Record Setting Guessing

10:50Mark Fischbach:I got a small talk! I'm fine. Go ahead, John Travolta. I saw movies recently. I saw Fantastic Four. I saw Superman. I don't want to spoil anything, but I actually enjoyed them

11:02Ethan Nestor:I heard there were no sky beams in Superman Sky beams? It happens not exclusively in superhero movies But it's like a lot of sci-fi and supernatural stuff When something so powerful happens When someone is like summoning or big or whatever And then it just goes And there's like a laser into the sky And it evaporates the clouds and that whole Apparently this is the first Superman movie not to have sky beams in some amount of time.

11:29Mark Fischbach:There's some horizontal action. There's not a vertical beam. That sounds weird out of my mouth, but that... I like it. I like it. Sounds good in my ears. I like it a lot. Good. That's what I was intending.

11:42Ethan Nestor:Well, yeah. I mean, I've heard good things about Superman. I've heard nothing about Fantastic Four.

11:46Mark Fischbach:I don't know. I feel like there was a collective agreement because I saw people posting about Fantastic Four right when it came out. They're like, oh, man. But then like I went and saw it like two days after I saw it Their posts were like alright now that some times passed Yeah it was good but I feel like when it first came out Everyone was just like collectively let's either not talk about it or lie about it I thought it was solid I thought Fantastic Four was solid Superman I think James Gunn directed Superman So it has a lot of like the Ragnarok slash Guardians vibes to it Which is very different than like the DC Superman movie But if you enjoy that vibe He didn't make Ragnarok Gunn didn't direct Ragnarok?

12:23No He did Ragnarok

12:25Ethan Nestor:Sorry It was uh Tika Waititi What was his name Oh uh yeah Taiko Waititi What's his first name

12:35Mark Fischbach:That's weird because it has like Ragnarok has the same kind of Guardians vibes though doesn't it No he does Did the Guardians of the Galaxy For sure but not Ragnarok Yeah Okay well Ragnarok still has a similar vibe To the Guardians movie That's why I thought it was Gun Because it's a lot more like Lighthearted Silly and musical That's also Taika Waititi did His project just before that I believe was a a like Hitler movie where a kid had an imaginary friend who was Hitler.

13:00Ethan Nestor:No Jojo Rabbit was actually really really good movie. It was actually really good. Yeah. I heard it was good. Yeah. My description of it sounds worse than it is but it's like that is actually. I've seen one thing about that movie and it was a major spoiler. I'm pretty sure. Well I mean it came out in 2019. So I think. The Nazis lose. Is imaginary. I gotta go back to Vegas and change my bet. That would be such a funny sports book Like hey you wanna bet on the outcome of World War 2 Take it all bets

13:29Mark Fischbach:If it doesn't change the next three years You win We'll let you know what happened But yeah well anyway It has that kind of vibe to it I guess Which is different for Superman But I enjoyed it And Fantastic Four was a Just a really solid Good Marvel movie

13:44Ethan Nestor:I have to say when I saw When I saw stuff coming about like Oh there's a new Fantastic Four movie I thought it was AI generated at first Because I was like Why would there be a new Fantastic Four movie Of exactly the same one it was previously But then I remembered that's how they That's how they do that

13:58Mark Fischbach:I didn't know there was a 2015 one I knew about like the early 2000s one But I didn't know about the one that came out like 10 years ago

14:04Ethan Nestor:Oh yeah, you didn't see the 2015? No With the old what's his face Is Dr. Incredible What's his name? Mr. Super Duper You're really close Stretchy McGee, what's that guy's name? Yeah, he got it, he got it Old Stretch Pants

14:19Mark Fischbach:oh yes the fantastic four with dr incredible uh it's yeah who was that um isn't john krasinski

14:28Ethan Nestor:mr fantastic in like some of in like the multiverse or something no no that was in his cameo yeah he does like a cameo in one of the other movies 2015 fantasy form has nine percent on rotten tomatoes that's not oh it's got the uh oh what's her name her last name is mara rooney Mara or is it her sister I didn't realize and it has Miles Teller as Mr. Fantastic I think Kate Mara was the same one that was in House of Cards right it's Michael B Jordan is that all right I don't remember remember this one either as Michael B Jordan is the human torch and Miles Teller's Mr. Fantastic I saw this on a plane and I gotta tell you on a plane you know you don't have many options I didn't finish it I actually stopped watching it on a plane that's no scaling review I've done that before too.

15:15Ethan Nestor:I'm tracked on a plane with a movie on in front of me. I was like, oh, this is bad enough. I'm just gonna sit here in silence.

15:23Mark Fischbach:I was captured and being tortured. I could either have my finger and toenails removed or finish this movie. I didn't finish the movie. I mean, I was kind of embarrassed watching it because, you know, Amy, I think was next to me, I believe. No, 2015.

15:37Ethan Nestor:You're like, God, I hope no one sees this on my screen. oh what if they recognize me they'll they'll tweet about it oh god then people will know i they'll think i like it but i mean yeah that actually was kind of it i didn't want anyone to be subjected to it because you know if someone's watching a movie next to you or across a aisle i'm also watching that movie just without audio and honestly i've watched more movies on planes like that than actually listening to it so uh you know what happened to in the same vein once. I felt really uncomfortable about it. I forget what it was, but I was watching some movie on an airplane on the seat in front of me, and it was something that had a fair amount of, like, violence, and also at one point there were just, like, there's some nudity.

