Unhappy Birthday

22:48Mark Fischbach:Yeah, but I know how chance works. I've started by, dude, do you know what I've spent on Pokemon cards? Do you know how rare it is to get like a really good hit on Pokemon cards? I know the, I've learned the gambler's life, but I need to get out. Or you could become more addicted to it. What if we had rare coins. I think it might be one of those cases where the only way out is through. I have probably spent close to 9k on Pokemon cards. What's that, like six Pokemon cards? These days, yes. I have bought six cards. Well, it's gonna pay in dividends, right? It's gonna pay money back. I got scammed in one.

23:22Mark Fischbach:I got scammed once. You got Pokemon scammed? A box was verified, shipped to us, and I opened it up, and someone had, like, surgically taken the box and opened it and perfectly resealed it, but they opened all of the packs in like the most perfect like surgical way taking out the valuable cards they were filled with nothing but shit it was just like awful like valueless like here's your online card everyone throws away here's all these commons that no one wants and like all what was like 10 packs in the thing were all replaced with shitty cards i'd already gotten rid of the box because i was stupid and was like oh i'm just gonna go ahead and recycle it was cycling day so i got rid of the box so whenever i messaged him i was like hey i know i'm probably not gonna get a refund for this but at least don't buy from the seller.

24:05Mark Fischbach:They're like, do you have proof? I was like, well, no, but I'm not even asking for a refund. I'm just telling you like, this guy's going to scam. Well, we can't stop unless you have proof. They don't want to stop. You should CoffeeZilla them, bro. If only you had a platform where you could say their name. I don't know their name because it was like anonymous. It was through a third party site. I gave them the number of the, like on the box. I was like, okay, they'll probably track it. They'll know. And they know who they got it from, even though I don't know. So I was like, you can stop this. I can't.

24:32Not without the proof.

24:34Mark Fischbach:How do you know that the people you bought it from didn't do it? I don't put them on blast, but this was StockX. My initial instinct was whatever third party touched this might have totally been in on the situation. They seem like a pretty big site. So that'd be a weird one for them to put the neck on the line for, but someone in their employee could have done it. If StockX is one of those big websites that does a lot of those kinds of things, it's kind of like a more organized ebay or maybe less organized so really it's just like they do verification but there's always a chance someone doing the verification doesn't know so this was professionally done i guarantee you that thing was already tampered with when they got they looked at it was like seems good and then passed it along to you this is some oceans 11 pokemon card scam shit the way this was opened reseal like even whenever i was like i was looking at this the cards knowing i got scanned that i was like man this is so good am i scammed maybe this is just really bad luck Is this like the opposite of a god pack?

25:26Mark Fischbach:Did I get a turd pack? Like, is that possible? And then they were all turds. And it's like, well, that's probably unlikely. But it was professionally, I was professionally scammed. Yeah, that's why you should never buy anything like that. Not in person. Thank God I don't have more orders already purchased on the way. But I've not bought any since. Oops. Lesson learned almost in time. This is why I don't get hobbies. I don't dip my toe. I dive in and fucking, I'm like, I mean, that's, man, Pokemon card. I don't get it. I've never been a Pokemon fan, but it's like that whole thing where the value of them has exploded in the way that it is.

25:59I don't understand.

26:01Mark Fischbach:One of my first packs, I pulled a$340 card and then the addiction started and I couldn't get away from it. Right. I think I'm pretty with you, Mark. I like intellectually. I understand why those cards sell for the amounts they sell for, but I'm like a personal level. I just can't fathom why that's the case. And that's the world that we live in because I get that investments are very speculative and there's a whole world of investing and like you have shit like calchi and speculative markets and whatever but pokemon cards especially it's like it's kids can't we just let kids play with those like they're fun i would love for scalpers not to ruin everything they're great why can't can't we just let kids buy those packs for like three bucks at the at the store go home and open like oh i got a pikachu you know what i want to bring back beanie can we bring back beanie babies can we make beanie babies popular again mandy's mom saved her extensive collection of beanie babies and we've been dueling them out to james and some classics for my youth have resurfaced and it's still it's awesome he has the parrot uh and he has the frog yeah legs is it legs the frog yeah and the rainbow caterpillar which was one of my personal favorites as a kid i want to bring i want beanie babies to be popular again i don't think it's gonna happen but it could maybe we could do a lot of scams.

