Emotionally Uncomfortable with Heather Chauvin

0:01Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire. The only daily show interviewing the world's top entrepreneurs seven days a week. Today, we'll be breaking down being emotionally uncomfortable. To drop these vibe bombs, I brought Heather, Siobhan, into EO Fire Studios. Heather is a leadership coach who helps successful women courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms. She started her career as a social worker, helping adults understand children's behavior, but it wasn't until 2013 when a stage four cancer diagnosis pushed her to take a deeper stand for change, uncovering how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams.

0:37She's been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur, Real Simple Magazine, MindBodyGreen, Google, and more. And Fire Nation will talk today about emotional intelligence, developing a habit of courage, and oh so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Heather and our sponsors. Are you ready for the ultimate all-in-one platform for entrepreneurs, marketers, coaches, and agencies? Build funnels, automate follow-ups, manage clients, and even white-label your own software. Say hello to our featured partner, High Level, and visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial today.

1:16These days, your business needs total visibility from global shipments to tariff impacts to real-time cash flow. That's NetSuite by Oracle, your AI-powered business management suite trusted by over 42 ,000 businesses. Download the free ebook, Navigating Global Trade, Three Insights for Leaders at netsuite.com slash fire. Heather, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. I actually believe it's more about emotional regulation than strategy. You can have a perfect plan and strategy and all the things, but if you don't know how to emotionally regulate, not only are you not going to get there, but you're not going to feel successful.

2:00We are going to be talking about being emotionally uncomfortable, emotional regulation, and all that jazz. Because listen, a lot of us, Heather, have heard of the phrase emotional intelligence without really understanding its full meaning. So what do you mean when you talk about emotional intelligence? This is something that I actually got into early on in my entrepreneurial journey, but it wasn't necessarily business that brought me there. It was parenting. And so in general, business is about relationships. And if we don't know how to manage our emotion, I talk a lot about this on my podcast, Emotionally Uncomfortable, but it's not just about feeling your feelings.

2:44I think a lot of people think, you know, they say, screw your feelings, follow the plan, but you have to be able to utilize your emotions as your guideposts. Like, why are you angry? Why are you triggered? How can you understand it as a language and utilize that as you're navigating, like managing your team or, or scaling, um, putting yourself out there and being seen and understanding that like fear, guilt, overwhelm are not necessarily there to stop you. They're there to maybe get your attention as a guidepost. And so when we can learn to co-create with our emotions, we're navigating life very differently rather than when we're letting those emotions or feelings stop us from taking the action we need to take to get on the other side where freedom is.

3:40So I want to talk about three common themes that seem to come up over and over again with the women that you work with when it comes to their fears. Talk about one right now. That if they go after what they truly want, they're taking away from those they care about. Such a common theme, especially for women, ambitious women, that if I'm doing something that my soul is craving or the impact or the work that I want to do or I'm physically out of the home, away from my family or the people that I care about, I'm taking away from them. Also, if I'm giving to myself, I'm taking away from other people.

4:22Such a huge misconception. Give us a real world example of that. So often I'm like, you need to put your soul on the calendar. So if I know that going for a solo walk with no phone, no kids, nobody, and myself because it fuels me, I may be literally walking with guilt. I may feel so guilty for leaving the house, creating the space, doing the thing that I know I truly need. But when I pour into myself, when I return home, I'm present. I'm more patient. I can handle my children, my husband, my team, my clients, big emotions coming at me because my literal cup is more full. And when I can handle that, I have more emotional capacity to hold space for other people.

5:18So that's like a practical way of like I'm pouring into myself so I can give more to other people. Talk about another theme that you see with the women that you work with when it comes to their fears. being well resourced in 2013 I was diagnosed with a stage four cancer and it radically shift how I showed up especially in my in my business and I noticed this with the women that I work with but being well resourced is having time having energy and having financial resource and I do believe that there's this like having the energy of more if I have too much I'm going to lose it all so So it's like the fear of loss is such a normal fear that I hear a lot of women have as well of like, again, it's going back to being emotionally uncomfortable.