16:20Ethan Nestor:It was just, like, there were some boobs on screen or something, right? There was top nudity of, I forget what the movie even was. But I'm just sitting here watching it, and then it gets to, like, the nudity scene, and there's just, like, a half-naked woman, like, doing whatever, and the scene goes on for a minute, and right in the middle of it, I'm like, other people can see this and i like looked around and there were like little kids a few rows back and i was literally just like oh turn it off oh i'll play cartoons the rest of the trip i'm so sorry like it didn't occur to me because yeah i i look at i look at other people's screens obviously there's not much going on and then i just had like a panic attack yeah anyone out there that is like have ever said had someone say to them or them thought no one cares what i'm watching no i'm watching what you're watching yeah and i am judging you but i'm also watching so i won't say anything but i'm watching it's the worst when you're watching someone else's thing and then they like reposition and block the screen and you're like oh come on we're like the movie's almost over come on now i gotta pull it up yeah i'm not gonna pull it up on mine and like fast forward to the spot we were at and plug in my headphones or something like fuck i've had that feeling on

17:36Mark Fischbach:a plane where it's like you're watching something it's like oh dear god i hope no one's looking at this scene but do you turn it off or do you just keep watching and be like don't look don't no i keep watching i'm too i'm not i'm this far into i'm not gonna change now speaking of fantastic four their popcorn bucket set a world record for the fantastic four movie hottest popcorn what's the record i read the the full title of this article is marvel's 80 popcorn bucket sets world record and i was like oh god the world record must be how fucking expensive that is it's just

18:10Ethan Nestor:popcorn inside it doesn't have cocaine sprinkled on it or something it's a full galactus head with glowing eyes so it's not just a plastic tub but it's not 80 but it also the record it set was it's the biggest commemorative popcorn bucket so whatever whatever people decide it's worth the 80 dollars or sitting watching a movie just like i love this i'm glad i didn't even see

18:35Mark Fischbach:that prior because i i know i saw like almost none of the advertising so i didn't even know this dude was in it galactus galactus the fantastic four villain once i watched it i knew he was in it i was trying to avoid spoiling that but i guess if the popcorn bucket is him that's been revealed. Yeah, I don't think that was a secret at all. You know, I saw that Silver Surfer was a lady, and I'm not a comic guy, but I'm willing to bet everyone was totally cool with that, that there was no arguments, and all was well. I'm not a big comic guy, and I thought she did a good job and was fine, but maybe, maybe I don't think that.

19:16Mark Fischbach:Yeah, appeal to them. Yeah, appeal with them. You're surrounded by 20 people whose opinion you need to sway. No, she did a great job. Everything was solid. I had no issues with any of it, but there are, what is it, they call themselves the comic book purists.

19:31Ethan Nestor:Historical accuracy, you son of a bitch.

19:33Mark Fischbach:I might have just made that term up and assigned it to them, but that's what they call themselves. I'm sure that there are people that are like, yeah, comic book purists, but I also know that comic books change every fucking time they relaunch it. Not the original. They're purists of the pure.

19:48Ethan Nestor:Yeah, if you're a purist, you know which one is the correct one, and that's the only one that you care about accuracy for. You ignore the rest of them. Unless they're fighting another character from another universe, then they're their most powerful version, and that's the canon one, period. Oh, wait, there's a... Wait, sorry, this is so funny. There's a Silver Surfer variant called Silver Surfer Black, and you know it's called that because they didn't want to call them Black Surfer. yeah well i i think that might have been the right choice probably given the way the internet functions sorry i'm just wait hold on i'm just gonna show you i've i'm not sure if this is that comic i'll share something real quick i just i went to click the first link i saw about it god damn what what an angle jesus for us listeners at home it's i believe the silver surfer or it might be dr manhattan from the watchman but it is about 180 degrees below the top of their head which means that we're absolutely looking straight up the taint look at the there's abs and then there's side abs side abs yeah there's two rows of side abs wow my armpit abs oh he has four fingers his pinky's just doing the thing where it's like weigh the shit down okay weird Are they walking?

21:19Is this a kick? Why are they making that face?

21:23Ethan Nestor:Why are there Pac-Man ghosts in the background behind them? Who could tell?

21:27Mark Fischbach:That was my favorite scene in the movie I loved the silver taint scene

21:31Ethan Nestor:Gun actually used the shot a lot The Gooch shot was a big innovation in this Fantastic Four movie Anyway, good small talk, Wade I didn't even get anything Yeah, I was just trying I was setting Mark up How are you doing, bud? Oh, good. I don't know what happened in the past few days, but you know how my news source, which is a mystery and no one will ever know, has been dry, dry as a bone. An incredible slew of news has poured out of the weekend. There was the Oklahoma Board of Education meeting where nude women just suddenly started appearing on the TV in the office while the meeting was taking place.

22:12I heard about this. That was interesting.

22:16Ethan Nestor:Wasn't one of the board members or the president or something like watching porn? And that's why that happened. I thought I heard that story. I thought I heard a story about during a meeting, a member of a school board or whatever was like watching porn. And then something like that happened where everyone was like, hey, hey. I I've the article here just says Walters who is running the meeting and the guy who wants to put bibles in every classroom and whose office is now pumping out official press releases with gloriously deranged headlines like response to the most absurd false and gutter political attack from a desperate failing establishment I'm pretty sure he was in charge of the meeting so I'm not sure who he's talking to as any suggestion that a device of mine was used to stream inappropriate content on the television set is categorically false.

