Solar System Tier List

15:05Ethan Nestor:Okay, Grandpa. Everybody's monkey's turned into the beach today. Okay.

15:12Mark Fischbach:Before we start recording I don't want to hear the actual explanation

15:16Ethan Nestor:No no no Your monkey's turned into the beach There you go

15:23Mark Fischbach:This episode is brought to you by Grubhub I order food a lot And then you see that line that says Fees Grubhub's changing the game By eating The delivery and service fees on orders over$50

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15:48Mark Fischbach:Bye fees. Bye bye. Won't miss you. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip.

16:25Ethan Nestor:Today's episode topic, like I said at the beginning, so groundbreaking, so innovative, so fresh and new. We're going to be making a tier list. but not just any tier lists this is gonna be a tier list of stuff in space i know at least three things out there you probably know more than that yeah this is very unbiased and completely fair because everyone here equally likes things in space and has the same strong positive vibes about it in general i want this started as the idea of i wanted to do a tier list tier list of the planets in our solar system. But then I was like, well, there's some moons that we could talk about.

17:12Ethan Nestor:But also, if you guys have any other things that you like about space, like the ISS or like specific nebulas or something, or like it could be space. It could just be space stuff. But I want to start, I want to go inside out. We'll start with the sun and progress through the planets. No, Pluto is not a planet. We could discuss it later, but it's not a planet. It doesn't count unless it does. I don't know if they switch that back or what exactly. But we're making a tier list

17:38Mark Fischbach:I unironically like tier lists I know not everyone watching and listening did But I do enjoy a good tier list I like it as a pretext to just talk about stuff That's what it is It's like a reason for us to talk but also give something I don't know what some of these things is But I like the way they look

17:53Ethan Nestor:I like the way you look I'm gonna guarantee it We could start with the sun And we could work our way through the planets We could talk about moons with the planets Or we can save the moons for later It's very whatever we want Here and there Wither and dither I just want to talk about space stuff I'm curious where all of these things land And I'm curious how we're even going to decide that The sun First number zero in our solar system The actual center of the universe Probably can't unprove me scientifically I think this picture says Is a deadly laser I have this This starts pretty high up for me This could go as high as S tier for me, but I'm curious what you guys think about it.

18:38Look, if anything was worthy of being an S tier, it would be the sun because in power,

18:46Mark Fischbach:in other categories, orangeness, melts snow, flares, burns our enemies when we leave them outside tied to stakes. True, true, all true. Yes, I think it just is, unless it's so overdone that it becomes kind of generic, you know?

19:08Ethan Nestor:I do, I get that vibe, but I feel like Giver of Life gets to be S tier, I guess, you know? We sort of do need that guy. I don't think we've ever started a tier list with an S. We'll see if it stays so hot, but I feel like Sun belongs in S tier, and I'm comfortable with that. All right, let's talk about this next one. Big piece of shit.

19:30Mark Fischbach:Mercury. B for bitch. Nah, gotta be A because it's closest to the sun. No, I'm just kidding. It's not an A2. It's just getting smacked around. It's on a little leash, but the sun's got it on a leash. It's not tough for being annihilated with that much heat. It's not like Venus, right? Venus is crazy. Venus is nuts. I remember the little, what's the limerick for like my vagina? eats men just so... What's the... What's the one we all learned in kindergarten?

20:04Ethan Nestor:My vagina eats all men. My vagina eats many monkey penises.

20:10Mark Fischbach:There's two M's? Mars? Moopiter? Moopiter? Moopiter?

20:18Ethan Nestor:Okay, fine. My vagina eats monkey penises other ones. Pee? Poopiter? yeah you know why am i so hooked on p i don't know i was looking at phobos on the thing

20:34Mark Fischbach:the next one starts with p oh you got me moons you moons mark said b for bitch mercury i've got nothing really against it but nothing really for it what we have six b or c so i guess c c you don't get points for being first in line to be exploded you know no no moons No moon. Not even a moon. Venus. Does Venus have moons?

