Escaping Toxic Workplaces: The Courage to Leave with Jeff Davis

0:01Light that spark fire nation JLD here and welcome to entrepreneurs on fire the only daily show interviewing the world's top entrepreneurs seven days a week. Today, we'll be breaking down escaping toxic workplaces, the courage to leave. To drop these value bombs, I brought to Jeff Davis into EO Fire Studios. Jeff is an award-winning author, blogger, speaker, mental health advocate, and consultant. He has delivered keynotes worldwide and is a sought-after expert in authentic leadership, resiliency, and workplace dynamics. In today's information, we'll talk about how he defeated a corrupt multi-billion dollar company, some experiences from people who worked at Google, Meta, Boeing, and Intel that was a little toxic.

0:41And also mental resilience and oh so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Jeff and our sponsors. Fire Nation, this is your year to get unstuck and to grow a successful business. Attend the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark and now featuring football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO Fire. Again, request life-changing tickets today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO Fire. Jeff, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with.

1:20What's up, John and Fire Nation? Absolute pleasure to be here. One thing that comes to mind that a lot of people disagree with is that in my experience and research, being kind is one of the keys to becoming very successful. And I can tell you very sincerely that I've been crucified, and I'm not using that word lightly, in both workplaces and other environments. You know, people telling me kindness means you're weak, kindness means you don't get it. And here's what I have to say. Being kind, it comes from emotional intelligence, it comes from personal growth, and it also comes from realizing that a lot of people are struggling.

1:56So kindness is power. Fire Nation is right on theme with our episode today, which is all about escaping toxic workplaces, the courage. to leave. And Jeff, I want to talk about some of your craziest workplace experiences. And there's also a story of how you defeated a corrupt multi-billion dollar company. So take it away. Yes, let's jump right in. So very quickly, I'm going to set the table with some context in that over my career, I've done both simultaneously. I've been this writer and professional speaker, and I've been this contractor, consultant, and employee. They've both complemented one another.

2:32So let's go to this bonfire company event I had in New York. A lot of the colleagues from the New York office was there. I came from my home state, the Connecticut office, and I tried to be friendly, which is what the event was supposed to be. And I got met with rudeness and I can own my part of it and say I did not react appropriately. I dropped the F-bomb and it escalated in absurd ways from there. My colleague, he took out a knife, charged me, tried to slip my throat. Thankfully, I had people who held him back. I also had people who blocked me. If it wasn't for that, I might not be here. Very intense.

3:09That was only the beginning. That was only the tip of the iceberg. I encountered a corrupt CEO in my home state of Connecticut who I stood up to. I had another experience, a contract experience in Times Square, New York City, which on the surface seemed like an iconic role. I had to walk out on the spot because it was so incredibly toxic. Now, that sets the table with some context for what happened when I was overseas. So late 2017, I moved to the Netherlands, and I'm thinking, great, I'm leaving all of that toxic insanity behind in Connecticut, New York. And without exaggeration, I can tell you it was 10 times worse in the Netherlands.

3:45So I had this one role where I was working in downtown Rotterdam, Netherlands, at a company called Heloprint. It was a tech company, and I can honestly say it was the most toxic company I've ever worked for. The CEO loved that I'm this writer and speaker who's crushing it, so he had me speak to the whole company. And I didn't know that it was so toxic, and that created an absurd amount of jealousy. And I'm not just talking about gossip and backstabbing. At this company, at HelloPrint, I experienced sabotage, where they actively sabotage my projects and also, of course, tried to say bad things about me to other companies.

4:21I did stay on as a consultant and I did work directly with the CEO to improve that culture and improve profits. So despite the bizarre experience, it actually has a very positive ending, but I will name that as officially the most toxic company I've ever worked for. And that leads us to the corrupt company. It's where I worked at after HelloPrint, also in the Netherlands. And there, the entire ecosystem wasn't toxic, but there were two bad eggs who ruined the whole company for everyone. especially a toxic HR director. And he had been ruining people's lives for years. He was making people very scared.