23:06I have no knowledge of what was on the TV screen during the alleged incident. The alleged incident, and there is absolutely no truth to any implications of wrong doing. So yeah, there was, he was watching porn.

23:17Mark Fischbach:Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly there was a meeting that he was allegedly in charge of. There were allegedly naked women on an alleged TV.

23:25Ethan Nestor:I love this. I don't know, I think this is the same story. This is another board member who was apparently dealing with some parents discussing an issue with them and saw the video in this guy's office on the TV screen and describes it as containing or featuring multiple nude women and some sort of chiropractic table.

23:52Ethan Nestor:That is a really great description. Thank you. I'm glad that we know that now.

23:57Mark Fischbach:He comes out to the meeting full gimp suit. I don't know what you all are accusing me of. Told you I needed 15. This is my cycling uniform. I stay healthy. The zippers are for wind resistance. Chuck E. Cheese was arrested in Florida. No, Chuck! Florida mouse strikes again. Like, full on - let me show you the picture because you want - you'll - you're gonna want to see this. It's just him. I hope it's just Chuck E. Cheese behind bars, like still full costume. Or animatronic. Or real mouse.

24:30Ethan Nestor:Oh, no. Okay.

24:34Mark Fischbach:He looks like such a punk. That poor officer's face. He's arresting his childhood idol. I love that they got the slogan where a kid can be a kid right above. Now, he was arrested, just so everyone knows, for, I believe it was credit card fraud. So it wasn't for inappropriate behavior. He wasn't streaming nude women to the Chuck E. Cheese TV.

24:59Ethan Nestor:and they still haven't arrested him for the combining old pizzas into new pizzas scandal. Unbelievable. They wouldn't do that, would they? Categorically not, according to the statements released by Chuck E. Cheese. Alleged pizzas. It's just a conspiracy. And then I got one last thing that I'll throw out there real quick, and then I swear you can get on with your episode. Nah, I'll save that. If we ever do another episode of this, I'll save it for that. Is there a chance we won't? We should, like, make this a real thing. I think we should keep I think we should kind of There might be some potential here It's a lot honestly Like I'm We're not even I mean maybe halfway In this one I'm pretty exhausted But could probably find a way To do it I guess For you Mark Nah I forget I said anything Anyway Bye

25:48Ethan Nestor:Just roll Roll credits for two seconds We have credits?

25:56Mark

25:56Ethan Nestor:You got like four segue points. You can't even. This is starting off so uneven. Is it the word alleged? Is that what it is? No. Five segue points. Keep guessing though. Maybe I'll give you some more segue points. Oh God, is it golf rules day? Oh no.

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27:15Mark Fischbach:flip the sip. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. What do you guys think of when people say financial knowledge money uh holding money uh touching money and then letting money go

27:27Ethan Nestor:does it come back if you let it go will it come back to you if it loves you no oh interesting i

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28:14Mark Fischbach:rocketmoney.com slash distractible

28:19Ethan Nestor:well you guys want to play a game how easy is it i found an article i feel like that comes up a lot on the show but i found an article and i thought it was funny and i had an idea you guys are going to try to guess how many how much how far how long different guinness world records are for. I have a list of some kind of funny and some kind of fascinating Guinness World Records and I'm going to you guys are just gonna try and guess how how long can someone hold their breath how many plates can you balance on the tip of your penis whatever. I was gonna say we've done a Guinness episode but not like this.

28:59Mark Fischbach:Tip of their penis?

29:00Ethan Nestor:I don't know if that's in here well so we'll get to that later.

29:03Mark Fischbach:Are you supposed to tip a penis like how much 30 %?

29:05Ethan Nestor:Depends on how good it was. This is why I like European penises. Um, no tips. Oh! That sounds really bad. Sorry. Are you sure it sounds bad? I don't know. Cut them off at birth. No tips.

29:20Mark Fischbach:Well, that's America, so that's just a Lincoln log.

29:24Ethan Nestor:Ew. Ew, but funny, but ew. Ew, but funny, but ew. I can't decide, so both. You get both. Hey, baby, I'm stumped. You got me stumped up. Stop. I'll give you a point to stop You never have that thought again. I'll give you a point for that I'm gonna roll a d20 whoever the number looks more like is gonna go first. I hope it's not a hairy one. It's a six. Oh It's definitely mark Sorry

29:59Mark Fischbach:We didn't even play the game I watched him And I was like you know I don't know what looks like a six But I can't do better than that

30:08Ethan Nestor:Oh Wade I forgot you don't know your numbers I'm sorry that was pretty You'll get it it's fine I only know sevens and nines It's like beating a toddler but you know it's alright A win's a win you know A win's a win Alright Mark I mean it doesn't really matter If you get to go first I guess that much The longest The world the Guinness world record For the longest time holding Your breath voluntarily I'll tell you who did it Budimir Shobat of Croatia Budimir yeah old booty Booty did that Booty Booty hey Siri call Booty I just revealed side Chicks for people listening Everywhere Oh well that's gonna be a couple complicated Conversations uh anyway How long did old booty hold his breath for if he was born somewhere else?

31:01Ethan Nestor:They would have called him half-ass. I'm gonna give you a point for that even though I didn't laugh because it was funny I was just mid sentence give him half a point half a point

31:08Mark Fischbach:I spent this full 20 seconds deciding whether I should make the joke or not and I decided I had to Is this above what is is this on land? What the fuck is this?

