Shame, Shame, Shame

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2:22This episode. Yes, it's time for shame, shame, shame. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome back to Distractable. Yes, I switched to my radio voice. No, I wasn't just talking like this a little bit ago. But are my friends going to call me out on this? No, they are not because they're my friends. And you're my friends for listening to this or watching it. Hi, I'm Markiplier, here to bring you another beautiful episode of Distractable. The only show that you'll ever need in your life and all the other ones that we're definitely above now in the rankings after my hit episode, Drama Alarm.

3:11Did you see the thumbnail for that one? Yes. It's one word like Sam made me. It's like the Joe Rogan experience. Call her bald made me laugh so hard.

3:21Mark Fischbach:oh yeah there it is i saw i had blonde hair and i was like it's too i i can't look at this right now oh yeah what was it was a baby expert or dad expert dad expert yeah yeah i was actually surprised that the last uh episode drama alarm came across so well you guys were very funny and i told you as much i thought it was good but we definitely didn't go down three spots in the ranking since then that doesn't count because it hasn't the the effect the ripple of it oh right Right. Those other podcasts are going to get here about it and they get angry. And then that's going to feed back into us. You know, any minute now, TMZ is going to pick up the article, Mark and Dax Shepard drama, you know, it's coming.

4:07Mark Fischbach:Archiplier and friends shit on other creators. Such a meteoric rise up. The podcast charts will never have been seen before. My strategy will play out and just, and also today is another extension of that. but I'll get to it later. Oh, good.

4:27Mark's 10 part marketing beef strategy. No, no, no, no, no. You'll get it. But first we got to, oh, I got to get out my point.

4:34Mark Fischbach:I just love the idea of slowly turning our podcasting careers into a nuclear explosion. So we go out, we go out in style. We could do that. What's up, Trauma Alarm Nation? 8 % battery on my remarkable. That's probably enough just don't write too much Don't worry, I won't Don't know where you guys are I agree Wade gets the agree point Which is weird because I think the last time I scored I gave you an agree point and it subtracted a point Let me check that I think you gave him an agree point for agreeing with me and somehow it became my point Yeah, somehow Also, I wrote that on a piece of paper and not this thing so I can't confirm that But wait, you got an agree point So who wants to go first on their small talk?

5:13I learned a new way to smoke meat this weekend Anyone want to hear about it? But you roll it then you light one in No I was going to say bong No I always thought All I have is a charcoal grill Just a Weber kettle grill Basic one Whatever it's a grill And I always thought to smoke stuff you had to like Soak wood chips in water Or put them in like a foil pouch Or there's a whole situation My dad came to town this weekend And smoked a pork shoulder And turns out all you need is big fucking chunks of wood and if you put them on the charcoal but then keep the lid on it and manage the air they just don't ignite but they smoke anyway my dad made the best smoked pulled pork shoulder i've had in a while this weekend and it was real good it homemade pulled pork it's okay i elevated my steak cooking method because lately i've been doing a higher protein diet um trying to lose some weight and get in shape again it's going well thanks for fucking asking um i didn't ask bobby you're the source of my ire i'm giving you an ire point i'm glad you said something

6:18Mark Fischbach:i'm gonna tell me you look the same but you already were mean so i thought you were looking shorter oh no you're losing height not weight no i i so i've been cooking a lot of steaks also i've been getting really good at getting deals at the store you go right before closing or right after open and you wait you watch the manager walks the floor with those coupons and the gun that prints out the clear who are you me if i'm gonna get all the wheel bonus points this episode and i'm gonna win you guys are fucking hell jesus

6:58don't even try to compete with you know anyway so you follow the manager around you you wait for them to get to the meat section because obviously like meat's pretty expensive right and i'm sorry anybody that doesn't eat meat but i do and it's you know if they if they could i've always said if there comes a day when they get artificial meat good as good as steaks or even close and it's getting there it's getting closer i will do it but there was some uh information recently about how some of those protein profiles that they were talking about were not as good as they claim them to be but i got like at uh the equivalent of kroger's out here a two pack of uh uh, bone in ribeye steaks for like 799 a pound.

