Please Be Nice

24:38At the end of the season, we'll quarter you up and put most of you in the freezer, and then you'll be delicious.

24:43Mark Fischbach:Oh, cow version of oats. I know what that means. Oh, you mean the pig bit.

24:52I'm really banging on all cylinders today. I will get the segue point. Wade could get the segue point, and maybe I'll give it to you because it feels stupid to give it to myself. But can I just say, my foot is messed up. I complained about this last time. It's still messed up. It's potentially going to take a couple months to heal all the way up. Months? What'd you do? I have a big fucking open wound on the bottom of my foot Well yeah I know but I don't know if you ever told us what caused it Poor foot care

25:16Mark Fischbach:Poor foot care? Poor I thought you said whore Broke ass foot care It's not that crazy it sounded like what he said Yeah I hired a hooker she really messed up my foot Maybe I was insulting the brand of products I was using Those whores messed up my foot God damn CeraVe I would never talk bad about you CeraVe you the best i love you guys i know sarah b that's a pokemon so i don't know sarah b or sarave people say which i think is wrong anyway it's just a brand of like skincare products but uh they're very good they have very good unscented lotion my foot's all fucked up at a point in time where what i want to do most you know in my free time is drive to all the stores in my area and see if they have any of the pokemon cards on the shelf for retail that i can buy because i can't order If I could order them online, I would.

26:06But anyway, my foot's messed up. I'm not supposed to be walking, so stay off as much as possible. And that is the topic of today's episode. I need your help. And I know we've done this a lot in the past, but the premise on this one is a little bit different. I need your help. Each of you is going to suggest to me things that I can do to entertain myself without having to use my foot. But I'm going to pick the top thing that each of you ends up offering me, and I'm going to do them in the next week. And whomever's thing I prefer in actually, and I'm going to record myself on my GoPro mission one, even though they're dead to mark, I'm going to record myself doing them and then give you feedback.

26:49And whoever's I like the most, that's a bounty. The bounty is give Bob hobbies that will keep him entertained. because I try I was like I can't really give you a point whoever wins because I'm keeping points whoever wins this I can't give someone points next week when I'm not the host presumably I won't be but I feel like I can create a bounty right is this okay is this within the guidelines is everyone okay with that so I want to I want to create this bounty and I am going to do whatever it is we come up with i'm going to do it both of your ideas for the next week and then as fair and honestly as possible pick who gets the bounty points in the next episode i have this titled in my notes as please be nice because i i immediately was like we could we always do like fuck ass things to each other and it's always like oh well i need to i need to wash my car help and we're like well piss on it and then rub some shit in there i'll polish it up i'm gonna do this please i have this This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT.

27:52Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.

28:18Mark Fischbach:Mark this is our chance we could go real hard on him Remember that sour challenge he was too sick to do That's not a hobby Your hobby is eating sour Shit Just eat sour candy for three Straight hours But anyway the floor is open I feel like you guys know me pretty well You know I like you know what I like I like tech I'm recently into all These things but I would like Suggestions it could be stuff that you Enjoy it could be things that you feel like I might enjoy could be anything could be something none of us know anything about I will try it as long as it conforms to I'm supposed to walk as little as possible I can go places if it's like I need to go somewhere and walk inside and sit down I can totally do that but Wade you look pregnant with an idea oh thanks man I've been working on that well you don't look pregnant with a baby so I feel like that was obvious what you got help me out so this one's more of something I've really enjoyed I've been getting more into uh you're getting into the Pokemon cards.

29:18Mark Fischbach:So whenever I started looking into the cards, whenever I started getting back into Pokemon in general, even I, so I played every mainline Pokemon game except for like gen three when it first came out, cause that was just a phase of my life where I thought it was too cool for Pokemon or something. And after gen five, like black, white, black, two whites, too, I kind of like, eh, I'm not really enjoying the games quite as much anymore. And then looking at the cards and stuff, it's like, I don't have a connection to any of the new Pokemon cause I didn't really give a shit about any of their games.

29:42Mark Fischbach:One of the ways I've really gotten a feel for enjoying more variety of Pokemon and getting more appreciation is through some fan-made Pokemon games. There's been some really crazy fan games and like ROM hacks that have been a lot of fun. There's one called Emerald Rogue, which turns Pokemon into like a roguelike. And it's really fucking difficult. If you like challenges, it's really hard. PokeRogue, I think I've told you about. PokeRogue is like a web browser game. You can play it on your phone, you can play it on your tablet, computer, whatever. It's just a web browser. That one's also challenging, but it gets easier over time because every time you catch something you have a chance of starting with it the next time you can lower cost to have more things on your team like it'll make sense as you get into it i still play poker rogue i've been dabbling in it for forever and out of 1025 pokemon i'm missing four total in my decks like i've almost completed the full decks at this point good gravy but i mean i play half hour to an hour increments and it's like okay and i'll come back can you play that on mobile i feel like i've seen you You can play it on like your phone or your iPad or something.