31:22Ethan Nestor:Are you asking if this person was submerged in water or not? Yeah, is it underwater or out of not underwater? I think they're just like sitting in a chair holding their breath. This is not like swimming, holding their breath or anything. If it's submerged, is it supermerged to be above water? Isn't it e-merged? Was this e-merged or submerged? Well, I guess emerging is the verb. So you're submerged then you emerge. What's the opposite of sub? I thought it was super like superscript subscript superscript

31:57Mark Fischbach:Airplane is the opposite of submarine dom dom merged.

32:02Ethan Nestor:Yeah It was dom merged.

32:07Mark Fischbach:Yeah, I'm glad we're back to the gifts What was the answer? Was he Dom or Sub? Dom. Dom. He said that. He hasn't said it. You said what? He did say it. But you just said he didn't say it. Then he said it and you're like, ah, so he said it. No, I said he did say it. I said he just said it. I didn't say he didn't say it.

32:24Ethan Nestor:I don't believe you. What's wrong with your ears?

32:30Ethan Nestor:Everyone calmed out. It was Dom Merch and I haven't said how long yet. But it's surprisingly long. Just like me. But not you.

32:45Ethan Nestor:Well, either show or tell, I guess, Mark, you have been asked. I'm going to go with, like, 30 seems too long, but it's probably, like, crazy like that. 20. 20 minutes. 20 minutes. When was this set? This happened in 2021. Yeah, I guess the advantage would be to go second. Am I not? I guess I'm not right. I guess I'm very wrong. We're doing like Price is Right rules. Oh. So the first person gets to go first and sort of set the bar, but then...

33:15Mark Fischbach:So if I say 1959, it'd be a real douchebag, but man, I'd have those entire 20 minutes to live with. I'm trying to remember, like, I remember some magic shows where they're like, oh, he held his breath for like six minutes and it was crazy or something. So I'm going to go like 12 minutes. 12 minutes does sound like a lot. That feels like a really long fucking time to hold your breath.

33:34Ethan Nestor:Sounds like a lot. Yeah, maybe 20 was too hard. Old Booty held his breath for 24 minutes 37.36 seconds How is he not dead 24 minutes I don't know that's a long time to not add any new oxygen to the system This dude must have unreal like breath capacity and red blood cell efficiency Or god I don't even know how it works It doesn't say that he died it says that he did this and survived So you should call him Trilung I can't imagine doing a plank for longer than a minute. Oh, God. A 24-minute plank. How big is your pirate ship?

34:15Mark Fischbach:We're on something else today, aren't we?

34:18Ethan Nestor:In 2001, Ismael Rivas Falcone from Spain pulled a train over 10 meters using his beard. What record setting weight Was the train that Ishmael pulled With his beard

34:38Mark Fischbach:I'm guessing the train's on a track and he's pulling it Down a track

34:42Ethan Nestor:Yeah it's like a He has no assistance with the moving But it's like a normal train that's like rolling on a track And how much does his beard weigh What was the question How much did the train weigh

34:53Mark Fischbach:I don't fucking know how much a train weighs Uh What kind of Monty Python-esque question is this African or European train twain I think it was probably a Spanish twain It was a 10 ton train I like the alliteration 10 tons of train Metric tons or imperial tons What's the difference? I'm not sure A ton is 2 ,000 pounds It's a metric ton

35:24Ethan Nestor:A metric ton is a thousand kilograms which is approximately 2 ,204 pounds. So a metric ton is slightly more. So what'd you say, 10 tons? 10 tons. Got it, 10 tons. So that would be 20 ,000 pounds. I feel like trains are probably heavier, but I don't know how many cars were part of it. Was it just the engine? But the engine is the heaviest train part. The thing that gets tricky is the fact it's already on a track and stuff, which...

35:54Mark Fischbach:I just can't believe his beard didn't rip out. Yeah, the one time he fails will not be pretty.

35:58Ethan Nestor:They kept adding more cars until the beard came all the way off, and then he immediately just got medical attention. Okay, I've definitely seen people pull like a plane. I mean, planes are big, but planes are not so heavy in the way, because planes are made to be light, even though they're big, right? Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it still is crazy heavy, because it's just a big hunk of metal, even if it's hollow. That's a lot of metal and the wings. And if you can pull that, it's not the beard, mind you.

36:27Mark Fischbach:Yeah, that's the part that gets me. I can see you pulling more on a train track, but with your beard? I just have no idea how much a train weighs. That's the thing. I know. Okay, I'm going to look at. Is it just one car? Can you tell us if it's the engine or not? It was more than just one car. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. So it's got to be a lot. Then this has to actually be stupid high. because I could believe like one car would weigh 10 tons. But if it's the engine plus, it's got to be like 50 tons. Are we doing this in tons? Do we have to do this in tons? We're doing it in tons. 50 tons. All right.

37:08100 thou, 100 thou pound. Okay, I feel really bad

37:13Ethan Nestor:because I just actually looked at a picture of this.

37:16Mark Fischbach:Oh no. It's a Fisher Price train.

37:19Ethan Nestor:And this is the most misleading. This is the most misleading Jedi I've ever seen. You motherfucker. That's so funny. What did you do to me? Can we see the picture? Yeah, I'll share the picture 50 times. That's a picture of him breaking the record. Wait a minute.