5:01What happened is I went on burnout from this, you know, contract experience. I was contracted with them. They had to keep paying me and the company just wouldn't have it. They had no empathy. They had no respect. And it wasn't only demands and harassment, but it escalated to the point of threats. And it was to call it bizarre would be an understatement. I decided to stand up to them. And, you know, I did that by being strategic. Knowledge is power. I learned everything I could about Dutch law. And I realized, oh, I'm in my rights. They're the ones breaking the law. And I involved my lawyers. I crushed them in the legal battle.

5:32I spoke up. That's another key. That's another key essential aspect to my winning this huge battle is that I spoke up. I got the HR director fired. And, you know, finally, I kept my cool amidst all of this going on at once. The HR director had been ruining people's lives. One of my colleagues was very close to ending his life because of the bullying from the HR director. Thank God he called me and I was able to talk him off the ledge. And thankfully he's thriving and doing well today. So the core of this corrupt experience is really it represented abuse that I've experienced over the course of my life.

6:09And I do go into that experience in depth, including naming the abuser in the book that is live on Amazon globally as of May 1st, The Courage to Leave, breaking free from toxic workplaces. And that's where I go into that more in full in terms of how I defeated that corrupt company. All I have to say is, wow. And I mean, that's a capital W-O-W. I mean, one thing, I was in the military for eight years. I was an officer in the U.S. Army. I went to Iraq. And I have to be honest, like to be a little vulnerable here, if somebody pulls a knife out and goes at another guy. I don't know how active I am in blocking that guy and trying to take down the knife wielder.

6:51I'm just going to be honest. I'm just going to be honest here. So I hope you were appreciative of those people who stepped in, Jeff. Yes. John, as usual, you nail it. We jump right onto the same wavelength right away because I actually had a colleague named Chris from Bridgeport, Connecticut, and I'm being completely sincere. He blocked like five of the New Yorkers. There are actually several who came out with me and then there was the one guy with the knife. And because he blocked them, it slowed down the guy with the knife. So yeah, I am eternally grateful for Chris and for the other people who stepped in because yeah, it could be a much, much worse outcome than what actually transpired.

7:29Now, there's also a couple of experiences of people who worked at Google, Meta, Boeing, Intel. I mean, it's not just companies in Rotterdam that are having these issues, obviously. So give us like maybe one of those experiences. Yes, absolutely. So I felt it extremely important to not only share my perspective and experiences, but also the perspective and work experiences of many others. So let's go into one of them. There was actually my dear friend Anya at Meta, and she experienced an incredibly toxic culture while working at Meta, where she was consistently undervalued and dismissed. And it got so bad that, in fact, she ended up becoming suicidal, which is very sad.

8:09She was able to bounce back, but that insidiously toxic culture completely destroyed her. And she made such a profound point that I emphasize this when I talk about it, is that she says bullying is not necessarily always overt. Sometimes it's in those subtle, repeated put-downs and dismissings and disrespectful situations. And that can eat and wear away at your self-confidence and self-esteem. So I thought that was incredibly eye-opening from Anya and her time at Meta. So you're a big believer in mental resilience. Let's talk about how we can reclaim our power and decision-making through this mental resilience.

8:47Yes. So this is a topic that I've actually been requested to speak on a lot lately, both to police officers and lawyers. I also gave this to a multi-billion dollar company, Polestar. So let me share some practical tips here to build the mental resilience. First of all, there's a technique called RAV, and people love this one, and it stands for recognize, acknowledge, validate. And that's when you're having those internal challenges and those internal struggles. And first of all, you recognize it by simply becoming aware of it, and then you acknowledge it. You can either do this out loud or you can even do it silently internally to yourself.

9:21I see you. You're giving yourself that space to feel it, and then you validate it by putting a name to it. For example, it could be like, I feel sad. I feel angry. I'm confused. Maybe it's all of the above. And that's the key there. I will now tie this into some really quick tips on how do you shift into neutral and become more mentally resilient when you're in these completely destructive situations. I just mentioned the RAV technique. Also, you can take life one breath at a time. Just slow it down to one breath. There's, of course, meditation, prayer, and reflection. These work a lot for the people that I work with.