30:43Mark Fischbach:Yeah, yeah. PokeRogue you can. And some of the fan games you can't, like the ROM hacks you can as well. I still recommend owning the game, right? Like I own, I don't download games I don't own. So like I'll own Pokemon Emerald before I do something like that. Some of the fan games are also really good. There's Pokemon Unbound. And I just started one called Pokemon Rejuvenation. Rejuvenation increases the shiny rate. So you can shiny hunt. It's like a 1 in 100 chance of getting a shiny instead of 1 in 5 ,000. You could just restart. for 20 minutes and get a shiny starter if you want. I just started streaming that one recently, and I've been having a lot of fun with it.

31:16Mark Fischbach:Interesting. Different Pokemon fan games and stuff, I think, one, are more fun than a lot of the mainline games have been lately. And you can play a lot of them on mobile. Some of the fan games you can't because they're not... You can do it on Android. Maybe you're an Android guy. I can't do it on iOS. But those give me a new appreciation for a lot of the Pokemons. Whenever I see the cards, I'm like, oh, here's this Pokemon I didn't give a fuck about, but now I do because it helped me in Pokerogue a lot and stuff like that. So I think it makes it more fun. I could do that. I like video games. And they're really fun and interesting games.

31:45Mark Fischbach:Some of them have their own versions of Pokemon. They're called Fakemon. They'll make their own regional variants for their own Pokemon, which I was kind of eh on at first, but I'm also like, oh, those are kind of cool. Now, good suggestion. Mark, you look like you're pregnant too. Yes, I am. Bob, have you ever considered day trading? I have, actually, yes. Now, I'm not saying it's for everybody. Only for the bravest among you, right? You don't even need to understand what you're buying. You don't need to do any research. You just need to look at charts, right? There's something, I forget the name of it, but it's like the study of the chart is all you need to know about the future.

32:29Just like, you know, you take a bunch of animal bones and you shake them in your hand and you go, and you're like, oh, I see the future. Isn't that what witches do? Among other people not just witches, but you know, I'm just saying in general which is Small children lots of people do it with where do you think pickup sticks came from it used to be pickup bones And then people started learning the truth and not picking them up because you have to be able to see to understand Exactly, so all you need to do is get some fancy lines get a marker get a get an erasable monitor Right or something like that or you could have your phone you could do on your phone, too I was like, what's the whole, you mean a whiteboard?

33:07No, you mean like a monitor I could draw on. I guess you could just get a dry erase marker, you know. Like a zoomer being like, I should make something that's like an erasable monitor. Like you could write on it, but then you wipe it.

33:20Mark Fischbach:Is it an erasable monitor? Is that what that's called? Remember pencils and paper in the old days, man? No, you got to see it on the chart. What, are you going to have your chart on the paper? You got to draw the chart each time? No, you got to just start drawing lines and stuff. Yeah, you're just trying to scrape that little bit of profit every time. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Is this the kind of thing where you need to wear a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and unbuttoned on the top and you look a little sweaty and disheveled and you have like the tie on that's also partially undone? I'll make my Charlie from It's Always Sunny room with the red yarn on the board.

33:52And yeah, actually, I forgot. I forgot one crucial detail. You need six monitors or nine, depending like six or nine. I know you're surrounded by charts. Buy here, sell here, buy here, sell here Buy, buy, buy, sell, sell Don't even need your feet Does day trading include Forex? I'm gonna say yes I don't even know what that means Well, cause Mark got kinda into Forex a little bit When we were in college And I was always really jealous Cause I didn't have any money But you were like showing me the charts and stuff And being like, look, this is a J-hook And this one's gonna be a rebound And I was like, god, that does sound fun I would do that if I had any dollars at all For everyone at home this was a long time ago when I was very dumb don't do this this is a joke It was in a period when you were also like hunting for shit to care about because like you're it was in college Like everyone does stuff in college No I would this was before any of my health stuff it was it was like sophomore year or something like junior I can't remember But I do remember one trade going bad and me sitting in like a public bathroom looking at my phone just hyperventilating like Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh, oh fuck, oh, go back up.

35:05Oh no! So I learned my lesson and I don't do that, but you could.

