save it for the people taking our gold Alright, let's walk to the Dalles A thief comes during the night and steals 11 oxen Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him I wish I would Shoot him, shoot him, shoot him Edward he's gone already he came in the night 11 oxen that's like half 11 oxen they stole 11 oxen inadequate grass well now we gotta shoot one to make it even again now we have an odd number of oxen very little water severe blizzard lose one day oh we should we stop and reassess why did we go to the dals should we stop and reassess or should we continue gruel gruel we're grueling those thieves are gonna get us we're not gonna wait by the thieves bad water health is very poor.

1:26:35Ethan Nestor:Bob has more dysentery. Cold, impassable trail. Lose six days. It's November. What? It's November 17th. We're so close. 22 miles to the Dalles. Bob, just don't shit for 22 miles. Inadequate grass. I'm holding it in. I'm holding it in. We made it to the Dalles. Oh, Tommy, this is the end of the trail. Where else are we going? Total miles traveled 1771. We are at the Dalles. November 19th. Weather's cold health is very poor. We can talk to people, attempt to trade, rest, or... Oh, fuck.

1:27:09Mark Fischbach:We gotta rest here, right? Very poor? We gotta rest. Yeah, we gotta rest. It's your role, isn't it? Yeah, I think it's Mark's role. Oh, ye of little faith. I got an eight minus three. That's five days of pure rest. Five days of... He won't die.

1:27:25Ethan Nestor:Bliss. During these five days. It is going to be almost December by the time we're done resting. Our health went all the way up to poor. Hey! That's enough to get us there We have 575 pounds of food And$102 And 1 ,982 bullets Okay Back to the trail, try and trade with people What do we think? How far are we to our next destination? Doesn't tell me until we already passed this choice Alright, hit the road We're grueling The trail divides here You may float down the Columbia River Or take the Barlow Toll Road What is your choice? How much is the toll? It doesn't say. I read you every single word on the entire screen just now.

1:28:10Ethan Nestor:If we float down the river, we'll have water. Everyone keeps moaning about the water situation, but also it's winter. Pole road means it's in good condition. That's probably true. We started this as a banker for a reason. If this was a farmer, they would be down that river like fools. If we were a carpenter, they'd be like, I can build a boat. I can build that. And they'd be dead. So we're paying the tolls? Paying the toll. Put our faith in the money. That's why we got it. You must pay$9.50 to travel the Barlow Road. Are you willing to do this? That's so little money.

1:28:50Mark Fischbach:Easy.

1:28:52Ethan Nestor:Oh, pay him 10. Flex on him a bit. It's 100 miles to the Willamette Valley. Is that where we end the trail? God knows, Wade. I told you, I don't know the first thing about this. I thought we just had to get to Oregon. Let's gruel, boys and girls. There's got to be the last dress. There's got to be. You find an abandoned wagon and there's one set of clothing inside of it. Hey, perfect.

1:29:18Mark Fischbach:Put it on Bob. He's shitting everywhere. Ah, broken wagon wheel. Would you like to try and repair it? No, replace.

1:29:23Ethan Nestor:No, no. We got spares. So I just say no? Wait, hold on. My option is broken wagon wheel. Would you like to try to repair it? Yes or no? No. You did not repair the broken wagon wheel. You must replace it with a spare part. Okay. Yeah. I feel like if you tried to repair it, you would have gotten ground up in it for some reason. Right, right, right. Uneventful. We have arrived at the Willamette Valley on November 30th, 1848. Excellent. And we're there. This is the end. Congratulations. You have made it to Oregon. Let's see how many points you have received. Oh, we grueled. Five people in poor health, 1500 points.

1:30:05Ethan Nestor:One wagon, 50 points. Nine oxen, 30. Oh yeah, I forgot we lost over half our oxen on that last stretch. Stupid thief. 36 points, eight spare wagon parts, 16 points, 10 sets of clothing, 20 points, 1 ,982 bullets is worth 39 points. 485 pounds of food, 19 points. 92.50 in cash, 18 points for a total of 1 ,698 points. I'm not gonna lie, I've never won Oregon Trail. Never. I don't know that I did either. I've only heard that you can't win it. I thought the joke was that it was so impossibly hard that if you actually finished and got to Oregon, it was like a weird miracle and you weren't supposed to do that.