21:00Ethan Nestor:I don't think it does. Here, I'll show you my cheat sheet, apparently. Venus moons, zero. Okay, Venus is crazy. Well, V rhymes with B, so I say B. We recognize Venus for its... Venus way tougher than Mercury. I don't care if Mercury's closer. Venus, its atmosphere, the pressures, I don't even know why it does all that stuff that it does, but it rains like sulfuric acid or something like that it's it's nutso nutso butso b for butso

21:29Mark Fischbach:avoiding spoilers i'm pretty sure venus is also like it has significance in the plot of the book project hail mary i wouldn't know i haven't read it yet i'm not gonna go into any specifics but you know that put it on my radar even more than it already was so i think i think b tier is good for venus earth this son of a bitch no no no come on now people are from there and i don't like people see that's where i'm coming from i like people earth is a planet pretty cool lots of water nice ecosystems you add in humanity knocked it down a little bit obviously earth bagged a hell of a moon right huge moon for its size second only to pluto for bagging a moon in proportion to its size pluto p for planet but but okay earth have you seen that animation of earth hey have you seen her

22:27this animation was like a tiktok edit where it's like you know the sun's giving off its electromagnetic radiations blasting mercury just you know oh no and then venus is like but earth is you know it does like the the super tough edit of earth's electromagnetic magnetic field that is just tanking all the sun, you know, it's Earth's tough. You know, Earth is real tough. I got to give Earth a lot of credit for that. Let's I mean, we could talk about the people problem the entire day of this episode. So I'm objectifying it from outside of the people perspective. OK, what do you advocate for here?

23:05A? S? How high? I think A. I don't think quite S because let's be honest, we've discovered that the habitable zone is a lot wider than we think. There's probably plenty of Earth-like planets out there in the whole universe. I'll give you A, but only because of Soto and Fogu to Chao. I think that's fair.

23:22Mark Fischbach:I think that's a fair exchange, and that's a good point. There's a lot of things on Earth, but there's also meat and pasta. Is our moon the only one that doesn't have a name, or does our moon actually have a name? It has a maiden. It's called Luna. Oh, okay. Just a moon. It's just the one we know as Moon. I mean, that's a reason for S-tier in my mind. It's not a moon. It is the moon. We're not biased. We're not biased. But let's be honest. The earth didn't bag the moon. The moon bagged the earth. And that's because it came from, you know, you know, no, I don't. But I like the way you and I like this sun moon, both being S tier that that feels good.

24:04Ethan Nestor:That's true. I vibe with that a little bit. It's true. I mean, we've talked about before on the episode, but I'm still, I still think the cosmic coincidence of the sun and the moon being the same relative size in the sky and the only place where a total eclipse could possibly happen that we know of. Bonnie Tyler. Who?

24:23Mark Fischbach:Monty Tyler? Bonnie Tyler. She wrote the song, Total Eclipse of the Heart. Well, it didn't write. She sang. It's written, but never mind. So yeah, moon, S tier. You got me with eclipse, S tier. Total Eclipse of the Heart, S tier song. I'm easy to please, man. Pasta, good music.

24:36Ethan Nestor:All right. Mars thinks he's the sun Wants to be orange Actually turned red What an idiot Mars has ghosts

24:44Mark Fischbach:And Mars attacked Two things I didn't like about Mars Dude that movie traumatized me when I was a kid Which one? Ghosts to Mars or Mars attacks? Mars attacks I never actually saw the movie I want to point out Phobos and Deimos We're not there yet They don't even deserve to be on this list Those are rocks Deal But no wait We need something for F Out of here Nope, they're below F. They're deleted. Look, Mars is a wannabe in a lot of ways. Maybe I'll give it credit for at one point having life, but who has life and loses it? That's really...

25:20Ethan Nestor:Yeah, lost life. You know what happens to a doctor who loses life too much? Hmm? Not allowed to be a doctor anymore.

25:28Mark Fischbach:And Musk likes Mars. That drops Mars too, right? Yeah, what's that make it? Like a D? I'm thinking Mars might be our first D. I don't know if it deserves F Olympus Mons kind of gives it a little bit of credit biggest mountain in or it's a former volcano but it's a mountain let's be honest it's not gonna be a volcano ever again but biggest mountain as we know of so biggest protrusion gives it some big D energy that's a good point that's funny that is funny I hope everyone out there heard that joke and they went that is funny in the same monotone voice to prove how hilarious it was Just by saying that you're gonna have people come up to you And go that is funny

26:07Ethan Nestor:I'm gonna miss bald It's still so often that the clip comes up Where Mark is like Bob has a baby and I have a movie And I'm bald Forever The rest of our lives Jupiter baby

26:22Mark Fischbach:Phobos Deimos crew Rise up Phobos Deimos crew Fuck those idiots they're just rocks Jupiter's where men go to get more stupider Is that good or bad Probably bad. Well, I mean, if I've ever been to a place that makes me stupider, it's usually a fun time.