35:11Mark Fischbach:Yeah, I think you're saying that I should. But my grandpa used to delve into like, whenever I turned 11, he was like, all right, son, you're too old to get toys, so we're going to give you stock. And I was like, okay, grandpa, but like this new video game sounds really, no. Nude video game, eh? We're going to buy stock in Chiquita. and we put like a hundred dollars in Chiquita banana and like it boomed and we went from a hundred to like a thousand and he was like alright now we're gonna take that out we're gonna dump it all into Ford Motor Company and then Ford like fucking crashed and we lost it all we're gonna let it ride so I I went from like oh god crap I got a thousand I can buy like a new bicycle he's like no we're putting it into Ford and Ford just tanked and we lost he's like sometimes you lose son I was like, I just wanted the new toy.

36:01It couldn't have gone to zero, though, right? Because Ford's still around.

36:05Mark Fischbach:No, it might even still exist. I might need to do one of those recovery things where, like, oh, yeah, I've got stock and something from, like. You never sold, so you never lost. Yeah, that's still worth the exact same amount that it was when you put it in. Because you don't have to convert that. You don't have to do the new value until you transfer it again. Yeah, I got like one share of stock a year for like three years. I'm sure I'm rich now if I look at it. What was this, like 1942? What the hell do you think I am? You know, I have suspicions. I have suspicions. When was the stock market invented?

36:38I'm assuming it was soon after that. Were these physical pieces of paper handwritten or were they printed with a printing press? Okay, I see where it went down. If it was like 2001 or something and then it went down, it has not recovered since then. so you probably had the same amount. All right, I still got my three shares at$1 apiece. But if there's dividends, if there's dividends, you might actually have a good amount of money.

37:03Mark Fischbach:I remember back when I was alive during the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression and things were rock bottom. I was like, ooh, buyer's market, everyone. And they were begging for bread. Good times, good times. Was this an online thing, though, or did you, like, literally, did you, like, have a paper thing? oh my grandpa would we had the good old windows like xp computer we'd go to like some website i think and we get uh the letters in the mail from i don't know whoever it's been it's been years i mean honestly you should look just because i'm curious but i don't know i don't know how that works i don't know if have you ever looked at unclaimed property no because i don't know if that works for stocks but like you know there's like there'll be cash in your name and the unclaimed property thing if you like search on the state records or something i've got a few rich uncles somewhere in the middle east that i've gotten emails from over the years but uh i've not looked at unclaimed cash uncle prince yeah you're the same one yeah we all have uncle prince that's my uncle he's king now he was formerly known as prince oh i see anyway that's my idea i like that and wade if you don't find those shares of stock i will never forgive you yeah it says their dividend is like 4%.

38:14I don't know if it's always been that, but if that was like 20 years ago, that's a lot of money. Wade finds his three shares of stock and the people at Ford are like, ah, fuck. Shit, we thought he died. God damn it. He actually owns the company now.

38:30Mark Fischbach:I come back in here, I'm just wearing a higher crown. Boys, it's me, King Ford. God, he really understands the companies. You should be in charge. You're the guy, man. This is what they get for doing away with the tire crown. I have my axle rod scepter, my tire crown. Look, I'm still mad at four because they're going to discontinue the WF-150 Lightning. So you get over there and you give them what four. I'll tell them, man. I'm going to go over and I'm going to give them the what four. I own that company now. Two strong suggestions. We might just end the episode there and I'll just pick those because those both sound very good.

39:06But let's not, though. Wait, what else should I do? to fill my sad, sad time when my foot doesn't. I mean, it hurts a little. It's sore, you know, and it's like, ah, God, come on foot. It doesn't hurt that bad, but I'm so sad about it and I'm stuck, stuck in here.

39:20Mark Fischbach:I don't know how you feel about these, but this is something I personally want to do because I've not watched these in forever. I want to do a Batman movie marathon where I go back and I watch even like the old like like all the way Adam West. I've never watched those. I might go back that far, but at least like, you know, the 80s, 90s, like Batman, Batman forever Arnold Schwarzenegger freeze and up through the Nolans and then uh uh Pattinson's Batman I've also never watched the Penguin series but anyway I used to love Batman as a kid that was like my favorite superhero so I got super into it and my dad and I used to watch so uh I kind of just want to go back and re-watch all those to see how they all hold up because I've got memories of like Christopher Walken in one of the Batman movies and I've not seen it since I was a kid so I'm like who was he but I feel like whenever I picture him I combine him with like what was it Marv from Home Alone, like when he gets shocked.

