Worst Tech Issues (Compilation)

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1:21Ethan Nestor:The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at UCLA Speed Test. If you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on UCLA Speed Test. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved. From camera calamity to synthetic eclipses. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's time for Worst Tech Issues Mark is either gone or sitting very still Hello? He's thinking Hello? Hello? Let's try a simple one Mark, how many fingers?

2:05Ethan Nestor:Hello? Oh wait, I know how to fix this Mark, how many fingers? Hello? I texted you Hello? You know what, Bob? I'm gonna give you a good internet point Thanks That seems fair Hello? They tried to take me out It didn't work The world government Oh, sweet fucking Jesus. No, no, not again. Hello? Alright, sorry everyone, we had to break in the middle of our context there. Mark's tub got us all very wet, so we had to take a moment to dry off. But where we were chatting just a moment ago, which is right where we're picking up for you guys, but a few minutes later for us. Oh, there they are. Red and...

2:42Ethan Nestor:What happened? Hello? What? Why did... Can you hear me? Suddenly my... A light went out, and this... My headphones went out. that's not good unplug it and plug it back in unplug it and plug it back in for everyone listening i am now rendered deaf but i don't know why because my computer is still on internet's still working they can hear me but i can't hear them bob's pointing at a mouse hold on it's what happened was i think i think the guys outside working on things blew us very specific fuse that is only like to one plug in this office. Control it. Control it. Look at this one. It's like a gold camo.

3:23Why are you showing your controllers? I can't understand you. The back of the controller?

3:27Ethan Nestor:This one doesn't have the USB-C though, which is disappointing. Back, back. Xbox, USB, USB plug. The plug, plug the USB in. Oh man, okay, hold on. Let me troubleshoot. Lenses. Oh my God, is that a Markiplier ass shot in 2024. Editors, you know you gotta do it with that. What? Look at Caveman Mark. I gotta go check the fuse box. I'll be right back. The fuse box. So easy a Markiplier Caveman can do it. Hey guys, my computer is dying. Uh oh. Fucking shit. I need to go get the charger for my laptop or apparently it's at 10 % battery. Run! Run! My chair closes, locks my office door from opening. Hang on.

4:10Ethan Nestor:Alright. Alright. Head empty, foam wet, not on walls. It's not my fault. My laptop is dying. It's a little bit. I'm in my character. I don't know. Will, this might need to be an edit out depending on what's said here. I had it plugged in over here for a while. Oh no. I think maybe it got put in the cabinet at some point. I really wish you'd start talking shit about this. I'm not saying that you touched it, I know. The painting people moved all the shit around painting person. I feel like we shouldn't listen to it. I know. So, uh, what's up? Small talk? You got anything interesting in mind? Oh, laptop charger.

4:47Ethan Nestor:Where did I leave you? Oh, it's in my backpack, which is upstairs next to my computer. Okay. Fuck. I can't un-listen, but I don't do it. Oh, I'm wearing a microphone. I wonder if I can still hear me.

5:08Ethan Nestor:did you guys hear me that whole time

5:13we were kept going like oh no we shouldn't listen to this i found my charger guys it was right here five feet away from me wow can you believe it oh man that's crazy we were trying not to listen but we couldn't help it why would you try not to listen we were trying to talk over you

5:31Ethan Nestor:I'm the one who went to the bathroom wearing my love. That's the rule. Hello? Mark, are you taking the longest drink of coffee in history or are you frozen? Hello? I think he's gone.

5:55Ethan Nestor:Remember that noise Mark was talking about his computer started making? I think something might have just gone horribly wrong. Hello? Hi. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, that was super weird. My Ethernet adapter just failed. I've never had that problem ever. And it just started working again? Or did you have to like go into the device manager or something? I switched to Wi-Fi. If I go into my device manager, my Ethernet is now appearing and disappearing. And the whole adapter is like on and off. And what's weird is that's a motherboard integrated Ethernet adapter. Yeah. That's not great. I don't like that that happened then I heard that weird fan worrying that might not be a fan That might be the power supply.

