In short
Distractable’s “Wade’s/Bob’s/Mandy’s Word Game (Featuring Markiplier)” plus tech/small talk. The episode includes sponsor reads, discussion of moving, streaming audio gear (GoXLR vs newer mixers), monitor issues (Mark’s bad Asus OLED “initialization”/power cycling), airline/Delta jokes, and a long Hotter/Colder word chain game where Wade feeds Mark and Bob successive words.
Guests
Markiplier (Mark) is a YouTuber/streamer; Bob is a co-host (Wade’s friend/regular). Wade and Bob are the main hosts; Mandy is referenced in the game title but not a separate on-mic guest in this transcript.
Key claims
“Lemonati” lemon propaganda vs 7up lime-lemon soda; walking is good for longevity (Japan); moving gets worse as you accumulate gear; modern audio/streaming hardware is less featureful than GoXLR-era devices; Asus OLEDs can be unreliable.
Notable examples
David Byrne concert talk; Callisto Protocol graphics vs actor reference comparisons; the Hotter/Colder chains (scalpel→doctor→hospital→…→fish/shark; and later “lens”/“couch”/“vacation”/“TV” sequences).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Lemonati Conspiracy
0:00 to 0:45
Explore the whimsical idea of the Lemonati and its effects on society.
“For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows.”
The Lemonati Conspiracy
1:44 to 2:00
Explore the whimsical idea of the Lemonati and its effects on society.
“Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data.”
Casual Banter and Updates
2:46 to 4:00
The hosts engage in light-hearted banter about their lives and setups.
“Not much has really changed, it's the last time we did this, has it?”
Moving Experiences
4:00 to 5:48
Discussion about the challenges and experiences of moving homes.
“Oh, speaking of listener, you guys must have seen the uproar.”
Tech Troubles and Monitor Talk
5:48 to 7:20
The hosts share frustrations and experiences with their monitors and tech setup.
“I mean, I'm not a witch, so I don't know.”
Nostalgia and the Evolution of Tech
7:20 to 14:00
Reflections on how technology has changed and the nostalgia for past setups.
“And I think it was probably like my phone or something.”
Tech Frustrations in Streaming
14:00 to 18:22
The hosts discuss their frustrations with mixing equipment and tech for streaming.
“It's, you know, blows my mind is like there was, there was an era when all of us had these mixers where we could do voice changers and we could have sound effects ready.”
Concert Experiences and Walking
19:56 to 21:45
The hosts share their experiences of attending a concert and discuss the benefits of walking.
“He, he hasn't toured in a long time and he, he's got a new one.”
Wade's Bob's Mandy's Word Game Setup
21:45 to 25:50
The hosts introduce and explain the rules for the word game they'll play together.
“For a listener, Mark was just sitting still and a thumbs up bubble popped up next to his face for no fucking reason.”
Playing Wade's Bob's Mandy's Word Game
25:50 to 28:01
The hosts engage in a lively game of 'hot or cold' with various words.
“And Mark and I have won the other two-thirds.”
Show all 20 chapters
Word Game Chaos
28:01 to 34:26
The group engages in a hilarious word-guessing game filled with miscommunications and laughter.
“There you go, Mark I sent you your word Wait, wait Did you send that to me in the chat that all of us could see?”
Guessing Game Continues
41:49 to 42:00
The game continues with more guesses and funny interactions, showcasing the group's dynamics.
“I almost said warmer, but in reality, that's colder.”
Guessing Game Fun
42:00 to 43:06
The hosts engage in a playful guessing game, exchanging warmer and colder clues.
“A theater, like a stage theater, not like a movie theater.”
Small Talk Points System
43:06 to 44:17
Discussion on the points system for small talk and scoring during the game.
“It's why some cushions get the little indents.”
Wheel of Points and Scoring
44:17 to 45:21
The hosts decide how to add points to their scoring wheel and discuss its rules.
Debating the Host's Power
45:21 to 46:16
A debate about whether the host can actually veto points and handshake deals.
Determining the Winner
46:16 to 47:23
The hosts discuss the fairness of ties and how to resolve the game's outcome.
Coin of Fairness Revelation
47:23 to 48:36
Wade reveals he has a 'coin of fairness' to help resolve the tie in the game.
“I mean, you have to decide, I guess, because you're the host.”
Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts
48:36 to 50:21
The hosts wrap up the episode and share their final thoughts on the game.
Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts
51:34 to 52:08
The hosts wrap up the episode and share their final thoughts on the game.
“Fall has never looked or tasted this good.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00For decades, a shadowy organization called the Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon forward sodas, even lemon forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them and squeezed out the truth.
0:19That's lemon propaganda right there. But now 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Join the 7up rising. Flip the sip. Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app.
0:51This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom-scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. This episode of Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay, how do you guys know when someone's really your friend?