40:08Mark Fischbach:I feel like they're the same. Those images are blurred in my mind. I must see this movie and sort out the memories. I want to do a Batman movie marathon, so maybe you'd enjoy a movie marathon of one of your old favorite franchises or Batman or something. Oh, it doesn't have to be Batman necessarily? Well, that's the one I'm suggesting specifically, but I don't know if Batman's for you. I do love, generally love the Dark Knight trilogy, and I like Batman. As far as, for someone who doesn't care that much for superheroes in general, Batman's definitely near the top of the list where I'm like, yeah, I'll watch Batman.

40:39Knitting. You might genuinely enjoy knitting. You boring piece of shit. You look like someone Oh man, we didn't earn points. I had to commit to you just look like you need the thrill of two knitting needles and constant movement.

41:03Mark Fischbach:I wonder how many people that watch this knit and they're just so angry right now, threatening you with their needles. Dude, a lot. A lot of them are probably crocheting, but a lot. There's so many times, I'm sure you guys know, at this podcast where you'll start a sentence and you'll be like, it'll be really funny if you say this instead. It's going to cost you dearly. It's going to cost you. Anyway, but knitting, knitting, it's a very relaxing. And you can do it while watching other things. It's something where you're working with your hands. and you do need to pay attention a little bit, but it's more forgiving than say like crocheting or, um, there's a, I think there's a meme between like knitting and sewing or knitting and something else where it's like, you could just accidentally whip up an entire sweater.

41:45I'm not sure if it is knitting or which one's easier. I'm not sure which one's easier, but honestly, Mandy has crochet stuff and has crocheted things. So I don't, I, I couldn't, I could maybe order some knitting needles or something, but like, I think we have like some yarn and shit I could use. Oh yeah, crocheting is one hooked needle, knitting is two sticks. Knit one, purl two, whatever the fuck that means, and crocheting is just crochet, crochet. You have to say it out loud every time, crochet. It's like bingo, it doesn't count if you don't say it out loud. Don't do that, Lon, you didn't say crochet.

42:23Well, you do specifically mean knitting. Yeah, knitting. I think knitting could be fun. You could get into it and it's just a repeatable pattern as far as I know. And you can kind of aimlessly do it while watching your movie marathon. I could get all this out of the way all at once and not have to do any of the stupid shit you guys are telling me to do. And you could day trade at the same time. With my one good foot, I'm over here day trading like a madman. Yeah, exactly. You just time the trades to when you get to the end of a line. It's like you buy or sell at the end of it. And so you just leave it up to fate because honestly, random chance would be better.

42:57Does it ding like a typewriter when you get to the end of the line? We're going to be rich. We're going to make smart needles with a speaker in it that know when it's at the end of the

43:06Mark Fischbach:line. It just brings back all the classic like 90s noises like, you've got mail. Why? Why that one? Yeah, you can customize your needles to give you whatever noises you want. You're so right. You started that so confidently like it would be related. Oh, yeah. I relate to what I said, don't you? You know how we sell$700 ,000 in product in the first six months? AI-powered knitting needles. Oh, my God. Uses AI to tell when it's time for you to move to the next row. Boom. Everybody loves AI. Everybody wants it in everything. If AI was real and we didn't have some really shitty versions of VI, you know, AI's not real.

43:46Mark Fischbach:It's real in the way that language works. Well, we call it AI, but like in the technical historical definition of artificial intelligence, we've not really reached that yet. We have just really shitty virtual intelligence. I agree with him. I like the Mass Effect definition of virtual intelligence better than what it currently is. I like that a lot. Well, do you have any more ideas that you want to throw out? So another thing from my childhood. I used to love doing jigsaw puzzles. But not only are there normal jigsaw puzzles, right? The 100 piece, 1000 piece, whatever. There was a puzzle I did as a kid.

44:19Mark Fischbach:it was like four different puzzles that was like jungle canopy, jungle like floor bottom, like the plains. And I figured they're like a river or something. And once you built each one of these, you could take off the outside lines and put them together. And it was one big puzzle that made one image. It was just really cool. On top of that, there were like the 3D puzzles. So my grandpa and I built like a house one time where it was just little foam puzzle pieces and you put it together and ultimately it was like this little house and stuff. I got a lot of satisfaction out of doing puzzles as a kid.