26:37Ethan Nestor:So I'm not going to say too much negative about that. It's also real big. Doesn't Jupiter have like an infinite storm? Isn't that what the spot on Jupiter is? It's just a never ending storm. I don't think it's an infinite storm. I think it's actually shrinking right now. Well, it's cold out. It'll get bigger when it gets warm. Infinite storm is actually, I'm skipping ahead, but Saturn, I believe Saturn is way cooler than Jupiter. Jupiter gets a lot of, I'm not saying Jupiter's bad. Jupiter's very cool. Lots of moons, kind of weak maybe ring, kind of, you know, it's kind of a little cringe ring.

27:14Can I say something embarrassing?

27:16Ethan Nestor:So Jupiter, Saturn, others, these are the gas giants in our solar system, right? They're gas, meaning that they're gaseous. I still struggle to conceptualize what exactly that means if it's a gas if it's a gas giant if it's a planet made of gas how do you determine the surface of the planet i guess there's no like atmosphere technically i think but then is it just like once you're inside the gas that's the planet but if you're not inside the gas that's

27:46Mark Fischbach:is there a line or some shit is it ever solid like does the gas solidify anywhere or anything Like, I don't understand. I don't get it either because it must be so big that there is like a gradation of the density of the gas, but it just ramps up really quickly of the pressure because it's so big. And it probably is a thing. I believe there is a core. Is there is there a core? If it storms in a gas, where does it land? I don't know. To Google.

28:17Ethan Nestor:Jupiter is not just a ball of gas. It's a complex gas giant with no solid surface, primarily composed of hydrogen and helium. The transition from gas to liquid and metallic states due to extreme pressure. There's a thick, gaseous outer atmosphere. Most of its mass is liquid metallic hydrogen surrounding a dense, possibly partially melted rocky core. Man, I could have understood this if I just Googled it earlier. Yeah, wow. Okay, so there is a rocky core. That makes sense to me because it's like... But it says there's no surface. You can't stand on the surface of it. The pressure just increases until it becomes impenetrably dense, which sounds terrifying.

28:54I don't want to penetrate it. Well, hold on. Okay, maybe Wade wants to penetrate it. I won't speak for all of us, I guess.

29:01Mark Fischbach:That sounds like a challenge. I think it's very B. Yeah, I was going to say, it can't be higher than B. I'd give you a B. I like B. B's good. B's a fair score.

29:11Ethan Nestor:I feel like it's happy at B. Oh, God, we got to do their moons. So we could skip, we could do the planets first and circle back to the moons or whatever Well, then I'm not gonna know what moon goes to what Well, actually I do know Europa, Callisto, and Io Oh, I know Io because it was in Destiny, right? Isn't Io one of the places you can go? Callisto is Callisto Protocol and Europa is the one with the giant ocean What's the first one? Candy Medic? What's it called? Ganymede, Candy Medic, yeah, yeah, it's my favorite moon

29:38Mark Fischbach:I don't know Ganymede, I like its little, like, sideburn it's got, that's cool Callisto and Io look pretty Yo is very pretty Ganymede, forgettable Ganymede, D, I don't care, whatever Callisto, Callisto Protocol Not a great game, but you know Had an interesting graphics thing that I was talking about before Europa kind of looks like someone spilled cinnamon on some whipped cream C for Callisto

30:01Ethan Nestor:C for Callisto I like Yo just for the name, not gonna lie Oh, Yo's a B

30:06Mark Fischbach:It was fun to go there in Destiny, probably It was a good place in Destiny, very yellow Europa makes me think of a cinnamon roll and I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't know anything else about it. So probably a C. I don't object. All right. Cranking through the moons. I appreciate it. And Ganymede's down. Yeah, I think I think those are good choices. Still no F's. Pretty good solar system. I think Saturn 8 here for me. Saturn is awesome. That ring, that ring is unreal. And you want to talk about like, OK, Jupiter's got this big red spot. Have you seen Saturn's fat ass?

30:39Ethan Nestor:No. Go on. Hang on, let me Google that. Saturn's fat ass. Saturn is the most oblate planet in the solar system, meaning it's significantly flattened at the poles and bulges at the equator. This gas giant's wide shape makes its equatorial diameter about 10 % larger than its polar diameter.