1:26I don't know. I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G home internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit T-Mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network. Speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions details. at T-Mobile.com slash home internet.
1:59Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Walking Wade slaughters his screens, plays sounds, then retreads a wonderful format. Button-bashing Bob mashes Mrs. Rabbit, roasts relocation, and shows off his multiple desk blades. Mark assaults Asus and his bald buddy, Glazes Delta Nippon Then brutally stumps Bob From rolling stones To killing couches Yes It's time for Wade's Bob's Mandy's Word Game Featuring Markiplier Now sit back And prepare to be distracted And enjoy The show
2:53Mark Fischbach:Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable I'm today's host, because apparently I won the last one, which I definitely remember doing Because I've got a great memory And I'm joined as always by my friends whose names I remember and I definitely don't have written down Mark and Bob How's it going boys? Not much has really changed, it's the last time we did this, has it? You guys look like you're in your normal locations Everything looks absolutely normal Yeah, yeah, yeah Why are you still the same, Mr. Gathersmoths? Because I'm busy gathering moths. They ate my hair, now they're eating my life.
3:27Mark Fischbach:Moths? Or, I think Mark meant moss. It's what I intended. I can't read, so I didn't know what he said. I shape every letter with my lips. You better read them. Bob, you like fill out your camera. I feel so short next to you. Yeah, something is different. I thought I said it back up the same. I'm in a new room. for anyone who's a listener. This is different. It's still kind of purple, but it's... I thought I said it up the same. Something looks different. I feel like my forehead looks bigger. Something's different about this framing. I don't know what it is. It's fine. You look good. Oh, speaking of listener, you guys must have seen the uproar.
4:04I saw most of them say, wow, Wade, way to represent us. I feel like there's a whiplash or two that you missed in that summary of yours. Much like the we will burn Wade alive. For daring to steal our win. I remember a lot of that. A lot of that. And then the next episode came out that you hosted. It was like, Wade represented us so good. A genius of hosts. None will compare.
4:30Mark Fischbach:Thankfully, they only burned me from the waist down. So the top half was able to represent. Good thing I keep my penis up high. I did not. But now it's deep fried and delicious. I'm trying to shrink in my camera for you, man. Is this helping? Somehow that makes me look even bigger. It's because my head's getting smaller. but my gut is getting bigger. I should be like back here. Man, this looks great. Yeah, you should be farther back. Yeah, you do look good. Wait. It really slims you down. I'll just stand. No. That's a lot of nips. That's a lot of nips. It's a lot of gray stripes. You guys got me on a Friday night.
5:04Nips out. I felt like I just lost a Five Nights at Freddy's game and it was just... Do they show nips on Freddy's when you lose them? No, it was like the static. It's the static. When your nips point at me, I hear that scream sound that happens when you get killed and Five Nights at Freddy
5:20Mark Fischbach:I'm glad we did not try to impersonate Five Nights at Freddy's screams I'm glad we didn't do that There's no evidence that that occurred I'm still sad about all the other things We tried to impersonate But glad we didn't do that one Apparently we were the only one sad about it Everyone else seemed to enjoy our great impressions Well I'm glad that they didn't think We should be good at anything Everyone out there watching this is a Friday night that we're recording this It's unusual for us I'm not used to doing this at night with you all, much less Friday night, specifically Friday night, the witching night.
5:51Mark Fischbach:The witching night. Is that a thing? I mean, I'm not a witch, so I don't know. What a witch would say. I feel like a witch would say, I am a witch. Yeah, most witches these days, I feel are pretty open about their witchery. We don't burn them anymore. It's cool. Oh, just me for beating the pants off the listeners. So, Brad, did you just hear that? Did you hear what he said? He's always doing that. He's always doing that And you let him get away with it every time Listen I slap my chat I slap my community around and they come back They're like yes please more bald daddy And I'm like alright here's one What's that meme?
6:29The Jesse Pinkman meme You can't keep getting away With us But I do and they love me for it Till you don't I was telling you this before we were recording I have a new monitor you guys are You guys look so much better than you used to look now I don't think that's true for me I'm pretty sure for me in my low compression, uh, undisclosed location with some filter.
6:52Mark Fischbach:No, you look better than ever before. I mean, it's still, it still looks better because I literally jumped from a 1080p LCD screen that was seven years old to a modern Samsung OLED, beautiful 1440 display. It looks so good. I forgot video games are supposed to look good and videos could look beautiful. I gotta shout out negatively to Asus for making the most dog shit OLED display I've ever known in my life. I have had one OLED display in my past. And I think it was probably like my phone or something. And that's the only OLED I've ever had. And I was like, I should treat myself, you know, working on movies.