44:48Mark Fischbach:I'm not done one in a while, but I kind of had the itch to do one. And I guess if I was off of my feet for a while, that'd be another thing I'd want to do is some kind of combo jigsaw puzzles. If I get a puzzle and then invite you over and have you do it for me, does that count as me doing it? It's like watching a Let's Play. Like, did you have a gaming experience by watching someone else play the game for you? I mean, I guess so. Yes, I've played many games that way. But yeah, I mean, I guess it would count. To clarify, there's absolutely no feat at all possible. like i can walk i can walk short distances i can i it's not like i can't stand up i can walk around the house and i can go as long as i'm not wandering around a grocery store i can walk like this is perfect no no this is perfect okay all right so you couch you go to your cupboard you grab a box of kleenex right and you bring it over you go to your wherever your laptop is you grab that you go to your bathroom or whatever grab a bottle of lotion okay you're gonna need all these You put one on the other one side, one on the other.

45:47Open up your laptop. Type in B-O-O-B-I-E-S. Hit enter. Just start clicking. It's the most fun you can have with your hands and not your feet.

45:56Mark Fischbach:I don't want to see this redeem happen, but I guess that's true. Put it on the bounty board. It's on there. It's on the list for consideration. I forgot these are going on the bounty board. Here's a video of me looking at porn, guys. Hey, that'll be a hell of a bounty if we very desperate need points to win, like nail biter end of the season. That's a bounty to pull. I never thought we would top the piss yourself for a win, but here we are. Listen, if this podcast ever gets that high stakes, it will be there. Exactly as described. I didn't say anything else. I just said. You were just saying to watch porn and have those things within reach.

46:40Mark Fischbach:Some laptops are real dry So you gotta keep your hands moisturized to use your mouse and keyboard I get you Absolutely It's been real dry around here too And you ever just see B-O-O-B-I-E-S That just bring a tear to your eyes You need a Kleenex to dab the tears That's the only word I ever spelled on calculators So I'm assuming I'll come across some interesting You know like retro Collectible calculators potentially as well I have another idea too Is it Wade's turn or should I just go straight up There aren't any turns, go Mark Okay, all right. So you go on eBay, you get yourself a classic TI-83 Plus Silver Edition.

47:17You go to wherever the hell there's the drug trader game. You go to get the Dragon Ball Z RPG game. Get those installed on TI-83, you'll have the best time of your life. Games on TI-83 just hit different somehow. They weren't the most graphically intense, but they were the most satisfying to play.

47:36Mark Fischbach:They're playing games in math class on the ti-83 plus it was like snake and I forget one other game Those get there was like if you're in class It was like the most fun thing you could ever do it looking back like those games fucking suck man Instead of doing work those games were at the study hall. Oh god. Yeah, I play video game And then you got the cable you could share with someone like dude I got that mafia game You gotta find the person who has the cable so you could share the files across because you gotta you gotta make sure you have all the cool as shit man you do you imagine do you think you guys if if i told you i'm gonna pay you like ten thousand dollars if by tomorrow you can have a programmed version of those games without using any kind of ai or anything like that do you think you could do it like you could you could learn the programming and search up the commands to create like the mafia drug trader game or something like that well probably because like if there's things like rpg maker and stuff out there there's got to be something some template you could use but on the ti-83 like i don't even know what language it's programmed in what is it no my brain would not work that way i would try but i think realistically i could not make that happen no even go back and turn one of those things on would be an achievement for me today much less there's a big button labeled on that's a start you didn't have one of the pool cords

48:57Teacher wait! I had one of the hand crank ones like the weather radios. See there class is like

49:07Mark Fischbach:You don't get tested everyone like just cranking it You can't stop because if you stop everything falls out of memory. If you want to see what you're working on you gotta crank endlessly. I was always jealous of the kids who had the chest harness where you only needed one hand to crank and you could use your other hand for stuff. This is like one of those one-man band where the harmonica is, but they got a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dink, hon, crank. They got a little monkey actually cranked their TI-83. To hit enter on the calculator, you're like, kick your leg, enter. Ah, but you can't use your leg.

49:38I can't use my feet. I could use my leg. All right, another idea. One-man band. Get a big drum on your back, get cymbals, get a harmonica, get whatever else hell he had. He had the one guy.

49:50Mark Fischbach:That one-man. What did he have in his band? Go back, re-listen to old albums, like CDs from the 90s, 2000s, like actually pop out the old CD player. I thought you were just going to let Mark rack up the points with us. No, he was starting to. I'm like, no, I can't let this happen. Old gaming consoles, go play like Nintendo, try to beat like Super Mario again. I do have an N64 right there. I was thinking even older. I was thinking like Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo. But okay, if you know those automatic bread makers. I have one of those, I think. Okay, how long do you think it would take you to make one, like, the loaf to prepare to put in there?