6:37Yeah, you might be in trouble this episode. Let's look at it this way You know if I were to list the

6:46Ethan Nestor:Why did that are you are you about to get consumed by a creature of the darkness or you alright for those who are

6:58Ethan Nestor:doing anything. Mark, are you in Nope? Uh, you know, maybe I would just will not look up. Uh, and I think that if we had to tie together aliens eating people and meat eating, Nope is a perfect example. And I'm so glad you brought that up. So when it launched, it said it was going to have like an XLR for audio in expansion thing. It came out two years after the camera came out. They finally were like, here's the plate. And I'm like, where, where am I? Why? I didn't do it. You okay, buddy? Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Too much abuse of the bomb switch. The camera's getting ornery. Hey, I ordered a new mattress.

7:38Ethan Nestor:Ding dong. Oh. Oh.

7:43Ethan Nestor:So dumb. Oh. So we have an idiot, a sleep deprived guy, and a sick guy doing a podcast episode today. And this is what you get. Wait, you left yourself as the idiot? Yeah, I don't have any other excuses right now. I was telling you I was doing a firmware update on this thing Oh, what's the lens like on that? We should see the lens. It's the same as

8:14Ethan Nestor:It's like when you give toddlers technology They make their first video and it's like really shitty and they look at it embarrassed 20 years later Like what was I thinking? We don't have to be these people guys. We can Change our lives for the better right now. Doesn't that blow your mind that you could just decide right now to become a different person? I'm gonna stand up. I'm becoming a different person as you speak. I'm gonna stand up Have fun with that fucking losers. I'm standing. Mark your height didn't change that much It did though! I lost the camera! That's so rude of you! I'm literally out of the frame!

8:52I'm so tall! Plot twist, you have a little stepping stool by your chair. I know this is gonna rip cables out from everywhere, but here I go.

8:59Ethan Nestor:Mark freezes and disappears again. Mark, no! He did! He did! Oh, everyone's frozen! No!

9:12Why did that happen? What could have possibly pulled? What did that?

9:19Ethan Nestor:You must have lost wireless fidelity for a moment. Fuck! Oh, he froze?

9:31Ethan Nestor:Why is that happening? You're stretching those cables. Mark, I think you're still out of frame. You're gonna have to keep moving it. I gotta keep going. It's got so far up to travel. Here we go.

9:44Ethan Nestor:Am I still here? For now. I appreciate you picking such a nice pose to freeze in. Why is it instantly our fault? That's yeah, that's quite a leap. Well, I don't know who else to blame. It can't be my fault, so it's gotta be someone else. I'm blameless. I... The lie was so hard it pushed me out of focus. I don't know what... Mark went flying across the room and lost focus. Our world is dedicating every bit of their graphical power to developing these models, and this is the progress. They're deleting me. I'm going out of focus again. They heard you talking shit about their AI and they were like, don't, you want access to it?

10:20Ethan Nestor:You better not. Or Mark has been AI this whole time and the servers are just updating and he's getting blurred out because they can't process him while also updating. Yeah, every time Mark goes out of focus or his light turns off and on again, that's just the AI losing object permanence for a second and having to remember. What the hell was going on? What's going on? Oh, you're out of focus. That's weird. Yeah, that's so strange. Segway, you always have something weird going on every time. I don't know why that's been happening I did a firmware update for this lens, which is a weird thing to say, but it still is a little funky Oh, we almost had a whole episode without Mark saying the word lens points to mark for saying lens Unprompted.

11:00Oh God. What have I done? Oh sweet Jesus. No memory card mark. There's no memory card. It's not one new madman It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I've never ever crossed this thresh. Oh god, this freaking light.

11:13Ethan Nestor:I don't know. I don't know what this - For the listeners, Mark's light just turned itself off for like the dozenth time today. I don't know why. And here it is again. It just turns on and off. I don't get it. I can't. I'm not even like connected to it in the app. I've unplugged it, turned it back on, reset it. It still just like turns off every once in a while and then turns back on. TGP, thingle ping. I like that. I'm frozen. Help! Your thumbnail just updated so now it's the frozen image on the side panel. You're so good at holding a pose. Hello. There he is. Hey man, welcome back. Uh, it froze so thoroughly I couldn't even hit the reboot button.

11:53I had to shut the whole thing down. Your computer heard you might be upgrading it for Belling. Well, better get in line, because I got the other computer I just built right next to it. Ready to go.