7:42They were going to expire in two days. And I scooped up two packs of that froze two of them. And then I started cooking again. And used to, I used to do them in the air fryer, right? Uh, to the bane of everybody who loves a good steak, I would cook mine in the air fryer. It wasn't bad, but with a one sauce, anything can be good. But I learned a new strategy recently is I pop it in the air fryer at a low temperature, right as low as it'll go which is usually like 300 you know that's not super low but it's low enough because one of the ways that a lot of good restaurants or people that actually care about cooking it they bake it first to get in reverse sear reverse sear right so i while that's going i'm heating up the pan to like a screaming temperature like as hot like stainless high carbon what are you cooking on well it's this new or non-stick i actually invested in good pots and pans and they're very nice i don't know what they're made of um but i i did it once or twice in a stainless steel and i've done it in a the cast iron cast iron was best but such a pain they have to clean i'm looking for convenience so i got the non-stick there get it up to 500 something degrees with a temperature gun i'm looking at it as soon as it's ready to go chase it with like a little bit of butter first just so it browns the butter because butter will brown so fast out of temperature as soon as this pops in slam that steak in like it'll just go crazy get the edges sear the fat cap flip the other side on the other side of the pan where it's still hot super brown delicious i'm actually making decent steaks and i got this like garlic rosemary rub oh it's good shit i've not had lunch yet and this is the most painful small talk we've had in a while because i'm just like yeah how could because baking in an oven would take too long but air fryer oh yeah yeah air fryer it is useful for that no that's good yeah what what fancy restaurants and chefs do is sous vide up to temp and then sear it after but the air fryer is good because it at a low temp it is like uh it's similar to sous vide because it's like convecting right it's more but i could see that i could see that working it's basically a convection oven and it's like not as good because the heat transfer won't be as slow and even but it's still not bad and i know you're looking for convenience but if you're looking for perfection on stakes on a pan i gotta point you towards high carbon steel it's those black steel pans and they like oxo sells a high carbon steel pan for like a very reasonable price so good so dense it it has a similar capability to cast iron but it's a little bit more it's way lighter weight because it's like a normal and it but oh i love my high carbon steel pan that sounds pretty good yeah it's hard to be the convenience some nonstick i do get that yeah best steak i ever did was with like i seared it first and then butter basted for like 10 minutes but that's annoying because you got to sit there with it tilted for 10 minutes scooping splattering butter all over the stove if you're doing it like every day every other day you don't want to do that all the time i'm not doing that i get good enough with what i'm doing so anyway wade you hungry i'm so hungry all right and then i made some ice cream.

10:43Wait, do you like ice cream? Oh no. I left my lunch out of the fridge. My lunch is not good. I pre-made it, pre-mixed a protein shake. That's my lunch. Quick, tear down your wall of cushions. Oh, sorry. Don't mind me.

11:00Are those cinder blocks? What is that made of? Shush. Shush. Chico go help daddy oh never mind Chico cameo father come back father I was telling you guys

11:19Mark Fischbach:this a little bit off camera so I cheated but uh Poki Rogue new weekly addiction I find a new one every week uh the game's a year or so old they're still constantly updating it you start off with all the starters you go you just battle and catch battle and catch you get like egg voucher things that you put into a gacha system you hatch you're trying to get shinies and legendaries and shiny legendaries because having shinies on your team uh boosts the quality of drops and stuff you increase the luck stat it's a whole thing i don't know i don't know how many hours i've put on in the last seven days in that game because i can play it's a browser you play on your browser so i can play on my phone my tablet computer whatever it's everywhere i go you have to beat classic mode then you can unlock something called endless mode endless has an ending i found out i haven't even unlocked it.

