Becoming a Great Man with Shane Sams

0:28Light that spark fire nation. How does one go from being a good man to a great man? Also, how to define greatness in your own life right now and oh, so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Shane and our sponsors. Are you ready for the ultimate all-in-one platform for entrepreneurs, marketers, coaches, and agencies? Build funnels, automate follow-ups, manage clients, and even white label your own software. Say hello to our featured partner, High Level, and visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial today. Whether your company earns millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you stay ahead of the pack.

1:09Right now, get the business guide, Demystifying AI, free at netsuite.com slash fire. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash fire. Shane, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. JLD, this is the place to be. It's good to be back with you again, man. That's what I'm talking about, dude. Successful that most people disagree with. I think that the biggest thing I've learned over the past few years as I've gone through a physical health and mental health journey is you got to rest more. Everyone wants to hustle and grind.

1:48And I know when we were coming up, we were putting in those 70-hour work weeks and doing all those things to make our companies great. But I've learned in the past few years, man, that if I will just rest for a couple days, three days a week and just chill, I am so much more productive and happy and successful. And so are my wife and my kids on the backside of that. So for everybody listening out there, you got to hustle, slow down and rest sometimes. Alex Formosie may not like that, but you got to rest. I love the sprint and chill methodology. Like today I'm doing seven interviews. Like I am absolutely sprinting my face off today, but guess what?

2:27The other six days this week, I'm going to be chilling. Like I'm going to be doing a little bit of work here and there, of course, cause I like it, but I will be relaxing. I'm in bed at nine 15 PM every night. I get a fantastic night's sleep. I mean, let's just kind of be a little real for a second here, Shane. I'm looking actually at your picture on zoom and, um, might, might be time to update that because on this picture, you're a big boy and we actually were, we were on video before we pressed the record button here and you're not nearly that big anymore. Like you definitely have gone through a health transformation.

3:01And I love the fact that you've done that because to me, that just means you're going to be around to be on my show in another decade, in a decade after that and so on and so forth. And Friday, today we're talking about becoming a great man. And Shane Samps is the guy to talk to about this. So Shane, you have found that a lot, and I mean a lot of the men that you interact with, they kind of feel like they're checking all the boxes. They're exercising pretty well. They're sleeping pretty well. Their relationship with their partner is pretty good. Their business is pretty good, but something still feels off.

3:37What's going on there? You know, man, my journey with this question started a couple years ago, really probably about 2020. I think we were all kind of faced with our life in the mirror in 2020 when we were all trapped at home and going through the pandemic. And, you know, something happened to me that kind of changed my life at that time. I had a guy call me. His name was Joe Johnson. And he said, Shane, I want you to come partner with me to help me build this live event company. We're going to go out. We're going to tour the nation. We're going to fill up stadiums. and over the next two years, man, I was like, wow, this is the opportunity I've worked for for a lifetime.

4:11Started speaking to like three to 10 ,000 people like every other weekend. And it was just, and this huge company formed up around us. We kind of created an alliance and a partnership to build this thing. And, you know, I was on the road for a couple of years and everything was going good, man. Just like they said it in the script, right? You got, I had the, I had the house, I had the big property. I had the money. I had the hot wife. My kids were doing great. Everything was really, really good. And, um, but for some reason I just felt insanely unsatisfied and, and the bigger my name got, the more unsatisfied I felt.

4:49And in 2022, my weight and my health had hit like a crisis mode. I was almost 280 pounds. I was never working out, wasn't doing anything. And this this is somebody who's been fit their whole life. And my health started falling apart and ended up in the hospital with a staph infection in my blood. My body was going sepsis. It's about nine days and then six months of antibiotics to overcome that. And and I started really evaluating everything, my heart, my mind, my body, my soul, my spirit, everything, dude. And I realized something that all these things I had built in my life were other people's checklists.

5:29And I'm grateful for those checklists like my mom and dad, society, my community, all these things people told me to do. Go get a degree. Go start a business. Go go. Be good to your wife. Be good to your kids. Be good. All these things were good. They made me a good man, but I wasn't living life on my terms. there was things I wanted beyond that that would make me a great man if I would just make my own checklist and I think that's why a lot of guys especially successful guys like us they get to a certain point and they look around and they get unsatisfied this is a common story we call it a midlife crisis whatever you want to call it but really it's because you're living off of other people's checklist you're chasing external validation the more money you make the more attaboys that you get the more status you get the more you're supposed to feel good about yourself, but there's absolutely no inner alignment.

