Wade's Worst House Issues (Compilation)

0:00This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G home internet. The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at UCLA Speed Test. So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on UCLA Speed Test. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved. From brown muddy showers to miscellaneous mishaps. Yes. Yes! It's time for Wade's Worst House Issues.

0:39Have we talked much since I had to replace five toilets? Wait, what? When did you have to replace five toilets? That's like all the toilets at your house. Yeah. For some reason in Ohio, some of these houses are built. They're like three bedrooms, but they're like, you know what? You need five bathrooms. And everyone's like, oh man, five bathrooms. No, you don't. You don't want you to five bathrooms. Everyone in Ohio only eats junk food, so they just constantly have the runs, right? So you need toilets close by in case you've got a diarrhea. I guess so. I don't know why there are so many bathrooms, but let me tell you, all that it means is literally more shit to clean.

1:12So much. It's so bizarre. In my entire life, and I have owned a house, I have lived in apartments, I have never had a toilet break on me. I've never seen a toilet, like, just in my own home, at least. Really? Yeah. I've never seen a toilet shut down. three of the five have broken and i was so mad i was so fed up because we had water damage in the same ceiling that more mood guy was i was just like you know what i'm done i don't care what it costs i called i was like bring me five toilets install them do my bidding today like oh we can do it tomorrow i was like fine tomorrow i literally replaced every toilet in the house because i was just like i'm so fed up i'm tired of like every six months finding more water damage they're like we replaced the spickety spookity inside the backity backity you won't have any more drips it's like oh well fuck right off because i will that plumber who talks like that is definitely a key component of your problem i think if you paid a guy it's coming to your house and he was all oh the spickety spookity at the back that's a red flag wade that's a bad start okay yeah that's no good yeah uh what's going on with you uh nothing i've been locked in my house for like two weeks since we got back.

2:28We got family visiting here soon, so I gotta like clean house. It's like, oh, I feel better. Time to clean toilets. So that's my week coming up. Very exciting stuff. It takes like five minutes to clean a toilet. This house has five. I live in a house with five toilets. I have a man who owns five toilets. Wow, man. And I replaced them all once, so technically I've owned ten in this house. Yeah, all of them flood. That's your only superpower. Just take such prolific shits that no toilet will survive for long. Anytime anybody listening ever has a water issue, I get tweeted and blamed for it. Like, anytime someone's like, I spilled my coffee at work and got my desk wet.

3:09Drowned man curse! It's like, I don't think so. I couldn't imagine what that must be like. And Mark definitely has no idea. Yeah, nothing like that. Anyway, Bob, how's your fridge? It's fine. Actually, you know what? It's still a piece of shit and I hate it every day. All right. Just stand there hating it. Things are actually pretty good. We got rid of our old house, so I'm no longer a man with 10 toilets. I'm only a man with five. You have five toilets? Dude, I feel like every house we've ever looked at in Cincinnati, for some reason, it's like one bedroom, five toilets. You know what? I just, I say that, but we do have four toilets in my house.

3:47I forgot we have them. I mean, for Cincinnati, man, I don't know if it's because we have chili or what it is, but they're like, you need toilets. you need so many toilets you gotta have the capacity to dump out on every floor of your house at least one location okay you gotta have a master bathroom uh if you have if you have a two-story house and a basement which i i feel like a basement's pretty standard here but you have a basement toilet a main floor toilet a master toilet and then like one upstairs guest toilet you have to have at least four toilets otherwise it's not really a house it's a weird warehouse you've been set up you're on like ashton kutcher's punked was he the one that hosted punk i think so actually so if you don't have four toilets or more in cincinnati you're you're on an episode of punked i've lived here all my life it's been a 20 year build up he's coming ashton is coming all right so that's doing well for you well having five less toilets is great yeah that's that's the takeaway from all right thank you for the time wait no can i i don't so i don't want to get into the details of the transaction because i don't want to dox you or anyone but what how is the to the disclosures on your old house in regards to all the water damage stuff.