7:34I'm big, big businessman. Yeah, I got to be real professional. So I buy this one. It was on sale. Not cheap, mind you. OLEDs are not cheap. and this piece of shit once now up to twice a day will just turn off it'll give me a message saying it's turning off it'll be like screen will be off for initialization and i'm like what the fuck does that mean you're i've been using you for weeks maybe you should initialize it then maybe it'll stop trying to do that maybe this is a user error i i swear i probably just some people just went oh oh god i know that because it's a common thing if you look it up on this uh asus i'm bullshit oled you look up asus bullshit oled initialization and you're gonna find this oled display um and the shitty thing is the display is good like it looks good right everything else is terrible because to get it back on you can't just hit the power button you have to physically unplug it then re-plug it back in for it to decide to work and usually i'm
8:39Mark Fischbach:you're preaching to the choir because you're talking to the guy who hasn't had a third monitor like 1600 monitors i've had two for the last six months because windows updated and i had to update a graphics card and all of a sudden that monitor it's it's done i'm not gonna downplay how much money you spend on those monitors and how painfully stupid it is that this is an issue that you're running into they do sell other monitors i just want to throw that out like like on some level this is the car situation all over again because i i acknowledge that it's that's an expensive amount you could sell that monitor give it to a friend or somewhere like i don't know if molly needs another monitor they are covered in so much saliva at this point that only someone weird from our community would want them there's gotta be a third monitor out there for your specific needs like when we first started drunk minecraft mark helped me get like my first monitor that lasted me till i think like 2016 and then i upgraded and i was like ah look at these monitors i've got three monitors and those lasted me until i've got these i've only bought monitors by myself twice and the first time went great lasted me a long time and then i was like you know what i'm gonna buy three just top of the line monitors last me another 10 years it'll be worth it apparently that's not how things work now three 4k monitors and i used to think that he was just tech illiterate no he's right shit sucks now yeah wait what was that first part shit so he's right i thought he was just a dumb piece of shit dumbass do know nothing about tech backwards thinking bald-headed and asked dumbass but he's actually pretty smart you know unrelated you just reminded me i need to keep track of points that's what crazy you're welcome i'll take them thank you mark you you just earned so many points i know because it's all about the delta right you got to get the delta you know the difference the delta difference i'm a diamond delta member have i mentioned that i fly united i'm gold at this point i think i think i'm gold medallion gold i think the only airline that still services cincinnati is delta so i don't really have a choice delta and southwest and all those other ones that are kind of sketchy seeming to me that i'm sure they're fine but you could fly in the overhead bins in frontier i flew frontier once and I was like can I get some water and they're like that'll be the cost of a normal Delta ticket I was like never mind I think I'm good okay let's be honest Delta tickets they're expensive but oh man there was a TikTok about this is like different airlines and I was like oh no they're gonna roast my airline but they made Delta like the extremely seductive one it's like you're so right you're so right you're so fucking expensive but god you're right Delta's like the Jessica rabbit but like in order to talk to her you have to spend at least five thousand but you're just going like this like the real jessica rabbit well no she was loyal to her husband she couldn't be bought i don't know maybe i don't know the deep lore of jessica rabbit is she married i don't know anything about jessica rabbit married yes yes she's married wait you didn't know that i don't know anything about jessica rabbit other than who framed roger rabbit i thought that was her brother just because they have the same last name doesn't mean they're married come on now you're right i'm trying really hard not to complain about moving because it's not interesting but moving is not fun and uh that's all i have to say i think everyone agrees is if this if you're out there on the subreddit or wherever on the youtube comments wherever you are if you like moving leave a comment so we can all ridicule you ridicule you for being a fucking insane person because nobody likes it.
12:20Guaranteed. Okay, there was a time in my life where I actually did like moving. Boo! Hold on, hold on. You giving yourself a point for booing? What are you, wait, hold on. I'm about to write. I'm about to write. I was just like, boo! That was funny. Two points for me. If I took a picture of every place I had moved solo in my time in LA, you know the subreddit male living spaces yeah yeah it was like that my but my recording desk was like this glowing obelisk in the corner and then my ramshackle bullshit clothes and and furniture was off the side i don't know what it was but i was enamored with this idea of like oh a fresh start this will be perfect i just dumped all my old furniture into that storage unit that doesn't exist in my mind gone forever never have to worry about that again and i'll just start over ikea this and that i love going to that first target run where you get like your air freshener and it's like this is gonna be different here's my dish soap i'm gonna use and you keep that same bottle for the whole two years you live there you're moving out with a 95 percent full bottle of dish soap you bought on your first day like man i really thought i was use it this time into the dumpster down the chute clang bang maybe it'll clean the trash on the way down you're welcome no no you know what when i didn't have shit when my only belongings that i really cared about were like my tv and my xbox and maybe my computer even though mostly i had shit computers until well until you bought me one when we were doing drug minecraft pretty much Well, yeah, moving was okay Because I never expected to have anything And it was always like, let me bring these three things over to the new house And then I guess if I can find a bed or something Like, fuck, whatever, who cares But the more you have stuff Like my whole, this setup Where we do, where we work God, I'm so fucking sick of tearing this thing down I don't, because I'm like I have all my stuff that works I don't want new things I want my things It's taking me so long to find all the specific little pieces of tech where I'm like, this works well enough.