30:58Mark Fischbach:It's like an hourglass figure if the hourglass was just cut in half.

31:02Ethan Nestor:Saturn is actually the least dense planet in the solar system, making it a very lightweight yet fat planet. all right saturn is fat i like it uh look up saturn's hexagon saturn's hexagon how the hell is that happening aliens probably oh probably definitely way cooler than a red spot and that shit will never go away apparently it's like a bronzor if you know you know right pokemon fan i don't know i think saturn's cooler than earth i do too i would agree yes i think saturn has so much going for it. Like it might be the only S tier planet. Oh, it'd be pretty up there. I mean, it's ring. It's just shape.

31:43It's uniqueness. It's fat ass.

31:46Mark Fischbach:If you go to the context of earth having life, it's really cool. But if you're looking at the solar system and you see Saturn, you're like, that's so cool. I know the whole pale blue dot thing was taken from Saturn. You know,

31:58Ethan Nestor:doesn't Uranus have a, um, have rings or is it Neptune? Doesn't have like vertical rings, but they don't look nearly as cool, right? I know there's cock rings. I don't know about Uranus rings. I'm okay with Saturn in S here. I mean, I just look at Saturn. Saturn just so cool. The alien hexagon on the North Pole is top tier. I have to agree with that. It is super cool. Does Saturn have all of these moons? Saturn has a whole fuckload of moons. Jupiter has 92 moons, plus possibly up to like 600 other tiny, tiny ones. Saturn has 145 known moons. and the first six are the galilean moons right isn't that the thing is they're visible using

32:38Mark Fischbach:like land-based telescopes from earth because they're fucking huge quick glance i like my my mass memos i like memos looks like a death star it does look like the death star look at that titan is another one from uh destiny in it titan is in a lot of fiction warhammer titan's very important that bumps those two up on my list how big is titan compared to earth that's a good question to ask Google. Okay, Titan is bigger than our moon, but it's about like a quarter the size of Earth.

33:08Ethan Nestor:It's like half the size of Earth. 40 to 50 % the size of Earth in diameter. It's got more water than Europa. I didn't know that. Damn. I definitely didn't know any of this. It's much less dense. Its mass is only about 2 % of Earth's mass. Oh, you're still showing the hexagon.

33:24Mark Fischbach:No, wait, you're not. I am. I've got a tab open. I'm an idiot.

33:29Mark Fischbach:Boys, I think it's time to put me at a home and retire me from this podcast. It's been fun, man. It's been fun. I truly think after today, it's time. Send your applications to replace me because I think it's time. I need to go. I need to go. Titan seems kind of cool. Titan seems pretty boss. It'd be up there. I'm split between A or B. I'm not sure. Give Titan an A. Give Mimas a B. And the rest can go C, D. I don't care.

33:56Ethan Nestor:I feel like I like Titan more than I like Jupiter. And Jupiter's in B. So I feel like it has to go in a okay.

34:02Mark Fischbach:I'm fine with that

34:03Ethan Nestor:Like I would say below below earth in a I guess but like but the fact that it's in a tier

34:08Mark Fischbach:Yeah, that's pretty good Mimus next to yo to me got it. Mimus next to yo death star boob Oh, man, that might be s tier. Hold on. Let's talk about those death star boob.

34:18Ethan Nestor:Would you say it like that? I'm gonna say tethys d tier can't pronounce it terrible name

34:24Mark Fischbach:Iapetus looks like it's being thanos snapped the rest of them are just round and gray like tethys

34:29Ethan Nestor:The rest of them wish that they were our moon and they're just not. I don't know. What's default for moon? Do they start at C? I think yes, C. Nah, D. I think moons have to start at D because it's just like they're. Because it's like default for planet is C. Default for moon is. Okay. All right. Do we want Iapetus anywhere else or? Iapetus can go C. It looks interesting. It also has a Death Star. Yeah, I like it has a little Death Star nipple. I like it has cool coloring situation.

34:57Mark Fischbach:Actually, is it hexagonal too? Are both of those kind of hexagonal? Oh my God, are they? To Google. You know, if I was aliens, if I was aliens, I would make my base on Saturn because I'd be like, okay, this is just far enough away from Earth that they wouldn't get suspicious. But then I would make my big hexagons. People on Earth don't know shapes, those fucking idiots. We had to show them how to build a pyramid. I can't believe it. Never get a square or a hexagon. And they said, nice triangle. It's a pyramid. It's in the name.