50:24It's pretty easy, actually. You pretty much just dump the shit in. It doesn't take very long at all. Like 10 minutes, right? Like, yeah, like, less than 10 minutes easy. All right, cool. By 12, you start one, put it in, start the other, put it in, start the other, put it in. By the time you get to the end, the first one's done. Put that out, set it aside, make another one, put it in. You have a bread-making empire. You start your own business of making bread. Artisanal bread.

50:47Mark Fischbach:Opposite. You get a bunch of people's addresses and you go find random stuff on like different shipping apps like DoorDash or whatever And you find things that don't really make sense and you ship it to different people And whenever they give you reactions, you laugh You get to watch the things be delivered so you know when the reaction's coming from whatever you're sending them What'd you call that? Prank? Prank deliveries? Yeah, prank deliveries Even better, you become a DoorDash middleman You find people that want to make a DoorDash order, they order with you Instead, you then order through DoorDash for them to their house.

51:19You make a cut and you're just crushing business. You could scale this up to thousands. No, I like that because I think there are people, specific people from maybe from older generations who are like, I wish I could just call someone on the phone. I could be the DoorDash phone service where they could just call me. They'll talk to me, real person. And then, yeah.

51:38Mark Fischbach:You become a DoorDash bottom man where you find things you want on DoorDash and have them delivered to you. Well, I already do that. That's not really a new hobby. Well, it could be if you go ham and buy things you haven't bought before Hey, look, I've bought some silly stuff on DoorDash. Okay, not not crazy But I did buy a hedge trimmer on DoorDash one time I bought an umbrella for a wedding on DoorDash once for the bride Doomsday device you do a lot of research into nuclear bombs and you figure out a way to get fissile material to your house start assembling it into an implosion device uh and then you have a nuke the journey is the uh the reward no it's not about the angle you get the most luxurious flotation device what's what i'm looking for like float and you spend your days floating around a pool just like sipping on drinks browsing your phone on like the most just elaborate comfy float you can find i like that there's an aspect of danger to that because i can't get my leg wet because it's fully wrapped up to my knee and stuff.

52:41I'm not supposed to get wet. So it'd have to be, I have to just actually get a boat. I love boat. If I get a boat, you come over, you hang out in the boat with me in the pool.

52:49Mark Fischbach:Even crazier, we open some really expensive Pokemon cards while floating on the water where the cards nor you can get wet. We could call it Drippy Rips. Drippy Rips. I don't like that name, but I love the idea. Just call me Captain Drippy Rip. I got it. You impersonate Reddit comment bots. You start commenting on random subreddits in the same cadence that the bot replies do also say in but in your official account So you start really confusing people everyone thinks you're a bot But you know in your heart of hearts that you're a human and therefore you get enjoyment out of it because you're tricking everybody It's the ultimate ruse it really freaks some people out too So they think I'm a bot and I can just respond and be like Get a camera and like a little microphone you can strap to your shirt and start filming yourself pretending to be like a news anchor and you just make up whatever news stories you want but you post them to a new news a new YouTube channel and you post them as if they are completely real and see how many people think that you're a legit news organization and start buying into whatever stories you make up.

53:52Mark Fischbach:Probably a lot World's first internal live stream You swallow a camera That is live stream capable You have a feeding tube placed in Use that not for feeding But for having the power wire To go through And then it's a con Never mind this is going to be some fetish bullshit We'll call it the go no I retract my statement entirely It's written down you can't retract it now That guy's got his tissues and his lube What's he It's about to hit the small intestine It's about to hit the small intestine We're in boys! I'll call it Magic School Bus Live It'll be like nostalgia The sound is just my guts gurgling And the faint muffled me just singing the song I'm like And Lizzie's there It's great Oh yeah Lizzie I think that's enough Which option are you going to pick?

54:49yeah I think I have things to pick from and I have to do these things and they'll probably be great probably

54:56Mark Fischbach:question before we start doing points do we do bounties now or do we do bounties after you tabulate points I actually did one for once you did a bounty? what the fuck yeah I just don't remember when we turned them in I was about to jump to points so now is fine on the official bounty board number 8 change shirts mid episode without anyone noticing I started off with this and now i'm here that's very impressive i didn't notice at all i did that i was like i literally looked at this i was like what is the laziest possible bounty i could pick and i was like change shirts i wasn't even thinking to defend from a you bounty because i assumed you would never do one i had you guys both have done one i was like i gotta get at least one on the board so I'm at least say I've done it.