27:18We could buy a Beanie Baby theater. You guys want to open a card shop with me? We collectively could do a lot of damage in the world if we wanted to, right?

27:30Mark Fischbach:Chat, viewers, listeners, audience, the same guest, do you guys want us to... What scam do you want us to pull? We could turn evil and we could do so much. I'm bald. I'm halfway there. I've constantly tried to make episodes where it's like, how do we make money fast and get evil quick. And I'm like, man, that could be this episode. That is the end of my small talk. Yeah, I was a man. It was really hot. We built a box. Well, I was sick. I was sick on my birthday. My birthday. You mean Bob and Mandy's anniversary? You were sick on their anniversary? No, it's his birthday first. Chronologically, but like we're leveling importance.

28:10Don't do that. I just want to know if you guys have had any disappointing birthdays, because I got to tell you, I had everything planned. Everything was so good. It was so sad because like the people at cloak were planning me like a birthday surprise. Oh, no, I couldn't show up on Monday because I was sick. And then I didn't show up on Tuesday because I was still sick. And I showed up this morning and it was such an under like not for them. But it's like, clearly this had been sitting there a while. And let me tell you, it was like, they, I didn't tell them that I was showing up. So it was like, one of them was running like, oh, wait.

28:48And then they went into my office and they, they did something. They came back out and I'm like, oh yeah, I got to film this. And they're like, no, you, well, you, it was awkward. Like there, but go, go, yeah, go ahead. And I go in there with my phone. I'm like, all right, here I go. And I open the door and I see there's a GoPro on there filming me. I'm like, oh, ah, and I look around and it was it's decorations that were clearly put up over the weekend And there's bags of Takis like from the roof. It's very nice. It was very sweet There's faces of me half of her falling off The tape has been pulled one of the bags Soxies is like was on my desk just falled over the string flopped over the side and I looked around There's just balloons kind of like half I'm gonna go away.

29:32It's just... Post-apocalyptic birthday. It was lovely. It was really lovely, but it's like, man, oh man, what a, what a... And then, like, they bring out the cake, and they're like, happy birthday, and I'm, I'm masked up with you. I was just so I don't, you know, snot on anyone. I don't think of contagious business like a best of anyway. And then they're like, they bring out the thing, they light the candles, and then they hand me a plate and being like, don't blow on it. And I'm like, I wasn't gonna. They hand me a paper plate so I could wave it on the birthday candles. Yeah, so I did. And I got them all out.

30:07But it was really, really, you could tell that the energy wasn't there as much as it could be. Those decorations are designed to be up on the wall for like an hour tops. There are limits. And that's just really unfortunate timing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm painting a much worse picture than it was because I think it was only a couple things that were slightly down.

30:33Mark Fischbach:I'm picturing Leon going back to Raccoon City and seeing like, welcome Leon, all over the fucking ground. One of the employees is dead wearing a party hat and say, happy birthday, Markiplier. Dead? One of the employees is dead in a corner? When Mark's not around, who knows what happens. I just want to hear about disappointing birthdays. birthdays if you don't have any i'm sure you know someone that's had the worst birthday i have a worst birthday for not me but it was my birthday i don't know how old i was it was probably early high school probably like ninth or tenth grade friends and i went out to like we used to have like a neighborhood basketball court and pools we went out we played basketball swim in the pool a bit and we came back we hadn't eaten all day we were starving we had kfc i think because we had so many people we just did like a k like i was gonna do my my birthday dinner like my favorite meal a different day because it was a lot more in depth than just getting like food for a bunch of people so we had like KFC everyone's like alright it's your birthday you get yours first birthday boy and I had an unexpected sneeze while filling my plate and I sneezed all over the bucket of chicken everyone is starving they're standing behind me with their plates out and I sneeze all over the fucking chicken bucket and one of my friends just puts his plate down and sits down and you'd think like he just lost a family member dude i've never seen such disappointment in my life i'm calling this point kentucky sneeze chicken it was it's really funny in hindsight but everyone but me was so just like fuck like didn't even cover how old were you what was this ninth grade it was one of those like you don't even feel coming on it was just like i'm gonna but you like just just hit i've never had that yeah i've definitely had ones where i like barely got away or I dove out of the way into my shoulder.