12:01Ethan Nestor:Don't let them too close to each other, they'll shit talk you. Oh. Are you okay, Mark? I got a light glare on my screen that I don't remember being there before. I can't see my face when we're talking. Did your setup move or something? I don't know. That's a strange thing. Like, I have my haunted light here that I still haven't fixed, but this is the other light and I don't remember seeing this harsh of a glare on this. Maybe if I just turn the light. So, well, then I lose illumination. Mark's got some real problems. Oh, but then there's a blessing at the back. Okay. I was going to ask Mark how he's doing, but we can tell.

12:33Ethan Nestor:If you're watching on Spotify podcasts, if you're watching the video only available on Spotify, you could see the horrible situation that Mark is in. Yeah, it's suffering. Look at the illumination levels, Mark. It's not. Yeah, I don't have quite the same amount of edge lighting, but if it goes this way, then it's going to just it's going to glare the screen and right there. And literally my camera lens is like shadowed right there. Oh, that fixed it. Oh, perfect. I just moved my monitors. That's what it was. My monitor got moved to. Anyway, it's all good guys. All of Mark's problems are solved.

13:07Ethan Nestor:That's all you got going on over there, right? This is such an easy fix. I'm professional. You should laugh at that. That's that I think you told it well enough to earn some - I think Mark is slowly being engulfed by hell the more we go into this. Yeah, Mark, are you second circle? Third circle? How far down? What the hell's happening to you? People are just listening at home. I am slowly sinking into a pit of lava And I am really embracing the pain and taking it like a jam You just want to see if your body can take it? Yes, exactly and surprisingly it can it can Yeah, no my main light They're just these little battery-powered lights right now because that's all I could bring with me One of them just went out because I don't have enough plugs for anything My camera was running out of power before this so I had this as my accent little like flavor light Now it's my main light.

13:58Is it only red? It's not like adjustable or no, I could turn it to another color, but it Oh, no. Well leave it though.

14:04Ethan Nestor:Yeah, exactly. Okay. I see. I don't know. I'm with you. It's freaking Wade out Wait, let's say he's gonna have a panic attack I know it's funny and scary at the same time and I I realized that I'm not mentally stable at the moment But it's really everything's really funny. Is this better? Oh, that's way better I love that that reminds me of the thing whenever you put up to your finger and you're like, oh, I see my finger bone Kind of does Oh yeah there you go Yeah if you don't watch this show Now you have to It started out as like millennial cringe I'm like yeah I remember that That's fucking stupid and I'm me So obviously I'm gone Now my light doesn't work My camera goes out of focus every once in a while I'm just creating random timers For things to occur For how much money you've spent on cameras And light technology You have got to have the most finicky lights and camera.

14:57I don't. This isn't the good light. That's why it's in here. Oh, I see. This isn't the good lens.

15:03Ethan Nestor:That's why it's in here. This lens is 500, which is not cheap, but you were generalizing. I also keep all of my best stuff in boxes. That didn't help at all. I thought that if there was a bright behind me, it wouldn't be like, oh, that background's bright enough. You really just look like you're green screened in at this point. You got it too. I don't know. Look, I could be in Mark's office too! Editor's explode Mark's background! Wait till I do this! I'll give you something to explode on! No. There we go. There we go. Ohhhhhhh. There we go. Guys, my capture card is broken. Dune! What? Dune? You're in Dune!

15:43Ethan Nestor:I'm in Dune. Doesn't that look like the palace in - Wait! Hit the screech! I'll queue up the point! Ah! It started actually on almost the correct note that actually was really close. Yeah, but then he didn't understand what you were trying to get him to do Yeah, I don't know what the hell you're referencing. What's wrong with that one part of Dune? Wait

16:09This is a really inconvenient cutout that definitely won't be exploited I'm sure no one will ever do anything wrong with this

16:19Ethan Nestor:Random unrelated question. How wide can you open your mouth? Oh, really wide? No. Wow. I hate everything. I hate everything. How about this? Oh, look at that. Is this the whole, is this, is this small talk? Is this your small talk? No, I got other small talk. Let's do small talk. Let's move on to small talk. Wade, go ahead. My understanding is that's actually true. That if you got a butthole print, if every person would have a unique butthole print. Did Bark disconnect or... I thought he was just that disgusted with you. Maybe he did disconnect again. Hello. I really thought he was just that, like, not having it with what you said.