12:07Mark Fischbach:Of all the hours I've put in, I've not beaten Classic yet. I guess I'm not great at the game, but I have a lot of fun with it. And I did hatch, there's different tiers of shiny you get. There's like the common tier 1, tier 2, then tier 3 is the rarest, and each have like a bigger boost. The rarer, the more boost you get to your luck stat. I've only ever hatched one shiny, but it was a shiny Articuno, which is kind of cool. Next time I win, I should just host an episode where I just play that the whole time and just make you guys talk and then write down some bullshit points. Another bit a small talk we were making steak here at the house and uh we didn't have like we were trying to do something quick at night so we had one of those like bob evans mashed potato pre-made thing just to toss in and it was like the last one we had and it was like oh it's we were just craving it was like a garlic mashed potato we were craving it was like oh man i'm gonna pair this with the steak some green beans gonna be great go to like get the mashed potato out and it's not been sealed properly when they when they packaged it so it's been exposed to air it's leaking all the liquid is out we had to throw it away like we had the steak and it was like the one thing we wanted to like have the perfect pairing that we were craving and we had to throw it out and not eat it and it was the rest of the meal was still good but like it's missing that it was very sad no i feel you i feel i've i've actually had that before i'm like yeah i'm craving i was defrosting this piece of salmon this morning it's gonna be great and by the time i get there in the evening i'm like oh i I defrosted it last week.

13:31Ah, shit, that wasn't this morning at all. And it's incredibly old. So, yeah, I've done that before. I'll give you a point for that. Mashed potatoes of sadness. That's good. Another green bean kick lately, which are apparently good for you, I guess. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, especially if they're made right. Thinking about refreshing the carpet in your home? Now's the time to do it. For a limited time at the Home Depot, Get 10 % off installed carpet projects on trusted brands like LifeProof, LifeProof with PetProof Technology, Home Decorators Collection, and Traffic Master. Plus, with installation starting at just 49 cents per square foot, upgrading your space is more affordable than ever at The Home Depot.

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14:35Mark Fischbach:This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. to them or the FBI. I'm not 100 % sure. Yep. When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will, we're on our way. Uber. On our way. Download the app today. So neither of you got the transition point, or the segue point.

15:12It was shame related. I was looking for something shameful that you were going to admit, and I don't think either of you had any shameful actions. I'm bald. It's not shame. There's no shame in that, buddy. You gotta be proud. I'm tall and bald? Those are both admirable qualities in many circles. I don't think that you need to be shameful for that. Did you guys see there was a tennis match where one of the tennis players, I don't know who, I don't watch tennis, but one of the players was signing things in the stands. And this kid was all, Oh, it's my favorite tennis player. just like it's just a little kid and you know the guy was wearing a hat just like mine just like mine i'm not saying that i'm the guy in this story but it's not just like the kid or the tennis player the tennis player had a hat and so he signed something signed something and he takes his hat off and he he hands it up towards the kid looks away expecting the kid to grab it some guy big tall guy just like you wade just kind of like you wow i just happen to have a new hat recently but he right out of the kid's hands uh the kid goes oh like a baby you know yeah be bigger kid you'll win next time you know it's funny you say that it's funny you say that okay because i want to read you because i'm skipping ahead but that's so funny because uh from the guy who did this dear lady subject statement dear ladies and gentlemen due to the fact that your hysteria is getting out of control i have decided to issue a statement to clarify who should receive the hat i emphasize that i won the hat because i am stronger and therefore i am consciously keeping it i do not greet people sick with envy coach of winners peter cesarek

17:06Mark Fischbach:i'm bigger i'm stronger i'm better the kid didn't win the competition even though the hat was aimed him to be given to him as a gift i intercepted it just like in sports it's mine suck it kid at pretty much i mean i i don't get where people could possibly have an issue with this so wade you're in the firm camp of this guy's right bob no wait i'm giving you a point for that you go like okay the guy was stronger period well i i just want to say i think both uh peter and wade probably should lose that point because the original statement from this guy was that was what you said and he was immediately like i deserve that it's my hand i'm stronger than that stupid kid yeah apparently in the last 24 hours he issued a different statement where he was like Uh, actually, I've come to realize that what I did was I made a mistake.