6:22There's no safe space for you to process your past, your wounds, your traumas. You're just supposed to be the strong, successful guy all the time. And I think guys eventually run into that wall and some people don't realize that, Hey man, you're living for everyone else. And the reason you don't feel significant is because it's not your actual goals. So that was my journey. And that's where I came up with this concept, man. I want to be a great man on my terms. I am a good man. I'm proud of all the things I've done, but I'm on the back nine, baby. I'm 47 years old. There's some things I've got to do for me.

6:57And I think if more guys would wake up and realize that it's not being selfish, it's actually being supportive to what you're supposed to do in your short time on this earth. You and me both, brother, I'm on the back nine. I'm just a couple of years behind you. And we have a lot to do. We have a lot to do. You know, I have a 19 month old. I'm just getting started with this guy. I want to be around for his kids. I mean, I want to be around, you know, I mean, like to me, there's a lot to do. And I love how you kind of brought up that, you know, comparing, you know, how as you get more success, you start comparing yourself to people that maybe are a couple of steps ahead of you.

7:31And, you know, in some ways, listen, use them for inspiration and motivation because that could be a good thing. But at the end of the day, compare and despair. You will always despair on some level when you're comparing yourself to anybody else. There's always gonna be somebody that's in better shape than you. There's always gonna be somebody that's richer than you. There's always gonna be somebody that's taller than you, that's shorter than you, that's fill in the blank, a better dancer than you, a better singer than you. Compare and despair. But guess what? There actually is one person, in my opinion, that you should compare yourself to.

7:59And that's you yesterday. And if you're winning that comparison more days than not, you're winning at life. Because guess what, Shane? we're not always going to beat ourselves from yesterday because maybe yesterday I was a 10 out of 10 and maybe today I'm a 7 out of 10 that's okay but I'm looking to maybe four days a week maybe five days a week you know I'm looking back I'm being like you know what I'm actually a little bit better than the person I was a couple days ago in some way shape or form but I learned something I you know maybe put in a little bit of exercise work that I might otherwise not have like I'm just in some ways getting better every single day.

8:38So we're talking today about becoming a great man. And how does one go from being a good man to becoming a great man? I think the first thing you got to do, and this, again, this is coming from my own personal journey, and I'm always just sharing things so that people, like you said, can get a little inspiration, but they got to do this for themselves. But I think the first thing is you've got to aim, you've got to decide the aim. It's, it's, there comes a point where your mastermind can help you. Your mentors can help you. But sooner or later, you've got to pick, man, what you're aiming at. And I've actually kind of, you know, I use the word better just like we all do because I want to get better every day.

9:13I'm in better shape now than I was at 20 after about a two year health journey. So I am getting better in that regard. But I'm really just wanting to go toward what I want to go toward. And that requires a couple of things. Number one, you've got to get rid of the past, man. If you start living in the past, you're just going to get drugged down by that and you're just going to stay there. It's good. It's good for a little little measuring stick, but it's also don't stay in the past. And a concept that I came across about a year or two ago when I was doing a lot of mental health work is radical presence.

9:45Like you've got to be you've got to know exactly where you are. It's like a GPS. You know, everybody thinks I'm going on a destination. I'm aiming for the future and I'm going to drive to this place. But what do you type into the GPS first? the address that you're at. And if you can get really clear and truthful and honest without judgment, without getting lost in all your mistakes and regrets and whatever took you to this place and you get radical presently in the moment, then you can show up fully for yourself. You can show up fully for your clients. You can show up fully for your podcast audience, your friends.

10:18But then you can say, hey, where do I want to go? Where do I want to be a year from now, right? Then the future is blurry. You can never guarantee the outcome, but that's what I do almost every day. One of the great practices that I've discovered in my life is waking up in the morning, going out in the sunshine and just sitting in the light and getting present. My son had a lot of, he had a traumatic experience when he was young and we had this amazing counselor that we worked with for two years. And every time we would walk into her office, she would make us land in that room and be totally present because we couldn't deal with the past until we were in the present.

10:57And we would do this thing where we would look around, we would find five things we see, four things we hear, three things we could touch, two things we had tasted that day, and then take a deep breath and just that one smell that you had in the room. And I now use that for not only getting present in the morning, but I do that three or four times a day in transition. and I find that the more present I am, the more clear I am about who I want to be. Like what, what is greatness on my terms? What does that mean today? And it allows me to actually aim. It's just like aiming a bow and arrow, man.