32:21I've never just straight up been like right on to something like a huge plate of food for the whole party or something.

32:29Mark Fischbach:It was really good. It was good chicken for me. Yeah, did you eat it all? I ate a lot. No one else? I guess everyone else was too picky of an eater or something. It's really only on the top layer. You just gotta carve that down and get to the bottom pieces. Except you. You reached all the way down to the bottom for your piece. He's done my hand and reached at the bottom. It's like, here, you guys get the rest. That's the first one that comes to mind. Bob, any disappointing or underwhelming birthdays? Just going to be myself and be a jerk and say my birthday has never been a thing I was that into.

33:02Like nothing stands out as like horrendous birthdays. I had probably the biggest swing in birthdays between my 30th and 31st birthdays in terms of what was happening. You were at my 30th birthday both of you guys were It was very fun We did the go-karts I was not there I didn't make it for that one

33:24Mark Fischbach:I have a memory of you being there I think he drove up I think like Ryan and stuff I can't remember why we couldn't make it Yeah I remember Ryan and Johan Lots of people showed up Mandy put on a big thing for my 30th It was very fun I had a huge burn on my ass Because one of the go-karts I drove at that place the seat was broken and i was basically my butt was against the engine the whole time i was driving so i literally had a burn on the side of my ass cheek for like six months after that because it was really deep and really bad worth it didn't care it was awesome uh oh it was really bad birth it was it looked like it looked gross for a while like i was i went to the doctor they're kind of like what the fuck are you doing i was like look man am i gonna live or what he's like can't just cover that up god it's nasty but anyway so that was my 30th birthday was in october of 2019 and then my 31st birthday was in october of 2020 i don't remember the exact circumstances of why but i don't seem to recall hanging out with anybody or seeing any other human beings in person for what felt like months before and after that birthday.

34:40Just a real big swing from like my best birthday I've ever had on my 30th to October 2020 birthday.

34:47Mark Fischbach:But so it goes, you know, I think I had COVID on my birthday in 2020. I think Molly and I were flying back from Arizona and we barely got one of the last flights before they're kind of like shut everything down. I think when we got home, we were both like, I don't feel so good. we had like a bunch we had like a stack of those take-home covid tests and we both took one or whatever and we're like dude we almost got fucking stuck in santa fe at the start of copen and he had a work thing that where it was like she had to go to a conference or something and we were like oh it's we could go to santa fe we've never been there it's supposed to be really beautiful there's like uh you know there's the was it actually though it's it's cool santa fe is a very interesting place it's in like what's it's in the high desert technically or whatever it was cold because it was in the end of february of 2020 uh but we like did it and the it was nice and we we were friends with people that she worked with so like she did her work stuff but then we hung out with uh with her work colleagues after hours sort of and we had some good went out for some fun dinners it was very cool but it was literally like we flew home from that and then the next day the covet started if we if it had been a week later i think i don't know what would have happened but we've been fucking stranded in Santa Fe or something.

35:57I was just like not close to where we were living in the San Francisco area at that time. That time period feels like such a fever dream. You guys ever go back and watch Bo Burnham inside and be like, whoa. I've still never seen it at all. It's such a time capsule and for me it was such an accurate representation of the way COVID felt as it sort of went on. It's weird to go back and watch it now because it's like a it's like a flashback like it's like a weird trauma flashback thing uh but also it's