1:30:48Mark Fischbach:If there's one thing we've learned, it's gruel, hunt, pay for the ferry, and only rest in town.

1:30:54Ethan Nestor:Guys, we made the top 10 list. We are the sixth highest score on the top 10 list. Stephen Meek has over 7K. Celinda Hines has 5 ,600 points. Andrew Sublette, Ezra Meeker, both in the 2000s. David Hastings also in the 2000s. And then us. What the hell? They all cheated. Ours is the only legit score. We are the sixth best. Oh, should I put distractible or Mark and friend or what? Distractible, distractible, distractible.

1:31:30Mark Fischbach:Yeah, we got to advertise. It's free. Distractible. We know most of our fan base comes from the Oregon Trail leaderboards.

1:31:37Ethan Nestor:Distractible is number six at 1 ,698 points. How did we do that? How the hell did we do that? I don't. Was that just the stupidest luck ever? I don't know. Yeah. I was not making good decisions. I was doing the opposite of what I would ordinarily do in a game that entire time. Gruul and starve. Gruul and starve. Gruul no food. No food. No rest. No rest. I don't understand. I don't either.

1:32:06Mark Fischbach:We also left during the worst possible month, I would have thought.

1:32:10Ethan Nestor:Yeah, well, we didn't arrive until December almost, so we traveled into winter. Yeah, that last stretch was pretty bad, but honestly, you know. Most of that was fine That's not what I thought the Oregon Trail was gonna be like at all I'm not gonna lie

1:32:25Mark Fischbach:Well we're happy to have popped your Oregon cherry I'm not as happy about that but I'm happy for you We did that for you And I appreciate it And Tanya, wife, and boy are still alive

1:32:35Ethan Nestor:Yeah, Tanya survived, our wife survived And teenage boy, teenage son survived On top of us making it I guess it's time to read the points Wade, you earned points for Penis nipples, naughty hours sleepy river segue point tanya rationale two guns at a time an equality point and for popping my cherry leaving you with nine total points mark you earn parts for what in the fuck did i just say you're in parts for uh purple mark seizure warning mark uh make sure you censor that editors solipsism our wife fuck farmers bum but i'm bum bum bum bum bum fair is fair through the river and over the woods and d10 minus three leaving you with nine points oh i've got to be honest i got so into the oregon trail stuff that i sort of stopped paying as much attention to the points so they really they really slowed down but that was that was actually i thought that was gonna be miserable i thought we're gonna have to like restart That was just fun.

1:33:41Ethan Nestor:We did it. It was a reason it was a great game when we were young. Yeah. Next Amazon trail. That actually is

1:33:47Mark Fischbach:impossible. It is impossible, but God, it's so fun.

1:33:50Ethan Nestor:Alright, there you go. Oregon Trail Part 2. The Amazon Trail. Or The Wrath of Bezos. What am I looking at? Oh, this is the wrong wheel. This is for something else. Oh, okay. I do other... I have other wheels, okay? That's alright. I keep other wheels. Are you cheating on our podcast? Maybe. How many bonus points? That's the real question. And it's three, just like it always is. Okay. Just like it always is. Gotta keep it interesting.

1:34:18Mark Fischbach:That's good for you, Bob, because we're tied right now.

1:34:20Ethan Nestor:Past results.

1:34:22Mark Fischbach:Three, three, three, two, two, three,

1:34:24Ethan Nestor:three, three.

1:34:25Mark Fischbach:We never get one.

1:34:26Ethan Nestor:One. Our last one was on June 10th. Oh, that

1:34:29Mark Fischbach:was three dysenteries ago.

1:34:31Ethan Nestor:Oh, I had an idea for this, actually. I wanted to add a fuck you tile. It's zero points. That's a good point.

1:34:39Mark Fischbach:Oh, yeah, that's clever. Just so that we have more... Fuck him.

1:34:42Ethan Nestor:Fuck him. God damn it. No point. Fuck you. No point. Fuck him. And three spins, starting with...

1:34:56Ethan Nestor:Happiest contributions. I don't know. We had some weird dreams. Mark had probably the least happy contribution with the... Which I'm sorry. I just have to censor again. Which weirdly enough wasn't a thing. And I wasn't exactly the nicest during the game. Yeah, I think this is Wade, I guess. Yeah, by default. I went by default. Yeah, like Wade wasn't like painfully happy, but he was not Mark during this episode. Can't argue that. That is true. Which is funny because happiest doesn't mean funniest. And I do think some of your stuff was funny, Mark. It was just also, it was really reckless. You really risked Tanya a lot, okay?