11:31You sit there and you stop and you land and you breathe and nothing matters but the target. And the target is not something someone else gave me. I didn't look over at my man, JLD and say, Oh my gosh, look at his amazing podcast. I didn't look over at our boy, Pat Flynn and say, holy crap, how did he get that Pokemon card? You know, whatever it is, man. It's like, I'm not looking outward. I'm looking inward, man. Uh, there's an awesome Bible verse that says the kingdom of heaven is within. And that is true. And the more we can look internal into ourself and figure out who we are, we're going to have a much clearer picture of what it would be.

12:06So that, that greatness is on your terms. You know, it's not Alexander the Great. It's not Donald Trump. It's not, you know, Russell Brunson. It's not whoever you want to look at. It's okay. That shows you what is possible, but then you've got to pick the path. So the more present you can be, you can get rid of the checklists. You can write your own checklist and then you can follow that to get actually what you want. Fire Nation, Shane is dropping absolute value bombs. And if you think he's even close to done, you got another thing coming when we get back from thanking our sponsors. AI is a hot topic right now.

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14:59High level, join the revolution. Shane, we're back. And one thing that I've always admired about you is that you've always practiced what you preached. I mean, you said a lot of things and you really do follow through on those things. Of course, you know, we all slip off the line from time to time and, you know, with X, Y, and Z, but we bring ourselves back. So how are you today defining greatness in your own life? You've said something a couple of times now where you say like four or five days a week, am I getting it done? And a really good friend, you know, Jeff, remember Jeff McMahon? Oh yeah.

15:31He's my trainer. Jeff's great guy. He's your trainer, dude. Yeah. He trained me for a while too, man. But Jeff, Jeff has a great concept he calls living in the majority. So one, allowing yourself a, if I do this four out of seven days, then I need to honor myself for that. That's a, that's a, if I do it more, that's fine. If I do it less sometimes, if I'm averaging out living in the majority on anything I'm going to do, that gives you grace and it keeps judgment off yourself because nobody's going to judge you worse than yourself and all those crazy voices in our heads that we've picked up along the way.

16:03So definitely trying to live in the majority. But one of the things that's really helped me, a practice that's helped me is journaling. I believe that greatness flows through your lips and your fingertips. It's one reason I love podcasting and speaking because I get to say the things that are in me out loud as much as possible. But also just a tool that I use every single day is a little thing I call give myself credit. And nobody else is going to give a man credit in their life, guys. I'm just talking to the guys out there. I know there's some ladies listening, but some men, people, society loves women, kids, and puppies.

16:38They really do. That's what we're here for. We're here to take care of you guys. We're here to protect you guys. We're guys, you might get some kudos and some attaboys and some things like that, but to really give yourself credit for those living in the majority moments, for going to the gym four times, for getting up and writing an hour in that book you're trying to write, for launching that business, you've got to be able to give yourself credit. So this is a daily practice that I do to practice what I preach and I drink my own Kool-Aid. I write down what I want to accomplish that day. And I'm like, this will make me a great man today, not later.

17:11I'm not trying to become a great man. I'm being a great man. I'm embodying being a great man on my terms. So I'll write down my list of things I'm going to do in the morning. But then I come back at night and I used to journal and it was like a 13 year old girl's journal. You know what I'm saying? I would write like a paragraph and I'd be like, today I got to go on a great lunch with my beautiful wife. Blah, blah, blah. You know what I'm saying? I was like trying to think out all my thoughts and it just wasn't doing it for me. It wasn't hitting my masculine soul. You know what I'm saying? man.

17:41So what I do now is man, at the end of the day, I write down everything I did, man. And I start at 6am. And I don't care what it is. It's like got up, took a pee, took out my dogs, drank a coffee, saw the sunshine. And I'm just writing down everything I did in that hour. And then I, after I get down everything I do, I go back through the day and I compare it to the list that I started out with. Right. So I'm looking for that majority moment. Did I do most of the things I said I was going to do that today. But then I do something really funny. I like I give myself credit for everything that I did that I said I was going to do.

18:16I give myself credit for all the things I thought I was going to do or for that that came up during the day. And I just do something really simple. I write a smiley face by all the things I draw. I draw a little smiley face by woke up, man. Every day you wake up as a gift. Saw the sunshine, man. What a gift. Took my daughter to cheerleading practice. What a gift. Went to this gym with my son and showed him how to bench press because he doesn't know how yet as good as his old man. You know what I'm saying? He's getting bigger though. He's 16 now. So he's, he's about to pass me up. I had to start TRT to keep up with him.