4:55I was very transparent. Did you write like a five page paper of like, and then this toilet leak and it came through this ceiling and there's pictures in the, in the appendix. For every issue we had, we spent so much money trying to fix everything correctly. And we redid so many like pipes that like on the form, I was like, look somewhere along the ownership lines there were a lot of like do-it-yourselfers that really sucked and we spent whatever five years redoing their doing and this happened this happened this happened and this happened but we did everything we can to fix it right and we did this we did that we replaced this like i was very upfront because honestly i am proud of the work we had done in that house because we thought it would be our forever home so we were fixing it up to like be done correctly for that so i had just i fully disclosed every even things i probably didn't have to disclose i was like this happened we fixed it you're welcome buy my house i would tell you all what's going on in my life but other than more plumbing issues i do have more plumbing issues you have new plumbing issues yeah so um we had the backflow thing removed right then they wanted to come like check everything out like okay we're just gonna come out do like an inspection make sure everything's working good and they came out working good they're like well while we're here let's go ahead and just test like we'll do your normal inspection we'll test your faucets and things the guest room shower they They went to turn on like the tub faucet thing and it was pouring out water.

6:14And they're like, all right. They flip it to the shower. Shower like trickles out some water. The tub part's still pouring out. And then behind the tub part, water starts spraying like where it connects to the wall, which is not where it's supposed to be spraying. So we went to replace that. And a plumber came back and was like, OK, you guys have the trim thing. Yep, got it. Is it the right one? Yep, this looks like the right one. Great. Couldn't take long. Went to install it. And I guess it comes with like an O-ring that helps seal it. And somehow the plumber took this new O-ring and just fucking ripped it in half or something.

6:43And was like, ah, well, I can't finish installing it because you see this O-ring is damaged. I accidentally ripped it whenever I was doing blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, okay. He's like, don't worry. We got tons of these. I'll get one. Be back out tomorrow to fix it. They have ghosted me since. I've heard nothing. Oh, no. Oh, no. This O-ring is lost in the void. Per usual, we've got company coming soon. And I guess I've got to rule out that particular bedroom because, well, the bathroom. if you try to use the shower. Also, this is a more subtle thing that doesn't apply to everyone. If you get a generator installed, your generator comes with a set of keys that keeps it locked up so people can't just access it that are going by.

7:20I highly recommend you don't lose the keys because man, oh man, could they not inspect the generator if you don't have the keys? Not saying I lost my keys. I'm just telling you all out there, don't. You know what? That axiom that I live by when you're talking about keys is don't lose them doesn't matter if it's for a bike lock for a cabinet maybe you got keys for you know for some kind of deck box generator you know what I do is I just keep those yeah no what you gotta do is you gotta sneak into Wade's house and just start pouring cups of water around the bases of all the toilets oh fucking god damn it no Wade walks into a dark bathroom flicks the lights on and there's like 16 ounces there's a water on the floor and he's like no yeah you're new is the new is the you guys remember when wade's toilet leaked water for like two years straight yes i did just this year i had to replace all the toilets it happened again this year dude my mind was blown because i was on tiktok just browsing and i saw someone in a drowned man's shirt and it was just like they were doing a completely different bit not related they were just wearing it casually and i'm like oh my oh my god Oh my god.

8:32That's cool. Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet. You already know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month. But here's something new worth noting. T-Mobile now is the fastest 5G Home Internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test. No, seriously, their 5G home internet speeds are officially the fastest, which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know.

9:15And yeah, it is still a great value. Backed by a five-year price guarantee, so your bill doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention. So if you want the fastest 5G home internet, For the simple setup and savings that actually stick, head over to t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability today. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on OOF speed test intelligence data. Second half 2025. All rights reserved. But this week, we're going to be starting it in an unusual fashion. We're going to be starting with small talk. Oh, boy. A lot of great things.