36:29Mark Fischbach:very funny i'll check it out some point i keep here i have heard a lot of the songs but no i've never seen it the songs are most of it if you've heard the songs like you've you kind of get the idea but this year i spent um my entire birthday driving back from atlanta and uh there was a really really bad accident on 75 down near atlanta georgia that caused this like a three-hour delay A bunch of people got like hurt Semis flipped over to think people died And we were stuck in that kind of traffic and stuff And that whole combination of things was like Happy birthday Sorry I'm not laughing at you just said like Crash car crash people died I just imagined you in there Surrounded by death in May I'm being like I didn't even know it's my birthday What the hell It was a terrible surprise How are these gonna crash cars On my birthday You drive by the ambulance yeah thanks asshole it's my birthday who caused this who caused this they just point to a body bag i flip it off it's really fucked up yeah why would you do that man god geez it's a crazy thought you know how some people say like we should be on a 13 month thing like it should be 13 months and they should be 28 days in a month because it would all line up or something like that yeah so that the calendar is more like even and yeah what would happen to the people whose birthdays got expunged oh fuck those guys wouldn't everyone's birthday be different october 18th would still be october 18th i mean it's whatever well what no wouldn't you technically shift because if you were born like january 1st the 28th you'd be the same no that's what i'm saying is you don't do that you don't do that oh those dates that are cut off are effectively deleted from reality those people might snap out of existence if we did that change but that's how it should be what if you pick your own new birthday in the new mystery month like there's a 13th month now and then you get to have a special birthday i'm assuming this change is 13 month calendar change is in in accompaniment with some sort of revelatory societal change you could call it your rebirth day right because you're being reborn into the new republic with 13 months and it's led by i don't know the high priest or whatever some whatever here's the worst birthday the day before your birthday the rebirth happens and you're like by the way your birthday is no longer tomorrow it's like but i had this not your birthday anymore i mean you could still pick tomorrow it would just be your re-birthday and you'd have to get it approved by the city council slash high priestess but like your birthday approved but you know here's the paperwork can i please have third of june's a bit busy sorry well i do feel like if we're gonna reassign a bunch of people you have to pick in the new month yeah what what is even the new month called i'm pretty sure it be called newberry so you go from like january 30th to third you wear 13th you wear eeds okay this is i look on wikipedia it says it's un-december not december un-december mine mine are way better newtober what's your birthday third of un-december or just like maine or maine's a state what?

39:33Mark Fischbach:Maine, you know, you can just call it Maine Maine? The 4th of Maine? I got four hours of sleep people who have birthdays on Maine 4th who live anywhere near 4th Street in oh, it's like May, that's why I thought okay, I feel a little bit better, I was like man, Maine really feels like a month you guys know I share a birthday with Eddie Murphy Marlon Brando, Alec Baldwin Kobe Smulders, they don't list me Whenever I looked up April 3rd birthdays, they don't list me. I share a birthday with Elon Musk. I dreamed of him. Or it was real. I guess I don't know anymore. Guys, I share a birthday with Abraham von Rebik, right?

40:13Rebik. Rebik. Rebik. He was the governor general of the Dutch East Indies from 1709 to 1713. So that's not great. Amanda Bynes? Jane Goodall? Wait, my fucking birthday is so strange. I share a birthday with someone named Kyler Emery, Elon Musk, me, Henry VIII of England, Mel Brooks, and it's just like, oh wait, what the fuck? Why is, anyway, why is Henry VIII the fourth most famous birthday for June 20th? Oh, Zac Efron. So on Mom Donnie's birthday is October 18th.