35:32Ethan Nestor:All right, we're on a big business, boys. Oh, boy. Uranus. Funniest planet name we've got going, I think.

35:39Mark Fischbach:But it tripped the other planet and knocked it off the line. Like, we all know the one in the back is the one that tripped Pluto, right? It had to be Uranus that did it. Well, it's not in the back. Are you talking about Neptune?

35:48Ethan Nestor:The planet that is next? I forgot Neptune existed. You know what? Uranus is fine. That's a bad sign for Neptune, man. That is not a great sign for Neptune. Uranus, move. We're back up, baby. other than being a joke it's so boring it is just the blandest planet it is one color it's just there you know but at least it's not neptune is it high c tier or low b tier i feel like uranus deserves to be above mercury i agree i would agree but so like top of c tier yeah that's fair that's fair yeah uranus comes below the boob i gotta say these are some very interesting moon names titania well i got a titan too titania i like oberon i think oberon's a cool name oberon and umbriel are badass names those pair them up ariel first mermaid crush only mermaid crush probably yeah what was your second mermaid crush king neptune ariel in the sequel ursula which he's the hot version of mermaid ursula titania just feels

36:53Mark Fischbach:like it's trying to be titan it feels like it wants to be cooler than it is fucking f we give

36:58Ethan Nestor:that an f oh f wow first f i feel like oberon and umbriel get a get a bump up to c just for their name i don't know if they i don't know if they need to go higher because otherwise they're fine

37:09Mark Fischbach:did i had crushes on them or i listen miranda and mass effect and ariel little mermaid like hold them all let's see how horny do they make you that will rate how high that means they should go Oh man well S is too high Let's go think me think me with umbrella Below umbrella Oberon but on that line

37:27Ethan Nestor:Okay so you'd rather fuck Oberon Got it alright we're really working We're really banging out a bell curve here And I appreciate that this I think might be A contentious one Neptune Blue I like blue It's a beautiful color I love the look of Neptune I want a Bowling ball that looks like that That's about all I know about Neptune but otherwise Kind of fuck Neptune I don't know. It's fine. Like Wade said, it probably is the one who pushed Pluto, made them lose planet status. Neptune is the god of the ocean. Is that the Greek one or whatever? It's fine. It's very pretty. Oh, Neptune isn't as big as I thought it was.

38:06I see an Earth to Neptune comparison. And I mean, obviously Earth is much smaller, but it's about the same ratio as the Earth moon to Earth. It just inversed. So it's actually not that big.

38:17Ethan Nestor:No, it's smaller than you'd think way the fuck out there it's too far away it's a long drive nobody wants to go that far it has a spot apparently it's got it's got a spot that's kind of cool so like is it above mars i feel like to me it's either top of d tier or in the mix of c tier i like the maybe put it next to mars at the very top of d tier yeah i give it top of d at least like it just it earns that spot It's not a leftover wannabe has-been like Mars It looks better than Mars Mars doesn't look bad Red planet, kind of cool Neptune looks way cooler

38:59Mark Fischbach:Orcas are scary in the ocean So I don't know if Orcas is scary as a moon Yeah, wait, what's going on with Orcas? Orcas, Orcas whale Does it have its own little mini moon?

39:09Ethan Nestor:Oh, that's what that photo would imply A moon with its own moon? I googled Orcus moon moon and came up with Vance. Ah. Okay, Vance is the moon of Orcus. Orcus is a dwarf planet. So Orcus is not a moon of Neptune. Orcus is a dwarf planet. I mean, Orcus never even kind of got to be one of the planets. Often called the anti-Pluto. Well, Pluto's high on my list. It's just in opposite orbital phase from Pluto. So they just keep their distance. Oh, so people might have mistaken them for each other at some point. It was only discovered in 2004. Oh, it's like a third the size of Pluto. Why is this even in the running?

39:52Mark Fischbach:Well, if Pluto's high on my list and Orcus is not, then that means Orcus is pretty low.

39:56Ethan Nestor:I like the name. I like both Orcus and Vanth. I feel like those are cool names. I don't like the vibe. I feel like he wishes he was, but he's not. F or low D? given that i've only just heard of it i'd feel bad if it got put in f that feels mean i guess but all right so above mars oh okay

40:18Mark Fischbach:it's either f or above mars there's no way between

40:25i'm sensing that mark is a bit what's that from it's from the lighthouse when uh willem defoe goes, he's like, stands up, gives a, oh, Triton! Oh, curse this guy!