37:43Mark Fischbach:I feel like we were both

37:45Ethan Nestor:misled.

37:47Mark Fischbach:This is a car. We're doing a train

37:49Ethan Nestor:cosplay all i had was words all it says is it's a train it's the heaviest train pulled by a beard okay for anyone who's not watching it's one of those trains that they drive around inside the mall it's literally it's literally a kid's train that's designed for giving joy rides at like a carnival or something it's just it just is like a little golf cart that pulls tiny little train things behind it.

38:18Mark Fischbach:Admittedly, pulling that with your beard is impressive. I mean, it still looks cool, right? Look, it's attached to his beard. Look at that. Wow. I will concede that if you were to describe what he's pulling, it's a train with, it is multiple cars, but I really only see one behind it. So you really tricked me. It's a car and there's multiple.

38:44Ethan Nestor:Hey, there's people on it. I didn't even tell you there were people on the train plot twist. It's still 50 tons Yeah, well I got bad news about that too

38:59Ethan Nestor:The train weighed I'll do it in tons for you 2.75 metric tons Wait metric we were imperial tons. All right, whatever it weighed two point slightly less tons it was like six thousand some pounds six thousand and sixty nine pounds you know if you just told me he pulled a car i still wouldn't have gotten it right because i've been like what does a car weigh ten thousand pounds i i'm now i'm scared about the rest of these because i i did i have words and i was like yeah these must be accurate

39:31Mark Fischbach:descriptions right says he pulled a train mark and i are picturing like the biggest fucking train in existence i'm like man i had i had yeah i had eddie hall in my head i'm like man this must be some beard it must be some guy i know all right hey you know what the next one will be

39:48Ethan Nestor:a thing that we none of us have done but we know something about all right we're funny guys we do this is a comedy show we're we're not stand-up comedians but we know some things right so mark Tell me, how long do you think David Scott from the United States, stage name The Midnight Swinger, had to perform stand-up comedy to set the Guinness World Record for the longest stand-up comedy show by one person? Do people have to keep laughing? I don't think there was any requirement of even people watching. It could have been this dude alone on a stage with a Guinness World Records person just there making sure he was making jokes.

40:32Either the the guinness records keeper there had the greatest time of their life and was just rolling for however many hours or that was the toughest thing does it have to be original

40:46Ethan Nestor:material that's the question so it's not super clear if he was allowed to like repeat material I would assume that the point is you can't just say the same joke over and over until you pass out. God, imagine 24 hours of that. He could have, like, written down in memory. I'm guessing he had to memorize. Guys, breaking news. On April 25th of this year, this record was broken by, what's his name? Benny Elbows. So we're talking about a different number now. Benny Elbows holds this record, okay? I just want you to know. How many years between breaking it? The one I have was set in 2013, and on April 25th, 2025, Benny Elbow snatched the record.

41:32Ethan Nestor:It took 12 years to break this. He wasn't waiting for the guy to finish his set, don't worry. Did he have to? He just sat on the edge of the stage for 12 years like, come on, they're giving you the signal, wrap it up! Flashing light means you're done! Do you know any of the constraints Did it have to be memorized or could he Was he allowed to have like The jokes written out Anything like that? There were no constraints About like cause obviously stand ups do that Where they have notes and stuff on stage I feel like that's normal the thing was Couldn't leave the stage Couldn't stop had to continue To like banter and make jokes And I it's not specific but I Have to assume it had to be at least Relatively unique jokes Like maybe it was just doing an observation and humor about whatever shit he thought about or whatever but he was on stage for this amount of time and at no point did he stop for long enough that like the person judging felt like he stopped

42:30Mark Fischbach:doing stand-up comedy okay man that poor judge uh alone with a judge just stone-faced for months listening to this stand-up okay so they've done like dancing records not that i know what those are, but I know they're long. People have done marathon streams, you know, for more than 24 hours. I'm guessing it's more than 24 hours. I'll give you that. It's more than 24 hours. All right. I'll take it. All right. Both of you can have that. Wade, you're allowed to have that knowledge. Thank you. Probably wasn't two days because it is still an energy intensive thing. So I'm going to split the middle. I'm going to go with 36 hours.

43:09Wade? 54 hours and 30 minutes. I love your optimism, Wade.

43:14Ethan Nestor:On April 25th, 2025, good old Benny Elbows broke the record by doing stand-up alone on stage for 40 hours and 16 minutes and 48 seconds by himself. Wait, what did he say? What did he say? He said 56 hours.

43:34Mark Fischbach:I said 54 hours and 30 minutes. He said way too many. Ah, hell yeah. Okay, so I actually was close. I thought I was going to be way up. We could beat that record. Give me a stage. Flash the light of me. I got this.

43:48Ethan Nestor:I actually 100 % believe that you could break that record. Given some time to work up some material and have some ideas, I could see you talking for 48 straight hours on the stage. Even if no one was there, you would just happily... You could talk. But you can't take a bathroom break. You can't take a... I wonder if he had a diaper on or had a catheter put in or something. I always think they must have something like that. That's too long to go without actually physically peeing, right? Like, you can't do...

44:18Mark Fischbach:It does mean no eating, no sleeping, no pissing, no shitting.

44:21Ethan Nestor:You can have, like, a snack. As long as you can make a joke while you're doing it, I'm sure it's fine. I just can't wait till that special comes out on Netflix, you know?