18:11And I was so sure, because my kids had asked for an autograph before, and I was so sure the guy was handing the hat to me, I instinctively reached for it. And what may look like me stealing something from a child is actually me securing something very important for my own child because of good strong parental instincts i'm sorry i hurt the boy and disappointed my many fans your fans i don't know the statements in polish all i have is translations and i have no idea how accurate these are honestly but uh it hurts for me but i needed a needed lesson in humility that's why i will be even more actively involved in initiatives that support children and adolescents in actions against violence and hate.

19:00Mark Fischbach:They won't be. Man, the backpedal of the week right there, dude. What is that dated? That's a Facebook post yesterday at 8 a.m., I assume, Polish time. So that's in like the last 24 hours. But he's keeping the hat. He learned his lesson, but he's keeping the hat. No, no, no. According to this statement, the hat has been given to that child. Oh, wait, no. actually wait no it's just bad translation he was explaining like you know what the hat was supposed to be given to that boy and i'm sorry to him i kept the hat i'm in poland now the kid's not polish he's not even here but i'm humeled i'm very humeled now there's no way to get this hat to wherever that kid was from whatever poor country he was from this statement claims that that previous his statement with all the ballsiness in it was not even him.

19:55If true, not a backpedal. If not true, even more epic backpedal. This guy was like, I never even said that. That wasn't even me. Those words don't even exist. Check the internet. It's all AI. It's made. It's in your imagination. Right. I want to read one more statement that may or may not be true. It's just, you know, text on the internet. Who knows? But hilarious. dated one day before that statement you read on the 31st of august thanks to this hat i'll soon be on dancing with the stars and what about you are you still crawling for minimum wage

20:39no evidence that this is real but god i hope it is i'll bet that kid can't even get a job anyway he's also suing anyone that says anything negative about him for uh libel and slander so we're all uh wade you're being sued i thought i was him no yeah bob you're being sued why am i being sued i i'm i was giving him credit for his enormous back pedal oh you're right you're right i'm being sued okay okay we can all agree to that i want to know what the truth is in all of this what's happening here i think he is a dick uh because you don't do that without being a massive douche uh period it doesn't matter what anyone says otherwise he stole a hat from a kid didn't even remotely regret and we've seen video evidence of this happening all the time you've seen like ladies at baseball games of being like a yoink right out of children's hands or like someone grabbing it like right out like pushing a kid out of the way to grab it you know there's been tons of evidence of that so i do not doubt this guy whatever he had in his head at that time was like mine get fucked kid so uh in the era of shame that's what the theme of this episode is we're going to talk about shameful moments in uh in the internet as it is right now if you've got any gripes against anyone or anybody could be podcast or otherwise uh i have one more if you guys need to think more or research more if you need time do you need time i need a second oh yeah all right cool i'm gonna talk to you uh do you guys know sabrina carpenter never met her this is nothing against her musicality by the way this is not what this is about oh here we go have you seen the music video for man child i think i've seen clips i it would have been nice i was scrolling on something but this music video came out called man child right and do you guys know robert rex

22:35Mark Fischbach:he's the chef yeah yeah the yeah i do i didn't at first but now when bob said that it jogged the memories and now it's back in my head i was like somewhere in this music it's so hard to find i can't even remember what time stamp he was he's in this music like robert rex has been in so many music videos as like an extra or a person in it he is like a music video guy he's been in tons in this particular one, his shot featuring him where he was driving, I believe he was driving some vehicle in there was cut early. You barely even got to see that it was him. And I think that is complete injustice.