6:10It's not just being, you know, outside your comfort zone. It's also being okay to hold the more, more money in your bank account, more white space on your calendar and like, oh, the shoe's going to drop. Something else is going to happen. So it's very common and it's okay. But I also think we're rewiring our nervous systems to feel safe with more, with having capacity and wealth and extra. Give us like a real world example of that, that maybe you went through or one of your clients that you've worked with to really bring that to life. Yeah. So this still happens to me, but you know, you think, oh, when I get there, when I hit that revenue goal, I see this a lot with my clients, but a perfect example.

6:57When I hit the million dollars or when I have, you know, X amount of dollar a month or when I pay off the credit card, then I'm going to feel a certain way. And you get the money and you're like, oh, I still don't feel safe. I still don't feel content. I still don't feel this super. It's a normal way of being in the world where you you have fears, but you have to realize externally that it's not what you're trying to manage. You're not, it's not about the money. It's about the feelings. So if I want safety, when I, you know, when my credit card is paid off or when I hit a certain revenue goal and I think I'm going to feel full or fulfilled or live a meaningful life, I have to figure out how to get that in those moments every single day.

7:46That's happened to me over and over again. Every time I hit a new level in my business until I finally surrendered and realized, no, it's me. I have to find that in myself today in that moment. Fire Nation, this is such an important topic and we have a lot more to talk about all around this when we get back from thanking our sponsors. We live in a world of options, whether it's figuring out which TV series to dive into next or what to order for dinner at a restaurant with a 10-page menu. Having too many options can be overwhelming. The same applies if you're a business owner who's hiring. It can be overwhelming to have too many candidates to sort through, but you're in luck.

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11:21So visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial and see why thousands of businesses are switching. That's highlevelfire.com, where marketing, sales, and automation finally come together. High level, join the revolution. Heather, we're back and you believe that we need to develop a habit of focusing on courage. What is the first step in that process? So I don't believe we need more information. I believe we need integration. So think about how often you're reading a personal development book or you're listening to a podcast when people are telling you, go do this. That is literally the next step to take.

12:06So I always tell people, if you deeply trusted yourself, what action would you take right now? What would you do differently if you knew with 100 % certainty that what you want and desire is going to come true? How would you show up? You're going to know, like pen to paper in your journal, it's going to come to you. You already know what you need to do. now go do the damn thing. And if it's a big action that you need to take and it feels too overwhelming for you, break it down into a 10 minute action and just rip the bandaid off and do the thing. The fear of taking the first step is so much bigger.

12:52And once you do that, it gets so much easier. Do the damn thing, Fire Nation, do the damn thing. Now give us a real world example of when you actually did this in your life, when you focused on courage? Okay. This is so practical and it happened this morning. I went to the gym, actually recording this in a hotel in New York. And I didn't want to go to the gym this morning. And I could feel the resistance, like building up the pressure, the pressure, the stories were so loud in my mind. And I'm like, okay, Heather, all you need to do is put your shoes on and walk downstairs and get a coffee. That's it.

13:35You don't even need to go to the gym. I did that. And it's like, I ripped a bandaid off. Once I was downstairs, I was like, oh, now you have your coffee. Now just walk to the gym, walk to the gym. Well, you're already in here. So let's just get on the treadmill for five minutes. And literally that's what I did. I was like, what's the next step that I need to take? I didn't mentally buy into the whole workout. Byron Nation, sometimes just taking that first bite, taking that first step is so critical. Give us an example of one of your clients where you really had to just encourage them about focusing on courage.

14:14You encouraged the courage. What did that look like? What was that example? So I was having a conversation with a client this morning and she was having like a financial breakdown. And I'm giggling because I think there's a moment of surrender where, you know, so often, especially when you're working with people, you can see what they can't see because you remember those moments in your life. And she finally surrendered to the point where she was like, okay, what can't I see? and she was open to hearing it. And I said, what action would you take right now if you had to make an extra thousand dollars?

