Was Link Right All Along? (From Good Mythical MORE)

0:00Rhett McLaughlin: Is Link still peeing in his yard?

0:06Rhett McLaughlin: Welcome to Good Mythical More.

0:11Rhett McLaughlin: Do I have news for you? Oh. You got on the news? I've got some, yeah, I got on the local news for peeing in my side yard. Local man. No, I have some information that I found. anecdotal information, yes, but powerful, on Reddit. Related directly to my situation of peeing in my side yard, which I have been ridiculed and all types, you know, shamed and critiqued and lambasted for.

0:50Link Neal: You've also been pretty vehemently defended, I will say as well.

0:54Rhett McLaughlin: And that's gonna continue today. with a little outside source called a Reddit. Called a Reddit. At my side. So I'm gonna go in on that. But first I'd like for you to talk about peeing a little bit because I was. I have experience. I was present, I wasn't, well, I was outside of the bathroom for what happened to you and I was like, we should talk about this. Yeah, we were in North Kakelake. Okay. And Jenna, you're here, right? I am, I had to come in for the pee talk. Yep. You wanna hear some pee talk? Yep, I gotta know the update. There's complete, so much pee talk today, so if you're not into that, that's all we're gonna be talking about.

1:40Link Neal: This was not the trip to North Carolina that you were present for, Jenna. This was the trip back to North Carolina, the shorter trip.

1:51Rhett McLaughlin: Mystery.

1:52Link Neal: Yep. We went out to lunch at a diner. Lunch at a diner, a good diner. Yeah. And I needed to urinate, of course, you know. That's sometimes you have to do it. And I went to the bathroom in this establishment, and it was one of those bathrooms that doesn't have a urinal, and it only has a toilet. And it's an old establishment. Old, yeah. and I mean maybe I should pee sitting down okay I'm not I'm not one of these guys who's like oh I'd never pee sitting down but I just typically I've got pretty good aim you know so I don't it's a long way down there though and I and I not as long as you think and um and then I know how to do a bang shot you know so I know how to I know how to not have a lot of spillage I think if you were to do like an infrared or however they would go about, like trying to show the spillage, like a Discovery Channel graphic of how my pee bounces around the room, I think it would be low bounce.

2:59Link Neal: Okay. I think I have a low bounce. So I like to stand up. Also, if you don't have to put your butt on a seat.

3:08Rhett McLaughlin: I love the fact that you just had to defend the fact that you peed while standing. It's like, what kind of world are we living where you gotta do that? You shouldn't, you know.

3:16Link Neal: No, because a lot of people will say, when they hear this story, none of this would happen if you just sat down to pee. Right, but we're not in Japan.

3:25Rhett McLaughlin: Right, this is a diner in North Carolina. Right. Who knows what song it is. As I've said, in Japan, there would be a sign above it that says, please sit to pee. Yeah. Which, I mean, I applaud and I like it, and I did that, and I do that sometimes. But when you're in an old diner...

3:40Link Neal: So, I lifted the lid, and I immediately noticed... The seat. You lifted the seat. The lid was lifted, but I lifted the seat, and then that was when I noticed that before I started peeing, the seat fell back down. It was one of those where they've built the toilet too close to the wall, and it's causing the top of the toilet on the tank to be jutted out just enough so that the lid and the seat cannot get... They get, like, 90 degrees, but they don't get, like, that extra 91 degrees, so they sit up all the time. So it teeters up there. And so... Teeters over the peeter. So I pushed it up and it fell down.

4:17Link Neal: I pushed it up and it fell down. And then I pushed it up a third time and like really like, like sort of just like pushed it a little bit more. And it stayed? And it stayed. I was like, we're good. All right. And then I began. This has happened to me before. Then I began to urinate or micturate, if you want me to be technical. Can I pause you there? When you're touching the toilet seat and it's going up, like when you, I picture my, I would never touch that seat. You're just touching it like raw dog with your hand, the toilet seat. I'm gonna wash my hands. And you gotta lift it. I use toilet paper for that.

4:47Link Neal: Maybe I should, maybe I will. Or maybe I'm too much. I'm using the smallest part of my thumb. Like it's like a. Yeah, yeah. I don't think bacteria can travel across the bridge that I've created. Right, okay. So.

5:02Rhett McLaughlin: And Jenna, I mean do you even know that the toilet seats go up? Yeah, because I have fallen when someone didn't put it back down. Of course I know they go up. Ooh, that's not a good feeling. That moment when your butt's supposed to. And also I cleaned my toilet, I know. I'm joking, I'm messing with you. I'm messing with you. There's nothing worse than when you sit down on a seat up toilet seat. I've never done that. I've done it a couple of times. How? It's scary, right? It's scary and then your butt touches the toilet water and it's not fun.

