SHOULD SUCCESSFUL WOMEN MOVE DIFFERENTLY WHEN DATING?

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1:24And like when you're in a relationship, right. And it's like, you got to travel or you're like, uh, known and different things of that nature. Like, you know, this is a great question. Can you give me some advice? I need some advice. You think I can give me some advice. I got you what you need. Okay. What's the question? I know, but first finish what you're saying. Cause I think you're, I think you're asking me how do I, are you, are you single? Oh gosh. That's a great question. Um, Let her enjoy the holidays, my boy. That's a dirty Mac before the holidays. No, I'm not present yet, right? So like stuff is still...

2:05Well, if you're not... All right. Well, all right. Regardless, regardless. But I've heard this from other women too, like, you know, that it could be difficult sometimes or you got to... Sometimes you might have to lower your presence in moments for the man to feel more comfortable. I'm not saying that's a situation. I'm just saying I've heard that from other people before. But men don't have to deal with that. Men don't have to worry about they're on television or they're getting too much attention or somebody might recognize them at dinner. That's not something that a man ever thinks about. But a woman who is a public figure might have to consider that when the dynamics of the relationship might have some level of imbalance.

2:51Okay. This is great. And so I think I'm going to tell you what I think about that. I never, I mean, I'm aware of it. And I think the men that I'm attracted to are the men that I've dated and been with in the past. I don't think that's an issue for them. At least they've never made it seem as if it's an issue. They seem confident, comfortable, got their own. So I don't think that me being in the public eye made them feel a way. At least that's how they've all made me believe. But it probably manifests in ways that I haven't really acknowledged. I often wonder, and I, you know, because there's always a story about what kind of men I date.

3:36I date black men. On the internet, they'll tell you, I only date white men. I don't know where that came from. Maybe me back in the day being silly when I was at ESPN, joking around with Jamel, we say silly things, or we be on TikTok, and then the internet run with it. And it's like, okay, she only dates white men. That's just not true. But I think it is hard to date as a woman who is in the public eye if you're with somebody who doesn't understand that sometimes networking might look like flirting. Meaning I could be at an event. I went to a Beyonce concert. And I see a bunch of people that I know.

4:17And I'm networking. I'm talking. Yeah, we should do this. I think that'd be great. We laugh and we're joking. We're all having drinks. Now, the person I could have been with could have felt a way about that. If you're looking, you're like, I don't know what this is. I do find that that is uncomfortable. And I'm taking notes. Right. Because I don't if you love somebody, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable. You want them to be good. But I don't think that taking notes looks like me dimming my light. I would never want to be with anybody who wants me to. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who can't give me a compliment, who can't tell me I look good because I think 3 ,000 men on Twitter told me that today.

5:01So they don't want to tell me. So I try to date and make men feel safe. I don't have a bunch of relationships when I am in one. I try to make you feel good. I try to make you feel comfortable, secure, all the things, as I would want you to do for me as well. But I here's the thing that I'm going to ask you about. I'm curious and I don't know if y 'all notice it, whether you're married or single or whatever your case may be. There's something going on. And I know you have had this debate over and over again with black men and black women, where I think we are constantly talking about what one one group does versus the other group.

5:41And that's why we're in this space where we're constantly knocking heads like I don't I don't understand that now. Now I'm so confused. So I was sitting down and my friend walked up to me and he goes, you're on your phone and you sitting at a bar. You don't even look like you want to talk to a dude. If I saw a dude, if I was a dude and I wanted to walk up to you, I wouldn't talk to you because you don't seem open enough. You seem like you mean. You seem like you don't have time. But I'm just responding to a text like 10 other people are. Right. What's going on with that? Like, that's the question I have.

6:12Do you all sense that at all? Like there's just this beef, this unwritten, it just gets toxic and it gets uncomfortable. And I'm not blaming Kevin Samuels because everybody loves Kevin Samuels. Peace to Godfather. I'm blaming him. But I also know that maybe perhaps there is some blame to be there. You know what I mean? I don't know. So I'm asking you. I think it's a good question. And I think it's deep rooted. I hate to be the conspiracy theory guy, but I do think that there is some level of outside influence that has been planted. It has helped push that agenda to divide and conquer strategy.

6:50But I also think that it speaks to a breakdown in just culture of American culture overall. Like, I feel like, you know, we do a lot of traveling and, you know, I'm overseas a lot these days. And the cultural norms and cultural standards that other countries have, Americans don't have. and that's something that's not talked about enough and i think that that definitely plays a major part in the relationship dynamics between men and women because it becomes a battle right so now a woman easily can disrespect the man a man can easily disrespect the woman and then you throw some gasoline on the fire you see a viral clip go and then before you know it it's just a constant no i'm not paying for this why would you do this you should be like you know it's just like a constant just toxic thing.

7:37So I feel like that's a real, real, like just deep rooted, but I also feel like it's, it's, it's rooted in pain because a lot of times, you know, there is, there is truths to like, they say every, there's truth in every joke, like there's truth in every troll. So it's like, you know, there's a lot of pain because yeah, I used to be a financial advisor. So I have firsthand information on this. Like most of my clients were black women. And that's when I realized that black women was making a lot more money than a lot of black men. That's a real thing. But that definitely causes issues in a relationship when you're frustrated because you're not able to earn enough money to take care of your family.

8:15Somebody's making more money. They're going to feel more empowered. Let's just be honest. If a woman is making more money than a man, she's going to feel on a certain level more empowered nine times out of 10. It's going to be a different conversation. It's going to be different things that happen in that relationship. So there's underlying things that I think cause all of these, these issues. But, um, I also feel like it's just not deep rooted in culture as far as like cultural standards, cultural norms, you know, certain boundaries that other, other countries, other cultures have established that we don't have established.

8:46And, um, it's just like running amok. But to your point, rest in peace to the Godfather, he brought a lot of this to the table. And then that became an inflection point because most people aren't having these comments like when i'm outside at dinner this is not a talking point and the other part that has to be said about men y 'all have to quit being so fucking scared whether she mean or not whether you got motion or not to shoot your shot but no but this goes back to the thing where we saying before that most people can't afford to get married so there's a lot of this is an economic issue where this whole red pill community was birthed out of people that's frustrated with this people it's just like racism when people are angry about their situation they project it on other people for sure so this whole anti-woman movement that we've seen with a lot of like people online like you said a lot of stuff you don't even see in in the real world like real it's i think what i call it is the vocal minority things on social media get amplified and it seems bigger than what it really is but i've never seen somebody have a 50-50 debate in person.

9:49I've never in life, I never in my life, they might have had it behind closed doors, but I've never in my life been at a restaurant and seen people, I've never in my life seen a man tell a woman pay to build a restaurant. I've never seen that. Never in life. And I've probably been to at least 3 ,000 dinners in my life. I've never seen these hypothetical questions that permeate on social media. I've never seen in reality. But like I said, when hurt people hurt people, when you really don't have enough confidence and you really don't have enough money and you like then you're not going to want to talk to a woman because you don't even feel confident in yourself earners what's up you ever walk into a small business and everything just works like the checkout is fast the receipts are digital tipping is a breeze and you're out the door before the line even builds odds are they're using square we love supporting businesses that run on square because it just feels seamless Whether it's a local coffee shop, a vendor at a pop-up market, or even one of our merch partners.

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