40:48Mark Fischbach:What a random thing. Is it bad that first, on famous birthdays, they list me as the second most famous birthday with the first name Wade? Wade's not even actually my first name. Alright okay So we're real in this episode a little bit Let's shift gears since we're running out of birthday things What other random bullshit can make me laugh I'm sick That was my other thought Tell me fun stories Look I had another birthday It wasn't mine but it was my fault So when Mandy and I got together I honestly don't remember the full context But we were looking at like stars in the sky Like we were just hanging out talking And we picked out Orion's belt in the sky I believe Mandy did and I didn't really know much I still don't really know too much about like constellations but she picked that out and we talked about it it was like oh that's Orion's belt and it became kind of a thing I'm like oh look Orion's belt which we still do on occasion and so for the first birthday that she had while we were together her birthday is on Christmas Eve December 24th I was like I know what I'll do this will be a great idea I'll get her a charm bracelet and I'll get three star charms and it'll be like Orion's belt and that's really cute because that's a thing we do great this will be a great new boyfriend birthday present and i gave it to her and she was very polite about it but her reaction was clearly kind of like oh cool and like i wasn't too torn up because i'm not a very good gift giver but i'm aware of that so yeah maybe it's not as good as i thought but we talked about it and i was like you didn't seem to like your thing like i can exchange it like i'm not if you there's a better present i'd rather get you something you like oh no it's nice um i just already have like three of these i was like that's weird not for me she's like oh yeah like several other guys i dated before we got together we sort of did the orion's belt thing and they thought it would be a cute idea so i like i have a i have a bunch of these already she opens a drawer there's just like falling out bracelets i was like oh that makes sense why you would kind of have a weird reaction to that that's a lot that makes a lot of sense in the she was very nice about it obviously things panned out but uh that was i don't even think she was that upset but that was really awkward because she had to be like oh you know all those other guys i dated they had the exact same idea and i'm pretty sure some of theirs were way nicer than when you got me so i just love that you all have the same through thread of yeah the thing we do is we look for orion's belt just like with chad and tom and michael never occurred to me that she was setting that up with it was like a test with every guy that she was with look orion's belt like see what see how he reacts when you point out orion's belt uh they all did it wrong yeah yours was the best belt she got me a gift that i still wear and use which was i don't have it on right now actually but it's a ring that i still wear frequently and have worn like since you give it to me and it's very nice and i got her a thing that i'm pretty sure she threw away at some point in the next three months because she already had one and she probably couldn't tell the difference and was like oh i should keep the one from bob i'll keep this one takes the drawer dumps into a bag one of these and that's by the one some goodwill somewhere in cincinnati has like 19 charm bracelets with three stars on them it worked out it's fine so i got you a point for that uh anything else you guys got what's going on man what's going on in the world no not like that no no oh okay i was like what's wrong my ugly yeah wait what the fuck is going on with you man a lot man i don't know if you've looked at the scoreboard lately but come on look this is not going to be freshly topical by the time this episode comes out but it's still happening the world cup has been happening us is playing as we speak i think can i just say how like delightful it's been to see a bunch of people from other countries around the world coming to the u.s and fully expecting it to be some like shithole hellscape filled with assholes that they just wanted to leave i mean like they all have like everyone has these expectations that are formed just like we do right of other countries that are formed largely by like the news and movies and tv like media that you watch and none of that is good at creating an accurate idea of what another place is going to be and i feel like Like there's been there's been people bitching about stuff and like whatever.

45:09But there's been a rush of people who are just like, oh, my God, you guys, America is fucking great. Every American I meet is like the nicest person I've ever met. This place is dope. I love McDonald. And like there's just this fresh discourse online of people of people, not non-Americans having that reaction to be like, I thought this place fucking sucked. This is great. I get why you all like it so much. And then all the Americans are like, dude, we've been telling you it's where the government and then the people are separate things, which ironically is the opposite of how it's supposed to be.

45:45But that's not what we're talking about right now.

45:47Mark Fischbach:Did you see the stories of all the people trying to take a ranch dressing and stuff home? Yeah, it's just been very like heartwarming. And that's so fun because I've not that long ago. We I think I brought up the discourse around whatever like, oh, British people think America It's not hot in America and blah, blah, and all this stuff. Like, I'm clearly, I'm a sucker for it. Same as everyone else. I'm not above fighting with other countries and having beef for no reason. But, like, when we actually hang out with each other, it's chill. We're chill. You're chill. It's cool. You should come over more.