10:00Calling someone, a friend, a relative, a friendly colleague, a lifeline. I've even used lifelines before and it went incredibly well. Or even just going for a walk outside. These are incredibly simple, yet deceptively powerful, because this is what gives you that mental resilience to then speak up and to advocate for both yourself and others. Because when you're in a more neutralized, solid place in yourself and you've done the inner work, that's when you can really, really make an impact and improve the situation. Fire Nation, so much value being shared by Jeff right now. And we have so much more coming when we get back from thanking our sponsors.

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12:22It's a great way to make some extra cash to put towards your next home project, bucket list goal, or future vacation. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. Jeff, we're back and let's call a spade a spade. A lot of people are scared to break free from toxic workplaces because they fear financial ruin or they fear regret for some reason. How can we break free despite these fears? Yes, so there's a lot of advice out there to just leave the role, the job, the job or the contracting opportunity or the consulting experience. And if you had talked to me five, six, seven years ago, I might've said that advice too.

13:05And I'm gonna very quickly share an experience and then it'll tie directly into my advice. So I went on this global speaking tour in 2022. I felt like I was on top of the world, helping all these people that parlayed into a great year in 2023. And then at the end of 2023, I moved back to America after living overseas for six years. And I'm now permanently settled in Tampa Bay, Florida. I love it here. And, you know, as is the entrepreneurial journey, we have those epic highs and we have those challenging lows and it was nothing bad. It was just a matter of, you know, building some connections again and getting my footing back in my home country of America.

13:38And I say that because in 2024, I had a consulting experience, highly lucrative, by the way, with a company in downtown Tampa. And I performed well. It went great. But it was it turned out to be quite a toxic experience and not the worst company I've ever worked for. But I had witnessed some colleagues and executives who are doing drugs. Also, the CEO there had some some serious issues as well. And I say that because I have empathy for anyone who feels like, you know, they're building their business and they're growing, but at the same time, they feel like they can't leave on the spot. This ties directly into my advice.

14:11What I say here is be strategic and play the numbers game. And that's where you can apply like crazy. While you're growing your business, you can apply to consulting opportunities and contracts and jobs. And I promise you, and I mean this sincerely from my own experience, and I know a lot of people will not say this. I am going to say it. It is a great economy. There are opportunities. You just have to keep going. I sometimes talk to people who feel defeated by these toxic workplaces and they're like, oh, Jeff, I applied and I got rejected. And I tell them, you know, keep going. It's a numbers game.

14:42You will find something. And then very briefly, the part two of this, the emotional aspect to avoid the regret. Don't be impulsive. You know, I've made mistakes before and you know what I did? I'll call a friend and I've had friends on the phone who were able to give me great insights. So if you can combine that where you're being strategic and you're applying like crazy and at the same time don't do anything impulsive, that's how you can work through these difficult experiences to get to something better. Fire Nation, powerful things because I know that you're building a company, a lot of you.

15:14You have employees. You have just people that are counting on you and that you're counting on. And we all want the same thing, to build a company without toxicity. So Jeff, how do we do that? Absolutely. This is a really important part of this conversation because while we're acknowledging the truth of a lot of these workplaces, we're also solving it and improving it and making things better. I'm collaborating right now with a very successful CEO by the name of Scott, and we go around consulting with companies on this. So here are some tactics. You can engage with compassion and empathy by looking past behavior and speaking to potential.

15:50Now, this does not excuse the person's behavior, but what it does do is it looks at what are those persons' strengths and talents and how might they be able to impact this organization. It means not judging people, where you get curious about them, their experiences, what's really going on with them, why are they acting this way, what's underneath, treating people like they matter by acknowledging how they feel and also advocating for well-being. And then from there, you can partner for mutual benefit by speaking with honesty, showing your cards, a.k.a. being transparent, and working towards a better path together.