18:48You know what I'm saying? Like I just, I go through and I give myself credit. And then if there's things that were bad, like, you know, we're all married. You know, if you got a, got a partner, got a spouse, you know, most of the time we bring out the best in each other, but occasionally the worst. Maybe me and Jocelyn had a little argument or something. I'll put a little frowny face there. It's something I got to work on. And, uh, but, but here's what it did for me. You know, anything you want to grow, including your own greatness, you have to measure it and you have to be able to see it. And at the end of every day, I started doing this about a year and a half ago.

19:19And every day the smiley faces are already, and the frowny faces are like one or two, you know what I'm saying? But we, a good man is going to feel like a failure if anything goes wrong because he's letting down other people's checklists and he's going to remember that fight or remember that you didn't get to take your dog for a walk or whatever you know oh man didn't get to go see mom and dad and they're getting older i'm getting a little guilty over that but by doing that by journaling and giving myself credit and looking for my greatness you will get what you're looking for people if you're looking for them bad moments you're going to find them and they're going to stand out and they're going to hold you down.

19:59But giving myself credit, not waiting for external validation, not waiting for anybody else to tell me I'm a great man. That has been such a game changer, man. And everything that I've done every night I go to bed, I won the day. And I don't just say that because something big happened. I say it because all the little things were the wins. So that's one of the ways that I practice what I preach, man, is that I've always said, if you're going to do anything in life, you've got to be consistent, prolific, and resilient. You got to do it on a consistent basis. You got to do it every day. And when things get hard, you got to be resilient.

20:31And that's one of the ways that I actually live that out, man. And when you speak words out loud, dude, and you write them down, greatness flows through your lips and your fingertips. You're going to manifest exactly what you want. And if you're aiming at greatness, that's what you're going to get. Shane said the phrase, you got to measure it. And Fire Nation, I hope you realize that what gets measured gets improved. that's why that's such an important methodology and Shane you created the great men project what is this project and how can fire nation get involved yeah man the great men project came out of you know my my own personal journey and of course as you do this it starts bleeding into other things you're doing whether it's your mastermind whether you're coaching people whatever it is and I started talking to guys and I started noticing hey everybody's got checklists and they're not theirs.

21:19Everybody's going in a direction and they're unsatisfied. So I wanted to kind of create a place where great men could come hang out, good men who want to become great on their terms. And, you know, I've always been obsessed with building communities, whether it's online communities or offline communities. And I wanted to have a place where people didn't go take a course. I am so sick of courses. The courses, what are we talking about, people? Chad GPT's here. You can ask it anything you want just about it, right? But I wanted to create a place where frameworks like giving yourself credit, frameworks like getting present could kind of live.

21:54And I wanted to talk to other men that I knew were pursuing greatness on their terms, right? So I'm in a sprint right now. We've started recording our podcast. We're going to be launching Great Men with Shane Sams in July of 2025. that's going to lead to the great men project where I'm collecting all of these frameworks and tools that men can use to go out and pursue their own greatness. We're going to have an online community where guys can come in and, you know, it's not one of these like alpha bro, take you out and beat you up like a Navy seal things. And it's definitely not a trauma circle.

22:26Well, everybody talks about everything that's ever happened in the past, but I wanted a place where guys could get real, get vulnerable and just hang out together. And the ultimate goal in 2026, is I'm going to start doing retreats for men. Every year I go out with my mastermind to this little lake in Kentucky. It's called Dale Hollow. And me and three of my buddies, we rent a houseboat. We get in the boat. We pull off from the dock. And by the time you're out on the lake, there are no houses on the lake. There is no cell phone service. And you just keep driving until you find a beach. We get out.

22:58We sit around. And we get around a campfire and smoke cigars, man. And we just talk about real life. And every year we've been doing this now for almost a decade and we bring two extra guys with us. You know, we just rotate guys in to give them the experience. And every single year, those men tell me, man, this is what I need more of in my life. If I had a place to do this, you guys are so lucky that you have this kind of just experience in your life, just hanging out with other good men, becoming great on their terms. I would pay for it. I would do it, whatever it was. So that's what great men will lead to.

23:33We're going to call it the Great Men Gatherings. And I'm going to just travel around the country, man, doing retreats, getting guys out there, helping them get present. And we're going to define greatness on those trips and then give them the tools out in the world to go out and be great men. So that's the Great Men Project in a nutshell. It's going to be starting out with the podcast, Great Men with Shane Sams next month. And I know I'm going to have to get JLD on there because you're a great man, baby. You know what I'm saying? You're a great man, baby. But I'm really on a mission, man, really on a mission to do this.