44:28Mark Fischbach:Yeah, I can't believe the Midnight Swinger got knocked off by Benny's elbows.

44:32Ethan Nestor:I know, Benny's elbows took out the Midnight Swinger in a classic stand-up showdown. Man, Mark's killing it. I knew you'd be good at this one, Mark. I'm killing it too, right? Okay Wade you get to go first on this one Longest bout of hiccups Charles Osborne Of the United States USA USA Triggered a bout of hiccups While lifting a hog To try and weigh it on a scale Started having hiccups And they lasted for quite a while How long did they last And I'll give you a hint on this one We're going for a number of years here It is measured, this record is measured in years Cause I remember here, there's people that like Can't stop hiccuping, aren't there?

45:18Ethan Nestor:This is not anything where like he had a Disease or a condition That caused him to have hiccups This was a, as far as I could tell And it's Guinness, so Sure they checked really thoroughly This is just like a bout of hiccups that he got And they lasted and they ended Not with him dying But they just ended on their own and he stopped having hiccups

45:38Mark Fischbach:Coincidentally his favorite brand of music Is Hick Hog I don't know what that is. I'm confused. Is what? Say it again. Louder. Hick hog. It was a hip hop pun.

45:49Ethan Nestor:I like it less now. Six years. Six years. All right. Mark, what do we think? Have they figured out why you get hiccups? I don't actually know that. Irritated diaphragm, nervous system disorder, metabolic imbalances like low electrolytes, low calcium or magnesium levels. medications can cause it and gastrointestinal issues like gastritis gerd esophageal cancer other things that would affect your diaphragm in ways also can be caused by emotional stress like anxiety or intense excitement yeah lots of lots of animals get it though so i wouldn't think it would be a disorder i mean almost all animals get it anyway that's a topic for another day when was this record set the record was officially set and recorded in 1990 i believe he's still Still hiccuping to this day.

46:41Ethan Nestor:35 years. Well, the record was set when his hiccups ended, just to be clear. Okay, goddammit, fuck me, man. But you can still guess 35 years, it just stretches the other way. You thought I was being so clever. I thought I was really sussing that one out. You know what, Mark? You were being clever. Charles Osborne contracted his bout of hiccups in 1922 hiccuped for 68 years holy shit I said 6

47:17Mark Fischbach:you did 6 was in there you're right buddy the T8 was implied

47:22Ethan Nestor:in 1990 his hiccups went away and that's when the record was set at 68 years of hiccups damn that would suck yeah that would suck Well I guess you get used to it I like the color of commentary on this In that time while he had hiccups He got married Had a family Watched his kids grow up Watched them have grandkids And then was an elderly man When he stopped having hiccups in 1990 He lived his whole life Everything important that happened to him Probably, mostly Except for the pig part before the hiccups He had those hiccups

48:00Mark Fischbach:I guess sex with hiccups could add some interesting moments. It's very surprising. I do wonder no, it wouldn't have anything to do with like Tourette's or something like that. Because it can't be a disorder because every animal has it, right? You ever seen a squirrel with Tourette's? Hey!

48:18Sorry. Sorry.

48:23That's offensive. That's offensive.

48:26Mark Fischbach:You can't make those jokes. It probably is.

48:29Ethan Nestor:I'm sorry. I guarantee you that's probably really funny to anyone with Tourette's. I don't have Tourette's and I'm not speaking for them. We can ask someone with Tourette's, but I'm pretty sure they might say that that was really funny. If you're out there on the Reddit, if you happen to have it, let me know. I'll read all the comments. Or if you're a squirrel. Dude, if there's squirrels out there on the Sep Reddit, I want to meet them.

48:55Mark Fischbach:I guess I've seen a dog with hiccups. I'm trying to think of animals I've seen with hiccups.

48:59Ethan Nestor:I've seen dogs. I've definitely seen like bigger animals. I feel like I've seen a cow have hiccups. Cats have had... Cats. I think I've seen a cat have hiccups. Yeah, probably. I've seen like kittens or something. I believe that it's not like Tourette's. So, I had another point to make while I was saying that it's gone. It's completely out. We're solving the mysteries of hiccups on this episode or something. Anyway, Mark, you get to go first on this one. That one took a long time. So, let's go for a speed one. Less Stuart of Australia set this record less typed numbers from one to one million out on a computer keyboard.

49:38Ethan Nestor:It the, the words, not the numbers. So like one O N E two T W O one to one million set the speed record fastest time ever to type all the words from one to one million. how fast did Les Stewart type one to one million okay so he had to write like 100 ,000 da da da so this is more than a million words he's writing way more oh it's an ungodly amount of words to be typing out I can't do math that high it was a speed record though this must have happened quickly right yeah but if I was gonna go based on like average words per minute that you could type, but I don't know how many words that is. It would probably take so long that he would have to sleep.

50:27Ethan Nestor:I hope that that's true, given what this record is. Yes, I think that's almost definitely true. If you were doing 50 words per minute, like average. I would say, I would hope he was a more above average typer. So I don't know where that falls, but like 100 to 130 is like fast, like really good. At least by the time he's halfway through this, he's going to be fast anyway right man those hyphens those hyphens would get you if you had to put those in so let's say i i would like to think he was fast but you can't keep that up forever i get tired typing so let me just round it to 100 if you were doing a million that would be 10 000 minutes but it's more than a million how many hours is 10 can i give my answer in minutes sure sure sure okay 10 000 minutes would be a million words it's probably way way way way more than that 100 ,000 minutes how many days is that hey nice 69 days 69.4 repeating days but 69 days Yeah, all right, Wade.