14:55If you had to make$10 ,000, what would you do? Whose problem would you solve? Pay attention to the people around you that have already said, I need help with X, Y, Z. And even if your brain is not focused on that, how can you re-approach that person? And so she kind of like surrendered, fully heard me, wrote down three names of people that she was going to reach out to, literally took the action, got on a call with them and made a sale within 24 hours. I mean, Fire Nation, sometimes when that back is against the wall, you turn into a superhuman. I used to call it the baby effect because so many of my past guests, they made such strides in their business that they had been struggling with for years.

15:46Like the moment they found out they were going to have a child or the day or the week or the month that their child was born. Because now all of a sudden, they weren't that scared about making that one phone call and maybe having somebody slam a door in their face or hang up on them. They were scared about something else, which is like not providing for their child. And so those other fears that they made much bigger than they actually should have been kind of just disappeared. Now, you talked about the develop, the need and the desire of developing a habit of courage. I want to know why now. Why is this an important habit to develop?

16:23Well, I think we've gone through like major cultural shifts in the last, well, five years where it's been like up, down, up, down, up, down. And I think now more than ever, and it's always going to be this way, but you will find moments in your personal and professional careers and life where you need to become a different version of yourself. and externally when you feel like there's a big energy coming at you and you just can't manage it you just want to shrink and hide I say become the buffalo like run towards the resistance and ask yourself like is it really that big of a deal nobody's paying attention it's something as simple as like my hair used to be really long I cut it over a year ago and people still say to me oh did you just cut your hair?

17:19And it sounds funny, but I go, oh my gosh, they're really not paying attention, right? Like people are not paying attention to you the way you think they are. And so pretend that nobody's watching and do like take the action that you don't want to take because your life needs you to show up. You need to become well-resourced. You need more time flexibility. You need financial capacity. You need mental and emotional capacity because things are only going to get bigger and louder and you need to learn to rise above it, not let it take you down. Yeah. There's a pretty incredible quote. I'm going to completely butcher it, but essentially it's along the lines of like, you spend the years like zero to 10 thinking everybody loves you and that you're like the center of the entire universe.

18:10And then like 10 to 30 thinking everybody hates you, 30 to 50 trying to impress everybody, and then 50 and beyond, you finally realize nobody actually is even thinking about me. I mean, they're focused on themselves. They're focused on their life, their problems. And we spend the first 50, 60, 70 years of our life thinking that everybody's thinking, judging, whispering, talking, all these different things where everybody's just kind of living their life, doing their thing. And we've talked about a lot of things today, Heather, when it comes to being emotionally uncomfortable. What would you want the one single takeaway to be from this entire conversation today?

18:53If you valued time as much as you value money, how would you invest your life differently? So I always talk about if every 60 seconds of your life was worth$1 million, how would you invest it differently? When you begin to value your time and your energy, just as much as you value your bottom line, your revenue, your profit, that's the quality of life you're seeking. And so you redirect your focus and you watch success happen on your terms. Heather, if Fire Nation wants to learn more from you, wants to connect with you, what's your call to action for our listeners today? Yeah, check out my podcast, Emotionally Uncomfortable.

19:45And I always love when people listen to these conversations. And just send me a message on Instagram. You can find me at Heather Chauvet. Fire Nation, you're the average. Of the five people you spend the most time with, you've been hanging out with HC and JLD today, so keep up that heat. And for links to everything we talked about, visit eofire.com, type Heather in the search bar. The show notes page will pop right up. And Heather, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation today. For that, we salute you, and we will catch you on the flip side. Thank you. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Heather for sponsoring today's episode.

20:22And Fire Nation, are you ready to rock? your very own podcast. Check out our free podcasting course where I will teach you how to create and launch your podcast for free. Freepodcastcourse.com. I'll catch you there or on the flip side. Are you ready for the ultimate all-in-one platform for entrepreneurs, marketers, coaches, and agencies? Build funnels, automate follow-ups, manage clients, and even white-label your own software. Say hello to our featured partner, High Level, and visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial today. These days, your business needs total visibility from global shipments to tariff impacts to real-time cashflow.

21:03That's NetSuite by Oracle, your AI-powered business management suite trusted by over 42 ,000 businesses. Download the free ebook, Navigating Global Trade, Three Insights for Leaders at netsuite.com slash fire.