40:38Mark Fischbach:I like Willem Dafoe, so Triton must be pretty high up on the list then. That immediately gives me positive

40:43Ethan Nestor:feelings about Triton. I like some Willem Dafoe. Very B energy. I feel that. Right next to hexagonal Death Star titty.

40:52Mark Fischbach:Willem Dafoe, you did this, you rosed Triton. Series. No, no, don't, you know what, low D or F, because it made my phone go off.

41:04Mark Fischbach:that's really funny because it sounds like the phone lady um i don't know i've got nothing for it or against it it exists i mean default okay hold on sirs is not a moon sirs is a dwarf planet that's inside the asteroid belt you gotta be tough to live in there oh yeah that's that's not a good place to live almost as tough as miranda bottom of seat here all right okay no argument okay you You guys just gave me that.

41:31Ethan Nestor:You just said it so definitively. I believe you. All right. Now for the big one. Pluto. Pluto. We grew up knowing Pluto as the pizzas that my very educated mother just bought us nine of, but now it is nothing. Do we love Pluto because it's a fallen planet or do we hate Pluto because it lied to us for our entire lives?

41:54Mark Fischbach:How do we feel about Pluto? If Pluto is the yin to Orcus's yang, it has to be A tier. I think Pluto has so much going for it. It didn't ask to be labeled a planet. It was just there when planets were being labeled planets. It just made its orbit there. And it kind of was like, oh, oh, okay. I know objections here. Here's my big fucking moon. Look at my huge moon. You know, I think that, you know, you got to give it tons of pride and that heart. It has dealt with being last in line and then forgotten its whole life. And it's not complained once. Not once. A tier Pluto. Those other dwarf planets, they're not spherical.

42:38Pluto, beautiful sphere.

42:40Mark Fischbach:A tier Pluto. Saren! Rest of peace, Ozzie.

42:44Ethan Nestor:Does that big ass moon get to live with its tiny ass not planet? Or does it get the default moon treatment? It is impressive. It's like Mark had pointed out. It's Pluto really pulled a good one right now

42:56Mark Fischbach:It kind of looks like it has my hairline. It's kind of shaded on the back and sides Has a little fluff on top. I give way to be oh babe be for babe be for babe Alright, this is a whatever. This is is spicy

43:10Ethan Nestor:Trans-Neptunian object in the Kuiper belt likely a dwarf planet discovered in 2004 has one moon named Actaea, and it orbits the sun once every 274 years. Classified as a K-U-B-1-O, which is a K-U-B-1-O? A K-B-O? I don't know what that is. A Kmart big offer. Sure, sure, sure, sure. It's a trans-Neptunian object. What's Hwame - I don't care. Give it whatever. I don't know what any of these things are. I'm more interested in Hwamea. Whoa, Hwamea, what the fuck? You want to talk about fat ass you know saturn ain't got nothing on hua maya rapidly rotating egg-shaped dwarf planet in the kuiper belt beyond neptune what if that actually is an egg uh well that's a problem what if it's the egg of the next sun what came first the sun or the egg that's what i'm talking about that's what i'm talking about i that's i've never seen this before in my life i've never heard of this i didn't even know planets could be oblong like that i i wonder if it's in the process of ripping itself apart or something.

44:18Like, I don't know how it's holding together like that. That takes, that's, that's, this definitely earns B tier at least.

44:25Mark Fischbach:No parents are sitting on it to help it hatch either. It's abandoned. Yeah.

44:29Ethan Nestor:All right. I'm, I'm cool with B. That's it. That's an interesting thing. All right. We should probably speed this up. I mean, we don't have to go through all, there's a whole bunch of shit that we don't have to talk about on this list. I mostly wanted to get through the solar system, which we have done. I just want to say, what is Makemake? Oh, I've heard of this. Makemake dwarf planet. I mean, I assume it's probably like Makemake or something. Yeah, it's a Coober Belt dwarf planet.

44:55Mark Fischbach:In case you ever want to come back, I won't spoil it. Bob, you got some funny stuff on here.

44:59Ethan Nestor:No, I know. Yeah, I just borrowed this. So this is, you know, there's... Okay, there's two more I think we should look at, which is Planet 9 and Theia. Because those are interesting ones.