46:20We should come hang out with you guys. It's cool, man. I've loved seeing all the videos. Because every once in a while, you'll get that video of, like, there's a British guy who came over to America for work or something. He's like, what the hell? oh, it's amazing. Texas barbecue is unbelievable. And it's like, yeah, yeah, it is. But I can't believe how botched the World Cup has been so far in America. And for that opinion to still... Yeah. It's been okay. The games have been going on. Look, man, we call it soccer. There was a fundamental risk taken, I think, by FIFA letting it happen in a place that where we we don't call it what a lot of the world calls it but our football is the game where

47:04Mark Fischbach:we're trying to eliminate the part where your foot touches the ball but we have good stadiums and good food and nice like it's been it's been lovely it's been funny too to see that how many people have that experience of uh the stereotype where they're like oh well we were staying in new york and we were like let's just take a day trip down to disney or something and then they look at the maps and like oh fuck how many days drive is that what the shit i i want to see like videos of people if if they've come to the conclusion like oh this is why you don't have high speed rail everywhere and it's like we could if we really put effort into we we could but it's a huge it's a huge fucking effort to make it happen and it'll happen eventually but way too late and you know but yeah the comments of like people i think there was someone like in alabama like a small town in alabama they were just like this place is crazy i went to this diner and the food was fantastic and the people were so nice and stuff like yeah that has been really awesome to see plus it's been really fucking hot i know there's a heat wave happening in europe right now which is like a uncharacteristic dangerous heat wave but it's been hot enough here too that everyone's kind of like all right everybody knows what hot is like whatever let's stop that's a stupid thing to fight about okay it's hot here it's not there it's hot everywhere this fucking sucks turns out the real problem is climate change let's all talk about that now yeah i hate to tell you this guys it was 58 this morning here what i thought you were gonna be like climate change is false boys By the time I woke up today here, it was fucking like 90 degrees already.

48:29And I'm humid. We had like heat advisories going on. It is still mid 80s and feels like 90 here at 10 p.m. It's supposed to be hot out in Los Angeles. Yeah, no. See, the whole thing about climate change is climates change all over the place. They're all doing different things. We have, however, apparently super El Ninos on the way. Yeah, well, what's it? We talked about it before on the show. There's a possibility of a derecho, which I think I said incorrectly last time. Derrico? Derrico? Is that some crazy shit happening? Yeah, it's like Super El Nino. What is a Super El Nino? It's something where this band of warm water, it usually stays more towards the Asian side of the Pacific.

49:17it can technically form and push almost everything towards the American side of the Pacific and then just create. That's why in L.A. there's this legend of this 50 year flood where all the rivers in L.A., all the canals can overflow and it'll just be torrential flooding across the land. Might happen? Oh, fun.

49:45Mark Fischbach:At least you guys would have a surplus of non-drinkable salt water Everyone complains when there's fires all over So we were like, what's the opposite of fire? They must love that I can tell you, fire's weak to water in Pokemon Yeah, well, that's great I'm sure nothing bad will happen Did he freeze frame himself? I did, I did Oh, that was really good Thank you, thank you You didn't fucking move a single hair on your eyebrow This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects.

50:26And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro Plans.

50:50Anyway, Super El Nino could happen, weather's, uh, weather's funny, yeah. Funny boohoo, not funny ha-ha. The term Mega Nino.

50:58Mark Fischbach:Super secret rare Nino? Mega Nino. May have contributed to the end Permian extinction, so, you know. Called the Great Dying. We're gonna have the Great Dying 2? Electric Boogaloo? Oh, so many sequels aren't as good as the first. Dude, even the weather's reaching back for sequels now. What the fuck? I'm sure there's plenty of people that know more about the weather than I do. In fact, you know, I think even Amy knows much more about it, so everything I'm saying probably isn't. Even if only some of it's wrong, you're going to get roasted in the Reddit. We know that for sure. That's how it goes. All right, any other funny things besides our impending doom?

51:33No, that's about as funny as it gets, I think. I have a bounty to claim. He's got a bounty. I have a bounty. I did a bounty. I gotta do one of these now you guys make me look bad I this is possibly one of the first Ones that we talked about when this notion Came up I have a I was At Wawa and a fan Came up to me I asked multiple Times and they're like yeah yeah put in the episode that's Totally fine they came up to me and we talked And I was like hey do you have a coin And they got a penny oh and his Heads and I called heads I called heads it was heads I won the coin flip I didn't think you had that in you first try No cheating you can go to that Wawa and confirm with that person if you need to But I believe that is my first bounty on the board.