9:47A lot of great things. Did you know radon is a thing and there's systems that mitigate it? And boy, when those systems go wrong and they buzz for like four or five seconds and make a horrible kicking noise every four minutes throughout all of your entire life. And you can even hear it in your bedroom and you're trying to go to sleep. And like you get that moment where it's like kind of wakes your ass up real quick. So, man, I'm on a kick. Who needs coffee, energy drinks when you have radon mitigation? Can't you just turn it off? Apparently I can unplug it. I found that out today. Yeah, you should have.

10:19I guess if you have a basement or you're near water or whatever else, like a little radon detection. At the very least, if you do have high radon, mitigation is important because radon can eventually lead to lung cancer and other bad things. You don't want that. Radon is a radioactive gas that has no smell, color, or taste produced from the natural radioactive decay of uranium, which is found in all rocks and soils. That was eBay. How much? So are you on a list now for searching eBay for radon? I don't think so. I don't think radon is really something you could buy in bulk. It's a gas that seeps into basements.

10:50I don't think it's... Well, you haven't gone to Costco or Sam's and looked for it. I was at Costco today. Didn't have any radon. Well, that's unfortunate. So Wade is irradiated. I mean, I have lenses that are somewhat radioactive, but I think it's okay. Do you think that's why I'm bald? Yeah, you really should stop blocking the radon with the top of your head. You should go chin up sometimes. I am the mitigation system. It's all absorbing into your scalp to keep your hair away. Like, Wade, you're so lazy, you'll never leave the house. It's like, well, every five minutes I have to go dunk my head in the radon bucket.

11:21Has anything bad happened to your house? You know, my birthday happened recently. Terrible, Kurt. What bad thing could happen to a man on his birthday? Well, you guys remember the radon mitigation system. I've mentioned that once or twice. And your fireplace was beeping. You ever get that fixed? Fireplace was beeping. So here's what happened. We replaced our sump pump. We replaced a fan for the radon mitigation system. Those things are connected. and then i went outside and uh the dogs were outside you know sniffing around going to the restroom and they both like got to a point where they were like oh hell yes and they took off toward like the side of the house and i was like what in the fuck are they so excited about oh no a dead animal something terrible and they ran over to like our ac unit and they were just like oh god i love this smell they were like going nuts running around and i was like what in the shit is happening and I walked over and I was like what was someone eating waffles out here because the only thing I could smell was this really strong scent of maple syrup most obvious maple syrup I could not be mistaken for anything else it was maple syrup and I was looking around and I was like I don't see anything on the ground there's this like gas line I guess there's this AC unit I guess there's this really powerful power cord that says like Duke Energy which is a Cincinnati power company on it what could possibly be dangerous right here i hope it's not a gas leak oh god the dogs are really crazy it's a gas leak i'm gonna blow up and die uh because earlier that day as bob mentioned uh my fireplace was beeping whenever somebody was outside doing something i forget what they were doing but um oh we had like some wood like around uh we have a generator and the wood got damaged around the generator when someone was doing like some kind of landscaping thing on the generator itself so we replaced like a piece of wood and the guy was over there working and I was like, you replaced the wood around the generator and he hit a gas line.

13:06And now it's leaking, a maple syrup smell. We're all gonna die. So the first thing I did was I immediately called like the gas company. And I was like, they were like, this is after hours. In case of emergency, I was like, yes, it could be. And they were like, hey, what's going on? I was like, does gas smell like maple syrup? And they were like, I don't think so. But you know what? I'm gonna get you one of our technicians. They'll call you in a few minutes. We'll get you sorted. And while I was waiting to hear back, I was doing more research. I was like, maple syrup smell, maple syrup smell. Could be urine, could be an air conditioning coolant leak.

13:36And I was like, AC units right there. AC coolant leak. That's it. I'm going to call and get someone from the AC company out here. So I called and I was like, hey, you guys know that maple syrup smell. I saw it online. I've got that. And the person was like, never heard that one before. But okay, maybe you have an older model. No, no. Real value shows up in reliability. You don't have to second guess. like a set of Firestone all-season tires. They're designed to deliver confidence-inspiring wet weather traction and a quieter ride, no matter the road, season after season. Firestone all-season tires.