1:35:38Ethan Nestor:And I like Tanya, I think. She shit a lot. She shit. Basically, I dissed her the whole time. Tanya and I just most callbacks. Oh, what an applicable thing. Mark saw two paths. That's a callback to a previous episode.

1:35:53Mark Fischbach:Yeah, the two paths callback was probably the best callback to another episode. I did, I did, I did. We both called back to the same jokes during this one, but Mark had the callback to the two paths.

1:36:04Ethan Nestor:I did I did I'd give that to him. I want to say it's mark which means that this third spin will be the deciding factor Unless there's no point fuck you. I'm certain it won't land on no point fuck you just to give it to myself Or a point for Bob don't do that. Oh Wait what happens That's Bob no no Is it no we don't do that no no no we've done that tall stuff the competitors Otherwise, it would always be a point for Bob. I should probably just have shut my mouth and taken that one. But no Wheel of Torture for me. With 11 points, Wade takes the Oregon Trail victory. I'm on a losing streak. I was doing so good.

1:36:49Ethan Nestor:Didn't you host the last episode that I won to host this one? I'm on a losing streak. God, I'm on such a bad losing streak. He's lost one in a row now. One loss in a row! I know, I know. Yeah, feel only so bad for me.

1:37:07Mark Fischbach:You might have a sponsored loser speech. Oh, he do. Wade, why don't you go ahead and give your winner speech first? Well, I thought this was a really fun episode that hearkened me back to the days of my youth. And I really enjoyed Oregon Trail. And back then, we didn't have nearly as many gaming options. I remember it was like we had Mavis Beacon Typing, which was kind of like a game. and then it was Oregon Trail in school at least. I mean at home I guess there were other options but like in school getting a day to play Oregon Trail was so cool so it was really nice to play it again. Thank you.

1:37:38Ethan Nestor:Today's loser's speech is brought to us by Venmo. You've probably heard of Venmo but did you know that Venmo is for more than paying your friends back? With the Venmo debit card you could spend your balance in so many ways. You can Venmo this and that and well everything. Sadly for Mark he couldn't Venmo his way out of being today's loser but that's okay you have a speech bud loser speech for the loser so thank you for uh taking all of my advice i do credit myself with the win of oregon trail as a whole but you know i still lost and that's doesn't feel fair but hey it's probably not fair well what can you do it's almost definitely not fair i mean we all made it to oregon and somehow mark was the only one of all three of us that lost.

1:38:22Ethan Nestor:It's weird. Yeah. If only I could toss a coin, but Wade wasted it by arguing about resting. I think that was strategical. Wade knew the outcome would be weighted in his favor, and he burned that before he could... Anyway. Well, thanks. Is that... Are y 'all done? Yeah, I'll find a way to pay my friends back. I don't like that very much. Oh, Bob and I'll determine the amount you owe us. Yeah, I'll send you a request. Once again, today's loser speech was brought to you by Venmo. Whatever your thing is, you can pay for it with the Venmo debit card. Visit Venmo.me slash debit to learn more. That's V-E-N-M-O dot M-E slash V-E-B-I-T to learn more.

1:39:02Ethan Nestor:Venmo purchase restrictions apply. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank and a pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. Card may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted. Good game, boys. That was fun. I was honestly unsure if that would work, and I can't tell if anyone other than myself had a lot of fun with it, but I enjoyed that immensely. Wade said he had fun. I believe you. Listeners, viewers, thanks so much for hanging out through this. Don't worry. I didn't show anything on screen, so if you only listened, you didn't miss anything. If you thought there should have been information that you didn't hear, it's just because we didn't explain it at all.

1:39:35Ethan Nestor:It's not just you. Nobody got that. It's fine. Make sure you follow the podcast so that you get notifications when episodes go live. Make sure you follow all of us on our socials and other platforms. Markiplier, LordMinion777, Minion 7777 How many 7? 3 7's And my skirm That is it for this episode Mark Mark's not gonna host the next one Cause he's a loser Wade's going to host the next one. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. That got mean. That got mean. Sorry. Wade's going to host the next one. Good job, Wade. Until then, thanks for watching and listening. And that's it. Podcast out.

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