45:10Mark Fischbach:Whatever's happening on Theia looks crazy. Planet Nine is just a circle on this image. I don't know. So Theia is actually what they think is slammed into Earth, like primordial Earth, and exploded it to make the moon. And they think, they've looked at this recently in the geological conglomeration of surveys of the Earth. They think they see pieces of Theia embedded in the crust, or not the crust, the mantle of the Earth. they they think they can see evidence of this other thing that slammed in and had the pieces of it the are still in the planet interesting they is pretty cool i mean lost fought earth and lost but you know still may it made the moon earth is a tier and it put up a

46:01Ethan Nestor:good fight with earth because it did it did make the moon earth is still wielding the scars mark

46:06Mark Fischbach:just said that b high b high b i'll put a high b yeah i'm i'm gonna say above moons but below planets and b yeah it gets a lot of props for giving earth what it has right now it made a moon so it has to be above the moons i agree that's that's fair that's fair planet nine a

46:25Ethan Nestor:hypothetical massive planet believed to exist in the far outer solar system far beyond neptune proposed by astronomers mike brown and constantine bettegan its existence is suggested by the clustered eccentric orbits of distant transneptunian objects which didn't indicate a gravitational influence from a hidden large body potentially five to ten times the mass of earth taking 10 to 20 000 years to orbit the sun i can't i've heard about this before and i'm not at all like an astronomy nerd or anything so i don't i don't look into this stuff very deeply i could never tell if this is like a conspiracy theory that's only pushed by wackos who are like there's a secret planet and there's a civilization on it and they play they sheet at earth or if this is like a real thing because it seems to be scientifically backed and a theory that's

47:17Mark Fischbach:put forward by actual like astronomers i don't know i like seeing the orbit how its orbit goes completely different direction than everyone else's i also like the image where there's an actual question mark on it. That would be weird if we got like, oh, Voyager just so happened to do a flyby. What the fuck? The Riddlers. That's where the Riddlers from. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping Lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their Lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years.

47:56Think about it. But now 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first. 7up. Flip the sip.

48:08Mark Fischbach:Yeah, there you go. Why didn't I say the Riddler? I thought it got milk for some reason. Mmm. I mean, it's kind of cool. I like this. Kind of like a, you know, scary story you tell in the dark kind of thing. It's kind of fun.

48:22Ethan Nestor:I like stuff where science is like, well, this should exist. Doesn't make any fucking sense that there would be this huge planet so far away. But also, all the things we have, the gravitational readings we can get, they suggest that this should exist. So, I guess we're just going to say it's a thing. Maybe put it next to Uranus.

48:42Mark Fischbach:It's another mystery hole. I do like it better than Mercury. I don't think it's quite as cool as Haumea, because Haumea was just so weird we had more images of it. I think Planet Nine is just suffering from our lack of knowledge. That's cool. But if it is out there. Yeah it would go up The more we know the more it would go up Or it could go down if it turns out it's lame That's true That's a good tier list I feel like we did a good job

49:03Ethan Nestor:I think astronomers will agree for us for decades Ages even What kind of time measurements do astronomers favor? Light years That's time right? Light years And our only F tier is Titania Because it wishes it was Titan But it's not

49:19Mark Fischbach:You know why I'm having such bad luck today? Hamia's in retrograde But Triton is in

49:26Ethan Nestor:Hark I laughed You didn't even point at me and say that's funny You actually laughed which I appreciate That's going to be the end of the episode Let's go over who got points For which In no particular order Wade you got points for saying hi boys When I prompted you to Pokemon again I guess You got a jealousy point You got a point for Bonnie Tyler For still being bald for yo fun moon fun name you got a point for you're still showing the hexagon oh yeah that's and you got a point for got milk for some reason mark you got a point for saying hi boys you got a point for thocky for pandering you got a render farm destroyed point you got a wink wonk point b for bitch you got a point for moon when you were describing how the moon was made uh you You got a point for accurately selling us on how much Saturn fucks.

50:25Ethan Nestor:You got a point for Hark, Trident, and you got a point for the Riddler planet because we both said it at the exact same moment. And that's what smart people do. That makes the final score. Well, that's not the final score. The current score, 10 points for Mark and eight points for Wade. Oh, I'm still in the running. I thought I was getting destroyed. I'm still in the running.

50:45Mark Fischbach:You're still showing the hexagon really saved you because I still have the tab open.