55:44Mark Fischbach:That's good. That's good. I did it, guys. That's completely legit. I don't know if it's worth anything other than like a point, but like I did it. I ask this every time it comes up. Is it one point or two points? It's one point. I think it's host discretion. It's like one to three or two to three or whatever. One point for changing a shirt is adequate for me. I think we were supposed to separate out the difficult ones and rank them as like, it should be like based on difficulty, but I feel like he did well because it's a completely different colored shirt and we really should have noticed. I tried to make it where it wasn't like oh okay you went from like dark red I was like okay let me do something that would actually Wait so did you have that Pokemon card already or was that just part of the ruse Oh that was part of the ruse baby So you didn't just get that though So that's some of my excitement about Well I did just get it but not today But it's really cool isn't it It does look cool I can't believe they got Van Gogh to make a Pokemon card It's the only thing he ever did in his life right What else was he known for other than Pokemon cards Dying I guess I showed this to Molly and her response was Why does it have two ears It's not him as Pikachu Jeez Anyway that's it that's my bounty I know it's a crazy amazing one but I did it Well Wade gets an extra bounty point Yeah I gotta tell you my thought Mark was talking about lenses and stuff This is something he's really passionate about He'll be really focused I'm gonna leave they're not gonna give an absolute fuck I'll come back I'll have something to distract them with And they'll have no idea It's true I'm shocked I assumed Wade would just never engage with that at all me that's the only one you're ever gonna do I'm pretty sure but you've officially done as many as both Mark and myself you've only done one right Mark who I think oh well it wasn't me I've definitely only done one yeah I got I got the picture of Chica in a shirt and then I did play the games during that's right you did the yeah the background sorry I just realized I'm insane and I skipped a bunch of pages in my score notebook for no reason whatsoever.

57:37I mean, three, four pages, but still. Anyway, points in no particular order. Wade, you earned points for injuring yourself while playing an MMO, becoming fully addicted to Pokemon, injuring yourself during physical therapy to heal your other injury, cow version of oats reference, you got the segue points for Pokemon. Oh, you also got a point for being alive during the Dust Bowl. And then your recommendations were Pokemon fan games, Batman or other movie marathon, puzzles, re-listen to old albums play old video games which I feel like is kind of the same as the Pokemon one but I guess those are new fan games whatever prank delivery service, just order myself stuff on DoorDash, Drippy Rips Fake News leaving you with a total of 15 plus 1 bounty point yeah you got the bounty for changing your shirt giving you 16 Mark, you earn points for your gamer hands, your tube meat medical treatment GoPro being dead to you but only kind of dead grinding FNAF like a true gamer being receptive to my esports knowledge and coaching you recommended that I do day trading or knitting you insulted me which did lose you a point for calling me a boring piece of shit worth it you said that I should try gooning TI-83 plus you said I should be a one man band you said I should make bread kind of you said I should make a door door dash middleman business uh doomsday device internal live stream and become a reddit bot you got 15 points minus one for boring piece of shit leaving you a total of 14 points to wade's

59:16Mark Fischbach:16 points man if you hadn't insulted him that that bounty would have really just given me a little edge it was so worth it though i i i really i really can't overstate like you had to do it i I know exactly how that feels. We haven't spun the tie wheel in a while. That's what I'm really aiming for right now. Why would you manifest that for me? My foot hurts, Mark. How could you possibly do this to me? So if he wins, we're making him going to do like one-legged hops, right? It's not a one-man show. It's just run a marathon. It could happen. It's a two. It's a two. I had a great callback earlier, remember?

59:49Yeah, I had that. Wade had the callback earlier, but that's fine. No, I had a cool callback to like, it was an old joke, but it checks. No, five, four, three, two, one. oh that's true it's the oldest callback probably ever on the show i think we already have one that's like was in the hospital or was injured or something i think we do you know i most recently adopted hobby so whoever has most recently uh begun a hobby like i would say right now pokemon for me is probably the most recent thing that we're sort of talking i mean you got me into it wade but i'm i'm newer than you've done it most recently something like that two spins 118 options on the wheel what could go wrong come on not best looking i'm a little ratty if i'm

1:00:37Mark Fischbach:gonna be honest i kind of need to shave it's definitely mark today sorry all right cool good he has a he has a certain glow about him i've been uh swimming in the pool a lot with the gopro so i've been getting a nice bit of sun i've not been able to be active for a few months and i need to shave. I don't know. Yeah. I wouldn't have accepted it even if I do deserve it. Look, you might deserve it, but that doesn't mean that you actually get it. All right. One more point. Come on. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work?

1:01:08It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode, available on Plus and Pro Plans. Come on.