23:16And I am shaming Sabrina Carpenter for, Oh, actually, I think it's in the beginning. It's like, it's like minute. Uh, no, is that him? I can't tell. I don't know. He's in this music video and he talked about it because it was a really fun shoot, but they didn't have him in it they cut anything that was featuring him is he driving the box truck that you can't see the driver of that she flips off as it goes past that might be him i i actually i really like this music video by the way if you haven't seen it it's such a fun watch with like really good usage of of vfx to do absurdist things uh really really interesting music video uh if you're if you're into sabrina's carpenter's music or not it's just a fun watch so it might be that box truck it might be any number of these vehicles but it's just ah i felt so bad shame on sabrina carpenter for not featuring the star of that music video and yes above sabrina carpenter robert rex should have been at the top of the building it's not really embarrassing for her honestly all right now that should have given you guys time to gather your shame all right who's uh i don't I didn't bring my coin again.

24:30Mark Fischbach:Oh, you better hope that that doesn't come up. Someone's in violation of distractible code 0317B. Man, that's the second time I've done this. I'll flip Chica. All right. All right. All right, Chica. Heads or tails? She actually got heads or tails. Man, one of us is going to feel really bad when we call it. Come here. Come here. Come here. All right. Who's calling? Who's what? Who's heads? Who's tails? I'm heads. Come on. Hop, hop, hop, heep, hop, heep. Okay. And flip You're so heavy She could probably flip you easy Flip Flip Flip Flip Editors make her flip For fuck's sake Just pick heads Ah heads Waits heads Me?

25:13Mark Fischbach:Yeah wait's tails Whatever's happening We're gonna start at the top And it'll all be less exciting from here But I'm going big at the start Okay I'm going after God I was in college Had my laptop Typing on my lap a bunch Apparently it's really bad wrist posture And I got like Carpal tunnel or whatever in my wrist Been playing like PokeRogue I was talking about earlier On my tablet, my phone, computer And I've been having like some pain In the this region of my hand And it's like Why make such a great game If you're gonna punish me for playing it asshole You know Why isn't my body adapted to play it all the time Why pain?

25:52Mark Fischbach:why hertzies so big guy upstairs not the best designer maybe hire someone next time get some help contract subcontract sure you can afford it the rich guy upstairs ain't trickling down enough you know what i mean yeah people say eat the rich i think we start up top all right okay that's a bold start that's gonna be hard to beat good thing it's not a beating competition it's a quantity competition. Bob? Wade? You want me to go again? No, no, me. It's my turn again. Okay, so I got another one. Alright, you guys know Sabrina Carpenter, right? Never met her. Got another bone to pick with Sabrina Carpenter.

26:32Mark Fischbach:Did you know Rex Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex? Rexy? We call him Rexy's? Minus one point, minus one point for Rexy. Did you know Rexy? I know the name, but my mouth didn't say it. Uh-huh, what is it? Robert Red. robert rex robert redford dear lord nope all right you're swinging a miss someone pointed out this actually isn't isn't for me uh amy told me about someone else starting to talk about this or multiple people being like hey wait a minute sabrina carpenter whose music is predominantly about sex and you know promiscuity and that's fine no judgment there but especially like the The style of music is trending towards Ninja Sex Party, both in the musicality.

27:22The theme was always there with like Ninja Sex Party literally being about nothing but sex, promiscuity. And now I never really got that from their music. But if you say so.