14:15For durability, you can count on. Just like people count on you. Firestone, always dependable since 1900. Oh no, you can't trick me. I've got the maple syrup stink. I sounded like a madman because I kept calling numbers. I was like, dude, maple syrup. I know it's you. I know it's you. I know maple syrup. I got the smell. Maple syrup. So I kept calling and eventually like, you know, the gas company technician called me back and he's like, it would smell like eggs or something. Whatever smell he told me. Like propane has a scent. Other gas has a scent. He was going through different scents of things.

14:50So, okay, probably not that. Next, the other person called me. They were like, hey, I can come out tomorrow. Take a look. If it's your AC coolant, you know, it's fine to wait for a day. I'll come take a look tomorrow. We'll see what it is. This is on April 2nd. So I'm streaming. And then 9 o 'clock Eastern, I end my stream. And then Molly texts me, door? And I was like, door? And I go upstairs and there's people at my front door. And I'm like, who's at my front door at 9 o 'clock at night? Is it the gas company? Maple syrup? Is it the AC people? I open the door and Tyler is standing outside. I was like, you don't live here.

15:25then uh our friends bird and foo uh are also outside next to tyler's like you guys also don't live here you're holding something is that a cookie cake they're like surprise it's like what what what's happening oh it's my birthday tomorrow you guys are here the day before my birthday surprise we might have a gas leak got their suitcases and stuff and i was like come on in it's definitely safe nothing to worry about so they surprised me it was awesome they came in we hung out next day is my birthday and we're talking about plans like oh we're gonna go out and do this i'm just gonna wait for this technician to come out he's gonna take a look at the ac unit probably to replace something but you know what it'll be cool dude shows up takes a look at the ac unit and on my birthday i'm describing this maple syrup smell and the guy's like i do smell maple syrup actually like i've never heard that honestly thought you were crazy but it smells like maple syrup i was like i'm not crazy i know maple syrup i've had it i've eaten maple syrup before i know the smell.

16:19It goes on waffles. It goes on pancakes. French toast. I know about maple syrup. So the guy's trying to convince me it's not the AC unit and he's like, he's rubbing his hands on the pipes of the thing. He's like, I know this is weird, but like I was like, oh. For those who are just listening, Wade jutted his fingers towards camera. Not said a word. That's what happened was the guy held his fingers toward me like in a very, took me a minute to realize and attempt to get me to sniff his fingers. Well, he didn't want to say out loud the words smell my fingers i don't like to admit it to anyone but yes i paid this man 60 to come to my house so i could smell his fingers on my birthday oh did you yes three separate times i smelled this man's fingers three times that's a little strange and none of the times that his fingers smell like maple syrup they were bad it got away from bad to worse the mystery thickens you know and there were only two pipes you rubbed on so i really i honest i swear to god i don't know what the third one was that I smelled, but they were all bad.

17:15I don't mean to say it, but have you thought about a Canadian ghost? Like I hadn't. There are a lot of Canadian ghost refugees in Ohio. Are you, is your house on a Canadian burial ground? Is this like, I just got to ask. Yes, people do. They, they, uh, they have their pilgrimage from Canada to Cincinnati to bury their loved ones where I live quite often. But yeah, I smelled his fingers, no maple syrup, nothing good really weird uh and the guy's like okay well let me check a couple other things you have like an exhaust pipe over here from your furnace i'm gonna go check that just to make sure it's not a gas leak i've got this fun little thing that looks like a ghostbuster tool i'm gonna rub across all your pipes so we did that no gas leak but he did smell our exhaust thing from our furnace he was like the scent's kind of strong i'm gonna take a look at your furnace make sure we're all good there and then i guess i'll get out of here and uh the smell doesn't go away Call someone else Who do I call and he's like Ghostbusters I'm just kidding I don't know see ya See ya You exit a bit You're like ah that didn't land see ya Well I was the guy It was the guy right yeah Wade is Standing there next to the repair technician And he's like who do I call and the guy's like Ghostbusters Nah I'm just kidding I gotta go good luck I don't know, man.