1:01:32Mark Fischbach:Yeah, I agree. Come on. Come on. I'm so close to winning. Kiss judges' ass the most. Ah, come on, man. Mark didn't have a documented lost point.

1:01:50Mark Fischbach:I like how we were one away from the host wins too. I knew it was going to cost me. God damn. Well, and Mark just handed it away. Couldn't just let the opportunity to hurl out some out of pocket insults. I now have the knitting community hating me. I have been guilty of so many times and I totally get it, But that does mean that officially, because he did a bounty shocking the entire universe, Wade is the winner. Mark, please give us a loser's speech. This loser's speech is brought to you by GoPro Code Markiplier. Code Distractable, sure. Distractable. Yeah, you can get your GoPro 10 % off with Distractable, D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-I-B-L-E.

1:02:38I feel like this was not fate. This was my own actions. I've never been more certain in a deterministic universe No, wait, the opposite In a undeterministic universe Where we make our own choices And our destiny is made by our own actions And everything is an echo from our thoughts To our physical form And extending out in ripples of waves of energy To everyone else that's around us I feel one with the universe I am so connected and I am hated I know that even though I'm as connected As I've ever been in the universe It is against me And it does not want me to succeed But it's all my own fault because I am the universe and we are all I we are all me we are all we are all me and it's terrible

1:03:23Mark Fischbach:ah well uh thank you mark uh wait winner speech this might be the first time I've won back to back's not the right word because you know I didn't win my own episode but like without giving myself a win back to back in a long time it feels good it feels good to succeed I put in a little bit of effort and the universe smiled upon me. Mark put in the opposite today and, you know, was, Oh, look, I think he tried pretty hard. He just tried to do the wrong things. He insulted a lot of people and, you know, the universe did not give him as big of a smile as it gave me. You know, it's nice to do good, try even just a little bit.

1:03:58Mark Fischbach:There's just a little bit of effort, just a little effort. And it won't change me and I'll be right back to my old ways soon. But for today, man, it felt nice. And I should put in effort more often. I won't, but man, I should and we'll hold you to that thank you Wade, congratulations on winning so the episode is over, but I have one more thing I have to announce, and that's what the actual things are that I'm going to do this week, you've been talking about them for a long time, and I've sort of been putting them off, because I'm like I don't know if I'd really like that, the bread makers maybe, Wade I'm going to do the Pokemon fan games I'm going to try out Emerald Rogue and Pokey Rogue, and and just like dip my toes a little bit and maybe i'll get maybe i'll have a fresh addiction those two are very different than normal pokemon i would say like unbound or rejuvenation is more like pokemon games but if you want completely random and different those those are two that's the thing i'm kind of interested in i do to i do like like roguelites and stuff so i'm curious i'm curious about how that will work and then mark suggested a bunch of stuff oh good stuff What are we hoping for?

1:05:01Gooning? So it's only one week. It's only one week. Can I take make bread and just leave it at that? Or does it have to be the empire of bread? Because if I like it, it could lead to that. But I feel like me successfully making maybe like a couple loaves of bread. Maybe I'll try some stuff. Would be pretty good for one week's time to give it a try. And if I like it, I'll build the evil empire.

1:05:30Mark Fischbach:What would your business be called? If you go into a bread business, would it be like, Big Bob's Bread Baking Bonanza? Bob's Banging Bread. And our branding will look exactly like Dave's Killer Bread, but it'll be legally distinct. Blowing Bread Bubbles, LLC. It's just like a bread. They're all hollow bread shells. I mean, bread is just bubbles. So like I see, I see the angle. I understand. And anyway, so this week I will film myself playing Pokemon fan games, possibly get some more input from you, Wade, if I try a couple and I'm interested in other stuff and baking. I'm going to say at least two different kinds of bread.

1:06:10I don't have a sourdough starter and I don't know how difficult it is to just get one of those, but like I can definitely find a couple of different varieties of bread to try. and I will also film that on my where the fuck did it go on my GoPro Mission 1 Pro wow co-distractable wow it has been a while anyway that's the end of the episode check out our merch store distractible.shop check out our social media and channels and what not lordminion777 or minion777 markiplier or mice curb we're out there on the internet make sure you follow the show so that you get notifications because in case you forget then it'll tell you that you're supposed to watch and or listen to us every time an episode comes out and Wade will host the next one.

1:06:59Shocker to us all, I know, but he won so he gets to do it regardless of what that means for the rest of us. Thank you for watching. Thank you even more for listening. I hate listeners. I messed it all up. That's the end of the episode. See you on the next one. Podcast out.

1:07:18This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.