51:31Ethan Nestor:How fast do you think? Less all less typed one to 1 million out in words

51:38Mark Fischbach:I mean he has to be basically doing only this all day, right? You're going for the record It's like you're doing this all day 12 days And Mark's official guess was 69 days

51:50Ethan Nestor:I mean wait my math was sound It was good math Mark did math okay He did a lot of math I'll give you the answer It's 16 years What? 16 years? So I will say I may have misled you Apparently it was on a typewriter not on a computer I saw a picture that I think was not of him It was like a stock photo of a person typing on a computer. It was in 1982, Les started typing out all of these numbers on a typewriter. But that also makes sense because that means there's an official record of it, right? He has all of these pages. They're not saved somewhere digitally. They exist. They are typewritered out.

52:32Ethan Nestor:And over the course of 16 years until December 7th, 1998, he just worked at it as much as he possibly could and successfully typed out all of the numbers one to one million in word form. So no one was no one else is attempting this, I'm guessing. So he probably said it by default. There might be attempts in progress right now. So I win again. I win again. Apparently he was partially paralyzed after a tour of combat duty in Vietnam and did this with just one finger and had a lot of free time because he was a paralyzed veteran of Australia's armed forces or whatever. And so he spent he he did not exclusively do this for 16 years, but he spent a lot of time doing this.

53:22Ethan Nestor:But he used one finger to type out. I don't even know how many words that is, but it's got to be 100 million plus. There is a picture of him. If you if you would like to see there's a picture of him sitting in a in a pile of paper That looks like this holy

53:42Mark Fischbach:Shit yeah, I feel like um Typewriter and one finger would have adjusted our math a little and you also said let's go for speed

53:50Ethan Nestor:Yeah, you know, I don't know why Mark's mad mark on another point. Oh, I'm not mad. That was me. Did it sound mad? I wasn't mad. No, I wasn't mad. I wasn't mad at all wait You haven't got a single one of these.

54:01Mark Fischbach:Well, I, yeah, I had some assumptions going in that ended up being incorrect on the speed round. Hey, so did Mark.

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55:16Ethan Nestor:I think we should do one final Round that it turns out Is worth Don't say it, it's fine. Just let me lose. Two points. Three points. We'll do three points. Unfair. Unfair. All right. I mean, I feel like this one, I feel like that's the most clear I can do. Yeah, no. Okay. So I said this final round is worth three points. So it's either going to be worth normal points or six points, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I think that has to be it. Oh! Oh, I got heads. I got heads. Tails. Why are you sad? You get it. Oh, is that good for me? It could be if you get it. I was just hoping something funny would happen.

56:03Ethan Nestor:I met heads. Ah, there he is. There we go. No, no, no, no. All right. This, like I said, this one is worth three points. This record is for the most apples held in own mouth and then cut in half by chainsaw in one minute. This is a person taking an apple and going, and then taking a chainsaw and going, and cutting the apple in half while holding it in their mouth. Jesus. And I have a picture, and it's not a small chainsaw.

56:38Mark Fischbach:If you fuck this up, it's like you're done. There's no practicing this. Oh, no, you don't want to go into this with no practice, Wade. I swear to you. well yeah but i mean like you speak

56:50Ethan Nestor:i uh yeah so this is most apples held in mouth and cut by chainsaw in one minute and i just want to say i think i know exactly why this happened this record was set in uh november of 2020 so this person was in the heart of covid lockdowns trapped in their house trapped in their apartment whatever and was like god i'll do anything for a thrill and they landed on apples in mouth cut with chainsaw obviously all right well i don't think many people are going to be trying to beat this record who goes first i go first uh wade you go first for three points 12 i'm gonna act this out because mark do some do some science mark do some science do some science yeah no no i I got there's no better science than Xperia science recreate it for us and go

57:48Mark Fischbach:I was thinking they had to put the whole thing in their mouth and then like half spit it out and cut it You just put it in solid put it in solid That's a close one. I'm scared I dropped it Ten or something. I don't know and I'm going for it and now I'm speeding up cuz I'm hitting my rhythm

58:0914, 15, 16. My clock went away. Why did my phone lock? 17. 18. 19. Okay, slowing down again. Getting tired, getting scared. I'm nervous because my hands are shaking because I might be in it. Adrenaline, world record's right there. Everyone's watching. 4. Okay, there's 22. Get one more. 23.

58:40Ethan Nestor:23 and wade was 12 12 well i'll let you have a look at the record holder for most apples cut oh my god yeah look how big that chainsaw is i was thinking it'd be like one of those like six inch long chainsaws that you use to like cut a shrub this is not a like a big full-size crazy chainsaw but that's over a foot of chainsaw blade right he does have an assistant so i didn't factor that i thought it was alone being handed the apples i guess i guess i was being pretty light with the chainsaw so yeah i have no i don't even really know how fast a chainsaw cuts through an apple i assume kind of fast about as fast as it'll cut through his face which is fast well it was pretty fast because wang wang lee of china cut a total of 28 apples oh mark your science was so sciencey you almost got it dead on which i didn't say anything but i would have probably given you bonus points for oh my god what a bunch of science you did there anyway because there is a limit there's a limit to how fastened that was worth three points wow uh re-doosies you know the

59:54Mark Fischbach:rarer unfair oh he called re-doosies too late the ones per season unfair re-doosies remember All right, delete the episode. If it lands on ads, we delete it. We start over. We do it with the same questions, and I go first. I'll still get them wrong.