18:33Just as an exit tool for a conversation I don't want to be in. That's great. See ya. See ya! So, guy comes in the house. He looks at the furnace. And he's like, alright, uh, it's an older furnace. Let me take a look here. To describe what happened, uh, his eyes got wide and he froze. Didn't say a word. Immediately reached for a valve. Turned it. Grabbed an orange, I think it was an orange ticket out of, I don't even know where. Immediately put it around the thing and was like, you need a new furnace. I was like what the maple syrup he's like no no maple syrup maple syrup he's like I don't know what made the maple syrup noise but like your heat exchange is uh you need a new furnace oh no can you just do that real quick I don't know if you guys remember this but a year year and a half ago old house guess what had to replace the furnace in the AC unit I do remember that yeah so the guy's like you need a new furnace and like you know your AC unit it's newer uh but some parts were soldered and welded that aren't supposed to be.

19:29It's not really a great brand. And in all honesty, I was going to just tell you that you might want to look into replacing it at some point before it goes bad because it was just, it was installed really poorly. And I was like, oh, so if you're going to do the furnace, you could do a bundle where you do the furnace in AC unit. And I was like, dude, I just did this like a year ago. Don't do this to me, man. Not you. Not like this, please. Maple syrup. I called you about maple syrup. Don't tell me the furnace. Maple syrup. Maple syrup. We can have some guys come out tomorrow. I'll have another guy come out today he'll go over pricing and stuff with no i don't want to i don't want to do it i don't want to ultimately had to wait meanwhile you know tyler bird food they're chilling they're like man we can go downtown to cincinnati we go to the zoo maybe we can call it bob mandy we hang out have some fun friend times i was like hey guess what i got another technician coming in like an hour i'm stuck but tomorrow tomorrow we'll do some fun stuff guy comes out an hour later gives me pricing i agree whatever yeah technician will be out tomorrow around like 7 a.m to start working on your furnace.

20:237 a.m. tomorrow. You mean, while my friends are here? How long will it take? A couple hours? Yeah, about eight to 10 hours. 10 hours. While my friends are here for the surprise birthday party. Okay, so next day we're here. They install the furnace. They install the AC unit. It takes all fucking day. Surprise party turned into like, hey, maple syrup? Smell my fingers? Pay 16 grand for another furnace and AC unit? Happy birthday. All right, we gotta go to the airport. See you, Wade. Guys, what about hangout? No, we're leaving. Maple syrup. Ah, man, you know, it's such a shame because what should have happened is they should have all chipped in, got you a new furnace and installed them themselves.

21:02Yeah, all they brought me was a cake and some plane tickets to fly to see me, those cheap bastards. I swear to God, they must have been chucking maple syrup bottles into your chimney and it went down into your furnace. That was before they were even in town. Here's the kicker. Do you know what the cake said that they brought me that I looked at? Sorry about the maple syrup. happy burp ran out of letters close mark you have a guess no we have an inside joke from where we went to disney a year and a half ago and as sports fans bird's a fan of the 49ers i'm a fan of the bangles so you're the pat of the worst team come on man come on man a year and a half ago the 49ers and bangles were both in the afc championship game and the 49ers had zero quarterbacks their quarterback like broke both of his arms their other quarterback had a concussion they were to the point where they had a quarterback who could not throw all he could do was hand the ball off they lost.