27:33Mark Fischbach:Oh, if you really appreciate it for the art. Yeah. You read Ninja Sex Party for the articles? You know, they do more, of course. And I'm sure Sabrina Carpenter. but people are saying like hey wait a minute she's just doing the same thing that ninja sex party did hey and it's cool because more attention should be gotten to ninja sex party in the first place but shame sabrina carpenter for ripping off ninja sex party i will have another sabrina around all right bob did that give you enough time honestly i don't have shit for this i'm gonna be 100 honest you know you could i'm gonna give you one if you want to take it you could have a gripe against the host for making you come up with gripes that you don't have yeah mark just assumes everybody has these common complaints that everybody has and i don't have them is this just a thing that's on your guys's minds is this like things come up and you're like wow they should be ashamed of that no i'm just kind of bullshitting as we go along to be honest with you yeah i mean i was last night we were watching something and i was like hey man that would be that'd be fun to talk about but i guess not it's fine whatever no it's not your fault it's me i just hate more people all right wait who do you hate you know what we're going with travis kelsey we've been talking to the music genre travis kelsey born cleveland ohio went to college university of cincinnati plays football kansas city is that kansas or missouri engaged to taylor swift from I'm writing Pennsylvania.

29:05Mark Fischbach:How many states and cities does this fucker need to claim? Just pick a place. Does he claim all those? Be loyal to a place, man. You're engaged. You want to be loyal to a person? Be loyal to a place. Pick Cincinnati. I just love it. Yeah, we're talking about musicality and music. Travis Kelsey, you know. Taylor Swift, music. You didn't say that. Does he hold a large claim on all of these places? I think he owns all of them. He owns most of Ohio, most of Missouri and Kansas and now Pennsylvania. I will say what's interesting is he got an honorary degree. I think he went back and actually got his degree in like 2022 from University of Cincinnati for something, which I don't know if that means he didn't graduate.

29:48We were in the same graduating year. So we were, I was, he was there somewhere when we were there, Bob. Playing football, I hear. he got a degree and as a guy with more instagram followers than him by five million university of cincinnati uh as the most famous alumni from university of cincinnati i think i think that you know maybe a degree or two would be i thought they'd even like email us to come do

30:17Mark Fischbach:like a caregiver speech for you know relay for life or american cancer society or something i I was like, oh, man, I can't wait to do something for Milford or UC. They just send me the alumni like, hey, you want to donate money? And it's like, I want to talk. I like talk. Is it because I didn't actually graduate? Is that what it is? You're the most embarrassing famous graduate from UC because you don't have the degree. You are that whenever they do this episode, they're like Markiplier. Shame. Hey, guys, I thought of one. UC should be ashamed for not giving Mark an honorary degree. Yeah, yeah.

30:52Can I actually get an engineering job with an honorary engineering degree? You assemble IKEA furniture all by yourself.

30:59Mark Fischbach:You could engineer stuff. Look at your great soundproofing behind you. You put that together on the episode. Well, Jason made those, but I asked Jason to do it. So basically, you know, I engineered him. So what you're saying is you should go straight to supervisor or manager. Yeah, you should be a managing engineer. But I don't think that they're going to give that to me. You know, you know, ow, my eye, something's in my eye. Quick, Bob, say your thing next while I deal with this. You know who should be ashamed? This is reaching back in the history of this podcast, but it's not to the company that people might expect in regards to a refrigerator.

31:37Samsung. Samsung should be ashamed because despite everything that happened in the Bob's Fridge episode being the fault of a different company or companies, the refrigerator that ultimately was installed eventually that did work, the one that froze into a solid sheet of ice in the bottom of it that I had to chip out by hand once every couple weeks, it was a piece of garbage. Samsung either stopped making refrigerators or steals someone else's design because holy fuck, how are you making refrigerators in the year of our Lord 2023 that just did turn into ice? It physically stops working and the problem isn't even technological it's the drain tube gets clogged who designs a drain tube that gets clogged anyway i thought of one samsung that's good fuck you guys also your your phones meh damn also your tvs not not bad actually but fine yeah not they're fine actually their their latest oleds um i i feel like an ass because i bought these lgo leds um just recently for my mixing room and then the reviews come out about the samsung and everyone's saying like wow they're basically perfect they don't get any burn in or anything and they're like color accuracy is undeniable for the price it's almost unbeatable and i'm like