1:00:12Ethan Nestor:And Mark was just all over this episode. I was trying to cut stuff in your favor, Wade, but Mark couldn't segue hard enough into the topic of the episode and then didn't let you have one of them. The train one. The train one. Didn't Mark get the train one? No, I didn't get the train one. I was way over. I said 20 tons. That's right. Good job, Wade. You did get one. Thanks. I'll do Wade's points first. Wade, you earn so many points for Saw movies, wind resistance gimp suit. It's like a Lincoln log. Half-ass joke. Wanting to know how long Mark is. Pirate ship joke. Old midnight swiner. You got half a point for the number six and you got the point for the train record.

1:01:04Mark Fischbach:In my brain, there's a point for Hick Hog, but that's fine.

1:01:07Ethan Nestor:Well, I like your brain. That's a much better place for your score. Mark, you earned points for... Uh-huh. Eddie Hall. A segue. I didn't finish the movie. Chuck E. Cheese getting arrested. Another segue. Stop. I gave you the point to stop, and you did. Dom merged. Old booty. You got the booty was the breath holding one. You got the standup comedy record. You got the hiccups record. 68 years of hiccups. You got the typing numbers record and you got the Apple chainsaw record. Leaving the point totals at Wade with eight and a half and Mark with 13. 13!

1:01:57It is statistically improbable.

1:01:59Mark Fischbach:Golf rules! Golf rules!

1:02:02Ethan Nestor:Yeah, I think golf rules and maybe a couple other things are basically your only shot here.

1:02:06Mark Fischbach:Golf rules and sudden death. Unless you add minus five points to the wheel.

1:02:14I mean... We don't have a bankrupt, I suppose, but then it would have to be spun for a person, and we wouldn't be able to assign...

1:02:22Ethan Nestor:What's a good record? I'm trying to think of record-themed ones. We already have the most points. That's already kind of a record-themed one. First contestant to say my ass out loud. Did we already do that, or do we have to do it after it comes up? It's a reaction one. As it spins, once it's selected, there's no starting point. Oh, you have to say, my ass, my ass! You have to say, my ass, my ass, my ass! First one to say my ass gets the point. It's like you with the squirrel with Tourette's. Squeak! Squeak. Whoa! It's not three! For the first time of almost ever, it's not three spins, it's one spin.

1:03:06Ethan Nestor:All right, well. So you're saying there's a chance. I mean, there's not not a chance. I'm just going to, it's just going to say, say my ass on the wheel. So we'll be like, say my what? And someone's going to realize that it'll happen. A couple shuffles, one spin for all the glory. Come on, that's all I need is one. I believe in you, Wade.

1:03:33Ethan Nestor:Oh, that feels a little bit like a slap in the face. I'm not going to lie. Well, there wasn't a comeback. Let's say that. So yeah, there was no comeback. So there was a re-spin. I think re-spin. Yes, yes, yes. I think that is actually fair. I won't argue. I mean, I'm trying to be fair, man. How many times is best looking? Quite a few. My hair has been... Amy got me this new curl activating leave-in conditioner. Yeah, well, I showered last night, shaved my head last week. I guess I haven't showered in a bit if that is the criteria because my hot water has been broken.

1:04:16Mark Fischbach:I even wore stripes today, and if I learned one thing from Catch Me If You Can, It's that stripes are the way to make my pins. I will say you look good. You look good today. You polished it

1:04:24Ethan Nestor:So I was up to Bob since it really doesn't matter and it seems like he could use it I'm gonna give the point to Wade.

1:04:30Mark Fischbach:That's fair. Okay. I don't like the Criteria to let up to it, but I'll take the point you you're aware of the situation buddy. You're

1:04:39Ethan Nestor:Welcome, it looks like he could since he looks like sees can use it pretty much Yeah, that's basically what I'm saying that puts the final score at Wade with nine and a half Half. And Mark with 13. Thank you. Congratulations, Mark. Would you like to give your winner's speech? I used my brain to deduce the answers here, which means that I don't even need to set records. All I need to be able to do is guess records. And I think that that is the moral of today. So long as you put your mind to something, you'll figure it out. A great moral from a great competitor. the best competitor in this episode you might say

1:05:22Mark Fischbach:Wade, loser speech? I had this loss coming, I deserved it I realize now that karma was out for me ever since I made light of the name Halfthor I found some humor in it early on, I shouldn't have, I should have understood and respected rather than go in with the joke, sometimes you shouldn't go in with the joke, but I realized that mistake too late, I take this L it is my cross to bear and I deserve it well deserved.

1:05:49Ethan Nestor:Thank you for your speeches. Congratulations to Mark. That means Mark's going to be hosting the next one because that's how the show works. Make sure you follow all of us. Our names are on screen, but if you don't cool enough to watch, it's Markiplier, Lord Minion777, or Minion777 and MySkirm. Make sure you follow the show on your favorite podcast platform of choice. The video is available on Spotify and on YouTube, but you can follow it on all the other podcast platforms where it's available for listening pleasures and so on and so forth. I'm not going to say the thing. I'm going to leave that be and we're just going to move right on to the end of the show where I say podcast out.

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