50:49Ethan Nestor:I'm not gonna lie it's there I didn't really have a thing planned for what I want to add to the wheel I don't really want to do like a planet a tier list one I want to do one that takes away a point you know what minus one point for I'm gonna say either making fun of Mark for being short or making fun of Wade for being bald oh did someone have to do it or you don't have to do it I just feel like those come up a lot but it's like if you if you made a Marcus short joke or Wade is bald joke. Minus one point. If Wade makes bald jokes it still counts. No self-deprecating.

51:26Mark Fischbach:Oh, I self-defecate all the time.

51:28Ethan Nestor:You defecate all over yourself. Uh, anyway, uh, how many? That's the first thing we do. Woohoo! Eight, eight, eight, eight, two. Oh, just enough, just enough. So you're saying there's a chance. Two is not the number that I would have picked, tell you that.

51:43Mark Fischbach:You're not gonna do your little wee-woo? You're actually doing it?

51:45Ethan Nestor:Yeah, I'm gonna spin it for real so there's no cheating or anything. Most personal attacks. We were only attacking Mars there, so I guess that would be the personal. Yeah, well, we talked a lot of shit about Mars and Titania. I came for Mercury pretty hard. I was pretty straight out of the gate, you know. B is for bitch. That's true. Mark had the strongest personal attacks against some of the debated issues today. I feel like I have to agree with that.

52:17Mark Fischbach:I might have come at Mars the hardest, but Mark went for more planets harder.

52:21Ethan Nestor:All right, golf rules! Yeah, barring any terrible things happening, I'm not going to be spinning the winner's wheel today. Basically guaranteed the sudden death wedge would not possibly pop up again. Right? Okay. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You know, my Scottish Sweden accent. I don't think anyone used any accent. Is the Willem Dafoe reference an accent? It was more like a dramatic. I think that's a re-spin. I don't think there were really any serious accents. Good. The sudden death tile would never come up again. Ah. Does that count? I think that does count. I'll take it. Swept again. So if it landed on that and no one's made a joke and then it landed on minus one for the short joke.

53:12Okay. I'll take it.

53:14Ethan Nestor:The wheel loses one point. Yeah. If the wheel lands on shortest and then the wheel lands on lose a point for short jokes, I feel like the wheel loses the point. I say if the wheel has to lose a point, it has to spin and we have to remove one of the options. Oh, I like that. I'm sure we'll remember that when it comes up. Anyway, Mark remains undefeated in today's episode because he won on base points and then he won both the spins. It's true. Making the final score 12 to 8. you know what the only thing mark is going to be defeated by is that he doesn't get to make a

53:49Mark Fischbach:loser speech wade loser speech not gonna lie this episode started a little rough first my eyes were burning so i had to run take out my contacts then i removed a wire from under my desk then i squirted water everywhere then i proceeded to get trampled on at every possible stop along the way to getting crushed by four points but you know what i had fun our tier list ended up turning out pretty good i think. Therefore, I accept my place at the bottom of the podium. I think it's a great tier list.

54:18Ethan Nestor:I'm a fan. I only wish we could put Saturn higher. Wish we could put Mars lower. It could be lower. It's not even F tier yet. Anyway, Mark, winner speech. At first, I thought Wade was employing psychological warfare against me during my elite small talk, but then I remembered that's just Wade. So then the rest of the episode was just pure confidence all the way through. I knew that This was his, he rolled his dice for how his day was going to go today. And I knew he rolled a critical one from that point on. And I had it in the bag. So, yeah, thank you for allowing me to get this win, Hand of Fate.

54:54I rolled a four. Pretty low.

54:57Ethan Nestor:Congratulations to Mark, our glorious and brilliant and beautiful winner. And congratulations to Wade for having the privilege of losing to Mark. Make sure you check out their channels. mark plier lord meaning 777 meaning 777 i'm ice cream make sure you follow the podcast and then you'll always get a little beep boop on your phone when the thing comes out and you'll watch it or listen to it or whatever well you should watch it though and make sure you check out the merch and keep that bad boy up there because it sells out real fast every drop we've had sells out real fast if you actually want to get some you got to pay attention yeah maybe there'll be more someday distractible.shop is where you should look anyway that's the end of the episode Mark's going to host the next one when Wade will be there too.

55:38Ethan Nestor:See you on the next episode of Distractable. We're out of here. Podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.

55:52Ethan Nestor:Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu. and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweet Green app. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work?

56:19Mark Fischbach:It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.