52:19I feel like that's also The the coin flip part of it is worth more than just a bounty if I'm not mistaken Honestly in the moment I couldn't remember 100 % how it was I was like I'm just gonna call it And if I win I'm hoping that is the correct thing to have done Oh, also, I didn't say it. The fan's name was Rexy. Thank you so much, Rexy, for literally going to the cash register and getting a penny so that we could have a coin because I, like an idiot, didn't have one on me.

52:48Mark Fischbach:Rexy robbed Wawa for your bounty? That's crazy. Rexy committed a misdemeanor for me. I better get extra bounty points. I think that's a three-point thing. I'm pretty sure it's a higher point thing than it's normal. So I'm going to say plus three. there might be even more for that um i can't remember if you guys are going to put in the effort you can take your points for your bounties also we have to spend the official budget for the the subreddit at some point i saw one that i think we can agree on that would be a good first one to dip our toes into it just came up on this month's post but people were like they need a trophy and i have talked about previously that i was i wanted to get a trophy but i never fall through on anything oh thank god me too either both that would be a good use of budget i feel like is to get like a winner's trophy and then i guess we'd have to award it to mark because he is the current reigning champion and we just started this new season i never got one for winning the very first season and you still won't i mean maybe i i look i'm not a poet we could talk about it but i was imagining it's one where it's like the trophy you're you get a little it's like the stanley cup when you win your season you get your name engraved on it and then you own it for that next year, the whole thing.

54:01But the Reddit has to vote and democracy, some stuff or something. We will call that the episode there, and once again, the bounty slash coin flip has devastated the point balance. Yes. We had Bob with half a styro point. There's the sound effect. A point for not being under a rock. A very small cow pie. A man point. Rug pull coin. Aspern parentheses bad. Rebirth fetish i wish i'm not sure if that's a thing i can't remember what was in the most recent uh dungeon crawler carl but there was a mention of an either rebirth or unbirth because of the kangaroo bit oh yeah yeah stuck in my mind since that dude that made me not want to get into a kangaroo's pouch i already didn't want to do that i i wasn't on that wasn't an issue for me i don't know what matt diniman's up to on a day-to-day basis and you know a lot of authors like put content in their or work just like barely the author's barely disguised fetish.

55:03And I'm like, real quick,

55:05Mark Fischbach:real quick. You're kind of the point, Matt. I know you're watching this right now. What the fuck did the Bengals do to you, man? Jack, that's the Bengals character. We get the guy who pisses in the hall. That's the most accurate Bengals fan representation in any media I've ever seen. Not a single other person wearing like sports merchandise. I'm pretty sure it's been mentioned ever, but they were like, yeah, this fucking asshole Jack and his Bengals hat likes to piss on him. walls because he loved the bangles all right and then wade you had uh markiplier con styro survival there's sound effect uh plus one okay point uh you have a contingency point for surgery that's not yours yet if you injure yourself enough that you need surgery right now i think it's fair that you get that point i think i already did you have kentucky sneeze chicken you have atlanta birthday ruined and then the month of Maine.

55:58So with that you only have seven points one contingency. But I think you also have another shadow point that's owed to you for something in the future. Those are going to roll forward. I'm sure that won't cost me any problems. That'll be fine. Alright seven to twelve and a half points is the score with plus three for Bob's coin flip with a fan going into the final wheel spin. It does not look good for Wade. There it is. I was trying to get it up, trying to time it nice for you. At our age, it's hard. You're telling me. Oh, did you mean penis? Mm-hmm. I certainly didn't. All you need is one, baby.

56:35Two is good, too. Two is good, too. Alright. The... Not that one, not that one. Alright, let's spin it! No, no, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I want to add recite the alphabet backwards. Closest wins. A point. Oh, I could do it right now. You don't have to be perfect, but you have to be fastest, but also most accurate. And then if both of you get it perfect or the same number of mistakes, it would be whoever completed faster. We'll remember all that. Two spin, baby. Come on. Daddy needs a new pair of sneakers.