21:50The joke phrase of the day became, can this day get any worse? Later that night, the Bengals lost to the Chiefs after one of the Bengals players tackled Patrick Mahomes three miles out of bounds. And we said, can this day get any worse? So they brought me a cookie cake that jokingly said, can this day get any worse? And then my furnace and AC unit broke. It got worse. So what smelled like maple syrup? Yeah. What was the maple syrup about? Never solved the mystery of the maple syrup. Did it go away? I didn't. So I've gone out and I've smoked a couple times i don't smell it anymore so my best guesses are it was in fact the ac unit or it was some animal's urine because apparently some animal can have something going on where their urine can have like a maple syrupy smell canadians but the weird thing is the smell seemed like it was higher up on like some bushes it was like middle up on these bushes so it wasn't like it had to have been like it was chica chica chica shat on mark's vision pro then came and pissed on my bushes she's learning how to defecate higher mark go smell your vision pro does it smell like maple syrup did you taste the poop are you sure it's not maple syrup no yeah so um bob as you know uh we had a little bit of an issue with our radon mitigation system i don't know if you heard about that where we had to have that fixed a couple times i remember being very sympathetic to that issue if i recall correctly yes maple syrup maple syrup um i think i talked about on here how we had someone come look at our ac unit that smelled like maple syrup and then it turned out we needed a new furnace Two days ago, I was upstairs and I was watching TV or watching a show or something.

23:16And we have a gas fireplace and the fireplace turned on. And I was like, oh man. Of its own accord? Molly must have turned it on. I looked over and the remote's next to me. Keters is asleep on my lap. The puppies are asleep on my lap or next to me. And Molly's not even there. And I went, huh? So no one turned it on, but that is a fire. I looked at the remote. The remote said off. I am looking at a fire right now. Well, it was off, so clearly not, I guess. Let me go feel it. Yep, that's warm like fire, all right. Wait, he who walks over to his fireplace. Two weeks ago, Molly's like, yeah, the fireplace turned on by itself.

23:55And I was like, okay, the cat stepped on the remote. Something happened to do this. Like, whatever. Fire just doesn't, what, gas just coming in and igniting on its own? That doesn't make any sense. But now that I witnessed it, I'm like, man, my wife's not a liar. That's crazy. Looking into it, apparently after a while, guess fireplace got like wires or things could go wrong where fireplaces go bad and have to be fixed to replace. But I'm starting to think, man, that there's a Wade problem with homeownership. Are you about to be the burned man? The scorched man? Everything in the old house. You guys like rarely tell me about shit going wrong in your houses, but every now and then, every week I'm like, yeah, dude, had to replace this had to replace that hey guess what apparently every like 10 15 years you have to replace a gas fireplace so um guess what i'm calling soon a gas fireplace company come look at our fireplace because i feel like a gas fireplace turning on by itself is um a bit sketch no that's not great it's good that it did ignite itself or whatever yeah does it have like a pilot or is it like like we have gas fireplaces where it's a switch on the wall you turn it on and it doesn't have a pilot light but it has a little electric thing that ignites it but if that doesn't work you're just letting gas flow into your house?

25:04Couldn't tell you. I know how to shut the gas off to it, and I know where the button on the remote that says on is. Fancy. Well, if there was a pilot light and it just lit, that means there's gas leaking in there, so it's probably not great. So I'd keep the fire on if I were you. Fireplace! We solved the mystery of our ghost fireplace. Remember I told you like months ago our fireplace was turning itself on? Wasn't that tied into the whole maple syrup smell debacle? It was around the same time. We decided, well, okay, we, I decided to, I was like, you know, our fireplace is turning itself on. That's probably safe.

25:35Let's wait four months to get someone to look at it. So finally got someone to look at it and somehow didn't explode. It turned out. So under this gas fireplace, there's a little panel you can open up and there's a switch in there. So if your remote dies, you can turn it on, just have it on. You can turn it off or you can turn to where the remote works. Cool. Makes sense. There's also So a separate little function where you can turn the gas on or off to it. Sure, sure. Somebody spliced in a second switch for the on-off. And the second switch had exposed wires about a quarter of an inch apart. And when those wires arc or touch, the fireplace just comes on.

26:10And it turns out whenever apparently it was like getting hot or something under there, it would either arc or the wires would be close enough to where they would just spark and turn the fireplace on. So we removed that and now we don't have ghost fireplace anymore. Do you have any idea why they may have done that? Nope. And neither did the guy that was looking at it. He was like, huh, I've never seen a fireplace with two on-off switches underneath in the emergency on-off switch that are connected and therefore only work if the other one still has power. Yeah, that's an interesting choice. I don't know why, but it's gone.