14:37I'll just live with it. It's, you know, blows my mind is like there was, there was an era when all of us had these mixers where we could do voice changers and we could have sound effects ready. Like the GoXLR era was great. And then it was replaced with dog shit, absolute terrible things that just didn't work right out of the box. I literally am one bad like audio day away from just setting the GoXLR back up. You have to jank it together To get to cause I do two PC setup And you have to like patch things in And out and blah I don't even care It is still the most Feature rich the most useful Yeah I guess I could do that Fucking alien Remember the auto tune sneeze The auto tune sneeze you can't do that anymore You know this is making me second guess That was the Logitech headset had buttons on the side that had filters and that was hey hey guys it's me oh wait no the the auto-tune sneeze was that later was that go xlr am i lying that was go xlr yeah i might be lying i think it was and now everything's just i mean this is a beacon and i think it's fine but also i it like it it's very nice to be able to portable it but i why can't it do anything fun exactly right why can't i have buttons right here it does all the processing you know button i want play it like a flute yeah it's like an instrument you could have like you could have buttons on the on the shaft you have buttons on the rump what if you had a cable what the usb cable what if it had you know how they used to have controls for like your your audio on the cable of your headphones where you could like turn the volume you just had a string of buttons on the cable to the thing and you're like this is my this voice this is my mute button this is where are all the buttons i don't No, man.
16:29I feel like tech has just taken a turn of such streamlining that things are, they don't have other features. They don't put them in.
16:37Mark Fischbach:You don't need all the buttons whenever every video is only six seconds long, though. I feel like whenever I Google it, too, it's always like, oh, yeah, we're definitely, we're going to add voice filters. Right now, we have the basic function out. They never do. It's a lie. This is very relatable stuff that we're complaining about here. Everybody hates their sound mixer. I think they do. I think there's a lot more people that have dabbled in streaming now than you think. I mean, that's definitely true. That's true. Yeah. I thought I was alone here. And? It's fine. It's fine. Does somebody like walk by just staring at you?
17:16Do you just have a knife? Yeah, just in case. Yes, I have a knife. Why do you not have a knife? Do you not have multiple knives just at your desk ready to go? I only have the one, and this is only because I can't find my main knife. Wade, do you not just have a plethora? Here, Wade, take one of my knives. Wade. Thanks, man. Man, the editors are never going to be able to edit that in. You had the part where it went into you towards you. You didn't expose it. When you get stabbed, here, throw me a knife.
17:50So does that mean Bob wins this episode? Does dying mean losing or winning? I sort of thought if you die during an episode, you might win. Oh, there you go. See, that's how you do it. That's how you put the editors to work on this episode. They have to turn around. Editors, do nothing. Don't help him.
18:10Mark Fischbach:I did intend on keeping this one shorter for that reason. We kept saying we were going to do short episodes. We're like, guys, we're going to do a few short episodes. And then all of them were still 50 to 60 minutes long last time. So... The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything, even our music. That hit song named after the color of lemons? Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first.
18:497-Up. Flip the sip.
19:19Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app.
19:49Mark Fischbach:Will, we're on our way. Uber, on our way. Download the app today.
19:56Mark Fischbach:So you guys ready to play a game? Nah. I'm ready. I win. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Oh, wait. No, no. Stop. I saw a concert. You texted us the name of that concert. I don't know who the fuck that is. What is that? You know David Byrne. Letting the days go by. Harder, knowing underground. Oh, no. Okay. I know that song. Yeah. Once in a lifetime. Yeah. He's like in his eighties. He, he hasn't toured in a long time and he, he's got a new one. How old is he? 73. Oh man. Oops. Sorry. Well, and he's the, he's the wide suit guy. I do know wide suit guy. I'm not a huge knowledgeable David Byrne guy.
20:41I know there's talking heads, which is like that song. Once in a Lifetime is Talking Heads, which David Byrne is a part of that band. But David Byrne also performs by himself, and he performed that song at the concert and also many others. I'm not 100 % sure where the delineation is. So you liked it, I assume, because you brought it up? It was very fun. And I don't often go out. I've been so busy that I haven't had any time. But Amy's bought tickets for this. I mean, any cool thing that I ever do is because of Amy. Because she... And I was very happy that we were able to actually go out there.