57:11Mark Fischbach:Oh, damn it. I should have been meaner. I don't feel like I launched any personal attacks. You gave me a couple of ribs, but nothing crazy. I did. I did. I feel like this one is This one's kind of a weak one Like we could award it But also I feel like a re-spin is not unfair In this situation I don't feel strongly There wasn't a lot of animosity this episode This is a very amicable episode Yeah let's re-spin it It's too late for coins right? It's definitely too late now that a spin is happening Hey! There it is Oh wait did he say He said I wouldn't Bob's words were I don't think a re-spin would be unfair Okay alright I guess we have to flip for that.

57:51No that counts. So you didn't oh fuck you don't think a respin would be unfair so a respin would be fair and no respin would be unfair So if it's all heads we we do an extra respin and if it's all tails We don't respin because that would be making yeah if it if it's all if it's okay Wait a respin would be fair which means you want to respin so we would double the fairness if we get all heads right and then we would fix the un we would make it unfair if we get all tails so we would double the spin or we would do no spin why is this so confusing i think it i think it's the opposite if it's heads we do the respin because that would make it fair if it gets all tails we will not spin anymore for the rest of this we will remove all spins i'm too tired

58:42Mark Fischbach:to think it through but that sounds right to me look you're you're the host man if it was tails It would it would be what he's Opposite against would be would be have to be made doubly fair But the opposite but the heads just to make what you said fair Which would be to spin I guess even though we were already going to do that What is doubly fair of let's go double both ways. We're gonna do double both ways We'll add an extra spin if it's all heads. We'll do absolutely no more wheel if it's tails, okay Tails for me, I think I got the lady, I got heads Oh, okay, I'm tails as well I thought we were gonna Alright, we're still spinning it So this counts, bald Don't call it a comeback Don't call it a backcum either Oh, I always want to call it a backcum Anyway, spin number two of two People still go in my chats Like, cum amateurs Had the best time I had the time of my life And I owe it all to you He's claiming the best time, do you want to give it to him?

59:44I can't disagree. He seemed like he was having a really good time. All right, that's another point away. It doesn't even matter. That's only nine points. So unfortunately, even though he won both spins, congratulations, Bob. I did it. The bounty really secured it for me. It really did. It really did. But even without the bounty, I think you still would have won. Because I would have won by half a point with no bounty, but I won by three and a half with it. Is that how that works out? True, yes. That is how this went down. So congratulations, Bob. Give your winner's speech. Oh, yes. Oh, it feels like it's been a long time since I've won, but that's probably not true.

1:00:18I'm accustomed to doing so many of these when we were doing two a week that now it feels like they have all these spaces in between our recordings. Anyway, it feels good to win, and it feels really good to get my first bounty under my belt. I'm excited to do some of the more complicated ones. There are ones that involve sending things to you guys or appearing at your houses, potentially, that I'm really interested in. keep adding shit to the bounty board because even if you think it's a weird idea only one of us needs to like it for it to happen and there are definitely some on there that I think I look at and I'm like ooh and I know you guys are not going to want to do I like the bounties I want to do so many bounties I want an episode where the only points are bounty points and I win because I did so many bounties alright that is entirely possible we can make that happen we can make anything happen Wade can you make anything happen?

1:01:06I could alright short and sweet Uh, just like me We don't have to hash this out I just had this thought We didn't make any rules about whether the host could do bounties, did we? We didn't, technically speaking So there's an avenue where a host could technically hijack a series of episodes By completing a lot of bounties And just winning the episodes And continuously being the host Host has a lot of power, yeah That loophole might exist We might have created that And I don't know if there's anything we could do about it I mean, technically speaking, yeah That I don't think there's any rule against it.

1:01:40Just brainstorming right now. But we shouldn't do that. It would have to be brought up in the next Constitution or the emergency boat episode. Biennial. Biennial boat. Anyway, thank you all so much for watching and or listening this episode. I am feeling better finally, so I am healthy once again. I hope you all are feeling healthy out there. If you're not, I hope you rest up and get your health back in order. And you can always look forward to another episode of this. We're getting back into the swing of things, but you know, we're not getting back into the swing of things. We have been in the swing of things.

1:02:10We're swingers. We're swinging, baby. Be sure to follow these guys. Be sure to follow the podcast and look forward to the next episode coming at you at a very predictable time. Have a good day. Podcast out.

1:02:26This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.

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