5:39Link Neal: Did you do this in the dark? You go down. What happened when you blindfolded?

5:43Rhett McLaughlin: Yeah, sometimes, when it's late, it doesn't happen anymore, because I don't have boys around. But back in the day. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's worse than touching the toilet seat, is when your butt goes into the toilet water.

5:56Link Neal: Well, I think the water's clean.

5:57Rhett McLaughlin: Like, your knee, like the back of your knee is the only thing keeping you from going all the way down the plumbing. But then like your knees like hit your chest. Like you get folded in. That's a big toilet. You know, okay.

6:12Link Neal: Yeah, well she's smaller than you. Okay, I couldn't do that. I'd have to have like a.

6:15Rhett McLaughlin: She bends like a folding chair. I'd have to have like a cartoon toilet. At that point you're just like, go for it. I mean, you're down there. It's like when you walk down a step and there's one more step than you think, but that step, it's not your foot, it's your ass. That's basically what it is. If you poop under water, it doesn't smell as bad. Dude, you're stepping on next week's episode. All right, so then what happened?

6:42Link Neal: So I am micturating. You've smooshed it up there and then you started. It's holding good. And then I've got a peace dream going, I'm proud of myself, and then, it all happened so fast.

6:56Link Neal: The seat started coming down. And I had two choices, and I think I made the wrong one. So choice one was to hold it. Seize it. seize it up, stop the stream, they say. Yep, clench it. Seize the stream. Clench it and cinch it. But I didn't, I reached down to grab the lid and push it back up, but as I did that, I reached right through my stream. It was like, whoo-ch-ka! And I was like, now I'm wet-handed, because I was going. You know, it doesn't start immediately strong, but it works its way up to strong, and I was full strength. And I was holding that seat up, and I was like, well, I gotta finish now, so I just finished.

7:46Link Neal: Your hand's dripping. And then, yeah, I'm just leaving a little pee on the seat for the next guy to come in and pick up. So you're sitting there triangulating this thing.

7:55Rhett McLaughlin: You got three points of contact.

7:56Link Neal: Yeah, and so then I finish, and then I let it down, and then I don't know the order of operations at this point, but I did clean up after myself, and then I did wash my hands, and then I... But while your pants were still open, your junk was hanging out? Well, I don't recall. Again, I don't recall the norm. I think I was probably like, okay, I gotta clean this up and wash my hands, and now I touch myself because I don't want to get urine on my pants as I'm zipping them up.

8:23Rhett McLaughlin: Right.

8:26Link Neal: So, anyway, then I came back to the table and I told you what just happened. There is a third option, and that's as the seat's coming down

8:34Rhett McLaughlin: and you're full stream. Pee it back up? If this is a side view, like the stream's coming down here and up the seat starts coming down, you just have to do one of these things. What?

8:48Link Neal: Seat comes down, whoop, over the top. Well, you know what I could have done? If it was one of those seats that had a feel goal? Or slap it down, make it come real fast. You know the seats have a feel goal that are open in the front? Oh, yeah. I would have peed right through the middle of the horseshoe. That's what the horseshoe's for. I never thought that's what that's for. Just in case it falls down, you can pee right through it.

9:08Rhett McLaughlin: Yeah, and it doesn't smack you on the wiener. Yeah. Because if what you say is true, then maybe it smacked you onto Peter. No.

9:17Link Neal: I still am pretty tall. You got a seat smacked? I still am pretty tall. You Peter? So that's my update. I would love to hear yours. Well,

9:26Rhett McLaughlin: first of all, before we move on, I just wanna know what was the right thing to do? you said you'd made the wrong choice.

9:34Link Neal: Okay, let's just say I'm gonna go back to that diner, because I will, because I love it. Yeah. I think I'm gonna sit down. Or I'm gonna hold it up? You're too tall to hold it up.

9:49Rhett McLaughlin: Maybe I should talk to the front. I've tried... Y 'all got a loose seat. I've tried holding the seat up, but then I'm bent over, and I'm shorter than you, but I'm bent over, and then the area of interest moves back too far. So then I'm like, I'm like, you know, I don't wanna hit my chin. You know? Wow, you're doing well. You know? You don't want to, that's not a good feeling. Right, Jenna? Sure. No, you never felt that, I hope. I hope. But the fact that every guy goes in that toilet and pees, and what do they do? just pee with the seat down. None of these guys sit down.