26:40And now fireplace safe? Wade, how is your mood doing knowing that you're a full inch shorter than Bob? Blood sugar, probably okay. Okay. Blood pressure, probably slightly elevated. Do you guys remember a certain noise? I may have talked about a nice every six minute. You talking about the Michigan hum or whatever it was? It's my version. It's called the radon mitigation system and it's back. Was some kind of ghost ruining your radon system? What's going on? I don't know, but it lasted a full like month and a half and all of a sudden every six minutes. Well, Right now, it's like every 10 to 12.

27:19So it's not quite as severe. I thought you had people come fix that and also paid them a lot of money, I assume. And guess what phone call I'm making as soon as this episode ends? I would love for you to get a Geiger counter. Do you know what a Geiger counter is? I don't know what a Geiger counter is. I'm not a fool. And some people may not know what a Geiger counter is. And we're not going to explain it because apparently everyone knows what a Geiger counter is. So if you're listening at home and you don't know what that is, that's a problem for you, idiot. Hey, I've got friends that I had to teach what bipedal meant and they acted like I was some snob for knowing it They're like who uses the term bipedal who knows what that means?

27:56I was like I thought everyone Yeah, why wouldn't anyway? We're not gonna explain it either for all of you who don't know it We don't want to come off as a snob So I'm gonna give you a point for snobbery, but have you noticed any side effects? Are you your eyes are a little red? No other than trying to fall asleep and be like, oh, peace and urrrr I just, I have to say, I didn't know radon systems could even be so loud. Every house I've lived in in Ohio has had one. Never heard it make a noise my entire life. Like once every five or ten years, you're supposed to replace that fan. It's been a month.

28:30Not a great sign. There must be something going on. You got like squirrels in your radon tubes. So I found out, I don't know if I told you guys, the fan is actually not even on the inside. So they've got like the system the tubes and stuff inside that go like down into like the I don't know if it's like Just a hole in the basement or what it is But basically all the radon supposed to collect down there Then the fan will turn suck it out and shoot it through a tube and get it out of your house So the fan is into a pipe that's outside But for some reason when that fan is going bad it shakes the whole house and it's not even that big It's like a container that's like yay big that's the fan that somehow rattles the whole house I've got a solution for you.

29:10You go to Target, you get a box fan. Shove that bad boy up against that thing, duct tape it in place, run it at max speed, problem solved. Box fans are good for everything, man. Making beef jerky, getting rid of radon, all kinds of stuff. I actually used a box fan back before I didn't know how overclocking worked, and I opened the side of my computer and shoved a box fan inside, and then proceeded to promptly fry my graphics card into oblivion. No, you're supposed to use water cooler use one of those fans that sprays water You what you want to do is fill the bathtub up and then you just dip it in there.

29:44That'll keep it cool Absolutely, so box fans very versatile ignore what I said about blowing up my graphics card. It'll save your life Anyway the toilet the same toilet that was leaking three other times it's leaking again and more so that's different And I didn't poop my pants, but I did. I went to go use the bathroom. I pulled my pants down and they touched it. They touched the toilet water. Those pants are dead to me. Do you think there's a plumber conspiracy in Cincinnati where they intentionally screw up our plumbing? Is our water just super hard? Is it the water company? Why are there so many water issues in Cincinnati?

30:21Well, I don't think that breaks toilets. I think water hardness probably clogs faucets and breaks water heaters. But the toilet's a mystery. You know what? I'm going to be super honest. and this is uh this is kind of gross probably as a as a large man who weighs a lot I've had this problem in the past but usually once is enough usually the toilet just needs to be re reseated with a new thingy a new wax or whatever wax ring or whatever and then that's it because I because like if it's not bolted down properly and then I'm I'm very heavy I can make it move a little bit and this isn't even that I told the guy when he was here last time I was like look at me I'm fat this This toilet's got to hold up, man.