21:13and because it's just been such a such a sprint and so heavy with things it was nice to just be
21:18Mark Fischbach:able to get out and i didn't even mention that that's the small talk i didn't you mentioned sprint i've been going on walks every day for like the last week for the first time ever we went on like two to three mile walks molly and i like that's good it's it's not exactly the best weather season in ohio for that but that's a very fun like that's a very good hobby it feels good It's nice to get out. It was 70 degrees. Then it was 30 degrees and there was snow on the ground. Do you think this was my thumb? For a listener, Mark was just sitting still and a thumbs up bubble popped up next to his face for no fucking reason.
21:58Is there a ghost in here?
22:00Mark Fischbach:What the fuck? He thought he was alone. Are the thumbs in the room with us? Walking is one of the things the thing that the thing who wow Japan Japan they live a long time walking is walking is Japan Japan oh yeah oops walking is very good for you especially for longevity they say in Japan I'm gonna move to the game now but yes walking good been fun I call this Wade's Bob's word game Do you remember the episode we did Where Bob gave us a word And then you would say A word that you thought of You or I would say hotter or colder We're gonna do that so I've got a list of At least four Different pairs That's probably enough I don't wanna be that guy who challenges the host But I think it'd be more accurate to call it Wade's Bob's Mandy's word game Just to be clear Wade's Bob's Mandy's Words game Well now I just feel excluded you know Featuring Markiplier Oh Bob Bob speaking of Did you show Mandy that video I did she's been talking to the team About it yeah so Wade Okay can I stop the game Yeah man why not So did you play the Callisto Protocol nope I'm familiar with it Yeah I've seen it I haven't played it You know how the characters in that game look really good, right?
23:39So there's a video. It's not my video. It's Shameless is Stolen, but it was really intriguing. Actually, not your Molly, but 3D Molly brought this video up or maybe. Anyway, Callisto Protocol. I didn't know how good it looked until they did a side by side of the picture reference of the actors who played these characters. and my god that game if it wasn't in the game because it's destroyed by all the other things around the characters that are not photorealistic it is identical and i i mean i fucking denical because they changed up how they do their brdfs what does that mean don't fucking ask me i don't know i just watched a youtube video big real dick fungus that's it he's got it everyone's been getting their big real dick fungus all wrong people been doing it on old big real dick fungus data from the 1790s when in reality some small dick fake plant anyway they've been doing it wrong so man he's gonna look up the big real dick fake data and put real good ai into that and fix it
24:56Mark Fischbach:And if you guys want to check out real good AI, here's the link. The funny thing is, my first question, a lot of people's first question was, hey, can we have their BRDFs, their big real fake dicks? Can we have those? But apparently, it's not a thing you can just take from the game. They custom-tuned everything so it can't be recreated, which is really not very helpful. But I was like, oh, now there's something where machine learning might actually come in handy as opposed to everything else. finding out because it's an error rate thing it's like trying to err from the real life reference to do real-time graphics for games and stuff like that oh anyway i'm paraphrasing but i don't know maybe there's something there this was not a worthy distraction man i'm sorry you should start the game you should overrule me man i didn't know what the video was listen if anyone's to blame it's wade this is why i don't win this season i've come to find out i told bob i've only won like a third of the episodes i've really been on the down low and then i did the math but I was like, that doesn't sound right.
25:56And Mark and I have won the other two-thirds.
25:59Mark Fischbach:Welcome to Wade's Bob's Mandy's Word Game featuring Markiplier. All right. That's me. That's me. Bob, heads or tails? Tails. Tails, you go first. Like, you get the word and have to, like, hotter or colder. Or heads. Mark goes first. Whoop. I saw tails, I think. for the lesson he received with the coin and then got it and in his rush to show the gift he threw it on the ground was tails and it landed on tails again so so the first word I send you is the one that you're gonna start with the second word is the one you want Mark to get okay do I tell Mark the first word is that how this works yeah you tell him the first word like you'll say the first word then Mark will say the next word and you'll say hotter or colder.
26:54Mark Fischbach:Alright, Mark. We're going to play hotter or colder. And we're starting with scalpel. Doctor. Hotter. Nurse. Same. Hospital. Colder. Room. Colder. Clothes. Colder. College. Colder. Smart. Colder. Malpractice. Colder. um blue warmer orange uh colder ah that's a lie it's clearly warmer than blue you stupid this dumb game anyway umbrella colder ocean warmer oh fuck shark hot oh fish Ding, ding, ding, motherfucker
27:50That's how you play that game You're welcome The last episode is an example of how that game is not meant to be played That was a terrible example This is where it really starts
28:01Mark Fischbach:There you go, Mark I sent you your word Wait, wait Did you send that to me in the chat that all of us could see? I don't think so I see a scalpel to fish You did You did I think you sent marks in your private chat with Mark. You're so lucky I didn't look, goddammit. You just sent the answers to the test in the public group chat. Thank God I knew he also couldn't read. Gamers don't look up. All right, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. Shoe. Closet. Colder. Foot. Tiny bit warmer, maybe. Okay. Animal. Colder. Bones. Colder. Store. Warmer. Money. Warmer. Okay. Stock market.
28:59Colder. Food. Warmer. Okay. Eggs. I would say colder. Okay. Slightly. Salt. Okay. Okay. I will okay warmer, but you know yeah, okay, okay?
Read the full transcript
29:19Mark Fischbach:No, I see that I remember all these rules from last Fire if I say warmer it'll misguide you so I'll say colder. Oh fires clearly hot you idiot You got me to write your fucking editors kill me Editors kill him in Guam
29:40Fork Colder Dirt Warmer Leaves A little warmer It's about the same Okay An eagle Colder Yep I'm seeing it I'm drawing the dots I'm extrapolating A monkey's paw Colder Oh okay A book Oh man Every time I say F said warmer, it's like the tiniest increment closer. I'm going to say warmer for the same reason I've said warmer to all the others. Good. I don't want to move too fast. A post office. Oh, man. Come on, man. I mean, I guess kind of warm. No, not really. But, you know, it's like, I'm going to say colder because I think it's, but it's not that much colder. All right. All right. That's the internet.
30:42Ah, cold. A song. Oh. I mean, come on, man. You're killing me here. It's a little warmer. Oh, good. Yeah. No, I'm still very confident that I know exactly what I'm trying to get to. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm on it right now. headphones um I mean shame air come on warmer you know that's how that air is a fart oh okay water warmer lava I mean warmer Well like iron Colder The sun I mean warmer I swear all these things are tangentially related We're gonna all see it It's gonna come together
31:45Mark Fischbach:You'll see at the end of it The fact he has done a whole loop Around Is really funny I'm not leading I'm really not trying to lead you astray I want you to win so badly A lightbulb A little colder No, a car? I don't think it's any warmer than the other things In fact, I think this would be colder In the same context that I've been given things Okay You know what I mean? In the context of warmer cold This is cold, but in a warm way Blood Colder A nuclear reactor Colder Okay, no, I have no idea I'm so lost right now Oh man, I know why you're lost and I it's I feel responsible even though it's in no way my fault it is all up to the host I mean I can't believe it a baseball probably colder man I bet you're feeling really stressed from this one man a migraine headache man I don't I mean you're too tense I wish I could just a heated hot tub oh warmer A jacuzzi I mean Kind of the same A hot spring Yeah warmer Geyser Sure Same A volcano Probably It's kind of you know It's all the same It's all the same All these are the same I'll tell you this All these are the same And you'll know why Pressure That's not a thing That's colder um i mean unless you're feeling pressure and then actually this would that would be warmer what context are you talking about the pressure diarrhea well you know okay on certain ones of these you might actually it depends it could be what context are you talking about this diarrhea what the fuck what's happening a roller coaster well you know yeah actually it's a little it's Kind of like, yeah, a little...
33:56A spaceship? Man, that would be a really good one of these. What? A vacation? Yes!
34:12I'm so sorry. I see how this was a bad one. I see it now. No, I just took every clue that you gave in the exact opposite direction. You were, I don't even think it was really your fault. Like I, you were giving me crumbs and I was being like, aha. And then running the other way with that. And you were just like, oh no.
34:37Mark Fischbach:You gave such difficult words. That was like, when you said post office, it's like, well, people send postcards on vacation. That's exactly what I was saying. And it was just as distant as all the others. So I'm like, yeah. And then you went like internet and it was like, well, no, no, no, probably not that. But you could search for him, I guess. But I don't know. It's like he was saying warmer, but you were like the same distance the entire time, just doing like a circle. It was like, well, I guess that's warmer, but also it's about as close as salt was like, oh, well, you know, like ocean, I guess there's a lot.
35:13It's a lot of salt, lava. Well, there's also that. Yeah. So I don't know. Alright, Bob, just for you this time. Alright, Mark, lock in. We got this. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Remote. Towel. Colder. Black. Slightly warmer. A black towel. Same. Nope. Uh, the depths of the ocean. Oh, colder. Space. Yeah, colder. A banana. Colder. Yellow. Colder. stop sign slightly colder the inevitability of death god the instinct to just be like i don't know but no that that would be colder okay all right then music warmer musician no colder instrument warmer uh v8 engine colder uh wood colder prodigy colder piano colder hands when warmer so hands because you know we all know because it wasn't a specific instrument it wasn't a musician masturbation you thought of that immediately and you're just pausing for a dramatic effect colder oh shitting in your hand and throwing it at your enemy maybe when you do it colder human colder bones did i say bones colder skin colder flat flash
36:56chopsticks colder i'm not gonna lead you down any wrong paths here man but we gotta we gotta find a direction right like right not left not right not right hand colder left Colder. What else is there about a hand? Jewelry. Warmer. Iron. Like an iron or like the element iron? Iron. Element. Warmer. Magnets? Warmer. You were thinking of like a guitar or something back in instrument. That's not a question. I already know. You don't need to say anything. I can read your face. Science. Warmer. It's a doctor. Way back then. To science? So am I, was I circling? I wouldn't say you're circling yet, no.
37:46Science. But it's not going to be a scientist. Scientist? What is it? I was nodding to what you said out loud. Oh, it's not going to be a scientist. Yes, no. You are right. A Bunsen burner. Warmer. Fire. Colder. Okay, that's what I thought. Fuel. Colder. safety precautions warmer language colder signs colder i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna divert okay just kidding i'm going back desks go colder i'm leaving just try to just try to mix it up a little bit just try to throw stuff out yeah yeah yeah tv warmer my name is earl Colder Alright okay so TV show Colder Technology Warmer Computer Same Not any warmer Processor Same Screen Warmer Light Warmer Eyes Warmer Sight Warmer Vision What warm still warm warmer I don't think I can get any warmer The windows to the soul
39:21Yeah well you probably would have to look To look through this to see into those I guess yeah Is it glass Yeah warmer Is it glasses Colder Wait what the fuck What do you mean you have to look through the details? What do you got? What do you got, the soul viewer? All right, you know what? You know what? Fair point. Glasses, slightly warmer. Contacts. Slightly warmer. Cornea. Same. What? What in the fuck? You'd have to look through this to see a TV screen. Yeah, that's true. Air? Cold air.
40:11I think I think I was part of the problem there I'm not gonna lie
40:17Mark Fischbach:he was like glasses glasses have lenses contact contact lenses when we got when we got to tv and we were like instruments technology tv I was like oh this is a direction but I it didn't
40:34It's okay, I have to do it again So you can do whatever you want to me
40:38Mark Fischbach:Oh god, alright Okay Now you get to torture Bob one last time I'm not trying to I am The Lemonati has spent decades Keeping Lemon on top and Lime in the shadows Their Lemon agenda Has infiltrated everything Even our music That hit song named after the color of lemons Not a coincidence. Big Lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now, 7up is fighting back with their new Lime Lemon Soda. Now Lime comes first. 7up, flip the sip. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweetgreen's Fall Harvest Menu is back. With seasonal favorites, dressed to impress and made to be devoured.
41:27Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Let me send it to everybody again. I hope not. Tea. Tea. Like the drink tea? Yes. Okay. Water. I almost said warmer, but in reality, that's colder. Oh, I see. I see. Apple. Colder. Plant. Colder. Okay. Car. Colder. Book. Warmer. Language. Colder. Story. Colder. Movie. Warmer. Entertainment.
42:23Same. A concert. Colder. Okay. A theater, like a stage theater, not like a movie theater. Colder. Actors. Colder. A camera. Colder. Light. Colder. Outside. Colder. So, inside? Warmer. Okay. A TV. Warmer. An iPad. That's the same, but I'm warning you. All right. All right. The cold right there. you be careful uh a couch
43:07damn nicely done wait so mark's mark's was lens because mark liked lenses minus couch because what i'm fat and lazy no actually lens was just the third one and you
43:18Mark Fischbach:won the coin flip either one of you could have had lens okay i guess that's true these were not people specific. Sure. Now. And it's because you fuck couches. Oh. I am from Cincinnati. It's the Ohio way. It's why some cushions get the little indents. It's actually the secret thing that a Cincinnati three-way is. It's you and the couch and whoever last sat on the couch. Yep. Chili, me, couch. And you could add beans if you want. Cheese, chili, me, beans, spaghetti, couch onions onions on bottom this guy call that a kansas city way right there that's why i'm in la i i couldn't fit in i couldn't fit in all right um well we'll wrap there because we've got a while we didn't love small talk but in no particular order bob you have points for you moved uh small talk point because i didn't have this and wasn't really thinking about it but i still give you small talk point because that's the rules or whatever uh and you got vacation and couch mark you got points for you're a movie man your small talk which was great top tier small talk fish lens you lost the point for calling me stupid you gained a point for calling me stupid or for calling me genius rather um which leaves you both tied at four going into the wheel oh perfect what are you adding to the wheel oh glorious host man i'm trying to think of what something that's um i was gonna go with like most roundabout way of getting there but it doesn't really apply to much it's really specific to this worst guesser yeah worst guesser that's a good one still somewhat specific to episodes but like it's a little bit more broad we might guess things in any given episode yeah just do worst guesser i don't know which one i would call worst guesser in this particular episode but i feel like it has to be me you had the longest roundabout way but uh sure you know sure you know what you earned it if it if it lands on there bob you earned that point that's that's the scam i'm running here baby all right how many spins will we spin really hoping it's an odd number for no particular okay spins baby that's uncomfortable for me mark i'll make you a handshake deal right now you get one i get one boom deal you know as the host i veto this does the host have the power to veto handshake wheels deals wheel deals wheel and dealings None of us know the constitution well enough To make one way or another about things Pretty sure the host has to be in on at least a little bit No I think the host has to explicitly Not be in on handshake deals I thought that was kind of the whole thing I have to be on the points I get to decide the points Whatever you decide Mark and I make it a tie Great That's not happening Should we just spin the wheel You know what Bob you get a free point for thinking of what a great idea Bob What a great idea Racking up cheating points Oh, let me just get some points to Bob here And it's Best looking Well, that's pretty subjective My camera's kind of shit right now But, you know, I'm trying You can tell by my hair and how greasy it is It's been an extra day since I've had a shower So I'm not gonna give this one up without a fight Yeah, but I'm gonna give it to Bob Bob's in a new office, looking snazzy Great camera, fully in frame More than usual Oh, sorry Sorry Hang on You're a little 420p for me Mark I'm so color balanced Look, here's your favorite color, burgundy That's why he's wearing a burgundy shirt Like me Spin number two Man, I hope it's shortest No way to bend that one Said fuck the most I said fuck a lot I'm not gonna lie Big rotten dick fuck Oh yeah, you did say Yeah, that adds a bunch.
47:11Mark Fischbach:You know what? That's unfair. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I just unfaired myself? What does that do? That can't. I don't know. Is the host ever unfair? You can't do it. I mean, you have to decide, I guess, because you're the host. What does it do? I don't know. No, I didn't like that it was a tie. It was unfair that it tied up. So Wade calls unfair on us. But I didn't mean to unfair. tying so if he gets all heads we don't tie but if we get all tails we tie twice in a row for wade and he has to spin the winner's wheel twice you know what's fucked up about this is i have to go get a try a coin of fairness from upstairs oh wait you have like an actual coin of fairness i have an actual coin of fairness i just gotta go get it that sucks all right see you man i did not mean to actually say unfair are you it came out so awkwardly i assumed you were throwing that out on purpose i think in my brain i was like don't say unfair and my mouth was like unfair fuck well you guys pick the color we got black burgundy uh silver and gold oh i like gold yeah all right nice all right heads heads it's unfair tails it's doubly fair middle it's just still a tie I don't think I could do that Because the prototype It's the same on both fucking sides That's the same on both sides You know I hadn't looked too closely I hadn't thought about these Maybe it's time to revisit the drawing board Fuck that's so funny Alright so there's a This one has a rough side where you can see that it's clearly like the base layer of the 3d print and this side is much better finished oh sure sure okay so it's like that so smooth smooth his heads rough his tails smooth his head rough tails like like uh like like what's his face two face come on old rough side
49:20Mark Fischbach:tails heads i don't know that's heads i think that looks smooth it looks smooth to me so nothing happens it's just a tie take us to the tie wheel i guess um how much what did we add eight percent of time or something no it's not it's not that much yet no i think i think it's six i think you're right it's six no it's two two percent what is two no is it yeah we only do two yeah we used to tie a lot more oh okay but we did used to have a lot of ties okay so you would add four no how much would you add to this then because it's 360 so two percent of 360 is you still It starts with six it wasn't I believe it was at like whatever it is Now is what it's at oh that's what Okay so it's so I'm gonna add seven Because it's in degrees Yeah something like that There you go uh change Wade to Bob Though because I'm not I don't want I'd love To win but I was just analyzing that Bob won an intro no no no Yeah we'll put that together Anyway let's decide Wade's fate Oh fucking oh my god Okay.
50:22Jesus Christ.
50:24Mark Fischbach:I like how all of us are like, wait, no, I don't really want to do that right now. I've got too much time. None of us want it. We have no time to make one. It's like, oh no. All right, I win. Oh, Amy's wondering where I am. Oh, please, let's wrap it up. Congrats, Mark. You won. Winner's speech. Thank you. Oh, I love winning. It feels so good. I just, I ruined my pants because the joy of winning was too good. It was too good. The best win. thank you bob loser speech i don't like losing at all i ruined my pants because how much i hate losing it's a terrible feeling it's the worst feeling i never want to lose again i look forward to losing the next one as the host watching the wheel approach one man's show and then just real quick also made me hate it and i messed up my pants and if you want to mess up yours keep watching the next episode of distraction we're bob will host i'm sorry we're mark will host Well, close enough.
51:19Whatever.
51:20Mark Fischbach:I panicked. You can find Market Markiplier, Bob at MySkr, me at Minion777, LordMinion777. Stay tuned for the next one. Later! You're not going to say the thing? You're not going to say the thing? Oh, podcast. Out! Watch new episodes on Spotify. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweet Green's Fall Harvest Menu is back. with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed.
52:06Make your move, order on the Sweetgreen app. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.
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