10:35Link Neal: They're not sitting down at home.

10:36Rhett McLaughlin: None of these guys are sitting down. Not the people I saw in that diner. So they're just pinging through the smaller hole and wiping the seat. I would not sit on that seat is what I'm saying. Yeah, you're right. I would just pee through the small hole.

10:49Link Neal: I think the only thing I can do now is I gotta take one of the coffee mugs to the bathroom with me, pee in it, and then just pour it directly into the... That's a good idea. Yeah, and then just leave it in there and be like, I need another mug. What happened to it?

11:02Rhett McLaughlin: Now, if you're gonna pee in a coffee mug, there's a whole other set of challenges. I think what you have to do is there has to be a little coffee in it, and you need to submerge. Because otherwise, the level of splatter out of a coffee mug is horrendous. Okay. Like, you're concerned about splatter? You've got to...

11:23Link Neal: How about just creamer?

11:26Rhett McLaughlin: Half inch deep in creamer.

11:27Link Neal: Instead of coffee. I don't wanna burn myself now. And I'm talking diner creamer. Cold, I don't want hot. I want room temp diner creamer. Two or three coffee mates.

11:38Rhett McLaughlin: Every time Rhett goes to the diner now, he orders an empty cup of coffee. Four coffee mates. And four coffee creamers. Goes to the bathroom.

11:45Link Neal: What's he doing? He's peeing in the front. I'm just getting ready to... He's had some experiences with toilets. It's my creamer urinal.

11:51Rhett McLaughlin: How did we get here? Why are you still watching? It's about to get better. Okay, good. All right, so just as a recap... We don't really like bathrooms. Yes, when I let my dogs outside and they pee in the side yard and I need to pee, I also pee in my side yard, it's gravel, and then it goes on through there, and there are some flower pots, and yes, I have a mean bank shot off of a, we have a big flower pot that's like three feet tall, two and a half, three feet tall, and it's like rectangular, and I lean against that, and that's where I was. You're banking it off of the bottom of the flower pot?

12:27Rhett McLaughlin: Yeah, so as not to create spatter. But you're peeing on a pot. Yep, I'm peeing on the side of the pot, which I've seen my dog do that. What's the pot made of? Flaster kind of thing. It's black, it hasn't got any mineral deposits on it. Okay, yeah. This is where I was when Lily walked around the corner and caught me. That was the most recent installment in this fiasco. And she shamed you a little bit. Yes, I'm still doing it. Yes, she saw me tell the story because you exported it to, like, Instagram or TikTok or something. Yeah.

13:08Link Neal: Our kids only see the social clips.

13:10Rhett McLaughlin: And she's like, sure, yeah. I don't know what she said, but it wasn't anything that was new to her. I mean, that ended with I've never, I haven't talked to her since, but that was just a joke. but I was on Reddit and I just happened to be, I was in mildly interesting. You know, we talk about that on the show sometimes. I like to be mildly interested sometimes before I go to bed. And I will say that I do have to pee right now.

13:33Link Neal: Okay, I don't see a flower.

13:34Rhett McLaughlin: So I think that just kinda, if you're feeling a little extra energy, that's what it is. Mildly interesting. It's a good time to make long-term decisions. A lot of people posted this in response. It's a picture of a bush, all right? There's just a bush there, outdoors. And above it it says, my husband's pee bucket with soil turned into a pee plant in a week. My husband likes to pee in a pot of soil.

14:06Link Neal: Okay. I understand. We'll let that slide.

14:09Rhett McLaughlin: In a week, this thing turned into a pee bush seemingly overnight. What is he peeing, seeds?

14:14Link Neal: What does she mean? Yeah, he's spilling his seed in the bucket. That's not how the world works.

14:20Rhett McLaughlin: Its name is Romina. No idea what planet it is. And then people started commenting and commenting. So then in the, she posted, edit. I told him how many upvotes Romina has gotten, and he said, well, did you tell him it was my bathroom? I said yes, and he got very happy. Okay. This man could be my friend. Second edit. Talk amongst yourselves, my lovelies. I am going to bed. So apparently this gathered a lot of people talking. The top comment is a fun fact about ancient Egyptians had a primitive way to see if a woman was pregnant through their urine. I think we've talked about that before, but it's off topic.

14:58Rhett McLaughlin: The second topic. Yeah, yeah. Somebody said, I have so many questions. And then she responded, ask away my friend. Why does he have a pee spot in the first place? Second question, does he keep peeing in the pot now that there's a plant? How did you come up with a name Romina? Her answers. He just likes to pee in nature, question mark. I don't really know, but he enjoys it. Doesn't hurt me, so I don't care at all. Now that's a woman that I'm thinking that I like. That's my kind of woman right there. Doesn't hurt me, so I don't care at all. Yes, he is very proud that it is now a plant. The last pea spot at the old house was Tony.

15:47Rhett McLaughlin: He has names for everything. Not sure why exactly. He chose these. Then somebody replied and said, got that dog in him.

15:55Link Neal: But how did the plant happen? How did the plant happen? Somebody asked, does he take S words in pots as well

16:05Rhett McLaughlin: since he's a nature man? She said, thank you, no. How did the pot happen?

16:10Link Neal: How is there a plant? She's making it seem like he made a plant with his urine. That doesn't work.

16:20Rhett McLaughlin: I think the best guess, which was also talked about down here, is that nitrogen. Nitrogen is a part of fertilizer. So it's some sort of nitrogen component in there. Somebody said grow tomatoes. They love pee, not even lying. Take out that weed and put some seeds or a seedling depending on where you're at in growing season.

16:48Link Neal: But plants cannot live by pee alone, right? Well, I think that. There has to be some rain as well, maybe. Cause when you pee, like when a dog sometimes pees in a certain spot of the yard, it'll kill a grass.

17:02Rhett McLaughlin: Nitrogen, plants love nitrogen until it burns them and kills the plant. That's why you get dark green spots when your dog pees on your lawn, then a dead spot when they only pee in one spot. So pee in moderation. Well, again, I'm peeing on rocks. I'm peeing beside the flower pot, and now I'm realizing I should be peeing in it.

17:25Link Neal: I should be peeing in our... How's your plant-loving wife gonna feel about that? Because I don't think she's gonna say, since it doesn't affect me, I don't care at all, because I think it might affect her.

17:36Rhett McLaughlin: The thing that I haven't told y 'all yet is that it's a group of pots all over there, and it's all like herbs.

17:48Link Neal: That she uses in her meals?

17:55Link Neal: Presumably fresh herbs. You pick them, and then you bring them inside, and you eat them. And you don't have to wash them because they haven't been fertilized or pesticided.

18:06Rhett McLaughlin: Have you been peeing in the pots? Not yet, but I'm thinking I could help. I mean, this guy said, I pee outside on our shrubs in the backyard. They flower like crazy, and now my wife asks me to pee on the other plants in the yard when they look haggard. It works really well, I highly recommend it. Then somebody commented and said, we should go on a double date. Y 'all should cross streams. I'm sure at some point that will happen. I'm not interested. You know the saying, you don't have a pot to piss in? I'm blessed, man. I'm blessed. Y 'all need to be happy for me and my family and my garden and my dog.

18:47Link Neal: Is your update that you're gonna start peeing in the pot? And I really hope that...

18:51Rhett McLaughlin: I'm not gonna pee in the pot because it's basil. Yeah, you eat that stuff, man. I eat that stuff. But down below it, I think by the way that the angle is, it's not, there's not like a plume of urine. Urine is fine, I mean, right? Madonna said you should pee on your feet in the shower.

19:10Link Neal: Well, in a lot of, they washed clothes with it in different cultures. That's what we learned about Pompeii.

19:20Rhett McLaughlin: Are we still good? Jenna? You're still good. Yeah, yeah, so you're pro me doing this. I mean, sometimes you come over to my house. Um, I don't walk over in that area. She's not gonna be eating any salad at your house, I'll tell you that much. I did, in preparation for this conversation, I did go out there and pee again, and then I bent over and I, I let it sit a while, and then I bent over and I smelled of it. Okay, we're not good anymore. No, but I couldn't smell anything. I mean, it's like, what y 'all are saying is that, doesn't it stink? Doesn't it this? Doesn't it that? No, no, no, no, no.

20:05Rhett McLaughlin: And now I'm pointing out that it does good. I'm a nature boy. I'm contributing to nature. I'm growing nature.

20:15Link Neal: I could grow nature. I still haven't ventured over to that part of your house. I probably should do that. Because I sure can smell where my dogs pee.

20:25Rhett McLaughlin: But my pee doesn't smell like my dog's pee. And your dogs are peeing on plastic grass.

20:33Link Neal: But it goes through. It's artificial and it goes through and there's gravel underneath it.

20:40Rhett McLaughlin: I don't know, man. I'm just saying it is a great feeling. And none of you are gonna take that away from me. Ever. And I have support. But your wife might. Yep, she might. She could do that. Yeah.