16:24I'll just add in this at the end of this particular point, that there are a lot of people who actually don't like the dysfunction. They don't want to tolerate it. They just don't know how to address it. And what I'm finding is that a lot of these workplaces are technically skilled, but they lack the human skills. and these human skills, having those tough conversations, building trust and listening, that's what will truly make an organization successful. Now, workplace trauma, it's real. I mean, man, I'll tell you, having been in Iraq for 13 months, I can tell you PTSD for soldiers who have been in war, it is real.

16:59So that is just something that is absolutely a truth for a lot of people who have experienced it. So if you've experienced workplace trauma, how do we heal from that? Well, John, I just want to say this, Thank you very much for your service and all that you've experienced and being in Iraq. That's unthinkable. And I just wanted to acknowledge you for that. Although I've never had anybody come at me with a knife. I will say that. Maybe some more dangerous weapons were pointed my way at least, but nobody came at me with a knife. Thank you for the acknowledging. Yeah, that was, it was quite intense, but I'm glad that everyone's okay.

17:32So, yeah. So, so to the core of it, I'm going to share something that's incredibly challenging. and I know this with absolute certainty with every fiber of my being that this is the most powerful thing you can do. Look at the root cause. When you look at the workplace trauma, what's underneath it? What does it represent? Is it abuse you've experienced? Are there unresolved patterns there? And I know this is easier said than done, but the people I've interviewed and also based on my own experiences, when you resolve the root cause, that's how you address it. It might mean talking to a therapist.

18:05I mean, I'll be open right now. I worked with a psychotherapist in the Netherlands who changed my life, and I could work through some of those deeper patterns, and that healing allowed me to become even more powerful as a writer and a speaker. Seeking help is a sign of strength. Joining groups, there are groups out there where people just talk about their toxic workplace experiences, and they help one another. Speaking up and speaking out, maybe speaking out on social media. If you want to take the approach I use with social media, I don't name the names of the companies online. I'll just speak to it generally.

18:35And then that gives me the freedom of speech. And of course, people support. And finally, I'll just say this, get out of there. You know, the title of this book I'm launching globally, The Courage to Leave, get out of that environment. And I'm not advising to walk out on the spot, but that's where you apply daily, where you use resources, where you seek help, where you find your inner strength. And that's my absolute best insights to work through these tough experiences. Jeff, if Fire Nation wants to connect with you, wants to learn more from you, give us more details about your book and why that's a great place to start and any other call to action you may have for our listeners today.

19:14Absolutely. So this book, The Courage to Leave, Breaking Free from Toxic Workplaces, it's launching globally. I'm working with the publisher. We are coordinating on bestseller campaigns across many countries. This is my fourth book. It's a huge launch. Check it out on Amazon. I promise there are value bombs and insights in there for you, and it will help you through those most difficult experiences. I'm also adding lots of free value on my blog. Check out my website, jeffdspeaks.com. You can check me out on LinkedIn, speaker Jeff Davis. Feel free to email me directly as well, Jeff at JeffDSpeaks.com.

19:55I answer all my emails. What I want to leave everyone with is that if you're struggling and going through one of these toxic workplaces, you're not alone. You are not alone. And I promise you there is a way out. Fire Nation, you're the average. Of the five people you spend the most time with, you've been hanging out with JD and JLD today. So keep up the heat. And for links to everything we talked about, visit EOFire.com. Type Jeff in the search bar. The show notes page will pop right up. And Jeff, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation. For that, we salute your brother and we'll catch you on the flip side.

20:29My pleasure, John. It was an absolute honor to be here today. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Jeff for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation, what can 4 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs teach you? How about how to achieve financial freedom and fulfillment? My first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, is a revolutionary 17-step roadmap that will lead you to the lifestyle that you've been dreaming about. The book took me 10 years of accumulating the genius of the world's top entrepreneurs, and you can get it all in one place when you visit UncommonSuccessBook.com.

21:03I'll catch you there or on the flip side. Fire Nation, this is your year to get unstuck and to grow a successful business. Attend the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark, and now featuring football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump, at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOFire. Again, request life-changing tickets today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOFire.